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63 votes
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Request: etiquette instructions for neurodiverse teens
Looking for books that target (1) teen person and (2) parents which go over with a fine tooth comb how to navigate basic social skills. I'm looking for something with as explicit instructions as...
Looking for books that target (1) teen person and (2) parents which go over with a fine tooth comb how to navigate basic social skills.
I'm looking for something with as explicit instructions as possible, such as "when someone gives you something, catch their attention, make eye contact, and speak in a loud enough voice to say thank you".
I need something with troubleshooting involved such as, what if they're not looking at me, what if the environment is loud, what if I have my mouth full, what if I've already said it and they didn't hear. I need the instructions to cover things like "what if I'm supposed to follow two conflicting rules".
Basically explaining human customs and manners to bodiless angels who do not learn from observation and whose minds are pure intellect wholly sufficient unto itself, and who need to expend energy and effort to interact with mortals on our plane and operate on our dimensions.
Basics like, how to pass through a doorway when someone is holding the door for you, how to move out of the way when someone is coming towards you on a narrow sidewalk, how to pull over a shopping cart so it doesn't block other shoppers, don't throw/toss things at people when they ask for you to pass an object. These statements have been repeatedly shared with them any number of times to no avail: they're not looking at the world in the same way at all. They're not situationally aware, they're not interested in the world.
I grew up in a world that just screams at people until they behave out of fear and forced compliance. I'm trying to find a different way. Thank you kindly for any recommendations or suggestions.
25 votes -
Swedish companies join forces to steer children away from gang crime – dozens of big businesses from IKEA to Spotify back youth job initiatives as country grapples with epidemic of violence
24 votes -
How a stuffed animal named Billy Possum tried—and failed—to replace the teddy bear as America’s national toy
10 votes -
Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.: Texas measles outbreak is call to action for all of us. MMR vaccine is crucial to avoiding potentially deadly disease.
34 votes -
Cousin marriage: What new evidence tells us about children's risk for ill health and how governments are responding
23 votes -
What is a book that every 13-year-old boy should read?
Thirteen is a difficult age for most. It's a time of transition from childhood into early adulthood. I'm keen for book recommendations you think a 13-year-old should read. Specific topics I'm keen...
Thirteen is a difficult age for most. It's a time of transition from childhood into early adulthood.
I'm keen for book recommendations you think a 13-year-old should read. Specific topics I'm keen to be covered, either directly or through metaphor, are:- Confidence
- Development
- Fitness / Nutrition / Physical Health
- Mental Health
- Finance
- Ethics
But really, anything you think one could tackle at that age and benefit from having read the content.
I've specified boy, because it is a boy who I wish to pass these recommendations on to, and I think that perhaps the advice would be different for a girl.
38 votes -
How can I make life easier on my child who has to (temporarily) use crutches?
Hello fellow Tilderinos. My 9 year old will likely have to use crutches for a few weeks and I'm looking for some tips on how to make her life less miserable. Unfortunately this happened not only...
Hello fellow Tilderinos. My 9 year old will likely have to use crutches for a few weeks and I'm looking for some tips on how to make her life less miserable.
Unfortunately this happened not only right before we're set to fly on holiday this Friday (and we may have to cancel), but in early March she was meant to go on a week long school field trip where they were going to go horse riding and do circus classes. She's understandably upset she's going to miss out. Even if we're still able to fly on holiday next week, she won't be able to participate in the vast majority of activities she usually enjoys.
As a very physically active and social child, I know this is going to be really hard on her. I'd love some tips on how to keep her spirits up and make it possible for her to participate in fun activities (also possibly limit screen time as well). Would welcome any tips you may have to make it a less miserable time for her!
21 votes -
When there’s no school counselor, there’s a bot
18 votes -
What does it mean to be a step-parent?
I've had this idea rattling around in my head all day and feel I need to get it out. I apologize in advance if my thoughts seem jumbled or unoriginal, I'd just like them to escape. As a preface, I...
I've had this idea rattling around in my head all day and feel I need to get it out. I apologize in advance if my thoughts seem jumbled or unoriginal, I'd just like them to escape.
As a preface, I speak of being a step-parent to young children through adolescence. The dynamics change when you are older and your parents remarry.
What does it mean to be a step-parent? I've wrangled with this most of my life in some way - my grandparents divorced before I was born, and I had a step-grandma from the start. Being around her always came with extra rules. I would later realize this was always the case with new step-parents, after my own parents divorced. Is that really what it means to step-parent though? To come into a situation and impose your own new rules and routines on this child that isn't yours, who has no real connection with you? I chafed with these restrictions and impositions. I disagreed many times, and it hurt me when I felt that my parents didn't support me, their child, and instead agreed with this impostor.
Of course this is a simple, childish view, but it was certainly correct in some ways. Most often, I simply felt confused and angry about why these adults who were not my parents were pretending to be. Much of this is likely unresolved trauma from the divorce itself - it was very messy.
At times though, I was right to mistrust these people who had step-ed into my life. My stepmom was (is) emotionally abusive, and my dad enabled and supported that behavior. My stepfather tried to force religion on me, nearly kicking me out of the house over it. Fortunately in that case my mother was ready to leave with me (literally, with packed bags) and he backed down.
So how does one handle a step-parent? How does one be a good step-parent?
Years ago I met a woman who I came to love. She came with two children, who I became a stepfather to. Now I was in the position of the impostor, the interloper to this family dynamic which was already established. I really tried my best to figure out where I should draw what lines. How would discipline be handled? What rules did we need? How would I know that I didn't overstep some boundary or line? Given my history, I felt both prepared and utterly lost for what to do. I didn't feel that I'd ever had a positive model of a step-parent in my life. The closest was my stepmom in some moments where she truly supported us - between the abuses. I certainly wasn't going to be just like HER though.
Like any rational human being then, I talked to my wife about this at length. We established a few ground rules: We would do our best to be consistent (between mom, dad, and me), We would always keep the best interests of the children in mind, and we would never badmouth/doubt/cast shade on the decisions or actions of the other parents involved - at least not to the kids. These gave a good foundation, and we are also fortunate in that the adults in the room could get along and act in good faith with each other.
I work as a teacher, and fell back on that role often - a person of authority, who isn't a parent, but is certainly there to help you succeed and work with the parents. This seems to be a good framework to build off of.
What does it mean to be a step-parent? For me it means being a co-authority, a sort of triumvirate of care for the children. It means accepting that complex situations mean there are few easy, simple answers, and being able to navigate that. It also means knowing where your boundaries are, and not butting up against them, or worse, going over them.
If you are a step-parent, or have had one that's been a positive influence for you, I would love to hear your thoughts. Even if you aren't, or don't, I would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for reading my messy opinion piece, and maybe for the next one I'll write when I have more than an hour to work on a post!
17 votes -
Measles outbreak mounts among children in one of Texas’ least vaccinated counties
25 votes -
US children joked about school shootings. Then the sheriff sent them to jail.
22 votes -
Star Wars recommendations for a six year old
Kid has just started getting into Star Wars, which is great because I could buy a set of light sabres for Christmas and no what do you mean that was for the kid it absolutely wasn't a present for...
Kid has just started getting into Star Wars, which is great because I could buy a set of light sabres for Christmas and no what do you mean that was for the kid it absolutely wasn't a present for myself as well. Anyway, countless hours of duelling later...
We have watched the "first" two films (ep 4 and 5) and plan to watch the remaining movies at some points. A few grabbing-my-arm scary moments but it's OK because "the good guys always win, right Daddy?"
We're playing Lego Star Wars together on the Playstation, which is brilliant fun. Their face when they blew up the Death Star all by themselves was fantastic. Everyone was excited for the rest of the day.
We are hitting the phonics books, of which there is plenty. Kid loves books and stories but isn't such a fan of reading for themselves as yet - but will ask me to let them read to me if there are Star Wars books on the pile, which is great.
However, that's where my Star Wars knowledge ends. I know there's a whole boatload of EU stuff out there, but I have no idea what it is, or what of it is suitable (or not) for a six year old. Any suggestions? We have a rotating selection of streaming services live at any given time, but I'm ok with the occasional venture into choppier waters if needed.
21 votes -
Building games with LLMs to help my kid learn math
9 votes -
US President signs order restricting gender-affirming treatments for anyone under 19
42 votes -
Kids at-home science experiments (of the less tame variety)
My 5-year-old loves doing “science experiments” at home with me and her older siblings, but it seems that the online lists of experiments we’re choosing from are truncated to leave off all but the...
My 5-year-old loves doing “science experiments” at home with me and her older siblings, but it seems that the online lists of experiments we’re choosing from are truncated to leave off all but the least dangerous activities. This makes sense for a lot of low-parental-involvement contexts, but I’m going to be directing and deeply involved in these experiments. And I want fire. Smoke. Sparks. I want to make these experiments feel adventurous so the kids get really excited about whatever we’re learning. Baking soda and vinegar volcanoes and elephant toothpaste just don’t cut it.
What experiments can you recommend using only relatively common household materials? Chemicals, candles, electricity, a stovetop, etc. (Assume that the experimenters will all be taking standard precautions, wearing PPE, and generally using the experiments as both an opportunity to learn about science and about the safety measures that go with science experimentation.)
Or if you know of any websites listing these more spectacular home science experiments, please share those as well.
Bonus if the experiments involve multiple possible outcomes that the kid can use pen and paper and elementary math to predict in advance.
28 votes -
Genshin Impact game developer will be banned from selling lootboxes to teens under 16 without parental consent, pay a $20 million fine to settle US Federal Trade Commission charges
45 votes -
Supreme Court seems ready to back Texas law limiting access to pornography
20 votes -
Yrityskylä is a ten-lesson programme where Finnish sixth graders learn how business, the economy and society work as well as how to apply for a job
10 votes -
Writing toy code with ChatGPT is a blast
14 votes -
Benefits of roughhousing with your children
20 votes -
Growing pollution in Pakistan’s Punjab province has sickened 1.8M people in a month, officials say
13 votes -
HIV/AIDs-centered camp in northern Minnesota is closing, and that's wonderful!
20 votes -
Meet the people running LGBTQ+ youth shelters during the hardest season
24 votes -
US youth drug use defies expectations, continues historic decline
23 votes -
Do any of you use Hulu? Looking for shows that entertain adults but a 7 year old can be in the room.
Cop shows or mysteries, snarky comedies like Golden girls or Mash, Roseanne or Barney Miller, Simpsons yes, South Park no. Drama is fine if it's not visually problematic for a child. All...
Cop shows or mysteries, snarky comedies like Golden girls or Mash, Roseanne or Barney Miller, Simpsons yes, South Park no.
Drama is fine if it's not visually problematic for a child.
All recommendations are appreciated
12 votes -
Kenyan single mothers ‘trapped’ in Saudi Arabia as exit visas denied to children born outside marriage
7 votes -
School smartphone ban results in better sleep and improved mood
32 votes -
Sweden's government considering imposing age limits on social media platforms if tech companies find themselves unable to prevent gangs from recruiting young people online
20 votes -
American parents are stealing their children’s identities to access debt
27 votes -
Australia’s social media ban and why it's not cut and dry
Australia’s proposed social media ban is deeply concerning and authoritarian. It's disturbing to see how much of the general public supports this measure. Prominent organizations, including...
Australia’s proposed social media ban is deeply concerning and authoritarian. It's disturbing to see how much of the general public supports this measure.
Prominent organizations, including Amnesty International, the Australian Human Rights Commission, and Electronic Frontiers Australia, have voiced significant concerns about this legislation:
Amnesty International's Explanation of the Social Media Ban
Australian Human Rights Commission on the Proposed Social Media Ban for Under-16s
EFA's Critique of the Social Media Age BanAustralia has a troubling history with internet legislation. Noteworthy examples include the Australian Internet Firewall under Stephen Conroy and Malcolm Turnbull's infamous statement, "The laws of mathematics are very commendable, but the only law that applies in Australia is the law of Australia," regarding encryption backdoors.
While I recognize the issues with social media, "don't feed the trolls," along with maintaining online anonymity and implementing parental controls ( no phones with unfettered internet access ), should work. This law indiscriminately punishes all Australians for the missteps of a few, potentially leading to increased identity theft through phone and email scams and causing older family who are not tech literate to lose connections with their families due to the complexities of government-issued tokens.
Adults will be the ones who are going to be most impacted by this legislation.
The scope of this law is extensive. The Online Safety website suggests that this is merely the beginning, with plans to cover the entire web, including games, adult content, and more. The consequences are profound: the erosion of true anonymity and increased risk to government whistle-blowers and journalistic sources.
Requiring individuals to provide their identity to a third party to access the internet, which many have used freely for decades, is alarming. It threatens to sanitize search results and revoke access to purchased games if users refuse additional identity verification measures. There are no grandfathered exceptions, highlighting the law's intent to de-anonymize the internet.
Although Australia lacks a constitutionally protected right to free speech, this law poses significant risks to whistleblowers and marginalized youth in remote communities. Instead of banning access and creating allure through prohibition, we should address the root causes of why younger people are drawn to such content.
Once entrenched in law, any opposition will be met with accusations of perversion or indifference to child safety, compounded by the spread of misinformation. We must critically assess and address these laws to protect our freedoms and privacy.
There wouldn't be speculation if they defined how they intend the law to work. Instead of a "don't worry about it we will work it out", give people something to say that's not so bad and I can live with it
15 votes -
Australian Parliament bans social media for under-16s with world-first law
61 votes -
Private school - worthwhile/good idea for not rich people?
Did you or someone you know go to [edit public private, parent paid] school, esp if the students' parents can't easily afford it? Did their parents actually move to be closer to a prestigious...
Did you or someone you know go to [edit
publicprivate, parent paid] school, esp if the students' parents can't easily afford it? Did their parents actually move to be closer to a prestigious school? Is it worth it for folks who aren't old boys/old girls and in general are neither new nor old money? Does it ever make sense to use the college fund to pay for secondary education?28 votes -
A review of the Lego Mini Chef restaurant in Denmark – in which a meal prepared by tiny plastic people sparks a revelation about hospitality
12 votes -
Paternity leaves in Finland have nearly doubled in length after a 2022 reform of the parental leave system, the social benefits agency has said
13 votes -
The Kids Should See This
32 votes -
Sweden's libraries caught in a political row about drag story hour – far right have tried to block events from taking place, with varied levels of success
16 votes -
Norway is to enforce a strict minimum age limit on social media of fifteen as the government ramped up its campaign against tech companies it says are “pitted against small children's brains”
32 votes -
This journalist spent a year living with the embattled families of trans youth
18 votes -
Inside the TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people
33 votes -
Violence against children reaches unprecedented levels worldwide
15 votes -
Roblox: Inflated key metrics for Wall Street and a pedophile hellscape for kids
24 votes -
We only learnt of our son’s secret online life after he died at 20
42 votes -
In Canada, Brantford-area child dies from rabies after contact with a bat, health official says
27 votes -
The painful secret many people live with: The fatal flaw -- A deep-seated, entrenched feeling/belief that you are somehow different from other people; that something is wrong with you
41 votes -
London saw a surprising benefit to fining high-polluting cars: More active kids
28 votes -
Getting shorter and going hungrier: how children in the UK live today
17 votes -
Swedish government says excessive screen time is causing a severe health crisis for youth – new legislation in the works to require schools to ban access to digital devices
14 votes -
US child poverty sharply increased between 2021 and 2023
16 votes -
How I built an NFC movie library for my kids
22 votes