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    1. Using work OSX machine while travelling

      I will shortly be travelling for work. I do not have the capacity to bring anything other than my work machine. In addition to working every day I would like to: legally stream movies in the...

      I will shortly be travelling for work. I do not have the capacity to bring anything other than my work machine. In addition to working every day I would like to: legally stream movies in the evening, work on writing, email friends etc. At home of course I use a separate laptop for this but in this case I won't have that option. Any thoughts on how best to achieve a separation of concerns while travelling? How do people on Tildes manage this case?

      p.s I know in a best case scenario it's not ideal, hence my behaviour at home, I just need a working method for this particular case.

      12 votes
    2. Movie of the Week #16 - The Aviator

      First Martin Scorsese this time around with the animated The Aviator from 2004. IMDb Letterboxd Wikipedia Are you familiar with other of Martin Scorsese's movies and how do you like this compared...

      First Martin Scorsese this time around with the animated The Aviator from 2004.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Are you familiar with other of Martin Scorsese's movies and how do you like this compared to his other movies? Feel free to add any thoughts, opinions, reflections, analysis or whatever comments related to this film.


      The rest of the schedule for February is:

      • 19th: Batman Begins
      • 26th: Gangs of New York
      12 votes
    3. The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas and the stories that came after it

      I think I first came across "The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas" by Ursula K LeGuin a few years ago. I read something else in conversation with it, but somehow had missed the original. Hugo Award...

      I think I first came across "The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas" by Ursula K LeGuin a few years ago. I read something else in conversation with it, but somehow had missed the original. Hugo Award winning and Locus award nominated, I thought folks might be interested in discussing it and its descendants.

      LeGuin's original in pdf format

      Omelas is a utopia in the middle of a festival. And as the narrator explains the city to you, they understand that you may not believe it is even possible.

      The ones who walk away from Omelas spoilers So the narrator explains that keeping this city a utopia relies on the horrible and perpetual suffering of a single child. At a certain age, all citizens are brought to see the suffering child and they're all horrified, but most come to see that the prosperity and safety of everyone is served by the suffering of this one child. The ones who don't, walk away and never return.

      Othe authors have written stories in conversation with this,

      NK Jemisin's The Ones Who Stay And Fight is directly engaging with it.

      In Um-Helat There is a utopia, and no child suffering in a hole. But when suffering arises, there is a call to fix it.

      The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik (the 3rd Scholomance book) engages with this idea too.

      Golden Enclaves major plot point spoiler All the major enclaves of magic users are build on the death of an innocent - someone that has never taken and used magic from the death or pain of other beings, and at least once a teenager, but likely a often child due to the restriction. This allows you to create a safe home against the magical monsters but also creates an ever hungry devouring monster of perpetual suffering (a maw mouth) that is unleashed on anyone who doesn't have an enclave to protect them. There's a way to build them without this, but the enclaves would be smaller and less luxurious, and after all, it's only one person...

      So I had read all of the above works and been mulling over the topic of Omelas, and then found this story today

      Why Don't We Just Kill the Kid In the Omelas Hole

      In which people, uh, start killing the kid in the Omelas hole. Sorry, not a lot of room not to spoil that given the title. I'll let you read the story for where that goes.

      Risk of spoilers for the above works from here:
      I think there is a lot about our society here. LeGuin herself said the story, "has a long and happy career of being used by teachers to upset students and make them argue fiercely about morality." Because what is the right answer? Novik, via El in the Scholomance series says to burn it down. Jemisin says there is a better way. I don't believe LeGuin is arguing that the ones who walk away are "right" in that they leave having benefited from Omelas and the child still suffers.

      But I thought folks who hadn't read one or more of these might enjoy them, and I find they make me think and often won't stop letting me think.

      ETA: ST:SNW did an entire episode using Omelas as an inspiration. I haven't seen it so I can't speak to it but wanted to add it here for reference.

      36 votes
    4. The body keeps the score, even when the memory has been completely erased

      I'm not here to talk about the New York Times bestseller, so apologies to anyone who's come looking for an informed discussion on that. Apologies if I'm posting this in the incorrect place, please...

      I'm not here to talk about the New York Times bestseller, so apologies to anyone who's come looking for an informed discussion on that. Apologies if I'm posting this in the incorrect place, please move or delete the post if it's inappropriate. I had something of a breakthrough in therapy recently and I don't have anyone to share this with (for reasons that may become obvious) so I'm turning to Tildes to vomit these thoughts out into the world somewhere.

      Like a lot of us growing older, I've been spending a some time trying to better understand myself and come to peace with the person I am. One of the aspects people around me (and myself) find perplexing is how I'm able to be personable and friendly, even popular in some circles, but given the choice I will stay away from people as much as possible (except for a very select few I can count on one hand). I often joke that if it weren't for my wife and kids I'd probably be feral and live in the woods, bite anyone who tries to get too close. That lady that lived alone in a cave for over a year? Life goals. I thought I was just a mega introvert, but something my therapist and I discussed made me realise that that side of my personality may be (at least partly?) a manifestation of past trauma. So here is my villain origin story.

      I've shared before on Tildes that I was very sick with cancer for a good chunk of my infancy. Whenever someone finds out I had cancer (it's left fairly visible marks, so the topic inevitably comes up) I always say it's ok, I don't remember it at all, so really it's my parents who lived through the trauma, not me, ha ha. I no longer believe that is entirely true. The body does keep the score after all. My therapist pointed out that I must have spent many moments alone dealing with the consequences, unable to fully share or understand what I was going through. Moments where I was physically manipulated whichever way, by people and instruments, dealing the nausea, the pain and the fatigue. I was too young to fully articulate my distress, ask for help (beyond crying) or seek solutions to the problems I faced. So for some moments at least I had only myself to rely on. Did the part of me that would normally seek out others die a little then?

      My parents used to remark that as a child I never cried out, just tears streaming silently down my face. They speak of how I used to play contentedly alone for hours. How I rarely asked for help when I really needed it. Don't get me wrong, I'm able to form relationships with people, and I'm perfectly capable of functioning in society. I do seek out others for company, connection, validation, love, etc, and vice versa. But I can't shake the feeling that there's something broken in those connections. It feels like something is amiss, even if I've mostly come to terms with being this way. I'm left thinking - did the trauma (at least partly) make me who I am? Where does the trauma end and where do I begin? How many of us are potentially totally different people today because the body remembers when we have completely and utterly forgotten? And if that's the case, is that...ok?

      48 votes
    5. Butcher block countertops - stain and finishing

      Howdy all, TL;DR - Installed new cabinets, picked up new butcher block countertops to match existing. Stained it - using the Minwax stain and planned on using Watco Butcher Block finish to finish...

      Howdy all,

      TL;DR - Installed new cabinets, picked up new butcher block countertops to match existing. Stained it - using the Minwax stain and planned on using Watco Butcher Block finish to finish it. I am concerned about food safety and health. Note I am not using these as actual cutting boards. Just countertops. Would using the Watco finish be safe/sufficient for sealing the stain?

      So to give a little context, my wife and I moved into our home close to 5 years ago. The person who flipped our house put in standard big box birch butcher block countertops. We like them! They stained them a nice dark color and we have not thought much about them. From what they mentioned, they "finished" the counters with the Watco Butcher Block finish. Occasionally the areas near the sink get grey and dry from water and could use a clean/restoration. Of which I have been using Howard butcher block conditioner and I think it does a great job of giving the wood some life.

      Now I finally got around to installing some more cabinets, and I picked up another countertop. Obviously wanting it to match, I just used the same Minwax stain that the flipper used. I had planned on sanding all of the old countertops re-applying the stain and then coating in some urethane-like topcoat in hopes of helping stop the discoloration and make the counter more durable.

      This lead me down a rabbit hole of a bunch of people online basically yelling about putting anything other than butcher block finish or mineral oil on butcher block countertops and how its not food safe/toxic. So naturally this kind of freaked me out. Is the stain on the current counters harmful? Do I need to sand everything and then reapply with just a food safe option? Can I just sand and add a poly topcoat? Or am I fine to just have the stain on it and use the Watco butcher block finish? AM I POISONING MYSELF?!

      I would like to add we do not use these countertops as actual cutting boards. We always use a "real" cutting board.

      Really I am just looking for some advice or a sanity check to make sure I'm not harming ourselves. Hoping this could also help someone else learn without having to do it the hard way.

      Thanks all so much for any info anyone is willing to provide.

      10 votes
    6. RSS users - how do you use, organize and maximize your enjoyment of RSS?

      It's not something I've thought about much until I had a conversation with someone who sets up their RSS reader, and uses it, completely differently to me. I self-host FreshRSS, and typically just...

      It's not something I've thought about much until I had a conversation with someone who sets up their RSS reader, and uses it, completely differently to me.

      I self-host FreshRSS, and typically just use the Web UI provided by that - sometimes I use Android RSS apps to consume from that, but I've never found one I like that much. But I just categorize my RSS feeds by broad theme, e.g. computing & tech, local news, programming, tech news, gaming, business and so on...

      For the most part, I just browse through my main feed a few times per day and see if anything catches my eye. The only exception to this is that I have a few feeds in the 'Important' feed. One example is the forum related to a university project, where I need to know about entries pretty quickly.

      The person I was discussing with never subscribes to anything noisy. No BBC, no Ars Technica, and really nothing that posts more than once per day. They split their feeds into "Important", "Casual", "Videos", "Podcasts" (I never thought to add Podcasts, as I use a separate map) and "Comics". They have it set up with the intention of reading everything that comes through.

      I respect the curation effort that it must take to have an RSS feed where everything is interesting enough that you'd want to read it all. But for me, RSS is a method of discovering content. I don't need it too clean or overly curated. For the most part, I'm just going to skim it for interesting titles and subjects. The most curation I do is removing feeds after a while, if I notice I'm never interested in their content.

      I'm very keen to hear how you use RSS.

      46 votes
    7. CMV: Once civilization is fully developed, life will be unfulfilling and boring. Humanity is also doomed to go extinct. These two reasons make life not worth living.

      Hello everyone, I hope you're well. I've been wrestling with two "philosophical" questions that I find quite unsettling, to the point where I feel like life may not be worth living because of what...

      Hello everyone,

      I hope you're well. I've been wrestling with two "philosophical" questions that
      I find quite unsettling, to the point where I feel like life may not be worth
      living because of what they imply. Hopefully someone here will offer me a new
      perspective on them that will give me a more positive outlook on life.


      (1) Why live this life and do anything at all if humanity is doomed to go extinct?

      I think that, if we do not take religious beliefs into account, humanity is
      doomed to go extinct, and therefore, everything we do is ultimately for nothing,
      as the end result will always be the same: an empty and silent universe devoid of human
      life and consciousness.

      I think that humanity is doomed to go extinct, because it needs a source of
      energy (e.g. the Sun) to survive. However, the Sun will eventually die and life
      on Earth will become impossible. Even if we colonize other habitable planets,
      the stars they are orbiting will eventually die too, so on and so forth until
      every star in the universe has died and every planet has become inhabitable.
      Even if we manage to live on an artificial planet, or in some sort of human-made
      spaceship, we will still need a source of energy to live off of, and one day there
      will be none left.
      Therefore, the end result will always be the same: a universe devoid of human
      life and consciousness with the remnants of human civilization (and Elon Musk's Tesla)
      silently floating in space as a testament to our bygone existence. It then does not
      matter if we develop economically, scientifically, and technologically; if we end
      world hunger and cure cancer; if we bring poverty and human suffering to an end, etc.;
      we might as well put an end to our collective existence today. If we try to live a happy
      life nonetheless, we'll still know deep down that nothing we do really matters.

      Why do anything at all, if all we do is ultimately for nothing?


      (2) Why live this life if the development of civilization will eventually lead
      to a life devoid of fulfilment and happiness?

      I also think that if, in a remote future, humanity has managed to develop
      civilization to its fullest extent, having founded every company imaginable;
      having proved every theorem, run every experiment and conducted every scientific
      study possible; having invented every technology conceivable; having automated
      all meaningful work there is: how then will we manage to find fulfilment in life
      through work?

      At such time, all work, and especially all fulfilling work, will have already
      been done or automated by someone else, so there will be no work left to do.

      If we fall back to leisure, I believe that we will eventually run out of
      leisurely activities to do. We will have read every book, watched every
      movie, played every game, eaten at every restaurant, laid on every beach,
      swum in every sea: we will eventually get bored of every hobby there is and
      of all the fun to be had. (Even if we cannot literally read every book or watch
      every movie there is, we will still eventually find their stories and plots to be
      similar and repetitive.)

      At such time, all leisure will become unappealing and boring.

      Therefore, when we reach that era, we will become unable to find fulfillment and
      happiness in life neither through work nor through leisure. We will then not
      have much to do, but to wait for our death.

      In that case, why live and work to develop civilization and solve all of the
      world's problems if doing so will eventually lead us to a state of unfulfillment,
      boredom and misery? How will we manage to remain happy even then?


      I know that these scenarios are hypothetical and will only be relevant in a
      very far future, but I find them disturbing and they genuinely bother me, in the
      sense that their implications seem to rationally make life not worth living.

      I'd appreciate any thoughts and arguments that could help me put these ideas into
      perspective and put them behind me, especially if they can settle these questions for
      good and definitively prove these reasonings to be flawed or wrong, rather than offer
      coping mechanisms to live happily in spite of them being true.

      Thank you for engaging with these thoughts.


      Edit.

      After having read through about a hundred answers (here and elsewhere), here are some key takeaways:

      Why live this life and do anything at all if humanity is doomed to go extinct?

      • My argument about the extinction of humanity seems logical, but we could very well eventually find out that it is totally wrong. We may not be doomed to go extinct, which means that what we do wouldn't be for nothing, as humanity would keep benefitting from it perpetually.
      • We are at an extremely early stage of the advancement of science, when looking at it on a cosmic timescale. Over such a long time, we may well come to an understanding of the Universe that allows us to see past the limits I've outlined in my original post.
      • (Even if it's all for nothing, if we enjoy ourselves and we do not care that it's pointless, then it will not matter to us that it's all for nothing, as the fun we're having makes life worthwhile in and of itself. Also, if what we do impacts us positively right now, even if it's all for nothing ultimately, it will still matter to us as it won't be for nothing for as long as humanity still benefits from it.)

      Why live this life if the development of civilization will eventually lead to a life devoid of fulfilment and happiness?

      • This is not possible, because we'd either have the meaningful work of improving our situation (making ourselves fulfilled and happy), or we would be fulfilled and happy, even if there was no work left.
      • I have underestimated for how long one can remain fulfilled with hobbies alone, given that one has enough hobbies. One could spend the rest of their lives doing a handful of hobbies (e.g., travelling, painting, reading non-fiction, reading fiction, playing games) and they would not have enough time to exhaust all of these hobbies.
      • We would not get bored of a given food, book, movie, game, etc., because we could cycle through a large number of them, and by the time we reach the end of the cycle (if we ever do), then we will have forgotten the taste of the first foods and the stories of the first books and movies. Even if we didn't forget the taste of the first foods, we would not have eaten them frequently at all, so we would not have gotten bored of them. Also, there can be a lot of variation within a game like Chess or Go. We might get bored of Chess itself, but then we could simply cycle through several games (or more generally hobbies), and come back to the first game with renewed eagerness to play after some time has passed.
      • One day we may have the technology to change our nature and alter our minds to not feel bored, make us forget things on demand, increase our happiness, and remove negative feelings.

      Recommended readings (from the commenters)

      • Deep Utopia: Life and Meaning in a Solved World by Nick Bostrom
      • The Fun Theory Sequence by Eliezer Yudkowski
      • The Beginning of Infinity by David Deutsch
      • Into the Cool by Eric D. Schneider and Dorion Sagan
      • Permutation City by Greg Egan
      • Diaspora by Greg Egan
      • Accelerando by Charles Stross
      • The Last Question By Isaac Asimov
      • The Culture series by Iain M. Banks
      • Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom by Cory Doctorow
      • The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus
      • Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
      • This Life: Secular Faith and Spiritual Freedom by Martin Hägglund
      • Uncaused cause arguments
      • The Meaningness website (recommended starting point) by David Chapman
      • Optimistic Nihilism (video) by Kurzgesagt
      23 votes
    8. New Music Fridays: Kacey Musgraves, Little Simz, Usher and more

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your...

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your eye and interest, or share your thoughts about any new music that you've had the chance to listen to this week.

      Discussion Points
      Is there anything you've been looking forward to listening to?
      Any releases that have surprised you?
      Have you listened to any new music recently? What are your thoughts?
      What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past? How does their latest work compare?

      Links:
      Pitchfork - Out This Week
      AllMusic - All New Releases
      Stereogum - New Music

      ~~ Feedback on the format welcome
      9 votes
    9. Word processing like it's 1993

      I thought younger people may find it interesting to experience what older, very popular, word processors were like. Here's WordPerfect 6.0, emulated in the browser:...

      I thought younger people may find it interesting to experience what older, very popular, word processors were like.

      Here's WordPerfect 6.0, emulated in the browser: https://archive.org/details/msdos_wordperfect6

      Here's a link to the instruction manual: https://archive.org/details/wordperfectversi00word/mode/2up

      Here's a bit of history: DOSDays - WordPerfect $495 in 1983 is roughly $1500 today.

      Here's the recommended specs (not the minimum specs)

      Personal computer using 386 processor
      520k free conventional memory
      DOS 6.0 or memory management software
      Hard disk with 16M disk space for complete installation
      VGA graphics adapter and monitor

      F1 is the default help key.

      Page 409 of the manual talks about menus. This is version 6 so they give you a drop down menu. To get an idea of how version 5 and earlier would appear by default (without the menubar, just the blue screen), hit alt v, then p. T (To get the menu back hit alt =, then V, then P) People might find it weird but those drop down menus first appeared in 5.1, and were a bit deal: "On 6th November 1989 WordPerfect released what would be their most successful version - WordPerfect 5.1 for DOS, selling for $495 in the U.S. This was the first version to support Macintosh-style text-based pull down menus to supplement the traditional function key shortcuts and mouse support."

      I'd be interested to know how easy people find it to use. At the time I had the keyboard overlay (example for WP5) and the muscle memory, but that's all gone now.

      53 votes
    10. How to avoid making other people angry on the internet

      I have, at times, experienced that opinions I share online fails to win people over, to the extent that the essence of the thread transforms from that of an exchange of ideas into that of a...

      I have, at times, experienced that opinions I share online fails to win people over, to the extent that the essence of the thread transforms from that of an exchange of ideas into that of a shitstorm.

      Curiously, this is seldom caused by me having controversial views. I’m not especially hateful, and I don’t hold any conservative core ideas, such as advocating for an even less equal society or attacking or belittling various minority groups. If it were just that, then there would be no mystery; my views horrible, and for that reason, they provoke a strong reaction. But despite this not being the case, my views, which are truly very civilised and boring indeed, are sometimes intepreted in interesting ways.

      I think the issue is me not expressing myself as well as I could. Assuming this to be the case, what follow is my own notes on how to better get your (mine) ideas across without misunderstandings.

      Beware of the shortcoming of contemporary writing

      Most of todays readers do not read. Rather, they impatiently give the text a quick glimpse, their brain already craving the next bit of novelty. I've noticed this in myself when I impatiently select random random test when trying to get my brain to read a text online. What's more, those who write has begin taking into account that their audience does not read. This has spawned a peculiar writing style which, for the first time in history(?), is designed not to actually be read, but merely glimpsed through.

      It mostly consist of short paragraphs.

      Often just a single sentence.

      Sometimes two sentences. Maybe three. Four sentences are considered the max.

      To help readers easier skim through it.

      Read more: How can you write web content that people can skim?

      If actually read, it has a staccato-like feel.

      Almost like free verse poetry.

      There are other characteristica too.

      • Scattering links throughout.
      • Inserting “Read more about“ references to other articles.
      • Inserting list such as this one.
      • Adding heaps of headlines.

      I guess pretty much everyone have seen this particular style, and, to some degree, adapted it themselves. So there is a tendency to naturally try to boil everything down to a single, ultra-short paragraph. However, human language is not computer code; trying to destill a deeper set of ideas down to a Xwitter-length sentence will inevitably cause its fragile essence to be lost in translation. There is a reason why books are the length of, well, books, and not just the SparkNotes summary thereoff.

      To build upon this idea, note that most dog-whistles comes in the form of a single, short sentence, as the shortness, unlike computer code, make it vague, opening it up for multiple interpretations. Indeed, some dog whistles doesn’t contain any words at all, but consists of a single emoji, such as “milk” or “the OK sign”.

      If you write about more elusive fluffy ideas, ideas where your angle runs the risk of being read the wrong way, your writing has to go all the way, fully exposing your point with absolute clarity. You have to show it from every angle to make your vision travel through the written words and into the mind of the reader.

      Sleep on it

      If you aren’t sure you got everything right, no rush. You can always wait a bit, and go over it later.

      Don’t accidently target other users

      Lets say that someone posts the notorious recipe “Chicken and ham extravaganta”, and say that they don’t think society should go vegan because a balanced diet is better than a green one. You just happen to have a bunch of replies to that. For one thing, flesh food is not traditionally balanced, but centered around the meat, with everything else being mere decoration. Also, there are lots of protein sources other than meat. But most importantly, the vegan movement is not about what is the most healthy diet, but about it being morally wrong to kill a sentient creature just to eat its meat.

      But this is a general argument about veganism. If you write it as a reply to someone recomendinging a “Chicken and ham extravaganta”, you’re essentially calling them a bad person.

      So don’t reply. If you want to push your point, at least wait a bit and then create a new post, so you don’t target a specific user.

      Don’t drink and post

      Nope. Just don’t.

      Avoid provocateur headlines

      I might have given this post the headline “How to speak honestly without being banned for misogyny, racism, transphobia, and fascism”, or maybe “I was banned and censored on tilde.net. Here’s my conclusions.” Headlines which are undeniably more juicy, more clickbaity, if you will. You can almost smell the raising adrenaline. Controversy! Read all about it!

      To me, this is hard to resist, because I really love the aethetic of blatant, vulgar marketing. But it also tends to backfire more often than not.

      Also, even if the actual content of my post is okay, people who have experienced racism or transphobia might not be super thrilled about me playing around with racism and transphobia in my headline. Saying something “jokingly” is still saying it.

      As an aside, me being temporary banned and having my posts deleted was what inspired me to write this post. I don’t have anything much to say about this itself, other than I would have liked it if removed post had a line about the reason for removal, and I would also note that, if you get banned, the red text bleed into be backgrund in a way which is aestetically displeasing.

      Diversity reading

      You might try mentally test reading your post from the perspective of groups which play a role in the content of your post. After all, if you talk about someone, you should be able to say it to their face. Also, it is entirely possible that your post will be read by those you talk about.

      Take the rules for being a good listener, then invert them

      Listening is a skill which most people haven’t learned. So when you speak your mind, it is worth taking precautions for the likely scenario that your readers will not follow the rules for the optimal listener. So let’s try inverting the rules:

      When listening to others, always give their view the most generous intepretation —> If your words can be interpreted as ignorant, biggoted, or fashy, they will be, always.

      Truly listen to others and try to understand them before giving your answer —> Assume that people will skim through your post.

      I want to point out that (in bold and uppercase just for the heck of it) I DON’T SAY THIS TO WHINE ABOUT BAD PEOPLE READING MY POSTS UNFAIRLY. Nope, absolute nope. My point is the exact opposite; I have a deeply held belief that any writer or author who is “misunderstood” could have avoided it by writing better. The writer should be expected to know his audience and know how to write in circles around any potential misintepretation.

      Got that? Ok. Let’s look at what we can do to address those two issues.

      If your words can be interpreted as ignorant, biggoted, or fashy, they will be, always.

      When writing a post, I sometimes get the notion that something I write might be taken the wrong way. But then I forget about it, because I’m busy building a clever metaphor finding just the right word. And without fail, my post get misinterpreted in exactly that way I thought it would. So always listen to that little voice. In my experience, it is seldom wrong.

      This is not just to avoid you getting trashed online. Another more important aspect which is typically overlooked, is that if your post can, somehow, be misinterpreted in horrible ways, it may also be read as such by people who truly hold those views, people who then sees you as an ally. You really don’t want that.

      Sometimes it is a simple matter of changing your phrasing. Other times, directly stating what you do or do not believe is in order.

      Assume that people will skim through your post.

      While you can’t predict exactly how our post is going to be skimmed through, It is likely that they will have read your headline. So use that as leverage to push your most important points, or the general vibe of your post. Your first paragraph is likely to be read too. If your post is longer, you can also add subheaders with key info. You can also use the inverted pyramid structure, leading with the information any reader must know, followed by things which will grant them greater understanding, and ending with the interesting nice to know stuff.

      This is what I got so far! If you got any advice of your own, please share!

      34 votes
    11. Notifications are ads

      This is a thought I've been having a lot lately. It seems like 90% of notifications I get these days both on my phone and computer are ads begging me to either: upgrade a service I already have...

      This is a thought I've been having a lot lately. It seems like 90% of notifications I get these days both on my phone and computer are ads begging me to either: upgrade a service I already have ("you're running out of space on [insert cloud service here] at 75% usage will you please UPGRADE?") or re-engage with an app that hasn't sucked enough of my attention ("we MISS you! PLEASE engage!"), with the remaining tiny minority being useful actionable information. I've noticed too that social media notifications NEVER give you enough detail about something that's going on to not have to open the app directly. It's kind of exhausting to the point where I've disabled most notifications on my devices altogether. I don't really know the point of this post other than to commiserate and to simply open it up for discussion. Thoughts?

      EDIT: WOW this blew up! Thanks everyone for your contributions!

      101 votes
    12. AlbumLove (February 2024): 2005-2009

      Time Period: 2005-2009 Choose one album that you love that you think deserves more love Tell us what it is, and why. Previous posts in series Additional Details Why AlbumLove? In this day and age,...

      Time Period: 2005-2009


      Choose one album
      that you love
      that you think deserves more love

      Tell us what it is, and why.


      Previous posts in series


      Additional Details

      Why AlbumLove?

      In this day and age, algorithmic recommendations for music are easy to come by, and it's trivial to seek out new music that interests you by searching online. AlbumLove offers an opportunity to sift through music loved by others, including those who might have divergent tastes from you. Think of this as an opportunity to listen outside of your comfort zone, with music that you know someone else adores, from a small pool of thoughtful hand-selected options.

      What do I post?

      Any album that you love and that you feel deserves more appreciation. There are no restrictions on genre, year, or anything else, and nothing is “too popular” or “too niche”. If you think it needs more love — for whatever reason — then it’s welcome in AlbumLove.

      Name the artist and the album, and then, most importantly, share what you love about the album. It could be the music itself, but it could also be your associations with it -- maybe the album reminds you of someone you love, or you saw the band live and got a new appreciation for the studio songs.

      Also, commenting on others' recommendations is encouraged! If you love something that someone else shared, let them know!

      Do I have to listen to what everyone else posts?

      Nope. You don't have to listen to anything if you don't want to. This is about creating a menu of options that people can explore as they wish.

      Can I post more than one album in a month?

      Nope. Limit one! This helps us be more selective about what we choose, as well as preventing the threads from getting flooded with too many contributions to keep track of.

      Why albums and not songs/artists?

      I like albums. :)

      Seriously though, I feel like it's a very different thing to like an album as a whole versus a few songs or just an artist's general vibe. I like the idea of quantizing music for appreciation in the same way we might do with books or movies.

      What about EPs?

      Fair game!

      9 votes
    13. My marriage is non-monogamous, and I am considering approaching a friend to propose a relationship with him. I would appreciate some advice from monogamous people (and reasonable people in general.)

      I won't bury the lede - my friend isn't non-monogamous or polyamorous, and that's the crux of the issue. At the least, he has never really considered non-monogamy before. My (31F) marriage is...

      I won't bury the lede - my friend isn't non-monogamous or polyamorous, and that's the crux of the issue. At the least, he has never really considered non-monogamy before.

      My (31F) marriage is uniquely suited for non-monogamy and has been for ten years strong, and my husband (30M) is entirely comfortable with what I'm proposing here. My biggest concern is the risk to my friend’s (30M) feelings and his perspective. So, before I speak to him about it, rather than seeking advice exclusively from people who practice ENM, I am actually curious what everyone might think of the situation. I also think Tildes probably has the only pool of monogamous people on the internet who would be interested in discussing this topic respectfully and approaching it with curiosity or empathy rather than disgust - I know it's a strange topic for most people.

      Essentially, over the past two years I've been spending more and more time with a friend of mine. My husband is a pretty good friend of his, but they are not extremely close or best friends, they know each other through me. My friend doesn't date a lot, and we simply find ourselves drawn to spending a lot of time together, having very long conversations late at night, and doing things like going on a few vacations alone together. We haven't discussed it, but there is an overwhelming sense that we would probably date, had I been single when we met. He's very respectful of me and my marriage, but sometimes we each end up innocently flirting with the other - small compliments about our appearances, comments about how our “love languages” tend to be similar, etc. A few weeks ago he asked me if my husband and I have an open marriage (I don't often share that aspect of my life, my husband and I have been functionally “monogamous” since I've known my friend, and we haven't dated anyone else for quite some time.) I answered by saying that I actually do have an open marriage, yes. His question caught me off guard. I didn't expect him to ever ask because he doesn't seem like the type of person who would be interested in non-monogamy. So, I asked him what he thinks about non-monogamy, and he said he hasn't thought about it much, and has always been monogamous in past relationships. I wanted to think more about what to do next, so at the time I didn't let him know that I was specifically attracted to him.

      Certainly, it may be very wise to accept that my friend is likely just monogamous, as most people tend to be, and simply continue on with our normal platonic friendship as it is. However, recently I'm finding it harder to contain my feelings on the matter, and he doesn't exactly make it any easier on me, because I really think he engages as well. Recently a mutual friend asked me if something was going on between us because she noticed him flirting with me. A couple of friends have agreed that the chemistry seems undeniable, so I don't think this is entirely one-sided.

      At the least, I think I need to be honest with him that I'm attracted to him and open to some kind of romantic/sexual relationship with him. That way, if he says this makes him uncomfortable, I know I have to adjust my expectations and put proper boundaries in place. Of course, my hope is that he might be interested as well, at which point we can discuss what that would look like, but that's a separate topic because first I want to approach this with caution and respect.

      I feel that it's really the sexual element that is up in the air. We already spend a lot of time together, and any purely monogamous person would probably already consider our behavior to be “emotional cheating,” if it happened to their marriage. I don't think most male/female friendships involve endless late night conversations, casual flirting, and prioritizing each other over other friends. To me, adding sex to the relationship seems like a no-brainer since we seem attracted to each other, but obviously most people wouldn't feel the same way.

      Also, imagine the same situation, but with the genders flipped. We've all heard stories of unfortunate women who thought they had a great friendship with a man, only to eventually find out that the guy had been pining after her sexually for some time. My worst fear here is making my friend feel like our relationship was shallow, or that I was just trying to get something from him. But I didn't end up here on purpose, I just found myself here somehow - and I also would be more than happy to remain just friends with him if that's what he wants.

      What would you think if you were a fairly monogamous person, and your close, non-monogamous friend admitted they have feelings for you? Would you be offended or hurt? Do you think there is a tactful way to bring it up? Would you prefer they never tell you, so you can just continue your friendship as normal, or for them to just move on without you if they can't let go of the idea?

      Of course, the only real answer is that I won't know how he feels unless I ask him about it. I just thought I would talk this out with some kind strangers before jumping in. My brain seems quite wired for non-monogamy, and sometimes I struggle to see things from the perspective of monogamous people. Jealousy is not an emotion I have experienced often in relationships. I am flattered when any of my male or female friends admit attraction to me. Some of my friend groups are very queer and/or polyamorous, where behavior like dating your friends or being friends with ex-partners is fairly typical. But this friend is from a part of my life where non-monogamy is not as much of a given. I am also a bit worried about what our monogamous friends would think, as we do spend a lot of time in the same group of friends. I am worried that if he were to meet someone in the future who he wanted a relationship with, the woman wouldn't be comfortable having me around in the group, especially if I am still practicing non-monogamy at the time. I have many worries. Non-monogamy is complex. But mostly, I feel like this could work.

      I know some of you are non-monogamous and I'm definitely interested in your thoughts, but I wanted to specify that I'm open to anyone else's take as well.

      62 votes
    14. Modular storage systems?

      I'm currently working on decluttering, and coming up with processes to stop clutter from building up in the future. Even after getting rid of a bunch of junk, I'll be left with a ton of stuff that...

      I'm currently working on decluttering, and coming up with processes to stop clutter from building up in the future.

      Even after getting rid of a bunch of junk, I'll be left with a ton of stuff that historically has just "floated around" my living space (cables, adapters, small tools, stationary, batteries, etc...).

      I'd ideally want a bunch of appropriately sized containers that I can organize stuff into. I'd love for each box to be some tesselation of a standard volume, so that I can arrange and stack those containers neatly in a drawer or on a desk.


      If you happen to work with 3D printing, this may sound a lot like Gridfinity, a modular open-source grid storage system. And I agree! Gridfinity's goals completely meet and shoot past what I'm looking for. But I currently have no interest in investing the money or time into buying a 3D printer and making prints. And there doesn't appear to be an obvious commercial version outside of "random" folks on Etsy.

      I also considered getting a Drawer Grid like you'd see in a Maker Space. I might end up getting this if I can't find a better option, though I'd prefer a storage solution I can stuff in a drawer.

      I was curious if:

      • Anyone had any product recommendations that might fit the bill
      • Anyone had any thoughts on the organizational endeavor itself, and if there are any ways I could be going about this better.
      18 votes
    15. MangaLove, a series sharing thread: February 2024

      Choose one series that you love that you think deserves more love Tell us what it is, and why. Previous posts in the series Additional Details Why MangaLove? Finding new series is hard! The medium...

      Choose one series
      that you love
      that you think deserves more love

      Tell us what it is, and why.


      Previous posts in the series


      Additional Details

      Why MangaLove?

      Finding new series is hard! The medium continues to become more mainstream and accessible, but that hasn't changed the fact that there's a lot of stuff to consume and few ways to find something you may like.

      MangaLove offers an opportunity to sift through series loved by others, including those who might have divergent tastes from you. Think of this as an opportunity to venture outside of your comfort zone, with a series that you know someone else adores, from a small pool of thoughtful hand-selected options.

      Is this just for Manga? Can I share Anime, or Manhwa, or...

      Feel free to share any Anime, Manga, Manhwa, or Manhua that you love!

      What do I post?

      Any series that you love and that you feel deserves more appreciation. There are no restrictions on genre, year, or anything else, and nothing is “too popular” or “too niche”. If you think it needs more love — for whatever reason — then it’s welcome in MangaLove.

      Please make sure to include:

      • The series name
      • The author
      • A short description of the premise
      • What you love about the series. It could be the story, the art, but it could also be your associations with it -- maybe the series reminds you of someone you love, or the period in your life when you first consume it.

      Also, commenting on others' recommendations is encouraged! If you love something that someone else shared, let them know!

      Do I have to watch/read to what everyone else posts?

      Nope. You don't have to consume anything you don't want to. This is about creating a menu of options that people can explore as they wish.

      Can I post more than one series in a month?

      Nope. Limit one! This helps us be more selective about what we choose, as well as preventing the threads from getting flooded with too many contributions to keep track of.

      16 votes
    16. In search of approachable, readable philosophy (or philosophy-adjacent) books to help me navigate the world

      I've recently found myself reaching for some of my favorite philosophy books as I enter another year of navigating a chaotic, painful world, and navigating my own depression and quest for meaning...

      I've recently found myself reaching for some of my favorite philosophy books as I enter another year of navigating a chaotic, painful world, and navigating my own depression and quest for meaning within it. Exploring philosophy really helps give me the language and mental framework to make sense and meaning out of an existence that often overwhelms me with fear and meaninglessness.

      One big problem, though: a lot of philosophy books absolutely suck to read. They're overlong, impenetrably dense, and often awkwardly translated from another language.

      TL;DR:
      Can anyone recommend approachable, readable philosophy (or philosophy-adjacent) books that can help me navigate the world, find reasons to live, and develop a durable sense of meaning?


      Some more background info: The philosophies that have resonated most with me over the years are the works of Camus, the broader world of existentialists and existentialist-adjacent philosophies, stoicism, and utilitarianism. While I recognize that things like logic, epistemology, and religion are important branches of philosophy I'm more interested in things that help me navigate the daily questions of existence such as meaning, suffering, purpose, and so on.

      The most impactful philosophical ideas I've ever encountered are those of Camus in The Myth of Sisyphus. Camus' conception of the absurd and the challenges of navigating it resonated so deeply with me that it essentially kickstarted my entire interest in philsophy. Before that I had never done any philosophical reading that felt like it really applied to me. Suddenly it felt like Camus had taken what was in my brain and put it on the page. However, I still consider the Myth of Sisyphus not an approachable, readable philosophy book, and not really a good book at all. I found his philosophy impactful despite the fact that it's overly long, often boring, and weighed down by an English translation that may have been good in the 1950s but in the 21st century is extremely stilted and hard to read.

      For that reason my favorite philosophy book is At The Existentialist Cafe by Sarah Bakewell. It's half biography of Sartre, Beauviour, and Heidigger, and half overview of the wide world of existentialist philosophies. It's an smooth, pleasant read written in plain English that both helped me understand more philosophical concepts than any other single book I've ever read and introduced me to tons of things I want to learn more about. I highly recommend it.

      Some other books I've read:

      • The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin is tremendous. I know this isn't technically philosophy, but it definitely feels philosophy adjacent to me since it fit the bill of "help me make sense of the world" and as a bonus is a very smooth read. I plan to re-read this soon.
      • Man's Search of Meaning by Viktor Frankl was a solid 4/5 for me.
      • Being Mortal by Atul Gawande is another philosophy-adjacent book that is a tremendous exploration of how we cope with death. It really impacted how I think about end-of-life issues.
      • Modern Ethics in 77 Arguments is a collection of essays meant to make philsophy and ethics approachable for normal people - hence why I picked it up. I read most of it, but the essays were just too hit and miss so I ended up putting it down about 2/3rds of the way through.
      • The Stranger by Camus. I did not necessarily enjoy this book (and I have no desire to re-read it) but I do appreciate it for being thought-provoking. Plus it was a way smoother read than The Myth of Sisyphus.

      Some I'm considering reading:

      I deeply appreciate breadcrumbs anyone can provide as I try to learn how (and why) to keep living in this world and to develop a sense of meaning within it.

      30 votes
    17. [SOLVED] Debugging a slow connection between local devices in only one direction

      [SOLVED] ... well, this is in many ways very unsatisfying, because I have no idea why this worked, but I seem to have fixed it. Server A has two Ethernet ports, an Intel I219V and a Killer E3100....

      [SOLVED]

      ... well, this is in many ways very unsatisfying, because I have no idea why this worked, but I seem to have fixed it.

      Server A has two Ethernet ports, an Intel I219V and a Killer E3100. Several months ago, when trying to debug sporadic btrfs errors (I had my RAM installed incorrectly!), I had disabled some unused devices in BIOS, including the Killer Ethernet port.

      Since I had no other ideas, and it seemed like this was somehow specific to this server, I just re-enabled the Killer port and switched the Ethernet cable to that port. I'm now getting 300 Mb/s transfers from my wireless devices to my server, exactly as expected.

      I'm gonna like... go for a walk or something. Thank you so much to everyone who helped me rule out all of the very many things this could have been! I love this place, you all are so kind and supportive.

      Original:

      I'm trying to debug a perplexing networking situation, and I could use some guidance if anyone has any.

      Here's my setup:

      • UniFi Security Gateway
      • UniFi Switch Lite
      • Two UAPs
      • Two servers, A and B, connected to the USW-Lite with GbE
      • Many wireless devices, connected to the UAPs

      Here's what I'm experiencing:

      • Network transfers from the wireless devices to server A (as measured by iperf3 tests) are very slow. Consistently between 10 and 20 Mb/s.
      • Network transfers from server A to all devices are expected speeds. 900-1000 Mb/s to server B, 350-ish Mb/s to wireless devices.
      • Network transfers between server B and all devices (in both directions!) are expected speeds.
      • Network transfers from the USG to server A also seem slow, which is odd. Only about 60 MB/s.
      • Network transfers from the USG to server B and the wireless devices is about 300 MB/s

      So, specifically network transfers from any wireless device to server A are slow, and no other connections have any issues that I can see.

      Some potentially relevant details:

      • Server A is running Unraid
      • Server B is running Ubuntu
      • Wireless devices include a Fedora laptop, an iPhone, and a Macbook Pro
      • UniFi configuration is pretty straightforward. I have a few ports forwarded, a guest WiFi network (that none of these devices are on), a single default VLAN, and two simple "Allow LAN" firewall rules for Wireguard on the USG. No other firewall or routing config that I'm aware of.

      If anyone has any thoughts at all on how to continue debugging, I would be immensely grateful! I suppose the next step would be to try to determine whether it's the networking equipment or the server itself that is responsible for the throttling, but I'm not sure how best to do that.

      15 votes
    18. “Both-sides” and when is nuance acceptable discourse?

      I feel like some sort of alien asking this question but there is this negative connotation I keep seeing towards acknowledging “both sides” of an argument. Now, I know that things that have...

      I feel like some sort of alien asking this question but there is this negative connotation I keep seeing towards acknowledging “both sides” of an argument. Now, I know that things that have racism, sexism, and violence on one side and do not have such abhorrent views on the other clearly have a “good” side, but I also get the sneaking suspicion that calling something “both-sidesy” in a context where there are not such clear boundaries is a potential manipulation tactic to dismiss nuanced arguments. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Is my dividing line correct or are there other things to consider?

      39 votes
    19. Broke my dominant arm, will be out of work for a few months. Any advice or tips to adapt to this period of one-armed life?

      I've got time now to browse tildes again, until I broke my arm last week, been busy with life otherwise. It's a nice thought to get time off work, but not a nice thought when most my hobbies...

      I've got time now to browse tildes again, until I broke my arm last week, been busy with life otherwise.
      It's a nice thought to get time off work, but not a nice thought when most my hobbies involve my hands.
      Of course appreciate the support by my partner, family and friends. Very thankful I have them.
      But with my independence floundering, I hate spending my days either sleeping or eating or mindlessly scrolling though social media.

      Looking to hear stories of broken limbs and how you've coped and adapted, and advice on physically navigating with one arm. Carrying a cup of tea and then needing to open a door, how to open a jar with one hand, cooking (or not cooking) and all else

      30 votes
    20. Final update on Brianna Ghey

      Was debating whether or not to post this at all on account of this discussion about "the latest horrid thing" in relation to LGBT+ people. But I decided to post anyway as I think this update is...

      Was debating whether or not to post this at all on account of this discussion about "the latest horrid thing" in relation to LGBT+ people. But I decided to post anyway as I think this update is important - and I have made sure to use the tags suggested in that thread. And I cannot emphasize enough that this is about an extremely disturbing hate crime so only click if you can deal with that:

      CONTENT WARNING
      • AP News: 16-year-old killers of transgender teenager in England sentenced for ‘sadistic’ murder

      The two 16-year-old convicted murderers of a transgender teenager in northwest England nearly a year ago were handed life sentences Friday with minimum prison terms of 20 and 22 years.

      The horrific murder shocked the nation. Ghey was stabbed with a hunting knife 28 times in her head, neck, chest and back in broad daylight after being lured to a park in the town of Warrington on Feb. 11, 2023.

      “You will only be released, if in the future, it is decided you no longer present a danger,” the judge said. “You both took part in a brutal and planned murder, which was sadistic in nature, and a secondary motivation was hostility to Brianna, because of her transgender identity.”

      • Pink News: Brianna Ghey’s teen killers named as pair sentenced for trans girl’s murder

      As he read his victim impact statement at Manchester Crown Court, Brianna’s father Peter Spooner described Jenkinson and Ratcliffe as “pure evil.”

      “Now my world has been torn apart. Justice may have been done but no amount of time in prison will be enough for these monsters,” he said.

      “I cannot call them children because that makes them sound naive or vulnerable, which they are not – they are pure evil. Brianna was the vulnerable one.”

      • BBC: Brianna Ghey: 'My daughter was fearless to be who she wanted to be' (Dec. 20)

      The heartbroken mother of Brianna Ghey has said she will never get over the death of her "fearless" daughter, which has left a hole in her heart.

      Speaking before the verdicts, Esther Ghey said she would never forget her daughter's unwavering bravery.

      "She was fearless to be whoever she wanted to be," she told the BBC.

      "She wanted to identify as a female, and she wanted to wear girls' school uniform.

      "She just did it - it wasn't a hurdle at all for her."

      • The Guardian: ‘Truly sorry’: family of Brianna Ghey murderer pay tribute to mother

      In a statement to the Warrington Guardian, Jenkinson’s family said: “All of our thoughts are for Brianna and her family.

      “The last 12 months have been beyond our worst nightmares as we have come to realise the brutal truth of Scarlett’s actions. We agree with the jury’s verdict, the judge’s sentence and the decision to name the culprits.”

      After the killers were convicted, Brianna’s mother, Esther Ghey, called for “empathy and compassion” for their families as “they too have lost a child” and “must live the rest of their lives knowing what their child has done”.

      Jenkinson’s family, saying their lives had been left “in turmoil”, thanked Brianna’s mother for her “incredible selflessness and empathy towards our family”.

      “Her compassion is overwhelming and we are forever grateful,” they said. “To all of Brianna’s family and friends, our community and everyone else that has been affected by this horror, we are truly sorry.”

      20 votes
    21. New Music Fridays: The Last Dinner Party, Kirin J Calinan, Burial and more

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your...

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your eye and interest, or share your thoughts about any new music that you've had the chance to listen to this week.

      Discussion Points

      Is there anything you've been looking forward to listening to?
      Any releases that have surprised you?
      Have you listened to any new music recently? What are your thoughts?
      What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past? How does their latest work compare?

      ~~ Feedback on the format welcome

      5 votes
    22. Movie of the Week #14 - The Iron Giant

      Final movie for January is Brad Bird's animated The Iron Giant from 1999. IMDb Letterboxd Wikipedia Feel free to add any thoughts, opinions, reflections, analysis or whatever comments related to...

      Final movie for January is Brad Bird's animated The Iron Giant from 1999.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Feel free to add any thoughts, opinions, reflections, analysis or whatever comments related to this film.


      The schedule for February is:

      • 5th: Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse
      • 12th: The Aviator
      • 19th: Batman Begins
      • 26th: Gangs of New York
      21 votes
    23. Layoffs, survivor guilt, and existential dread

      The company I work for laid off half of my office this week. I'm one of the survivors, and trying to process what happened. The company has been transparent about revenues. However, we had no idea...

      The company I work for laid off half of my office this week. I'm one of the survivors, and trying to process what happened.

      The company has been transparent about revenues. However, we had no idea that we would be so badly penalized for management choices that created significant operating cost overruns in the face of a projected short-term demand decline. I've lost half the members of my immediate team, good friends, people whose work and thoughtfulness I deeply respected. The entire department structure is being upended. The harshness of the selection for people who were being laid off included a teammate who's in the hospital, parents of young children, people on the edge of retirement. I'm suspicious and extra hostile towards the company - it's very significant to me that all the people of color and people who've had recent medical leave are among the lost.

      It's not the first time I've watched and survived a company's poor management and bad choices, but this is by far the worst. I've worked very hard at staying professional with the customers this week. I'm still inwardly seething with rage. I'm trying to figure out how to be supportive to the people who are leaving. I'm trying to figure out how to help a team lead who's in his first management job, and is totally devastated and nearly frozen with helplessness. I'm decent at my job, but don't know why I was kept and others with equal or greater skills were let go. I don't feel good about what qualities I might have had that corporate desired to keep - dutifulness, compliance, amiability, reticence?

      At the same time, I'm looking at months of double workload even though corporate management claims they'll outsource part of the duties (so that's another symptom that I'm replaceable) and manage the task pipeline. There's a frankly insulting retention bonus if I stay for another year. We've gotten the usual anodyne HR garbage about the employee assistance program and coping skills. The corporate management's left us with the ominous "stay tuned for further announcements over the coming weeks".

      I don't have a lot of choices here. I'm trying hard to stay focused on the present, without looking over the cliff of dread at the future. At the moment, I'm the sole support for our household and source of health insurance. My spouse is badly burnt out, and I don't want him to look for work a minute before he's healthy and enthusiastic about a job. I'm a late-50's end-career professional who wouldn't normally have much interest in restarting yet again elsewhere. I very deliberately chose this company, job and location, liked the work I was doing, the people I was doing it with, and I was looking forward to building on it. There's still the possibility that our half-vacant remote office will be closed and consolidated with the corporate headquarters. I have less than zero interest in relocating, and plan to keep separated coworkers who live here as personal friends.

      I'll be grateful to hear any advice on coping with this situation, and hope the replies will be helpful to others in future.

      47 votes
    24. Tildes Book Club - Should we allow nomination of trilogies? Should we have a length limit?

      I made my first mistake coordinating this project. Gormenghast was nominated, but it's the second book in a trilogy so I excluded it. Turns out, @azaadi meant to nominate the whole trilogy. It...

      I made my first mistake coordinating this project. Gormenghast was nominated, but it's the second book in a trilogy so I excluded it. Turns out, @azaadi meant to nominate the whole trilogy. It hadn't occurred to me.

      So what are your thoughts? I haven't known book clubs to include trilogies, but my experience is limited.

      Please vote below and feel free to comment.

      11 votes
    25. Microsoft Teams is/was down. What's your fallback?

      Teams is down or was down for pretty much everyone I know (work context). Thinking in terms of business continuity, what is your fallback plan. Is your fallback a managed, enterprise class...

      Teams is down or was down for pretty much everyone I know (work context).

      Thinking in terms of business continuity, what is your fallback plan. Is your fallback a managed, enterprise class service?

      Might get everyone internally to install Signal since it's end-to-end encrypted, has a desktop client and can handle file transfers. That's just off the cuff.

      Thoughts?

      21 votes
    26. Show Tildes - Gametje

      Gametje Hi all been working on this project for a while in my spare time. I wanted to share it with this community to see what you all thought. What is it? It is a set of online games (currently...

      Gametje

      Hi all been working on this project for a while in my spare time. I wanted to share it with this community to see what you all thought.

      What is it?

      It is a set of online games (currently only 2) which can be played in person with a central screen (like a TV) or remotely via video chat with screen sharing. Essentially there is a host screen and then each player has their own player screen (laptop or phone etc). It is playable in 8 languages at the moment (feel free to request any others!) It also has an integrated ChatGPT player which can be turned on/off in game settings if you prefer to play without it. There are some game mechanics to identify a ChatGPT answer which can yield some funny reactions if you choose a human's answer! It has Chromecast support and works well on Amazon Fire sticks. Visually, it is still a little rough around the edges as frontend design isn't my forte but the core concept is there. I have been play testing it with friends but have not shared it publicly yet.

      Why is it called Gametje?

      I have been living in the Netherlands for some years and my original motivation for starting this project was to create a game that supported languages other than English. I wanted to incorporate something Dutch into the name. tje is one of the diminutive endings in Dutch. It is usually meant to soften a word or make it "smaller". So Gametje -> a little game.

      Where can I try it?

      https://gametje.com/

      You can either create an account (user/pass with email confirm) or try it out as a guest (navigate to either game, then choose continue as guest). Currently it is free to host a game. Happy to hear any feedback (both good and bad). Hopefully the host provider I am using to run the game will hold up.

      Thanks!

      17 votes
    27. New Music Fridays: The Smile, Phillip Glass, Squid and more

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your...

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your eye and interest, or share your thoughts about any new music that you've had the chance to listen to this week.

      Discussion Points

      Is there anything you've been looking forward to listening to?
      Any releases that have surprised you?
      Have you listened to any new music recently? What are your thoughts?
      What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past? How does their latest work compare?

      ~~ Feedback on the format welcome

      11 votes
    28. What should be included in a beginner toolkit for a teenage child doing small builder projects?

      I have a teenage child. They're going to be doing "design and tech" at school, and they've shown an interest in light maker / builder projects. I want to put together a small toolkit for them. The...

      I have a teenage child. They're going to be doing "design and tech" at school, and they've shown an interest in light maker / builder projects.

      I want to put together a small toolkit for them.

      The difficulty I'm having is that when I look at precision screwdrivers I pick a Felco set for £80. For regular screwdrivers I pick either Felco, Wira, Wiha, or Sandvick Bahco. This is probably a bad idea - they're going to end up with a lot of very expensive kit that they will not appreciate yet.

      The other thing I'm struggling with is knowing which bits of kit are essential and which are nice to have.

      I'd be really grateful to hear your thoughts about this kit. I'm especially interested to hear discussion about balancing "good enough" with "avoid garbage" -- I do prefer to spend more on quality rather than buying cheap buying often.

      Screwdrivers:

      A handle and a set of bits to fit the handle - £10
      A set of weird bits (security, hex, torx) to fit the handle £5
      Screwdrivers - pz1, pz2, 4 flat head screw drivers in sensible sizes (still working this out) (probably stanley FatMax) - £30

      Snips - they're getting my Bahco snips and my ancient lindstrom snips. I want to get them something they can destroy through misuse, so I'll buy something for around £15

      Pliers - needlenose serrated pliers £10
      Pliers - big pliers - they'll be getting my ancient RS pliers.

      Wire strippers - I like the scissor type that have a range of holes. A nice pair is about £20.

      Wrenches and spanners - I have three adjustable spanners in different sizes. I'm looking at micro-ratchets, so something like Kerr or felo (xs33) (but the felo is expensive!!) or Bahco 2058/S26 for £20

      Soldering iron - I'm super tempted to just get Hakko's intro model for £100-£150. But I don't know whether I should go instead for some cheap thing like tenma. My own preference for me is strongly Weller - I used weller irons for decades and they were so solid and robust for what I was doing, but not a great choice for tinkering about. I'm struggling to understand the build quality of Tenma bought from a reputable company. I don't want my child fixing things in a mains powered box.

      I need a tool box to put it all in.

      I need some kind of cutting and filing tools - cheap set of files and a little handle.

      I need some measuring equipment - I don't know whether to include a nice set of steel rules or a cheap digital calliper.

      Alongside all this there will be a dremel multitool and some useful accessories for it.

      And also safety equipment - dustmasks, eye protection (from a reputable supplier!!)

      22 votes
    29. I can't get my head around US President Joe Biden polling poorly and Donald Trump polling well

      I can't get my head around President Biden polling poorly and Trump polling well. I don't think I need to provide details for people on this site, but Trump was so horrible as a president and...

      I can't get my head around President Biden polling poorly and Trump polling well.

      I don't think I need to provide details for people on this site, but Trump was so horrible as a president and President Biden has done such a good job. Even if Biden was a passive placeholder four years of him would have been better than 4 more years of Trump.

      I don't understand where the low polls are coming from. Particularly for groups that would not do particularly well under a Trump regime like African Americans and youth.

      I see some people complaining about President Biden's age, but his administration has been doing a good job and Trump is only about 4 years younger ( and in much worse shape ).

      I don't get where the hate is coming from.

      I remember the "red wave" that never happened and articles explaining why polls aren't as accurate as they used to be. However, that answer feels too easy to me, a cop out.

      Maybe people are angry about greedflation. However, Trump's presidency when it wasn't about vindictiveness was all about neglect. I can't believe people think Trump would be better for the economy -- that he would even try beyond the stock market so he polls well.

      *Disclaimer:

      My apologies if this is the wrong place for this conversation. I thought here or "talk" would be the best choices, though people in "talk" might not want political conversations.

      94 votes
    30. Single-player games to play with my partner

      My wife and I have just finished playing Chants of Sennaar together. I know it's a single-player game, but working on the puzzles together is very satisfying, and the controls are simple enough...

      My wife and I have just finished playing Chants of Sennaar together. I know it's a single-player game, but working on the puzzles together is very satisfying, and the controls are simple enough (i.e. point and click) that it doesn't feel like the person controlling the game is "playing" the game, and we can discuss what's going on at our own pace.

      Does anyone have any suggestions for other, similar games with (a) relatively simple interactions that let us play the game together, and (b) an interesting, engaging, and beautiful story?

      I've seen a lot of recommendations for Obra Dinn as a similar game around gaining and then applying knowledge in order to solve the puzzles of the game. I confess the style isn't quite as appealing, but maybe we should give that a go next. Alternatively, Heaven's Gate looks like it's more explicitly a similar game about translation, but doesn't look like it'll be as easy to play together. I also thought about more old-school point-and-click games, but from everything I remember about those, they were less about figuring out puzzles with logic, and more about trying all the items in your inventory until something works...

      54 votes
    31. Movie of the Week #13 - Marcel The Shell With Shoes On

      Fourth movie with a running time of 100 minutes or less is Marcel The Shell With Shoes On (90 minutes) from 2021 IMDb Letterboxd Wikipedia Feel free to add any thoughts, opinions, reflections,...

      Fourth movie with a running time of 100 minutes or less is Marcel The Shell With Shoes On (90 minutes) from 2021

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Feel free to add any thoughts, opinions, reflections, analysis or whatever comments related to this film.


      The final movie for January is next Monday on the 29th with The Iron Giant

      14 votes
    32. People with a "second brain": Why? How?

      I've been looking around at different note-taking apps (Notion, Obsidian, Anytype, Joplin, Logseq, etc.) after seeing a few videos about the idea of having a "second brain", and only how has the...

      I've been looking around at different note-taking apps (Notion, Obsidian, Anytype, Joplin, Logseq, etc.) after seeing a few videos about the idea of having a "second brain", and only how has the the thought popped into my mind, "What's the point?". A “second brain” seems like it would require spending too much processing power on something that only exists to exist. What are the chances there you're going to remember any given thing after writing it down? You haven’t filled up your first brain yet. This all sounds very pessimistic - my intention is not to insult anyone's choice to use these tools, but I'm curious of what benefits people have gotten from their "second brains". Maybe I'm just the wrong kind of person for it, or maybe it's just that I'm not used to writing things down.

      Edit: I'm coming to an interesting conclusion that many people use their version of a second brain for things they need to do. This isn't really what I was referring to, I was more looking at it as a form of journaling or personal research, which might be less common?

      33 votes
    33. Tildes Book Club - Book nomination and discussion thread

      Edit nominations are closed I asked @Cffabro about doing another book discussion as with Roadside Picnic. He suggested that I pick it up instead. So hi. Are there readers here who would like to...

      Edit nominations are closed

      I asked @Cffabro about doing another book discussion as with Roadside Picnic. He suggested that I pick it up instead. So hi. Are there readers here who would like to join me on a book discussion journey?

      If yes, please name between one and five books you find intriguing and think others might enjoy. We will later have a voting thread so that each nomination gets an equal shot to win votes with no early nomination advantage.

      Also, let's talk frequency. I think monthly, every six weeks or every two months all sound like reasonable intervals for busy people to read and discuss a book. What are your thoughts?

      Lastly do you have things to mention that you thought worked well in the past or should be avoided?

      I hope this gets some traction. I'm looking forward to it.

      28 votes
    34. The lame racehorse

      There is a horse race. The horses are running as fast as they can around the track. Around and around and around. This is what they're “meant” to do. Suddenly, a horse trips and crashes to the...

      There is a horse race. The horses are running as fast as they can around the track. Around and around and around. This is what they're “meant” to do. Suddenly, a horse trips and crashes to the ground. It breaks its leg. It tries to get up. It tries to limp around the track, but it cannot. Try as it might, it can no longer run around and around and around. It is done. The horse is dragged off the track, a white curtain is pulled up around the horse, and a gunshot is heard. The race continues. That is how it goes. Around and around and around.

      I've had this recurring thought of the lame racehorse for a few years now. Once I realized I needed to make a living, I set off out of the gates at high speed to become a software engineer. I frantically caught up in math, something I always struggled with in grade school, I took transfer classes at a community college and got 4.0s across the board, I applied to a local university, I got admitted, I stressed and had mental breakdowns and did all my assignments, I graduated Magna Cum Laude, what an honor. I worked so hard, running around and around and around. I actually got my first software engineering position while I was still in university, I worked there part-time for my last year of university, and once I graduated I went full-time. And here I've been running for five years around and around and around. I don't think I can run anymore.

      I feel like trips and crashes have been happening over the years, at least I feel like they happen when I suddenly think of the racehorse. And I feel like they get worse and worse. Every time though, eventually I forget about the racehorse, but now I think the racehorse is really lame. And I feel like I am limping along the track not yet being noticed by the referees for some reason, around and around and around.

      What keeps me running, and now limping, around and around and around is fear and anxiety. I don't want to think about entering the job market. I don't want to lose my health insurance. I don't want to become financially dependent on my partner. I don't want to feel like a failure. I have watched my brilliant colleagues from university very recently get laid off from their software engineering positions at various companies. And yet somehow I'm still limping around and around and around. I don't even know if I'm limping anymore, I think I'm stuck on the ground just moving my limbs around and around and around. And I'm honestly surprised nobody has noticed yet.

      I understand some might suggest burnout. And maybe that is the case, but I've tried to take vacations, I've tried to focus on my own hobbies, and I know this post sounds pretty depressing, but outside of work, I am not depressed. The thing about burnout is that I think you have to actually catch fire before you burnout. Maybe for me it was a slow burn, not a sudden moment of catching on fire. Or maybe I did catch fire at some point, so long ago that I don't remember working so hard, although I probably could be reminded of it by my partner and friends, but I feel like I have never recovered from it. I feel like lifeless ashes from a burnout. I don't feel like I have ever rejuvenated, my ashes did not become soil from which new life can grow.

      I have a performance review soon. This year has been the worst performance I've ever had so far. I'm in this weird feeling zone of simultaneously no longer having the energy to care anymore, while also harboring fear and anxiety because I don't want to have the uncertainty of being unemployed. But it generally comes out that "not caring" currently "wins" over the anxiety by a large margin. My work output has been seriously pathetic for at least the past month. Like completely slacking off almost. And I do feel guilty about it, just if anyone is wondering.

      I feel like I'm waiting for them to pull up the white curtain and to hear the ringing of a gunshot.

      I don't know why I wanted to write this, I guess I am just wanting to connect. I wonder if anyone else has felt such feelings that freeze you and make you feel like you're watching a trainwreck in slow motion that is your own life. And I wonder if anyone else has ever felt like a lame racehorse. I know there are a decent amount of software engineers here.

      Thanks for reading.

      43 votes
    35. How do/did you survive post-war social disarray and unreliable/non-existent supply chains?

      This started as a post on asking about how long you think you could survive a massive supply chain disruption and associated collapse of authorities ability to intervene. But the more I thought...

      This started as a post on asking about how long you think you could survive a massive supply chain disruption and associated collapse of authorities ability to intervene.

      But the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to paint a picture of a postwar context. Post-Yugoslavian War, post-Korean War, etc. Also, I don’t know if we’ve had any recent memories of sudden, total plunges into anarchy.

      I wonder if the modern economy has lengthened the farm-to-table too much that no one could reasonably expect to sustain themselves for any longer than they have food in storage.

      What strategies would you use/did you use to survive? Did society break down into roving gangs? If such a thing happened now, do you feel like you could weather the storm?

      You can thank my being snowed in the last few days and watching World War Z, The Last of Us, Book of Elijah, Elysium, the Alone TV series and the Band of Brothers for inspiring this post.

      19 votes
    36. Why AI writing is inherently coercive

      Writing, at its core, is a shared experience between the author and the reader—an exchange of thoughts, emotions, and ideas. This connection, built on trust and authenticity, is the bedrock of any...

      Writing, at its core, is a shared experience between the author and the reader—an exchange of thoughts, emotions, and ideas. This connection, built on trust and authenticity, is the bedrock of any meaningful relationship, even one as seemingly one-sided as the parasocial relationship between an author and their audience.

      When AI is introduced into the realm of writing, it disrupts this delicate balance of trust. Readers inherently believe that they are engaging with the genuine thoughts and expressions of a fellow human being. However, the introduction of AI blurs this line, creating a scenario where the words on the page may not be the product of human experience or creativity.

      Imagine delving into a piece of writing, believing you are connecting with the unique perspectives and emotions of another person, only to discover that those words were crafted by a machine. The sense of betrayal and disillusionment that may follow disrupts the very essence of the reader's trust in the author. It's akin to thinking you are having a heart-to-heart conversation with a friend, only to later realize it was an automated response.

      This violation of trust erodes the foundation of the parasocial relationship, leaving readers questioning the authenticity of the connection. Human communication is a dance of shared experiences and emotions, and AI, no matter how advanced, lacks the depth of personal understanding that defines true human interaction.

      In essence, while AI may expedite the writing process and provide creative insights, it does so at the cost of jeopardizing the sacred trust between the writer and the reader. As we navigate this digital era, let us not forget the importance of preserving the authenticity that underlies our human connections through the written word.

      Generated by ChatGPT.

      21 votes
    37. Game suggestions for a weekly online group

      My weekly D&D group has been running for a number of years now and unfortunately our current DM is suffering from some pretty severe burnout at the moment (both in life and D&D in general). I...

      My weekly D&D group has been running for a number of years now and unfortunately our current DM is suffering from some pretty severe burnout at the moment (both in life and D&D in general). I think ultimately we're going to end up shuttering our D&D campaign, and may well never pick the game up again as we've almost all soured on WotC/Hasbro after the OGL debacle.

      This week we entertained ourselves by messing around with image generation (velociraptor nun was a favorite result and became a bit of a running theme through the evening) but the fun in that can only last so long. We've also had some nights playing games like Dead by Daylight and Midnight Ghost Haunt but those are typically games we reserve for around Halloween. We also play some of the Jackbox Party Pack games, but they're only moderately fun to be honest.

      We're usually a group of 7, and this particular formation of the friend group has been meeting almost exclusively online and will probably want to continue that way for the foreseeable future. I'd like some suggestions for games we could play together (either video game or TTRPG that works well online) that are: mostly cooperative or at least team based (we're not very competitive), something that won't become repetitive and dry after a couple of sessions (goal-oriented I guess), and something that we don't have to pay a subscription for. The ability to drop in or out as life dictates would be a plus too. Any thoughts?

      21 votes
    38. My computer has lost its mind and I can't even begin to diagnose what's at fault. (It's the power supply.)

      UPDATE: It was the power supply. I've never even heard of such a weirdly anal issue, but after installing a new one, everything is a-okay. So, I've never really had issues with power supplies, and...

      UPDATE: It was the power supply. I've never even heard of such a weirdly anal issue, but after installing a new one, everything is a-okay.

      So, I've never really had issues with power supplies, and generally have always troubleshot (troubleshooted? trouble...shot?) my own issues with no real, well, issues. Until now.

      The other day, I got a helluva deal on a 6800 XT on Facebook Marketplace, the guy had the printout with the receipt, it's still under warranty for two years, whole shebang. So I upgraded from a Vega 56 to it. And there were zero issues. Admittedly, my power supply is only 650 watts, so I thought I might be missing some wiggle room there, and was prepared to need to upgrade. But the other night, it was fine. I stress-tested with a nearly-maxed-out 100+ FPS Cyberpunk 2077 and had zero issues, and followed that up with moderate use 144 FPS board games and things for the next few hours with a friend.

      And sometime after I went to bed (I left the computer on because I'm a bad man who doesn't take care of his things or some other vaguely acceptable excuse), Windows Update occurred. Again. It's been raising hell on me in the middle of the night any time I leave my computer on, but whatever. So in the morning (this was Sunday), I saw it wasn't working right, and just kind of... shitting itself. Had trouble getting out of BIOS, all this other stuff. Eventually, I realized it was ignoring my SSD, and after unplugging everything else and forcing it to boot from my SSD with the Windows 10 install on it, it said the install was borked and asked me to do recovery steps. None of them really worked. So at this point, I was assuming that I might have hit something with the SSD and damaged the SATA controller when moving the power for the GPU or something.

      So today, I got a new NVMe drive, booted from a 16gb flash drive, installed Windows 11 on it, and everything was fine. I was able to create a functional Windows 11 install, and it was fine. Until I got to the login screen. As soon as the screen asking for my PIN (on a complete, 100% valid Windows install) would load, that first frame, it would shut down hard. No BSOD, nothing. Just immediate shutdown. So I thought, "well, this seems like an issue for the POWER SUPPLY!" and removed the GPU, plugging my main monitor directly into the motherboard. Now, it was shutting down and power cycling before it even hit the BIOS, which is... weird as hell? So I thought "well, it gets further when a video card is in, let's put ye olden Vega 56 in and see how far that gets me!" and... it just works. I'm typing this from my fresh Windows 11 install with zero perceivable issues.

      So my question is: How is it that my computer was perfectly fine on Saturday night with my new video card under 100% load, but by the next day would decide seemingly at random based on some sort of schrodinger's cat theory when it would shut down and when it wouldn't.

      So, in summation, the four inconsistent scenarios, in tl;dr form:

      • New RX 6800 XT is installed, computer runs fine at 100% load while stress testing and then for hours afterward
      • 6800 XT installed, Windows won't boot and the power supply seemingly gives up
      • No video card installed, the computer starts power cycling before even reaching the BIOS
      • My old Vega 56 installed, everything is perfectly fine

      So, obviously there's something weird going on with my power supply, but if someone can set my sights on exactly why all of this has happened, and what the proper solution to make sure it doesn't again, or just... I don't know, typing this all out has made the last day and a half of my life feel much more worth it.

      And as an aside, my theory for why Windows was broken and I assumed my SSD was dying is as such: When it did the Windows Update and started trying to install it was the first time it powered down with no warning, which just broke Windows mid-update in a bad way.

      22 votes
    39. Advice for returning to a frozen car at long term airport parking

      I'm returning home from a trip and am on my 4th layover in a nightmarish series of delayed flights and last minute changes; when I get home it will be 5 degrees (F) which was not the forecasted...

      I'm returning home from a trip and am on my 4th layover in a nightmarish series of delayed flights and last minute changes; when I get home it will be 5 degrees (F) which was not the forecasted temp when I left, so I did not make any kind of preparations and left my car in uncovered long term parking, a 5-ish minute walk from the airport. It dipped into negative temps while I was gone and I'm terrified that I'll get back to a car with frozen locks and no lighter, lock de-freezer, hair dryer, etc, anything to help me get in. I've searched for advice but everything I've read seems to assume you're at home, not at a airport. I'm already so drained and exhausted and it will be late when I get there so I'm just trying to find something, anything that might be helpful in advance before I'm stuck standing outside in unexpectedly, dangerously frigid weather with no plan in jeans, sneakers, and a hoodie. Apologies if something like this has been posted, I couldn't find anything and feel like I'm about to collapse. Any advice is appreciated, even obvious things, I'm sure I may have overlooked something that would be clear to someone else. Posting this before I board my next flight in the hopes there may be some replies by the time I get home. Thank you for reading

      Update: made it back, took an Uber home and will pick up my car either tomorrow or the day after during the day. I should have thought of it myself and feel silly that I didn't. Thank you all so much for the feedback, really saved me some stress, I probably shouldn't have driven home even had it not been so cold out with how tired I was. Will definitely use all the advice here to be more prepared when leaving during the winter in the future, no matter the forecast.

      36 votes
    40. Movie of the Week #12 - City Lights

      We got our first silent movie (almost) with Charlie Chaplin's City Lights from 1931. IMDb Letterboxd Wikipedia How familiar are you with silent films and Charlie Chaplin? Is a movie that is more...

      We got our first silent movie (almost) with Charlie Chaplin's City Lights from 1931.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      How familiar are you with silent films and Charlie Chaplin? Is a movie that is more than 90 years old still worth watching today? Feel free to add any thoughts, opinions, reflections, analysis or whatever comments related to this film.


      Rest of the schedule for January is:

      • 22nd: Marcel The Shell With Shoes On
      • 29th: The Iron Giant
      6 votes
    41. Just finished my first twitch stream in a while. It wasn't great, but for once, that's actually okay.

      My head was all over the place, I played really badly, I lost the run I was playing much quicker than expected, and decided to end stream early because of it... but despite all that, I'm weirdly...

      My head was all over the place, I played really badly, I lost the run I was playing much quicker than expected, and decided to end stream early because of it... but despite all that, I'm weirdly happy about the whole thing anyway.

      One of my big goals for 2024 is to stream a lot more often. For context, I've been off work on medical leave for a good long while now, and I find streaming to be (very fun but also) draining in a similar way to how work was draining - like in how "on" you have to be, and how much multitasking you have to do, that sort of thing. And so the main reason I streamed so rarely last year is that I rarely felt "on" enough to be at 100% for all that, and I worried that I wouldn't be doing a good enough job.

      Today was the 1 year anniversary of when I first started playing the game I'm obsessed with these days, so I really wanted to do a special "anniversary" stream today, which for obvious reasons couldn't really be rescheduled. My brain did feel kind of fuzzy going in, and if it were any other day, I definitely wouldn't have decided to stream at all... but I'd been hyping up this idea to myself for a while, and knew I'd regret it if I bailed at the last minute, so I pushed myself to go live anyway.

      And yeah, like I started this off by saying, the stream definitely wasn't perfect. I didn't play super well, made a bunch of boneheaded decisions, caught myself mentally drifting off every so often and not either playing the game or talking to chat or just being an engaging streamer at all. I lost a run that I for sure could have gotten further with if I played a bit smarter.

      BUT!

      I did it. I did the thing, and I still had fun, and my friends who tuned in as viewers seemed to have fun too. At the end of the day, that should really be all that matters.

      I could very easily take today as a bad omen for the year to come... as in like, I'm gonna be mushy brained and keep doing embarrassing mediocre streams, because that's clearly all I'm capable of, blah blah blah. Past-me definitely would have latched onto that train of thought, hard. But right now, mostly what I'm feeling is just... proud. Proud of myself for not letting perfect be the enemy of good today for once, for actually putting myself out there, for not putting so much stock in "I have to be good at the games I play" as like part of my identity or anything (which I used to have a ton of bugaboos about, as a woman who used to play in a lot of sexist male-dominated spaces... it was kind of like, I have to be great at this game, or I'm just encouraging their sexism so much more and letting all other women down because of it, therefore I can't ever afford to be bad at games and especially not when someone else might see). I can finally feel myself starting to let go of a lot of those old toxic ideas, and while I know I still have a ways left to go with it, it already feels incredibly liberating.

      Throughout my struggles with chronic illness these past few years, I've been trying my best for some time now to accept myself for where I'm at, instead of berating myself for not yet getting back to where I want to be. Moments like these are really nice reminders that that isn't nearly as hard as it used to be. :)

      So, yeah. Thanks for reading. Here's hoping this story resonates with at least a few of you -- and here's to (hopefully) many more mediocre non-ideal streams to come this year, and maybe a few half-decent ones too if I'm lucky 😅

      32 votes