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28 votes
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How do you learn to recognize your own emotions?
I'm a pretty introspective person. I grew up with an emotionally abusive parent, struggled with my mental health from teenagerhood, and been to more therapy than I can remember since the time of...
I'm a pretty introspective person. I grew up with an emotionally abusive parent, struggled with my mental health from teenagerhood, and been to more therapy than I can remember since the time of my parents' divorce when I was eight. My siblings and I have done a lot of deconstructing over the years to figure out what the heck happened to us (the abuse was pretty insidious and, of course, we normalized it) and how it affected us internally. I'm also most likely autistic and have always struggled to socialize correctly, which led to a LOT of observation and imitation that was both conscious and unconscious.
Despite all this practice at introspection though, in the past few years, I've come to realize I am wildly out of touch with my own emotions. I am tempted to blame much of this on the fact that I was always collecting social "scripts" to follow, so that I could react appropriately to jokes, or good/bad news, or whatever. If you're acting, you don't actually need to know how you feel. And if you feel something different from standard, it's irrelevant because it's "wrong" to feel that way, so you ignore it. So it took me a long time to realize that my display for other people was actually pretty disconnected from whether I was actually feeling anything. I don't feel it was dishonest, though, because I still would have wanted to show sympathy, excitement, etc. for the people I care about. It just takes me so long to process things that I wouldn't have been able to do it within the same conversation if I didn't have a ready script.
I know that some autistic people experience alexithymia/emotional blindness, but it doesn't look terribly well understood. I know I should probably get back on the therapy horse, for a number of reasons including this one, but I'm pretty leery. I never felt like it helped me much. (Although most of it, at the time, was to help me with "depression". Which I certainly had, but there was no understanding from either my end or theirs that the cause was likely rooted in ADHD/autism.) And I did try to start up again last year; I found a psychologist who specialized in ADHD and autism, and although she seemed understanding at first, I felt like I couldn't establish any clear communication and we just kept talking past each other. At this time, I super don't have the energy to keep trying new therapists, and waste weeks or months on each one before I figure out we won't click.
So I ask: have any of you folks ever dealt with emotional blindness? If so, how have you learned to identify your emotions? Do you keep a feelings journal, and how do you even know what to put in at first? Any advice is welcome!
39 votes -
What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them?
What have you been playing lately? Discussion about video games and board games are both welcome. Please don't just make a list of titles, give some thoughts about the game(s) as well.
16 votes -
In Northeast D.C., a rancorous post-election fight erupts — over bike lanes
1 vote -
Thousands of Americans see their savings vanish in Synapse fintech crisis
44 votes -
Your boss is probably spying on you: New data on workplace surveillance
22 votes -
What's on your Christmas wish list?
I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet (for those in the US), but Christmas shopping season has already started. What gifts would you enjoy receiving this year? Large, small, fun, functional, or...
I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet (for those in the US), but Christmas shopping season has already started.
What gifts would you enjoy receiving this year? Large, small, fun, functional, or anything in between. I also acknowledge that some people try not to request anything as part of a minimalist or reduced waste mindset. In that situation, what do you request- money, donations to specific charities on your behalf, something else?
34 votes -
Stellar Blade: The fake outrage
0 votes -
Supreme Court wants US input on whether ISPs should be liable for users’ piracy, in $1 billion Sony v. Cox case
22 votes -
Don't call it a Substack
31 votes -
Autopsy report as novel intro? How?
Hey, Tildes! cqns here - After four-ish years, I've finally sat down and realized that my "novel thing" is...non-conventional at best. As such, it required a whole rewrite of the introduction,...
Hey, Tildes! cqns here -
After four-ish years, I've finally sat down and realized that my "novel thing" is...non-conventional at best. As such, it required a whole rewrite of the introduction, beginning with a cold open, an autopsy report. Problem with that is (1) I'm not a medical professional in any capacity and (2) I've already looked up how to do this (Reddit's no help, obviously). Basically, I want this autopsy report to look realistic and to also increase my understanding of how to decipher one so I can get an idea of how to write it...10 votes -
The Lonely Island - Here I Go (ft. Charli XCX) (Uncensored version, 2024)
26 votes -
Private school - worthwhile/good idea for not rich people?
Did you or someone you know go to [edit public private, parent paid] school, esp if the students' parents can't easily afford it? Did their parents actually move to be closer to a prestigious...
Did you or someone you know go to [edit
publicprivate, parent paid] school, esp if the students' parents can't easily afford it? Did their parents actually move to be closer to a prestigious school? Is it worth it for folks who aren't old boys/old girls and in general are neither new nor old money? Does it ever make sense to use the college fund to pay for secondary education?28 votes -
Lilo & Stitch | Official teaser
7 votes -
My late suggestions for Noirvember!
4 votes -
November 2024 Backlog Burner: Week 4 Discussion
Week 4 has begun! Post your current bingo cards. Continue updating us on your games! Quick links: Backlog Bingo Site Week 1 Discussion and Event Guidelines Week 2 Discussion Week 3 Discussion Week...
Week 4 has begun!
Post your current bingo cards.
Continue updating us on your games!Quick links:
Week 3 Recap
12 participants played 12 bingo cards and moved 34 games out of their backlogs!
There were 0 bingo wins.- 4 people played Flow bingo cards
- 8 people played Flux bingo cards
Thus far, a total of 87 games have been played for the November 2024 Backlog Burner.
Week 3 Game List:
- Ariel_Knight’s Never Yield
- BioShock 2 Remastered
- Call of the Sea
- Cave Story+
- Cavity Busters
- Celeste
- Cloud Gardens
- Convoy
- Eigengrau
- FPS Chess
- Garden Life: A Cozy Simulator
- Golf Club Nostalgia
- Hades
- Half-Life 2: VR Mod
- Lost in Blue
- Mining Mechs
- No Man’s Sky
- Paradise Killer
- Party Hard
- PictoQuest
- Portal 2
- Portal with RTX
- Praey for the Gods
- Prey
- Project Borealis: Prologue
- Project Warlock II
- Pumpkin Jack
- Slant
- Subnautica
- The Falconeer
- The Gardens Between
- Victoria 3
- Warhammer 40,000: Darktide
- Warpips
Week 2 Recap
14 participants played 13 bingo cards and moved 36 games out of their backlogs!
There were 0 bingo wins.- 6 people played Flow bingo cards
- 7 people played Flux bingo cards
- 1 person played free choice
Thus far, a total of 53 games have been played for the November 2024 Backlog Burner.
Week 2 Game List:
- A Dance of Fire and Ice
- ActRaiser
- Affordable Space Adventures
- Anomaly: Warzone Earth
- CAYNE
- Celeste 64: Fragments of the Mountain
- Control
- Cult of the Lamb
- Dark Future: Blood Red States
- DarkStar One
- Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
- Journey to the Savage Planet
- Lethal Company
- Mandragora (demo)
- Monster Hunter Wilds (beta)
- Moonring
- Odysseus Kosmos and his Robot Quest (and Let's Play video by u/JCPhoenix)
- Otherskin (demo)
- Part Time UFO
- Pikmin 4
- Pokémon Kanto Expansion Pak
- REMNANT II
- Rumu
- Secrets of Grindea
- Snow Moto Racing Freedom
- Super Mario Eclipse
- Super Mario Maker 2
- Super Mega Baseball: Extra Innings
- Tacoma
- TaleSpire
- That Which Gave Chase
- The Battle of Polytopia (and Let's Play video by u/JCPhoenix))
- The Secret of Monkey Island: Special Edition
- Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines
- Wilderless
- Yes, Your Grace\
Week 1 Recap
11 participants played 10 bingo cards and moved 17 games out of their backlogs!
There were 0 bingo wins.- 6 people played Flow bingo cards
- 4 people played Flux bingo cards
- 1 person played free choice
Game list:
16 votes -
Craig Newmark, of Craigslist, is giving away $300 million to improve cybersecurity infrastructure
15 votes -
Sony is reportedly working on a PS5 portable
21 votes -
Wolfheart – Ancient Cold (2024)
4 votes -
How has your industry changed in the past decade?
The other day I had to get new glasses, and I braced myself for my lenses to be incredibly thick and expensive to boot again - but then I had them made, they look normal, and they barely cost me a...
The other day I had to get new glasses, and I braced myself for my lenses to be incredibly thick and expensive to boot again - but then I had them made, they look normal, and they barely cost me a Benjamin. Clearly, the optometrist crowd has made some major developments in the past decade or so, which leads me to ask - if you're working in an industry most people don't really think about, what's happened in your space in the past ten years?
48 votes -
Save Point: A game deal roundup for the week of November 24
Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week! Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle...
Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week!
Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle are most worth my attention?”
Rules:
- No grey market sales
- No affiliate links
If posting a sale, it is strongly encouraged that you share why you think the available game/games are worthwhile.
All previous Save Point topics
If you don’t want to see threads in this series, add
save point
to your personal tag filters.5 votes -
What have you been eating, drinking, and cooking?
What food and drinks have you been enjoying (or not enjoying) recently? Have you cooked or created anything interesting? Tell us about it!
2 votes -
Is anyone planning to play Path of Exile 2?
8 votes -
Weekly US politics news and updates thread - week of November 25
This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate...
This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate topic, but almost all should be posted in here.
This is an inherently political thread; please try to avoid antagonistic arguments and bickering matches. Comment threads that devolve into unproductive arguments may be removed so that the overall topic is able to continue.
4 votes -
Raspberry Pi Pico 2 W on sale now at $7
12 votes -
How animals got butts
7 votes -
Winlator Corefonts Pack (Fixes Steam UI, Epic Games Launcher, and others in Winlator Glibc)
4 votes -
Tildes Book Club Spring and Summer schedule 2025
Next week we will be discussing the City We Became. Our next book discussion after that will be at the end of January. I've organized this schedule so that longer books are followed by shorter...
Next week we will be discussing the City We Became. Our next book discussion after that will be at the end of January.
I've organized this schedule so that longer books are followed by shorter ones. I look forward to reading with you.
Last week in January : Kim Stanley Robinson Ministry for the Future,
Last week in February: Trevor Noah Born a Crime,
Last week in March: Dan Simmons Hyperion,
Last week in April: Adrian Tchaikovsky Elder Race,
Last week in May: Victor LaValle a People's Future of the United States,
Last week in June: T Kingfisher A House with Good Bones,
Last week in July: James McBride the Heaven and Earth grocery Store,
Last week in August: Cats Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut
Last week in September: Ted Chiang Stories of Your Life and Others
14 votes -
Why and how I version my blog
10 votes -
Statement on General Motors application to join FIA Formula One World Championship in 2026
6 votes -
‘Wicked’ and ‘Gladiator II’ AKA ‘Glicked’ fuel $205m combined weekend, best pre-Thanksgiving frame in eleven years
12 votes -
Sony is in talks to buy media powerhouse Kadokawa
21 votes -
Automatic braking systems save lives. Now they’ll need to work at 62 MPH.
28 votes -
What happened to passenger hovercraft?
7 votes -
Requesting recommendations for a smart doorbell
My mom was interested in a smart doorbell to let her know what’s going on at the house when she’s not there, if a package gets dropped off or if someone tries to in. She does have a number of...
My mom was interested in a smart doorbell to let her know what’s going on at the house when she’s not there, if a package gets dropped off or if someone tries to in. She does have a number of Google Pucks and an Android phone with some smart plugs set up with Google Home, but also has Roku TVs if that ecosystem is a major value add. I’m not super interested in yet another subscription service, but if it’s a “monthly fee to make the problem go away,” I can be convinced. Are there any must have recommendations or considerations I should keep in mind?
Edit: As far as I can tell, there’s no wire leads on or around the doorframe. The old setup had a chime wired to the wall of the foyer, but that was uninstalled and the wall was repaired, so I don’t think there’s a lead if that changes recommendations.
16 votes -
Should I stop using Kagi because they do business with Yandex?
So perhaps I should have done more research , should have known, etc. But their recent news post took me by surprise: Your subscription money at work: Image search enhanced with Yandex They're...
So perhaps I should have done more research , should have known, etc. But their recent news post took me by surprise:
Your subscription money at work:
Image search enhanced with Yandex
They're just out there bragging about giving money to Yandex. This bothers me.
As I said above, I should perhaps done more to research this before subbing, but that news post.
Shame, as I quite liked the search, but it's back to DDG I guess.
Am I over reacting here? What do others think?
47 votes -
I just bought a 64GB iPad, anything I should know/do?
I'm not a very heavy tablet user, but generally like to have a tablet around for stuff I won't do on my phone. I bought a Pixel Tablet last year when I did my big tech upgrade (new phone, new...
I'm not a very heavy tablet user, but generally like to have a tablet around for stuff I won't do on my phone. I bought a Pixel Tablet last year when I did my big tech upgrade (new phone, new smart watch, new upgraded tablet), but found the experience a bit lacking with the more important stuff I use my tablet for, largely taking notes with OneNote, and very light mobile gaming (which I usually use my phone for, since it's right there).
I'm curious if anybody's got any advice for a non-dedicated Apple user with an iPad. I'm already thinking about synergy with my multi-platform apps like Microsoft 365, Google Drive (free tier) and Mega (which I use as a backup repo for large data that isn't documents like games, music samples, etc).
I'm thinking some music apps would be great to take advantage of the generally lower-latency audio capabilities of the iPad, but aside from that can't think of too much. Otherwise, due to the 64GB, it's going to be my cloud-oriented low-storage tablet.
I saved $70 on a black friday deal on Amazon, so I bought a pen to go with it, which isn't the Apple Pencil and would be curious to know if I'm missing out on a ton doing that as well?
Side question: I would be curious what the third-party app world is like as well, ideally something like iOS F-Droid.
16 votes -
Kyūshū (November) Basho discussion
For the first time in a long while I was able to follow along with a basho while it happened and only finish it a day late. What was everyone's thoughts for this basho? Favorite storyline? Did...
For the first time in a long while I was able to follow along with a basho while it happened and only finish it a day late.
What was everyone's thoughts for this basho?
Favorite storyline?
Did anyone do poorly that you thought would do well and vice versa?1 vote -
Conversational English in 1586
4 votes -
Just bought a Sous Vide. Those who own one, what are your favorite things to use it for? Any recommended accessories?
Have a friend who has raved about using these for cooking meet during the work day and pan searing it for a quick easy and delicious meal. Plan on doing that with steaks/chicken, but wanted to see...
Have a friend who has raved about using these for cooking meet during the work day and pan searing it for a quick easy and delicious meal. Plan on doing that with steaks/chicken, but wanted to see if anyone else on Tildes owns one and has any tips or favorite use cases to share.
23 votes -
Scrapped policy to charge London’s drivers by the mile
4 votes -
World Chess Championship 2024 - Ding Liren vs Gukesh D
The World Chess Championship started today between reigning champion, China's Ding Liren (2728 Elo, 32 y/o) and India's young prodigy Gukesh D. (2783 Elo, 18 y/o). It's taking place in Singapore...
The World Chess Championship started today between reigning champion, China's Ding Liren (2728 Elo, 32 y/o) and India's young prodigy Gukesh D. (2783 Elo, 18 y/o). It's taking place in Singapore with games starting at 5PM local time (10AM CET, 4AM EST). Commentated coverage can be found at Chess.com or FIDE as well as numerous smaller channels.
Coming into the match, Ding is far more experienced, but has been displaying terrible form since becoming World Champion. Meanwhile Gukesh has looked far stronger and has the chance to become the youngest World Champion ever, beating out the likes of Magnus Carlsen and Garry Kasparov by several years. Former World Champion Magnus Carlsen is still ranked as the #1 player in the world, but has declined to participate, just like last year.
The match is 14 games from November 23 to December 13, with potential rapid chess tiebreaks if the score is even after 14 games. The players will have a rest day after every 3 game days.
11 votes -
It was once America’s favorite cake. Why is it now impossible to bake?
67 votes -
Is OneDrive for Linux Mature Enough Yet?
I'm looking to see if anyone can speak to how life is (good, bad, or meh) with using one of the popular OneDrive clients on a common enough Linux distribution. Ok, so allow me to set the...
I'm looking to see if anyone can speak to how life is (good, bad, or meh) with using one of the popular OneDrive clients on a common enough Linux distribution.
Ok, so allow me to set the context...
- My partner uses Windows laptop, and with next year's end of life on Win10, I need to make decision to advise them on whether we get them another Windows laptop (presumably running Win11), or finally get them to take the plunge on using Linux - (a laptop running some common enough linux distro).
- I run linux as my personal daily driver on my laptop for more than a decade, and on server side having been using and dabbling with linux since about 2004. So, i will add also that i'm all bought in on the linux, libre/free and open source lifestyle.
- I'm not a fan of Windows, but not judging that others like my partner use it. By the way, my partner doesn't care about tech nor computing, they simply use applications and move on with their life. (Yes, i have politely nudged them over the years to try linux, but they have been hesitant to do so without a true need, so why rock the love boat, right?)
- My partner's computing needs are quite basic, but slightly tricky...Here is what i mean:
- They use a web browser or mobile apps for the vast majority of their compouting/app needs
- For office suite, they use desktop versions of MS Word and Excel
- Quite importanrtly, they use OneDrive to sync their files (and there are alot important files for them and our family)
So, from a computing needs perspective, that's pretty much it. For every other function and need (e.g. email, productivity, etc.), they simply use browser or mobile apps as noted above.
You might be thinking, well, move them to linux, and if they like Microsoft, then use the Word or Excel browser app, right? Well, they LOATH having to use the browser or mobile versions of Microsoft Office. Being of a certain age, they might be ok with LibreOffice, since it mimics close enough to desktop versions of Word, Excel desktop apps...So, I think the desktop and office suite are less of a problem to find an alternative if needed...
But, OneDrive, yeah, this is the one app that they won't let go. Not because they love Microsoft (they could careless about the company), but because they have a good trust and experience of its functions to date on Windows. Onedrive has really empowered their workflow. That is, because they jump from browser to mobile app often through their day, etc....the feature of having a file easily and reliably sync (via onedrive) between devices is probably the most important need that they have.Now, before anyone says, well try "NextCloud"...yeah, been there and done that. Nextcloud works wonderfully for me (has for years)...but it does not conform exactly to my partner's workflow. I've tried Collabera, but could never get it to work reliably enough. I want to state again, i am a strong, emphatic open source advocate...But if my partner can't get their work done without me constantly diagnosing and fixing things....then its not proper solution for them.
So, while i have a solid linux or open source option for all of their other needs, Onedrive is the challenge here. So, can anyone advise, how things are with onedrive clients on linux? Any particular client that is worth me looking into? What about a specific linux distro that, maybe possibly works best with a particular onedrive linux client? I should add that my partner is willing to pay for file synching and does NOT want to have me self-host things for this single function since they don't want to have me kill myself in supporting it. So, if there is a valid alternative to onedrive that is awesome on linux, and that they can pay a company to reliably host, that is welcome as well.
Or, should i simply advise them to stick to Windows through EOL, get them set on Win11 along with native Onedrive, and move on with our lives?
I'm thankful for anyone's recommendations and advice. Cheers!
15 votes -
Formula 1 Las Vegas Grand Prix 2024 - Results
Warning: this post may contain spoilers
And that's a wrap on the WDC! Congrats to Max on his 4th Drivers Championship in a row!
So I need to rewatch the race. The race was at 1am my time, which isn't super late for me...but I fell asleep between laps 16-45. Oops.
Anyway, we are back in another triple-header -- anyone else think the schedule sucks this year? Only two more races left. Next weekend in Qatar, and then the season finale the following weekend in Abu Dhabi. The WCC is still in play, so hopefully we'll get an exciting end of the season.
Next race:
Qatar Grand Prix
Lusail International Circuit
Sunday, December 1Provisional GRAND PRIX Results -- SPOILER
Pos No Driver Car Laps Time/retired Pts 1 63 George Russell Mercedes 50 1:22:05.969 25 2 44 Lewis Hamilton Mercedes 50 +7.313s 18 3 55 Carlos Sainz Ferrari 50 +11.906s 15 4 16 Charles Leclerc Ferrari 50 +14.283s 12 5 1 Max Verstappen Red Bull Racing Honda RBPT 50 +16.582s 10 6 4 Lando Norris McLaren Mercedes 50 +43.385s 9 7 81 Oscar Piastri McLaren Mercedes 50 +51.365s 6 8 27 Nico Hulkenberg Haas Ferrari 50 +59.808s 4 9 22 Yuki Tsunoda RB Honda RBPT 50 +62.808s 2 10 11 Sergio Perez Red Bull Racing Honda RBPT 50 +63.114s 1 11 14 Fernando Alonso Aston Martin Aramco Mercedes 50 +69.195s 0 12 20 Kevin Magnussen Haas Ferrari 50 +69.803s 0 13 24 Zhou Guanyu Kick Sauber Ferrari 50 +74.085s 0 14 43 Franco Colapinto Williams Mercedes 50 +75.172s 0 15 18 Lance Stroll Aston Martin Aramco Mercedes 50 +84.102s 0 16 30 Liam Lawson RB Honda RBPT 50 +91.005s 0 17 31 Esteban Ocon Alpine Renault 49 +1 lap 0 18 77 Valtteri Bottas Kick Sauber Ferrari 49 +1 lap 0 NC 23 Alexander Albon Williams Mercedes 25 DNF 0 NC 10 Pierre Gasly Alpine Renault 15 DNF 0 Fastest Lap: Lando Norris
Source: F1.com
17 votes -
Turkish woman convicted under anti-terror laws for sharing Guardian article on social media
24 votes -
Norway launches Jon Fosse prize for literary translators – aims to celebrate the work of an overlooked and underpaid profession facing an existential threat from AI
13 votes