We all have something that makes us stand out. Sometimes it’s seen by others as a good thing; sometimes it’s not. Sometimes we love it ourselves; sometimes we don’t.

Tell me the story of when you discovered a meaningful difference about yourself.

(Any difference works here: major stuff, minor stuff, identities, abilities, preferences, etc.)

Also, I hope it should go without saying, but please make the comments an inclusive and supportive space.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

Apologies for the wordy title. Generally speaking, I do not hesitate to ask for things - needs, wants, help - especially in a professional context.

I realize though that most people are not like me, and I think it would come across as a bit narcissistic if I started asking my acquaintances and friends about their perception of me. It's a bit of a self-serving question even here, but oh well.

In any case, I turn to you: what is your honest opinion about people that ask for what they want? Do you have a positive or negative perception of them? Or maybe you can share some interesting anecdotes.

I don't think my wife and I are that weird here, but we have jokingly exaggerated arguments about stupid things we don't really care about. For example, She loves desserts a la mode. I have an apparently hot take that a la mode makes the hot dessert cold and the ice cream melted, and ice cream is better on the side.

Does anyone else do this, and if so, what do you argue about?

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

I was thinking about this today as I heard about Instacart going public. I've never used Instacart because I refuse to pay the cost for the convenience of grocery delivery. I've paid for grocery delivery in other ways but instacart feels too much.
I've stopped paying for doordash, which I had never been big on, but the fees got too high

I have and will however pay for a cleaner to come clean my apartment every 3 weeks. I will also splurge on a car wash, as driving through an automatic wash with a fountain soda is a weird happy place for me.

What are your "absolutely will" spends and what are your "no way in hell" spends?

The original title I conceived of for this was “How are you your own hypocrite?” but I didn’t like that it came across as negative and judgmental. Nevertheless, you can use that as a jumping off point for what I’m trying to get at.

I think we all have ideals and beliefs and values that we simultaneously hold but also fail to meet on a regular basis. I also think these can be hard to identify. We all like to think that we’re consistent individuals and, when something is out of alignment, we often find very good reasons or explanations for why that is. Sometimes those can be valid, but sometimes they’re really just motivated reasoning aimed at keeping a sense of internal consistency in ourselves.

I’m interested in people exploring the inconsistent areas of themselves (it’s been something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately), but I think to do that this topic needs to be a space where people can be open, honest, and vulnerable.

Please do not jump on someone for the inconsistencies they share or for their failure to meet certain standards. Please do not use this as an opportunity to get in arguments with others.

The whole point of the thread is to explore difficult areas rather than judge them. If people feel that they will have to be pressured to defend themselves in doing so, they simply won’t comment and the whole thought experiment will be for moot. Think of this as a shared space for thoughtful self-reflection and commiseration rather than a battleground.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

An odd suggestion from a friend.

A dubious lifehack you read online.

A “well I can’t make the problem any worse, so I might as well try something” moment.

Whatever it was, you didn’t expect it to work, but, against all odds, it actually did.

• What was the problem?
• Why were you doubtful about it in the first place?
• How well did the novel “solution” work in the end?

Got your attention yet?

I'm a mod of the nudism sub on that other site, and I've set up camp on KBin and Lemmy in case our users want to revolt, but personally have been enjoying Tildes quite a bit more, despite not having a specific place to host our community (but that isn't what Tildes is for....)

My wife and I have visited many nudist or clothing optional resorts, campgrounds, and beaches in the US and overseas. These are non-sexualized family friendly places, just like any other resort, summer camp, or beach you've been to, except that the vast majority of people aren't wearing clothes. There are multiple worldwide organizations that represent nudists, provide accreditation to resorts and clubs, making sure everyone is "playing by the rules" and maintaining a level of decorum.

Next month we're headed back to a clothing optional music festival that we thoroughly enjoyed last year.

There is something completely freeing about being outside in the sun/breeze/ocean/lake/whatever with no clothing, no connection to your daily life. We both have stressful jobs that require us to be "on-grid" almost all the time, and being able to make these escapes are a way to completely disconnect from the stresses of daily life. And of course, swimming in clothing, and then having to sit around in those wet clothes for the next hour is just a ridiculous idea.

So what say you Tildes (Tilders? Tildesers? Tildees?)? Have you ever skinny dipped or visited a nude beach? Got any questions about the logistics of it?

Five years ago, I moved from the southeast US to the northwest. I took my southern accent with me, and, as far as I know, it's been fine. I've been able to get work, make friends, and mostly function as normal.

My accent is light. It doesn't sound southern to other southerners, but it does sound southern anywhere else in the US. People who have commented on it say they like it (but what else would you say, I guess 😅).

But I'm about to take on something that will require me to be persuasive. I'm wondering what Tildes thinks: will my accent diminish my ability to be persuasive? Should I try to train my accent out and develop a more neutral accent?

I find myself torn. On the one hand, a southern accent could immediately call to mind the stereotypes of the south: stubborn people without much education. Maybe it makes sense to let that go and start on a more level playing field. On the other hand, my time growing up in the south is part of my history. It makes me unique and maybe the upset expectations (if someone hears me and expects me to embody those stereotypes I mentioned before) could make me more memorable.

I generally don't like the idea of filing the rough edges off things, especially when those things are people, but at the same time, I have goals I want to achieve and I'm willing to do what it takes to reach them. So, what do you think?

Edit: I appreciate all the comments so far! For a little additional context, I want to be active in local politics. Not trying to run for office or anything. Not sure exactly where I'll be taking that on yet, but it won't be in the south.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

I'm curious to hear about the people or things in your city or region that add their own unique charm or character -- perhaps they're unknown or barely known to the rest of the world but are important culturally to your area.

I'll throw out a few of my picks for Dallas, Texas:

• The Ticket is a local sports radio station that's been around since 1995, which is an eternity when it comes to AM/FM radio. On the surface, this doesn't sound that interesting, but the station goes way deeper than just sports. Most of the listeners are loyal and almost cult-like in their dedication. People say that when they listen, it's as if they're just hearing some of their friends talk on the radio. I'd go as far as to say it has introduced some vernacular into the Dallas area lexicon that you don't typically find in other places (i.e. you can have a conversation with someone and they'll say a phrase in a way that instantly tips you off that they're a listener).
• Robert Wilonsky is a local writer/historian/everything Dallas guy. Not only is he passionate about Dallas, but he has a knack for writing and can turn a very boring civil matter into an exciting read.

I would like to learn for me and my loved ones.
In my case is health issues and anxiety about deadly emergencies (I have been there). Also, professional growth potential have declined after certain age.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

Yes, Trump has a real chance of winning in 2024 and that would be dangerous for the world in many ways.

On the other hand Trump seems like the easiest candidate for the presumptive nominee President Biden to beat.

1. A lot of Americans are rightly scared shitless of Trump and will turn out to vote against him.
2. Trump is likely to try to dodge debates which benefits Biden, who has a stuttering problem and a gaffe problem.
3. Trump is elderly, like Biden so that somewhat neutralizes the age issue for Biden.

If Trump was removed from the election DeSantis might become the front runner or nominee

1. He is young, and the age issue would be on Biden again
2. He might have the debates Trump would have eschewed and do well in them
3. DeSantis would likely pick up Trump's base in that situation

The worst scenario with Trump being removed from the election would if someone other than DeSantis became the nominee

1. Again, the age issue would be a thing for Biden again
2. The unknown nominee could be a better debater than Biden
3. The unknown candidate would have neither Trump's nor DeSantis's baggage, causing more voters to stay home or swing voters picking him/her over Biden

Edit:

To clarify, I mean what would happen if Trump was kept entirely out of 2024 - no 3rd party runs, no vote splitting.

Mine is this:

Run up, swing your left leg behind you while popping up with your right angle into a corkscrewing front flip. Pull your right leg and kick into the opponents temple at a 45 degree angle before landing on your left leg and spinning a full 360 before standing up facing the opposite direction, and walk away.

I'm probably never using that in a fight but it'd be a cool party trick.

I'm facing this now and it seems like an impossible and monumental choice.

How did you decide to marry your partner? How long had you been together? If you lived together beforehand, for how long? Did you make you choice on having kids before marriage?

So I'm currently at my local state fair getting lunch, so I figured this might be a fun topic. Let's talk about state fairs! What are your favorite memories? Favorite activities to do? Go-to snack foods? Weirdest deep fried food booths you've seen?

For me, I'm looking forward to getting kettle corn and soft serve ice cream later. The kettle corn I love is only sold at fairs, and I haven't had it in years. Otherwise we're just going to walk around and see what's going on, going wherever our feet take us.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

Historically, I've found the most interesting AMA's came from seemingly "ordinary" people. (touchmyfuckingcoffee's vacuum AMA's come to mind!) I think that most everyone has one or two life experiences, points of view, or specialized knowledge that would be fun to share or fun to learn about.

I've toyed with the idea of hosting an AMA for awhile, but I've been afraid that maybe I wasn't "interesting" enough. Then, I realized that others might be in the same position! So instead of hosting my own AMA, I wanted to make space for a collective "Low-Risk" AMA, that I think would work especially well with Tildes' philosophy and format.

With that preamble, I'm wondering if you would like to join me in an experiment? Let's make mini-AMA's out of top-level comments, with the Q's and A's as child comments.

Edit: Wow! I wasn't expecting this thread to have so much staying power! Love all the conversations that are being had. FYI The early posters including myself are still answering questions, so don't be shy!

I have cptsd and comorbid-depression, am gay and trans, and i have bad social skills (i cant even maintain eye contact with someone). I feel completely hopeless for the future and i just wanted to know if anyone else here related, or if they've recovered. Thanks
Edit: Thank you all very much for the great responses. Maybe i'll make it :)

As a preface, this comes from the perspective of an American looking in on Europe. I'm curious in particular what any Europeans (please include your country of origin/ethnicity if you feel so inclined) feel about this post and the future of the EU.

Europe is a unique region, to put it lightly. The extremely high level of development relative to the rest of the world over this last millennium as well as so many technological innovations in that period of time led to a Europe ready to exert its influence upon the rest of the world. We can comfortably say that, while examples do still exist, colonialism as an institution has largely faded. Europe is a much more varied continent culturally and ethnically despite a space roughly equal to that of the USA. We've all heard the common sayings about 200 miles is long in Europe where 200 years is long in America and generally speaking that does hold true.
That said, Europe in the modern era really does feel like many small countries functioning as one big entity with the European Union. The EU has only gained credibility and legitimacy and it is now the institution I expect to hear from on matters within the EU first, even ahead of any individual nation state.
All of this to say, I think a united Europe is the strongest possible future for Europe. No individual state in Europe is large enough to exert an influence upon the world without the rest of Europe behind them. Globalization, while diminished in recent years, is still happening and I don't see a decentralized Europe as "winning" globalization as dozens of individually tiny states.

I could continue writing, but I think you understand my position. Now I would like to point to the article I found that really made me think about this, here.

I would also like to ask, what do you see Europe and the European Union standing for? Should it continue to centralize or is the current level of control enough? Too much? I didn't mention Ukraine or defense in this post but obviously that has a huge impact on all of these questions and I would love to hear if that has impacted your perspective on this admittedly grandiose idea for a united Europe.

People from all countries welcome to discuss, but please do mention your country if you feel comfortable doing so!

Edit: More reading for anyone interested.

Anything goes. This can be in your job, in an interpersonal relationship, a societal pressure, or something else entirely. It can be something significant or something minor. It can be something externally applied to you, or a pressure you put on yourself.

• What is the unrealistic expectation?
• What makes it so unrealistic?
• Who/what is applying the pressure?
• Is this expectation specific to you, or does it apply to a larger group/role/identity?
• Why do you think the pressure exists in the first place?
• What could be done (if anything) to change the expectation?

Basically as the title says. I'm a big proponent of "judging people by what they do, not what they say"; it has been one of my most unshakeable life mottos and I can't, for the life of me, grasp why or how someone with even a modicum of intellectual honesty can believe otherwise.

I'm very interested in the nature of the mental gymnastics going on inside the people who defend themselves with such statements.

Thanks folks !!

EDIT: rephrased for clarity

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

The rules are you have a magic remote, and you are immediately transported to a location of your choice. You can use it as many times you want, but it will only go to the one location. Where do you put it?

Hi Tilders! I am new here, but my experience with the community thus far has encouraged me to post an AMA. I've specifically decided to post this AMA in ~talk rather than ~science for more exposure, and because I am hoping to field questions ranging from scientifically well-read to less-read, technical to curious, why care to who cares, and everything in between.

I won't be posting "verifying proof", because like many of you, I love my anonymity here. However, I will include peer-reviewed citations to question answers when I feel it necessary. I will do my best to share free-access articles, but this won't always be possible. If I link an article of interest to you that is paid-access, message me; maybe, I may be able to get a copy to you. Also, please be patient for my replies. Even though it is summer where I am, I am still busy in the lab and thoughtful responses take time.

Here is a brief background on the Rice Blast fungus to help get the conversation started:

Rice is an important staple food consumed by nearly half of the global population Khush. 2005. From 10 - 30% of the annual rice harvest is lost to disease caused by Magnaporthe oryzae, which is enough rice to feed greater than 60 million people Skamnioti and Gurr. 2009. To cause infection, a three-celled asexual spore called a conidium attaches to the rice plant's leaves, stems, and even roots. Once attached, a germ tube emerges from one of the three cells and grows along the surface of the plant. Hydrophobic molecules on the plant surface, called hydrophobins, induce a developmental change in the growing germ tube. The growing germ tube tip begins to form a dome-shaped structure called the appressorium. This specialized structure swells and generates up to 80 Mpa of pressure, enough to penetrate kevlar. A penetration peg penetrates the plant cell tissue, and bulbous invasive hyphae colonize the plant cell tissue. The fungus keeps the invaded plant cell alive, while it consumes its nutrients, with the plant cell dying only when the invading growth moves to an adjacent cell Cruz-Mireles et al. 2021. Schematic.

The Rice Blast research community focuses on all stages of its development. My work is focused on nuclear division during different developmental stages, and I am specifically working on understanding which and how motor proteins are involved in nuclear division in this fungus. Understanding the nuclear dynamics and the involved machinery will hopefully open avenues for controlling the plant infection and reducing the global crop loss.

I hope you all find Rice Blast interesting, and I hope I will be able to answer many interesting questions!

I have a very senior role inside of a 450 person company, in IT. I'm not going to be too specific but it's in the TV industry. I state this because anyone that works in TV probably knows it's full of hot heads and technically inept people. I have a very small team of two in the UK looking after four sites, a couple of guys in the US too, looking after almost pure remote folks, they're mostly cloud.

Every time I go on holiday and as the most technical and senior person, some shit happens that ruins my break. I've had everything from ISP issues caused by finance not paying the bill so we had a site cut off, through to a show not being able to be delivered to channel on a deadline of hours which meant I had to step in, no matter where in the world I am and on what vacation.

I'm away again. Today, 10am, ping after ping about a site outage. Servers unavailable. Telephones not working. IT have failed again. The usual email chains and Teams/Slack chats that start pointing and poking. Absolutely furious and away on a family break I ignored it for the youngsters to solve, it should have been an easy fix. But no, the information given to them was wrong. The diagnosis handed to me incorrect. A cancelled ISP contract kicked in but we have multiple site outbound connections so that should not effect us. The site to site link goes dark for this particular site. I finally get THE CALL. I'm not going to rant too much as it gets technical but there's only so much that can be done from a phone VPN over a poor quality cell connection when you're somewhere between a wooded area a beach, and all you have on you is a 6" android device. I eventually got hold of my US senior tech who spent a four hours trying to direct the UK youngsters on what to touch, where to look. Turns out, some people randomly plugged in a switch, a NAS with DHCP server on and then managed to loopback the network using two ports of a SIP phone over the weekend as they had no clue what they were doing and eventually the network gave out. Spanning tree is not as good as it should be. We're a small team and due to always being overridden in protocol I've never been allowed to MAC address deny by default even though we're often a hacker target. BYOD is rife and it's getting harder to not lose data.

Anyway. Another day of my vacation ruined, time I should have spent concentrating on my family and having fun, building memories. The seething email I have sent to the board will go down like a lead balloon, I cannot wait to read the responses on Monday! Deny is going to get enabled by default or I'm going to resign.

So I ask you, how many others like me are there in here that work pushes in to your personal time, every time you try to get away from it?

Numerous studies have shown that talking about the things going on in our life is beneficial for our mental health, but sometimes it’s hard to speak about them with the people in our lives.

So, share with us strangers. We may not be able to fix it for you, but maybe you can leave some of the burden you’re carrying in these comments and walk away a little lighter. I’ll start!

I saw that new “Aged” filter on Tik Tok this week and thought I’d give it a try. The moment my camera opened, I was looking at the spitting image of the deceased father. I panned my head, raised my eyebrows, smiled, and frowned, so many of my facial mannerisms were exactly the same as my dad’s. As I felt all the emotion of missing my dad well up inside me, watching the camera, I said “Hey boyyy” in the way my father used to say it to me. It broke my heart to see the image of my dad staring back at me and talking to me, I miss him so much.

I lost my dad 7 years ago now, and each year I can feel little details of him slip further away. The shirts I kept of his are sealed in bags so I can open them and smell him again, but ziplock can only do so much, the scent is all but gone. I can feel little details about him that I knew so well slip away as time passes. The way the skin of his hands felt when I held hands with him. The feeling of his back when I would give him big bear hugs. The comforting details slip further out of reach as I dive deeper into adulthood on my own, without my dad to help me. So the fact that I could open this app and look at a live image of my dad, embodied in me, both breaks my heart and fills it in a strange way.

I’ve been noticing food shrinkflation a lot here in Belgium lately. Smaller soda cans, biscuit packet counts going down, 125g becoming 115g etc.

And honestly, to choose between the same size package getting more expensive vs less of it… I’ll take the latter. It’s reducing consumption. Which is great as a whole, but also selfishly if I’m buying a pack of crisps and I get to eat less of it … great.

Not so great on essentials obviously but those aren’t really hit by shrinkflation as much as snacks, etc.

Okay, that’s it. I do want to stress that I don’t like paying more for the same shit, but on a practical level, if I do, I much rather get less for the same price than have to spend more and be stuck getting the same quantity.

Especially if it’s junk food… I’ve even found myself disliking the old soda can sizes when I come across them. Having gotten used to the new ones, the old ones are straight up too much.

I spontaneously came up with Tildesians, but I have seen others, including Tilders and Tildren.

Edit, I was hoping to surface a variety of nicknames, so thanks for your input, I like to play with language. It's fun.

1. What do you think of popular figures like Noam Chomsky, Jason Hickel, Richard Wolff, David Graeber, and Bernie Sanders?

2. Why does grotesque inequality persist? Will the lot of the downtrodden and the oppressed ever improve?

3. What do you think of Anarchism?

Just looking to learn from the community members here. Thanks.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

Nothing spectacular- I don’t particularly wince at bitter foods but after posting this thread:

https://tildes.net/~food/18ae/is_it_me_or_does_spicy_sweet_bitter

I was today’s years old when I learned most people don’t taste bitterness like I do; it’s not an overwhelming taste and on some foods a light bitterness is actually pleasant, but I didn’t know that others don’t taste the bitterness of things e.g. unsweetened sparkling water.

Well I’ll be a donkey’s uncle.

Whether you work indoors or out on the field, with your hands or with your mind.
Whether you create things, fix them, sell them. Or whether you work with people or look after them. What gets you up in the morning, keeps you going through the day (or night) and makes it enjoyable? (or bearable!)

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

I'm intrigued to ask Tildes this because people are from all walks of life and from all over the world.

Right now, Europe is being hit with a heatwave that's breaking all records. Last year the UK had it's hottest day ever recorded too. It's pretty crazy and it's messing with crops, animals and humans alike. It's changing our way of life.

The question is: do you believe we're the cause and humans have caused global warming?

Or

We're in a climate cycle the world naturally takes going from ice age to extreme heat and back again?

I ask because I'm of the belief that science is right, humans are causing this. However, a few friends, some of who I believe to be fairly intelligent, are firmly sticking to it being a planet cycle and it's purely natural.

Your views please?

I've seen discussions on here about nostalgia or nostalgic moments. It seems not only in this site, but others find themselves reminiscing about a time long passed. I've seen it popping up more and more. Some brush it aside as people being nostalgic about a time when they didn't have to work, but I find myself thinking that the increased rise of people reminiscing about the past is because the quality of life and/or the world itself feels so much worse than it did in the past. I've done this as well, too many times.

What're your thoughts on this?

I wish there was a more concise way to phrase that question. I've asked it a couple times and always get some interesting answers.

This is inspired by all the "isekai" stories in anime and manga where a hero is summoned to help fight the demon king, along with the LitRPG genre. They use game-like interfaces to track stats and skills. Not just the typical combat ones like magic or weapons, but mundane skills like cooking, cleaning, walking, resting, drawing, lying, etc. Naturally, higher level skills tend to surpass basic physical limitations found on Earth. You could run faster than a train if your speed is high enough, or sculpt an exact replica of Michaelangelo's David in just a few days with a sculpting skill.

So imagine you got summoned to such a world and went through the whole "defeat the demon king" quest, and could choose one skill to take back to Earth. This includes anything from some specific magic ability like weather control and invisibility, to trained skills like archery and blacksmithing, to even basic stats like strength and stealth. Anything is fair game, but you can pick only one.

So, what skill would you choose and why?

So from earliest childhood, I have experienced that from time to time the electrical grid becomes unavailable for use and it can take days or even weeks to restore service. I'm having trouble comprehending the scope, scale and plausibility of what changes would need to be made to increase the electrification of everything in the way that is being pushed by policy advisors.

Everyone is pushing electric cars. I think it's a great idea, but I have questions about how the grid can support it.

People tell me that the next big advancement in the workplace is going to be the incorporation of artificial intelligence. Doesn't AI require servers on a massive scale? How plausible is it for AI to reach all corners of society and economy on our existing grid or reasonable expectations for plausible improvement of the grid?

The banks seem to be lobbying for the substitution of electronic accounts for cash. Again, electric power is not always available. Also some people who need to use money don't have homes and can't reliably charge electronics. If I remember correctly the payment system went down in Canada a while ago and people without cash were out of luck.

What insight can you share with me?