My dog is really important to me. Without going into much detail, he and I have been through a lot and I’m committed to making his life as good as possible. a couple of years ago we lived in San Francisco and we were happy. Then I moved to the East Coast, spent a year with my parents before starting a PhD. That was not the best experience, it was at the last stage of his adulthood before being elderly, and he got attacked by my mom‘s dog several times and we were in a shitty concrete hell suburbia that had no good places to walk him. I am very sympathetic to how difficult the transition has been.

Finally we have a place to ourselves again, and it sucks. I feel like he’s ruining my life. It’s been upsetting me to the point that I want to scream.

• he will not leave me alone. He needs to be where I am at all times. We live in a modest one bedroom apartment, and you can see every room from any other room. if I go into the bedroom and he’s in the living room, he has to hop off the couch and follow me 15 feet. If I go to the bathroom, he’s laying down outside the door. Because of his arthritis, I wish he would just stay and not walk unnecessarily.

• I take him on one good size walk and two or three small walks per day. these are the most frustrating times of my day. He lags behind me no matter how slowly I go. I have to keep the leash very short so that I don’t have him fearing off left and right. He wants to smell every single thing. He used to, be a good walker and he would stay at my side and come to that position if I signal him to. But in his old age, he just doesn’t listen to me, it’s not a matter of hearing. He completely ignores me.

• if he is not eating, out on a walk, or tearing up a stuffy, he is unhappy. He lays and will now and then sneezes or sighs.

• he has always had this problem where, a sudden loud noise will deeply disturb him. He will shake uncontrollably, and any attempt to soothe him, by talking to him or touching him, just makes him shake worse.

• he hounds me for food. The moment I touched something in the kitchen, he comes.

• I have gotten him several bowls to try slowing down his eating, but he eats like he’s starving. So I have to feed him in small bits, and if the bits are spread apart too far, he starts shaking like he’s being neglected. I have had him tested for diabetes or other issues, his blood work comes back normal.

• he always wants to sleep in my bed, but he does not want me to touch him. If we are sleeping back to back and our hips touch, he gets off the bed. And then he gets back on as soon as he sees a decent opportunity. we used to share the bed, because I have had a California king size bed by myself, and it was fine. But in the last year, it’s just like he hates it.

I have come to hate the sound of his collar jingling. I have nasty thoughts like waiting for the relief of him passing away. Sometime I have an aggressive voice, but I really do always try to keep my voice light and keep his tailwagging in my interactions with him. I’m sure he can sense my agitation though. It has become overwhelming. I don’t enjoy a single moment of our life together.

And I have to work and he needs to be walked several times a day and he will shake if he feels like he’s being neglected in that aspect, so when I have to go run errands, I take him with me, but I can never get anywhere because not only is he naturally slow. He has developed this instinct of lagging behind and he wants to stop and smell everything and it’s just annoying to have to constantly crouch down and Argue with him to get him to move his body. I don’t feel comfortable, forcing him to move, especially because of his arthritis.

Like I said, he used to have good training, but it has all fallen by the wayside and he is old and stubborn.

But this cannot continue. I Don’t believe either of us are happy. I would like some advice on how to effectively train him in the time that I have, I do not have the money to hire a trainer. I also ask that you handle your responses gently; I am extremely upset by this and I am aware of how shitty it sounds of me to speak of him so poorly, but my mental health is falling apart because of the lack of freedom and relaxation that I can find living with him.

I have no intention of rehoming him, and have always been committed to his safety, and comfort and mental and physical happiness. if I rehomed him, it would haunt me, it would devastate me. But I would do it if I believed he would be happier. But I don’t believe he would be, I have left him with my parents and other people in the past, and he just waits vigilantly for me to return.

Edit: I also want to say that I am open to advice on how I can manage myself and my feelings about this

This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like anaphylaxis, customers and tim walz. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was overly fussed.

But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

I'm looking for games that I can play and enjoy with my 8 years old son. It doesn't need to be a 2-players game, or even a game that he can play (though if he can take the controller and get actively involved, that's better), but just something that he can enjoy as a "backseat player". We have a Switch, a PC, and a PS4.

tl;dr: "backseatable" adventure-ish games with exploration and a clear direction (different sights to see, and a sense of progression), puzzles (so he feels involved when exchanging ideas), ok with light horror. Low stakes, low stress.

Here are some games that we played together and both liked:

• Outer Wilds: loved it so much we did 2 playthroughs in 2 years. He liked the sights, the exploration/treasure hunt aspect, the puzzles, and he asked me questions about our universe and solar system. He was mostly passive as a player both times we played, but we were sharing ideas and he was making suggestions on what to do/where to go next.
• Link's Awakening remake: we played this one when he was 6 years old, with me taking the lead for the bosses or more complicated puzzles. We finished it together.
• Stanley Parable: I intended to play it alone, but unexpectedly he really liked watching me play.
• Strange Horticulture, Grim Fandango, Day of the Tentacle: he liked solving the puzzles with me, and me explaining/narrating what was happening and why.
• Portal 1 & 2: he was able to play on his own with some help, and the coop levels in Portal 2 were great.
• Deep Rock Galactic: he's making his own story and narrating along while I (and sometimes random players) play normally.
• Human Fall Flat: he loves the slapstick humor and finds better (and more creative) solutions than I do
• Mario Odyssey: probably his GOAT game, the accessibility features helped him a lot to play and enjoy it alone.

He's also taking an interest in light horror (specifically mascot horror) games:

• Garten of Banban series: objectively bad games but he really enjoyed the progression, light puzzles, and the liminal level design.
• Indigo Park: much better production value, mostly a walking sim, but very short.
• The Complex: a free "Backrooms" game. He didn't play it since he wasn't yet comfortable with mouse and keyboard controls, but liked watching me explore around
• Crow Country (demo): he backseated and enjoyed it. There's an "exploration mode" that removes enemies. Will probably buy the full game later.

And some "failed" tentatives:

• Tunic: since he liked Link's Awakening, I thought he might like Tunic, but no. Probably because of a lack of NPCs or clear indications, and the game is too difficult for him. Not fun to backseat.
• Zelda BOTW: he tried to play it when he was a bit too young, and had a hard time with it. I'll probably try again soon.
• Minecraft Dungeons: we played 2-3 games but he got bored of it very quickly.
• Diablo 3: he saw me playing and wanted to try it. He liked it much more than Minecraft Dungeons but hated seeing villagers getting turned into zombies, so we stopped here.
• Sandboxes: not his thing (Minecraft, Terraria, No Man's Sky, Animal Crossing)

So in summary, I highlighted the best experiences we had (with Outer Wilds being the best), and I'm looking for something equivalent.

EDIT - I'll try to keep this post up-to-date with the suggestions we liked:

• Superliminal: Excellent, I wasn't expecting such a good game. He's managing most of it alone, and there's even a (harmless) "scary" section
• Untitled Goose Game: Great suggestion. We actually already played it (not to completion), and he loves honking and absolutely not helping me complete the objectives 😅
• Layton series: I think he tried the first one on my DS for an hour or two. I'll suggest it again and be the backseat player myself.
• Luigi's Mansion 3: GOTY

I'm in the top 5% of Google reviewers in the UK, according to those lovely emails they send me. I'm also quite a big reviewer on TripAdvisor.

Who else here leaves reviews? If you do, are you simply factual or comical, a bit of both? Do you do the Positive then Negative, or in reverse? Do you use pics and videos?

Basically, what's your preferred style?

A couple of days ago I asked Tildes about your ten favourite movies. I've taken the results and put them in a sheet to count the results. There were 310 unique movie suggestions from 45 different Tilderinos.

Here are all the movies ranked, with the Top 13 in a table, and the rest in accordions that you can click through to.

Edit: I may have jumped the gun on this, there's another reply in the other thread.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?