As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

This weekend, my spouse and I were hit by a car that missed a stop sign and crashed into our car head-on. It was the most terrifying moment of my life, and both of us thought it'd be our last. We ended up ok, but it definitely shook us. I feel immense gratitude to be alive and breathing right now.

What near death experience have you had, and how has it impacted your life afterwards, if at all?

For me it was when I went with my family on vacation to Knotts Berry Farm. My parents gave my brother and I each a set amount of money (I think $10). We went in a store in the park and I bought the first thing that grabbed my attention, a change purse that said Knotts Berry Farm. Mind you, I'm a 5 year old boy that has no use for a change purse. No idea why I did it, impulse I suppose.

My brother took his time and searched the entire store carefully. After looking for a while he found in the back corner they had a toy section. They had GoBots for sale. He got a GoBot. I still had my change purse.

I asked my parents if I could return my change purse and get a GoBot and they said nope. They explained that I made my choice and in the future I should make more thoughtful choices. I'm now in my 40's and my wife and kids regularly reference the change purse story as I'm very careful in researching anything I purchase to avoid another change purse incident. My wife has searched for years to find that stupid Knott's change purse as a memento of our beloved family story.

Love to hear other people's life lessons

Imagine you suddenly become an important figure on an international level. You invented a new kind of funky pop. A funky pop like no one's ever seen before. One that will change the marketplace and the course of humanity.

Theres probably some important internal politics behind the upper class of the funko pop game right?

So what's your plan if your wildest dream came true and you're suddenly the talk of the town?

I am planning on going into the peace corps after I finish up my degree. My first priority is an education position, but if I can't get that, I'm open to other options. I would love to hear about the experiences anyone had while in the program.

It has been 1,071 days since Tildes had a user introduction post. This one here in fact.

After seeing a few new usernames around the corridors since the Reddit API announcement, and seeing Tildes mentioned on Reddit a couple of days ago, I thought it might be kinda fun to do another.

• Brand new users, feel free to spill the beans on a few fun facts about yourself.

• Perhaps you're an old school Tildee returning after a long sabbatical... Fill us in on what's new in your world.

• Those of you who missed out on a little light 'getting to know you' by signing up in the previous 1,070 days, drop a word or two.

• And that leaves the old guard. You know who you are! You aren't excluded from this social gathering today. Perhaps a bio on what you love to post here.

I'm not expecting the 266 comments we saw with the very first 'Introductions', but a number between 1 and 266 is fine. 😊

I just got home after a long, extraordinarily stressful, and sensory overload inducing appointment at a government office that I had to do to get some paperwork dealt with. Partway through it, I realized that some sort of stim/fidget toy would probably help stave off some of the worst of it, if I had something small I could keep in my purse. (Ideally something that wouldn't be too awkward to use in public... though I'm not concerned about looking a little awkward, that ship sailed long ago, haha.) Wondering if anyone here has some good recommendations on stim toys suitable for adults that I could bring with me next time, and/or any suggestions for unobtrusive ways to stim that I could do just on my own without needing anything special. I only found out I was autistic relatively recently (in my 30s), so most of this is still very new to me - any guidance is very appreciated!

Every time I would be in the market for something particular, say, a keyboard, or a camping tent, I would ask google, “What is the best air fryer, Reddit.”

I would get the link to the subject, however niche it was, and see discussions from assumedly real folks talking about the subject I was curious about. It was informative, and I could research deeper into brands or products I didn’t know about before.

Is there another site that even comes close to that? Or are we currently in a dark period until something like that comes along? I don’t typically use advertised websites to tell me “lists of the top ten handheld gaming consoles.”

Just wondering if there’s an alternative to my previous method of research.

Wow. So my (not so) little cousin has been missing for a few days. He is an EMT that works in the greater Denver area, and often at Red Rocks, where a massive hail storm greatly injured many people. Between me, my sister, his sister, my mom, and my best friend, we couldn't get in touch with him.

Thankfully, he is okay and was on a rafting trip so he turned his phone off. I've literally wiped this kid's ass (we're 9 years apart). Knowing he is safe and headed home is the greatest relief. But that adrenaline rush over the past 48 hours to suddenly stop is quite the crash. I feel like I can sleep for a full day now.

It can be anything, big or small! I think it's valuable to be able to change your opinions and not cling to them out of loyalty, so let's celebrate our flexibility! I'll go first.

I never used to listen to audio versions of books that I haven't already read, because I felt safety in the fact that I already knew what was going to happen and didn't feel concern over missing a passage from distraction. But in the past few months I realised that I listen to podcasts constantly, and that audiobooks (of the right kind) can be thought of as longer form podcasts.
So I've been jumping more into audiobooks for when I'm on long drives or commuting to university, and honestly it's great. I've been really enjoying Stephen Fry's Greek mythology series, and was finally able to finish "reading" the Hitchhiker's Guide series. As I have a bit of a mental block on actual reading that is unrelated to my masters, it's extremely cool to still be able to enjoy non-academic books without the feeling of guilt.

I was nervous to post this in ~news, because it's more of a question than a story, but here goes.

I'm looking to turn down the temperature, pace, and volume of my news consumption habits, as well as limit how much time I stare at a screen (I do that enough professionally). I've recently experimented with subscribing to fewer, higher-quality news sources and getting them delivered via RSS*. This works pretty well, but I'm still left looking for something even slower. Something like a weekly news publication, which is delivered once a week in a print format that I can read away from a screen.

I've subscribed to Sunday papers in the past, but it's too much and there's a lot in it - I think I'm looking for a little .. less. A slimmer publication, fewer pages. Almost as if someone selected the top five to seven stories covered on the Wikipedia current events page in the week, then wrote a few thousand words apiece on each. Something I can make it through with my coffee on Sunday mornings in a few hours.

Does anyone do this or have recommendations? If so, what do you read and how would you assess that publication? I think I've tried a fair number in the past, but I will take anyone's suggestions. Thank you so much in advance.

--
*I use Reeder for macOS / iOS - which is great btw, and it's shocking how much of the modern web still supports RSS. Highly recommend folks reconsider RSS in general.

Where do you think Tildes will be in 10 years? Will it still be around? How will the world be different from today? Do you think the world will be a better place? Be as positive or morbid as you want. Or, just say something, share something, post a link, tell a joke, give some advice. Then in ten years we can all come back to this thread and have a laugh... hopefully.

I'm seeing a lot of doomer content lately and plenty of defeatist commentary to match. I know it sucks out there but surely there's an air balloon that looks nice in the sky or something, right? It's exhausting to see the same negative stuff that I would see on reddit.

I need something positive and maybe you do too.

Here, I'll share something nice to get us started: This 72 year old guy graduated and his 99 year old mom cheered him on.

I have been (without paying attention) been reading more and more articles/op-eds etc from substack, usually linked from reddit or as of late, from here on Tildes. I decided to sign up and create an account for myself and found the list of suggested substacks to subscribe to fairly run-of-the-mill and not very enticing.

So, what are your favourite substacks? Which substacks raise topics new to you, challenge your perspectives, captures your attention for longer than intended?

I'm ashamed to admit that I've been on there way too much the last couple of weeks. I had always planned to use Reddit in my google searches because google sucks without it now, but I've been spending time talking there.

My niche interest in question is visual novels. There are very few places on the internet where you can discuss them. There was recently a final translation patch released for the Tsukihime Remake. I beat it and wanted to talk about it! Reddit has a Tsukihime subreddit. I don't know if there is any other English community on the internet that wants to talk about Tsukihime. It's niche enough that I know of no one in person who has that interest either. Without Reddit, where do you even look for an alternative?

I feel like I'm going continue being drawn back for similar things even if they are less niche than visual novels. For example, I wanted to talk about Final Fantasy XVI. I could have made a post about my thoughts here and maybe I would have gotten good discussion about it. Slipped my mind honestly. But I was drawn back to Reddit where there are thousands of people wanting to talk about it right this second. An alternative could have been Gamefaqs, but its a bit more toxic and I hate the style of forum (unthreaded, every post in chronological order, only way to follow conversations is with quoted text. Is there a term for that kind of forum?)

Does anyone else feel themselves feeling a similar pull?

Non-SFOite here. I’ve heard twice over the weekend how “bad and unlivable” San Francisco (proper) has become. Someone referred to it as a “failed city”, and “worse than LA”.

I’ve been to both cities and I’ve seen the tent cities in LA fashion district.

I’m curious to know if it truly had gotten that bad or if it’s just people being hyperbolic (like entire city level collapse).

I often engage in thoughtful discussions with my friends regarding our current socio-economic situation, and I find it challenging to discover a more fitting description than the term coined for it.

Wherever I direct my attention, I observe life increasingly being shaped by the well-oiled machinery of capitalism, a system devoid of inherent morals and existing solely to maximize profits for its shareholders.

To me, the notion of "late stage" capitalism implies a bleak future fueled by the insatiable demand for constant and unsustainable growth. This, in turn, hampers our ability to effectively plan for the future, as investors prioritize immediate gains. Consequently, our planet suffers the repercussions through climate change and the exacerbation of wealth inequality.

Moreover, the ruling of FEC vs Citizens United, wherein corporations were granted the ability to lobby as individuals, seems to have unleashed a relentless flywheel that perpetuates and nourishes the insatiable beast of capitalism and greed.

I am genuinely intrigued by the perspectives of others on this topic. If we collectively recognize that we are heading in an unfavorable direction, what steps can we take to regain a more positive trajectory? How can we incentivize prioritizing moral values and environmental impact over monetary gains?

Just wondering how many average 10 year olds you think you can fight off before being overwhelmed. Here are the basic terms of fighting: the kids are very angry at you, each one will fight you until they get hurt enough to quit or become unconscious, you are unarmed, and you are in a gated school playground as the battle arena. The playground is about 50 feet around, closed gate around in an octagon and closes up top like a dome. First one kid comes at you, then it adds one each time you defeat a group. Defeat 1 and 2 come, defeat the 2 then 3 come, and so on. Each group arrives by sliding down a pole into the middle playground and sliding down the slide. From there, they rush at you full force.

I feel confident in my abilities to fight. I'm pretty sure I can get to group 13, so that would be roughly give or take 70 kids if I can take a few out in that round.

What do you think?

I would like you to think of two things that you associate with your favourite colour. For example, if your favourite colour were black you might choose "the night sky" and "New Zealand rugby." Try not to put too much thought into it, and don't expand the spoiler sections below until you have your two things.

Today I am putting in writing some very personal thoughts on how to best communicate online and otherwise.

We all know the importance of interpretative charity in online discourse. Without it, we are bound to waste precious time and mental resources chasing dead ends which can be easily avoided by assuming that the interlocutor is both capable and willing to engage in rational conversation. Charitable interpretation can be surmised as the practice of giving precedence to interpretations that maximize the truthfulness and correction of arguments. Charitable Interpretation is essential for civil debate, bypassing unproductive exchanges to arrive quicker at the core of the matter at hand so that each argument has a chance to shine. Charitable Interpretation is a recipe for politeness and intellectual honesty but says very little about emotions and ethical considerations. To address those concerns, I propose a similar concept.

Compassionate Interpretation

Compassionate Interpretation goes a bit further, using a similar procedure to incentivize interactions that also achieve an amenable emotional resolution between the parties. So, while Charitable interpretation allows for productive debate by assuming the most cogent version of an argument, Compassionate Interpretation allows for serendipitous and emotionally enriching exchanges by assuming the interpretations which would lead you to believe that the interlocutor is the most ethical, virtuous, and worthy of sympathy.

When practicing Compassionate Interpretation, one must assume that statements made by others are not only reasonable but also interpret such statements in a way that is least detrimental to their morals. When more than one possible interpretation is possible, the Compassionate Interpreter must choose that which would not equate to a negative opinion of their morals.

By doing that, you avoid needlessly aggravating potential friends and allies. You also give a chance to those that require a change in worldview to improve their morals, stimulated by your kindness and optimism towards them.

On writing this, I remember of how much compassion, patience and kindness I need from others. That makes it easier for me to dispense compassion towards others.

I'll give an example using myself.

I'm a black man. Suppose that someone tells me the following phrase: "I do not understand the appeal of rap music". For some, that statement might indicate that the utterer holds, in addition to a musical preference, a negative opinion of black culture as a whole, which might entail that they hold some kind of prejudice against black people. Or it could simply mean what their words indicate on a surface, literal level: they genuinely do not understand what is appealing about rap music. As a Compassionate Interpreter, I give precedence to the latter. If, in the future, I accrue evidence telling me otherwise, I may revise my interpretation.

As is the case with Charitable Interpretation, there are situations in which a blanket application of Compassionate Interpretation might lead to unfavorable results. That would be the case of a truly malicious individual who intends to exploit our goodwill to cause all kinds of havoc. The principle would still apply, with a few adjustments. When encountering pernicious elements, the Compassionate Interpreter might feel compelled to interpret their actions as the consequence of ignorance, some kind of mental suffering, or traumatic experiences that led them to adopt ill behavior. However, compassion should not be mistaken for foolishness or naivety. A compassionate attitude does not prevent strong measures against wrongdoing. In online spaces, the best recommendation in these cases is to disengage completely and report the wrongdoer on whatever platform you are in.

In writing this, I share something very dear to me, in the hopes that it may lead to some good and helpful thoughts in the minds of the reader.

The previous introductions thread was only a few days ago, but it's getting pretty long and we expect more people. So here's another one!

This is a place for new users to post an introduction with a few fun facts about themselves. You will find the post box at the bottom the page. Maybe say hi to someone else you see while scrolling down?

If you like, you can also write something about yourself in your profile. See "Edit your user bio" on the settings page. Anyone who clicks on your username will see it in your profile. (It appears on the right side of the page.)

You can find out more about how to use Tildes in this topic: New users: Ask your questions about Tildes here!

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

Here's something I want to try, a sort of here's an idea thread for things you want to write down or think that are a good idea, but have no intention of exploring. All top level posts should be similar to shower thoughts in spontaneity, but allow you to further explore them should you choose to. Effectively, it's an Adopt a Thought!

I currently work for a “prestigious” company (you’ve heard the name) and have for a few years now. As a college student, my peers, friends, and my parents friends kept telling me how jealous they were of me for getting into such a great company.

I am quickly finding out that the “prestige” this company has was in reality really great marketing and that I do not particularly enjoy working there. I work way too much (12 hour days, 5am - 5pm are not uncommon) and I don’t like the toxic culture. It makes me anxious and depressed.

Is it really worth it? Should I apply to the local government jobs that pay $20k less but offer actual pensions (not 401k), are chill (my friend does Azure/AWS trainings and scrolls Reddit, and 40 hours a week if that? Everyone I bring this up to says it’s a total career downgrade and a bad idea.

As the title says I'm a first time buyer buying a new build in the UK. It's built by the council and a reputable builders and has the standard warenty and such so I'm not too worried about quality but it's still a huge life change. I'm getting the keys and moving in in a fortnight. I don't have too much stuff to move in as I've been lodging for a while, lots of furniture to aquire! For those who've done this before, what did you wish you knew at the time and what should I look out for?

I have some kind of flu and can’t sleep, so I’m just laying in bed with old stream VODs on in the background. It made me curious what others do in this situation, and asking might give me some ideas to take my mind off of how I’m feeling.

What areas of human activity are currently experiencing a time of great advancement or a remarkable surge in quality?

This is a call for positivity, if possible please refrain from irony or backhanded pessimism such as "We are in the golden age of assholes" or something.

Thanks ;)

I was inspired to share this after seeing this comment on another thread: https://tildes.net/~talk/162y/not_entirely_sure_how_to_fill_the_void_reddit_has_left#comment-87j6

Again, new to tildes here, so not quite sure if this sort of thing fits. It's not really a question, more, sharing something I do that I thought could be interesting for others. Maybe it belongs in a different group.

So the last few years I've started doing this little exercise: I will pick a time frame (usually few days, but a 24 hour period is great). I will turn off the phone (not just silence, but turn it off), turn off my modem, turn off the radio and music, pretty much any electronic device, and just... sit there.

I get bored quickly. But when the boredom comes, I sit with it. I analyze it. I try to understand boredom itself, and the unpleasant sensation its causing. I try to be aware of any urge that comes to distract myself from it, and I deny that urge, and see what happens internally when I deny that urge.

The boredom is uncomfortable, I won't lie. I really want to do other things. But I realize I'm capable of enduring it, and I so I sit there, because I want to see what will happen. And then something kind of wonderful happens: once the initial discomfort passes, and I accept I'm going to keep doing this, in the absence of things to distraction myself with, my thoughts begin to gravitate towards things that are genuinely important to me. What are the problems that I want to solve? What are the ideas that I want to work on? How do I want to make the world a better place? (Not what the news tells me is important, or friends, or the internet, it's all fucking noise - what problems are important to me?) This sounds like it should be so obvious, of course you know what's important to you, right? But something about this exercise illuminates it (for me at least). Almost like, I've got this tiny little flashlight, that I can point to whatever is important to me (we all do). When I'm in society, connected, I find that everyone has their flashlight on. Then big companies, news outlets, whatever, they have these giant ones, spotlights, all pointing in different directions. When all of this is on at once, it's so bright I don't even notice my own. I'm constantly distracted. I start to wonder "huh, that spot is bright, I wonder if I'm pointing my flashlight there." It's so easy to get confused. It's only once I turn it all off, and the world is dark, that I can clearly see what I'm pointing at. It's just so easy then.

This is not meditation, actually it's pretty much the opposite. I am not trying to clear my mind at all. I'm trying to see where my thoughts go when it's free of noise. Where they go is very revealing to me.

I'm still uncomfortable with boredom, I don't think that's changed at all. But I've become comfortable with sitting with it, and the fruits of this exercise have made it worth it to me. Moreover, the more I've done this, the more uncomfortable I've become with all the noise. I used to think I loved being connected, but now that I realize I don't have to be, it's actually the opposite... I really don't like having my phone on, I don't like having my modem on, and I dislike news, politics, and lots of that kind of stuff. It makes me feel almost claustrophobic. I find a lot of calm in being away from all of that. I'm still very grateful for these things, I just feel uncomfortable being connected to them 24/7, and I like to be away.

People often propose the question of if you were trapped in a video game world which would be best, but which one would be the absolute worst possible one. Really think about it too cause like being in like a zombie apocalypse or under a brutal dictatorship would be bad, but it could definitely get worse.

This might be a strange topic, and I'm not sure if others can relate, or if I am 100% strange here. Feel free to remove(?) this if it's not relevant.. This is just something I'd love to learn the experiences of others about and get some ideas, as I imagine everyone is so different.

So, I have a very annoying problem: I don't experience emotions very strongly (e.g. while some folks get moved by films or art, or maybe get worked up with joy or frustration in life, I seem to be far more emotionally neutral, even in very extreme situations.) This can be very useful (emotions can be misleading and lead to poor decisions), but also problematic and limiting (emotions can feel nice, help with creativity, it's a good way to express love to people, etc).

Occasionally, I do feel little bits of emotion, but they tend to go away very quickly. I really wish I felt more, but I don't know how.

I'm curious about the emotional experiences of others. Do you get naturally emotional? Could you cry from watching a movie? For those like myself who have underwhelming emotions - what does make you feel emotional? Do you have any tips or tricks for feeling more emotional, or, hanging on to emotions when you do get them? Has anyone ever been able to "overcome" this issue of not feeling emotions?

Thanks for any insight.

EDIT: If this is not the correct group for such a topic, please do let me know, and I will remove it.

Inspired by an old topic from 2021 on here: https://tild.es/uti
How do you think?
Have you ever thought about how you think?

Do you have a voice in your head? Is it your own voice? Do you think in visuals? How strong are the visuals?

Let's have a conversation about it. We all think differently!

As an exercise, if I asked you to sit down and solve a cross word in silence, how would you think it through?

Edit: thanks for all the very interesting and very insightful replies! I've been reading them today and I really appreciate everyone's input.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

With the Reddit blackout, and me deleting my account, I'm not entirely sure how to fill the void that Reddit has left. I'm using Tildes and Kbin as a replacement, and they're amazing for discussing the topics I'm interested in, but I had grown to rely on Reddit for keeping up with the news topics that interest me; gaming, tech, astrophysics, hip hop, fantasy novels, and many more. And while alternative communities exist for each of my examples, they aren't the one-stop-shop that Reddit had become for me. On top of that, my initial reaction to a lot of questions or queries would be to Google "Steam Deck vs ASUS Ally reddit.com" (for example), to get some first hand community opinions. I know that it took Reddit many years to get to such a point, and that I can't expect any new alternative to be at the same level right now. I've thought about trying to get into RSS feeds, which I've never tried, but again my gut reaction would be to look on Reddit as to what are the best sources to add. I don't have much of a point to my ramble, just wanted to vent and lament that I'm kind of lost without Reddit at the moment; it had become such a useful and ingrained tool in my life.

Yesterday someone on /r/lgbt posted this picture of themself at a pride event, and several people in the thread commented on OP's self harm scars - one asking them to please and thank you spoiler tag the image and post a trigger warning as they found the sight of OP's self harm scars triggering.

As someone who has very similar scars as OP I said fuck that, I disagree. I found it offensive that the sight of someone else's scars somehow grants you the right and allows you to tell them to cover up or hide themself because they find it triggering. To ask to have trigger warnings and spoiler tags added is unfair, in my opinion - the commenter then replied that it's not that hard to do. But for me it's obviously not about the effort it takes to do it, it's about the fundamental principle of asking someone to cover up or hide their body that I take issue with.

OP said elsewhere that they have struggled with mental health in the past but moved on, and clearly they are now at the point that they feel comfortable or don't mind that other people can see their scars. And I certainly feel like they should be allowed to wear whatever they like. I think that showing scars like this is 1) brave, 2) helps reduce stigma surrounding self harm, and 3) should be entirely that person's prerogative - their body, their choice.

So I am curious what you all think about this?

Is it fair to expect or ask someone to tag their picture like this, to hide their scars, to cover up, etc.?

Disclosure: I am a skeptical and science-minded person with an interest in paranormal encounters. Does any of this stuff actually exist? I don't know, but I do know that I find it interesting when people share their first hand encounters of things that they can't quite explain.

One thing I loved about Reddit is that it was a treasure trove for paranormal stories, and it is a shame those stories will be lost to the sands of time.

Please feel free to share any stories you might have experienced firsthand, or even share stories from others that you think fits the mark.

Talk rules:

1. Share stories or reply to others.
2. Skepticism is welcome, just don't be a dick.
3. True stories only. This isn't a thread for creative writing or 'campfire' stories.

@Deimos can tell us how many bans we've had so far on Tildes. Last count I knew was in the 50s months back, and some of those were the same person - out of 13,000 users. I'm sure it's rising right now, I'm also pretty sure it's still under a hundred, and I don't actually care if it's 1500. (Edit: It was four new bans, omg so nazi.)

If you take the time to learn something about social forums, you'll discover that 1% of the users cause 90% of the problems. Tildes will ban that 1% aggressively. Act like an asshole, attack someone, and you will find the door. You do not however have to tiptoe around like there are landmines here - nobody is going to ban you unless you start attacking other users or trolling all the time. You are in fact allowed to swear here, just not at people. Take a lesson from Louis Black - rants are best when aimed at inanimate objects. :)

Have you ever been to a nice big social party? Did you act like an asshole there? Did the bouncer throw you off the balcony? Probably not. That's because you didn't punch people in the face, piss all over the kitchen floor, or set the living room rug on fire while you were there (I hope). Try pretending that this is a real world party and adjust your behaviors accordingly. It is really not that difficult. Extend people here the same courtesy at a minimum that you would for a real world social gathering - maybe even go as far as you would for a black tie affair. The rest of us would appreciate it, I promise.

I'm sure by now most of you know about /r/redditalternatives. It's an old subreddit that has been collecting links to anything and everything even remotely like a social site for years that came out of the 2015 blackouts. Most of their favorites are long dead, and most of the ones they love now will be dead in a few years. They've been telling us we would be dead in two months for the last five years - which tells you how much their average user knows about social software. They are not exactly well read on the topic.

They are a useful link archive, and also a place for people to whine about the bans they've earned from other websites, or to shill for their own websites. Plenty of astrotrurfing for lemmy and squabbles going on there. Some of you folks are over there right now trying to sell them on Tildes, or worrying about the complaining about the bans.

I'd advise you not to waste your time commenting in that place. They do not want us there shilling, and you will never convince a redditor of anything due to the mindfuckery that place has inflicted on its users for decades. Let them be. Everyone who gets banned here (or on most other sites) posts a thread about it over there, and always has - this is tradition now. Laugh at it, like I always do. It's Shawshank all over again - everyone in there is innocent, lawyer fucked them.

Tildes was linked in the /r/videos post, which was #1 on reddit and why Deimos has an inbox taller than mount everest today. The 'secret' is out now. You do not need to go into forum warrior mode and try to defend Tildes. That's what your instincts are telling you to do, because 'tribes' are a thing, but it's not the right course of action. I guarantee you will have a better day if you just go for a ten minute walk, right now, rather than posting on reddit.

Frankly, bettervanilla's big collection here is the only useful thing to show up in that place in years, so good on them for giving that place a purpose again.

If you do want to help out, then use your invites. It's better if you pick, rather than just emails and invite threads. You do realize if Deimos tops everyone up to 5 codes, that's almost 100k new invites available and almost 20k people who can send them out, five at a time. This place is already past the point where it can die from the evaporative cooling effect, which did in fact have us on ice for a while there, but that's over now.

Look for conversations not where people are looking for alternatives, but where people are talking about real forums, pining for the old days of the internet, deep discussions, and complaining about cat posts and low effort content. Those are the people who will thank you for telling them about Tildes. Let's not be the same spamming, astroturfing jerks that every other website has become.

Edit: I take it back, this is also a remarkable post about the fediverse's moderation problems and I wish that place had more discussions of that nature. Also, Deimos says he banned 4 people in the last week, out of thousands of new users. Clearly, we're being unreasonable. :P

So I was wondering if anyone else here is an immersive or maladaptive daydreamer.

If you've never heard of those terms, this site describes it pretty well:

[They are a] detailed, vivid and narrative form of daydreaming, featuring complex plots and a cast of characters (either imaginary or based on real people). Daydreams may focus on one scene for many minutes or hours at a time, and usually return to the same story in future daydreaming sessions, so that the plot evolves over weeks, months or years. Often, the topic of the daydream is unconnected to the daydreamer’s real life.

If it helps you get a clearer understanding, I personally like to describe it as never really outgrowing playing pretend. To this day I still call it "playing my game", and I use fictional worlds as a basis (which I then load with tons of original characters and lore of my own design).

The main difference between maladaptive daydreaming and immersive daydreaming is that with maladaptive, it gets in the way of life since you let it take precedence over life. One article I read when I first learned about the terms had someone describe it as an addiction to your own mind, which... Yeah, I think you can see why that's a challenge to overcome.

I personally think I'm more in the immersive category, with some maladaptive tendencies, but I think it's helped me overall more than harmed me. I'm an only child and was "the weird kid", so I spent a lot of time daydreaming as a kid. I credit it with why I'm able to relate to other people so well, and why my sense of self is so defined. I got to do all my self-exploration pretty directly inside the daydreams, and it let me explore a lot of scenarios I'd never encounter in real life. As a writer, I also use it sometimes to explore story ideas and concepts.

The downsides for me personally: I'm definitely able to "disconnect" from reality more easily than others, for better and worse. If I don't have time or space to play for an extended period of time, I can get pretty restless too. Also, music is both my greatest motivator and my bane. I sometimes spend more time trying to find a song to fit a scene's mood than actually daydreaming. I also learned that music can actually drain my energy after working at Goodwill one Christmas. My mom described the playlist as "dirges", which is the best word because those songs were all super slow (minus one high-energy Jingle Bells cover that was honestly jarring). I'd come home from work feeling exhausted.

What about you guys? Anyone else here an immersive or maladaptive daydreamer?

What the recent Reddit protest cemented in my mind is how ineffective protest tends to be the larger and more entrenched an established order is. There's no real incentive to change because ultimately everyone knows that the protestors have little recourse.

If you want to enact change, just trying to get people enraged and trying to get them to express that rage is not a great tactic. What you need as an alternative for people to go to instead, because that's the only real threat that matters to the establishment, the threat of being replaced.

So to that end, I'd like to start a conversation about what it is that people need, and how we can arrange structures to get those things without needing to rely on external actors who don't have your interests at heart.

For example, community mesh networks are a way of expanding internet into more of a public amenity so everyone can have access to it.

Virtual power plants can allow communities to produce their own power reliably and reduce their reliance on major power providers.

These are the kinds of things I am interested in. I feel that the most effective way to push back against profiteering corporations is to simply reduce our need for them in the first place.

What are some good community oriented solutions to societal needs that you feel deserve more attention and interest?

Conventional wisdom tells us money does not buy happiness, perhaps the opposite. "Studies" (don't quote me on this, just going off headlines/articles I've read) say happiness grows asymptotically and levels off around an income of 70k USD (perhaps more like 90k inflation adjusted?). I would be interested to know how any of this matches your personal experience. Has your happiness consistently grown with income? If so, where did that growth level off, if at all? And to what would you attribute it? better consumer goods, more security, more freedom...? Have any of you experienced a decrease in happiness associated with growing income? I eagerly await your thoughts!

I‘m currently watching a video on Youtube and they just mentioned that famous hard-to-escape prison in the US. They just said its name and I actually know what it’s called, yet I can’t recall it right now. I thought of Azcaban, Alaska, Alcazar (Crying at the Disquotheque was playing along in my head aswell)…. and now as I‘m typing this, it finally came to me that the prison is called Alcatraz. When my brain came up with Alaska I actually had to laugh at what it’s coming up with while desperately trying to find the actual name. Fucking Alaska prison. And when the Harry Potter version comes to mind before the actual one, you know my priorities in life.

Now I want to hear your stories of your brain failing you.

I'm no luddite. I'm a tech consultant who likes shaving microseconds off API calls.

But for social media, dear tildellows, please consider embracing a slower web. I mention this as I hear a few people for example missing push notifications for messages, etc.

Consider that nobody on social media websites needs to reach you instantly.
Consider that there is nothing happening on such sites that you need to read ASAP.
Consider that you will never be able to keep up with the world, and that trying to stay at the edge of some information will just mean you're missing out on some other edge.

Read your town's local news, which is a lot more likely to impact you. And it's ok to respond to your DMs after a couple days.

With the death of third party apps, I'm gone. Way over 90% of my interactions are on RIF Is Fun, and I don't see myself changing over. (Ironically, I'm typing this on my laptop, but this is definitely the exception.)

The u/spez "AMA" (quotes because it was anything but an AMA) yesterday made clear that there was no vision, no plan, no grand strategy, no genius behind the scenes trying to make a bad situation better. There is next-quarterism, venture vulture capital destruction, and a fundamental misunderstanding of where Reddit gets its value. Without the users, the mods, and the developers who make this insane place work, it will never turn a profit.

Who wants to advertise on a website when there is random nsfw spam? Or where there is rampant racism without folks to clean it up? Or where nobody goes because there is no content? Developers, mods, and users provide (in order) the methods of interaction that then get applied to lead to the economic driver of the company. In the "AMA," the most damning comment in my mind was "we’ll continue to be profit-driven until profits arrive". You can't cut costs out of a budget hole when most of the work done comes from free labor, and when the content that drives eyeballs to the site is free too.

Reddit is cutting the legs off of the 1% and <0.1% of users by seeking short-sighted profits off the backs of third-party developers. Reddit is gaslighting and libelling and doing a pretty shit job of it, because we all can see what's done and said here...And it is just going to accelerate the decline of the site.

I'm not going to be deleting, because I have unreasonable hope that things can change for the better, I'll just not coming on nearly as much. I'll probably sleep or something with the extra time. Or maybe I'll read books on my phone, or develop a new strange addiction.

Here lies Reddit, a hive of scum and villainy to rival Mos Eisley. It was home. So long, and thanks for all the fish.