From Wikipedia:

A cognitive bias is a systematic pattern of deviation from norm or rationality in judgment. Individuals create their own "subjective reality" from their perception of the input. An individual's construction of reality, not the objective input, may dictate their behavior in the world. Thus, cognitive biases may sometimes lead to perceptual distortion, inaccurate judgment, illogical interpretation, or what is broadly called irrationality.

For obvious reasons, it is much easier to identify biases in others than ourselves. Nevertheless, some of us went through practices (such as psychotherapy), experiences, and introspection that allowed us to put our biases in check. So, instead of scrutinizing the behavior of others (something that comes naturally to us, especially on the internet), here I ask you to exercise some self-criticism. What intellectual tendencies you have that obsessively repeat themselves in different contexts?

I should note that cognitive biases do not always lead to bad outcomes or falsehoods, as stated in Wikipedia:

Although it may seem like such misperceptions would be aberrations, biases can help humans find commonalities and shortcuts to assist in the navigation of common situations in life.[5]

On this thread, I am deliberately not asking about political bias or anything of the sort, including all the juicy controversial subjects surrounding it. Anything that often leads to uncivil discussion should be considered out of bounds.

For inspiration, look at this list (you don't need to identify a named bias, though... a subjective description of something you believe to be a form of bias is enough).

Dear Mods, due to the contentious nature of the subject, please feel free to act more aggressively on this topic than you currently do.

For the past month, I have been reading "The Wisdom of Psychopaths" by Kevin Dutton which delves into traits, behaviors, and motivations behind psychopaths. This book isn't just about serial killers but rather also the "successful" functional psychopaths such as stockbrokers, politicians, and business executives. You can read an excerpt from the book here if interested. A few interesting takeaways that I have had from the book so far are the innate cues that some people have on picking up on psychopathic cues. This is like speaking to someone and getting the heebie-jeebies from them for some reason. Apparently, women are more perceptive to this than men.

So, I'm curious if you have ever met a person that gave off that vibe, and what in particular gave you that vibe?

The IFSC is an international governing body for competitive climbing, recognised by the Olympic Committee. Sport climbing is now an Olympic sport. There are three disciplines: lead, boulder, and speed. In the Olympics the climbers will do all three disciplines.

In speed climbing there are two 15 meter tall walls with hand and footholds attached. The two walls are the same as each other. The layout is fixed -- the same layout is used for each competition. Two climbers race each other up the wall, and the winners go on to race each other up the wall.

Here's Wired with a useful introduction to speed climbing: Why it's almost impossible to climb 15 meters in 5 seconds I like this video because it gives a good "elevator pitch" introduction to the 3 disciplines, and then gives a good detailed intro to speed climbing. They talk about beta and some of the beta-breaks that have decreased the time taken to get up the wall.

Here's Albert Ok with a quite personal video about his training for speed climbing. I won't say more because I don't want to spoil it, but it's a nice description of training. 5 Lessons I learned speed climbing for 150+ hours

Here's Magnus Midtbø and Pete Whittaker having fun in a gym, challenging each other to a speed climbing dual. (The whole video is a fun watch - they both seem like nice, chill, people and they have good on screen chemistry with each other). I challenge Pete to a speed climbing dual

The most recent speed world cup was in Chamonix 2019. The next one (for speed and boulder) will be 28th - 30th May in Salt Lake City. The IFSC tend to live stream the events.

Over the past few months I've been questioning my gender identity, and so I've been doing what any good millennial does and trying to read up on what everyone else in my position did and does. I've found a few resources here and there, but I'd really like to read/watch/listen to more if I can. I'm looking for blogs, YouTube channels, podcasts, twitter users, and possibly even music... Anything created by non-cis people and which discusses their experience with figuring out their gender identity.
Hopefully my fellow Tilderen can recommend some good media to me? I'd also be glad and grateful to hear any personal stories from folks here as well, though I do know it can be a very personal thing so no sweat if you don't feel happy sharing.

This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!

I've been married for about 20 years. Our bedroom has been mostly dead for half of that. When I left to go take care of my mother, I didn't know if I would come back home. My husband and I like each other well enough, but we have each been in our own personally narrated relationship hell for too long. While I was away, we started writing each other letters, the distance seemed to let us "get it all out." We both seem committed to making the next 20 years better than the first. If there is any interest, I'm willing to chronicle our journey back from the brink of divorce, as well as answer any questions anyone might have. I'm the one with the lower sex drive, and with sex more tied to emotional intimacy than my partner. I like Tildes as my personal space and don't really want my husband to have an account, but I would let him use mine to speak his own words if that is something someone would want to hear. If there is no interest, I'll delete this topic in about a week, as I would find it a bit embarrassing in my history.

Edit: I would also be interested in hearing how other people worked through this if anyone would like to talk about it.

Note: this will be a noisy thread! If you would not like to see it in your feed, please use the ignore feature!

IMPORTANT UPDATE

This offer is no longer available. Thanks to those who participated!

Anyone here in the mood for a new Steam game this weekend?

Presumably you are, because you clicked this thread to read it! Welcome!

What is this?

It's a Steam game giveaway! I figured some of you might want a new game to play this weekend, and what's better than getting an awesome new game for free?!

What's the catch?

There isn't one! No gimmicks, and no strings attached!

How do I get my game?

Comment below with your choice, and I'll PM you the key. To keep the thread from being pure noise, I would also like you to, with your request, tell me about a favorite “hidden gem” game you’ve played. I love hearing about diamonds in the rough, so let me know about an underappreciated game you’ve loved (the more obscure/unknown the better).

Also, if you end up playing the game you get this weekend (you don’t have to — it’s a gift, not an obligation!), return to the thread to tell everyone about it!

Are there any restrictions?

Only one game per commenter please, but note that multiple people CAN request the same game! I will give out as many of each copy as is requested!

Why are you doing this?

My pageant answer is about doing something nice for an awesome community during some difficult times, but the real truth is that I've been drinking a bit, there’s a seriously good bundle on right now, and as I looked at the titles in it, it made me feel deep down in my bones the unshakeable sense that more people need to play Yoku's Island Express.

What's on offer?

Your choices are below. I haven't played all of these, but, based on the reviews, there's not a bad game in the bunch! There's also a wide amount of variety, so hopefully you can find something that speaks to your individual interests!

What do you recommend?

First of all, thank you for asking! That’s so thoughtful.

• Yoku's Island Express

MORE PEOPLE NEED TO PLAY THIS (thus sayeth the truth in my bones). The game is a delight. It's charming, novel, and very well-made. "Pinball metroidvania" isn't exactly a common genre or even one that makes sense on paper, but it's pulled off splendidly. It’s also thoroughly enjoyable even if you're a complete pinball novice like me. If in doubt about which game to pick, choose this one! If, after you play it, it turns out I’ve steered you wrong, you’re allowed to return to this thread and yell at me.

• Yooka-Laylee

I honestly think this is one of the most unfairly criticized games out there. I genuinely don't understand why so many people had very negative reactions to it. I don't normally finish games, but I full-on 100%ed this one! It has a couple of rough spots and edges, but on the whole I thought it was wonderful and deserved far better than the lukewarm-to-hostile response it got.

Can just ANYONE ask for a game?

Yes. PLEASE DO. Don’t wait around thinking someone else deserves it more or you don’t want to be a bother or you don’t want to put me out or you might not play it this weekend or you might look like a freeloader. I literally WANT to give this stuff away. Nothing would make me happier than to see this thread deluged with requests! If you're someone who might get enjoyment out of any of these games, then DO NOT HESITATE TO ASK FOR ONE!

IMPORTANT EDIT: I am handing out games even if I'm not responding in the thread to each individual request! I didn't want to keep bumping the thread myself with confirmations.

What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

So my girlfriend has this dog, a miniatura Schnauzer. He's 5 years old and in perfect health. For some reason, he fears even the slightest elevation. The dog is quite athletic but behaves as if he was much older. He does know how to get on things, like sofas that are not very high, but if we forget to "rescue" him he will literally never go down. Which is cute but also a bother. I wanna make him a bit braver and more independent. Any ideas?

Hello my lovelies,

I struggle with a moderate amount of anxiety and obsession with self-image, which tend to amalgamate as some kind of depression or other over time. At least I think they do. I've never really been sure if what I experience is actually depression, or if I'm just a Mopey Idiot, or if I have a more acute cognitive issue that I'm not aware of.

I keep very precise semi-quantitative logs of my mood and behavior every day, and they suggest to me that some of my stress is related to being a little overloaded. I'm working on cutting back on some of that responsibility. But it's also extremely obvious to me that, for quite some time—I think since about early October 2019—I've lacked the physical energy that typically allows me to be consistently happy. There was no one, singular "proximate cause" two years ago, certainly it was none of my actual obligations (at that time I had very little work to speak of). However, I nevertheless very distinctly remember that my energy was suddenly just sapped, and has not come back to the level it was at before. The best theory I have is that it might've been a mini-existential crisis triggered immediately by some books I'd been reading, with a background of relatively more social isolation than usual. There have been specific circumstances since then in which I can be high-energy (and I mean be, not just act like I am), but they are fleeting and rare. The overall background energy of my life has been different.

In short, I do not really have a solid anchor per se, even as I have many little mini-anchors. I have been floating around for a while as a result.

At least that has been my working theory for a little while. The persistence of my condition has led me to question whether that theory is useful, or whether there is something fundamentally wrong with my brain. I am Young and Naive so I simply do not know how to tell. The pandemic has made it much more challenging to figure out the root cause of my problems, because I cannot tell if they are just because I can't do the fun activities I like doing in the social environments I like doing them in, or something presumably biochemical.

Things that each help a little:

• Getting more sleep
• Getting more exercise
• Being good about meditating, or when my therapist is useful (rarely)
• Being successful (I have a job for the summer and a likely career after I graduate. Knock on wood)
• Being hot as fuck (I'm not that attractive, but I feel pretty after I exercise, or when I dress nice, or when people compliment my body)

Things that each help a lot:

• Having extremely attentive and caring friends
• Not being around people who constantly drain me
• Consuming certain substances

Specifically, the most non-low-energy I've felt in a long time was when I ate some funky little mushrooms with my friend this year. Specifically, after I snapped back to reality (mom's spaghetti). I was just more alert and more able to function properly. My brain operated at its normal capacity; words flowed freely from my mouth in a gorgeous array of sentences; positive banter was at an all-time high; I was positive and optimistic; and so on. You know how you can sort of visualize the ideas popping around and the gears turning when you're sober but just really on top of your social life? Well that's what it was. Unfortunately my ability to be a normal person only lasted like 1 or 2 days from there, and then it was back to the same old.

This has made me ask the question: might it be prudent to look into some sort of legal medical prescription that would have a similar effect? That is, anti-depressants or like whatever. I'm also open to alternative treatments but I am mainly asking about prescription meds. I just don't know anything about the whole world of medication. I almost never take meds for anything ever, even physical injuries, and I'm afraid that if I start doing medication I'll never be able to stop. The concept of always being medicated is a little scary to me. Like even if it helps, I'm still worried. But I kind of feel like nothing I've done so far has been able to permanently work, so I kind of need to do something.

I appreciate any thoughts that you can give!!!

xoxoxo
beezselzak

The OTB Open happened this past weekend in Stockton, California. I watch a lot of disc golf, and this was a particularly enjoyable tournament, so I thought I'd give an overview of the (free) footage available. MPO is the Men's and FPO is the women's.

DGN Final Day Coverage

Disc Golf Network streamed OTB Open Presented by Innova | Final Round which is about 6.5 hours of footage. I haven't watched it, but I know it was commentated by Ian Anderson who runs Central Coast Disc Golf (who is a great commentator) and Nate Doss, who is a great player, but I've never heard commentate. I don't have a particular recommendation on whether this is watchable or not - I haven't watched it, and don't really intend to, but included it for interest. It includes both MPO and FPO coverage.

MPO

Mic'd up Practice Round on JomezPro

JomezPro runs a practice round with 3 pro disc golfers - Jeremy "Big Jerm" Koling, Paul Ulibarri, and Nate Sexton. These three are the "main" commentators for JomezPro; they tend to be a bit goofy and are very endearing. They do a lot of good natured smack talk, and they try to break down the holes so you'll understand what you'll see professionals doing. Sometimes in commentary during the tournament, they'll also make some joking references to things that happened in the practice round, like a Fox peeing on one of Sexton's discs.

Front 9 | Back 9

Feature / Lead on JomezPro

Commentators: Jeremy Koling, Nate Sexton, Paul Ulibarri: "Big Sexy Barri Commentary"

Round 1 Feature Card: Front 9 | Back 9 - Paul McBeth, Calvin Heimburg, Ezra Aderhold, James Proctor. McBeth and Heimburg are both in the "1050 club" which is their player rating - they are 2 of only 4 players rated this high.

Round 2 Lead Card: Front 9 | Back 9 - Paul McBeth, Eagle McMahon, Ricky Wysocki, Nate Sexton. The other two players in the "1050 club" are McMahon and Wysocki; you will frequently see these 4 names on the lead card coverage.

Round 3 Lead Card: Front 9 | Back 9 - McMahon, Ricky Wysocki, Anthony Barela, Aaron Gossage. The final round features someone relatively unknown - Gossage - who has never been on a lead card at a high level event. Each of these guys are "bombers", ie. they can throw insanely far. There are a few times when the commentators are speechless, or just laugh at the insane throws. If you only watch one MPO round, watch this one.

Feature / Chase on Gatekeeper Media

Commentators: Brian Earhart, Nate Perkins

Round 1 Feature Card: Front 9 | Back 9 - Gregg Barsby, Eagle McMahon, Alex Russell, Austin Hoop. If you want to watch McMahon through the whole tournament you can start here.

Round 2 Chase Card: Front 9 | Back 9 - James Conrad, Aaron Gossage, Anthony Barela, Adam Hammes. I haven't watched this, but I'm going to guess that at some point Hammes makes a jump putt and his hat comes off. This has happened at least once every time I've ever watched him play.

FPO

Feature / Lead card on GK Pro

Commentators: Madison Walker & Erika Stinchcomb - "Two hot geese"

Round 1 Feature Card: Front 9 | Back 9 - Paige Pierce, Lisa Fajkus, Madison Walker, Ella Hansen. Paige Pierce is one of the best disc golfers of all time, and there's also Walker commentating her own round, which I always find interesting. Hansen is new to disc golf, being a former Ultimate superstar, and Fajkus has had a bunch of wins this season; this is a great card to watch.

Round 2 Lead Card: Front 9 | Back 9 - Jessica Weese, Paige Pierce, Lisa Fajkus, Catrina Allen. Allen and Weese are two names you'll also see a lot if you watch FPO coverage - they are frequently on the lead or chase cards. If you only watch one FPO round, watch this one. Eagles are rare in disc golf, and there is more than one in this round.

Round 3 Lead Card: Front 9 | Back 9 - Jessica Weese, Paige Pierce, Lisa Fajkus, Catrina Allen. There are lots of great women in this field, but it's a bit of a testament to how great this card did in Round 2 that each of these four remained in the lead.

This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!

Last time I owned an inkjet was well over a decade ago. I had a nice HP color laserjet that Just Worked™for almost a decade (and PS, I bought it used), and then I just lived w/o a printer for the past 3-4 years. Now, I'm window-shopping for inkjets, it sounds like the whole "use-our-ink-or-die" business model has only gotten worse.

Are there any good inkjet printers where I can just use it like a normal printer, just buy ink (cheaper than the printer was) when I need it, yada? Or should I just write off the entire industry (again), and go straight to the laser printers?

And does anyone actually have a decent (color, all-in-one) printer that works reasonably well with their (YourDistroHere) Linux machine?

Danke

ETA: Thanks for all the feedback. I'm now prioritizing a Brother laser (maybe just mono), or possibly an Epson Ecotank.

Side-note ... how cool is it that we have so many Linux-folk in our midst!?

Thanks again.

A few years ago I decided to ditch Gmail and started using Disroot as my e-mail provider. It was recommended by privacytools.io.

I realized that at least one e-mail I sent went to spam and now every time I send an e-mail I get paranoid if it will reach its destination. Is there a way to know if the e-mails I send are opened?

I've thought about switching to a more mainstream e-mail provider like ProtonMail but I already have so many accounts linked to Disroot that make switching dreadful. As a matter of fact I still have over 100 accounts that are using my Gmail address because it's so time intensive and not a priority to do the switch. Hopefully in the password-less future this kind of problem will cease to exist.

What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

I've suffered from depression and anxiety disorders for a while now. I take medication daily and I am seeing a therapist. However, I feel that I should know more about the disease. I think it would be useful for when I'm talking to my therapist and psychiatrist for example.

Recently I had a healthy debate with my therapist because she believes I am too young to be dependent on meds and that I should aim to get out of them long-term. I explained her that before I started taking drug mix that (kinda) works for me, I was falling into an abyss. I couldn't function, I couldn't be independent. And, with my current knowledge and experience, I think I will be a chronic user of medication.

So I got the impression (I might be wrong on this and we will discuss it more in the future) that my therapist believes in some kind of separation of the brain from the biological world. For example, if someone is diagnosed with a heart disease and starts taking meds, no one bats an eye. When it comes to psychiatric drugs people get concerned. I am skeptical of this double standard.

I also believe that the current umbrella of depression will be revised in the future. I think for some people it is caused by a life event but for others, the brain just isn't working well and we can't (yet) identify a source for the depression. My therapist doesn't like this theory. She thinks that it all comes down to your emotional and behavioral landscape, both in the present and in the past. Now, I know that the brain is a "special" organ because, unlike the heart, we use it to think and feel. So there is definitely SOME relationship between depression and what you feel and act, but I think that is a simplistic way of seeing things. I have done brain exams before and nothing was found. But did someone test my brain chemistry for example? No. So There is probably much more to learn with regards to the disease.

So I guess this was a long way of reaching my request: I am looking for up to date and thorough literature on depression, mostly on it's causes, treatments and current undergoing research. I want to be more informed so that I can better communicate with my caregivers. I want to know what the hell is wrong (at least, most likely) with me. I want to know that there is hope in current research.
This literature can be books, papers or another medium.

I would like to finish by saying that I like my therapist a lot and the objective of this post is not to bash her. It's about explaining the context for my request.

Thanks.

This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!

"Youth" by Glass Animals and "Yulia" by Wolf Parade simply gut me. They're not associated with anyone in my life; I'm just extremely susceptible to their emotional content. Got any music like that? Do you seek out the listening experiences for the catharsis?

What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

What is a "Screenless Day"?

Tildes "Screenless Day" is a simple event aimed at encouraging people to take a temporary step away from toxic or consuming aspects of technology and spend their time and energies elsewhere.

When is it?

It takes place over the weekend starting on the first Friday of each month. Participants will choose that Friday, Saturday, or Sunday to take as their screenless day -- whichever works best for their schedule.

Some people might not be able to participate in that window, and that's fine too. They can choose to shift their day earlier or later as needed. It is also completely fine (and encouraged!) to take personal screenless days separate from the event if you like. This thread will be posted the first weekend of each month, but it is open for comments the entire month.

Does it have to be truly "screenless"?

"Screenless" is an ideal, not a mandate. The spirit of the day is to deliberately step away from toxic or consuming aspects of technology, and what that means is different for each person. Thus, it is up to each participant to determine what "screenless" means to them. Some might only choose to not use social media for a day; some might choose to eliminate all "screens" but still use their ereader; some may maintain some screen use but only for necessity (e.g. work; classes; GPS; etc.). Some might get rid of screens entirely, or go fully "unplugged" for the day.

How do I participate?

You do not have to do anything formal at all to participate -- simply take your screenless day in whatever way is best for you! That said, I think it's more enjoyable and valuable to make this a shared experience, so the structured way to participate, for anyone interested, is as follows:

STEP ONE: Before you take your day, post a top-level comment in this thread detailing your plan for your screenless day.

Consider the following questions:

• Why do you want to take a screenless day?
• How are you personally defining "screenless"?
• What do you plan to do with your time?
• What do you hope to get out of it?

To have your plan stand out from normal conversation, please use the # markdown to title your post "[yourusername's] Screenless Day Plan"

STEP TWO: Take your screenless day.

• In the spirit of the event, you should probably not be reading or posting to this topic at all that day. To each their own, however. :)

STEP THREE: After it is over, return to the thread to reflect on your screenless day.

Post a response to your original comment in which you tell us all about your day.

• What did you do?
• How did it feel?
• Was it difficult? Easy?
• Did anything surprise you?
• Were there any unexpected challenges/breakthroughs?
• If you plan to do it again, what would you change? What would you keep the same?

To have your follow-up stand out from normal conversation, please use the # markdown to title your post "[yourusername's] Screenless Day Reflection"

Can I chat in this thread if I'm not participating?

Yes! The more, the merrier! Discussion from anyone, participant or non-participant alike, is welcome. Though, do understand that it might take a bit longer than normal for some people to respond. :)

Do you like them? Hate them? Don’t care about them? Take pride in them?

What do you consider good/bad achievements?

Do they affect how you play games?

Do you feel you have to get most/all of them?

What games have used them to novel effect?

Anything else you want to say about the topic is fair game as well. This is an open door for any discussion related to achievements.

(Also, how open are you to being dissuaded from it? I'm always open to new information, so if you're concerned about me embarrassing myself in public with these ideas, enlighten me, by all means.)

Two examples come to mind for me.

• Astrology. I don't think the positions of the stars have any actual bearing on people's destinies, but there are definite traits that seem common to the individual signs, across cultures and eras. Perhaps there's a natural cycle of some sort that affects our collective psychology or even biochemistry and we misattribute zodiac stereotypes because it happens to align with the celestial "movements"?

• Graphology. The notion that particular characteristics or tendencies could be expressed in something like handwriting doesn't sound unreasonable to me. Our minds physically express many things in our body language, and I could see how handwriting might essentially be an extension of that, or another translation.

Of course, this could just be self-selection and delusion, but these are likely complex issues and there's still quite a lot we do not understand.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my own attention lately, and I'm curious to hear others' thoughts. I don't want to prime the thread, but I'll probably type up some of my own considerations in a comment later.

Any and all comments/experiences are welcome, especially those from people with ADHD or other similar conditions that impact executive functioning.

• Are you happy with your ability to manage your attention and focus?
• Do you feel like you're in control of your attention? Is it something you have to manage?
• Do you feel as if anything has changed over time?
• How would you describe your attention/focus to someone who experiences theirs in a different way from you?

Those are simply guiding questions to get the ball rolling, but I don't want to limit the conversation to just them. Really I'm interested in hearing anything anyone is wanting to share about their relationship with attention and focus.

I'm on a binge of watching YouTube videos about Asian culture and wanna take it to the next level. Anything about the cultures of countries like Japan, both Koreas, China, etc. As long as it's high quality and available on the major streaming websites. Thanks!

This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!

2 years ago we planted a lime tree in our backyard. It was already about 5-6 feet tall when we planted it. There's a lemon tree next to it that is probably 50 years old and produces more fruit than we can use. We're constantly giving away lemons to our friends and neighbors, baking stuff with the ones we keep and we still too many left! But our lime tree barely produces anything. The first year it produced 3 limes, all of which were hard and almost juiceless. This year, so far it has produced a single fruit which doesn't yet look ripe. The thing is that it produces tons of buds that look like they're going to become limes, but they either die or are eaten by squirrels, I guess. I've heard a similar story from a coworker about her lime tree. Is there any secret to getting a lime tree to produce fruit?

I terminated my position over 4 months ago and I'm still not able to apply for jobs. I'm frustrated with my inability to move on from the previous toxic work environments. My background is in a male dominated field and there was always something either insensitive, sexist or racist said in all my previous workplaces. I feel, I know I'm going to be met with some sort of comment in my next work place and I no longer want to put myself in those situations anymore. I don't know how I'll react, I feel like I may explode if I hear another ignorant phrase.

I want to be able to make money. People say I must not have liked what I did very much if I wasn't able to put up with the comments. Other people say that that's just how the world is, "get used to it!" I've also heard that I'm just going to have to wait for change because drastic/fast pace change causes recoil. All of these comments literally tell me to suck it up and allow the same rhetoric to propagate. And, of course, all of this has been told to me by white men, those who aren't effected by the comments said to me.

Things that have happened to me or that were said to me:

• Smile more
• I'm too soft spoken/nice
• I'm too aggressive
• "Do you want to fix your hair?"
• A project manager bought me hair product, I didn't ask. I have curly hair and it took me a long time to love my curls, but it's seen as "unprofessional"
• A Director was staring at my hair throughout an entire interview
• "I'll put you up there" when the males were talking about strip clubs
• "Why are women crazy?"
• I've been kissed on my face and told "if only I met you before my wife"... never had a fucking conversation outside work with this person. I didn't even speak to him more than once a week!
• "We were surprised that you and Mohammad spoke English". Both me and Mohammad were born and raised in the United States. When I responded with "Why did you guys think that?" they conveniently stumbled and changed the subject.
  ... Many more things happened, but require too much context.

I just don't get it. Am I suppose to let ALL these things slide? Am I suppose to hold empathy for people who don't have empathy for me? Who don't empathize with me and how what they have said may have made me feel? Should I forgive people who would rather hide the fact that they said something rather than apologize? (And yes, I filed reports for some of these comments/experiences and the rhetoric was "She got X fired", not "X's own behavior got them fired".)

And more importantly, how do I move on from this knowing that it's going to happen again? The last job had the most amount of sexism in it. The thing about sexism (and racism) is that it's meant to make you feel devalued, and shocker, I felt devalued. It took me so long to gain my self confidence back. And I want so badly to protect myself. I never want to feel those feelings again. But the world is still sexist and racist and homophobic and xenophobic... all the phobics. And how do I tell my next work place that the reason why I left and why I took a break from working was to deal with the emotional repercussions from a very toxic/sexist work environment (when workplaces see whistle blowers as a red flag)? And how to I prepare my little sister who is in college studying a male dominated field knowing that she'll have to deal with the same things I went through?

It's been 4 months and I'm still angry and still jobless. I've grown to hate social interactions for fear of someone saying some ignorant shit. I've grown a distrust of all people. I hate how much this thing has affected me, how belittled I feel and how I can't move on from this. I feel emotionally paralyzed and money is running out and jobs are hard to come by especially because I'm not white nor am I a male and my hair isn't straight Billie Holiday - I Love My Man.

I'm tired of confusing people with how my looks don't match my attitude/personality that they've been conditionally taught to think it was like. I'm tired of confusing people with how unashamed I am of my existence.

Heya!

Man I haven't been on Tildes for a minute. How the heck is everyone?

I've been on a bit of a roller coaster since I posted about looking for a new phone and have been keeping busy.

Just right now I really should be:

• Editing a book my dad wrote about our ancestors in the US - think Little House on the Prairie. It's going to be a surprise gift for his 90th. I'm having it printed all nice and whatnot.
• I need to contact the free lancer I work with in India to help me put together new online courses for the website I run as a side hustle. Hoping for a break out cycle next time and have it become something that might replace my primary income in the next 4-5 years. It's paying off but the work can be super boring.
• I have a lawn care landscaping guy coming over today to see about putting a french drain in around the basement foundation to get some water away. I am working from home full time now so I want to make the basement nicer (where I work from). Basically it's going to still look like a basement, just nicer. Going to epoxy the floor and put up that commercial type baseboard, fresh white paint on the walls and ceiling, then new lights. Then I'll add storage for things we don't use everyday. Should be cool but a ton of work.

Other stuff that's happened since I last talked to you all:

• I need to get passport photos for the family for a cruise in Nov that we probably will end up canceling unless the kids can get vaccinated by then. Bought it cheap at the height of the pandemic.
• Just yesterday I was at Costco and do you ever get annoyed by the check they do before you leave? Like normally its cursory but this time they really went through everything and it was this much older guy with a lot of Veteran-wear and he like really went out of his way to touch each item in our cart multiple times. I literally said "Are you going to touch everything?" But I don't think he heard me. I guess the issue was we had what looked like 11 items and only 10 on the receipt but one thing was a two-pack of shirts. We also weren't dressed particularity well and probably smelled like weed so there's that too. But no fun for sure.
• I took up stock trading during the March lows and lost about $8K then after a lot of work and mostly luck made that back plus $2k. Then I took a break for a while because it was hella stressful. Then I got in on gme early in my retirement account. So now I don't have to worry about retirement so much. Really mind blowing. I'm going to a financial advisor soon.
• I kind of called the pandemic early ... I have some neighbors who are Chinese and they told me how bad it was getting over there. So we went and got n95s when you could still get them at the big box stores and bought supplies including a handgun and a o2 machine. I remember driving up to the bank drive through window and getting $10k in cash out just for saf e keeping. We've basically been hunkered down ever since.

It's been a long strange trip man, how have you all been?

tl;dr: Got a Samsung Galaxy 8. Generally like it but dislike having to deal with both a Samsung layer and the Google layer - having just the Apple layer on the iPhone is nice. I didn't put any cool OS on it like I was talking about. The fingerprint reader works really well so I totally get why people use those.

note: I posted this on hacker news, some people here seem knowledgeble about hacker news so i though i would ask here also.

basically in Reddit enhancement suite you can filter comments to only show comments that are “unread”, you click on a comment to mark it as read (or with email when clicking on a message marks it as read and you can even mark it as unread).

Is there something like that for hacker news? (a browser addon or some custom client).

There was a recent discussion about the Windows App Store where people said they don't like using it. I'm in the Apple world, and people here constantly complain about the Mac and iOS app stores. I grudgingly use Steam to download games that are only available there. Everyone seems to hate using app stores, but most agree that having them is better than having to find stuff on the web or in bricks and mortar stores.

I don't tend to "shop." When I decide I need a product, I do research. I try to find unbiased sources, though that's problematic in itself. But I don't go browsing for anything because it's largely pointless and tends to drive you towards what the company that's best at selling wants you to buy rather than what's best for your needs. So for the most part, my interaction with app stores is searching for a specific program and either finding it or not.

What do people think would make app stores better? Complaints I've heard include:

• Too hard to find a product you want when you don't know the specific name of a particular one (like you want a photo editor that can make a photo mosaic, but don't know the name of a specific photo mosaic app)
• You search for a specific product and the top hit is a paid placement for a competitor
• Stores are full of crapware with similar names and similar keywords
• Top apps are all games

How could app store makers improve the situation? What would make using an app store a joy for you?

What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

Asking mainly because we generally view this period as a rock-bottom, but nostalgia seems to be as good as natural, so what do you think people in 5, 10, 15+ years will remember overly fondly about the present?

The first time you encountered it, you were lukewarm at best or completely put off at worst. Over time though, you changed, and slowly you came around to it, changing your position from one of distaste or disgust into something rooted in genuine fondness or appreciation.

Tell us that story.

Anything is fair game: foods, movies, people, ideas, careers, etc.

This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!

The main reason I ask this is that, given these types of songs exist mainly to rile up a people in support or opposition to something, which leaves very little serious discussion to be had, other than the top comment offering some context. So what do you think? Given these songs are mostly more about nations, peoples, faiths, I'd probably post them in ~humanities inst of just ~music, but I want other opinions. I also generally make exceptions to sad music of this type, mainly because it's more meaningful.

I've put quite a bit of work into my i3 set up recently and I'm curious if the people here are interested in that kind of thing.

I'd be interested in looking through configs to get ideas, and sharing screenshots and such.

Here is what my desktop looks like right now. Let me know what you think.

What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

I’m enough of a Linux lay user that I’m not even sure if I’m using the right terminology in the question (feel free to tweak it if needed!). Here’s what I mean:

I’m running Pop!_OS currently, and I have at least one app installed via each of the following methods:

• Deb app from the distro repositories
• Deb deb downloaded from program website
• Flatpak app downloaded from Flathub
• AppImage app downloaded from program website
• Snap app downloaded from the Snap store

As someone who doesn’t really know or necessarily even care to know what’s going on under the hood, these all pretty much work identically for me (with the exception of AppImage which doesn’t integrate into my regular programs menu, and the standalone Deb, which requires manual updating). In fact, for most of the programs on my computer I couldn’t tell you which one they’re sourced from. They all just run like they should.

I’ve looked up differences between all of the options and usually end up finding conversations that go well above my head and get deep into technical details. My question here is basically aimed at cutting through a lot of that depth: what is the important, need-to-know information about these different methods of installing apps? Is there anything I should be aware of if all I’m really going to be doing is running them as a standard, non-power user? Also, if an app is available via multiple methods — is there one that is preferred/better/safer/superior/etc.?

I recently set up kubernetes to run on an old laptop. The goal was two-fold, 1 learn kubernetes and 2 setup an instance of nextcloud. I've managed to set everything up with cert renewals for my domain and enabled dyndns in case my provider changes my ip. All well and good and quite nice learning experience! Now I would like to also start running my own email server and have some questions. Is ther any that have a helm chart that is easy to setup in kubernetes? Since I am running this from home I imagine I'm more likely to be classified as a spammer. What can I do to minimize the likelihood of that? I read somewhere about reverse DNS, but not entirely sure if it is possible to do given I am running it all at home via a regular ISP.

This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!