• Activity
  • Votes
  • Comments
  • New
  • All activity
    1. How does one learn how to learn?

      I'm quite a few years out of highschool, and recently went back to school. I'm enjoying the environment (weekends and sometimes online), which was one of my biggest worries, because I tried doing...

      I'm quite a few years out of highschool, and recently went back to school.

      I'm enjoying the environment (weekends and sometimes online), which was one of my biggest worries, because I tried doing more school right after high-school and it did my head in.

      However, I'm struggling with actually learning the more dry stuff. For a few of the courses there's stuff to calculate, there's problems to solve and such, and I can get that to stick and not dread doing it.

      That is not the case with the very dry legal things... how do I learn stuff like that? Any tips? Because right now I'm looking at basically trying to brute-force it by hoping to be lucky and re-re-re-reading the entire book hoping the right stuff sticks for the exam.

      23 votes
    2. Have you altered the way you write to avoid being perceived as AI?

      I recently had an unpleasant experience. Something I wrote fully and without AI generation of any kind was perceived, and accused of, having been produced by AI. Because I wanted to get everything...

      I recently had an unpleasant experience. Something I wrote fully and without AI generation of any kind was perceived, and accused of, having been produced by AI. Because I wanted to get everything right, in that circumstance, I wrote in my "cold and precise" mode, which admittedly can sound robotic. However, my writing was pointed, perhaps even a little hostile, with a clear point of view. Not the kind of text AI generally produces. After the experience, I started to think of ways to write less like an AI -- which, paradoxically, means forcing my very organic self into adopting "human-like" language I don't necessarily care for. That made me think that AI is probably changing the way a lot of people write, perhaps in subtle ways. Have you noticed this happening with you or those around you?

      30 votes
    3. Installing an aftermarket radio in a old car

      My partner has a old 2003 Ford Focus and I want to change the radio from stock to something that has bluetooth. Here's my understanding on aftermarket radio: Every car is different, depends on the...

      My partner has a old 2003 Ford Focus and I want to change the radio from stock to something that has bluetooth.
      Here's my understanding on aftermarket radio:

      • Every car is different, depends on the dashboard and the radio harness thing
      • Finding out what what radio to buy/how to fit it is usually done by finding old YouTube videos from someone with 100 followers from 2008
      • Sometimes it can be really easy and sometimes it can be really annoying to fit

      Is my understanding correct?
      I've tried this before with another car I had (a 2009 Mitsubishu Lancer) and it was such a nightmare I gave up. So I want to double check with any car nerds that I'm not missing anything obvious or there's no source of truth or something to go checkout/learn.

      Any help would be appreciated, otherwise I'm going to go and find some 180p videos from 2008 to watch.

      Edit @smithsonian, @Weldawadyathink, @scottc
      Thabks for your replies, the site looks great for what I'm looking for. I'm not US but they do ship internationally. Plus it will at least help me work out what parts I might need!
      Glad something like this exists, thank god.

      10 votes
    4. Need some career advice, potentially pivoting from a family business of manufacturing to starting afresh in another country

      I have a bit of a curveball for the kind folks of tildes. I have a fairly successful, flourishing and comfortable business of manufacturing-export in India which I handle with my dad. I handle...

      I have a bit of a curveball for the kind folks of tildes. I have a fairly successful, flourishing and comfortable business of manufacturing-export in India which I handle with my dad.

      I handle communication with customers, some documentation work like invoicing, the wages for the workers (we employ a 150 people). I also handle the manufacturing schedule, the quality team and the product development along with planning for material.

      It is a fairly technical line of business ;processes range from press stamping, welding, milling, drilling, turning, hot forging, polishing, chrome plating, zinc plating, powdercoating etc.

      Alot of my work is just looking over what my team does and just guiding them, motivating them and making sure they are taken care of.

      I have worked hard to reduce the Labour turnover and uplift my workforce financially. It's a big family, albeit with hiccups from time to time.

      But I have learned from mistakes and kept on improving.

      Now on to the advice bit. I got married and my partner moved from the UK to be with me. We discussed all the challenges and thought we could make it work.

      But it has been extremely difficult for her to move here. Quitting her job, leaving her family and not being able to settle here is affecting her mentally.

      Seeing the state of the country she doesn't want to raise our kids here. Which I wouldn't mind either, but it will be extremely difficult for me to start afresh in another country.

      The business is very hands on, and I'm not sure I can handle it remotely even if I find someone to handle the supervisors. Training someone alone for that role will take a lot of time, trial and error.

      To find someone who will care for the work and put in the effort will want a good amount of money, and finding someone you can trust in itself is a challenge for a small business.

      30% of my revenue goes into salaries, rent and electricity. About 40 to 50%% into material and maintenance, not to mention unanticipated expenses like bribes. So there isn't a lot of margin to experiment with big hirings anyways.

      A big reason for our profitability is because we're quite lean.

      Winding up the business would also be difficult. It would take a few years to do, it would be difficult emotionally for my parents and me. I know the amount of work my dad put into it.

      They will want my happiness so it's not impossible to do. They could live their retirement years on rental income and me taking care of them.

      The final challenge would be finding a job in UK or Europe (wherever we move). I'm not sure how employable I will be in a corporate environment. I don't have any other work experience other than an internship in Toyota in supply chain during my mba days (I have an economics background with an mba in marketing)

      I know ultimately only I myself can figure this out. But I just needed a sounding board and just share as much as I could.

      If anyone read this far ahead, thanks for taking out the time, really appreciate it.

      16 votes
    5. Help finding shoes

      I tend to buy 1 pair of shoes that are my "go to" shoes. Thus i like them to cover a variety of roles while fitting a few requirements. These are worn basically every day barring literal special...

      I tend to buy 1 pair of shoes that are my "go to" shoes. Thus i like them to cover a variety of roles while fitting a few requirements. These are worn basically every day barring literal special occasions. I'll wear them to work, disc golf, a walk, a light hike, anything less than the fanciest of dinners or occasions, and can get away with them if I have to even for those. Oh and while I find it matters less these days, i'm an 11-12 foot size which tends to limit my options in physical sores.

      I like slip ons at this point, both as an aesthetic and from a practicality standpoint, and due to my "do it all" requirement generally want something that is comfy, looks half decent, is in black, but also has decent grip on the bottom.

      I've currently burnt through my keen slip on's. I got these almost exactly a year ago in black, and they've been "good enough" for $60-75.

      That said I'm not in love with them, and I'd also like a dress shoeish equivalent like these rockports . However i've heard they're garbage, especially for the price.

      I'm throwing this on here because I'm not against spending more for better quality shoes, but I've spent 2 or 3 times as much as the keens, and gotten very similar results. Hell i'd LOVE if I could just take them to a cobbler to get them fixed every X years, but seems that's really only a thing for heavy duty work boots at this point (which led me down a rabbit hole of looking for a specific kind of redwings, but those also were no longer being made)

      Merrell went from quite good many years ago to just garbage that didn't even make it 6 months, and on the other side of the coin I found some Lowa "snow shoes" that fit my requirements and lasted I think 2-3 years, but were no longer being sold by the time I needed new ones.

      Does anyone have some suggestions, or am I just better off getting the cheapest thing that I like the look of because they're mostly all going to be burnt through? Even then, any suggestions on half decent brands?

      15 votes
    6. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      6 votes
    7. Blogs: Show your own writing and good posts you have found recently

      I think we can do this once again. The last one went okay and there has been some other recent threads on blogging and the state of the internet and sharing good blog posts we have found is a good...

      I think we can do this once again. The last one went okay and there has been some other recent threads on blogging and the state of the internet and sharing good blog posts we have found is a good alternative.

      So please share links to both your own recent blog posts and interesting posts you may have read recently.

      9 votes
    8. What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga)

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was...

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

      If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

      12 votes
    9. What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga)

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was...

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

      If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

      9 votes
    10. What were some artists, groups or albums that had an influence on you before you were old enough to choose for yourself?

      The cutoff age would be different for different people. Early music shapes us. I have read that even people with dementia respond to music from their early life. I thought of a few for me, and I...

      The cutoff age would be different for different people. Early music shapes us. I have read that even people with dementia respond to music from their early life. I thought of a few for me, and I was curious about people here.

      21 votes
    11. What creative projects have you been working on?

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on. Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just...

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

      Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

      If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

      10 votes
    12. What does it mean to be a step-parent?

      I've had this idea rattling around in my head all day and feel I need to get it out. I apologize in advance if my thoughts seem jumbled or unoriginal, I'd just like them to escape. As a preface, I...

      I've had this idea rattling around in my head all day and feel I need to get it out. I apologize in advance if my thoughts seem jumbled or unoriginal, I'd just like them to escape.

      As a preface, I speak of being a step-parent to young children through adolescence. The dynamics change when you are older and your parents remarry.


      What does it mean to be a step-parent? I've wrangled with this most of my life in some way - my grandparents divorced before I was born, and I had a step-grandma from the start. Being around her always came with extra rules. I would later realize this was always the case with new step-parents, after my own parents divorced. Is that really what it means to step-parent though? To come into a situation and impose your own new rules and routines on this child that isn't yours, who has no real connection with you? I chafed with these restrictions and impositions. I disagreed many times, and it hurt me when I felt that my parents didn't support me, their child, and instead agreed with this impostor.

      Of course this is a simple, childish view, but it was certainly correct in some ways. Most often, I simply felt confused and angry about why these adults who were not my parents were pretending to be. Much of this is likely unresolved trauma from the divorce itself - it was very messy.

      At times though, I was right to mistrust these people who had step-ed into my life. My stepmom was (is) emotionally abusive, and my dad enabled and supported that behavior. My stepfather tried to force religion on me, nearly kicking me out of the house over it. Fortunately in that case my mother was ready to leave with me (literally, with packed bags) and he backed down.

      So how does one handle a step-parent? How does one be a good step-parent?

      Years ago I met a woman who I came to love. She came with two children, who I became a stepfather to. Now I was in the position of the impostor, the interloper to this family dynamic which was already established. I really tried my best to figure out where I should draw what lines. How would discipline be handled? What rules did we need? How would I know that I didn't overstep some boundary or line? Given my history, I felt both prepared and utterly lost for what to do. I didn't feel that I'd ever had a positive model of a step-parent in my life. The closest was my stepmom in some moments where she truly supported us - between the abuses. I certainly wasn't going to be just like HER though.

      Like any rational human being then, I talked to my wife about this at length. We established a few ground rules: We would do our best to be consistent (between mom, dad, and me), We would always keep the best interests of the children in mind, and we would never badmouth/doubt/cast shade on the decisions or actions of the other parents involved - at least not to the kids. These gave a good foundation, and we are also fortunate in that the adults in the room could get along and act in good faith with each other.

      I work as a teacher, and fell back on that role often - a person of authority, who isn't a parent, but is certainly there to help you succeed and work with the parents. This seems to be a good framework to build off of.

      What does it mean to be a step-parent? For me it means being a co-authority, a sort of triumvirate of care for the children. It means accepting that complex situations mean there are few easy, simple answers, and being able to navigate that. It also means knowing where your boundaries are, and not butting up against them, or worse, going over them.


      If you are a step-parent, or have had one that's been a positive influence for you, I would love to hear your thoughts. Even if you aren't, or don't, I would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for reading my messy opinion piece, and maybe for the next one I'll write when I have more than an hour to work on a post!

      17 votes
    13. What are your favorite static site generators for creating text based and fast blogs/web pages?

      I'm using Bearblog right now and I love it but since I love tinkering a lot, I'm looking for a static site generator so that I can build mine by myself and take full control over my blog....

      I'm using Bearblog right now and I love it but since I love tinkering a lot, I'm looking for a static site generator so that I can build mine by myself and take full control over my blog. Unfortunately my tech knowledge is not enough to build my own static site generator at the moment but I'm trying to get into that as well.

      I know Hugo, Astro, 11ty etc. I'm looking for a much simpler tool.

      22 votes
    14. New users: Ask your questions about Tildes here! (v4)

      It looks like we're getting some new sign-ups! Welcome to Tildes! This thread is for you to ask any question you have about the site, from “what is the moderation philosophy?”to “what does that...

      It looks like we're getting some new sign-ups! Welcome to Tildes!

      This thread is for you to ask any question you have about the site, from “what is the moderation philosophy?”to “what does that blue line next to some comments mean?” to “what is the general vibe like here?” Tildes has a lot of documentation, history, and embedded social norms that can be daunting or opaque at first glance, so here’s your opportunity to get help with anything you need.

      Questions about anything and everything are fair game. Follow-up questions are encouraged! No question is too simple.

      Also, a quick note: the only person who can speak in any official capacity on Tildes is our admin @Deimos. Everyone answering who is NOT him is just a helpful community member!

      It is perfectly okay to ask any question — even if you think it’s been asked before, or even if you didn’t search for an answer beforehand. Just ask away, and someone will answer you!

      57 votes
    15. Running ethernet in new home

      We're excited to be closing on our first house in several week! It's a newer build but doesn't have ethernet run so in the nearish term future I'd like to run cat5 cat6 to some key locations: main...

      We're excited to be closing on our first house in several week! It's a newer build but doesn't have ethernet run so in the nearish term future I'd like to run cat5 cat6 to some key locations:

      • main level for TV and a mesh wifi node
      • second floor offices (PCs) and entertainment area for consoles/second TV

      Any really good guides that others have followed? So far the guides I've found focus on switches and crimping cables rather than how to get a cable from Point A to Point B effectively without knocking more hole that necessary in the wall.

      Edit: meant cat6, thanks for the note.

      32 votes
    16. Speculative fiction that speaks to our current moment(s)

      I'm looking for your short stories, novelettes and novellas, and to a lesser extent novels too, that directly speak to the politics and social realities of today....

      I'm looking for your short stories, novelettes and novellas, and to a lesser extent novels too, that directly speak to the politics and social realities of today.

      https://www.uncannymagazine.com/article/rabbit-test/ was a short story I shared here about 18 months ago that directly dealt with abortion restrictions and the future created from them.

      Another user shared Better Living through Algorithms for a more optimistic sort of take on "AI"

      And recently I was reminded of Mur Lafferty's The Ophelia Network, a novella which features a dystopian society where one of the changes from today was the Heritage Law. People of color needed to prove ancestory at least three generations, "preferably" descended from slaves. This plot point runs mostly in the background through the story but pops up occasionally.

      From The Ophelia Network

      Agent Frank looked up from Saxon’s tablet. “Your file says you’re half Black, half white. Your father’s people can be traced to sale at a South Carolina auction—wow, in 1619!” She looked at Saxon. “Is that correct?”
      Saxon nodded. “Our records say he’s descended from the first slaves to set foot in this country. His father’s people have been here longer than most American families.”
      Frank smiled. “You’re really lucky that those slaves had a kind master who kept good notes on his inventory.”
      Bailey didn’t let his TV persona slip one notch. He had always been calm in the face of racist bait. He met Frank’s eyes and simply nodded; his father’s genealogy was not news to him. After the president signed the Heritage Law, all people of color had scrambled to do genealogical research to justify their place in a country their ancestors built but was suddenly not theirs. They needed proof of at least three generations of forebears in America, preferably descended from slaves.
      The sponsors of the Heritage Law presented it as a step toward thanking slaves for building the country. America would thusly reward the slaves’ descendants with citizenship and the right to stay. What the sponsors failed to point out is that millions of other people of color would be deported.
      The Heritage Law meant the first-generation Haitian family across the street from Bailey’s parents had been deported just last week. His parents were still trying to clean out their neighbors’ home and put their things in storage before the government claimed the house and everything inside.
      It was with relief, not pride or gratitude, that his parents found the information about his many-great grandmother and her sale in Charleston, South Carolina.
      “Yes, I’m a legal citizen of America,” Bailey said. His voice was slurred as his swollen lips rallied their troops to muster forth a communication.

      I can think of a bunch of novels that say big things. The Handmaids Tale, 1984, Fahrenheit 451 etc. But I find shorter works tend to be more responsive to current events and often more cutting for their shorter length. I'd also suggest trying to avoid really common novel recs and focus on niche novels or shorter (also typically more niche I guess) works. But I'm not the boss of you.

      Share your recs? Link them here if they're free to read online?

      25 votes
    17. Any VLAN expert here? Will be setting it up on my Mikrotik router and Unifi APs this weekend.

      I come in search for somebody who knows a thing or two about VLANs or, if possible, had set it up for themselves at home (or work). I have Mikrotik router and Ubiquiti Unifi APs. My goal is to...

      I come in search for somebody who knows a thing or two about VLANs or, if possible, had set it up for themselves at home (or work).

      I have Mikrotik router and Ubiquiti Unifi APs. My goal is to have three separate SSIDs on my APs to differentiate clients. One group would be closest family (group 1), another friends (2) and the last one would be QR-setup guest wifi (3).

      The reason is security. I run 24/7 server at home with many services that I don't want other people than #1 to see. But I also run ie. DNS there that I would like all to see (all three groups; or make them use other DNS via DHCP-set-DNS, ie. 1.1.1.1).

      So far I believe everything from that list is doable with the right knowledge (that I have yet to achieve). But I would also like some other things and that's part of why I'm asking here.

      • Is it possible to initiate connection from #1 to device in #2? Ie. from server to Raspberry that serves as temperature sensor for Home Assistant? Is it some built-in functionality like "higher number VLAN can access all lower numbers" or do I have to setup some exception on my router for speciric IP and port? Or specific LAN port (I have 24 port router, yet not everything is connected via ethernet)
      • Do I have to set it all up in specific order? I have read that I can cut myself off from accessing my router if I setup VLAN incorrectly and that's what I don't want to do :-)

      If you know how to setup VLAN and could provide some points to kinda carve the path I could stick to, I would be really grateful! I do not want manual of step-by-step instructions, rather some points to follow so I don't fall for something important I missed.

      I will of course read up on it myself and will experiment a bit (I have old RB133 or maybe even RB433 around that I can use for learning), but it would be great to have some pointers.

      Thanks in advance for any advices or recommendations.

      14 votes
    18. Dystopian book recommendations

      I'm looking for dystopian book suggestions. I read The Hunger Games, Divergent and The Maze Runner as a young adult and would like some recommendations (YA or Adult). Thank you!

      26 votes