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    1. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      10 votes
    2. Who are some of your local musicians that are really cool, but are relatively unknown to the world?

      So recently YouTube recommended to me this young man. His dance moves captivated me and some of the songs got stuck in my head even though I don't speak a word of Icelandic. Later I found out that...

      So recently YouTube recommended to me this young man. His dance moves captivated me and some of the songs got stuck in my head even though I don't speak a word of Icelandic. Later I found out that Daði Freyr was in the contest for Eurovision, so I guess that's why YouTube recommended him.

      My question is this: if you're from a non-English speaking country, what are some of the cool musicians would you like to share with the world?

      I'll start by mentioning Theodor Bastard. You might have heard them if you played Pathologic 2, personally I adore steppe version of Darkness from the OST
      I'd like to also mention Nautilus Pompilius. They have been disbanded for a long time now, their lead lyrics writer had died and their front man does not deserve much respect now, but Летучий Фрегат (Flying Frigate) from the first album still gets me every time, even though it's not very good technically. I'll throw in Крылья (Wings) too

      11 votes
    3. What are your favorite and least favorite gaming tropes?

      Exploding barrels, invisible walls, cutscene deaths -- gaming has a whole host of tropes that range from loveable to hateable. Which are the ones you most like, and which are the ones you most...

      Exploding barrels, invisible walls, cutscene deaths -- gaming has a whole host of tropes that range from loveable to hateable. Which are the ones you most like, and which are the ones you most dislike? Give examples of games that demonstrate these, and talk about how and why you feel the way that you do about them.

      For those that you like, what games have really elevated their use? For those that you dislike, which games are the most egregious offenders? Also, have any games played with the tropes and subverted them in interesting or meaningful ways?

      For the purposes of the question, these don't have to be tropes that only exist in gaming -- it's fine if there's crossover with other media.

      Also, please mark any spoilers!

      21 votes
    4. Best romantic movies?

      My Anniversary is coming up and I'd like to do a movie night for my wife. She likes romantic films but I don't so we don't often watch them together. I'd like to come up with 3 or 4 of the best...

      My Anniversary is coming up and I'd like to do a movie night for my wife. She likes romantic films but I don't so we don't often watch them together.

      I'd like to come up with 3 or 4 of the best romantic movies ever to watch together as a gift to her. Since I don't ever watch these kinds of movies I don't know what's objectively good.

      Thanks!

      Thanks to everyone who responded! There are so many great options that I'm going to make a list of all of them to draw from on other special occasions too!

      26 votes
    5. Good, fun, easy and cheap co-op games for a gamecircle

      We're trying to start a Gamecircle (kind of like a Bookcircle) with friends and accuintances and I'm looking for some good Games to start. It is a daunting task to be honest, as there will be some...

      We're trying to start a Gamecircle (kind of like a Bookcircle) with friends and accuintances and I'm looking for some good Games to start. It is a daunting task to be honest, as there will be some first time gamers taking part. And for me as a singleplayer for year (mostly factorio and some round and grand strategy games) I dont even know where to start looking.
      I'm looking for something like mario kart, which is easy to understand and fun for everybody to play, for the first months. Not cost more than 10$, be aviable through steam or gog or itch.io, preferably cross-platform (steam play works fine too).

      On another note, has someboy tried something like this? how did/does it work out? What would be your Advice?

      11 votes
    6. Questions about graphics card failures

      TL;DR: How long should a graphics card last? What can I do to make them last longer? This is perhaps an odd question to ask, but I've been a console gamer for most of my life and have only been...

      TL;DR: How long should a graphics card last? What can I do to make them last longer?

      This is perhaps an odd question to ask, but I've been a console gamer for most of my life and have only been all-in on PC gaming for maybe 1-2 years and I think I may be missing something.

      So there has been about three times when I have spent money on a half-decent graphics card, and each time they have failed me. The first one was a genuine hardware failure, probably a memory failure judging from the artifacting. The second one failed for reasons I have been unable to figure out. It didn't appear to be overheating, but I was getting driver errors that suggested it were; reinstalling from scratch did nothing to fix it.

      The last, most current one is the one that bugs me the most. I'm getting the same problems; driver crashes just like overheating, except this one has better temperature monitoring and I can see that isn't happening.

      I previously thought that the reason why my graphics cards would always crap out on me was because those were cheaper cards from less reputable manufacturers, but this last one is really bugging me because it's relatively high end and from a reputable manufacturer - it's a Gigabyte Radeon RX 5700, complete with the giant AMD reference cooler. I'm getting it RMAed, but since I didn't keep the receipt I am still going to have to pay to fix it even though it should theoretically be under warranty.

      I've done a ton of searching to find out how I can possibly solve this myself, but I am frankly astounded by how little information the drivers give out on Windows. I'm seeing that the device is being reported as unavailable but nothing whatsoever as to why.

      To make matters worse, it seems like this isn't actually common for other people. Most people seem to be replacing their graphics card because they are obsolete, not because they physically fail.

      So basically what I am asking is, how long is a graphics card actually supposed to last for? Do I just have astonishingly bad luck?

      10 votes
    7. Thinking of getting an HD antenna

      I wasn't sure if this should go in ~tech or ~tv. Feel free to move if it's more appropriate over there. I am planning to cut the cord soon and get rid of cable TV. I have an older TiVo Premiere...

      I wasn't sure if this should go in ~tech or ~tv. Feel free to move if it's more appropriate over there.

      I am planning to cut the cord soon and get rid of cable TV. I have an older TiVo Premiere that's rarely over 5% full. I'd like to get an indoor HDTV antenna to connect it to for those rare occasions when we want to watch something live, or record something off broadcast TV. I know next to nothing about HDTV antennas, though. I see that BestBuy carries them for prices from ~$20 to ~$120. I'd like one that works well and can be kept out of sight. (I've read some can even be painted over!) Does anyone have any recommendations or any things I should be aware of in getting one?

      8 votes
    8. What's the weather/climate like where you live?

      A pretty light-hearted/whimsical question. I'll start. Over here in São Paulo City temperatures range from anywhere from 10-30 degrees and the climate tends to be more rainy in the summer (the...

      A pretty light-hearted/whimsical question.

      I'll start.

      Over here in São Paulo City temperatures range from anywhere from 10-30 degrees and the climate tends to be more rainy in the summer (the end/beginning of the year as in the southern hemisphere, which makes stuff like christmas really odd) and less so in the winter, which often leads to pretty beautiful sunsets. Sometimes the rain comes with pretty heavy wind in what looks like a diet hurricane. The clouds are mostly cumulus in the summer. I don't think it has ever snown here.

      19 votes
    9. Weekly coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - week of May 25

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the...

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!

      7 votes
    10. Food Escapades & Curry Fridays ! Bon Appetit's Katsu Curry

      Hello hello people ! Hope you are all doing well today :) This week, I have prepared possibly the most complex dish I have in this whole curry thing I started at the beginning of the year ! (side...

      Hello hello people ! Hope you are all doing well today :) This week, I have prepared possibly the most complex dish I have in this whole curry thing I started at the beginning of the year ! (side note, it really has been 5 months I've been making a curry dish every friday huh? that's insane hahahah) A Katsu Curry completely by scratch ! The process started on Wednesday, where I had to make a broth with a few spices, beef stock and mushrooms ! It took me a while to find some shiitake mushrooms... they always come in huuuge portions and I only needed a little bit lol. Now I have a bunch of shiitake mushrooms lyin around and I dunno what to do with them ! I guess I'll see :P After making the broth I chilled it for 2 days until friday where I started the curry prep. Curry was quite a simple dish to make, but the fun part was making katsu to go with it. Definitely a combination of flavours that go real well together ! As for the curry, it's a weird tasting thing. It definitely tastes like curry, but almost tastes like it in a branded way, you know? It's like the taste of a generic "Curry" dish. From my understanding that was kind of the point, but still, find it rather odd.. not that it's any bad though ! You can't really go wrong with curry powder :P I found that curry with calrose rice is actually quite phenomenal... calrose has such a distinct texture that it's barely even replaceable with any type of rice. Delish ! Overall, I think everything melded in together quite well and made for a real good sensory experience. I do think I could've salted the curry a little more, but my parents said it was fine so I left it as is hahahah. Definitely recommend this one if you have the patience to make a broth a few days early !

      Picture of the dish: https://imgur.com/a/EwrKmqR
      Recipe: https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/katsu-curry
      Question of the day: What do you think is the best accompanying dish (i.e. crunchy bread, naan, rice...) ever? What do you usually have alongside your dishes?

      Have a great day and STAY SAFE ! <3
      Tomi, your friendly neighbourhood marshmallow~

      11 votes
    11. password, the typing game, is about to receive mobile support

      I've been working on the mobile version of password for a while now, mostly lending to the fact that much of the infrastructure of the game required expansion to accomodate for that. Plus, this...

      I've been working on the mobile version of password for a while now, mostly lending to the fact that much of the infrastructure of the game required expansion to accomodate for that. Plus, this sort of gameplay on mobile is a new territory for me, which makes it both worrisome and exciting.

      Long story short, you can preview the mobile gameplay of password with the same link:

      Play the game.

      The gameplay is different from the desktop version. Here, you have to tap the keys in the order of their number: 1, then 2, then 3, and so on until the last key. Tapping keys out of order (4, then 6) results in a foul, which takes away a bit of time. Tapping all keys in the correct order means you win the round and get awarded the score. Other instructions are on screen.

      It is NOT the final version. It's playable but contains some visual bugs. I'm gonna work on fixing those in the coming weeks. Right now, I'm looking for feedback:

      • How does the mobile gameplay feel?
      • How does the sizing of the score looks?
      • Are there any problems with swiping or tapping?
      • How does the timer bar look on smaller screens? (Think smaller than iPhone X.)
      • How does the timer look on devices that have a notch?
      • Does it load the correct version at all? (If you're on a mobile device – smartphones and tablets – you should not see keyboard references. If you do, it didn't load the correct version of gameplay.)

      Desktop gameplay has only received visual updates. You can still play it with the same link.

      Let me know if you encounter issues. You can post here, or you can open an issue in the GitHub repo. If you do, make sure to provide what information you can on the issue, like what sort of a device you're using (maker, model, OS version, browser etc.): this helps figure out the problem easier and quicker.

      I know of these issues so far, and am working on resolving them:

      • after pressing the last key of the order (8 right now), the red border flashes, as if you've received a foul (you don't)
      • score has to fully animate towards the final value before it resizes to fit the screen
      • swiping distance may or may not be too short, so it may feel as though it doesn't register
      16 votes
    12. Are there any datahoarders in here?

      Datahoarders are people who will keep an absurdly large amount of data on a number of large capacity hard drives. That data can be anything from 4K movies, family photos and recordings, archives,...

      Datahoarders are people who will keep an absurdly large amount of data on a number of large capacity hard drives. That data can be anything from 4K movies, family photos and recordings, archives, YouTube channels... anything really. I find this practice to be intriguing. Do you feel like this description may apply to yourself?

      If so, do tell us more about your endeavor: do you collect anything you can get your hands on or do you have a more specific aim? Do you share any of it? Do you have a particular setup? That could be hardware, software or some cloud subscription.

      28 votes
    13. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      13 votes
    14. What's the last piece of technology that truly impressed you?

      I recently got the Galaxy Fold and I am genuinely fascinated by it. A folding screen phone is just wild to me. It's a crazy concept and every time I pick up the Fold, I feel like I'm touching the...

      I recently got the Galaxy Fold and I am genuinely fascinated by it. A folding screen phone is just wild to me. It's a crazy concept and every time I pick up the Fold, I feel like I'm touching the future.

      It got me thinking about how technology is so ubiquitous nowadays that we take so much for granted. The fact that we have high speed Internet access from anywhere on earth was totally unthinkable 20 years ago, yet today it is a reality.

      So when is the last time you were truly impressed by a technology or technological breakthrough?

      33 votes
    15. A series of articles on the state of American democracy from early 2015 by Vox

      American democracy is doomed ('constitutional hardball' is a great way to describe the 'modus operandi' of the Trump-McConnell GOP.) This is how the American system of government will die I found...

      American democracy is doomed ('constitutional hardball' is a great way to describe the 'modus operandi' of the Trump-McConnell GOP.)

      This is how the American system of government will die

      I found their predictions to be kinda interesting (and clearly minimal)

      The best-case scenario is that we wind up with an elective dictator but retain peaceful transitions of power. This is where I'd place my bet. Pure parliamentary systems, especially unicameral ones, give high levels of power to the prime minister and his cabinet, and manage to have peaceful transitions nonetheless. The same is true in Brazil, where the presidency is considerably more powerful than it is in the US.

      But parliamentary systems also feature parties that are stronger than their leaders, which serve to prevent single individuals from garnering too much power. America's parties are getting more polarized, but they still aren't as strong as those of most other developed nations.

      The worst-case scenario is if the presidency attains these powers and someone elected to the office decides to use them to punish political enemies, interfere with elections, suppress dissent, and so forth. Retaining an independent enough judiciary is a guard against this, but only if norms around obeying its rulings are strong. And, unusually, America allows for true independents, undisciplined by their parties, to become heads of government.

      The US political system is not gonna collapse. It's gonna muddle though (A pretty interesting take. There are problems but people won't try to fix them but instead become disengaged and kinda forget about it.)

      I think one of the things the authors missed while writing these this is how news became partidarized in the same manner, thus allowing outlets like Fox News to just consume the Republican electorate. They also missed how voting has been targeted too, and underestimated how willing the public was to act and how would the public react to this, which was by electing someone who didn't care about said broken Congress (or any sort of constitutionality), which is what became of Trump.

      3 votes
    16. What was your "oh, they wanted more than coffee!" moment?

      In an episode of the TV show Seinfeld, a woman invites George Costanza for a cup of coffee in her apartment after a date. George rejects the offer, saying if he drank coffee that late he would...

      In an episode of the TV show Seinfeld, a woman invites George Costanza for a cup of coffee in her apartment after a date. George rejects the offer, saying if he drank coffee that late he would stay up all night. The woman leaves the car visibly underwhelmed. After a second, George realizes "coffee" meant "sex" and he just lost a great opportunity.

      Have you ever had a moment like that (not necessarily about romance), in which a silly misunderstanding led to the loss of an opportunity?

      22 votes
    17. Recommend me a book that _________

      Here's a fresh new thread for book recommendations! The last thread from a year ago got bumped and saw some new top-level activity but few votes or responses on the new requests. I think it's...

      Here's a fresh new thread for book recommendations! The last thread from a year ago got bumped and saw some new top-level activity but few votes or responses on the new requests. I think it's probably not visible in a lot of people's feeds due to its age, and I was planning on rebooting it anyway, so here's a fresh topic we can use for new recommendations that will be visible to all.


      Top level comments should fill in the blank with some sort of descriptor identifying a kind of book you would like suggestions for.

      Replies can then recommend books to that individual.

      Examples of what top level posts might be are below. Get as generic, specific, abstract, or out there as you want!

      • Recommend me a book that will make me cry.
      • Recommend me a book with a great twist.
      • Recommend me a book that deals with loss.
      • Recommend me a book about the fall of the Roman Empire.
      • Recommend me a book with a main character in her 80s.
      • Recommend me a book to help me learn PHP.

      Thread reading tip: use the "collapse replies" button to see only top-level requests.

      19 votes
    18. The case for an "Escalation" label for political threads

      This is a follow up to the thread from a few days ago, and specifically my comment in that thread regarding the use of a "Escalation" label. As many users identified in that topic, political...

      This is a follow up to the thread from a few days ago, and specifically my comment in that thread regarding the use of a "Escalation" label.

      As many users identified in that topic, political discussion on Tildes has the potential to become very heated, very quickly, and often the standards of discussion on these topics is below what we expect elsewhere on Tildes. In that thread, many suggestions were offered in order to remedy the situation, including banning overt political content entirely, more liberal moderation by @Deimos, more liberal usage by the community of labels, addition of new labels, and more. All of these solutions have their advantages and disadvantages, but I want to talk about the one I believe would be the most effective and least disruptive to the site as is: addition of new labels.

      Right now, there are two main tags that might be used on a comment that is seen as falling short of Tildes's standards: noise and malice. Users seem to have some variation in how they interpret how each tag should be used, but it seems like there is at least some agreement on the 'noise' tag being used for comments that are clearly low effort. Users seem to have more hesitation to use the 'Malice' tag, however. While it is sometimes clear when a comment is hostile or malicious, this is not always the case. Argumentative is not always hostile, and sometimes topics are naturally contentious. One takeaway from that thread (for me) is that labeling something as malice confers a judgement on intent, and users are not always comfortable doing this as it can be difficult to tell if someone truly meant to be malicious. But in political threads, the intent matters less than the effect a comment has in a discussion. Someone can not be acting maliciously, but still be clearly making the situation worse. This is the point of an 'Escalation' label.

      An "Escalation" label should be applied to comments that have made the situation worse.

      Furthermore, an "Escalation" label would not only affect the sorting of a comment or thread, but has the potential to halt the discussion if there is too much escalation in a short amount of time. Here is what I envision:

      Define the heat of a comment (as in, "ohhh this conversation is getting heated") as follows:

      H = k*n ∑ Ni / di

      where k is a tuning constant, n is the number of escalation tags given to the comment in question, and the sum ranges over the comment's direct ancestors and descendants in the thread with Ni being the number of "Escalation" labels given to the other comment and di is the distance from the current comment to that other comment. Here is an example thread:

      .
      ├── A
      ├── C0
      │   └── C1 (N=1)
      │      └── C2 (N=0)
      │          └── C3 (N=2)
      │               └── C4 (N=1)
      └── B0
          └── B1
      

      The heat of comment C3 would then be

      H = k*2 (1/2 + 1) = 3k

      Finally, define the heat H(T) of a thread T to be the sum of the heats of its comments. My proposal is that if the heat of a given thread surpasses some threshold value Hc, replies are locked in that thread only. This essentially shuts down extremely heated conversations before they get out of control and cause an entire topic to be locked.

      The above definition can obviously be modified, but it has a few good properties that I think should be retained.

      1. It takes into account the relative positions of comments. A thread that is 20 comments long that has a comment with 1 "Escalation" at the beginning, midpoint, and end is probably a better and more controlled situation than a thread with 3 "Escalation" labels in a row.
      2. One extremely heated comment (n is large) that generates many okay or slightly heated replies (n~1) is oftentimes just as bad as many comments that each escalate a bit (a long chain of comments, each with n~1).
      3. It considers a the whole thread as opposed to on a comment by comment basis. If there is only one person in a thread posting heated comments, even if the replies are measured and reasonable, there is a good chance that thread is not producing a worthwhile discussion. If that one problem user stays problematic too long, eventually the heat of the thread will surpass the threshold and the chain will be locked.

      I am sure there are disadvantages that I am not thinking of right now, but I truly think a system like this could be beneficial if implemented and used by Tildes. Furthermore, if two people are genuinely interested in the discussion and want it to continue, it is in their interest to avoid posting comments that get generate a high heat score so that the thread doesn't become locked. If they are not interested and keep escalating anyway, that conversation probably shouldn't continue.

      I am interested in your thoughts on this idea. However, I don't intend for this topic to become a repeat of many of the suggestions and comments in the thread linked at the beginning - I don't mean to reignite that discussion.

      31 votes
    19. Looking for hardware recommendations for Steam gaming on my TV

      Latest update here. Thanks to everyone who helped me out! I have an Nvidia Shield hooked up to my TV, and it's great for Android games and emulation. I'm looking for similar hardware that will...

      Latest update here. Thanks to everyone who helped me out!


      I have an Nvidia Shield hooked up to my TV, and it's great for Android games and emulation. I'm looking for similar hardware that will allow me to play my Steam library on the TV.1 It doesn't have to be as small as the Shield TV, but I'm not interested in having a giant tower hooked up in my living room. Basically, I want what those old Steam Machines promised before fizzling out.

      What I'm looking for:

      • Pre-configured
      • Able to support wireless controllers through Bluetooth
      • Able to play smaller, less demanding games flawlessly
      • Would be nice if it could play more demanding titles, but this is not a must
      • Has decent cooling (I'm worried that boxes not designed for gaming will get way too hot)
      • Price point: undetermined so far -- I'm willing to pay what I need to, but I want to see what's out there before committing to anything
      • Would like to be able to set it up to basically be a seamless "console" if possible, where I can boot right into Steam (or easily get there with a controller) and not have to use a keyboard and mouse (I do have a Steam controller but I would rather use an 8BitDo SN30 Pro+ as my primary input method)

      Searching around, here's what I've found so far:

      • The System 76 Meerkat is a mini PC that looks great (and I'm partial to the company), but I don't know how it would perform with gaming. Also, I haven't decided if I want the (small) amounts of friction that come with gaming on Linux on my TV or not.

      • Intel NUCs seems to be popular, and they have some gaming-focused models at higher price points.

      • The MSI Trident 3 is explicitly gaming-focused and has a dedicated cooling system. Might be overkill for what I need though?

      Here are my main questions:

      1. What other hardware options are out there that I don't know about?
      2. What hardware profile and price point should I be targeting for my needs? How little is too little, and how much is too much?
      3. Are there any pitfalls to this kind of setup that I'm not aware of?

      I'm open to any and all suggestions, as this kind of stuff is all a bit over my head so it's hard for me to even know what I'm looking for. I haven't even decided that this is definitely something I'm going to do yet, since there's such a wide range in price and performance. Instead what I'm trying to do is figure out what my needs are and then which models (if any) would fit them best.


      1: I do have a Steam Link and have tried the app, but the quality for me has been spotty enough that I would rather have native hardware playing them than trying to stream it from my laptop.

      7 votes
    20. Weekly coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - week of May 18

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the...

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!

      10 votes
    21. You are going to live in a rustic cabin in the mountains for four months. What do you bring?

      This is a scenario question similar to the "You are stranded on a deserted island, what do you bring?" question. The following guidelines I offer stem from my planning and experiences, I begin my...

      This is a scenario question similar to the "You are stranded on a deserted island, what do you bring?" question. The following guidelines I offer stem from my planning and experiences, I begin my 4 months shortly.

      • There is no electricity, no running water, no plumbing, no cell phone service nor internet service.
      • US Postal Service is available.
      • It is about 45 minutes away from the nearest town and is located on United States Forest Service owned land.
      • You will be sharing the cabin with several other like-minded people that you've never met before in a roommate dynamic.
      • The accommodations are free through the program.
      • This program runs a 9 days on, 5 days off work schedule. For the 9 days on, you will be camping along trails you are maintaining and not be at the cabin.
      • Basic food storage (coolers), a solar shower, washboards and tables will be provided.

      What do you bring? For functionality? To maintain comfort and/or sanity? Entertainment purposes? Keep in mind the point of this experience is to remove yourself from the grid, expose yourself to the rawness of nature and the elements. While it's tempting to say you'd bring a $10k solar/battery array, download all the things, and just host 5 day binge watching sessions with the bears, that's not the purpose. ;)

      16 votes
    22. What if you don't know if you want a child?

      Sorry for the huge train of thought, but I prefer it raw like this. We are dating for 3.5 years and the subject came up a couple of times. We both didn't want, but it was not set in stone. We just...

      Sorry for the huge train of thought, but I prefer it raw like this.

      We are dating for 3.5 years and the subject came up a couple of times. We both didn't want, but it was not set in stone. We just didn't want at that time.

      Three days ago she said she want one in the future. I don't, but I'm not sure.

      I asked jokingly if this is where we have to let each other go.

      What now?

      I have three nieces and I know the hard work and problems my two brothers are dealing with (two are teenagers).

      I don't want that, but at the same time i look at my youngest niece and she is so amazing.

      I can't figure out if i want this or not.

      I don't think we should have kids because she is obese and dealing with food and anxiety issues, and I deal with anxiety and alcohol issues.

      I would teach them a good relationship with food. I'm active, eat clean, i'm slim, fit, lift weights, but have the problem with alcohol which i try to manage, but not at all. I drink too much at least once every one or two weeks.

      My SO eats junk food, soda, sugar, everything. She is obese now. She wasn't when we started dating. Overweight, but not obese.
      She is now at risk of diabetes. I hate it and i'm resenting this to the point I lost attraction.

      It got to the point were i feel ashamed when I see her family eating a lot, which is all they do. Her brother was ok, now he is obese. His girlfriend turned obese.

      I know people say you need to break up because we are incompatible, but it doesn't work like this. We are good together in every other aspect. We treat each other with respect, we have hobbies in common, we are a good couple on the surface.

      If I break up, what reason I could give? It's not a matter of just telling "we are incompatible" after almost 4 years.

      I have no health issues when i checked with the doctor last year.

      We both made promises of solving these issues, but it's not happening.

      If we have a child, who teaches him about food, what to eat or not? What should we buy? And about alcohol?

      Gym and fitness. I adore. She does not. What example should we give to our kid?

      Alcohol. I drink a lot. She drinks, but only enough.

      How does this work?

      This is eating me alive...

      Edit: we don't live together and have jobs at different cities. In this pandemic we are at our homes, which is the same city, but once this pass we will live apart until one of us can transfer to live together.

      18 votes
    23. I'm looking for some manga recommendations!

      I love comics and graphic novels, but I haven't devoted a lot of time to manga despite it being in line with my interests. A lot of the stuff I come across seems aimed at younger audiences or is...

      I love comics and graphic novels, but I haven't devoted a lot of time to manga despite it being in line with my interests. A lot of the stuff I come across seems aimed at younger audiences or is highly romance-focused, neither of which really appeal to me. I'd love to get some good recommendations for manga that is more meant for adults (but is not "adult manga") or that just tells really good stories.

      To get a feel for what I might be interested in, here's a very limited list of what I've enjoyed so far:

      • My Brother's Husband was cute and resonant. I like nearly anything that tackles LGBT/queer issues.
      • I read a scanlation of Homunculus and enjoyed its oddness and artwork.
      • Ichi-F was really good too. I like non-fiction, which I realize is rare in manga.
      • Death Note, despite not being what I'm actively looking for, was a great page-turner.
      • Opus was a meta-manga that I enjoyed, despite probably not being able to appreciate it to its fullest given my lack of exposure to the form.

      EDIT: I added links in case anyone is unfamiliar with those titles. Also, I forgot to add that I'd prefer manga that are finished rather than ongoing, and I'd prefer ones that don't have a huge number of volumes, though neither of these are definite requirements -- just preferences.

      6 votes
    24. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      5 votes
    25. How to be a good contributor to Tildes?

      Recently, I have blocked both reddit and facebook on my computer and devices in order to combat the utter fatigue that engagement with those sites produces. I've always really enjoyed the...

      Recently, I have blocked both reddit and facebook on my computer and devices in order to combat the utter fatigue that engagement with those sites produces. I've always really enjoyed the atmosphere here at Tildes better than either site and have hoped (though I gather this is not currently the goal) that it would supplant reddit in the future.

      In order to get my news/discussion fix, I've begun submitting more content here than I have before. In the mornings, I go through my RSS feed, and pick out articles that I feel are interesting/would spark discussion here. I also try to conduct myself better here than I might on reddit, where JAQing off and bad faith argumentation are much more common.

      I don't want to flood Tildes with too much content, so I'm trying to submit fewer than 10 articles per day. What are some other tips for good etiquette here, particularly insofar as it differs from reddit? I know there is an FAQ about Tildes but I'd like to hear what the community thinks, too.

      Best,
      -gbbb

      25 votes
    26. Looking for resources to create a Wilderness Survival/Camping 101 syllabus

      Hi everyone, Recently I became interested in learning about wilderness survival for the first time since I was a Cub Scout. I like to camp, but I'm the type of person who pours a can of fire...

      Hi everyone,

      Recently I became interested in learning about wilderness survival for the first time since I was a Cub Scout. I like to camp, but I'm the type of person who pours a can of fire starter on the camp fire after setting it up tipi style and then goes around bragging about how good I am at fire-starting. (I would be completely lost without a lighter and starter fluid.) I am planning on taking a camping trip with a friend of mine who has a great deal of wilderness survival training after COVID-19 restrictions are loosened, and I would like to come prepared.

      I have found outlines for several course syllabi on wilderness survival, but not resources for each of them. Here are two examples below:

      Example 1

      Lesson I: Introduction

      Lesson II: The Psychology of Survival

      Lesson III: Introduction to wilderness survival planning

      Lesson IV: Fire

      Lesson V: Clothing

      Lesson VI: Shelters

      Lesson VII: Sustenance (Food and Water)

      Lesson VIII: Introduction to Signaling

      Lesson IX: Introduction to map and compass

      Lesson X: Survival Kits

      Example 2

      Lesson 1: Introduction to Wilderness Safety and Survival

      Lesson 2: Survival Essentials for the Wilderness

      Lesson 3: Selecting the Right Gear

      Lesson 4: Health and Safety

      Lesson 5: Treating Illness, Bites, and Stings in the Wilderness

      Lesson 6: Traumatic Injuries and Environmental Illnesses

      Lesson 7: Environmental Illnesses and Their Treatments

      Lesson 8: Understanding the Importance of Your Clothing

      Lesson 9: Procuring and Purifying Water

      Lesson 10: Food and Nourishment: Plants, Fruits, and Bugs

      Lesson 11: Food and Nourishment: Crustaceans, Birds, and Fish

      Lesson 12: Food and Nourishment: Tracking and Acquiring Mammals

      Lesson 13: Food and Nourishment: Preparing and Cooking Game

      Lesson 14: Navigation

      Lesson 15: Signaling

      I was hoping that perhaps some Tilderinos could help me out in filling in the blanks with resources for wilderness survival topics, or even some anecdotes about learning wilderness survival yourselves.

      Thanks for any help!
      -gbbb

      7 votes
    27. Games for "the flame"

      TL;DR: What do you do with your SO (if anything) to spark some fun? Do you have a go-to move, or game that gets interest going for some fun? A lot of us have been sheltering in place for some time...

      TL;DR: What do you do with your SO (if anything) to spark some fun? Do you have a go-to move, or game that gets interest going for some fun?

      A lot of us have been sheltering in place for some time now due to covid-19. What do you do to keep things from getting stale- to show effort, appreciation, and attraction for your significant other?

      I'm trying to keep things relatively fresh, but we don't have much space where we are. It takes, for example "naked billiards" off the table. I think they have a copy of "Twister" somewhere, so I might try to see if they're into a game night for some physical closeness. If you have a deck of cards, you can always do strip poker, but it might be a little underwhelming.

      Of course, it doesn't always have to be a competition either, back/foot rubs are always a well received from both sides in my experience. I'm also aware of a concept called "Chore-Play[*]" and I try to do what I can to make sure my SO never feels like they're pulling the weight for both of us.

      I obviously had a couple ideas, but I'm looking for some inspiration too! I'd like so have some things on the back-burner to whip out when the occasion calls for it, or when the time is right.

      PS: I'm not really sure what to expect for responses to this, I know it's a rather personal topic and sharing information like that can be uncomfortable for some. You don't have to share what you do in your relationship if you're not comfortable (obviously), but maybe you share a link of some cool ideas you found somewhere instead? IDK, let's get creative with it!

      [*]: With that being said, there is another definition of choreplay that I don't think is what we're after (collectively). I'm not talking about using sex as a bargaining chip for chores, which is what some perceive it as. I'm talking about taking the actions to make your partner feel like valued and appreciated half of the relationship. With those feelings of appreciation and care, comes romance and intimacy.

      14 votes
    28. Weekly coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - week of May 11

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the...

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!

      10 votes
    29. Food Escapades & Curry Fridays ! Ultimate Chicken Curry (Tamatar Murghi) from 'Indian Cooking Unfolded'

      So this week I made another serious eats curry (which I actually think comes from another cook book but whatever I found it on serious eats hahahah) and it was a pretty simple chicken curry with a...

      So this week I made another serious eats curry (which I actually think comes from another cook book but whatever I found it on serious eats hahahah) and it was a pretty simple chicken curry with a tomato and cream based sauce. It tastes a lot like a pseudo butter chicken made at home that I found to be quite great! Also, I might've accidentally made it a little more spicy than I imagined it would've been.. which to me is such a lovely accident! I've been liking spiciness in my food a lot more lately and I always feel underwhelmed by low hotness levels in my food.... So whenever I get to eat something super spicy it feels really great ! So, if you follow this recipe properly and make it a teeny bit spicier, I think you'll have a nice night :P overall quite the stellar recipe. I do believe it would go quite amazing with some naan which I didn't make ... So I'd recommend that too !!

      Picture of the dish: http://imgur.com/gallery/3rZxujG
      Recipe: https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2013/08/raghavan-iyer-ultimate-chicken-curry-from-indian-cooking-unfolded.html

      Question of the day: do you prefer your food spicy or not spicy?

      Have a great day and STAY SAFE ! <3
      Tomi, your friendly neighbourhood marshmallow~

      7 votes
    30. Has anyone had any new cooking adventures during the quarantine?

      I know it sounds like a weird question to ask, but I feel like everyone is much more likely to be cooking at home at the moment. I know that Bon Appetit gets a lot of love around here and there’s...

      I know it sounds like a weird question to ask, but I feel like everyone is much more likely to be cooking at home at the moment.
      I know that Bon Appetit gets a lot of love around here and there’s been a few times where I’ve just watched one of their videos and said, “That looks good...I should just make that for dinner tonight. I’ve got the time!” I did that a few days ago with their Lamb Dumpling recipe and it came out amazing.

      I’m currently using my leftover lamb and pork mixture to make a rice dish.

      I’ve also been working on perfecting my cast iron pizza cooking skills.

      10 votes
    31. A review of Andrew Lloyd Webber's 'By Jeeves'

      I watched the streamed version of 'By Jeeves' today. I have thoughts that I want to express. There’s a saying in show business: “If you have a good strong finish, they'll forgive anything.” (Well,...

      I watched the streamed version of 'By Jeeves' today. I have thoughts that I want to express.


      There’s a saying in show business: “If you have a good strong finish, they'll forgive anything.” (Well, maybe it’s only Rose in ‘Gypsy’ who says that, but it has wider applications.) This show was the opposite of that. I was going along with the badness of the adaptation, the absurdity of the plot, the silliness of the narrative framework, and the falseness of the characters – and then the ending came along and trumped everything else with its awfulness.

      For starters, the narrative framework was silly. Bertie Wooster is due to give a banjo recital at a local hall, but the banjo goes missing, so his valet Jeeves convinces Bertie to entertain the audience with a reminiscence. But rather than commit wholeheartedly to the story, Bertie and Jeeves keep popping out of it with references to bad props and lighting and music. At the times when the plot went along as normal, it was quite an enjoyable play, for what it was. Then Jeeves would appear with a car built from a sofa and some cardboard boxes, or a ladder going to nowhere, or a pig mask (more about that later), and destroy the mood. I wish the writer Alan Ayckbourn had committed to the plot, rather than framing it in this way. It felt silly. It set the wrong tone. P.G. Wodehouse’s Jeeves and Wooster stories are comedies of manners, not farces (although they often contain farcical elements). The comedy is subtle, not broad.

      On the matter of tone, I noticed a distinct lack of the 30s slang which gave the original stories their flavour. Bertie spoke generic upper-class English in this play, rather than the lingo of his time and his culture.

      With regard to the story, I’m not sure where this plot came from. I don’t pretend to have read all the Jeeves and Wooster stories, but I do have the book that the setting for this play comes from: ‘The Code of the Woosters’. The backdrop of Totleigh Towers and most of the characters in the play come from this novel. But the plot is nothing like the book. It has elements that are reminiscent of Wodehouse’s stories, such as characters pretending to be each other (which was too over-the-top in this play), and Bertie having to steal something to create a diversion, but the plot itself is an invention of Ayckbourn’s (I assume).

      The scene near the end of the play with the whole household running around chasing a man in a pig mask, while singing about hunting and implying that they think it’s a real pig, was jarring. The pig mask came from the framing narrative, where Bertie’s trying to give a banjo recital but has to tell a story instead. Jeeves is stage-managing the story-telling, and produces a pig mask that he found in the back of the theatre for Bertie to wear when he acts out breaking into Totleigh Towers and pretending to steal a bag of swag because… who cares. He wears the mask as a prop to tell the story. But, in the story that Bertie is telling, the other people see a man wearing a pig mask, and start talking about a chauvinist pig, a real pig, and hunting wild boar. If the pig mask came from the theatre, then it wasn’t used in the original fake burglary, so the people wouldn’t have seen a man wearing a mask, so they wouldn’t have been singing “It’s a Pig!”

      I get the feeling that Alan Ayckbourn didn’t really understand the source material, and wrote his own play, using some names from the original stories.

      As evidence of this, Bertie Wooster himself was wrong. He was far too competent and intelligent. Situations kept happening to him, rather than being caused by him. He’s not supposed to be a sensible man surrounded by useless people; he’s supposed to be one of those useless people, but lacking the self-awareness to see himself as such. He’s supposed to be just as useless as his friends Gussie Fink-Nottle and Bingo Little. But he didn’t feel like that in this play. (I also wonder if the actor playing him wasn’t a bit too old for the role. Bertie seems like a man in his mid-20s to early 30s, whereas the actor seemed about a decade older than this.) I may be influenced by the fact that I’ve recently started re-watching the ‘Jeeves and Wooster’ television series: I think Hugh Laurie [actor] and Clive Exton [writer] had a great take on the character of Bertie, while this play missed it entirely.

      Other wrong moments in the play include the song “Half a Moment” which was far too romantic and sincere for this play, and the song “It’s a Pig!” which added a tone of absurdity (as mentioned before). And the song “What Have You Got To Say, Jeeves” was totally misjudged. Bertie turns on Jeeves, and accuses him of incompetence. That’s out of character for Bertie; he always knew that Jeeves was the smart one.

      Ah, Jeeves. Poor Jeeves. He might be the title character in this play, but it doesn’t do him justice.

      For one thing, where are his sartorial judgements? A running joke in the stories is that Bertie wants to wear a particular item of clothing, Jeeves advises against it, and Bertie wears it anyway. After the action is over, and Jeeves saves the day, Bertie stops wearing the item. It’s an indirect way of him acknowledging Jeeves’ intelligence and apologising to Jeeves for not paying attention to his advice. That never got a mention in this play.

      Then we get to the ending. The denouement was wrong. So very very wrong.

      In the stories, Jeeves is subtle, even Machiavellian, in his manoeuvres. He solves problems by manipulating things and people quietly behind the scenes. He gets a letter delivered to the wrong person. He distracts someone with a new romantic interest. He plays on people’s character weaknesses. In this play, he spins a prop fountain to move Cyrus Budge into Bertie’s position. Not only does he break the fourth wall to implement his solution (in the story that Bertie is acting out, the fountain would have been real and not able to be spun), but that solution is very uncharacteristic of Jeeves.

      And that’s just the beginning of the bad ending. Suddenly, all three sets of star-crossed lovers couple up, without any resolution. They just... get together. They literally run across stage into each others' arms.

      And then… and then…

      … the replacement banjo arrives and the play goes totally off the rails.

      I have a feeling that Ayckbourn and Lloyd Webber thought they were creating the proverbial good strong finish, after which audiences would forgive them for butchering the Jeeves and Wooster stories. Instead, they were jumping up and down on the corpse of those stories.

      Jeeves gives Bertie a silent banjo and tricks him into thinking it’s playing music that everyone else can hear. Then Jeeves suggests a full chorus accompany Bertie – at which point the entire cast comes on stage wearing costumes from 'The Wizard of Oz'!

      This is just further evidence that Alan Ayckbourn and Andrew Lloyd Webber never really understood the nature of the material they were adapting. They put cheap laughs into a play that’s supposed to be a subtle satire on the wastrel upper class of the 1930s. Like I said before, the Jeeves and Wooster stories are a comedy of manners, rather than an open comedy. They’re subtle comedy, rather than broad comedy. You don’t laugh at a Wodehouse story, you smirk knowingly - or, at most, you chuckle quietly. And I don’t think the writers got that at all. They wrote this play to get laughs, rather than smirks.

      Also, the use of ‘The Wizard of Oz’ is anachronistic. The Jeeves and Wooster stories are set firmly in the milieu of the 1920s and 1930s. In the framing narrative, everyone in the hall listening to Bertie is dressed in the fashions of the 1930s. However, the ‘Wizard of Oz’ movie wasn’t released until 1939. Yes, the books were published 30-40 years earlier, but the costumes used in this play are from the movie versions of the Oz characters. As the most obvious example, one person comes out dressed as the Wicked Witch of the West, complete with green make-up on her face, but the Wicked Witch did not have green skin in the orginal book: that only came from the movie.

      The ending is a shambolic climax to a play that didn’t know where it was going to begin with.

      Two minor notes to finish up with:

      • Someone needed to tell the actor playing Cyrus Budge how to pronounce his dialogue. It’s “stomach UPset”, not “stomach upSET” (that is, “upset” used as a noun, not an adjective). And “incandescence” might originally have been a French word, but it’s not pronounced in the French style.

      • It was a joy to see the actor who plays Paula in ‘Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’ as Honoria Glossop in this. She managed to upstage Bertie in the one scene she had with him, and it was a delight to watch.

      6 votes
    32. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      7 votes
    33. Coronavirus isolation affects your brain — a neuroscientist explains how, and what to do about it

      Social media makes it possible for us socialise far and wide. Reach out to friends online, call your parents, and learn how to practice mindfulness or meditation. Head to the backyard for a dose...
      1. Social media makes it possible for us socialise far and wide. Reach out to friends online, call your parents, and learn how to practice mindfulness or meditation.

      2. Head to the backyard for a dose of nature, or if you're in an apartment with no nature to gaze at, be sure to get to a green space for your exercise.

      3. To help improve your sleep, try sticking to a routine and avoid screen time for at least an hour before bed. And lay off the alcohol – it reduces the quality of your sleep.

      4. Just 10 minutes of exercise may improve our attention for the following two to four hours, so if you're struggling to focus, get that blood pumping.

      5. Give your isolation brain a boost by laying off the high-sugar or high-fat treats. Have healthy snacks on hand instead, like fruit, vegetables and nuts.

      https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2020-05-08/neuroscience-of-isolation-coronavirus-pandemic/12200144

      6 votes
    34. Is it OK to use pop media reference for a personal domain name?

      I'm finally in a position in my life to afford a personal domain. The name I'd like to use is name of an episode from a moderately popular TV series. The series ended its run few years ago, but...

      I'm finally in a position in my life to afford a personal domain. The name I'd like to use is name of an episode from a moderately popular TV series. The series ended its run few years ago, but I'm not sure how copyright/trademarks work.

      So far, I'm planning a strictly noncommercial personal use only. Will the choice of domain name be any trouble down the road?

      9 votes
    35. LaTeX: Using a different font for glyphs used in commands like \sum

      Hello everyone. I consider myself fairly competent when it comes to my work with LaTeX, but as everyone who uses it knows, it is definetely strange sometimes. And right now I have a problem which...

      Hello everyone. I consider myself fairly competent when it comes to my work with LaTeX, but as everyone who uses it knows, it is definetely strange sometimes. And right now I have a problem which just irks me in the wrong ways:

      I use XeTeX and a number of custom fonts for my documents, but when writing mathematical formulas I found out that the font I set for Greek letters (Gentium Plus) is used for letter commands like \alpha, \Alpha, ... but not for commands like \sum, \prod. As you can see in this example here. You can see XeTeX defaults to Computer Modern.

      I've looked all over the net for solutions but I can't find one. I'm using mathspec, amsmath, amsfonts, amssymb as my font related packages and I set my fonts like this:

      \setmainfont{Charis SIL}
      \setsansfont{Helvetica Now Display}
      \setmonofont[Scale=MatchLowercase]{Fira Code Retina}
      \setmathfont(Digits,Latin){Charis SIL}
      \setmathfont(Greek){Gentium Plus}
      

      I feel like I'm going insane not solving this problem. Should you require it, my entire LaTeX template is here on Github. Please help, thank you.

      8 votes