A "low-risk" AMA thread for everyone
Historically, I've found the most interesting AMA's came from seemingly "ordinary" people. (touchmyfuckingcoffee's vacuum AMA's come to mind!) I think that most everyone has one or two life experiences, points of view, or specialized knowledge that would be fun to share or fun to learn about.
I've toyed with the idea of hosting an AMA for awhile, but I've been afraid that maybe I wasn't "interesting" enough. Then, I realized that others might be in the same position! So instead of hosting my own AMA, I wanted to make space for a collective "Low-Risk" AMA, that I think would work especially well with Tildes' philosophy and format.
With that preamble, I'm wondering if you would like to join me in an experiment? Let's make mini-AMA's out of top-level comments, with the Q's and A's as child comments.
Edit: Wow! I wasn't expecting this thread to have so much staying power! Love all the conversations that are being had. FYI The early posters including myself are still answering questions, so don't be shy!
That's a pretty significant Wikipedia existence! I'd argue it's the best kind because you don't have a page on yourself so not all details of your personal life are public but you have a badass claim to fame. Did you suspect the website might get the attention it did and could lead to litigation when you started it?
And a second question - what led to the diagnosis of ADHD as an adult?
The internet now is really so different from how it used to be, there's more awareness about privacy but also being a public figure comes with its own complexities. Not everyone would have made the choice you did about not shutting down the website, I'm glad you kept it up, it's inspirational to see someone fight for their beliefs.
Neurodiversity feels like it's still poorly understood and access to proper diagnosis is still quite limited (as someone who also suspects it but not diagnosed as a child or an adult - yet). Thank you for sharing your experience and taking the time to reply!
It's frustrating how poorly understood it is both among the public and among the professionals (hence the overdiagonis/misdiagnosis). I suspect it's in part due to how mental health is considered only a problem if you can't contribute to being a productive member of society - if you still manage to get a job and function 'normally', despite the many, many struggles you might face compared to others, it isn't considered a problem and the causes won't be looked into.
BOTH psychologists said you were the most severe case. my goodness. If they could have gone back in time to take pictures of you, you'd be their poster child. :|
Okay I read your other post and I'm very glad you found a stable career, and....a lot of us ADHD people have a super hard time with that. Can you give some advice on how to find a suitable employer or types of jobs or....some kind of pointer?
I love running into out of the blue case law decisions and their reasoning behind it. Thanks for sharing that interesting read.
Wow, burying the lede! When you made that website, did you think it would become as large of a "thing" as you did? What was the most surprising part of the litigation process, from your perspective?
I remember your website and following some of the drama around it at the time. That's so great! I also once created a website that made it to Wikipedia, but you definitely got me beat in terms of notoriety.
What's your favorite theatrical production that you've been a part of? And do you prefer acting more or being behind the scenes? I've always had a desire to do performance art (community theater or even just Twitch streaming or making videos on YouTube) but I'm way too introverted and self-judgemental to ever make it happen.
Oh the irony. Well played @daychilde.
is the website adventure the crazies thing that's happened to you? That's really hilarious how it turned out -- as in, I'm glad it turned out well for you. Did it cost you a bunch of money or did some lawyers step up to help?
Oh my goodness O_O You almost died in several different ways and almost got held for baker act - rolled a bunch of 20's that day. Example, you could have hit your head on the pavement if you didn't have your theatre experience kick in. Here's hoping you never have "exciting" medical adventures again. Just like, grow super old and get interviewed for your secret to longevity and fall asleep afterwards.
10/10 write up - would advocate for universal health care again.
This was an absolute incredible read, your writing made me feel as if I was going through it with you step by step.
I almost resent reading some of these stories about untreated medical conditions in the US. My Grandfather had helped lobby for the creation of the NHS post WW2. From the 70s my Dad was an A&E Doctor in Belfast and my sister is now a cardiologist. So many members of my family have had their lives saved or dramatically improved by being able to walk in without financial considerations.
I resent comments such as yours because I end up crying thinking about all the people who haven't been looked after. That isn't to say the NHS is some utopia, particular after 15 years of Tory rule.
For ADHD, I wasn't diagnosed until my mid twenties (~2007). Research I had read at the time was that it was massively over diagnosed in the US and massively under diagnosed in the UK. That isn't to say all Americans with ADHD had been treated, but that those who were insured and could afford private treatment would be given a diagnosis. In the UK ADHD was considered a childhood condition which you grew out of, which to be fair is true for the majority of teenagers. Cognitive development means that executive function is no longer such a crucial problem yet that isn't the case for all.
First time I even thought about it was my girlfriend (now ex-wife) saying she thought I had ADHD. I dismissed her, saying no of course I don't what? That is silly. Until I read the DSM criteria and more importantly the NICE guidelines. When I saw my local GP he told me that ADHD was just this made up term and that I shouldn't pay it any heed. My Dad at the time was quite important in European healthcare and he spoke to the UKs most influential psychiatrist that lead to me having an appointment at the only place in all of the UK that could diagnose adult ADHD.
For that appointment I needed to bring a parent (despite being in my 20s) and they were asked to bring school reports. Amazingly my Mum had actually kept them, one at 10 years old the teacher wrote "CALM DOWN BEARDEDCHIMP!" hahaha. But I only had that appointment because my Dad was an influential public health Professor, all the other people struggling had no such privilege.
Now we have thousand of papers, a plethora of research showing that ADHD massively increases mortality outcomes due to things like substance abuse, depression, obesity with heart disease and heart attacks being many times more likely.
Your legal issues remind me a lot of Groklaw. The SCO-Linux quagmire had her taking on the burden of the entire open source community covering the various cases. Her sacrifice like yours has resulted in a dramatic change in public perception and legal precedent for the public good.
Thank you for what you've done, I doubt you'll ever know the sheer number of people that genuinely appreciate it.
What an incredible read.
My whole life up until about 10 years ago when I had a procedure to correct it, I suffered from random SVT episodes where it was like someone flipped a switch and suddenly my heart rate would shoot up to around 150-200bpm and it would stay that way for anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. One particularly bad episode (I think I was around 20 years old at the time) had been going for over 8 hours so I had my dad drive me to the ER where they pushed adenosine to stop my heart and force it back to a normal rhythm. You description is pretty much spot on--feeling that heaviness and listening to the monitor slow down, it was quite an experience.
I'm wondering how to think about the historical re-enactment that they do at Colonial Williamsburg? I don't really get how it should work compared to a stage play.
Ideally, how should audience members interact, if at all? Do you ask straight questions and they respond in character? It seems like it would be a little weird. Like, I know they're an actor and they know they're an actor, but the character probably shouldn't acknowledge that and I'm wondering how seriously you and they should take the role.
What department at Colonial Williamsburg? I lived in Virginia when I was young (dad was stationed at Ft Eustis) and Colonial Williamsburg was the highlight of that time for me. I did summer camp there and I love to hear about what people do there.
That is a fascinating job! Coordinating all sorts of people takes a particular set of skills, you are impressive. I hope you get fitted and used to your prosthetic soon so you can go enjoy the experience again. I would love to be above the Blacksmith, though I don't know how I could get work done wanting to watch them all the time. I took a course on Blacksmithing in college and I love the process of taking raw material and making it into something.
Fair point.
I don’t have a question, just wanted to say that Glenn Beck thing is cool as hell!
What led to you leaving Japan? Where do you live now? And do you still keep in touch with anyone from there?
You weren't kidding when you said trauma! I'm glad you have cut out toxic individuals from your life, I know how hard that can be, especially when it's a parent.
And having your entire career pulled out from under you in as little as 60 days! Many people wouldn't have been able to handle that! I'm glad that you've gotten your feet back under you a bit and have been making the best of things. Thanks a lot for sharing.
You have a great outlook. I hope to get to the point of being able to own my flaws as well as you. We all have a long way to go, but we can make it through, as you said, one day at a time! I don't know how much it means coming from a random internet stranger, but I'm proud of you, @Moomtinuum, and rooting for you every step of the way!
How long did it take you to learn Japanese? Did you learn exclusively from immersion or did you use apps, take lessons, etc.?
I heard that it's difficult being a foreigner in Japan -- in general, I guess, but I mean to ask about language proficiency in particular -- I heard that the Japanese, even if you're fluent in their language, still by default treat you as if you didn't know the language well and will try to speak to you in English. Did that happen to you? Maybe it's very anecdotal, just something someone told me.
So you confirmed what I heard. That skit was super funny :D and further confirms it, since they felt like recording it.
I'm sorry, I'm new to Tildes (a Reddit refugee), I don't have much to say right now, but feel like simply voting is not enough given how much you wrote on the topic. I appreciate your answer, it was very informative. I hope my comment just gets labeled as Noise and it's OK.
へへへー 興味深いな。Well, you as a person, and your extensive commentary on Japan's power/hydrogen situation also haha. Fascinating read. 詳しく書いてくれてありがとう！
I'm also interested in how you made that initial jump from living in the US to working in Japan? What pushed you overseas? How did you transition into what seems to be a complicated/specialized industry in a foreign country?
You're not in Japan anymore so you're off the hook haha ここで敬語もなんて 笑
Anyway, thanks for sharing. It's always impressive to me hearing stories of how people survive/adapt abroad in a foreign country. Ah, and it does make some sense that some do it to run away. I've daydreamed about what it might be like if I moved to Japan, but I suppose right now I have more reasons to stay than leave.
I'm glad to hear you've faced and made peace with your demons. Despite everything seems like you're heading in a better direction :)
Bit of a boring question– I've been living in Japan for the past 4 years now, likely to stay here for the forseeable future. Any advice for a married dude in his mid-20s living in Japan?
I feel like I knew this answer was coming but it still hits me where it hurts, haha. Thank you for taking the time to respond to such a vague question.
My Japanese has plateaued at "mediocre". I work in marketing for a Japanese company (my job is western facing, but all intra-company communication and meetings are in Japanese) and my language ability is...barely good enough? How did you get over the hump (if you ever had to at all)? In meetings and in day to day life, I can convey my point and mostly keep up, but I can't keep up with say, TV News.
On a side note, I know exactly what you mean about the gaijin coasting on having their Japanese wives take care of everything. I'd probably do the same, but my wife is Russian ;)
With domain knowledge of manufacturing/supply chain, why go down the career path of becoming a professional interpreter? I've looked into it before for Chinese<->English and the consensus seems to be long hours with low wages.
IAMA attorney who focuses on civil (as opposed to criminal) domestic violence restraining order matters and a Certified Domestic Violence Victim Advocate. I am also a deacon at my Christian church who provides trainings and seminars to religious communities on topics such as spiritual abuse; preventing, identifying, and addressing abuse in religious communities; and cultivating healthy relationships. Many Christians want to support domestic violence survivors but don't now how to do so. Many may even ignorantly cause harm in the process. My goal is to train communities to address domestic violence in a trauma-informed, competent, and actually healthy way.
Note: I am an attorney, but I'm not your attorney! Laws will vary based on jurisdiction. If you have a legal matter, my only recommendation is that you consult an attorney in your jurisdiction (who isn't me!)
AMAA
Gotta save this post and ping you when, not if, a situation like this shows up again in our congregation. Had a super nasty one a couple years ago with more horrors than I care to describe, and I hope we can get into a position as leadership to identify and do what needs to be done way before it gets as bad as that situation.
And, just to clarify, we get to minister in a lot of low SES areas and have a knack for working with people a lot of other churches don’t want or who don’t feel safe in other church settings. As such, we frequently have people or families that present higher risk. The particular abuse situation was between a non-leadership husband, wife, and their kids. He’s locked up now, which is absolutely the best situation for everyone.
Hi there, I'm sorry that there was a particularly difficult domestic violence situation in your congregation. I'm glad to hear that the perpetrator is behind bars. You're always free to reach out to me when you face a similar situation, but do you think there is interest at your church for seminars, training, or creating what I call a "DV Action Plan?" I'm from California, and I liken it to having an earthquake plan. Yes, getting rapid help after an event is important, but planning for the event is the better solution.
If your church or a group from your church would be interested please check out my website at DVdoula.com and use the coupon code TILDES.
I will definitely look into that. We recently had the former head of the Mental Health Association in our area over to do some training, so I can see something like this being worthwhile.
This is such important work that you do, both legal work and training; first of all thank you.
When do you "appear on the scene" as a lawyer? Maybe that's a dumb question but I mean....real estate lawyers come at the end when the purchase agreement had already been signed and folks are ready to exchange money etc; family lawyer maybe come in when someone wants to draft a document....how does your specialty work, along the timeline of when someone is in trouble or trying to leave etc?
I would love to take one of your seminars if you ever offer one virtually.
Is there a sort of profile for "bad guys"? Like, as outside observers is there some kind of hint that this church/marriage/parent is potentially dangerous?
Has anyone from church or broader life ever started distancing themselves from you once they find out what you do?
Thanks for the kind words. It's definitely grueling, but it's incredibly rewarding. I truly already have my "dream job."
This is a totally valid question! I become involved at almost any stage. People come to me when they think they've experienced abuse but aren't sure; when they've experienced abuse but aren't ready to leave; when they are in the process of leaving; and immediately after the leave. Some even come to me for problems further down the line, such as years after they separated but when there is an ongoing custody battle because - surprise - the perpetrator just shifts their need to exert power and control onto the custody situation, even after there is physical and romantic separation between the parties. As specifically a pro bono lawyer, I also come on the scene when people find out about my office after they spend $10k+ on an attorney and can no longer afford attorney's fees.
Within my extended religious community, I basically become involved whenever someone learns about what I do. For example, a pastor or church leader might send out a mass email to their colleagues asking what to do for/about someone in their congregation, and my name gets passed along by word of mouth. Once I got a text from my pastor's wife at like 10:30 pm because there was a situation with someone at our church and there was confusion as to whether an event was related to DV, drugs, or "maybe demon possession," and I was like well...either way it sounds like she needs to get away from that guy. Calls like that are why I joke to myself that I'm the "Ghostbusters" of DV. Something strange? I get the call.
I offer virtual seminars for groups, but I don't have anything set up in the near future. I'll bookmark your comment and try to reach out when I do! If you know a group that would be interested, then have them check me out at DVdoula.com and use the coupon code TILDES.
Yes, there are several psychological profiles for "People Who Cause Harm," which is the most recent way people in my field refer to abusers. The reason for the change (which partly answers your question) is that most abusers are...people. They can seem totally "normal." And when we think of abusers as "people," we step away from this caricature of some kind of malicious puppeteer in the shadows. One big (valid) fear for survivors of abuse is that people won't believe them because, "He/she would never do that!" Yes, yes they would. And they did.
The other, equally important reason why the language has shifted to "People Who Cause Harm" is because abusers are people. They are people who need love and care and reform (in addition to consequences). If we as a society want to eliminate domestic violence, we need to provide resources to People Who Cause Harm as well as the abuse survivors.
More on point to your question, here is a list of red flags of abuse. If you see someone exhibiting these behaviors, or if a friend tells you about these types of scenarios in their relationship, then I would advise the person in that relationship to either ditch the relationship (easier said than done) or proceed with extreme caution.
No, but I don't get invited to parties anymore (j/k). People have been really supportive of my work. The people who were close to me are still close to me, but it can definitely be a conversation "downer" when meeting new people. The "What do you do for work?" icebreaker becomes, "Oh, I'm glad you do that..." and then frantically trying to change the conversation lol. Which is valid. It's a rather heavy topic that most people don't want to have suddenly enter the conversation, particularly at a social gathering.
Do you find it difficult having your Christian beliefs while faced with such horrors or is it opposite?
It's definitely both.
On a personal level, my Christian beliefs ground me. As an attorney, there is only so much that can be solved with the law. Even then, there are many times when results are unfair or unjust. I have a duty to my clients to zealously represent them - I don't shy away from that. But at the end of the day, I have faith that 1) God cares more for the people that I help than I do and 2) God's justice will prevail when earthly justice doesn't. Now, of course, that leads to the more theological and philosophical questions of "Why do bad things happen?" I am familiar with the leading answers made by people who are more "head-y" than I am, and I agree with some of them to an extent, but at the end of the day, I decided to step away from that conversation. The question, and my role as I see it, is, "What is my responsibility in light of the fact that these bad things do happen?"
The hardest thing for me is when I see Christians and/or churches harming others in the name of their biblical beliefs. I come from a very conservative background, and I've made particular efforts to reach out to this portion of the Christian religious community. If you ask someone straight out, people are going to say they are anti-abuse. But when we look at many of the practices of conservative Christian communities, we can see how they create environments where abuse thrives and survivors of abuse suffer. This enrages me to the point that, some days, I feel like I'm working against "the church."
But I need to remind myself that many Christians are good-faith actors (unintentional pun). Furthermore, religious communities play a powerful role in many people's identities, support systems, and sense of belonging. I believe that many (not all) of these communities can be mobilized for good with education and training.
I'm a non denominational Christian who grew up in the southern Baptist church. Ya know... Fire, brimstone, dancing is for sinners etc. Your response made me tear up. Thank you.
Thanks for asking and reading! I'm always looking for more topics to add to my repertoire. Is there any specific topic that you think is a "must have" for me to include?
This is an elegant breakdown of the reasons I find some faith communities maddening. No one MEANS to be an abuse enabler, but it ends up happening because of ignorance. Thank you for your efforts to alleviate this deep seated issue in your community.
Are there some good educational resources that I can read/share with others to help with this? I myself am a hybrid faith wise, and not Christian specifically, but I think there could be good crossover into other belief systems. I always find that there are more similarities than differences when it comes to human communities.
I agree that there's good crossover into other belief systems! I would love to meet with like-minded people from other communities to create a network of sorts between us. Sadly, I don't know of any resources out there that tackle domestic violence from a religious perspective. I literally just started my website, dvdoula.com. As it grows, my goal is to create downloads and infosheets and such, but I haven't had the opportunity to do so yet.
Good to know! I will try to check back to your website off and on to see how things progress.
I am always interested in what an average workday for people of different professions looks like -- I don't really have an exact idea what an attorney actually does. I'd guess most of the time you are in an office and not in a courtroom right? I'd also guess that most of the time at work you are researching previous cases to gather relevant information about a current case you are working on -- would that be somewhat accurate? And how much time do you get to slack off at work? :D
Great idea for a topic by the way, love it!
OK so, I currently work in a nonprofit legal office. What this means is that we get funding through grants, partnerships, and donations while our clients pay us absolutely nothing. Not a dime. My day-to-day work now is much different than what it looked like when I was in private practice.
Now, a lot of my work revolves around different community clinics we run. One day, we might be at the courthouse helping people with restraining orders. Another day, we might be at the law library helping people with guardianship matters. Another day, we might run generalized "whatever comes through the door" clinics. Aside from these clinics, we all have our individual case loads (which is where it becomes similar to private practice.) You're correct that most of the time we're in the office.
Lawyers generally fall in one of two categories - litigators and transaction attorneys. Loosely, litigators go to court. Transaction attorneys do things like read, write, and review documents. However, there are lots of documents that go with litigation, too! The "excitement" may be in court, but a case is won or lost primarily in the office. That's where we prepare our cases, gather evidence, write motions, interview clients and witnesses, etc. A "true" lawyer drama would never be popular on TV because it would all just show someone typing into a Word document, with the occasional heated email exchange with opposing counsel.
That particular Legal Eagle episode is on my watchlist; I'll have to report back after. If you're following the topic, there are some pretty good pieces on Above the Law on the matter.
Update: I saw the Legal Eagle, he has a great analysis, as always. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! He covered the part where the one attorney notarized the document for the other, but he didn't cover the part where THE NOTARIZATION WAS FRAUDULENT! When notarizing, the notary needs to see the declarant IN PERSON! Here, the attorney (acting as a notary) made the notarization without seeing the declarant in person.
So it's not like the Phoenix Wright video games at all, where you get to point at people and pound the desk and shout Objection!
question: most of the time when lay people hear about dv they say "go to the police" -- do you have any advice for people who need help, on what and how to do, before they go to police? (but after they get to a safe place obviously)
Lol, not at all! Fun story - I was a law student under the supervision of my professor when I made my first appearance in court. I totally "croaked" out my first Objection. My professor leaned over, tapped my arm, and whispered, "It's OK to breathe!"
This is an excellent question. The public has been become increasingly aware of this, but "calling the police" can have disastrous results, particularly for people of color, non-English speakers, and neurodivergent folks. There are many, but this recent-ish one comes to mind.
Depending on someone's demographics, the police might be helpful during an active, physical incident. That said, it is also not uncommon for the police to arrest the wrong person due to internal bias, lack of training, or other factors. In my jurisdiction, if there is not an active, physical incident, the police won't respond at all. There may be limited use in "making a report," but my local police departments won't even take down the report most of the time.
Police become involved when there is a commission of a crime, specifically crimes that can be proven "beyond reasonable doubt." Domestic violence situations usually result in one person's account vs. another's and rarely result in a "beyond reasonable doubt" verdict. (Think about the OJ Simpson criminal vs. civil cases.)
I like to point people to local domestic violence shelters. Most shelters nowadays provide more than just housing. (For example, my law office works with local shelters to provide legal services.) They can also provide things like therapy, psychoeducation, and assistance accessing government resources. I also like to encourage people to consult with an attorney (many attorneys offer free consultations) because the attorney can provide the survivor with different legal options available to them and see if those options meet the survivor's goals.
For someone who is thinking of leaving an abusive situation or someone who is starting to think of leaving, I recommend that they create a safety plan. Different plans can be found on Google using the search phrase "DV safety plan" or "DV safety planning."
You mention spiritual abuse and then later mention domestic violence within the church. Are those synonymous? I always thought spiritual abuse and domestic violence within the church aren't the same thing? Do you mean domestic violence that is justified by religious belief is the definition of spiritual abuse? Just looking for what exactly is spiritual abuse?
I PMd you yesterday saying that it got too late for me to reply, but then...it got too late again today. I'm breaking my personal rule so I can get an answer to you.
There is a Venn diagram of overlap between spiritual abuse and domestic abuse. (PS I use the terms "domestic abuse," "family violence," and "domestic violence" somewhat interchangeably for...Reasons that I can get into if there's interest.)
Domestic violence: Misusing the trust and intimacy of a familial, romantic, or serious dating/sexual relationship (as opposed to, like, a one night stand) to exert power and control over the other party
Spiritual abuse: A systemic pattern of coercive control in a spiritual or religious context. Spiritual abuse can be exhibited by persons (pastors/spiritual leaders with unbridled power) and/or systems (cults).
Overlap 1: Someone within a familial, romantic, or serious dating/sexual relationship uses a systemic pattern of coercive control in a spiritual or religious context. For example, saying that the other person needs to "forgive and forget" because that's what a good person would do, and if the abuse survivor doesn't do that, then they must be a bad person.
Overlap 2: Someone within a spiritual or religious context reinforces the domestic violence. For example, saying that divorce is bad, and regardless of whether or not abuse occurred, the abuse survivor would lose their standing in the religious community if they divorce their abuser.
Does that make sense?
Yes, that makes sense.
I see the differentiation now. Im familiar with both of those unfortunately, and definitely see how the latter can be a problem for the devoted. Someone I know was clearly the victim of domestic abuse, but stayed in a long term marriage because of their commitment to their vows. And of course, 'divorce is wrong' was definitely a fundamental part of their upbringing. It was only when their pastor, who obviously was not a proponent of divorce, counselled that the crimes their spouse had committed were so egregious that it would be right to leave the marriage, that this person felt free enough to file for divorce. Very sad indeed. But in the end, one of the best decisions they ever made.
I think one of the big gaps in our particular congregation was that out of the hundreds of congregants I knew, there was not a single lawyer, someone to bring the issue to the forefront, and provide some legal counsel. And this isn't exactly a topic that pastors like to talk about in a Sunday morning service.
The one person I recall addressing spiritual abuse was 20 years ago and he was a well respected psychiatrist in the community. He was a member of our church and as soon as he spoke on the topic one day at a conference, he was in high demand in many other churches in the area because somebody finally spoke the words "spiritual abuse" and addressed the issue as a real problem. There probably have been many others since, but I no longer attend services so I wouldn't know now.
I'm sorry that they were put in the situation in the first place, but I'm so happy to hear that they received wise spiritual counsel.
There may have been some lawyers or social workers in the congregation, but they probably never had the opportunity to share what they know. And it's DEFINITELY not something that people like to talk about on Sunday mornings (or at all).
That's actually really amazing! I, myself, haven't heard the phrase until recently.
This is a wonderful thread! Thank you.
Can you elaborate a little?
You're welcome, thanks for "tuning in!" I PMd you yesterday saying that it got too late for me to reply, but then...it got too late again today. I'm breaking my personal rule so I can get an answer to you. :)
/u/chocobean gave some great examples below, particularly with respect to divorce. (I also mention this earlier in my answer to /u/gowestyoungman.)
Let's say that the abuse survivor is a Christian (since this is the context that I'm most familiar with, and because I'm giving you two real-world examples of things that were said to people that I know.)
Example 1: The abuse survivor isn't even thinking about divorce. She is just contemplating what to do about the abuse she is experiencing. She started living separately from her husband to give her some space to think. She goes to a Christian counselor at the church she is attending. The counselor says, "Repent, and go back to your husband."
Example 2: The abuse survivor's husband physically attacked her and tried to kill her. The VERY NEXT DAY, a church friend asked her, "So, what do you think forgiveness means in this context?"
For scenario 1, I personally don't give the benefit of the doubt that the counselor was "ignorant." Someone who purports to provide spiritual guidance and holds themselves out as a leader is held to a different standard (both by principle, but also according to the Bible. I am also aware that I fall into this category.) The person in scenario 1 had terrible "counseling" skills and worse theology, and God's going to hold them accountable to that. If the comment were made by a layperson (which does happen), though, I would say that they likely made that comment in ignorance.
For scenario 2, yes, forgiveness is part of the Christian faith. But also, let's maybe provide for the abuse survivor first? Like, "I'm so sorry that happened. I'm here if you want to talk," or, "Do you have a safe place to stay?" or, "Can I bring food for you and the kids?" Someone who has literally just experienced trauma isn't going to be up for deep theological discussions about forgiveness. It's not the time or the place. Also, Biblical forgiveness does not require reconciliation. This is one of the topics I discuss a lot because almost everyone gets this wrong. So the friend in this scenario kind of wanted to support the abuse survivor and showed care for the survivor's spiritual health, but did a pretty bad job of it all-around.
I have had this discussion about forgiveness with a spiritual abuser. Their main argument was about forgiveness, with the line, 'oh but that was so long ago, everyone should forgive, forget and move on from that' I drew them back to the verse, 'If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness" Even God says "IF we confess" and that the confession comes first, then the forgiveness. I dont believe there is forgiveness without confession and if the abuser does not confess, there is no obligation nor reason for the abused to do so just because a lot of time has passed. There needs to be an acknowledgement of the damage done, before the abuser can turn away from it. The abused may choose, in their own time, to forgive the abuser in their own mind and heart, for their own mental health, but there is no obligation to do so. What do you think?
Yes, you're right that the Bible has a model of forgiveness that starts with confession. There is a lot involved with "forgiveness" that people conflate into one word, but here's how I see it. (I read this in a book in college, but I don't remember the title for the life of me and can't find it anymore!)
Allowing for God's judgment. "'Justice is mine; I shall repay,' says the Lord Almighty." Forgiveness starts with allowing God to judge the other person's soul. This will have one of two outcomes: either the person is or becomes a Christian, and the punishment for the sin falls onto Jesus Christ, or the person isn't a Christian, and the person experiences damnation. Either way, the full wrath of God is doled out. This is an acknowledgement of God's Sovereignty, and our personal release of "our hold" over the other person. This is how, "in your anger, do not sin," can operate. God is the one who judges, and he is also the one who justifies. This first step does NOT require confession, and it also does NOT require reconciliation. This is entirely between the person who experienced abuse, and God. I believe this first part is commanded of us. God is patient, and He will work in our hearts over time. I certainly don't think it's something that God commands us to do immediately. But this is an important step when grappling with injustice.
Confession AND repentance. Confession isn't enough! Simply confessing that someone has sinned, without repentance, is just words. And what's repentance? Repentance is a "turning away" from sin. Spiritual abusers will often "confess" and say, "I'm sorry," and then expect everything to go back to where things were (reinforcing the abuser's position of authority without consequence). It's like when you tell a kid to say that they're sorry, and they roll their eyes and go, "OK, fine, I'm sorry." People who cause harm might confess but rarely repent.
In domestic violence situations where the victim/survivor says that they want to give the other person time to change (they won't), I encourage them to separate from the other person for a year. No one ever takes me up on the offer, so I often suggest 6 months instead. It's one thing for someone to say they were wrong, but it's another thing to take steps to correct that wrong.
If someone confesses and repents, the victim/survivor can say that they "accept" the apology. This doesn't mean that there aren't any consequences (like separation or legal action). This also doesn't mean that the two people are required to reconcile. By doing this, the victim/ survivor is showing mercy and extending grace. I don't see this as a specific command given in the Bible, but I do see this as a growth edge as someone grows and exhibits the fruit of the Spirit in their life. I would never tell someone they "have" to accept the apology, and even the act of telling someone they have to do so - in my opinion - is an act of spiritual abuse.
Reconciliation. If we confess our sins and repent, God reconciles us to him. This is the model that we're given. That said, reconciliation with sinful humans is rarely wise or safe. It makes for the kind of story that churches like to brag about, but the church needs to stop sacrificing congregants on the idolatrous altar of quick answers, grand results, and the church's pride. A trauma-informed approach helps the victim/ survivor determine whether or not it is wise or safe to reconcile. It almost always isn't. In a perfect world, sure, actual reconciliation would be great. But in a perfect world, the abuse wouldn't have happened anyway. I leave it as an option for the victim/survivor to discuss with me, but I am not a proponent of reconciliation. Instead, I normally point out the red flags that CONTINUE to remain, to try and prevent the victim/survivor from entering the cycle of abuse again. That said, a trauma-informed approach ALSO allows the victim/survivor to make their own decisions, even if they are bad ones.
Thanks!
The pressure to stay in an abusive relationship and to keep kids in an abusive home is real, and not just limited to Christians.
By the way, I'm perfectly happy to wait for a reply. You are under no obligation.
Waiting a day before sending a reply is a common recommendation here when things get... heated.
Oh, absolutely. I see it all the time in my legal practice. Kids are often the reason people stay, and also the reason people leave - just at different points in the timeline.
Waiting ten days to reply?
All right!
My man!
not OP but grew up in a "traditional" home. Stuff like "oh but he's the head of the household he's supposed to blah blah blah" or "you shouldn't go to a non-[fill in group name] counsellor they won't understand" or "well no matter what you can't separate or divorce it's sinful i'll pray for you instead" etc
Yes, I was wondering if that was what they were referring too.
I’ll spare everyone my relatively uneventful family life and offer this that usually garners a few questions:
I’ve been an automotive design engineer for 10 years, specializing in the design of emergency vehicles (fire trucks of all types, ambulances, mobile stroke units (ambulance with a CT scanner in the back), first responders, etc.). I’ve also been a firefighter/EMT for 13 years and get to actually use the products I help design. If you’re somehow interested, AMA!
Here’s a first question since I always get it:
I never thought of this myself until getting into the industry. Almost every truck is different! Cities and companies are constantly pitching new ideas to make their jobs easier or to accommodate some unique need. Likewise, technology (EV, crash standards, etc) is constantly evolving and we need to keep up to help everyone stay safe!
Sounds super interesting! What’s your favourite thing you have managed to change?
So with the caveat that “favorite” doesn’t necessarily mean “best” or “safest”, it was door handles on our EMS vehicles. It was a case of “they’ve always been like this, why change now?” Even though the younger generation of medics hated them and wanted them to represent and function like modern door handles.
From a safety side, it was the implementation of air bags almost completely covering the inside of the cab of a fire truck. Steering wheel and dash airbags were common but not curtain airbags, especially for the riders in the back. That was a painful yet rewarding project!
so....your job is about saving the lives of the people who save lives? :D
"Almost every truck is different! Cities and companies are constantly pitching new ideas to make their jobs easier or to accommodate some unique need."
So.....I'm guess there's a few basic "super flexible" design and then cities and companies can buy customization? Or like, totally different ? How much time do your clients spend on reviewing previous designs to see what existed that suit their needs vs just come right in and start from scratch?
So we see a little of both! We have “stock units” that one can come in and buy. Customization is dependent on price and time on those.
Most departments do custom builds to their spec. Engine, drivetrain, pump configuration, compartments, cab, etc are all up for customization. I’ve loved seeing some of the unique ways departments use the space they’re given. Front bumpers can hold a lot of things!
Can you elaborate what the old design was, and what you and newer EMTs wanted?
Old design was like paddle latches (think of a Husky toolbox in a pickup truck) that didn’t have much positive engagement with the latch. Passenger entry doors have regulations on them but not cargo compartments. Older boxes were known to fling their compartment doors open on wild turns and dump their contents!
The new style is more automotive with an actual handle to grab and pull outward. Much more robust with much better positive latch engagement.
Are there any trends in your industry that you aren't a big fan of? Anything you wish went a different direction design-wise?
The “computerization” of everything. Safety standards and sometimes customers ask for functionality on their electrical systems that either isn’t possible with standard switches and relays, or is very difficult and expensive. It’s super easy to just rewrite the program to say…change the emergency light flash pattern…but when something breaks, it’s much more time-consuming to figure out why.
What's something that surprised in designing emergency vehicles in comparison to everyday ones?
I work in the largest biomedical research institute in Europe, where we research cancer, influenza, tuberculosis, and more. If you want to be REALLY bored, Ask Me Anything!
Sounds cool, actually. How should a developer go about finding a job at a similar institution? If I could just write Python all day, managing and manipulating and graphing data for scientists, I think that would be a lot of fun.
My particular institute is not commercial and not tied to any corporate funding, so this isn't the place you go to make big money. It's a place you go for passion or as a stepping stone cuz it looks freaking sexy on your CV. If you're looking for money, you should go to pharma. We're the precursor to pharmaceuticals in that we figure out how disease affects the human body and pave the way for treatments.
If you're the sort who doesn't care about money, then it's really just a matter of demonstrating aptitude. We hire same as anyone, e.g. best person for the job. I'm in London, and obviously it's fiercely competitive here.
Edit: it's actually a heck of a lot of fun. We're kind of a weird cult.
Not to hijack LadyF's AMA, but I might be able to answer your question? I'm a Python developer for a research lab, but more focused on medical image processing tools rather than pure data analysis. (There's still a lot of data analysis present, but not the kind that pandas etc. is useful for.)
I found the job posting in the oddest of places. They seemed to be actively avoiding big job boards, and instead posting in niche area-specific slack/discord communities, niche developer forums, meetup groups, etc. We don't pay too well (non-commercial, no corporate funding, as LadyF suggested) and we're open source, so I think my supervisor was trying to filter out the Silicon Valley types and instead shoot for the weirdo interesting nerds. Something to keep in mind? (DM me if you wanna keep chatting about this!)
Hey, I like to think of myself as a weirdo interesting nerd. Definitely not the Silicon Valley type and very into open source. Are you guys fully remote? I live in a small vacation town (though I lived in big cities for years) and would like to stay put. I currently make less than I’d like at an in-person web dev position, but wouldn’t be adverse to a lateral move to something more in line with my ethos. Are there currently any opportunities at your company?
The majority of strides we've made are in skin cancers. That said, HUGE leaps have been made in other diseases when researching cancer treatments, almost accidentally. Especially auto immune disorders. It's not all an exercise in futility.
Cancer is your body turning on itself to your detriment. To cure cancer you need to stop that happening.
For the general "we are this close to beating cancer!" I think it's more of a matter of DNA editing. Body hacking. So no, unfortunately I don't think anyone is close.
Is this a job position, or are you associated with a PhD program or something similar? (I have never been to Europe and don't know how research funding works there.)
Are there any lines of research associated with wildlife-transmitted diseases in your institution? If yes, could you comment on that?
Are you responsible for your own research, or did you join an already ongoing project?
I just read this article on the use of horseshoe crabs in biomedicine. The US seems slow to adopt the use of synthetics, but it looks like Europe has embraced its use. Do you have any thoughts or insights on this?
I've heard about their blood years ago and the article title alone makes me super sad ;_;
I wonder what would it take to push the US to finally use synthetics as well? maybe a lawsuit? regulations? cheaper synthetics?
Do you do any research into treatments for aging? I've seen a lot of articles recently about biotech companies looking into things like telomere shortening. Is aging something that can ever be "solved"?
Yes and no. The no part: We don't do research with the aim of monetary gain. But if something has a commercial purpose on down the line... Great! Anti aging is a huge industry and one I don't know much about. The yes part: Technically a cancer is a result of aging in many cases. And we do research that in many forms.
Ahh I was working with someone from there a few days ago! There are at least a few of us bio people here :) Are you a postdoc? If so, how do you find it at a research institute rather than a university specifically? (I have friends who were at Pirbright, but they left for...reasons).
Without doxing myself and recognizing I forgot to check tildes for a month+...
I love it here. Having everything under one roof is an incredible experience. It's a weird little cult... I mean "community". But it's pretty amazing. :)
Haha don't worry, I just got back to tildes too. I'm glad you enjoy it! Frankly a lot of biological research places seem to be wonderful strange cults full of interesting people :)
What's your favorite Science Machine?
Haha my phone. :P You'd be amazed how much crap I Google.
I wouldn't be, I've worked in academia. Plus computers, handheld or not, don't count. I mean the big boys and girls. NMRs. X-ray diffractometers. Synchrotrons. Do you have a synchrotron?
Jeez I'm so sorry. I got super busy with work and neglected to check tildes. My apologies.
I need to be clear that we're not a traditional research center. It's not even private. Then again it's not wholly public either. What is her research area?
Again, appreciate this is over a month old. And I'm so sorry I neglected to answer!
IAMA mid level software engineer at Google. I work in Android. I can’t answer anything that pertains to upcoming functionality or products and anything I say is my opinion - I don’t want to give any idea that I represent Google. So generally I’m comfortable talking about culture, the interview process, or my personal career path.
I work in a small business where I have complete autonomy over IT infrastructure. Im currently being tasked with replacing an existing legacy ERP (written in FoxPro) with another written in Python/Django. My budget is essentially unlimited and I am under no deadline other than my own internal one.
I have two questions:
How lucky/unlucky am I?
When do I get to call myself a “developer”?Because I feel like an imposter most of the time.
pssst, we all do! The only reason it ever goes away is as you start mentoring people more Jr than you, and they express that same fear. Nobody knows everything, and there's always something new to learn. Anyone who says or acts like they know it all is an asshole and you should avoid them.
Pretty lucky! That’s exactly what I did (FoxPro to Rails) as my first big professional project. If you do not have any people around you with experience in software development then that will be your biggest issue. You’ll be making a lot of mistakes the first time around. I did - even with an experienced Rails developer seated next to me. Basics like “How do I test and validate work?” “Where do I start?” “How do I keep the database from accidentally getting fucked up?” come with experience.
I think if the majority of your time you work you’re getting paid to code then you’re a developer. You could just be a rookie developer at first.
Since you have experience with Rails, do you feel like Rails will continue to be a viable web framework for the foreseeable future?
I chose Django because I was more comfortable with Python, but Rails felt more mature and polished and slow moving. Which I like for an enterprise environment.
I haven’t used rails in a couple of years. But I think it should be a good choice for an app made today. I think you probably don’t need react or any big front end situation. So just a classic server-side rendered template UI will work great. That’s way simpler and you know the scope of functionality pretty well already. I think if you had no clue how far this could go (like if you were a startup building an app for an unknown market) then react would be a reasonable choice.
How much are AI-based software tools helping for your job, versus the many non-AI tools that came before? How happy are you with your tools, generally?
I think the tools available at Google are, generally, worse than the tools that a startup today can use. There are some exceptions - Google’s monorepo tech, code search app, and backing infrastructure for hosting Google-scale apps are all excellent. But they solve problems that smaller companies don’t need to solve.
The bespoke code editor, code review app, and other core tools are only good enough. When you know your users don’t have much choice you don’t have competition biting at your ass. So there’s less motivation to make those things excellent.
There are occasional features that delight me, though. When someone leaves a comment on a code change you occasionally get a magic “Implement this request with ML” button. That works really well. I’ve never seen it make a bad suggestion.
The equivalent of Copilot is maybe a tenth as useful. Still a net positive. But I think it’s a 1% productivity boost instead of 10%.
I occasionally use Bard (which has a special version trained on the internal Google search engine) to explain Google tech to me and that works really well. But for all other LLM requests I use ChatGPT. We can’t use GPT to generate code or feed it proprietary information. But sometimes I need to use something like Angular, which is public. GPT excels at intro level “How do I translate X React concept into Angular?” - using what I know to step into new tech.
I'm 15 years out of the software field. When I left, Agile development was the up and coming term. What are software teams like these days? Is verification and validation still a thing?
What exactly is agile?
I had a sales director try to bring it in to a sales team I was managing but he had no experience in it (according to him). So he regularly threw words around like “scrum meeting” this and “kanban” that. He was fired for lack of impact and work ethic. And that was the end of my exposure.
I’m an accountant and I’ve never worked with software dev which is where this all seems to stem from. I’m interested in the subject though.
So, for the "core" definition, you can refer to The Agile Manifesto. (it's a short 1 page read)
Most notable thing about that manifesto, it's not a formal process, and does not proscribe what anyone should actually do. There are many different ways of applying the philosophy of agile to an actual software development team, and none of them are wrong, and none of them are correct. When you start hearing managers or executives start throwing around terms like "agile" and "scrum" and "kanban", what they are most likely doing is Cargo Cult-ing. Which is to say, they saw or heard about another company being successfully, and that success being attributed to "agile", and now they want to mimic the dance to try and get the same results without understanding why anyone wand doing what they were doing.
I've worked in agile environments, and I enjoy it. I think it's a great philosophy for working in small steps on a large project, and making sure the client expectations (be they your own team, or an external client) is aligned with what is actually being built at every step along the way.
Fun fact, the picture on the Wikipedia article about Agile Software Development was taken at the place I worked at for several years, I know both the gentlemen in the article, and those shirts were not coordinated and that shot is not staged!
At its loosest definition: Agile development is simply incorporating principles that overlap with the manifesto that bears its name (The Manifesto for Agile Software Development). This generally reflects in behaviours like: Ship to your customers often, create a tight feedback loop to understand how your customers use your software, iterate quickly based on your customers' feedback, track your progress and performance.
Scrum and Kanban are two popular frameworks that development teams may adopt in order to start working in an Agile-like way, if they have no idea what systems and processes they need to support themselves. Unfortunately the proliferation of these frameworks (especially Scrum) have diluted a lot of modern software development into following the checklists that they're given, instead of actually understanding and living by Agile principles. In fact, a lot of it directly violates a fundamental, primary Agile belief: "Individuals and interactions over processes and tools"
As you are reading here in the various comments, the sales director was trying to bring in some elements of Agile. It's a particular culture around software development and getting things done without getting too loose nor too bogged down as a team. When I left, elements of it was popping up like new plants here and there in a carpet of grass, but had not proven itself anywhere nor delivered anything quite yet to know if this was a flower or it was a weed. :-)
That first question is a big one. As a software engineer I've worked in:
Each category did things in a different way. Local goverment was waterfall, university (I was only part time) was just "here's one thing - tell me when it's done and track your hours", startups were agile-ish, and FAANG is slow motion agile.
Google has more than 100,000 employees and there are so many different teams. Each team is pretty silo'd so I can't say what exactly is going on elsewhere in the company. But generally what I've seen is that teams work on a month-long "sprint" with "To Do", "In Progress" and "Done" categories for units of work.
The last startup I was at, which was only a little over a year ago, was much more structured in how they organized work. We had 2 week sprints with a formal task assignment before each sprint. Each task would get created/refined the week before.
I think the most important thing is that teams are small and you have one person who definitively owns what the team is doing and gives a shit about the work. They need to be on top of what's happening and where the team needs to be in the future. Outside of that your exact workflow isn't super important - although obviously there are poor fits for each situation. A startup should not be using waterfall for their go-to-market strategy.
What do you mean by verification and validation? QA? Formal verification?
Yes ... from black box functional testing, may also include unit testing, but from the user perspective. Does it work? or break anything new or existing? And also ensuring that the thing we made is as described in the specs we were given. Is this what you wanted?
That's what I mean...
Thanks
I'll chime in here. I also worked at Google, but it was many years ago so I'm out of date. Also, Google is a big place and I only know about what the teams were like that I worked on, mostly development tools.
Just before joining Google, I worked at a startup that did extreme programming (XP), which is a more hard-core version of Agile, back when it was more popular. At Google there were some teams trying to do Agile, but Google has a code review culture and that slows things down. I'd sometimes do multiple things in parallel waiting for a reply on code reviews. People would often work from home even then (years before the pandemic). I worked with people in other offices and we only occasionally met in person by traveling. So the teams I worked on were looser than the XP team was. Giving a team its own room and working the same hours seems important for group cohesion and it rarely happened. An in-person startup might be a better candidate for it, particularly if they hire people interested in doing XP.
There are a wide variety of ways to verify code. I saw a lot of static analysis and running lots of different kinds of tests automatically, and other kinds of testing becoming more popular like fuzzing. For big systems, though, there are some breakages that don't happen until deployed at scale, so gradual roll-outs and monitoring are important.
Not OP but I'll try to reply anyway. I've been working for 10 different companies in 20 years and they all started doing "agile stuff" when it became a trend. When I try to find another job, I actually expect the company to use Scrum.
AFAIK they still do agile and most of them use their own broken definition of Scrum. I say broken because the managers are often micro-managing which is not really agile. But, yes, agile is still a thing, especially Scrum because it's the modern version of waterfall management. Some teams use Kanban which is a lighter agile process where you have a bunch of tasks on a board and you do those tasks one after the other.
As for the verification and validation, it's mostly a bunch of unit-tests and manual tests, which is still better than no tests at all. Some companies have to take it more seriously though, for legal reasons, like the healthcare software, some embedded systems, or banks and money stuff. Those specific fields have to define a lot of different tests that must be done, validated, signed etc. In that case, you have unit-tests, manual tests, automated tests, ... a lot of tests but this time, it's official.
Which language do you use and prefer in your daily tasks? Also, due to the lawsuits with Oracle for the past 10-20 years, did Google thought of using Kotlin a long time ago, or was it a recent decision?
For stuff outside of actual production code I like to use Python and Bash. For production code most teams use Java. That's definitely not my first choice but also not my last.
No clue what legally-motivated decisions are going on regarding languages.
Do you enjoy working at Google? Are there jobs you would give it up for? Do you think tech/coding interviews do a good job of selecting candidates?
I like the life that working at Google provides. The work is definitely not terrible. For some it might be the perfect job. But I got into Software Engineering to learn as much as I possibly could about computers. I have not found the Google of 2023 to be a good place to meet that career goal. Startups can still pay very well (exceptionally well if you join one like Uber in the early stages), still have good work/life balance, and also provide a superior learning environment.
Like I said in another response - teams are pretty silo'd at Google. So people in a different department might have a very different experience.
Absolutely. I think I'm more of a small company guy. Not all small companies would work for me, but there are a lot of them. So there must be a few that would be perfect for me.
I think you need some of the traditional coding interview to properly filter out people that just can not write code. So in that sense they do a good job. I've interviewed at a lot of companies and generally I think their processes are grounded in reality. Google's process, having done it in person and later remote, works much better in person. You get more time between sessions to talk to the interviewers and also get an additional lunch "session" that helps to give you an understanding of the culture there. It's not perfect but they've kept it as they have for a long time because it's worked well for them.
I just don't get why we "need" coding interviews. Why isn't the fact that I have a degree and have worked at a tech company for many years good enough proof that I can code? It feels so different from other industries.
I’ve not seen a study on what happens when you don’t do a coding interview. Maybe your dud hiring rate is similar. Maybe all the talk about people getting nervous is mostly true. But this post rings true. Most candidates just can’t make something simple happen on a computer when asked to.
Heh, I work in Android as well, but on the other side. I've worked with both embedded linux and Android, and while initially I didn't like coming to Android from linux -- imo yocto is much better designed for how device manufacturing works in the real world -- I have to admit working in Android has been wonderful. adb is awesome, binder is awesome, logcat is awesome.
I'm in an awkward position of working in Android but mostly doing work in google3. I've been working on CI stuff that integrates between the two and it's crazy to me how I can go searching for prior art and there's so little out there. Like I think we are the only team now with a web service that spins up a cuttlefish instance to validate staging/autopush. Maybe a massive team like Play has a whole stack on their own for this. But I searched around for people using the standard Android testing services with 0 results.
As someone who's looking into switching companies, I'm curious if you have any suggestions on 'FAANG'-level companies with good pay and WLB. Or even any other companies/startups to keep an eye out for.
Thoughts on the whole interview process being a combination of leetcoding + system design + behavioral?
Much appreciated!
From what I've heard from friends/coworkers and experienced first hand:
Generally I think the interview process works. But a better interview would involve more code reading and comprehension and less writing of code. The best coding interview I ever took handed me a toy codebase with a few known bugs in it. They basically just gave me a list of 3-5 tickets and watched me fix as many as I could in 45 minutes. That might not be the best way to judge the work required of a very experienced engineer. But if you're going to do that kind of work it's a perfect emulation of the real job.
Awesome idea, I'll join in.
As I like to say to people IRL, I'm "indecisive about my hobbies". I'm primarily a software developer, but I also spend a fair bit of my time doing network engineering (I run my own Autonomous System).
Beyond that, I work as a Technical Director/Software Developer at an animation studio. I also fly drones, build keyboards, ride electric longboards, make electronic music, and am a HAM radio operator.
So, with all the preamble covered, AMA!
I'm thinking about building my own home server for file storage and torrenting. I don't know the first thing about remote management though! Do you have any material or site, or community, that would be useful for a complete begginer? For what is worth, I already am familiar to Linux systems and command line.
I'd recommend you take a look at Cloudflare Tunnels Its a neat product that can let you securely remote-access machines behind NAT (Like stuff hosted at home).
With that set up, you could then expose SSH through the tunnel for fairly simple remote-management without needing a static IP or anything.
Do you have a good resource for learning music theory (for lack of a better word)? I'm messing around in Ableton and have a good grasp of the software and can make music with drums and melodic samples. But I am completely stuck when it comes to making my own melodies.
Well.. no, not really. I've never liked music theory (despite taking many classes on it in school).
I realize that I should really get a better understanding of why things work in music, but so far my approach has been the following:
In Ableton specifically, I've found it really helpful to take pre-made melodies from the
Clipscollection and edit the midi into something new. Basically using the clips as a starting point for new loops and melodies.EDIT:
Another thought. I find it really useful to sit in front of a full-size piano and loop whatever section of a song I'm currently working on. After a bit of poking around, I tend to naturally find nice melodies that way too. If you have any kind of external MIDI controller, try experimenting with things in real-time while your track plays in the background.
Hey another hobby hopping pal! You've got a very similar list to my hobbies. I'm also an amateur radio operator, I make music in bitwig (made by ex Ableton guys) and do anything computer related.
For my question: what's you're favourite hobby that you haven't touched in a while?
Oo thats a hard one.
I recently got back into tinkering with keys, locks, and some lockpicking. Its a fun thing to know how to do, and I've been learning a lot more about how keys are cut and common bittings. If its something you've never looked in to, find yourself some Deviant Ollam talks on YouTube and enjoy the weird world of keyed-alike systems.
Also, I tried bitwig once, but just couldn't give up Ableton. It also runs so nicely in Wine I don't really see a reason to switch anyways.
EDIT:
If you happen to want to chat more about the things we both do, feel free to reach out here.
Oh man, that's a throwback, I used to binge watch security talks, LPP, Bosnian bill and Deviant Ollam all the time. Maybe it's time to bring out my picks and locks again :).
Ah that's fair. I discovered bitwig pretty early in my music making journey so I wasn't sold on a particular DAW and workflow yet. That being said however, I still occasionally miss some of the audio processing power that Ableton has.
I'm interested to know how the new Push 3 Standalone works. There's no way that thing runs embedded Windows right? ..right?
I assume its still actually running at lest the backend of Ableton, so maybe there is some linux-native build that exists in secret? Would be cool to see an official Linux build.
Okay so I looked into this, it looks like it's running an Intel NUC11TNK-i3. It looks powerful enough to run full fat windows 11 pro.
I think it's quite likely tbh (sadly) that it's running Windows 10 iot or some other MS enterprise product. It would be SO nice to have a Linux native version though. I would imagine that would work a lot better than with windows lol.
I hate the idea of windows running on that thing lol. I suppose I could reach out to them and ask. Wonder if they'd share more info on the software.
Hahaha same, it's seems like such a shame for such capable hardare running real time audio software.
Let me know if they ever get back to you. I'd love to know more about this!
What kind of software do you use for making electronic music and how did you start? Do you have any tipps for beginners?
Ok.. in order.
I work in Ableton. Its by far the best DAW I've used so far, and totally worth the price IMO. Learning curve on the interface is a bit steep, but the build-in manual is all you need to get going.
I started music-making in general as a piano player, eventually became a drummer, then pivoted to electronic production. I learned to use the following DAWs along the way (in rough order):
I think the best advice I can give is to listen to other people's work and try to replicate things you like. It is a great way to learn by doing and to keep yourself from falling into a cycle of creating essentially the same track over and over again.
I personally do a mix of listening to other people's finished songs, and watching a large number of YouTube videos by other artists. Bishu in particular has a pretty fun series of Ableton screen-captures where he makes songs in a time limit according to a specific theme. Always neat to see how other people go about things.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful answer! I don't really play any instrument so that might make it a bit harder for me. Your advice of starting with replicating things is great, I would have never thought of that myself though it seems so obvious now.
Hi :)
How did ya get into HAM radio?
At some point I found out about decoding NOAA telemetry with a cheap SDR and some python scripts. That lead me down a YouTube rabbit hole where I learned morse code, and eventually got my license. It was pretty much just a side quest, and now I hop on air whenever I have some downtime.
I am a performance engineer on the world’s fastest supercomputer, AMAA
Typically: a code isn’t running as fast as we’d like, or is crashing/ producing incorrect answers, etc. Sometimes it’s one you’re familiar with, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes they are large workloads with many dependencies and long complicated build / run processes!
For me, this typically turns into a scientific method-ish of measure (profile/debug), hypothesize what’s wrong, find a way to test, rinse and repeat.
On a daily basis I need to work with our assembly language, compiler IR, performance counters / other profiling methods, debuggers (GDB for GPUs), abstraction layers (e.g., Kokkos), and less often MPI, hardware microbenchmarking, BIOS’s, the Linux kernel, how it works with our hardware, our runtime, various libraries (e.g., FFTs), etc. The number of things I have had the chance to learn about is fairly astounding IMO.
Every so often you run into a problem that is just hard. I’m talking months of sustained effort to bring a problem that you observe maybe a hundred times at scale (80000 GPUS talking to each other does “fun” things sometimes) to be able to reliably reproduce the problem on a single node (server). The day that you understand the cause of a problem like that feels like magic.
I’m not actually sure. Never been there! I bet ORNL does some sort of tour of the facility, if you’re ever in the area tho.
The throughput of printk over a serial bus (about 8us/char).
Basically: when you get errors on a machine like this, you want to be able to see what happened even if the server crashes. Serial busses are a very old technology that let you have a side-band to the server and are very useful for this sort of thing. (Side note: they’re not actually serial buses anymore, just something emulating them AFAIK). But, the way you communicate over these is very restrictive (to reduce data loss I suppose, or perhaps because they’re older than me by decades). So the Linux kernel does an incredible amount of spin-looping to write over one of these… and sometimes that’s a really, really big problem.
O_O at the edge of my seat waiting for an answer
related: does anyone know cool science places that actually do public tours that we may not think are open to the public? In particular: Vancouver or Seattle since I'll be visiting soon.
https://www.ornl.gov/content/tours
:)
TRIUMF, a leading subatomic physics lab, home of the world's largest cyclotron particle accelerator, and entry point of the Rabbit line that Tom Scott made a video about, holds public tours. I've been, it's a pretty neat place.
I used to work for ORNL (at HFIR). I remember when that computer came online the transmission folks were already complaining about it using so much power lol
I’m pretty far removed from the power transmission side, but we like to joke that the best time to reach an exaflop was at night (less power going to cooling) :p
What kind of work loads does that machine crunch? That is, if you're aware of those details.
Also, is my thinking correct that super computers are mostly about economies of scale? That is, computationally, this machine is as useful as 10 supercomputers of 1/10th the size, only it's slightly more efficient to synchronize processes, and simplifies operations by having everything in one place.
Putting those two together, what are the kind of tasks that can be run on this, that can't be run on smaller (but still large ofc) infrastructure?
All sorts of things!
And more: https://www.exascaleproject.org/research/#software
The way performance scales to a thousand nodes isn’t so different than how it scales to ~9400. Folks will almost always run many ‘smaller’ runs before attempting to use the full machine, e.g., for parameter sweeps, or even just validation at scale (think: the only machine large enough to do certain functional and performance validation is the supercomputer). That and: it’s expensive (in terms of node-hours the scientists get charged in) to run on the full machine.
There’s some problems so large that you just need the full machine! One of my favorite examples was the recent (2021) Gordon Bell prize:
https://www.ks.uiuc.edu/Research/gb21airborne/
Which was a massive simulation of the protein spike for COVID. (Granted this was on Summit because Frontier wasn’t public yet, but part of last year’s prize winnner was run on Frontier: https://www.olcf.ornl.gov/2022/11/17/plasma-simulation-code-wins-2022-acm-gordon-bell-prize/)
Am I interpreting the Gordon Bell prize paper correctly that the simulation - a single run of it - is so large that you can only run it on the whole machine (or at least a large chunk of it)? As in, if you were to force it to run on a smaller machine, you couldn't fit all of it into memory, forcing you to stop frequently to page memory in and out, making it prohibitively expensive.
If so, that's exactly the kind of stuff I was looking for. I'm mostly familiar with ML workloads, where you can always run on a smaller system, but you lose speed dramatically because you can't run it on the GPU and you have to page memory (dataset and parameters) constantly. I had the kind of naive assumption that many of the other workloads you mentioned are relevant for supercomputing not because they hog the whole machine. Rather, you'd want to run so many independent runs of it that you need a lot of firepower to cope with that. But theoretically, there'd be almost no downside to running them independently on different machines. But yeah, large interconnected systems like physics-based simulations certainly qualify if you insist on sufficient resolution.
Thanks!
Correct. Apart from the memory requirements, it might also just run very very slow at smaller node counts. I.e., you’re speeding up the simulation by (strong scaling) running the same problem size over more nodes rather than weak-scaling (growing problem size with node count). Think: “doing less matrix multiplications per GPU” for a fixed model size.
You could also run the simulation at much lower resolution as well as you note. Typically MD codes like the Gordon Bell simulation I linked:
It’s not just a “cool large scale” thing either. Often the science is being pushed to these resolutions to actually understand what’s being studied! My background is in combustion, so a good example there would be LES studies of flame lift-off require very high resolution and high-fidelity combustion models to even get close (within 30%)
When I write code, my primary loop is:
I do this in small increments and it really helps that my programs are usually very small and take seconds to test and run, so the cost of making a mistake is tiny.
In your world, I imagine, it's a complete opposite. You have to be 100% sure of code function and quality because both resource and time costs are huge. How do you and developers around you deal with this challenge and what kind of tools do you use to speed up development?
It depends! I do a lot of stuff (most of my work) where I’m just noodling around in sublime, compiling and running on a single (or maybe a dozen) machines. There the pressure to get it right isn’t as high.
When you start talking about thousands of nodes though, that starts to become a scarce resource. You naturally do a LOT of smaller runs on dozens or hundreds of machines to building confidence / investigate / optimize performance/ debug etc. You also typically are working with a large scientific code that’s been run thousands of times and has years (if not decades) of development work put into it, so most of them have a lot of experience running at scale already.
There are also entire classes of tools created to do this sort of at-scale performance and debug work (e.g., HPCToolkit and gdb4hpc) though they’re not wildly different from what you might use on a single computer (see e.g., the “gdb” part of that name). The trick is that when running at scale, there is an immense amount of data being generated, and these tools are specialized to be able to handle that efficiently and visualize it in a way a human can understand.
You would be surprised at how far you can get with “single-node” techniques and clever filtering of the data though
I have been under psychiatric and psychological treatment for multiple diagnoses for the past 20 years. I have taken all kinds of drugs, gone through all kinds of shit, and read a lot over the years on the subject. I was never committed, but sometimes I wish I had been. When people around me get mental health issues, I'm the first person they talk to. AMA.
does it make you feel good or bad when people talk to you about their mental health issues?
who do you talk to about your mental health issues?
related to 2: do you worry about them worrying about you if you talk to them about your own health?
It is hard to put into words the joy of being useful to someone you love.
My doctor, my therapist, and my life partner. Sometimes friends, but their ability to help is limited by their knowledge. And that's okay. I won't give minute-by-minute updates, though. If people knew how many times I think about my own death every single day when I'm not well, and the gruesome images that come up in my head, their preoccupation would be impossible to deal with. If there's a wave of death going through my head, and I know it will go away, I don't tell anyone. It wouldn't do any good. There's only so much people can handle.
Yes and no. My close friends saw me at my worst, and it was so much worse than anything I go through now that it is hard to shock them anymore. 15 to 20 years ago, I might have died. Now, things can get rough and really bleak, but they know I'll survive and improve at some point.
Well fuck me, lou that hit me right in the gut. Very well put. Thanks for sharing.
It is not really possible for me to make an specific assessment on the healthcare industry because that is highly localized and I'm not in the US, which is where I imagine you're writing from.
That said, in my opinion, quality healthcare should be freely available to all. There should be rules to prevent abuse, but every health service should be at your disposal free of charge. That includes mental health.
The private health industry should only exist under strict regulation, as an option for those which would rather not abide by the rules of the public sector.
More specifically about mental diagnosis, those are notoriously difficult and prone to revision. That will be true at every level of care, and wouldn't be any different if you were rich. But you should get all support to navigate through your particular conditions without incurring in debt or avoidable suffering, getting all the resources you need to remain productive and financialy sound while you're not well.
It is also true that some doctors will overprescribe, but it's important to understand that overprescription and underprescription are two sides of the same coin. Some people are definitely taking too much medicine, but at the same time, some are getting less than they should, or none at all. That's a complex issue, and I try to avoid being anti medications because I may harm someone that really needs them. Conversely, you shouldn't expect everything to resolve through medication, so social intervention, psychotherapy, and physical activity must be considered as part of an overall treatment and prevention plan.
I know this is difficult, but we cannot dwell too much in the past. The feeling of lost time is common to many mental sufferers and I'm no different. The circumstances which prevented you from achieving your goals were not under your control, and the professionals that tried to help you were probably doing their best. Mental illness is not like an injured knee, there are no quick image exams that will tell you what you got. You should look for more adequate professionals, but understand that psychiatry is inherently imprecise due to the fact that the brain is not completely understood. Not to the same extent of your thumbs, at least.
The perception that psychiatrists oversprecribe is partly because most people don't do mental health check-ups and, due to a historical resistance towards seeking mental treatment and also as a consequence of illnesses which can, themselves, prevent patients from seeking help, the people psychiatrists actually see are usually the worst, longest, most serious cases. This is not to say that overprescription is not an issue, but it should put into a broader context. That is also very local, so it's possible things are very different in your location.
Some of our disatisfaction could be targeted at capitalism as a whole. That's a more complex matter, but, unfortunately, capitalism is only optimal for those at the top.
You should focus on the future, what you can actually do to improve your conditions. Maybe it's something small or silly, that you don't even consider worthy of your time. But it points somewhere good, gets you just a little closer to what you want. Decide what that thing is, and do it.
Good luck :)
Source: patient for 20 years. Talked to many psychiatrists and psychotherapists about these issues. Some reading.
Are there any stigmas around your mental illnesses/mental state that you've had to deal with?
And what kind of support (or even treatments) did you find the most valuable though these last 20yrs?
Sharing my diagnosis usually have little effect on people's expectations of me, for better or worse. Most have no idea what bipolar disorder, ADHD, or schizoid personality disorder even are, and trying to explain it to them is tiresome because those are complex issues and I can easily make them more confused than they were before. Even I required multiple resources to understand this. If it's someone close to me that I see all the time, sure, it's worth the effort. Acquaintances or even friends? Maybe if I'm in a good mood. I'll send links though.
I faced open discrimination only once. It was the start of my treatment and the meds hadn't kicked in yet. The director in a movie set was incredibly hostile and offensive, but, at the same time, the crew ralied around me and it was kinda beautiful to be at the center of that. The sound guy had a profoundly compassionate conversation with me, I'll never forget it.
The real problem is not that, but rather people that will expect you to conform to parameters of social performance and behavior that you simply cannot meet. Someone may think I'm arrogant because I didn't say good morning to everyone that day (because I'm schizoid, socially anxious and paranoid). Or an asshole because I phrased something in a way that was the exact opposite of what I was thinking (because ADHD makes it difficult to accurately convert thoughts into words). Maybe they'll meet me in the middle of a manic episode (cause bipolar), and generalize, from that, that I truly believe I am a God among men. And then they'll silently exclude me, making comments behind my back.
I won't know of any inside jokes. They won't invite me to their gatherings, they won't consider me for collaborations, nor will they call me when there's an opening in their projects. I may be in physical proximity to them, but I'm not part of the group.
This is not exclusive to mental sufferers, everyone can be the target of those that make a sport out of judging everyone for (often minor or imagined) perceived slights, ostracizing the different and inadequate from their little clubs with no recourse or second chances.
That is one reason I make a point to defend charitable interpretation, tolerance, reserving judgement, and giving people second, third, fourth, numerous chances. I try to give people the same chances I so need myself. If you do that, you run the risk of becoming kind, loving, and compassionate. Is that so bad?
Mmm, I don't think I've thought about this in the context of mental disorders. Ability to conform to performance and behavior is something more often I see related physical disability rights. Ability to meet "social performance" standards being a less concrete concept. In terms of accessibility, tolerance being parallel to a wheelchair ramp, if you will.
This is a very interesting perspective to read, thanks for sharing.
Damn. You just put into words some feelings I've had for about as long as I've been self-aware. I sometimes view my life in terms of social experimentation; beginning with wild shots in the dark and slowly learning what works and what doesn't. As I enter my third decade, I feel as if I finally have some grasp and some degree of control over the way I am received (and perceived). It's been a lifelong point of frustration for me that people's opinions of me seem to be miles from the image I thought I was presenting.
This is something I struggle with. Despite being acutely aware of my differences, I get pretty irritated by what I perceive to be illogical arguments and opinions. I have a hard time translating my thoughts to speech anyway, then when I'm frustrated I do an even poorer job of presenting and explaining my argument, so it goes. I often feel ganged-up-on when I'm arguing something that seems logically self-evident to me.
I really appreciate you taking the time to write about this.
Thank you for your post, it's very helpful for me as my spouse is ?neuro-divergent (labels are hard and descriptions harder) and what you've written reminds me how important tolerance is. I too often feel sad because of our interactions, which is a reflection on me and not on my spouse, to whom I'm very fortunate to be married.
Great idea! I spend most of my days working in TV production. More specifically the technical part of post production for documentaries and factual.
Occasionally I also do a bit of colour grading here and there, which not a lot of people think about. Most of the time if everything goes right people shouldn’t notice that I’m there. AMA
Is it true that most of the animal sounds in animal documentaries are simulated instead of sounds of the actual animals shot on location?
Absolutely. When you’re shooting on really zoomed in lenses really far away it’s very hard to record sound. In fact, most sounds except dialogue is added in
awww :) how do they know what sounds to put in, re-producing better sounds from the really poor quality in field ones or just...kinda...best guess made up?
Do you cringe when watching something on TV and you can tell it was poorly produced, that no one else can really tell?
Most of the time guesswork, or a good archive library. And it’s not often, but very occasionally some shows forget to grade a shot or 2! The tell for this is when all of a sudden there’s one extremely washed out shot among lots of normal looking ones. Nothing close to what I work on, but have noticed it a lot on RuPaul’s Drag Race
What does the technical part of post production include? I don't know a lot about that topic in general but I admire all the people who have the patience to put everything together until there's a whole movie/documentary finished. Especially the audio and cutting part. That must be very difficult to get everything on point since there often is so much material?
A big part of my job is making it easier for the very talented people cutting. from basic stuff like networking to workflow (using low res versions of the footage to edit, then assembling everything at the end, making sure multiple editors can collaborate on different episodes from the same series without doubling everything up etc).
Other bits include making sure all our archive is available to pull from, as well as searchable. You would be surprised how little is actually new material in some cases. Occasionally the whole thing will be archive with a new voice over on the top
That also sounds really complicated, especially assembling everything and that nothing will be doubled.
With the archive that's very interesting. Will look out for that from now on when watching documentories.
I work in filmmaking software but have no stake in the game as I'm pretty lowly on the pecking order, so I'm a little curious: what is your go-to coloring software and/or host application?
Very interesting! I tend to stick to Davinci Resolve. I’m at a Premiere facility so it just makes the most sense really. Been wanting to try it out for a full edit as well though
I came to this thread expecting every comment to be “IAmA sysadmin AMA,” so color me pleasantly surprised at all the diversity of careers in this community.
Anyway, IAmA sysadmin, AMA.
I have met 2 sysadmins in my life and they were a bit grumpy, are you grumpy too? Is it because of the users?
I bet it's that pesky uptime SLA!
It reminds me of a friend who did uptime contests with other people. We were young and stupid, and Linux was getting popular. He had a network of 5 computers in his own bedroom (with hardware switches, and ISDN connection IIRC, and a lot of great stuff), and one Debian machine had an uptime of 2 or 3 years when I met him.
Ironically, while long uptimes were braggable in the past, nowadays they’re seen as a bit of a red flag since it means that you haven’t updated at least the kernel in a long time.
I think it’s hilarious how one-upping each other’s uptime counters is your “oh how young and foolish we were” story.
It would all depend on the management environment and whether the sysadmin feels supported in their role, although certainly it’s traditionally been common for sysadmins to be a bit grumpy. I fortunately have a great environment, but the common case in the past would be a place where you are overworked and nobody appreciates how much work goes into keeping things running, they only get angry when things break. In bad organizations with developers, there can also be tension there since some developers don’t understand the slow and methodical way sysadmins do things, typically for security, performance, and maintainability reasons.
I think that’s improved somewhat over the years with organizations realizing how critical IT is to their continued functioning, and becoming aware that security policies are actually reasonable and good after a lot of organizations have had high profile expensive losses due to breaches.
It’s also the case in some orgs that you are expected to do everything: not just the gamut from tier one user support to maintaining the servers, but networking, printers, phones, and nearly anything else that “needs doing,” since sysadmins are often “doers.” Sometimes people expect them to fix copiers or anything else electronic, or even move furniture.
On top of all that, the type of people who are interested in the work often tend to be less social to begin with.
I work for one of the only textile companies that supply cloth to the military. AMA about modern textiles (specifically woven greige cloth)!
Disclaimer: I'll try my best not to doxx myself, as it's a relatively small industry.
Edit: US military. Let a bit of US Defaultism slip. My bad.
re: greige
wikipedia says.... "Greige goods are loom state woven fabrics, or unprocessed knitted fabrics."Grey fabrics" is another term to refer to unfinished woven or knitted fabrics.
Can you comment on durable fabrics for backpacks etc, and another kind for actual wearing? Where can regular civilians get it for cheap? Looking for tips to buy good quality fabric for making durable stuff or just straight up wearing.
Unfortunately, since we make the unfinished cloth (raw, not dyed, and not sewn), I don't know if any of it goes out to general consumers. Primarily we make military and work wear uniforms, with a bit of flag fabric as well. After we weave it, we send it off to the "finishers" who process it and sell it.
As far as quality goes, in clothing ring spun yarn is typically softer feeling and a bit stronger. If it doesn't say ring spun, then it probably isn't, because that's typically a more expensive process. Most of our cloth is a nylon-cotton blend, which isn't terribly comfortable but will absolutely last. The only raw backpack fabric I've personally seen is completely nylon, so I can't comment as much on that.
How did you get started in such a niche field?
It was honestly a last choice thing. It was either work "on the floor" there as a weaver or work at McDonalds. I've gotten a couple promotions along the way that make me pretty happy with it, though.
I'm a long boom crane operator. Big lattice boom crawlers and telescoping boom rough terrain cranes primarily. Some days I sit in the cab and play my Nintendo switch or steamdeck all day if they don't need a lift, but usually I'm moving around the job site, getting the rig properly set up with my oiler (apprentice/assistant) assessing the pick and the risks it might involve, and then I just send it.
AMA
I got to work with some crane operators when I trained in structural collapse rescue! Seems like a pretty cool job, in terms of the skill you learn in "getting something from point A to point B safely".
Can you tell me a few of most memorable/odd/interesting things you've ever lifted?
The one that sticks out, was the first time I maxed a cranes capacity out. The piece was about 36,000 lbs and had to be about 155' away from the crane. I was at about 99% of maximum capacity at that radius and it was a very interesting feeling.
As far as interesting items? Eh. Not many really. I've flown big excavators into trenches. Lifting equipment with equipment can be fun.
So if the piece is 36000 lbs and its 155' away (which sounds hella far to move something that heavy) do the dynamics of that load change if the piece is only 1' off the ground than if it's 20' off the ground since the load is only moving vertically? Do you have computer controls that would stop you from going over the tipping point or is it completely up to the operator? How do you know you're at 99% capacity - is it monitors, audibles, or mostly 'feel' at that point?
Modern cranes use a LMI computer (load moment indicator) which utilize load cells to calculate load on the crane, and a cable stretching the length of the boom detects boom length and angle, from which it extrapolates the radius of your load.
As I boom down and cable up, moving the load away from the crane while keeping it's height the same, I can watch the listed capacity on my computer getting smaller and smaller, and on most cranes there will be an indicator for percentage of capacity. There are green yellow and red lights that progressively let you know if you're getting close. The computer is an operational aid, not a safety device, and is no replacement for making hard measurements and consulting your paper load charts.
The height of the load does not change capacity or load dynamics. If you're getting close to max capacity, it's wise to be close to the ground. If you start to tip, and the load bumps the ground, you can set the load down and hopefully the crane settles back into place without damage. But that's more of an emergency maneuver than everyday practice. I've personally never had one get that close to tipping and prefer not to.
You have Bart Simpson (and a lot of our) dream job.
How did you get into this field?
Are you the guy making sure the truck isn't going to tip over?
have you used the crane to rescue other cranes (say, out of a mud pit) before?
My partner saw my pitiful paychecks and how miserable I was and was like "babe, you need to get into the trades" and I signed up for an apprenticeship.
We don't like it when things tip over.
I haven't rescued cranes with a crane, but I've certainly assembled lots of cranes with a crane.
How do you put cranes up? Is it with another, bigger crane? Please tell me it's with another crane.
The big lattice boom crawler cranes are usually marketed and engineered as "self erecting", but the process always goes smoother with an assist crane, which is typically a smaller crane, since you're usually only picking smaller pieces of the bigger crane and attaching them. Stacking the counterweights, lifting boom sections into place, lifting and attaching the crawler tracks themselves (depending on the rig those are like 50-100k lbs each)
I love this excellent idea.
I am a former firefighter/paramedic who spent a decade in the field of a medium-to-high volume 911 system. I got to see and do a lot while in the field. I also became an instructor in hazardous materials response, and technical rescue (rope rescue, structural collapse, vehicle extrication, etc). Now I work in a local emergency department as I complete the pre-requisites to apply for medical school and try and pursue a second career as a physician. AMA!
How did you handle high stress situations? Can you share any tips for staying calm in the middle of a crisis situation?
A part of it was definitely repetition and training, but it was really compacted by good leadership.
Training/firefighter school taught me "what to do" when I pull a hose into a burning house. And we practiced it so many times that I knew the steps beyond any possibility of forgetting them. But the first time you actually roll up on a real house that's rocking and rolling, not just a controlled training burn in a concrete building that cannot collapse, it definitely gets a bit more unnerving and real. Fortunately I had some excellent officers in charge of me as a new guy, who reminded me (told me) exactly what to do, stuck me on their hip and told me to stay with them, and we would walk out just like we walked in. Good leadership really boosted my confidence enough to "take the plunge" and go into the dangerous situations. Then over time my confidence in those situations grew, I later was promoted to the rank of officer and led others in the same way. To summarize, I think it was immersion in the high stress situations that acclimated me to them so well. Repeated exposure over time led it to eventually be no different than any other normal task one might complete. But in the early stages, it was about focusing on the job at hand, not the hazards or risks surrounding it.
Repeated practice seems to be very useful in internalizing the steps you're supposed to take. Having good experienced leaders who give you the opportunity to grow is something I've found to be instrumental in my own career too.
Anecdotally, Ive never thought about firefighters often other than knowing they're on call if we need them. Three weeks ago a wildfire started just 3 km from our home. It burned rapidly up the hill behind our house and into our subdivision. It was only through the non stop, no sleep efforts of the local firefighters for three days, that our home and most of the homes in our subdivision came through unscathed. Four of my neighbors were not so lucky, but I know now that they did their absolute best to save as many as they could. We are ALL very conscious now of how important your job is, and how what you do means a lot to the people you serve. Thank you for being a firefighter!
Happy to have done it! Although I worked in a very suburban area, we had occasional grass/wildland fires, but the majority of fire that I fought was structural. Wildland firefighting is a whole nother beast, so much so that there's a different set of training for it. Mad props to those guys and gals, it's insanely difficult work, way more difficult than structural firefighting in terms of actually containing/making progress towards extinguishing the fire, imo.
As far as I understand, the crazy part is that there were over 100 wildfires in our province at that time and all the wildfire guys were busy all over the province, the province was bringing in wildfire crews from as far away as South Africa (!), so the guys in our subdivision were the local fire crew, used to structural fires and grass fires, but not wildfires. Which makes it even more amazing that they saved as much as they did.
Ive lived in six countries; never in a single place for more than two years until now, never held a single job for more than a year, started six companies (seven next month), dropped out of school at 14, spent the covid years doing 20h figure skating every week, and I miss having time to play video games.
Last month I was officially diagnosed with ADHD. AMA?
What's been your favorite place to live so far?
Brussels, where I currently live. It's the only place I really picked with purpose: I did a significant pros and cons list, with many cities, until I settled on Brussels.
I don't regret it; it's perfect for me.
Other cities on the list: Amsterdam, Lille, Lisbon, Toronto, Stockholm, Bucarest, Zurich, Berlin, Copenhagen.
What was living in Stockholm like, it seems like a nice city, from my (albeit limited) second-hand experience with it. I wouldn’t mind hearing your thoughts on other the cities on the list too.
This list is cities where I wanted to potentially move to. I didn’t live in all of them. But I did live in Stockholm!
It was wonderful. My lifestyle and personal preferences were very compatible with the weather and long winter nights. I loved having thick snow in winter. It’s a beautiful city with loads of islands each of which is radically different from the other. I had a great experience there.
But I went back there to skate earlier this year and I think it shattered my illusion. I didn’t have a good time in the city itself. It was too large, too dead. I felt disconnected from it and didn’t see what I had seen in it the last time I was there. I left thankful for living in my dear Brussels.
Why have you moved around so often? Was it work related, or were just searching for the place that fit you?
What kinds of companies have you started?
Yes to both. Parents moved around a lot, and I followed that. I also love that I can do that as a European citizen, and I believe it's my duty as someone who can, to therefore do, as it is an incredible opportunity.
However after doing that for 28 something years, I decided to settle somewhere, thus the list and the pick.
Video game data analytics, Investing, Consulting, Video game media, Accounting/Bookkeeping (Private alpha), Startup tech (funding stage), plus some others that didn't make it. Oh, and of course, a ceramics studio for my partner.
My dad’s from Scotland, and did something similar for 10-ish years when he was younger. Except he decided the continent wasn’t far enough away and came to the US. I don’t know all the details but I do know he spent time in several different states, Denmark, and Australia before he married my mom and settled down.
My sister-in-law has recently gotten really into ceramics. She decided to take a class just to get out of the house because she WFH.
It's not super exciting but I work in marketing, I left my job at an agency recently that used to work with some big clients (Fortune 500 big). Ironically, I hate being advertised to. After seeing what went into paid advertising and the money that goes into it and funds a big part of Google/Meta, I wanted to stay as far away from it as possible. I found my 'ethical' marketing space in working with emails and other direct channels and I like making customer journeys that are helpful to people who have given consent to receive communication.
Apart from that, what I'm most interested in right now is PKMS (personal knowledge management system). On the surface, it's a note-taking system but it's almost like externalizing your brain. After using many scattered paper and digital apps over the years, I settled on using a single system and app and it's been transformational. I love to write and it's great to be able to connect thoughts, ideas, and anecdotes, and come up with unique observations. I'm experimenting with a hybrid of Zettlekasten and PARA (two PKMS organizational ideologies) right now. This system forms the basis of all the other interests I explore.
re: PKMS
Today I learned about PKMS -- There seems to be a lot of ADHD people here on Tildes.... Can you briefly talk about a system you suspect might be useful for us, and share some starting-point resources on the subject?
re: ethical marketing
I only know of "sign up for mailling list" and then using software to send blasts, maybe tracking a campaign with each email, click through rates, transaction completion and how many people un-subscribed after this email etc.
What are some lesser known ways people can ethically get ideas out to the general public?
The selling point for me for PKMS was that all the time I spent consuming random information, I could store in one place, process it over time, and build over a chain of thoughts. While I discovered this through Sonke Aherns' book, How to Take Smart Notes, I found its explanation of Zettlekasten a little confusing. I found David Kadavy's Digital Zettlekasten book more comprehensive in giving you the complete overview of how to use the system. Zettlekasten is a better PKMS system if you consume a lot of varied information and don't necessarily have projects you're actively working on and systematically doing research for. The Zettlekasten philosophy is by the time you actually sit down to write something, you would have already collected your thoughts on a number of related topics and have enough for an outline so you don't start from scratch.
But, in case you work on active projects with deadlines, PARA is a better system and Tiago Forte's Building a Second Brain book is a great place to start. It's more useful for work since projects come and go and once you're done, you won't be looking at it again. I'm partial to Zettlekasten but it still gave me ideas I can implement (having open Areas like finance to track bills or other financial responsibilities).
In terms of tools, I use Obsidian on my laptop which syncs with my phone through Google Drive. It's replaced three different apps I used to use, plus it's all markdown files so in case you want to shift to a different platform, you won't be restricted (unlike Evernote or OneNote).
Getting sign-ups for a mailing list in itself is a big deal. There's also software that combines email capabilities with a lot more data, especially if it's a D2C site. D2C sites have a lot more data available on customer behaviour through customer data platforms (CDPs) that track clicks, time spent on pages, add-to-cart actions, and of course purchases and give a complete overview of any user on the website (even the ones that don't sign up and drop off).
There are no general ethical ways I can list because it's highly dependent on what you're trying to market but a good recommendation is finding where your potential audience might be and reaching them there. I have seen many companies also successfully marketing through shoutouts/sponsorships in newsletters. Content marketing is also a good option but the blog route is a lot more work now since Google's algorithm is still iffy and filled with sites gaming their SEO algorithm.
I’m checking out Obsidian now. I need something like this to help organize the different things I research for the different aspects of my job. Thanks!
I hope you find it useful! There was another thread recently discussing other tools too. There's plenty of options depending on what features you might like, but as long as the tool is good enough that you can manage to use it efficiently, any of them will do.
Edit: Here's the link to that thread with tool recs.
IAMA: Guest Services/Front Desk Agent at a boutique hotel in central Montana. I'm also an Army Brat and have a degree in Theatre.
What is the weirdest thing you’ve seen at the hotel you work at? I have worked in various industries, but I’ve always been curious about what the hospitality industry is like.
I do see a lot of characters. I think the intoxicated man who skinny dipped in the hot tub is pretty high on the list, though I think the guy who told us "he liked raw meat" and then used the microwave to defrost a steak and consumed it leaving a mess is probably one of the oddest things.
We get the usual left behinds too, like drug paraphernalia and a couple guns...which is disquieting. I think the funniest one was a device that is supposed to make it so you don't get caught smoking in the room, it REEKED and didn't do a damn thing.
I’m not sure how anyone could think there would be a device that can keep you from getting caught smoking in the room. Smoke and nicotine smells horrible, it’s a strong smell. It also leaves a sticky residue on everything. I guess it just goes to show how dumb people can be though.
I worked for Apple back in the day when people thought a software update would make a phone waterproof, or allow them to charge their phones in the microwave.
Yeah, it is amazing how the ability to read/use common sense goes out the window when people are out of their element. Though the device is labeled as a "personal air filter" and you are supposed to breathe the smoke out through it. It's called a "Smoke Buddy". I think the item is definitely preying on desperate people.
How did your job change during and after the pandemic? (If you worked there that long.)
I wasn't in hospitality during the Pandemic, I was a grocery clerk. Both are public facing though so I can comment on my work during that time. And we still have measures for cleaning that are more stringent at our hotel. We clean with 70% Alcohol for sanitizing, and rooms must be deep cleaned every three days, on top of the normal cleaning process. This means that we go in and strip everything out and fully clean everything after 3 nights of use.
At the grocery I found that we were understaffed for the increased sanitizing, and in rural Montana it was hard to not be on someone's nerves mask wise, wearing one bothered some people and not others.
What does your job as a front desk agent involve, beyond checking people in and out? It’s a job I’ve considered doing in the past and am curious what it’s really like.
I went out of town for my weekend (Mon Tue) so I'm back where I can reply. My particular hotel uses the front desk as the information center, so when housekeeping finishes their rooms myself or a manager will go do the final check and make sure everything is as it should be for a guest checking in. I also answer the phone and act as a concierge giving advice about local attractions and places to eat/do things. There is light cleaning as the lobby is the Front Desk's responsibility as well as the kitchen. My job in the afternoon is checking guests in and deals more with putting away dishes left from breakfast and the morning shift tends to be focused on getting breakfast out and check outs. I'm also involved in invoicing for companies that have negotiated rates with us. I make reservations and do courtesy calls to make sure people don't forget they have a reservation (this is not an industry standard, it's just something we do here as a little above and beyond the norm) We have a gift shop so I make sales for that, make coffee, chat with guests. I have a lot of fun at my job, but finding the right property/company is crucial for that. In my previous work in a corporate hotel I was much less happy.
I have:
AMA
What is a "VR chemotherapy simulation"? Like, a "what to expect when you're expecting chemo" tour for newly diagnosed?
About 5 years ago I've heard some medical tech folks talk about AR/VR as a "gimmick" for hospitals to spend big bucks on, mostly to impress the surgeons and/or rich donors -- How is AR/VR being perceived by med-tech nowadays?
Our specific project was to create a simulation where a practicing nurse or nursing student would be giving IV chemo to a patient, and there was a vesicant extravasation (the IV line missed the vein). The simulation then walked them through what the signs and symptoms were, how to diagnose it, and how to treat it. This was a great use of VR due to it being difficult and/or unethical to simulate this in real life, as it doesn't happen all that often. When it does happen, it is very easy to correct and treat if it is caught within an hour or two. If the patient goes home for the day though, Very Bad Things start to happen.
AR/VR in med-tech in general is pretty huge (from my perspective). Simulations and models have historically been used quite heavily in medical education, ever since we decided that practicing procedures on real living humans was a sketchy thing to do. So immersive AR/VR is a really useful tool.
The tech covers a wide range. Everything from simple informational AR overlays, all the way up to realistic VR surgery simulations using a patients actual MRI/CAT scan data.
One of our other projects was to help the existing simulation center at the UM hospital setup training using the Microsoft Hololens. Students could then come practice things like inserting an IV or doing a spinal tap, using actual equipment and a test dummy. The Hololens provides an informational step-by-step AR overlay of the equipment and medical dummy to show them exactly what to do. They can then practice the procedure at their own pace, for as many times as they want to feel comfortable. And one of the most critical, they can do this entirely unsupervised, which drastically reduces the faculty time needed to walk students through the procedure.
what makes giving IV chemo different compared to inserting any other IV?
Blanket disclaimer : I'm not a doctor, I'm not even a medical student.
Chemotherapy drugs in particular are pretty nasty chemicals. Their goal is to poison a person very slowly in a controlled manner and hope the cancer cells die first before the person does. If they get into the wrong part of the body do something different than they were intended to.
If you miss the vein with an IV, then the fluid will get pumped into the muscles/fat/interstitial tissues instead of the circulatory system. If this is something simple like saline, the patient might feel some discomfort, but the body will absorb the liquid and will generally be ok.
With a chemo drug, what happens instead is the cells directly around the IV site absorb the chemo directly instead of via the circulatory system. This results in rapid cell death and tissue necrosis around the IV site as all the cells rapidly die. The kicker is, because of the way some (most?) of the chemo drugs work, when the cell dies and falls apart, it will release the chemo drug it had absorbed. That re-released drug will get absorbed by the next cell, killing it and continue the domino effect.
The good news is it's really easy to fix if the nurse administering the IV notices and gives an antidote within an hour or two. So that's what the training was focused on, was recognizing it when it happens and what to do to correct it.
What made you decide to run a cybercafe in Korea? I hear the food options are very interesting compared to cybercafe culture in other countries.
Sorry didn't mean to imply I was in Korea, just wanted to give an alternate name some might find more familiar. I actually ran them while living in Arizona.
AMA, I’m a nearing middle age weightlifter. Not a powerlifter even though I also do the big 3: squat, deadlift and bench.
Unfortunately my job probably wouldn’t be safe to do an AMA on and weightlifting is my only hobby atm.
My fantasy now is that you’re one of the swole guys protecting a world leader.
Nope not quite that important 😅
How's your weightlifting changed as you've gotten older? And tangentially related, how do you work on your form? I don't really know any other weightlifters in real life and am curious to hear from someone that isn't in a youtube video!
Instead of doing whatever I felt like early on, (I started in 2021) I followed a much more structured program by doing PPL. I know exactly what exercises I’ll be doing each day. I also started using an app to track each exercise and my reps and RPE. I feel like currently it’s pretty structured, but still leaves room for switching out an exercise in case a machine is broken, or if I want to do a variation of something. Hopefully that answers that question?
I work on my form by, oddly enough watching YouTube videos. But not just anyone, I try to gravitate towards creators that also use science to back up why they’re performing an exercise a certain way. Jeremy Ethier and Jeff Nippard come to mind. Also if I feel like something isn’t working, I’ll Google a brief search on how to do let’s say cable crunches better.
If I’m familiar with a fellow gym goer I’ll ask them to check my form, too if I’m feeling bold.
Great idea @JurisSpecter!
IAMA manager of a team of software developers. I've got over a decade of experience in tech, starting as a dev myself before transitioning into management. I've worked for several companies across the spectrum of small startups to large 10k+ orgs.
AMA about tech, the transition from dev to manager, or whatever you'd like my opinion on! :D
What made you want to transition into management? Did you receive special training or credentials when you made this transition, or has it been mostly learning on the job? I am not in tech but rather academia, but a common problem here is that we have large projects being managed by people who actually have not had much formal management training. It leads to variable outcomes.
Well my transition into management was pretty straightforward (more than other devs that I have supported through the transition after me). As a software dev we are always interested in efficiencies and scaling, and when this thinking is turned inwards towards ourselves and our teams it is natural to think about how can we become better, more efficient devs and teams of devs. I always leaned towards solving the people and process parts of this equation: Mentoring others to help level up their performance; facilitating discussion and iterative improvements to our team's processes; and helping everyone understand what we're consciously optimizing for and how to flag when we see opportunity or risk.
As I was going through this transition I also had a group of fantastic mentors: Managers beyond my direct lead who had already walked the path and who I could ask all about what their job truly entailed. There were differing levels of formalized training offered by employers, depending on their respective size and maturity. I also consumed a lot of learning resources myself during my own development time. Books like The Manager's Path by Camille Fournier were helpful in understanding just what I would be signing up for as a set of daily expectations.
What you describe reminds me of the Peter principle: "...people in a hierarchy tend to rise to "a level of respective incompetence"". Management in software development (project or people leadership) is no exception to this. We've all seen our share of bad managers who were only promoted because they were outstanding individual contributors and now they no longer understand how to navigate their new role. One critical piece of learning from my journey so far is that now that I am in a position of leadership and responsible for growing the leaders of tomorrow, I have a direct influence in combating this issue within my teams and org by being upfront and clear with those who seek to walk the same path as I have. I will be directly responsible for generations of managers and what their reports think of them long after I'm gone, and that's a huge responsibility I do not take lightly. :)
My company is a SaaS start up for a very niche field of aerospace engineering, and as a result it's nearly impossible for us to find a project manager. I'm considering picking up skills to fulfill that role in the next year or so, since we are making do but are expecting to grow rapidly soon.
My questions are:
Thank you.
Thanks for your questions!
Project Managers tend to be high-level planners and constantly thinking of how to optimize the internal (and often despised) feedback loop of "project status". They need to be able to interface with all stakeholders and teams lending their efforts to a project's ultimate success. This means they tend to be highly organized generalists: Able to nimbly connect with engineering teams doing the work, then distill and synthesize outcomes that have been reached into a format that non-technical teams can make use of. A hypothetical example might be: Eng just made this new feature available on the staging env, that gives Product Marketing the chance to test drive and start building out the copy for how we're telling our customers about this. Support will also need to know what's expected functionality and what is probably a bug, so let's make sure that dependency is worked in and sequenced appropriately... etc
Unfortunately I'm not aware of any formal courses, but a good skill-testing exercise is to map out a current or recently completed project on a calendar and think about all of those intersection points: When does someone need something from someone else? What other dependencies are linked there? What's the "critical path", and what happens if things take longer than expected? Are there any creative solutions to avoid blockages, or to ensure that everyone has the right level of working context for their dependencies? (That last question is where I see really good Project Managers shine :D)
I always advise folks to figure out a systematic way of processing all of the potential inputs that are pulling on your attention. That way things are both out of your head, and entered into a system that you can determine how to improve and iterate on. For example, a starting point might be:
At the beginning of each day I will review my task list (use whatever tool makes sense for you: Pen+paper, Asana, Trello, your Notes app, etc) and move anything up that is more urgent than the others.
From the list, create a filtered short-list of the tasks I will aim to get done that day.
Looking next at my calendar, when will I have the time to get those things done? (Maybe revise my short-list if I don't have capacity)
Book time in my calendar to focus on my key tasks and get them done
At the end of the day, review: Did I accomplish what I wanted to? Why or why not? Anything to note down for tomorrow?
Repeat, reflect, rewrite as needed :)
IAMA library page, which means I spend my work time mostly shelving and organizing the stacks of my local library. I see the common tastes of the public, both in terms of what they borrow and what they put on hold from other libraries. I don't have a degree in library sciences or anything, but I'll gladly answer an library-related questions you might have.
OH! burning question: what are actual teenagers these days reading? Are teenagers these days reading?
Not as many teens as you might expect, but we still get some. Most YA (Young Adult) novels are being read by the 18+ age range as an alternative to modern literature. There are a lot of dystopia novels, and fantasy is pretty high up there to, but the majority tend to have a central theme of either relationships (all types) or self-discovery.
Do you think that a large portion of teenagers have switched to Kindles and iPads?
When I was in high school a decade ago, it seemed like most of the avid readers were gifted a Kindle 4 or Kindle Touch, and I was tearing through books on my iPad mini after they released.
I would have to ask the librarians at work what they think. I know our previous teen services librarian wanted to beef up our digital collection of comics and manga, but I never found out what our digital stats for teens are. But, judging by how many teens I see on a weekly basis, I think a lot of them spend less time with traditional books and more time with either graphic novels or video games. That doesn't mean teens will stop borrowing books; it simply means that there's a downward curve presently in our teen numbers. I'm sure that will rebound sooner rather than later. For the most part though, a lot of our Kindle/eBook borrowers tend to be adults, and a lot of them are in the 50+ demographic.
On an adjacent note, I can say for certain that the one piece of technology that is having a huge impact currently is the Nintendo Switch. We have a couple dozen switch games covering a wide range of genres, and all of them circulate regularly. I know that's not quite what you asked, but it felt connected, as that is the main tech that many younger people seem to be using outside of smartphones.
I’m totally out of the loop with the whole graphic novel/manga craze that has grown in the past decade, but that actually makes a ton of sense. I have noticed that out in public, it’s mostly translated manga that I see in younger people’s hands. My group of friends were all avid readers, but we tended to favor either fantasy or non-fiction (many of us went on to be engineering or biomed majors).
No but it’s definitely something I’m glad you brought up. I have borrowed Switch games from my library to decide whether or not to purchase them. There’s quite a waitlist at mine, but I think it’s a rather valuable service.
I will add to the graphic novel bit, by saying that there is a wide range of stories and genres available in the medium nowadays. There are graphic novels starting at an easy reader level going all the way up to adult, with almost anything you can imagine in between. I personally love some of the more imaginative works for tweens, but I'd be lying if I said if there weren't works for all ages that I've enjoyed. Something I found more recently is that there are western artists drawing in a manga style, but the works are read left to right, which might be jarring to traditional manga readers. I can't recall the title offhand, but it's basically a blend of Danny Phantom and Digimon, wrapped in a Darwin's Game shell. Really clever idea.
If you want to dip your toes into the pool of graphic novels, I have a few recommendations.
1: Mighty Jack - It's for kids, but has a lot of roots in classic folk and fairy tales. It's a modern retelling of Jack and the Beanstalk with a cast of more grounded characters. The story is the first of a trilogy,. with the final book merging with the author's other main series, Zita the Spacegirl.
2: Amulet: More tween than kids, but readable by both, Amulet tells the story of a girl, her mother, and little brother as they find themselves thrust into a fantastical world they are woefully under-prepared to handle. What follows is a gripping tale of learning to grow, handling loss and grief, and standing up in the face of adversity. A small caution though, the final volume, book 9, has not been published yet, and fans, myself included, have been waiting since before COVID for it to be released. Feel free to join our wait though.
3: White Sand -Okay, I'm cheating a tad with this one. The story was originally an unpublished prose novel by Brandon Sanderson, but he was asked for a story to be made into a graphic novel and he dusted this one off. It's a story that takes place on a planet that is tidally locked, with one side always in daylight and the other perpetually in night (well, twilight actually, but it's complicated). We follow a protagonist who is the very definition of weak but skilled as he navigates finding his true place in the world.
I hope you find something interesting in there. Enjoy!
Thank you. I really appreciate the thought and thoroughness you have gone through for each of your responses.
Some of these (Amulet specifically) seem really up my brother's alley so I will definitely have him look into them.
I, unfortunately, haven't had much interest in graphic novels as it's not really the kind of reading I typically do. Although, the one you can't remember sounds the most interesting to me! I am a HUGE Digimon fan (I came to be by being a massive Tamagotchi fan first) and Danny Phantom meant a lot to me as a gay kid, so if you remember the title I would be very much interested in checking it out!
FOUND IT!
If you decide to read it, let me know how you liked it.
Yes! Thank you. I'll add it to my Goodreads right now. I appreciate it!
What are better ways to utilize the library? I use Libby to send books from my local library system to my Kindle, but it seems like the books I'm looking for aren't there.
How do you think public libraries could get more people into the library?
Digital services like Libby or Hoopla behave somewhat differently than the streaming services you are likely familiar with.
First and foremost, they are system specific, with every library system maintaining a separate collection from every other system, similar to how streaming platforms have different content based on the country you're in. The thing that makes that weird being, most people think "Oh, but I'm within -state name here- so there's no difference. And that leads segues into....
Second, libraries are limited in the way they loan out digital materials. Let's say you and everyone you know are excited for the new book by Big Author. The library system, knowing that the book is going to be popular, can purchase a license for the book, choosing one of two methods: limited time or limited borrows. Limited time sets a time-frame (typically one year) and they can digitally loan out the item as many times as the community wants to borrow it (which in our scenario is the best course of action). Limited borrows is the other side of that coin, where there is no time limit on the license, but after so many borrows the license ends. Both of these ensure that libraries continually return to pay more money for digital copies of items. This was an especially big deal during the pandemic lockdown, as publishers got rather greedy, prompting many libraries to boycott until certain changes were made. That being said, the digital items you borrow are meant to be used, so don't feel guilty if anything I just said makes you feel weird. Blame the publishers, but still use the library.
Digital use is one way to use the library, but there's more there to discuss. Now, I don't know your library system and what it does. If it's really big, it might have features and programs that I've never heard of. And, if it's really small, the funding and interest might not be available like it is at my library. So take the following with a grain of salt.
A phrase you're likely to see a lot in relation to libraries nowadays is "Library of Things". Simply put, it's anything you wouldn't normally associate with being able to borrow from a library, but you can anyway. Some libraries will loan toys, kitchen appliances, tools, musical instruments, and more. My own library system even offers mobile internet (MiFi) units with unlimited data. This is how I used the internet for several years, all of it underwritten by various non-profits. Each system offers what it can to suit the needs of its community, so if there's a need, ask your local library if they can build a collection of whatever you need; they might even ask you to work with them in building it. Long story short, many libraries have things that they lend out that will help improve the lives of their patrons besides books.
Other needs are a bit more pedestrian. Not everyone has the same access to technology that you or I do. Many patrons will use their library for access to computers, printers, copiers, and even fax machines, all to get their business taken care of. For example, a lot of patrons come to my branch to print out job applications and resumes. My boss, as a rule, makes sure that, as long as the print job isn't too big, that the patron won't be charged for that sort of thing. It's hard enough for some people to get on their feet without having to figure out how many resumes they can afford to print.
Other miscellaneous services that your library might offer are things like access to notary public, lend out passes to nearby museums and parks, offer classes or programs on various topics of interest, host author meet-and-greets, have a movie or music night, provide free access to genealogical databases (yes,, the ones that you have to subscribe to), access to business/scientific/government databases, offer tax preparation assistance to low-income families, host summer reading programs for children, provide a MakerSpace with a 3D printer, and much much more!
So to everyone reading this, PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY! It offers more than just books. There are services that go underutilized because people simply don't know they exist. Please visit your local library and ask them what services they offer and which ones aren't being used. Trust me, you will make a librarian's day, guaranteed! And once you know all the cool things that your library has to offer, be sure to tell all your friends and family, so they can visit, find out for themselves, and then they can tell everyone they know, ad infinitum. Because libraries are awesome!
Well, you made me go check out my library page. I have utilized some of the amenities of my library (scientific journal sites not available by my college, Libby, game services, and the printer) but I had no idea about the free Ancestry use, mobile device checkout, or just how extensive the museum passes are. I'm definitely going to have to check out a few more things, I thought I was using the library pretty well but it seems like I was just scratching the surface!
That tends to be the reaction most people have to discovering the depth that the modern library offers. It is my hope that more people see this post and find out for themselves how true that is.
What does the current funding and usage look like for libraries? It seems like the ones near me are getting a lot of funding, with stuff like 3D printers. But I also don't know many who use the library (and I'm guilty of this too). I think they're good services, and sometimes I think of getting a library card and just checking out random books, even though I don't read, to boost their numbers.
Numbers are king for libraries. I personally don't have much contact with them, but I promise that literally ANYTHING you do can help ensure that your local branch gets the funding it needs. I'd recommend taking the first step of getting a library card and checking out one item before leaving. This incentivizes you to do two things: use the item and making sure that you return to the library when the item is due. Rinse and repeat. If you have a DVD/BluRay player, explore the new release section for that movie you've been meaning to see. If you like video games, see if they have a collection for the console you own. And if you don't have time for any of that, use Libby or Hoopla on your phone (if your system uses either of those services) to borrow audiobooks to listen on the go. I repeat, literally anything you do helps with the numbers and ensures that next year's budget doesn't drop as much. (And between you and me, if in the end all you do is just check out a stack of 6 or 7 books and leave them in a tote bag next to your couch for three weeks, that's cool too!)
I've worked in architectural design services for healthcare, designing a bunch of satellite outpatient clinic locations, designing a few inpatient units including a neonatal ICU and a psychiatric ICU, as well as countless remodels and upgrades. Currently I've transitioned into the perhaps less glamorous building code consulting side of things.
I'm a big outdoors person - About my favorite thing to do is to backpack out here in the Cascades and my second favorite thing is to find really, really dark skies to drag a telescope out to for some stargazing.
Oh, I'm also in the early stages of picking up Spanish and German as second languages, having started about three months ago.
AMA!
What goes into designing units at a hospital? I imagine it would have to do with ensuring space for medical devices necessary, but are there more things a layperson wouldn't expect has been taken into consideration while designing it?
A few of the more unusual design considerations I've learned about and taken throughout my career:
Neonatal ICUs are some of the most secure units within a hospital owing to both the fact that infants are frequently targets of kidnapping and that they are at the most risk if their care is suddenly terminated. Also, an quite sobering topic is grieving spaces - NICUs unfortunately see quite a bit of loss within their walls so having spaces like chapels and outdoor spaces nearby is really important for both parents and staff.
Psychiatric ICUs also have quite a bit of security considerations around them with the added reality that many patients may attempt self-harm so a significant amount of effort is put into making everything as safe as possible. There's an entire parallel market for hardware including handrails, shower curtains, door handles, cabinet hardware, etc which are 'anti-ligature' meaning nothing can be hung off of them. Windows must be designed to take impact loads from within and everything accessible to the patients must not be able to be damaged to create something for self-harm.
On a less sobering note, the design of medical imaging units is fascinating and still one of my favorite things to have done. For radiological units like those with x-ray machines will have lead lining behind the walls integrated within the sheetrock, in the doors, in the door jambs, within the windows themselves - Basically any optical path from the x-ray machine to an occupiable space will have shielding in order to block the x-rays. For MRI imaging, the entire room is built with RF shielding, like a Faraday cage to ensure ideal imaging performance. Also, MRI imaging carries an asphyxiation hazard due to the large amounts of liquid helium present inside the machine. A 'quench' occurs when the superconducting magnets loose their superconductivity and boil off the liquid helium so considerations for where to vent the gas as well as how to keep the atmosphere within the room breathable need to be made.
It's interesting to know more about the security and safety concerns. The concept of an anti-ligature systems are something I'd never come across before but makes sense within the context. Design of imaging units does sound very fascinating and a fun application of physics you don't get to see otherwise.
What's your take on this? I don't know if that makes sense in the context of what you worked with.
https://www.rigshospitalet.dk/maryelizabethshospital/english/Sider/default.aspx
IAMA doing a 4 day work week schedule.
What industry are you in? What days of the week? And most importantly, what do you do with your extra day off?
Software. Friday off. Errands, learn stuff... but most importantly, personal time! Having kids means on personal time because your weekends are full of childcare family stuff. Having Fridays off literally tripled my free time.
Having a long weekend every weekend sounds great! I hope to get a job that also a four-day work week someday.
I just finished my Ph.D. in Applied Physics earlier this year. I now work as an engineer building lasers.
I like to do photography and salsa dancing as my creative hobbies. I'm starting to get into gardening/botany while also exploring oil and acrylic paints.
What are the lasers used for?
These lasers are sold to other companies who incorporate them into their own industrial processes such as for machining or for material inspection. Other companies incorporate those lasers into products which use laser/light techniques for measurement or other applications.
In my research, my laser was used to mix nanometer-thin films of two different species in both thermal (melt) and non-thermal (solid-state) regimes which were mediated by different mechanisms!
I'm a queer person from South London, aspiring to work in stagecraft. Got to get these exams over with first though. AMA!
Oooh which discipline of stagecraft? My focus was on set building and painting, but I did a love working in the sound booth as well.
I'm not too sure yet. I'm going to a performing arts college in September to take a course in Production Arts, which involves set and costume design, sound and light engineering and stage management.
I'm leaning toward sound/light engineering right now but I think I'd also enjoy set design and stage management. I'll just have to try a bit of everything and see!
That is the way to go. I was lucky to have a robust program in my (US) High School, and then went to a college with a good program. Try everything and see what fits best. I thought I'd like costuming more than I did, it was ok, but not my jam.
Not directly on topic, but I admire someone I know who pivoted from costume design to start what became a very successful reupholstery and home decorating business. Her workshop has an impressive variety of hammers, mallets and hand tools.
Yeah, a lot of stage craft skills parlay well into other fields. I'm a decent carpenter, and I know how to weld, all of which I learned in scene shop building sets and frames.
I could Google it, but I prefer a crafter answer from someone in the trade: Could you ELI5 what is stagecraft?
Simply put, it's the technical side of theatre (and other) productions. It's split into subdisciplines, thing like sound engineering, light design, set design, costume design, prop procurement and stage management.
Oh that's super cool. As someone who likes to tinker and build, the prop design/creation has always seemed interesting to me. Particularly when thinking about scenes like the iconic scene from The Office, with Dwight's toilet paper separator. Good luck with it!
Thank you!
Working on comics with my brother, I have two ideas:
My job is testing autonomous vehicles, but I can't talk an awful lot about that.
offbeat: as a moo-cow from 1452, what's your typical day like?
Are you the illustrator or your brother, or both?
The days are long and I graze throughout them. Your human timeframes mean nothing to me, but you keep the wolves away, so that's nice.
My brother is illustrating, but he's got life things, and I got life things, so a lot of our collaboration is on the back burner.
For your first idea: What kind of world-building have you contrived so far?
For your second idea: Kasha comes to mind, but there are different types of "labels." What type of "label" are you thinking of?
A long time ago, humanity had been assimilated into the lane of Faerie when a disaster took place on Earth that would have driven humans to extinction had the fae not intervened. That is a dubious interpretation of the events that happened, but even the oldest of fae were born long after that time, and it is against Fae Nature to distort the truth. Sometime ago, the fae were getting their butts handed to them in the Great Cosmic War, and empowered humanity to be able to do magic in order to help turn the tide. After the war, new human ways of performing magic were introduced and then crushed in the Esper Riots, and for the safety of the arcane canon, a school for both fae and humanity was founded to prevent such atrocities from happening again. Our main characters are a young human born with a role in magic typically given to the most renowned of Fae Archmages and a destiny to upend society, and a human-faeborn who really doesn't give an ass about destiny and political relations, who takes our lead under her wing because it would totally piss off the lead's sister who's trying to keep both of them under a low profile. The two of them wander into a culture war that would change their world forever.
As far as brand, more like that the hero is a talent that registers or gets scouted by a brand, so more of an agency then a food brand. This agency buys up a bunch of heroes and villains, and has them perform heroics and villainy. Similar to the Boys, but less gruesome, more mundane contract work, except for some elements of cosmic horror when contract renegotiation come up and future tragic events and origin retcons are involved.
Hi I’m from NYC, 22 taking leave of absense from college though returning in the fall specializing in graffic design, moderate the Threads Subreddit on Reddit, Reddit refugee, atheist from orthodox Jewish family, avid world builder, likes researching as a hobby and am a AI enthusiast.
I’ve lost my religion a long time ago. Grew up conservative Christian in an African country, but the logic and hypocrisy could not be reconciled in my little brain.
How hard was it to break away from your Orthodox background?
If you don’t believe in the Rabbi myth that Rabbis are holy and the God myth that Rabbis have authority from Biblical lifeform/Yahweh(who does not exist and never really believed in 100%) and are holy and also the pious collective myth that followers of Rabbis are morally superior to others on that basis at the end of the day you are not religious at most parents can try to get you to not buy un kosher food but when your outside the house they can’t do anything. Also never really fit in with the Orthodox community they are way too conformist for me so that made this much easier(also other factors that are personal that made me decide I didn’t want to be part of said community). The begining of my decline in observance of Religious rules was desire to write on sabbath my worldbuilding notes in 2021. Also Star Trek helped me as well in my path away from modern orthodoxy.
I’m new here, and am not sure how to mark this as joke, but I’ll happily buy you a cheeseburger.
Cheeseburgers are really good. Pork’s pretty good. Plentifully beef is great. Seafood is actually harder to find in NYC surprisingly, and likely to be expensive if available.
I am from a Reform family who do observe but are not strict and my father decided not to inform me of many religious things about our culture until I was a teenager so that I would be able to have an unforced view on things. Orthodox Jews always seem so strict to me. What was it actually like living day-to-day in that household? How was Sabbath conducted? I cannot imagine my parents telling me "you're not allowed to work on your worldbuilding notes because it's Saturday", that's insane to me. It's a day of rest!! Do things that are restful and fun for you!
IAMA geologist:
I finished my undergraduate degree in 2022
I helped out on a dinosaur dig in Wyoming, USA last summer
I've recently started a PhD researching arc volcanism in Central America (specifically Guatemala).
Unfortunately I haven't had a private sector career yet - just a couple of small jobs on the side to help pay the bills. I'm going gung-ho with the university route for now.
What was working at the dig site like? How many hours did you have to spend with the tiny tools out in the ground?
And bonus question: what's your favorite dinosaur?
I am so sorry for taking so long to respond to this! I've been slacking on checking my inbox over here on Tildes.
Working at the dig site was exhilarating but exhausting. Most of the time at the digsite comprised removing 'overburden' - the layers of rock at the top which are not fossil rich. This could be done using coarser instruments such as bayonets. Once getting to the fossil rich layers, work creeped to a halt: excavation has to be conducted carefully. I spent 2.5 weeks at the digsite and the usual working day was about 9AM to 4PM. I say a 'usual' working day as the real limiting factors were temperature-related fatigue and the onset of windstorms, which seemed to be common in the late afternoon.
Excavating isn't the only job at the digsite. Bones which have been removed need to be coated in plaster to protect them during transit - this was done on site.
I would say Archaeopteryx for a favourite dinosaur!
No worries! I know how time can get away from you. It's fascinating to learn more about the work especially the other jobs you mentioned at the dig site.
I was big into dinosaurs for a while as a kid (which kid isn't haha) and I had completely forgotten that Archaeopteryx was my favourite. You don't come across it as often as pterodactyl and it's a much more cooler flying dinosaur. And it's also so fun to say.
Haven't commented on Tildes yet and I suppose this is as good a place as any to do it for the first time.
I just finished my undergrad in pure math and data science. I did summer research during my degree in mathematical physics, and a little bit in machine learning. Over this summer I'm working as a quant, and then in the fall I'm starting a master's degree in applied math.
Outside of math, my favourite academic field is linguistics. In my spare time I go rock climbing and do calisthenics. I also enjoy watching speedrunning. I'm typing this comment in a cafe.
What's a day at work like as a quant?
I'm a researcher so broadly the job consists of thinking of new trading strategies or ways to improve the execution (in the sense of something like trading costs, not of runtime) of existing strategies.
The way a typical project begins is with a literature review, to understand the nuances of whatever product or phenomenon you want to understand, and what general ideas people have thought about. You then play around with different ideas to get a feel for what might work and what broad problems stand in your way (e.g. data quality or market liquidity). This is eventually narrowed down to a few key candidates, and then these are tested. If the results seem good, an (informal) white paper is written up and given to the developers, who carefully implement it into the actual trading system.
What this entails on the day-to-day is playing around with stuff in a Jupyter notebook and reading papers. Sometimes there are more fiduciary duties, like getting an email from a broker asking what to do in regards to some shares we own (e.g. a merger is happening), or compliance is restricting the trading of some asset (for legal or ESG reasons) and so we need to figure out what to do with that position.
I had heard of Jupyter, but I didn't know it could have this application too. Thanks for sharing the insight into your world!
Jupyter is incredibly nice if you just want to play around with some code and make constant adjustments. Used it for some ML applications this past year.
How can you be an undergrad in pure math and data science simultaneously ?
and is your job as a quant part time ?
I did a double major. And no, it's full time.
Can your skills and experience as a quant be useful when it comes to crypto ? and do you miss pure math ?
It could, since crypto is an asset like any other, but very serious funds trade crypto (outside of Jump). I also think it's becoming logistically more difficult to do since there's fears of crypto brokers and exchanges being fraudulent.
No, I don't really miss pure math. It was fun, I enjoyed it, and I was good at it, but it got very esoteric and it was hard to see the point.
If you would recommend two books for someone who wants to delve into data science for quantitative finance what are they ?
Sorry for the late reply. I'd probably recommend Foundations of Machine Learning by Mohri, Rostamizadeh, and Talwalkar and Elements of Statistical Learning by Friedman, Tibshirani, and Hastie.
These are probably more theoretical than necessary, so it might be worth looking into more applied sources. But coming from a pure math background, this is the avenue I took.
Thanks for suggestions, theoretical means more understanding so it's ok.
I think I have two AMA topics.
First: I immigrated from the Netherlands to the UK when I was 24 and have been here 10 years now. AMA
The second: my dad got a rare disease while in his late fifties and went from fully able bodied to paralysed anywhere below the neck. AMA.
IAmA
I knit, cross-stitch, quilt, do machine embroidery and digitize designs for machine embroidery. Self taught.
I have a Rottweiler/Golden Retriever mix named Floss.
AMA
Hi!
How exactly does quilting... work? My grandmother made me a quilt when I was very young, by hand/by operating a conventional sewing machine vs a special machine which I'm told exists. I'm aware is a tremendous amount of work but I'm not sure why. I've never understood what it actually involves!
How do you find your rotty/retriever cross behaves? I personally love household guard breeds, as they tend to make wonderful dogs when given appropriate training and exercise, but I have only ever met purebred rotties. What kind of behaviours do you get when you cross that with a retriever, a breed with a singular brain cell to be shared across the entire lineage?
How much of a ridiculously good deal am I getting if a friend gives me a pair of hand-knitted fingerless gloves for Christmas?
You get fabric and you cut it to make quilt blocks. Quilt blocks can be made of one square piece of fabric or two triangles or whatever, and sewn together. Once your quilt blocks are assembled you figure out how you want them arranged in the actual quilt, then you sew the blocks together to make a quilt top. There’s 3 layers to a quilt: the quilt top, the batting (the stuffing/insulation that gives the quilt weight and makes it warm), and backing (usually a single piece of fabric that makes up the back of the quilt). “Quilting” a quilt is sewing these three layers together, but you can’t just sew along the edge and call it good because then the batting would clump and become uneven over time or when it gets washed. Most batting has a recommendation of how big a gap in stitching you can leave and think the average is about 3-4 inches. Since the whole thing needs to be covered in stitching a lot of people add to the quilt by stitching in designs or patterns instead of straight lines. Then you bind the quilt to hide the edges, and it’s all done.
Whenever we go to the vet I’m told she acts like a retriever, but she’s more independent than most people say their retrievers are. She’s definitely not a Velcro dog! She has absolutely no problem ditching everyone to go hangout by herself and watch out a window or take a nap. She’s a fantastic hunter. She’ll sit and wait for a critter for hours, if she catches a scent or sees something. She’s caught 7 mice. When she was a puppy she used to herd our neighbor’s chickens back into their fence. It was absolutely adorable. I really feel like we got the best of both worlds with her: she loves people, but will absolutely tell us if something is in the yard that shouldn’t be. Here’s a picture.
A really good one, even better if they’re made with good yarn. It can take a while to get confident enough to make object in the round like that. I made several pairs of fingerless gloves that were knit flat and then stitched together along the edge (leaving a hole for the thumb) to make a cylinder. You’re definitely getting the benefit of her skill, time and labor. Don’t be afraid to ask her to mend them in later years if they get a hole or something. It might sound like a bad idea, but there’s nothing better than knowing your gift is being used and appreciated.
Very basic cross stitcher here! I’ve always wanted to get into knitting or crocheting but I don’t have the finger control for it. Any recommendations? (I’ve been told loom knitting might be a possibility but it is all so daunting.)
It does look confusing, but there are lots of good beginner tutorials online. Wooden needles are typically recommended for beginners because they’re less slippery so it’s harder for your stitches to come off accidentally. I recommend the long-tail cast on for beginners, and just work on knit stitches until you are comfortable manipulating the yarn and the needles.
There are two main styles of knitting: continental and English. Don’t worry about the labels, but the difference is which hand you hold and manipulate the working yarn (the yarn coming from the ball/skein) with. Don’t be afraid to try both styles and see which one feels the most comfortable for you.
If you can touch type and/or play videos games, you can knit.
You see, I "normally" can touch type/play video games, but I have spasms where my hands become uncontrollable for periods of time, especially if they're doing something super dexterous. While if i'm typing I can just stop/ delete what happened, and i can just restart a game. The idea of my fingers going out and ruining a decent amount of time's work is what really has me nervous. It is why I enjoy cross stitching, because it can be slow paced and is relatively easy to start and stop.
Ah, I see. Crochet might be better for you then. I’ve heard many people say they find it easier than knitting, and I read on here somewhere just yesterday that someone preferred it because they could treat it rougher and not worry about dropping stitches. I think it was on a thread talking about fiber crafts of all kinds; I’ll try to find it later.
I’m not saying that the hand spams mean you couldn’t knit, of course. I’m just saying if you don’t have a preference between the two, crochet might be a better place to start due to your concerns. Knitting isn’t difficult to start and stop, and it’s relatively easy to fix dropped stitches but it can be intimidating as a beginner.
AMA:
I've been in China teaching English since the start of 2019. In that time I've worked in training centres and boarding schools, and gone through the entire pandemic, including being in district quarantine twice, and eventually catching the virus in 2022. I've also visited many cities, mostly the big hits like Chongqing, Chengdu, Beijing, Nanjing and Shanghai, and some smaller cities in Zhejiang like Wenzhou and Yiwu. Ask me anything!
How did you get started teaching ESL? Do you have an ethnically or linguistically Chinese background yourself or was Chinese (presumably Mandarin?) something you started learning for other reasons?
So first, no. No background whatsoever in teaching or being in China. The industry has high turnover (and if you'd met some of my students you'd understand why) so entry positions are always open and actively recruited for. That said you do hit a wall without a teaching certificate or Masters degree in teaching, and getting one of those while in China is tricky. I learned enough Chinese to get by here, hitting a wall at HSK 3 (there are six levels of Chinese proficiency, starting at 1).
I know nothing about Humanistic Judaism (if it's the right page).
Is it a personal choice or a family thing? And are you still a bit religious or not at all?
That is the right page!
It is a personal choice, after a lot of thought I felt that it was what fit my personal views the best. I would day that I'm not religious at all, although the culture is still very important to me.
I’ll say that I’m a good bit older than you which is why these questions came up:
What do you wish older generations understood more about your generation?
If you could understand/have explained something more about those generations older than you, what would it be?
IAMA Embedded Cybersecurity Engineer in the automotive industry. Before this I implemented both financial GRC and cybersecurity/identity software for companies. And before that I fixed people's laptops, pcs, phones, tablets, etc... for a university.
I have a ton of hobbies and am constantly picking up new stuff but my main ones are camping, MTB, and video/board/TTRPG games.
I also occasionally put out music under Blinded By Its Majesty. Check it out if you like instrumental prog metal.
I'm against the idea of my car being connected to the network, but it seems inevitable given where the industry is going.
Do you think this is the case?
How do you feel about privacy, given the field you're working in?
I assume you mean connected to the internet when you day network. Just clarifying because vehicles have networks of their own (check out CAN networks if you're interested). I'd agree though that the industry is very much going that way. As vehicles and the controllers driving them get more complicated, being able to do over-the-air updates becomes more and more critical. You can test for bugs, vulnerabilities, etc... all day everyday and, for the most part, the longer you test the more you'll find. So being able to update them easily after production can be nice.
On the other hand, imo, it also seems to be becoming an excuse to deliver half baked vehicles and update them later on to the condition they probably should have been in originally.
As far as privacy goes, it's very much a compromise no matter what. At this point I basically try to 1. keep stuff off of the internet that I wouldn't want to share, whether or not I think I'm anonymous and 2. try to limit who I'm giving access to my stuff. Rather than having a bunch of Google and Microsoft and Apple and Amazon, etc... electronics, I basically try to keep as much soloed to one company as much as I can (in my case Google). I know they're going to sell plenty of my info to other companies, but then that circles back to point #1.
I wrote a lot more than originally intended lol. Hope that was helpful!
How do you feel about internet connected ECUs? :P
I work in automotive adjacent -- it's trivial for a bad actor to DOS a CAN bus if they have access, I just don't know what sort of affect that would have on the vehicle's function.
It's both pretty cool that we can do stuff like update OTA, but also terrifying from a security point. If an OEM has implemented safety stuff well, then DoSing a CAN bus should hopefully just take the vehicle to a safe state in which case there's usually no safety concerns but also usually means you can't drive the car for a bit.
What kinds of technologies do you expect to see being implemented in new mass-production cars in the next decade or so? I'm talking "Subaru outback" levels of mass-production, rather than these expensive-as-hell quasi-prototype cars that seem to be flooding the market.
For reference, I live in Australia, where a combination of baffling legislative decisions and an ideologically-driven tax on electric vehicles not levied on ICE vehicles has meant we're severely behind the times on EVs. We are only just now beginning to see the expansion of EVs into our market, which means a lot of these new techs are strange and confusing to me.
I think we'll wind up seeing some good advancements in driver assist functions. Maybe even L2 in the next decade? I don't see mass-production consumer vehicles getting any better than L2 for quite a while though.
I'm also hoping infotainment software gets better. A lot of companies seem to be implementing Android auto and carplay and calling it a day meaning the base software sucks. It'd be nice to have some actually good software and that should be much more doable with OTA updates.
Also just in general, EVs are starting to get cheaper and better. I doubt they'll be as cheap as their ICE counterparts in the next decade but I think they'll get pretty close.
Huh, okay. Yeah I was definitely wondering about how far driver-assist/"self-driving" tech could reasonably come in the next [insert reasonably foreseeable timeframe]. It feels like something that's both revolutionary and deeply dependent on widespread changes in more than just technology. It feels, to me as a non-expert, like we will need to fundamentally adapt both our infrastructural systems and social understanding of and integration with transportation in order for genuine self-driving, autonomous vehicles to be a widespread reality.
Like, right now, we have a situation where I could plonk a true, genuinely self-driving car on the road and honest to god I think a lot of people, even intellectually knowing it was a better driver than themselves, would drive like absolute maniacs around it because they wouldn't know how to conduct themselves with a car that doesn't respond quite like a human does. So it feels like we will need to adapt infrastructure to accommodate a greater number of driverless - or even empty - cars being on the road, but also adapt how we think about both transit and cars themselves. I mean, I primarily use public transportation, so I'm used to the idea of working on a timetable and not necessarily going the most direct route.
If we started to have driverless minibus-type deals going around, that could be very interesting but a lot of people would need to buy into that sort of system.
While I think adapting infrastructure would help, I don't think it's necessary. And social understanding will come with more and more people using the technology. Waymo has been operating driverless "Ubers" in Phoenix and San Fransico for a little bit now and I've yet to hear any issues or even complaints really. The only complaint I've heard so far is that they are VERY cautious to the point that it will take a little extra time than if you drove yourself.
Personally I think driverless bus systems would be an awesome next step, but we'll just have to wait and see.
I think the biggest reasons I don't see anything more than L2 coming to mass consumer vehicles in the near future is cost and complexity. With how much Tesla is trying to push it though, other companies might not have a choice if they want to compete.
Lots of unknowns, but it's a very rapidly evolving space. I know I'll enjoy watching it whichever direction it goes.
IAMA Low-Voltage and Fiber technician mainly working with one of the busiest cruise ports in the US. Been in the field coming on 3 years now, so still rather fresh. Also have worked with NASA, Blue Origin, and SpaceX. Prior, I’ve done data entry, substitute teaching, maintenance for a veterinary clinic and a few things in between. Always looking for something new to challenge myself. The most rewarding thing to me is gaining experience and useable knowledge in a field where I once had none.
Gosh, I feel like others have such interesting lives! Anyway, for a more mundane life, I'm here ;)
Software eng guy by day, moonlighting as a huge huge electronic music nerd (love listening, and especially making my own music). I've been making unofficial bootleg remixes of popular tracks and I've found it incredibly gratifying to see improvement in my mixes, arrangement, and sound selection. This is one of the few hobbies that 'stuck', because of the short feedback loop involved for most things at least. Always happy to talk about plugins, music production, exchange playlists, etc. :)
What is your method regarding post-production? Mixing, mastering, maybe some engineering... nobody really talks about that stuff.
Great question! Huge disclaimer as I'm still figuring out things as I go, and constantly revising, but here's my current process:
Mixing
I try to solve most issues backward in the mixing stage so I don't have to do anything too drastic for mastering. That includes stuff like compression, EQ'ing, glue compression, reverb sends etc.
I'm a sucker for BabyAudio's Smooth Operator to tame resonances -- it honestly is quite magical!
Sometimes, I tweak a multiband comp on the master chain to change how the mix balance works, and then I go back to the individual tracks and fix any issues.
Mastering
My master chain right now consists of Waves MixCentric and ToneCentric to quickly sketch out what a 'final' version would sound like when I'm still in the mastering stage. These are one-knob plugins to impart some EQ, saturation, compression, stereo processing, etc.
That is followed by EngineersFilter to remove anything sub-20Hz. And since I use ableton, I use the Utility plugin with Bass Mono turned on to ensure anything below 120Hz is mono (we don't want any phasing issues down there making the bass weak ;) )
Then the Ozone Imager and Ozone 9 plugins to keep tabs on the stereo field.
I also check for mix translation using Car Test (producers use VSX headphones nowadays but this is a low-budget aka free way of doing that).
Next up, I have Tonal Balance deriving curves from some reference tracks I have to make sure I'm not too far from a frequency target across four major bands.
My limiter of choice used to be two L2s in serial -- one to catch the highest peaks and another for maximizing, but I've resigned from the loudness wars to an extent so I use the smartlimit plugin now with a -1.00dB limit.
Topping that off is YouLean loudness metering to get an idea of loudness targets.
Oh, and ADPTR Metric AB to check against my reference tracks. This is quite critical as I can quickly debug issues with my mixes especially when comparing against other polished, released tracks.
I recently got Gullfoss (finally!) and I've been experimenting with using it on the master chain.
Challenges
The biggest challenges for me are mixing bass and sub bass too loud since I mix & master exclusively on headphones. BUT! I've been pleasantly surprised with those plugins in my master chain which help me be honest about how my mixes stack against my reference tracks :)
Major Takeaways
I will say this, reference tracks + multiband compression pay the biggest dividends for me.
Simpler, fewer elements leads to a less cluttered mix, and that drastically reduces how complicated my mix/mastering process is.
Breaks to reset my frame of reference while mixing or mastering (especially mastering) are also critical. It. Is. Exhausting :)
Thank you very much for this, esp for the takeaways
Hi, I'm Ry, and this is only my third post on Tildes. AMA about:
Oh absolutely. That song is even referenced in my LinkedIn profile!
The thing about aimlessness is, you can still occasionally hit something, as long as you take the shots. I've had jobs which sucked for sure, but also jobs I enjoyed which I never even knew existed. Captioning phone calls for the hard-of-hearing, for example. Apparently people (used to) get paid to listen in on phone calls and simply repeat back what a caller was saying, with clear enunciation and pronunciation, so the listener on the other end would be able to read captions off of their phone screens. It was a thing! Until AI took that job away from us.
I certainly wouldn't be where I am had I stuck to a clearly-defined career path, because I wouldn't have thought that "livestream production specialist" could feasibly have come out of AB English Literature. I'm thankful for the experience, and it makes me realize how true the quote goes: not all who wander are lost.
Hi. I'm a former teacher and principal at a small Christian school, who took a hard left turn after a divorce to make my side gig, renovating and renting out suites and houses, into my full time 'job'. Ive been doing it for 35 years so Ive racked up a ton of experiences, about 85% of it good, 13% difficult but manageable and 2% of it absolutely horrible with life-shortening stress.
In between teaching and landlording, I founded a mobile outreach center for street kids under 22. Many were involve in what is now called human trafficking, but we called it hooking and pimping back then. That outreach is still running 30 years later.
At 61, Im nearing retirement, and Ive got some GREAT tenants now so my days (finally) are largely free to do whatever I wish, so I try to do something productive every day rather than scroll endlessly on reddit. (I deleted my 10 yr old account) My projects are usually centered around things with motors, a life long interest.
The best thing in my life has nothing to do with work (nobody gives out awards for Landlords) - it's my awesome wife, our six adult (3 bio, 3 step) children and 7 grandkids, and our two dogs - although my wife would likely say the dogs are at the front of that lineup.
AMA
What insights would you say you have accrued from being a principal, and just from life, in general?
Mmm, that's pretty broad. But one little insight I learned was about leadership in a place where you technically have 800 'bosses' since all the parents paid tuition, which paid our wages and therefore had a vested interest in how the school was run. Most were relatively quiet but some definitely had opinions.
Our 'guideline' was that if we made a decision and if 75% of the parents were ok with it, 20% weren't happy but just grumbling about it and 5% thought it was the stupidest decision they'd ever heard of, then we pretty much hit the nail on the head. You'll never please everyone and every decision has its detractors but that ratio was a fair balance.
As for being a landlord, Ive learned the ONE critical rule is that almost all the work in being successful is in whom you select to rent. That's the number one challenge of landlording. If you pick the right people, it can be quite easy to manage and nearly zero stress. Pick the wrong tenant and life can become quite hellish in a hurry - and that's why just about every person you meet has a story like "yeah, my uncle Jerry was a landlord and he hated it. I'll never try it"
I'm an Aerospace Engineer at NASA. I do structural analysis for the Roman Space Telescope at Goddard Space Flight Center in Maryland.
I've also thru-hiked the Pacific Crest Trail!
AMA
I wish I could think of questions. I bet you have so many awesome stories!
What was the hardest thing to adjust to while hiking the PCT? I'm sure you had done long hikes to build up to it, but I feel like all the different environments you go through can't be something you're fully prepared for. Or just living outside for so long!
My dream up until Physics 1 in college was to be an aerospace engineer for NASA. Physics kicked my ass and shattered my dreams lol I'm always impressed with and in awe of people that work for NASA. Also a touch jealous.
Believe it or not I didn't do much of anything in the way of training leading up to the PCT. I started walking more, but I was finishing up my senior year of college and didn't really have time for overnight trips. I didn't even have much prior backpacking experience; the PCT was my third backpacking trip.
I didn't find life as a thru-hiker difficult to adjust to at all, it was coming back that sucked. Thru-hiking is a recipe for happiness – endless exercise, natural beauty, and social fulfillment, and nothing to worry about besides the weather. It's no wonder so many people have a hard time adjusting back to life in the real world.
I am the most boring person in this thread, AMA.
If you call yourself the most boring person in this thread, you are setting yourself up to be the most boring person in this thread. Not everyone does amazing things or changes the world, but ordinary actions and more passive lives do influence others and (in their own way) change the world as well. Don't do yourself a disservice by calling yourself boring.
With that out of the way, what are your anecdotes regarding your hobbies?
I was half joking and in comparison to the comments I read, my stories definitely aren’t that interesting but that’s ok!
I once tried wood carving and I already had the feeling that my tools weren’t sharp enough or the wood too hard. I also slipped a couple of times and caught myself being glad, that I held the piece of wood correctly, so I wouldn’t stab myself. Well, just a minute or so later I slipped again and jammed the tool right into my finger and had to go to the ER because of possible foreign objects. It was a small wound, but my apartment looked like a murder scene.
I tried pole dancing just for the fun of it. It was fun alright, but it was mostly torture with how sore my muscles were every time. Pole dancing is no joke and the toughest sport I‘ve ever tried. My legs were so bruised, and so were my arms from my skin being pinched. I also couldn’t walk most of the time because of the extreme hamstring stretching. I wish I could continue, but the classes were very expensive and I couldn’t practise at home (no room for a pole). Maybe some day!
When starting via ferrata we took a class to learn everything about it. Yeah, I don’t know why, but for some reason I was expecting normal hiking but with a bit of extra security in rough and rocky terrain. Nope, at the beginning of the class we had to climb a vertical cliff and while I‘m not afraid of heights, I’m afraid of falling and that was a huge challenge for me. I genuinely thought I couldn’t do it and my heart was pounding after looking down while hanging on that cliff 10m above the ground. I‘m still afraid, but I also have a lot of fun.
I think a lot of the time I pick up hobbies because I want to create something as a gift and can’t find that specific gift in a shop or it’s too expensive. So I buy the materials and make things myself. I got into wood burning that way, crocheting, painting with acrylics, wood carving (but we don’t talk about that), clay modeling and many more.
How was the ER experience and is there a most memorable anecdote? I worked in IT at a hospice.
What motivated you to go to a Comic Con in Texas from halfway across the world?? How spontaneous are we talking? Was there anything that surprised you about Texas or was it what you expected?
I think hobbies are more about enjoyment than whether you’re good or bad. What hobbies do you enjoy most or wish you had more time for?
Stole a tram!? hahaha
The ER experience was fascinating and stressful, but mostly I perceived it as positive stress, like a challenge.
The most memorable one… hm, there were a lot of memorable moments, but obviously the sad ones stand out the most. We once got a homeless alcoholic man, who had a pretty nasty infection in his brain and we told him that he‘ll need surgery but he refused (over here he wouldn’t have to pay anything mind you). Knowing that you send him on his way and he‘s going to be dead in a few days was shit. When someone is injured and comes to the ER you can at least do something for them, but not being able to do anything sucks. Seeing how you used to work at a hospice, I bet you know what I mean.
A nice anecdote was a patient with some sort of mental disability, who came in weekly and sometimes even daily. He constantly thought he had an injury and came in with self made bandages. We already knew him very well and just sent him to the doctor for reassurance and when he was particularly concerned he got an x-ray. He probably had 100s of records at our hospital. But he was very sweet and we liked taking care of him and giving him professional bandages to make him feel better and reassured.
I just really wanted to see a good Comic Con, the ones in my country are a bit meh. They improved significantly since I went to Texas, but back then they were a bit sad haha. Nobody wanted to go with me, so I went by myself. I chose the one in Texas because Bruce Campbell was there and I wanted my Evil Dead DVD signed. The other option would have been Tulsa, but 1) that looked a bit less fun and 2) I read something about tornado alley and got scared haha. I booked 2 months in advance, so not that spontaneous.
What surprised me about Texas was how Texan it was. That sounds a bit silly, but the first person I spoke to at the airport wore cowboy boots, a cowboy hat and one of those ties (bolo ties? I forgot the term). And I was also surprised by how communicative people were. I was constantly talking to strangers and that’s just not happening where I live. Maybe to a lesser degree in rural areas, but in a city you generally avoid eye contact lol. I also did not expect the humidity and the amount of gigantic trucks. The homelessness and amout of begging also surprised me tbh.
I agree about the hobbies! And I‘m like my Dad in that regard. I can find enjoyment in almost anything. I think making music, filming/editing and gaming are my perfect trifecta of hobbies. Other than that, I really enjoy crocheting amigurumi, tinkering/repairing things and Via Ferrata. I wish I had more time for very extensive hobbies like DnD. I never tried it because of the commitment, but I would love to.
And yep, stole a tram. I don’t even know why, I think he was drunk if I remember correctly.
Do you have any interesting stories about your time at the hospice? Any memorable anecdotes?
Maybe I'm bitter, but at the non-profit hospice where I worked, I was struck by the ineptitude of the executives and the hands-off attitude of the board. And yet, the company continued to function. The team — both direct care staff and admin/support — were great.
I remember a hospice patient that was an infant, an older gentleman whose friend came by daily to have scotch with him, and a volunteer who regularly played piano (not so well). I think she did it to stay close to her husband that died there.
I didn't know anything about hospice before working there, but it's an amazing service and the way that it is paid for is how all healthcare in the US should be. We do it for hospice because it lowers the costs of elderly people being in hospitals. Which to me indicates that we could have lower costs overall, and better management of resources, in a system that minimizes or eliminates the role of for-profit insurers.
Re: hobbies — just this weekend I was asked by two or three people about my hobbies and was struggling because I've been so busy lately. I started saying that discovering and listening to music is a hobby. Someone asked if I've ever made music, even on the computer, and I can honestly say I haven't. How do you make music?
Oh god, an infant at a hospice is rough, the poor family! It‘s cynical to say, but at least they won’t make crippling debt while dying at this hospice. As someone from Europe and an entirely different health care system, I just don’t understand why the rest of the health care system can’t be like that in the US. But hey, I‘m just an outsider looking in, maybe there are good reasons I‘m unaware of.
Discovering and listening to music absolutely is a hobby in my opinion! I sometimes spend hours checking out playlists, my suggestions, etc. What’s your favourite way of discovering music and if you had to recommend me one song, what would it be?
I make music on the computer. I don’t have the room for an actual keyboard and I tried learning the guitar a long time ago and unfortunately was still a teenager and didn’t have the commitment back then. Would love to pick it back up again though. I primarily make some kind of synthwave-ish music (I wish, I‘m not there yet haha).
A variation of your question, "what's one song I should listen to right now", is one of my favorite ways to find new music.
On Spotify, I rely on Release Radar, Discover Weekly, and song-based "radio" playlists to find new things. When I'm in a friend's car/house or at a cafe/show I try to listen for cool songs. Here are a few songs to check out:
Drop - Connor Price
Sweet Relief - Kimbra
Don't Lose Sight - Lawrence
VAGABUNDO - Sebastian Yatra
I wish I was more adept at using SoundCloud to find things. (Do you have a SoundCloud of your synthwave stuff?)
It‘s also a great question to get to know people in my opinion. Back in the day I used Last.fm to discover new music, the Spotify algorithms are so much better, thank god. Indie films are also a great way to find new music.
Bit of feedback to your recommended songs:
Drop: Nothing I would have ever sought out, but the beat is fire and I actually enjoy the Deutsch Rap in there although by itself I‘m not listening to that genre.
Sweet Relief: Love that kind of style, reminds me a bit of an upbeat Flume, with the dissonant (?) beats.
The last two aren’t my cup of tea, but I appreciate the great vocals of Don‘t Lose Sight.
Thanks for those!
I haven’t released any of my music yet, because I‘m a perfectionist and will probably never feel like any of my songs is ready haha. One day…
Did you grow up in SoCal or moved there as an adult to pursue the career in entertainment? My experience has been that people from there generally don’t want to leave. Without devolving into California-bashing, why do you want to leave?
Are there any other jobs you’ve found that are stable and flexible but you just didn’t jive with? Kind of in a similar space — trying to build on my existing skills to get into something that lets me live. Have you found it a challenge at times to identify and promote some of your skills and natural abilities to employers?
I would never have guessed weather to be the reason to want out of SoCal! I never spent much time in LA; my family was in Palmdale and San Bernardino.
In regard to jobs, I was just trying to suss out opportunities to explore. I have IT and writing skills—now I need to find how to leverage them into a job or business that has the right balance of income and schedule flexibility. (Or whether I need to work on some tangent or unrelated skills.)
I work at a US based architecture firm working towards my license. Over that time I've worked on projects from high rise mixed use towers, to a boutique ice cream shop, to a new state park. Most recently I'm now at a firm that does mostly multifamily apartments, however we are trying to diversify our project types. My proudest moment so far was working with a local internationally renowned museum to help protect specific, architecturally important views by developing a building height overlay for the city to adopt for the surrounding area that was now being heavily developed after decades of being low density building.
I grew up in a small country town, and have moved to progressively bigger (and more progressive) cities over my lifetime. So I've seen the interplay between rural life and city life, and with my family still living in the country, I have (and had) a somewhat front seat view of the dying American country towns, I just didn't realize they were dying when I was living there.
I'm a complete modular synthesizer nerd. If you google synthesizer, you're usually met with pictures of keyboards with a bunch of knobs and switches and things that let you shape the specific sound produced by the instrument. A modular synthesizer takes those knobs and switches, the building blocks of the sound, and breaks them up into individual, single function modules, that have in and out patch points. You use small cables to connect these modules together, routing "control voltages" from module to module. So not only is every rack of modules unique to the user based on which modules they buy, but each patch is unique as well. An older video of my modular synth. I've also recently gotten into trackers as a vehicle for making music. Perhaps the only thing music related that is nerdier than modular synths.
My other huge hobby is board gaming. My family always played games growing up, the typical american games: Monopoly, Sorry, Trouble, etc... However in college I stumbled across this game Carcassonne and it blew my mind. I introduced it to my friends and it became a hit with them too; we played at least one game a day, if not multiple. That led to new games (often at the suggestion of whatever Wil Wheaton was playing on Tabletop), to now having a collection of 120 games and attending annual conventions. I'm a huge fan of Uwe Rosenberg's designs, specifically his bucolic worker placement games.
I'm a relatively new father to a 9 month old. We need a ~daddes group!
AMA
Hey first of all congratulations on your new born!
Q: If Tildes does have a fathers group what kind of content would you like to see in it?
Q: you said that "a somewhat front seat view of the dying American country towns", which, combined with your modern metropolitan architectural expertise, I would love to hear your thoughts on if you could imagine how these countries towns could be re-populated. Perhaps being adjacent to a big city and accepting spill over sub-urbanization? Could remote work and housing affordability push people back into them? Any examples of towns that did revive?
I'll bite :)
AMA
Hello! I have a few subjects I can talk on that others might find interesting:
I’ve been a Pharmacy Technician for over 15 years, with 9 years of retail experience and I’m currently in long term care (nursing homes, assisted living etc.) I cannot give medical advice but I love to talk about my experiences as a professional drug dealer.
I have been a TTRPG DM for 20+ years. I teethed in THAC0 and have played pretty much every major TTRPG released in the last 10-15 years.
I’m currently finishing up and editing a novel I’ve written on fandoms and the cultures and mini societies that grow inside of them. I’ve been a community moderator in various fandoms for 20+ years and have seen the exact same fights happen over and over again, regardless of if it is happening over a TV show, website, etc. I can speak to fandom or content moderation!
I don't know how interesting I am but I've worked in a lot of industries for a short amount of time. So maybe that's interesting?
In college I worked in a neuroscience lab studying the effects of alcohol on the brain (animal lab). I was pretty involved for an undergrad and have my name on an article that came from that lab.
I then went to a different lab looking for new drugs similar to morphine without the side effects. Looking for long term pain relief drugs. I didn't realize how amazing that experience was until I was out of it.
I did marketing for two realtors in a small town.
I'm a licensed nail tech and esthetician. I did bridal nails and make up.
I was the assistant manager in a retail store.
I did apartment leasing for a short time and loved it.
Now I'm the office manager of a small pest control company.
And all in between there are other part time jobs.
AMA?
What's your strategy for career transision? Did you have prepare for the jobs you aimed for or just sort of came across them on accident and learn as you go? I'm currently working in a biotech lab and is passively looking for a way out but don't know where to start.
Unfortunately I have no aim. The last lab I worked at actually didn't renew a grant so as the tech I was let go. I would probably still be in science if that hadn't have happened at both of the labs I worked at. The instability was too stressful.
Like (seemingly) half of tildes, im in tech. I just graduated from a CS degree after 7 years in college, and am now working in embedded software dev for ag vehicles.
I have more hobbies than is good for me, and just celebrated my first anniversary with my wife, who I met at our high school robotics club.
Oh, also, I grew up in africa, just south of the sahara desert.
AMA, I guess?
How was Africa?
It was... different.
There is no national grid (nor much for local grids outside the capital), so we relied on solar panels and lead-acid batteries for our homes electrical system. we moved out in 2004, lithium ion batteries were only used in laptops, phones, and medical devices, rechargeable AA batteries were still nickel cadmium. Lead acid was the only chemistry that could store a log of power back then. Also, solar panels were very expensive and not nearly as efficient 20 years ago.
All this meant that for most of my childhood, I was quite aware of electrical usage. Our house ran on 12vDC, (lead acid runs at that range, and inverters would have reduced efficiency), so we used appliances meant for RV campers wherever we could. Screentime limits were set not by 'video games will rot your brain' but by wanting to keep the fridge and fans running overnight. On fridays (family movie night), me and my siblings would obsessively watch the charge controller, waiting for that solid light that meant the batteries were fully charged, as the DVD player we had was a CRT and used a ton of power. AC was a complete no-go, so instead, when it wasn't too humid, we would sleep covered in a wet cloth with a little 12v portable fan blowing on us. (evaporative cooling)
It was also quite isolating. Due to cultural differences, and the fact that we ended up moving around a lot, I never really learned the local language(s) very well, and wasn't able to make any friends outside of the missionary community in the area. (even then, the nearest other family that spoke English was a 2 hour journey away). So I read a lot of books. One of the things my parents brought out from the states was an encyclopedia set, specifically the World Book 2003 edition, took up like 5ft of bookshelf space. I devoured that thing, would take an edition to my room an just... disappear for the day. Now im one of those people that pronounces a ton of words wrong because I read them far before I ever heard them spoken.
That's really interesting, thank you for sharing. I think I can understand the isolating feeling, even tho I have not experienced anything like your childhood or past.
This is such a great topic idea. I'll throw my hat in here in case there's anything interesting to people:
I'm a Technical Product Manager at a Canadian nonprofit aimed at getting people better access to health care. My particular passion area is mental health care.
I grew up in an environment similar to a lite version of Shiny Happy People - no dresses or long curly hair for women or anything... but pretty much everything else.
I was homeschooled and finished high school coursework by the time I was 13, and wrote the SAT (which isn't common in Canada, I did it as a sort of GED equivalent to get into post-secondary stuff).
I got 95% of the way into a BSc but dropped out at the finish line because I majored in Biology and the cognitive dissonance of learning about evolution was too much for my very religious 15-year old brain to take.
Went on to get a diploma in media studies and a BSc in Computer Science (much safer for my religious brain) by the time I was 20.
Got into leadership within fundamentalist communities, was an "elder", life was grand in the bubble, until I discovered that every sermon the lead pastor did for years had been completely 100% plagiarized and claimed as his own work - very long story short I was excommunicated after bringing that up and we lost almost our entire community.
Did a lot of soul searching and study after that and ended up leaving the faith entirely and lost whoever was left.
That was eight years ago - still picking up the pieces but life definitely feels much better on the outside than in!
AMA!
I want to hear more about this excommunication! That's...well, exciting is one word to describe it. Which denomination/sect/religion was this? How did that conversation go when you made your accusation? Obviously it didn't go well, but how did it get from "you are plagiarizing" to "you are hereby excommunicated?"
Oh boy that's a story and a half, haha. This was a Canadian denomination called "AGC" - basically a Fellowship Baptist variant. So I was a "junior" elder (which is a very strange term, looking at it now), which meant I couldn't just come out and make an accusation. There's also a Bible verse that's often used to insulate church leadership from accusations - "don't entertain an accusation against an elder unless you've got two or three witnesses" (1 Tim 5:19). I probably don't need to explain how that leads to allll kinds of abuse. So my first step was to bring it to the "elder in charge of staffing". I showed up with a massive stack of printed documents proving my case. After reviewing it, he thanked me for letting him know, and he gave me one piece of advice: "Don't tell the other elders it was you who uncovered this, or they will eat you alive." Being relatively young and inexperienced with this sort of thing, that spooked me enough to keep my mouth shut.
So, a meeting was held without the pastor present, where the evidence was brought forward. I was there and stayed quiet. Very, very quickly, the conversation turned from "Is this wrong?" to "this is fine, this isn't a university, I still felt God in these sermons" to "who discovered this" to "this coward needs to be dragged out in front of the church to publicly confess and apologize for attacking the pastor".
I was terrified - the church was my entire community, and I felt very strongly that the plagiarism was wrong. I should probably add that the Sunday sermon was literally the pastor's only job - no hospitality, visitations, prayer meetings, anything - and he was making money approaching six figures. I felt that this was theft from the congregation that was paying him to do a job he wasn't doing, and lying to them on top of it. I couldn't in good conscience apologize, but I knew they would make me or remove me. I knew these men had the power to turn my community against me. So I stayed quiet and just tried to use the Bible to argue why it was wrong - pastors should be "above reproach", are "held to a higher standard", etc.
There were a few elders who agreed with me - I'd say maybe 25% of them - though one by one they resigned and left the church. After about a month of deliberations, I was the lone holdout. I had written a paper on 1 Timothy outlining exactly why I felt it was a problem and why I couldn't back down. They called in two of the top men in the entire denomination to "deal with me". I presented my case and they basically threw it in the trash. I said I wasn't comfortable with the congregation not being told about this. They said that the pastor did nothing wrong but it was imperative that the congregation not be told anything. I said that didn't feel right. They said (and this is as direct a quote as I can remember): "Either you leave here in agreement with us, or you don't leave."
I remember quite literally shaking at this point. I had a cold sweat happening and my breath was shallow. The cognitive dissonance was massive - these men were essentially acting as God's arbiters here, and I felt strongly that they were wrong. Did that mean I thought God was wrong? At the time, I didn't know, but that's what it felt like they were saying I was saying. In those environments soooo much weight is put on "spiritual authority" that you've essentially subjugated your own mind to them and it feels nearly impossible to dissent.
So I stalled until the top men had to go back to Toronto. Once they left I told the elders there that I was the one who discovered the plagiarism. They said they knew - which to me added to the feeling of being manipulated this entire time. I essentially had to agree to keep my mouth shut about this situation where supposedly nothing wrong occurred, or resign. I took the latter.
On my way out they stood between me and the door and forced me to hug them, like everything was fine. It felt incredibly gross.
This is not a unique story, or even necessarily uncommon - I do a podcast about stories like these in Canada. This is how places like this operate and stay cohesive. They would never say I was "excommunicated" - they would say I left of my own free will, and that I was a "problem". I believe the words they used after I left to describe my exit was a "blessed subtraction". Nobody gets "kicked out" - there's simply increasing pressure applied to make them more and more uncomfortable until they have no choice but to leave. Friends are told that you're having "challenges". People are told that you're "struggling spiritually". "Wrestling with God". You're slowly removed from things you enjoy, like helping out with the youth group or playing music. You're socially quarantined and told it's for the safety of others until you can make sure you won't cause others to "stumble". It's weaponized community for the sake of conformity.
Anyway I could go on and on about how that all mechanically works, why it happens, and the harm it causes, but basically, that's what happened to me. I'm far enough out from it that I can view it with a level of detachment, but I'm still pretty angry about it now, and angry at the many, many communities that do similar things to people that dare to step outside the lines.
Thanks for sharing. That's certainly an intense story! You said you left the faith--is that to say you're atheist now or just don't believe what the AGC teaches?
I'd say I'm an agnostic now. I don't really know what's out there and I'm pretty sure I can't know (though I would hazard some guesses).
I didn't actually leave the faith because of what happened - it was more like being forced out of the church gave me the space to really study why I believed what I believed, and I had already lost pretty much everything so the social cost of looking into these things and asking questions was no longer there. After studying up on a bunch of things I realized I didn't have really solid reasons to be as confident as I was in my beliefs, and things started crumbling from there into a vague "I dunno" over the course of a few years, haha.
Thanks for sharing. I do a lot of work in the domestic violence sphere (my ama is above), and a lot of the work I do is with the intersection of spiritual abuse and domestic abuse. Would you mind PM'ing me the name of your podcast? Perhaps we could work together in the future.
IAMA Creative Director. I've been working in animation / vfx / design since the mid 90s. I worked at Blizzard Entertainment in the late 90s early 00s. I worked for David Lynch on and off for about 10 years. I've done a ton of Game Industry Key Artwork: Batman Arkham City, Wolfenstein New Order, and much more. I published my own game in 2012. These days I'm a Creative Director at a metaverse gaming company. I love film and games, and the merger of the two.
Hello everyone!
I’m a software engineer working on graphics drivers for one of the big three GPU companies. Been in the business for a decade now and have had a chance to work on some cool stuff.
When not at work I’m playing board games, growing my collection to over 125 card and board games and still working on gaining more.
First post on tildes and looking forward to reading more content here!
Question about your game collection: do you have a regular group of friends to play them with? If so how often does your group try a new game vs old favorites?
In college, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to coach sports, so I became a teacher. I did that for 8 years in a public high school and just watched as things got worse and worse for teachers. I finally jumped shipped and landed in tech, first designing training content as an instructional designer, and now as a project manager.
I learned a lot as a teacher and the skills I built there gave me a strong foundation for my current career, however I can't help but look back and think "where would I be now?" if I had just gone straight into tech out of college. Especially in terms of financial security.
Question: do you still have contacts with colleagues who stayed in teaching, and if so how are they doing now? Second, how we do fix education?
I have a few friends who still teach, mostly because they’ve been in it so long they’d lose out on retirement if they left. Most of them are miserable, they’ve moved out of the classroom if they can to other roles.
How we fix it? No idea. I think it’s probably beyond saving at this point.
IAMA graphic designer and have a bachelors in graphic design, artist and more specifically a texture artist, my family breeds siamese cats and I've grown up with them. I also have severe depression, anxiety, and ADHD.
If you want advice on how to freshen up your logo/business card/flyers/etc, how to achieve a particular artistic effect/mood, or how to solve a problem with your cat's behavior, I'll gladly take a crack at it.
IAMA Cloud Sys Admin, though that's probably not that interesting. For hobbies I'm a blacksmith, some woodworking and, due to where I grew up, I have a lot of knowledge about the early 1900s coal mining in the appalachian mountains. AMA
IAMA senior people analytics leader for a corp of 260k employees globally (formally 'manager' though generally introduced as 'head of'/'director' I report to global C-suite). Our industry is meat manufacturing (animal slaughter all the way to nice little packaging of prepared foods). I have a PhD in mathematics (number theory). I have several published results, the contribution I am most proud of helped to revitalize/spin-off an area of research and landed my collaborators some excellent positions. I left academia when I considered the cost/benefit analysis for my time and the lifestyle I want to have. In terms of hobbies I compete in powerlifting, read a lot of strength science research, and wrench on sports cars.
AMA about the meat industry, corporate dynamics, mathematics, going to grad school, lifting, cars.
IAMA
I am a helper with Delv (A replacement to Voat and Digg). I have successfully run one business and crashed two. I live in Australia and spend my weekends riding escooters, exposing Roblox preds, exposing Discord preds, messing with the Nintendo Wii and taking care of my two pigeons. I also have ADHD and ASD along with occasional depressed bits.
AMA about Nintendo, Australia, Delv, Pigeons or Roblox.
Mmm, commodification of users remains evergreen online.