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    1. Lisica - A Scientist Soap Opera ... Looking for beta readers for the first draft of my four volume series!

      As an author who normally writes a lot of thrillers with dark subjects, I found at the outset of last year that I just couldn't add any more darkness to the world. Lisica is a story I've been...

      As an author who normally writes a lot of thrillers with dark subjects, I found at the outset of last year that I just couldn't add any more darkness to the world. Lisica is a story I've been incubating for over 20 years, about a fictional island 1600 km off the coast of Oregon in the middle of the Pacific. I've just finished the series and it needs a new set of eyes to take it to the next level.

      It is pure escapism, a love story about eleven researchers who are sent to Lisica for eight weeks to categorize the island's life before a new global satellite agreement comes into force and the USAF has to reveal the island to the wider world. The novels are equal parts scientific discovery, (with special emphases on data science, field biology, geology, meteorology, marine science, archaeology, and linguistics) and equal parts torrid romance between all these beautiful people. In many ways it is a utopian story, about people in paradise doing valuable work who can also love without hurting others. There is no toxic masculinity or bullying on this island, no sophomoric communication problems, no jealousy nor regret. It is my belief that natural challenges such as storms and cliffs and the mystery of the unknown is enough. This isn't Lost. There is magical realism here but it is more realism than magic.

      I'm hoping to find a few qualified beta readers who have a background in these sciences, to help me make sure I present them correctly. But it's a lot to ask, for sure. Each of the four volumes is 15 chapters of exactly 26 pages each. 1560 pages in all. 425,000 words. If anyone knows a retired biology teacher with plenty of time on their hands, that's basically who I need at this stage.

      My next step is to turn each chapter into audio episodes. As well as an author, I'm an Audible narrator and professional character actor. It is why each chapter is exactly 26 pages long. They make for sixty 42 minute audio episodes. I will eventually release the series week by week for free on my literary podcast over the next year.

      Hopefully, this scratches someone's itch. Thanks for reading!

      11 votes
    2. Surviving vegetarianism as a non-vegetarian chef

      My SO decided that she'd be a vegetarian after watching the most recent Avatar movie almost a year ago. I am the kind of person that will spend hours perfectly managing a charcoal smoker to make...

      My SO decided that she'd be a vegetarian after watching the most recent Avatar movie almost a year ago. I am the kind of person that will spend hours perfectly managing a charcoal smoker to make the perfect brisket and whose COVID hobby was making the perfect steak. I love chasing technique and incremental improvements. I hate instant pots and think making soups are boring- I want action and creativity rather than strictly following a recipe. I also enjoy cooking for others but cooking food I don't like to eat and don't like to make saps a lot of the joy out of it. This has been a challenging transition but I just wanted to share what's been working for me so people who are in a similar boat can survive, too, and hear what other people are doing to survive the transition as well.

      1. Embrace the wok. Every meal from here on out can be a 1 pot mise-en-place made by action star. There is so much in making the perfect wok meal that it is crazy. Chinese cooking demystified is a great place to start, as is Kenji's book "The Wok." This single-handedly made me realize that I, too, could love cooking vegetarian.
      2. To add meat flavor and texture into your meal without MSG, embrace the mushroom.
      3. Wheat-started ferments are the next level down on the umami flavor chart without a lot of the vinegar of lacto-fermentation. Fermented soy beans are dope as are various fermented chile peppers (both korean and sichuan are delightful in different ways).
      4. To add meat flavor into your meal without MSG, fermented everything is your friend. The Noma Guide to Fermentation is a great place to start and the pao cai pickle jar is the easiest way to have that on hand if you aren't eating pickles every day. Fuschia Dunlop goes into great detail on that in the Food of Sichuan.
      5. "Alternative meats" never work if the meat is not the centerpiece of your meal. For example, impossible or beyond pork does not work ever in a pork fried rice because fake meats don't have the required fat content. Personally, I also really taste the pea protein flavor and have given up on them entirely. Use fresh mushrooms instead. Vegetarian mapo tofu isn't omitting the pork but rather adding wok-fried diced oyster/shitake/enoki/chanterelle mushrooms (removing some moisture is key- mushrooms have a lot of water in them) and increasing the amount of oil used since the mushrooms are so absorbent. Basically, impossible meat is impossibly bad- embrace vegetarian meals and their offer of totally unique flavors and textures.
      6. A Nakiri or Usuba and a thousand little stackable steel mixing bowls makes the prep experience a lot better. Also, those bowls are like, $2-3/bowl at restaurant supply stores- don't buy them at amazon or walmart. Online restaurant supply stores offer similar prices+shipping.
      7. When making dishes, particularly in a wok, your dish can still have fish sauce and other peoples' can have chinese light soy sauce or japanese soy sauce. BTW- another umami bomb- fermented sauces. Thai fish sauce or garum analogues are for you and soy sauce is for your vegetarian buddies.
      8. There do exist good vegetarian broths that can mimic the flavor but not the gelatenous texture of a homemade chicken stock. AFAIK the only way to come close to that homemade broth mouthfeel is to thicken the soup in a finishing step with some type of flour (white wheat, teff, arrowroot, whatever you have on hand!). My greatest broth successes have involved a mirepoix, shitake mushrooms, piles of garlic, and tons and tons of nori, roasting or broiling it in an oven to add char, and then boiling it down with black peppercorns.
      9. Your new burger recipe is Kenji's black bean burger. It's really good.
      10. Most importantly, you can still cook for yourself sometimes. Just because other people don't eat meat doesn't mean you can't on occasion. You can still make The Dish even if you're the only one eating it. Accept that, when you move, you won't become friends with your butcher anymore and get weird cuts on the sly (h/t to Primal Supply of Philadelphia, the best butcher shop in the world).
      45 votes
    3. Fairphone Keep Club: Sustainable consumerism?

      As you may well know, Fairphone is a company that originally arose from a kickstarter campaign and makes phones that are as easily repairable, as sustainable and as fairly sourced as possible....

      As you may well know, Fairphone is a company that originally arose from a kickstarter campaign and makes phones that are as easily repairable, as sustainable and as fairly sourced as possible. They do have their issues, but compared to other big phone companies they've done a great job with this.

      Now it appears that Fairphone is due to announce the so called 'Fairphone Keep Club' on the 14th of September - a bonus program as we all know it. You buy stuff, you get points for what you buy, and when you've got enough points you can redeem them to buy more stuff.

      The keep club website claims that it's the only rewards program that gives back to those who keep their Fairphones as long as possible, but judging by the listed 'challenges' it appears that the most efficient way to gain points is to simply buy new stuff.

      Personally I'm a bit torn on this, due to the idealistic viewpoints I tend to judge Fairphone under in accordance with their stated sustainability goals. I do realize that is a much higher standard than the big-players in the phone industry achieve. I also get that Fairphone wants to build its brand identity and create incentives to keep customers and sell their products. But at the same time I can't help but think that in the end that program is an incentive to be less sustainable, as it ultimately provides you with those fancy points as a psychological incentive to buy the newest and latest Fairphone product.

      So I wanted to bring this topic into a wider community that may not currently be as deep in the Fairphone bubble: Do you think such bonus programs will rather help spread the idea of a more repairable, sustainable approach to phones, or will it rather serve as an incentive to artificially shorten a phone's lifecycle by prematurely buying a new one? And more generally speking: Do you think advertising strategies rooted in consumerism and classic capitalistic company goals are compatible with sustainable product lifecycles somehow, despite not exactly having aligned interests?

      Note that I also posted this on Lemmy. I'm interested to see how those discussions will compare.

      22 votes
    4. Desktop CNC recommendations?

      Hi everyone, So I'm thinking (haven't actually decided yet) about getting into CNC machining in a very hobbyist, fun-to-learn sort of way sometime in the next year. I'm trying to use this as an...

      Hi everyone,

      So I'm thinking (haven't actually decided yet) about getting into CNC machining in a very hobbyist, fun-to-learn sort of way sometime in the next year. I'm trying to use this as an opportunity for some discussion around the current state of entry-level hobbyist CNC's. I have wanted to have a small CNC and the ability to use it for small parts for more than 5 years now. I think learning CAM would be very challenging but useful also. I wanted to ask if anyone is aware of any desktop CNC's that are priced reasonably (ideally in the $3,000 or less range) that are somewhat similar to Prusa. In being similar to Prusa, I mean built with good quality parts but also with a sizable community for support and the ability to repair it yourself for long-term use. I would only really be machining wood & aluminum, although if small and very simple steel parts could be occasionally machined at a slow feed rate that would be freakin' awesome.

      So with all of that said, what is my background and experience?

      • Not an engineer, biology/healthcare background. But am generally good with computers and technology. No programming experience at all.
      • Have been 3D printing for about 5 years
      • Comfortable with modeling in Fusion 360
      • Do not have a workshop of tools. No table saw, no drill press, no lathe, etc. Just 3D printers and some handheld power tools. I have no desire to have a workshop with large tools like that, either.
      • Generally only make small functional parts. The ability to CNC small aluminum parts to add significant strength to larger 3D printed parts would be useful. Also, would be useful to copy small aluminum/steel parts of things that break around the house like, for example, a small metal part in my washer that broke off recently.
      • I also do not have a laser cutter, and am open to input that that might be the better thing to get before a small CNC.

      Thanks for any feedback!

      12 votes
    5. Fellow Tildes origami enthusiasts. What are you folding? What are you proud of at this moment?

      Hello, everyone! I've been back into it for a little over a year. I started at an art camp when I was roughly 12 or so. I had someone I saw doing it show me a couple things and I still to this day...

      Hello, everyone!

      I've been back into it for a little over a year. I started at an art camp when I was roughly 12 or so. I had someone I saw doing it show me a couple things and I still to this day remember every model he taught me. Unfortunately it didn't advance much further than that for another 16 years or so, but here we are.

      There are so many communities out there for it, but I never seem to find one that's terribly active that isn't Reddit. I've found a discord that has some interesting challenges and prompts to stir up some discussions, except they usually are just individual answers. Hopefully I can drum something up here.

      Currently I have two projects in the works that I still need to get myself to finish. I'm roughly "half-way" through Satoshi's Bahamut and working on a Saku B Monster Hunter Saltas Queen model that is nearly finished.(Just needs shaped)

      So far my proudest is LQD's modular phoenix. (https://imgur.com/a/L527otB) It took me roughly 6 or 7 hours to make and put together, I think. I actually ended up having to fold 3 wings as I forgot to reverse the instructions to make the other. >.>

      34 votes
    6. I’m really trying to appreciate the World Cup from the US

      Time zone challenges aside, I’m really appreciating the growth in the competition and the extent that the tournament has grown in popularity, viewership and more importantly recognition. When I...

      Time zone challenges aside, I’m really appreciating the growth in the competition and the extent that the tournament has grown in popularity, viewership and more importantly recognition.

      When I (for the first time) watched the Euro’s last year there was a perceived slower pace of Football and it took some getting used to compared to the pace of, for instance, the Premier League. But after watching a few games I’ve come to realize their game is developing at a high rate - and this World Cup’s excitement, quality of play, and upsets are evident that these players are catching up fast. They really are really putting on a show to be appreciated.

      But, like I said in the title, I’m watching Footie from the US.
      And, I wish I could say different, but the Fox commentary, in the simplest terms, sucks big time. Their breathless uneducated excitable play by play commentary (especially John Strong’s) detracts to the point that this is not an enjoyable experience at all.

      My resolution is to watch the game on Telemundo (in Spanish) so I can appreciate the talent on display, and not suffer the distraction of terrible commentary, but still pick up on the vibe.

      If American Soccer wants to evolve, then the TV commentary needs to toned down from overly excitable (and partial) to more informative and educational.

      I’m so grateful that the Wall wasn’t built tall enough to not now allow Spanish commentary.

      16 votes
    7. Ask Manga Recommendation thread

      In the mood for a manga with certain themes but don't know where to look? Just finish a good one and need more like it? Want to know if a manga is worth reading? Looking for new manga to read can...

      In the mood for a manga with certain themes but don't know where to look? Just finish a good one and need more like it? Want to know if a manga is worth reading? Looking for new manga to read can be challenging so if you don't feel like making a full post, here's a thread for everyone to ask each others for recommendations.

      If there's any manga that you think everyone should read, feel free to recommend anyway. Don't let the lack of question stop you!

      Edit: You can also ask for anime recommendation here or share about your current watch/read here.

      21 votes
    8. Remnant 2 so far is great. Your thoughts?

      I've been playing through Remnant 2 and having a great time with it. I think they've hit on a great mix of combat and challenge. Plus I was pleasantly surprised to find that the writing,...

      I've been playing through Remnant 2 and having a great time with it. I think they've hit on a great mix of combat and challenge. Plus I was pleasantly surprised to find that the writing, especially for the lore, was quite engaging (the intro doesn't set a high bar tbh). Still in progress for the game, so no spoilers please, but what do you think?

      17 votes
    9. Advice on cataloging antique historic photos

      Hey all! (If this is the wrong place for this, please feel free to reassign) During the winter months I can't get out to do much photography, but I love darkroom printing. Last winter I started...

      Hey all!

      (If this is the wrong place for this, please feel free to reassign)

      During the winter months I can't get out to do much photography, but I love darkroom printing. Last winter I started buying antique photo negatives on ebay to have something to print.

      It's been amazing! Many are from the 20's, 30's and 40's, with one set (of glass plates) having been manufactured pre-20th century!

      I don't know how many I have, but it must be somewhere around 300-500 negatives. Currently they are stored in their original envelopes from the labs that developed them nearly 90 years ago, but that's not a good long term option. I love history, and I want to do this right, but I feel a bit overwhelmed with the volume.

      Data I'd like to keep track of:

      • The name of the person on the envelope the negative came from
      • The date on the envelope
      • The approximate date taken (if known)
      • Ideally the specific envelope it came from

      I'm going to try and store these in a binder of some sort, though that presents it's own challenges since it won't be possible to find sheets with sleeves that are the right size for the negatives. But that's a problem for me to solve haha. I've never had to index/catalog physical media before, so I'm pretty clueless on where to start.

      More than anything it's really important to me to preserve this history in a safe way. For many of the people these pictures may be the only trace on earth that they ever existed, and I want to respect that.

      9 votes
    10. Are you currently learning a new language? Are there any languages that are on your wishlist to learn?

      I grew up semi-bilingual (English as my native language, Spanish spoken at least once a day at home), and went on to study Spanish as my language of choice in middle and high school. Despite this,...

      I grew up semi-bilingual (English as my native language, Spanish spoken at least once a day at home), and went on to study Spanish as my language of choice in middle and high school. Despite this, I would still like to further my Spanish language skills/knowledge with some self-paced coursework, as the Spanish I grew up hearing in the house was much more colloquial and then the Spanish I studied in school was the "from Spain" Spanish, rather than the Central American Spanish my family spoke. I grew up being better able to understand more than what I could speak or write myself.

      When I moved onto to college, I wanted to try studying a different language, so I chose French (bad idea; I could never really get the hang of it between the spelling challenges and the pronunciation being so different from the written word). I took one semester and passed just enough to get credit for the class but moved onto to German -- which was a little bit easier than French but more difficult than Spanish. Beginner classes in it were easy for me to learn, but I started to struggle when I got to upper-intermediate. Plus, I'm not always great at spelling in English, and French and German are not "speller-friendly" languages haha.

      Now as I approach my midlife, I am thoroughly enjoying my ASL for Beginners course through my local community college. I find it incredibly intuitive whenever I learn new signs ("oh, that makes sense, cool" when I see a new sign). My mother-in-law has known and taught ASL (as well as SEE) for over 20 years so she is very helpful with me practicing and being able to correct any small mistakes I make. I don't know anyone who is Deaf, but have had a few friends growing up who used hearing aids (I don't think they knew ASL).

      So what about you? Are you currently learning a new language? If so, what is it, how do you like it so far, and what led you to want to learn it? If not, are there any languages on your wishlist that you'd like to learn someday?

      For me, I wanted to learn ASL as a way to connect more deeply with my MIL in our relationship, as well as have some level of ability to sign with those who are Deaf/deaf. I also wanted to learn it because I wanted an alternative way to communicate with my spouse if we are at a noisy event/party/etc. without having to shout to be heard.

      41 votes
    11. What do you think about how women are depicted in "The Book of the New Sun" by Gene Wolfe?

      It's one of those highly praised series that I've been waiting to read for years. When I finally did (I bought the full set of used and slightly wearied paper books), I bounced off quick. I tried...

      It's one of those highly praised series that I've been waiting to read for years. When I finally did (I bought the full set of used and slightly wearied paper books), I bounced off quick. I tried reading it in 2019, so my memory of that book ("The Shadow of the Torturer") is foggy, but I wrote down some notes at the time.

      I dropped the book somewhere around the Botanical Gardens, mostly because of very annoying female characters, all of whom were the protagonists so-called love interests. It seemed like every attractive woman he met would fall for him and it was so unnatural. I don't even have a problem with the idea per se, for example I'm buying into how macho-men are getting women in Wilbur Smith's adventure books because it feels organic, in Wolfe's book it was like a teenage boy fantasy.

      I don't actually remember it well, but here's an excerpt from what I noted at the time:

      I don't understand Severian's actions - he is challenged to a duel using the flower of vengeance - neither he nor the reader knows what's going on. At the same time, he is tasked with reaching Thrax and assuming the position of local executioner there. He interrupts his journey and decides to take up the challenge, of course, with a girl he has just met in some inn. He is convicted and instead of serving his sentence, he engages in some foolishness. I wanted the girl to disappear from the pages of the novel. Then a second woman appears and I feel that there will also be something between her and Severian.

      The Polish edition which I read is 326 pages long, I dropped off at page 245, I just couldn't bear it anymore. I occasionally see those books, either on my shelf (I have not given them away) or in stores and keep thinking that maybe I misunderstood it or didn't see their greatness and wondering if it would click if I tried again.

      Maybe it is just me?

      14 votes
    12. AI art challenge - how mental is your mind?

      AI is the best and worst thing that's happened, apparently. It's also pretty hilarious. With the right sentence fed to it, there can be some really unique images created. This post is to challenge...

      AI is the best and worst thing that's happened, apparently. It's also pretty hilarious. With the right sentence fed to it, there can be some really unique images created.

      This post is to challenge people to get AI Artsy with the whackiest thing they can think of to ask AI to generate. I'm simply using Bing Chat which uses DALL-E to create. All you need to do is post the sentence you used to generate and a link to the image, like this:

      A goldfish riding a jet ski under a bridge doing an epic jump from a wave

      If you need a different free AI Art generator, have a look at https://www.craiyon.com/. If you want to add why you came up with the image, go for it. My mind just works in mysterious ways so I have no idea why I asked this. Probably the same reason I asked it to generate a hotdog paragliding over the Alps...

      Enjoy the silliness and fun, with a hint of AI art at the same time.

      17 votes
    13. Any experience with making a board game?

      My friend and I embarked upon a journey over the past few months to create a tabletop board game. The interesting part is that we were motivated by the emergence of generative AI and the...

      My friend and I embarked upon a journey over the past few months to create a tabletop board game. The interesting part is that we were motivated by the emergence of generative AI and the capabilities it had in rapid prototyping concepts. On a whim we said, let's see how far we can push making a board game. We pushed Midjourney, ChatGPT, and a variety of creative tools to help build the foundation for our game. We both have design chops and are into diy, creative design, and 3d printing, and technology to help get this thing past the finish line.

      We are now at the point were after many iterative sessions, we have a functional and fun to play game! Our intention is to give it away as a free downloadable that folks can 3d print and paper print all the parts so they can play too! Huzzah! We are balancing the rules and creating the instructions which is not something we are relying on AI aside sticking to the theme. We are in search of inspirato on what makes gameplay fun for folks today.

      Question What are the most fun, exciting, or challenging aspects of any tabletop or board games you play? What keeps you engaged?

      EDIT
      I didn't give many specifics on the game itself, and figured it might help. Remember we used AI to come up with this storyline. The prompt was to write a story for a "Sci-fi Christmas Horror" board game...

      The basic premise is that you are attending a party at the North pole celebrating the research of Dr. Frost on ancient Christmas magic. Predictably things go bad, and you have to find your way out before it's too late and you are killed by a troop of Christmas themed monsters.

      The games objective is to work together to escape the facility by collecting sleigh parts, fighting monsters, navigating a maze in dark hallways, and visiting special rooms to solve puzzles. It's all kinds of ridiculous but fun it its own way.

      12 votes
    14. What game is your current addiction?

      Pretty much the title. We all play all sorts of games, and they generally are all good games. However, every once in a while you start a game that just hits the right notes and you hate putting...

      Pretty much the title. We all play all sorts of games, and they generally are all good games. However, every once in a while you start a game that just hits the right notes and you hate putting your controller or device down, and you can't stop thinking about things you want to do when you get back in front of that game. I figure we could post up our current addicting games so others can search them out as well :)

      My current addiction is Frostpunk. Got it on a whim from the Steam Summer sale, and my Lord am I addicted. It's a really good (to me) post civilization survival game where you try to establish and rebuild life with a new world around you. Surprisingly challenging and the scenarios are very fun. I bought it 2 weeks ago and have 63 hours into it.

      73 votes
    15. US states scrutinize the amount of charity spending from nonprofit hospitals in light of high salaries and large tax breaks

      https://kffhealthnews.org/news/article/nonprofit-hospitals-tax-breaks-community-benefit/ POTTSTOWN, Pa. — The public school system here had to scramble in 2018 when the local hospital, newly...

      https://kffhealthnews.org/news/article/nonprofit-hospitals-tax-breaks-community-benefit/

      POTTSTOWN, Pa. — The public school system here had to scramble in 2018 when the local hospital, newly purchased, was converted to a tax-exempt nonprofit entity.

      The takeover by Tower Health meant the 219-bed Pottstown Hospital no longer had to pay federal and state taxes. It also no longer had to pay local property taxes, taking away more than $900,000 a year from the already underfunded Pottstown School District, school officials said.

      The district, about an hour’s drive from Philadelphia, had no choice but to trim expenses. It cut teacher aide positions and eliminated middle school foreign language classes.

      “We have less curriculum, less coaches, less transportation,” said Superintendent Stephen Rodriguez.

      The school system appealed Pottstown Hospital’s new nonprofit status, and earlier this year a state court struck down the facility’s property tax break. It cited the “eye-popping” compensation for multiple Tower Health executives as contrary to how Pennsylvania law defines a charity.

      The court decision, which Tower Health is appealing, stunned the nonprofit hospital industry, which includes roughly 3,000 nongovernment tax-exempt hospitals nationwide.

      “The ruling sent a warning shot to all nonprofit hospitals, highlighting that their state and local tax exemptions, which are often greater than their federal income tax exemptions, can be challenged by state and local courts,” said Ge Bai, a health policy expert at Johns Hopkins University.

      The Pottstown case reflects the growing scrutiny of how much the nation’s nonprofit hospitals spend — and on what — to justify billions in state and federal tax breaks. In exchange for these savings, hospitals are supposed to provide community benefits, like care for those who can’t afford it and free health screenings.

      More than a dozen states have considered or passed legislation to better define charity care, to increase transparency about the benefits hospitals provide, or, in some cases, to set minimum financial thresholds for charitable help to their communities.

      The growing interest in how tax-exempt hospitals operate — from lawmakers, the public, and the media — has coincided with a stubborn increase in consumers’ medical debt. KFF Health News reported last year that more than 100 million Americans are saddled with medical bills they can’t pay, and has documented aggressive bill-collection practices by hospitals, many of them nonprofits.

      (article continues)

      15 votes
    16. Modern men: A summary of Tildes community discussion

      The other day I created a post here to evoke discussion around what kind of topics, and community norms we might consider. I offered up initial thoughts to spark conversation and there were a lot...

      The other day I created a post here to evoke discussion around what kind of topics, and community norms we might consider. I offered up initial thoughts to spark conversation and there were a lot of people offerings deep insights. I spent the past few days learning from everyone and reading through comments. I tried to capture the high level take aways in a summary and added it as an edit to my original post. Here is a link to the full thread.

      It was suggested I post that summary as a new topic for better visibility and so that's the intention of this new post. This is only the foundation of what we could consider as we evolve the discussions, and it helps surface the initial thoughts and perspectives we have collectively shared.


      It's encouraging to see such in-depth and thoughtful conversations on ~life.men. I wanted to take a moment to recap the significant themes I read up to this point. This is high level, so please correct me if I got it wrong, and I may have missed something valuable that needs called out.

      Our discussions around Stoicism have been quite enlightening, and we've recognized its potential to encourage self-control and inner resilience. Nevertheless, we've also acknowledged its potential misuse, which might inadvertently promote unhealthy aspects of masculinity. This is a subject that requires more nuanced exploration.

      We've unanimously expressed the need for a supportive environment for men of all identities. This includes cis, gay, trans, and men of all other identifications. Despite potential challenges such as toxicity and inactivity, many believe this forum can serve as a respectful and positive space to engage in discussions about contemporary masculinity.

      Conversations have emphasized challenging traditional gender norms and fostering inclusivity. There's been a strong consensus against defining masculinity by outdated stereotypes. We've expressed a shared commitment to creating an environment welcoming everyone, regardless of gender identity. We also acknowledge the role of diverse geographical and cultural backgrounds in shaping our understanding of gender, which we deeply value.

      The topic of men's role in promoting gender equality has been prominent. We agree on the importance of men as allies in this movement. Tackling the rigid roles defined by patriarchal norms is crucial, as is having open and transparent conversations on these issues. Progress in gender equality benefits everyone - it's not a zero-sum game.

      We've also delved into gender norms, roles, and the usage of gendered language. It's been helpful to see such scrutiny of societal expectations and a strong emphasis on promoting universally beneficial values and inclusivity. There's a shared understanding of the complexity of gendered language and how it can both define personal identity and represent broader affiliations.

      We've explored varied experiences in male-specific spaces. From the importance of representing all demographics to discussing the challenges of modern fatherhood, we've covered extensive territory. There's a shared commitment to guard against potential toxicity and ensure balance in all our discussions.

      We have expressed the importance of focused discussions on men's experiences. Challenging assumptions about masculinity and addressing men's issues from multiple perspectives can impact our society.

      I'm new to Tildes and not sure where to go from here. Given all the valuable insights and themes we've gathered, how can we adopt draft guidelines for our community? I suspect we can see how this develops organically, but I appreciate approaching things intentionally. Thanks for all the comments and discussions. It has me thinking much more broadly and about things I hadn't considered.

      EDIT
      I received early feedback that "guidelines" may be the wrong ask here. The thought was to be intentional and surface a "purpose" for having a men group. Being new to Tildes, I'll defer to community as to what's the right way to move forward. Regardless, I appreciate the conversations and discourse that Tildes brings.

      26 votes
    17. Modern men: Navigating life, relationships, and self-identity

      The idea of what it means to be a man has evolved significantly over the last century. We can build a fresh perspective on understanding masculinity beyond the stereotypical confines of strength,...

      The idea of what it means to be a man has evolved significantly over the last century. We can build a fresh perspective on understanding masculinity beyond the stereotypical confines of strength, stoicism, and dominance. I appreciate Deimos trying out new groups and allowing topics to flourish. I could see this group having healthy discussions about the diverse experiences and expectations of men in today's society.

      I envision topics on personal anecdotes, insights, and questions. I wanted to list out a few possibilities for future discussions that are top of mind.

      1. The changing roles and responsibilities of men in personal and professional life.
      2. The impact of societal norms and expectations on men's mental health.
      3. Embracing vulnerability and emotional openness.
      4. Men's role in promoting gender equality and mutual respect.
      5. The significance of self-care and well-being in men's life.
      6. How men can effectively communicate their emotions, needs, and concerns.
      7. Relationships, expectations, and stereotypes

      While not comprehensive, it's a start of areas we may consider. What are your thoughts on what this group could be?


      EDIT - Grammar and Summary 7/9/2023 @3 pm mountain

      Hello, everyone. It's encouraging to see such in-depth and thoughtful conversations on ~life.men. I wanted to take a moment to recap the significant themes I read up to this point. This is high level, so please correct me if I got it wrong.

      Our discussions around Stoicism have been quite enlightening, and we've recognized its potential to encourage self-control and inner resilience. Nevertheless, we've also acknowledged its potential misuse, which might inadvertently promote unhealthy aspects of masculinity. This is a subject that requires more nuanced exploration.

      We've unanimously expressed the need for a supportive environment for men of all identities. This includes cis, gay, trans, and men of all other identifications. Despite potential challenges such as toxicity and inactivity, many believe this forum can serve as a respectful and positive space to engage in discussions about contemporary masculinity.

      Conversations have emphasized challenging traditional gender norms and fostering inclusivity. There's been a strong consensus against defining masculinity by outdated stereotypes. We've expressed a shared commitment to creating an environment welcoming everyone, regardless of gender identity. We also acknowledge the role of diverse geographical and cultural backgrounds in shaping our understanding of gender, which we deeply value.

      The topic of men's role in promoting gender equality has been prominent. We agree on the importance of men as allies in this movement. Tackling the rigid roles defined by patriarchal norms is crucial, as is having open and transparent conversations on these issues. Progress in gender equality benefits everyone - it's not a zero-sum game.

      We've also delved into gender norms, roles, and the usage of gendered language. It's been encouraging to see such scrutiny of societal expectations and a strong emphasis on promoting universally beneficial values and inclusivity. There's a shared understanding of the complexity of gendered language and how it can both define personal identity and represent broader affiliations.

      We've explored varied experiences in male-specific spaces. From the importance of representing all demographics to discussing the challenges of modern fatherhood, we've covered extensive territory. There's a shared commitment to guard against potential toxicity and ensure balance in all our discussions.

      We have expressed the importance of focused discussions on men's experiences. Challenging assumptions about masculinity and addressing men's issues from multiple perspectives can impact our society.

      I'm new to Tildes and not sure where to go from here. Given all the valuable insights and themes we've gathered, how can we adopt draft guidelines for our community? I suspect we can see how this develops organically, but I appreciate approaching things intentionally. Thanks for all the comments and discussions. It has me thinking much more broadly!

      83 votes
    18. Strategies to manage ADHD

      I figured I would help kick off this new subgroup by starting a discussion on how people with ADHD try to manage it. I had a late diagnosis a couple years ago as an adult, and I have been working...

      I figured I would help kick off this new subgroup by starting a discussion on how people with ADHD try to manage it.

      I had a late diagnosis a couple years ago as an adult, and I have been working with a counselor to develop some behavioral techniques (in addition to medication). Not all of them stick, which in my experiences is the primary challenge of this disorder, but I've had good results when I do use them.

      Primarily, I have a calendar where I put reminders and plan things out. If I have parts of a project I need to get done, I lay those out and assign them to certain days of the week. Working in academia, I live my life a semester at a time and this helps me reevaluate certain goals and it feels reasonable to me to plan out a few months at a time.

      One thing I struggle with when it comes to planning is coming up with accurate estimates of how much time it might take to spend something. This was always a big obstacle in my way when it came to planning things out before - I wanted to know the exact time on how long it took to do something so that my schedule would be perfect. My counselor suggested that I come up with an initial estimate of how long something should take based off my intuition, and then double it (e.g. if I think a task should take 30 minutes, plot it out for 60 minutes of my day). This has been great for me because usually it's a win-win. Often, my initial assessment is underestimating how long something takes, so by accounting for slippage in time I can better chunk out my day. On the other hand, if I do get it done sooner I can pat myself on the back and I now have extra time in the day to get other things done.

      I wanna find better ways of trying to stay on track with habits. I've tried some different apps and none are working too well. Recently I picked up Sunsama which has helped in terms of reviewing the day and looking at subtasks, but as I've gotten busy with experiments I've kind of lost track of that. What are some things that you do to accommodate the way your brains works?

      61 votes
    19. Star Trek: Strange New Worlds S02E04 - "Among the Lotus Eaters" Episode Discussion

      The first three episodes didn't quite hit the mark for me, but this felt like proper TOS style Star Trek. Starfleet messing up the Prime Directive. A villain who is actually a victim. Spock is...

      The first three episodes didn't quite hit the mark for me, but this felt like proper TOS style Star Trek.

      Starfleet messing up the Prime Directive. A villain who is actually a victim. Spock is challenged on feelings versus logic. The overall theme of exploring the importance of personal memories and the straight forward metaphor of fascist regime controlling the people, didn't feel as hamfisted as I have found some of the other newer trek episodes. It does stand on its own as a well rounded singular trek story. I do however still have a bit of a problem with how newer trek seems to like hand to hand combat violence so much. Feels unnecessary in most cases.

      23 votes