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    1. Do you all ever wonder about this "five star" or "best" mindset?

      (Still trying to figure out what to post on this site; sorry if this is a bit abstract.) I'm not sure what to call this culture, but it's the culture that dictates everything must be 4-5 stars or...

      (Still trying to figure out what to post on this site; sorry if this is a bit abstract.)

      I'm not sure what to call this culture, but it's the culture that dictates everything must be 4-5 stars or its nothing. There is a "best" dropship identical item on Amazon. There is a "best" hole in the wall restaurant. There is a "best" takeout place near you. There is a "best" way to do things.

      It's not about "laying flat." Laying flat, as far as I understand it, is purely about not caring about the "best" professional life. What I think about is about how algorithms of "best" dictate what we watch, do, and consume, yet they are tied to false perceptions of what "best" can bring us and sometimes plainly false reviews. For example, you can have the "best" meal, but your actual best meal is the ramen place you went to when it was raining and the original restaurant you tried to go to was packed. It's completely unplanned and not thoroughly algorithm'd (though not calculation-free); it is the organic best that found us. Something about the sense of discovery can really just blow you away and surprise you.

      I remember reading an article years ago about the joy and randomness of someone curating a collection of CDs, the way you could thumb through and look at the covers, and the whole "discovery" of it.

      45 votes
    2. Is acupuncture, like, legit now?

      I remember a time when acupuncture was universally condemned as bogus pseudoscience, and I was under the impression that that remained true. However, looking for negative takes on acupuncture on...

      I remember a time when acupuncture was universally condemned as bogus pseudoscience, and I was under the impression that that remained true. However, looking for negative takes on acupuncture on YouTube is almost impossible now. Almost everything is overwhelmingly positive, including content produced by medical doctors. I could only find a few negative videos. They were short, not very good, and not very popular.

      This is a sincere question: am I really out of touch, or has everyone gone crazy?

      Anecdotally, I did acupuncture without believing in it, and it didn't do anything for me.

      30 votes
    3. Why are people weird around babies?

      I mean, I love my kid, but why do people have such an explosion of emotion when they look at a baby that is not theirs? As if it was something they desire so deeply that they can barely contain...

      I mean, I love my kid, but why do people have such an explosion of emotion when they look at a baby that is not theirs? As if it was something they desire so deeply that they can barely contain themselves? And why do they must express this emotion using words like "I wanna bite it", "I can't handle the baby smell!", "I just wanna eat it!", or "Yummy!" like they're the Cookie Monster and my kid is a cookie? Every time someone says those things -- usually women -- I imagine a man saying the same things, and it grosses me out. Why is it okay for women to say those things when a man cannot?

      I genuinely feel nothing for babies that are not my own, so it is hard for me to understand.

      Mods: please don't move this to ~life. This is meant as a causal conversation and should remain in ~talk. Thanks.

      35 votes
    4. Switching from short-term/immediate thinking, to long-term thinking

      What I mean by short/immediate thinking vs. long-term.. let's take the experience of learning a new skill (for example, riding a bike). In the beginning, the skill is difficult as you're carving...

      What I mean by short/immediate thinking vs. long-term.. let's take the experience of learning a new skill (for example, riding a bike). In the beginning, the skill is difficult as you're carving out those new neural pathways in your mind. It's grating, unnatural, uncomfortable. It seems that the rational way to think about this experience is "yes, it feels uncomfortable right now, but if I keep attempting this, eventually the discomfort will lessen, and it will get easier. It won't be like this forever." For myself (and I assume some others?), I instead get stuck in a mindset of only seeing the present moment: "this sucks and therefore it will always suck!" Yeah, I can catch myself thinking this way and correct it to consider the long-term, but that's not my default. My default is short term, now, only now.

      You could expand this to so many things: enduring temporary struggles and not letting them get you down (the situation isn't permanent, it will change), not partaking in addictive behaviors (deciding not to do something that might feel good, because you're considering the long term consequences), procrastination... list goes on and on. To me, it always seems rational to consider long term impact of your actions. If you don't, it seems you're blowing off this entire swath of information which could/should inform your decisions in the present moment.

      On the flipside, I'm not saying you should only think of the future and disregard the present... just when making decisions, it seems better to consider both, that's all..

      I have been trying for 10 months to change this about myself, yet I continue to slip back into this pattern of constant "now" thinking. I know it leads to irrational decisions. I'd love to hear others thoughts on this. Have you struggled with this? If so, how did you manage to overcome these thinking patterns? For anyone: are you more naturally a "now" thinker, or are you lucky enough to naturally consider the long-term, or maybe you bounce between both? I have no idea if this is a common experience, or if it means something is inherently irrational about the way I think.

      30 votes
    5. What's your honest opinion about people who are not afraid of asking for what they want?

      Apologies for the wordy title. Generally speaking, I do not hesitate to ask for things - needs, wants, help - especially in a professional context. I realize though that most people are not like...

      Apologies for the wordy title. Generally speaking, I do not hesitate to ask for things - needs, wants, help - especially in a professional context.

      I realize though that most people are not like me, and I think it would come across as a bit narcissistic if I started asking my acquaintances and friends about their perception of me. It's a bit of a self-serving question even here, but oh well.

      In any case, I turn to you: what is your honest opinion about people that ask for what they want? Do you have a positive or negative perception of them? Or maybe you can share some interesting anecdotes.

      27 votes
    6. What are your thoughts on social nudity?

      Got your attention yet? I'm a mod of the nudism sub on that other site, and I've set up camp on KBin and Lemmy in case our users want to revolt, but personally have been enjoying Tildes quite a...

      Got your attention yet?

      I'm a mod of the nudism sub on that other site, and I've set up camp on KBin and Lemmy in case our users want to revolt, but personally have been enjoying Tildes quite a bit more, despite not having a specific place to host our community (but that isn't what Tildes is for....)

      My wife and I have visited many nudist or clothing optional resorts, campgrounds, and beaches in the US and overseas. These are non-sexualized family friendly places, just like any other resort, summer camp, or beach you've been to, except that the vast majority of people aren't wearing clothes. There are multiple worldwide organizations that represent nudists, provide accreditation to resorts and clubs, making sure everyone is "playing by the rules" and maintaining a level of decorum.

      Next month we're headed back to a clothing optional music festival that we thoroughly enjoyed last year.

      There is something completely freeing about being outside in the sun/breeze/ocean/lake/whatever with no clothing, no connection to your daily life. We both have stressful jobs that require us to be "on-grid" almost all the time, and being able to make these escapes are a way to completely disconnect from the stresses of daily life. And of course, swimming in clothing, and then having to sit around in those wet clothes for the next hour is just a ridiculous idea.

      So what say you Tildes (Tilders? Tildesers? Tildees?)? Have you ever skinny dipped or visited a nude beach? Got any questions about the logistics of it?

      74 votes
    7. The impact of an accent on charisma/persuasion

      Five years ago, I moved from the southeast US to the northwest. I took my southern accent with me, and, as far as I know, it's been fine. I've been able to get work, make friends, and mostly...

      Five years ago, I moved from the southeast US to the northwest. I took my southern accent with me, and, as far as I know, it's been fine. I've been able to get work, make friends, and mostly function as normal.

      My accent is light. It doesn't sound southern to other southerners, but it does sound southern anywhere else in the US. People who have commented on it say they like it (but what else would you say, I guess šŸ˜…).

      But I'm about to take on something that will require me to be persuasive. I'm wondering what Tildes thinks: will my accent diminish my ability to be persuasive? Should I try to train my accent out and develop a more neutral accent?

      I find myself torn. On the one hand, a southern accent could immediately call to mind the stereotypes of the south: stubborn people without much education. Maybe it makes sense to let that go and start on a more level playing field. On the other hand, my time growing up in the south is part of my history. It makes me unique and maybe the upset expectations (if someone hears me and expects me to embody those stereotypes I mentioned before) could make me more memorable.

      I generally don't like the idea of filing the rough edges off things, especially when those things are people, but at the same time, I have goals I want to achieve and I'm willing to do what it takes to reach them. So, what do you think?

      Edit: I appreciate all the comments so far! For a little additional context, I want to be active in local politics. Not trying to run for office or anything. Not sure exactly where I'll be taking that on yet, but it won't be in the south.

      41 votes
    8. Is keeping Donald Trump in the 2024 US election beneficial to Democrats?

      Yes, Trump has a real chance of winning in 2024 and that would be dangerous for the world in many ways. On the other hand Trump seems like the easiest candidate for the presumptive nominee...

      Yes, Trump has a real chance of winning in 2024 and that would be dangerous for the world in many ways.

      On the other hand Trump seems like the easiest candidate for the presumptive nominee President Biden to beat.

      1. A lot of Americans are rightly scared shitless of Trump and will turn out to vote against him.
      2. Trump is likely to try to dodge debates which benefits Biden, who has a stuttering problem and a gaffe problem.
      3. Trump is elderly, like Biden so that somewhat neutralizes the age issue for Biden.

      If Trump was removed from the election DeSantis might become the front runner or nominee

      1. He is young, and the age issue would be on Biden again
      2. He might have the debates Trump would have eschewed and do well in them
      3. DeSantis would likely pick up Trump's base in that situation

      The worst scenario with Trump being removed from the election would if someone other than DeSantis became the nominee

      1. Again, the age issue would be a thing for Biden again
      2. The unknown nominee could be a better debater than Biden
      3. The unknown candidate would have neither Trump's nor DeSantis's baggage, causing more voters to stay home or swing voters picking him/her over Biden

      Edit:

      To clarify, I mean what would happen if Trump was kept entirely out of 2024 - no 3rd party runs, no vote splitting.

      45 votes
    9. A "low-risk" AMA thread for everyone

      Historically, I've found the most interesting AMA's came from seemingly "ordinary" people. (touchmyfuckingcoffee's vacuum AMA's come to mind!) I think that most everyone has one or two life...

      Historically, I've found the most interesting AMA's came from seemingly "ordinary" people. (touchmyfuckingcoffee's vacuum AMA's come to mind!) I think that most everyone has one or two life experiences, points of view, or specialized knowledge that would be fun to share or fun to learn about.

      I've toyed with the idea of hosting an AMA for awhile, but I've been afraid that maybe I wasn't "interesting" enough. Then, I realized that others might be in the same position! So instead of hosting my own AMA, I wanted to make space for a collective "Low-Risk" AMA, that I think would work especially well with Tildes' philosophy and format.

      With that preamble, I'm wondering if you would like to join me in an experiment? Let's make mini-AMA's out of top-level comments, with the Q's and A's as child comments.

      Edit: Wow! I wasn't expecting this thread to have so much staying power! Love all the conversations that are being had. FYI The early posters including myself are still answering questions, so don't be shy!

      191 votes
    10. Anyone else feel/used to feel that they will be alone both platonically and romantically, forever?

      I have cptsd and comorbid-depression, am gay and trans, and i have bad social skills (i cant even maintain eye contact with someone). I feel completely hopeless for the future and i just wanted to...

      I have cptsd and comorbid-depression, am gay and trans, and i have bad social skills (i cant even maintain eye contact with someone). I feel completely hopeless for the future and i just wanted to know if anyone else here related, or if they've recovered. Thanks
      Edit: Thank you all very much for the great responses. Maybe i'll make it :)

      37 votes
    11. What are your thoughts on the European Union centralizing into something more akin to an early United States

      As a preface, this comes from the perspective of an American looking in on Europe. I'm curious in particular what any Europeans (please include your country of origin/ethnicity if you feel so...

      As a preface, this comes from the perspective of an American looking in on Europe. I'm curious in particular what any Europeans (please include your country of origin/ethnicity if you feel so inclined) feel about this post and the future of the EU.

      Europe is a unique region, to put it lightly. The extremely high level of development relative to the rest of the world over this last millennium as well as so many technological innovations in that period of time led to a Europe ready to exert its influence upon the rest of the world. We can comfortably say that, while examples do still exist, colonialism as an institution has largely faded. Europe is a much more varied continent culturally and ethnically despite a space roughly equal to that of the USA. We've all heard the common sayings about 200 miles is long in Europe where 200 years is long in America and generally speaking that does hold true.
      That said, Europe in the modern era really does feel like many small countries functioning as one big entity with the European Union. The EU has only gained credibility and legitimacy and it is now the institution I expect to hear from on matters within the EU first, even ahead of any individual nation state.
      All of this to say, I think a united Europe is the strongest possible future for Europe. No individual state in Europe is large enough to exert an influence upon the world without the rest of Europe behind them. Globalization, while diminished in recent years, is still happening and I don't see a decentralized Europe as "winning" globalization as dozens of individually tiny states.

      I could continue writing, but I think you understand my position. Now I would like to point to the article I found that really made me think about this, here.

      I would also like to ask, what do you see Europe and the European Union standing for? Should it continue to centralize or is the current level of control enough? Too much? I didn't mention Ukraine or defense in this post but obviously that has a huge impact on all of these questions and I would love to hear if that has impacted your perspective on this admittedly grandiose idea for a united Europe.

      People from all countries welcome to discuss, but please do mention your country if you feel comfortable doing so!

      Edit: More reading for anyone interested.

      53 votes
    12. Is there a name for the "this is not who I am" defense?

      Basically as the title says. I'm a big proponent of "judging people by what they do, not what they say"; it has been one of my most unshakeable life mottos and I can't, for the life of me, grasp...

      Basically as the title says. I'm a big proponent of "judging people by what they do, not what they say"; it has been one of my most unshakeable life mottos and I can't, for the life of me, grasp why or how someone with even a modicum of intellectual honesty can believe otherwise.

      I'm very interested in the nature of the mental gymnastics going on inside the people who defend themselves with such statements.

      Thanks folks !!

      EDIT: rephrased for clarity

      44 votes
    13. IAMA 3rd year Ph.D. student researching the cell biology of the Rice Blast fungus, Magnaporthe oryzae, and preparing for my candidacy qualifying exam. AMA.

      Hi Tilders! I am new here, but my experience with the community thus far has encouraged me to post an AMA. I've specifically decided to post this AMA in ~talk rather than ~science for more...

      Hi Tilders! I am new here, but my experience with the community thus far has encouraged me to post an AMA. I've specifically decided to post this AMA in ~talk rather than ~science for more exposure, and because I am hoping to field questions ranging from scientifically well-read to less-read, technical to curious, why care to who cares, and everything in between.

      I won't be posting "verifying proof", because like many of you, I love my anonymity here. However, I will include peer-reviewed citations to question answers when I feel it necessary. I will do my best to share free-access articles, but this won't always be possible. If I link an article of interest to you that is paid-access, message me; maybe, I may be able to get a copy to you. Also, please be patient for my replies. Even though it is summer where I am, I am still busy in the lab and thoughtful responses take time.

      Here is a brief background on the Rice Blast fungus to help get the conversation started:

      Rice is an important staple food consumed by nearly half of the global population Khush. 2005. From 10 - 30% of the annual rice harvest is lost to disease caused by Magnaporthe oryzae, which is enough rice to feed greater than 60 million people Skamnioti and Gurr. 2009. To cause infection, a three-celled asexual spore called a conidium attaches to the rice plant's leaves, stems, and even roots. Once attached, a germ tube emerges from one of the three cells and grows along the surface of the plant. Hydrophobic molecules on the plant surface, called hydrophobins, induce a developmental change in the growing germ tube. The growing germ tube tip begins to form a dome-shaped structure called the appressorium. This specialized structure swells and generates up to 80 Mpa of pressure, enough to penetrate kevlar. A penetration peg penetrates the plant cell tissue, and bulbous invasive hyphae colonize the plant cell tissue. The fungus keeps the invaded plant cell alive, while it consumes its nutrients, with the plant cell dying only when the invading growth moves to an adjacent cell Cruz-Mireles et al. 2021. Schematic.

      The Rice Blast research community focuses on all stages of its development. My work is focused on nuclear division during different developmental stages, and I am specifically working on understanding which and how motor proteins are involved in nuclear division in this fungus. Understanding the nuclear dynamics and the involved machinery will hopefully open avenues for controlling the plant infection and reducing the global crop loss.

      I hope you all find Rice Blast interesting, and I hope I will be able to answer many interesting questions!

      40 votes
    14. Why I cannot take a holiday... Work!

      I have a very senior role inside of a 450 person company, in IT. I'm not going to be too specific but it's in the TV industry. I state this because anyone that works in TV probably knows it's full...

      I have a very senior role inside of a 450 person company, in IT. I'm not going to be too specific but it's in the TV industry. I state this because anyone that works in TV probably knows it's full of hot heads and technically inept people. I have a very small team of two in the UK looking after four sites, a couple of guys in the US too, looking after almost pure remote folks, they're mostly cloud.

      Every time I go on holiday and as the most technical and senior person, some shit happens that ruins my break. I've had everything from ISP issues caused by finance not paying the bill so we had a site cut off, through to a show not being able to be delivered to channel on a deadline of hours which meant I had to step in, no matter where in the world I am and on what vacation.

      I'm away again. Today, 10am, ping after ping about a site outage. Servers unavailable. Telephones not working. IT have failed again. The usual email chains and Teams/Slack chats that start pointing and poking. Absolutely furious and away on a family break I ignored it for the youngsters to solve, it should have been an easy fix. But no, the information given to them was wrong. The diagnosis handed to me incorrect. A cancelled ISP contract kicked in but we have multiple site outbound connections so that should not effect us. The site to site link goes dark for this particular site. I finally get THE CALL. I'm not going to rant too much as it gets technical but there's only so much that can be done from a phone VPN over a poor quality cell connection when you're somewhere between a wooded area a beach, and all you have on you is a 6" android device. I eventually got hold of my US senior tech who spent a four hours trying to direct the UK youngsters on what to touch, where to look. Turns out, some people randomly plugged in a switch, a NAS with DHCP server on and then managed to loopback the network using two ports of a SIP phone over the weekend as they had no clue what they were doing and eventually the network gave out. Spanning tree is not as good as it should be. We're a small team and due to always being overridden in protocol I've never been allowed to MAC address deny by default even though we're often a hacker target. BYOD is rife and it's getting harder to not lose data.

      Anyway. Another day of my vacation ruined, time I should have spent concentrating on my family and having fun, building memories. The seething email I have sent to the board will go down like a lead balloon, I cannot wait to read the responses on Monday! Deny is going to get enabled by default or I'm going to resign.

      So I ask you, how many others like me are there in here that work pushes in to your personal time, every time you try to get away from it?

      48 votes
    15. Do you think life was better in the past?

      I've seen discussions on here about nostalgia or nostalgic moments. It seems not only in this site, but others find themselves reminiscing about a time long passed. I've seen it popping up more...

      I've seen discussions on here about nostalgia or nostalgic moments. It seems not only in this site, but others find themselves reminiscing about a time long passed. I've seen it popping up more and more. Some brush it aside as people being nostalgic about a time when they didn't have to work, but I find myself thinking that the increased rise of people reminiscing about the past is because the quality of life and/or the world itself feels so much worse than it did in the past. I've done this as well, too many times.

      What're your thoughts on this?

      43 votes
    16. Can someone please explain like I'm five how or whether the energy needs for technical civilization in the future can possibly be met?

      So from earliest childhood, I have experienced that from time to time the electrical grid becomes unavailable for use and it can take days or even weeks to restore service. I'm having trouble...

      So from earliest childhood, I have experienced that from time to time the electrical grid becomes unavailable for use and it can take days or even weeks to restore service. I'm having trouble comprehending the scope, scale and plausibility of what changes would need to be made to increase the electrification of everything in the way that is being pushed by policy advisors.

      Everyone is pushing electric cars. I think it's a great idea, but I have questions about how the grid can support it.

      People tell me that the next big advancement in the workplace is going to be the incorporation of artificial intelligence. Doesn't AI require servers on a massive scale? How plausible is it for AI to reach all corners of society and economy on our existing grid or reasonable expectations for plausible improvement of the grid?

      The banks seem to be lobbying for the substitution of electronic accounts for cash. Again, electric power is not always available. Also some people who need to use money don't have homes and can't reliably charge electronics. If I remember correctly the payment system went down in Canada a while ago and people without cash were out of luck.

      What insight can you share with me?

      37 votes
    17. What's something you want to understand the appeal of?

      Is there something you just don't get? Something that you have no idea why people like it? Something that baffles you personally, but clearly not everyone shares your neutral-to-negative feelings?...

      Is there something you just don't get? Something that you have no idea why people like it? Something that baffles you personally, but clearly not everyone shares your neutral-to-negative feelings? Now's your chance to ask.

      Here's the way it works:

      1. Someone names something they want to understand the appeal of.
      2. People respond, doing their best to convey why they (or others) like it in a way that's understandable to a skeptical audience.

      This can be anything: musical genres, food combinations, personal habits, life experiences, etc.

      Importantly, this is NOT meant to be a thread about grousing about what other people like. Think of it less as "telling people to get off your lawn" and more "why do those people like to spend time on my lawn in the first place?"

      109 votes
    18. How do you cope with situations beyond your control?

      Specifically you and your methods. And that which is beyond your control could either be on the macro scale such as community-wide or worldwide events, or the more personal side of things such as...

      Specifically you and your methods. And that which is beyond your control could either be on the macro scale such as community-wide or worldwide events, or the more personal side of things such as family, friends or complicated relationships.

      I personally am desperate for distraction right now as a result of crisis with my younger brother. It's beyond my control now (though it never really has been) and it's difficult to focus in this period of waiting. For a while, I found some distracting solace in Diablo IV, actually, because the game teeters just enough into mindless action that it keeps me from overthinking. But I need to be working right now and cut through the noise. I am certainly curious about other methods from other folks.

      Edit: Thank you to everyone who took the time to share your stories and advice thus far. It has truly been helpful and, in a way, creating this post and reading these responses felt like a method of coping I didn't expect.

      30 votes
    19. What are your experiences with leadership and ego?

      Does leadership imply ego? Does it require ego? What are good characteristics of either? Can leadership be altruistic? Can ego and altruism co-exist? Or do all leaders function from a place of...

      Does leadership imply ego? Does it require ego? What are good characteristics of either? Can leadership be altruistic? Can ego and altruism co-exist? Or do all leaders function from a place of self-interest?

      Iā€™d love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this.

      19 votes
    20. Let's talk nostalgia

      Greeting everyone, first time actually posting on tildes so try and forgive me for any shortcomings as it's hard to tap out paragraphs on a mobile device. So I wanted to ask you all, when you...

      Greeting everyone, first time actually posting on tildes so try and forgive me for any shortcomings as it's hard to tap out paragraphs on a mobile device.

      So I wanted to ask you all, when you think nostalgia what specific idea or memory comes up for you?

      When i give it some thought my specific memories of nostalgia are of the late 90s early 2000s. I picture a freshly constructed suburban neighborhood where there are no fences built yet, no trees planted or grown, and just grass everywhere - giving it a very liminal feeling. I reflect back on the hours spent outside until after dusk where the amber glow of the street lamps brought a feeling of warmth and coziness on a warm spring evening.

      I also think about the technology, or lack thereof, at the time and how we used it. Beige computers transitioning to black ones as the 2000s crept up, using your big toe to turn them on, playing runescape or Sims Deluxe Edition mindlessly for an unhealthy amount of time etc. I think about the connectivity we had to each other, no smart phones, a wild west internet, and in my case a house phone with a kilometer long cord so that grandma can call europe with calling cards for hours on end while she tangles us all up with the cobweb of wires.

      The list of memories can go on forever, but now I turn it over to you guys/gals.

      30 votes
    21. What do Tilderinos theorize regarding the Mandela Effect?

      I came across this phenomenon naturally once again when I saw an article asking why people thought a cornucopia was once a part of the Fruit of the Loom logo, going on to describe the Mandela...

      I came across this phenomenon naturally once again when I saw an article asking why people thought a cornucopia was once a part of the Fruit of the Loom logo, going on to describe the Mandela Effect. I was flabbergasted as my mother frequently bought me this underwear brand throughout the 90s and I distinctly remember the logo being that way. Specifically as rendered in this image. The company says this was never the case and yet thousands remember it to be true and more disturbing still, there are articles going back decades that describe the logo having a cornucopia. (Conspiracy theorists call this 'residue', or the lingering of the 'truth' after some psychic or interdimensional catastrophe)

      Now with other cases of this phenomenon, I'm skeptical. So what if so many kids misremembered how a childhood book series was spelled (Berenstein/Berenstain) or misattributed when a famous person died.

      This Fruit of the Loom one rocked my world. Is this mass hysteria? Government conspiracy? Time traveler interference? Parallel universes colliding?

      I'm not really sold on any of it and normally I'm a skeptic who believes in rationality and generally agrees with Occam's Razor. This underwear logo though...it scared me.

      33 votes
    22. Near-death experiences

      This weekend, my spouse and I were hit by a car that missed a stop sign and crashed into our car head-on. It was the most terrifying moment of my life, and both of us thought it'd be our last. We...

      This weekend, my spouse and I were hit by a car that missed a stop sign and crashed into our car head-on. It was the most terrifying moment of my life, and both of us thought it'd be our last. We ended up ok, but it definitely shook us. I feel immense gratitude to be alive and breathing right now.

      What near death experience have you had, and how has it impacted your life afterwards, if at all?

      29 votes
    23. Free Talk Tuesday

      This is a thread for random topics youā€™d like to discuss that donā€™t warrant a whole post. Just had a great meal? Got a wink? Flat tire? Rant about your ex? Shower thought? Go!

      28 votes
    24. Could we share some uplifting news?

      I'm seeing a lot of doomer content lately and plenty of defeatist commentary to match. I know it sucks out there but surely there's an air balloon that looks nice in the sky or something, right?...

      I'm seeing a lot of doomer content lately and plenty of defeatist commentary to match. I know it sucks out there but surely there's an air balloon that looks nice in the sky or something, right? It's exhausting to see the same negative stuff that I would see on reddit.

      I need something positive and maybe you do too.

      Here, I'll share something nice to get us started: This 72 year old guy graduated and his 99 year old mom cheered him on.

      76 votes
    25. How many of you feel yourselves being drawn back to Reddit for the sake of niche communities and discussions?

      I'm ashamed to admit that I've been on there way too much the last couple of weeks. I had always planned to use Reddit in my google searches because google sucks without it now, but I've been...

      I'm ashamed to admit that I've been on there way too much the last couple of weeks. I had always planned to use Reddit in my google searches because google sucks without it now, but I've been spending time talking there.

      My niche interest in question is visual novels. There are very few places on the internet where you can discuss them. There was recently a final translation patch released for the Tsukihime Remake. I beat it and wanted to talk about it! Reddit has a Tsukihime subreddit. I don't know if there is any other English community on the internet that wants to talk about Tsukihime. It's niche enough that I know of no one in person who has that interest either. Without Reddit, where do you even look for an alternative?

      I feel like I'm going continue being drawn back for similar things even if they are less niche than visual novels. For example, I wanted to talk about Final Fantasy XVI. I could have made a post about my thoughts here and maybe I would have gotten good discussion about it. Slipped my mind honestly. But I was drawn back to Reddit where there are thousands of people wanting to talk about it right this second. An alternative could have been Gamefaqs, but its a bit more toxic and I hate the style of forum (unthreaded, every post in chronological order, only way to follow conversations is with quoted text. Is there a term for that kind of forum?)

      Does anyone else feel themselves feeling a similar pull?

      115 votes
    26. How bad is it to live in San Francisco?

      Non-SFOite here. Iā€™ve heard twice over the weekend how ā€œbad and unlivableā€ San Francisco (proper) has become. Someone referred to it as a ā€œfailed cityā€, and ā€œworse than LAā€. Iā€™ve been to both...

      Non-SFOite here. Iā€™ve heard twice over the weekend how ā€œbad and unlivableā€ San Francisco (proper) has become. Someone referred to it as a ā€œfailed cityā€, and ā€œworse than LAā€.

      Iā€™ve been to both cities and Iā€™ve seen the tent cities in LA fashion district.

      Iā€™m curious to know if it truly had gotten that bad or if itā€™s just people being hyperbolic (like entire city level collapse).

      38 votes
    27. Are we in "late stage" capitalism? What's next?

      I often engage in thoughtful discussions with my friends regarding our current socio-economic situation, and I find it challenging to discover a more fitting description than the term coined for...

      I often engage in thoughtful discussions with my friends regarding our current socio-economic situation, and I find it challenging to discover a more fitting description than the term coined for it.

      Wherever I direct my attention, I observe life increasingly being shaped by the well-oiled machinery of capitalism, a system devoid of inherent morals and existing solely to maximize profits for its shareholders.

      To me, the notion of "late stage" capitalism implies a bleak future fueled by the insatiable demand for constant and unsustainable growth. This, in turn, hampers our ability to effectively plan for the future, as investors prioritize immediate gains. Consequently, our planet suffers the repercussions through climate change and the exacerbation of wealth inequality.

      Moreover, the ruling of FEC vs Citizens United, wherein corporations were granted the ability to lobby as individuals, seems to have unleashed a relentless flywheel that perpetuates and nourishes the insatiable beast of capitalism and greed.

      I am genuinely intrigued by the perspectives of others on this topic. If we collectively recognize that we are heading in an unfavorable direction, what steps can we take to regain a more positive trajectory? How can we incentivize prioritizing moral values and environmental impact over monetary gains?

      101 votes
    28. How many ten-year-olds can you beat in a fight?

      Just wondering how many average 10 year olds you think you can fight off before being overwhelmed. Here are the basic terms of fighting: the kids are very angry at you, each one will fight you...

      Just wondering how many average 10 year olds you think you can fight off before being overwhelmed. Here are the basic terms of fighting: the kids are very angry at you, each one will fight you until they get hurt enough to quit or become unconscious, you are unarmed, and you are in a gated school playground as the battle arena. The playground is about 50 feet around, closed gate around in an octagon and closes up top like a dome. First one kid comes at you, then it adds one each time you defeat a group. Defeat 1 and 2 come, defeat the 2 then 3 come, and so on. Each group arrives by sliding down a pole into the middle playground and sliding down the slide. From there, they rush at you full force.

      I feel confident in my abilities to fight. I'm pretty sure I can get to group 13, so that would be roughly give or take 70 kids if I can take a few out in that round.

      What do you think?

      58 votes
    29. A brief thought on ā€œprestigiousā€ employers and ā€œcareer downgradesā€

      I currently work for a ā€œprestigiousā€ company (youā€™ve heard the name) and have for a few years now. As a college student, my peers, friends, and my parents friends kept telling me how jealous they...

      I currently work for a ā€œprestigiousā€ company (youā€™ve heard the name) and have for a few years now. As a college student, my peers, friends, and my parents friends kept telling me how jealous they were of me for getting into such a great company.

      I am quickly finding out that the ā€œprestigeā€ this company has was in reality really great marketing and that I do not particularly enjoy working there. I work way too much (12 hour days, 5am - 5pm are not uncommon) and I donā€™t like the toxic culture. It makes me anxious and depressed.

      Is it really worth it? Should I apply to the local government jobs that pay $20k less but offer actual pensions (not 401k), are chill (my friend does Azure/AWS trainings and scrolls Reddit, and 40 hours a week if that? Everyone I bring this up to says itā€™s a total career downgrade and a bad idea.

      43 votes
    30. What would be the absolute worst video game world to end up in?

      People often propose the question of if you were trapped in a video game world which would be best, but which one would be the absolute worst possible one. Really think about it too cause like...

      People often propose the question of if you were trapped in a video game world which would be best, but which one would be the absolute worst possible one. Really think about it too cause like being in like a zombie apocalypse or under a brutal dictatorship would be bad, but it could definitely get worse.

      36 votes
    31. Do you have an internal monologue? How do you think?

      Inspired by an old topic from 2021 on here: https://tild.es/uti How do you think? Have you ever thought about how you think? Do you have a voice in your head? Is it your own voice? Do you think in...

      Inspired by an old topic from 2021 on here: https://tild.es/uti
      How do you think?
      Have you ever thought about how you think?

      Do you have a voice in your head? Is it your own voice? Do you think in visuals? How strong are the visuals?

      Let's have a conversation about it. We all think differently!

      As an exercise, if I asked you to sit down and solve a cross word in silence, how would you think it through?

      Edit: thanks for all the very interesting and very insightful replies! I've been reading them today and I really appreciate everyone's input.

      63 votes
    32. Community organization brainstorming: decentralizing society

      What the recent Reddit protest cemented in my mind is how ineffective protest tends to be the larger and more entrenched an established order is. There's no real incentive to change because...

      What the recent Reddit protest cemented in my mind is how ineffective protest tends to be the larger and more entrenched an established order is. There's no real incentive to change because ultimately everyone knows that the protestors have little recourse.

      If you want to enact change, just trying to get people enraged and trying to get them to express that rage is not a great tactic. What you need as an alternative for people to go to instead, because that's the only real threat that matters to the establishment, the threat of being replaced.

      So to that end, I'd like to start a conversation about what it is that people need, and how we can arrange structures to get those things without needing to rely on external actors who don't have your interests at heart.

      For example, community mesh networks are a way of expanding internet into more of a public amenity so everyone can have access to it.

      Virtual power plants can allow communities to produce their own power reliably and reduce their reliance on major power providers.

      These are the kinds of things I am interested in. I feel that the most effective way to push back against profiteering corporations is to simply reduce our need for them in the first place.

      What are some good community oriented solutions to societal needs that you feel deserve more attention and interest?

      18 votes
    33. Did money buy you happiness?

      Conventional wisdom tells us money does not buy happiness, perhaps the opposite. "Studies" (don't quote me on this, just going off headlines/articles I've read) say happiness grows asymptotically...

      Conventional wisdom tells us money does not buy happiness, perhaps the opposite. "Studies" (don't quote me on this, just going off headlines/articles I've read) say happiness grows asymptotically and levels off around an income of 70k USD (perhaps more like 90k inflation adjusted?). I would be interested to know how any of this matches your personal experience. Has your happiness consistently grown with income? If so, where did that growth level off, if at all? And to what would you attribute it? better consumer goods, more security, more freedom...? Have any of you experienced a decrease in happiness associated with growing income? I eagerly await your thoughts!

      43 votes
    34. Is anyone else just fed up with companies being greedy?

      It feels like in the last few years so many companies are becoming incredibly greedy in a chance to try and raise profits and please the shareholders, companies hoping that people will comply as...

      It feels like in the last few years so many companies are becoming incredibly greedy in a chance to try and raise profits and please the shareholders, companies hoping that people will comply as they have no choice and give away more of their money to allow these companies to make record levels of profits.

      It seems like people are getting less and less and what they have left the companies just want more and more from everyone. I'm not referencing any specific company here but I have seen these trends in the last couple of years get a lot worse.

      Customer Impact

      • Raising prices there is some valid reasons to raise prices, but sometimes prices are raised just as a way to make more money quickly.
      • Quality reduction it feels like companies are asking more money for less quality goods more than ever.
      • Excessive manipulative marketing especially on social media and other playes which can misleed people.
      • Data explotation companies mis-using peoples data just so they can make some quick money.

      Employee Impact

      • Wage stagnation Despite the soaring profits many companies refusing to increase wages, leading to financial insecurity.
      • Unfair labor practices Companies expecting more from their employees for less money basically.
      • Job insecurity replacing workers with automation and outsourcing to cut costs.
      • Mental health high pressure enviroments to force profit-driven companies causing record levels of mental health issues.

      Society and Enviromental Impact

      • Polluting Companies prioritising profits over the enviroment leading to pollution, waste etc
      • Economic Inequality Coporate greed leading to income disparities, undermining social coheison.
      • Unfair influence on policy Companies using their power and wealth to influence policy making

      My question is, when is enough is enough? At what stage should something be done? Anything? to stop corporate greed from runing society?

      102 votes
    35. How do you imagine society would develop if dragons existed?

      Stories involving dragons tend to be in medieval periods so maybe we can try to extrapolate forward in time a bit. Dragons could be from any mythologies or fictions of your fancy! For my take, a...

      Stories involving dragons tend to be in medieval periods so maybe we can try to extrapolate forward in time a bit. Dragons could be from any mythologies or fictions of your fancy!

      For my take, a dragon is a flying fire-breathing giant lizard with the size and toughness of a big building. I believe a critical factor is how tamable dragons are. If not at all, they'd go from something humans fear and run away from, then being hunted for glory and materials, then being protected in conservation areas to prevent going extinct. If they can be fully domesticated (like dogs), they could expedite for warfare, transportation and industrialized metalwork. The most interesting scenario imo is the in-between where they could only be partially trained. Maybe a skilled trainer can get them to behave 80% of the time but there's a low but significant chance that they get agitated and wreck havoc. How do we make use of them while ensuring safety and intervenability?

      On the cultural side, we might not have as many myths and legends about dragons anymore. We might find the idea of giant flying fire creatures utterly mundane (phoenixes might be less interesting by relation even if they still don't exist in this universe). What would we mythologize about instead?

      14 votes
    36. Help me understand how I feel about a particular style of watch

      There's a type of watch that's very popular. It has a clean, clear, design. It's definitely a classic. I have mixed feelings about it because of the origins of the design. The watch is big. I has...

      There's a type of watch that's very popular. It has a clean, clear, design. It's definitely a classic. I have mixed feelings about it because of the origins of the design.

      The watch is big. I has a black dial with white numbers and index marks. At the 12 o'clock position there's a triangle. There's plenty of lume on the dial. They usually have a leather strap, and that strap often has two rivets.

      Sometimes the dial has two index rings, the inner ring has hour markings and the outer ring has minute markings.

      IWC makes the most well known example: https://www.iwc.com/en/watch-collections/pilot-watches/iw329301-big-pilots-watch-43.html

      There are lots of homages:

      https://whamond.com/products/laco-watch-pilot-original-heidelberg-39-862094?variant=20123598716982&currency=GBP&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=google+shopping&gclid=CjwKCAiAp7GcBhA0EiwA9U0mtgW5zl3U-UDVpOj2xzQugfY8gjG7C01nWLIjDNRRPNV9C5Ybim0tFRoCrtUQAvD_BwE

      https://www.jurawatches.co.uk/products/laco-watch-pilot-basic-aachen-42-861690-2?utm_medium=PPC&utm_campaign=Shopping&variant=10940401025060&sfdr_ptcid=3694_524_461850736&sfdr_hash=d57409f84f1ff15872832c2e5817a3ae&gclid=CjwKCAiAp7GcBhA0EiwA9U0mtpzVPcdQyfLtQzP4-E5jrfi5c7FKYtNrpJD8SnV0DqRqgYthNF70PBoCXgcQAvD_BwE

      https://shop.diywatch.club/products/new-arrival-diy-watchmaking-kit-f01-lite-vintage-pilot-watch-with-date?variant=42068938358997

      https://www.watchshop.com/watches/mens-sekonda-aviator-watch-3347.pdp

      https://mwcwatches.com/products/vintage-ww2-style-german-pilots-watch-1

      This style of watch is called "B Uhr", or "B Uhren"and you get many results if you use that search term. It's German, and it's an abbreviation for "Beobachtungs-uhren" which means "observation watch".

      My problem with the watch is that is that it was specifically designed for the Luftwaffe in WW2.

      https://monochrome-watches.com/the-history-of-the-pilot-watch-part-five-b-uhr/

      After the war other airforces, including the British RAF, started using very similar watches.

      Most watch sellers do not celebrate the Nazi history of the watch. But some do: https://b-uhr.com/en/collection/b-uhr-luftwaffe-flieger-chronograph.html

      So, I don't know how I feel about this watch. Can its clean design be appreciated when I know of its Nazi link? Can I separate the creator from the product?

      8 votes
    37. Talk to me about: Impulse control

      What is your personal impulse control like? Do you have good impulse control overall? Do you have an addictive personality? Where does it fail? Anything youā€™re particularly proud or ashamed of?

      14 votes
    38. Where are you in a scale that goes from maximalism to minimalism including everything in between? Artistically and cognitively, are you drawn towards complexity or simplicity?

      Do you thrive on chaos or structure? Are your personal spaces clean or populated by all kinds or objects? Do you wear bright colors or white shirt and jeans? Do you prefer fast cuts or meditative...

      Do you thrive on chaos or structure? Are your personal spaces clean or populated by all kinds or objects? Do you wear bright colors or white shirt and jeans? Do you prefer fast cuts or meditative editing? Probability or deduction? Heidegger or Russel? BuƱuel or Buster Keaton? Lynch or Spielberg? Godart or Hitchcock? John Lennon or Paul McCartney? A party or a small gathering? A lot or just a little?

      :)

      9 votes
    39. What have you learned from working in tech?

      Question is for our users here who work/worked in the tech industry (in any capacity) or in a techy position in any industry. What have you learned? How did it change you? Previous questions in...

      Question is for our users here who work/worked in the tech industry (in any capacity) or in a techy position in any industry.

      What have you learned?
      How did it change you?


      Previous questions in series:

      What have you learned from...
      ...being a parent?
      ...going through a breakup?
      ...moving to a new place?

      These threads remain open, so feel free to comment on old ones if you have something to add!

      26 votes
    40. Is it just me or did the edgy socialism that blew up during the pandemic kind of die down?

      This might just be because of the change Iā€™ve made in my online behavior, but itā€™s something Iā€™ve been thinking about for a while. Iā€™ve talked many many times about my long stint on Twitter....

      This might just be because of the change Iā€™ve made in my online behavior, but itā€™s something Iā€™ve been thinking about for a while.

      Iā€™ve talked many many times about my long stint on Twitter. Specifically the brief stint where I was highly active on leftist twitter from early to mid 2020 (where I managed to get around two thousand followers which seems crazy to me now considering Iā€™m just a random guy). Back then tensions were high. People were getting laid off, high profile civil rights protests were happening, and there was nothing much to do but to be online. Personally my internship I had lined up during the summer (since I was just about to graduate college) ended up getting cancelled which led me to a period of depression. Itā€™s also the reason I started spending so much time on Twitter and what led me to drink heavily and gain a bunch of weight. I imagine a lot of people who became extremely online during this period were in similar boats.

      Anyways, I made a couple of online friends during this time period. It initially started as ā€œBernieā€ or ā€œRoseā€ twitter. We were all pretty normal social democrats supporting Sanders for the presidency (which before Super Tuesday seemed like a big possibility). And then when it became clear that Biden would be the democratic nominee, a lot of people ended up going to the dark side. They started using hammer and sickle emojis on their display name. Started talking about how they were going to read Marx and Lenin (but they never did). They started making memes about how awesome Castro and Mao were. Bios went from ā€œBernieOrBustā€ to ā€œMarixst-Leninist-Maoist.ā€

      A lot of talk started happening of ā€œgrow your own garden the end of the world is nearā€ and also ā€œarm yourselves comrades the class war is among us.ā€ Somehow everyone became very fond of the second amendment. There were twitter accounts LARPing about joining the Socialist Rifle Association, e-girls were taking provocative pictures of themselves posing with automatic rifles in front of a Soviet flag. It became a whole thing. Some of this online behavior was covered in articles like The Cut's Before We Make Out, Wanna Dismantle Capitalism?

      I ended up disconnecting from all this around September/October of 2020. I actually ended up voting for Biden in November which I wasnā€™t planning on when I was addicted to Twitter. I go a little bit into this detox here.

      Fast forward to this year. A wave of mass shootings happen. Something that used to be a normal thing pre-pandemic but which stopped/slowed down thanks to lockdowns and schools remaining closed. With all of this in the news again, I start thinking back to the friends I used to have. And their gun loving, revolutionary wanting, ā€œlibs get the bullet tooā€ type of tweets that they were writing back in 2020. I donā€™t remember most of them let alone their names. But I do remember a few.

      I look them up. And there are dozens of tweets about the need for gun control. Theyā€™re talking about how nobody actually needs guns, and all of the typical liberal arguments in favor of gun control. A stark contrast to what they were saying before. They still have ā€œsocialistā€ in their display names and bios, though from the retweets I saw of them they were no longer following the ā€œMao is coolā€ type of people. For lack of a better term, they calmed down. They donā€™t long for a revolution to happen. They donā€™t want blood on the streets.

      I think what had happened is that they all forgot what mass shootings were. How destructive they were. And now that society is mostly back to normal, including mass shootings, they remembered what that was like.

      Now this is too niche of a corner on twitter to talk about in terms of larger online behavior. But back in 2020, I did predict that when Biden became president a lot of these online socialists would retreat into the liberals that they used to be. And it seems like that has happened, at least to some extent.

      I mean, Iā€™m glad for them. They seem more balanced, and itā€™s good that they eventually found themselves like I did (even if I did it a little quicker than they did). But it is still an interesting progression that a lot of my former online friends took.

      12 votes
    41. Atheism and moral realism/objectivism?

      *Disclaimer: I am not an apologist, theologian, or a philosopher, just someone interested in the topic. Perhaps this could've been asked in r/AskPhilosophy or maybe even r/changemyview, but I...

      *Disclaimer: I am not an apologist, theologian, or a philosopher, just someone interested in the topic. Perhaps this could've been asked in r/AskPhilosophy or maybe even r/changemyview, but I figure the conversation might be good here

      The recent post here on Absurd Trolley Problems has had me thinking about ethics again, and I realized I've never been introduced to how one can be an atheist and be not only a moral objectivist, but a moral realist. I remember a debate I watched years ago with William Lane Craig and Christopher Hitchens where Craig asks Hitchens what the basis of morality is, and he acts insulted, insinuating that Craig intended to say that atheists couldn't "be good without God" (which I think became a famous moment for the both of them.)

      But I never got the answer to Craig's question that I wanted. Without God, how should we determine what moral facts there are? How should we determine if there are moral facts at all? I grew up in a fundamentalist religion, and found myself in adulthood deeply interested in apologetics, and see similar responses in debates to the one mentioned above. Now while I believe Hitchens was a moral relativist, I often see and hear cases where atheists do seem to want to say that [insert atrocity here] was objectively morally wrong. Can atheists reasonably claim that there are not only moral facts, but objective moral facts that they can access? Upon examination, aren't you ultimately required to derive an "ought" from an "is"?

      I skimmed The Moral Landscape by Sam Harris some years ago, and it seems to "avoid" (i.e. commit) the "is/ought" fallacy by simply declaring that "human flourishing" (however that may be defined, separate issue) is an irreducible "ought" in his eyes. The book is great, I think that science should be part of the discussion about how one ought to live their life if the goal is some end like human flourishing; doctors already give prescriptions for behavior based on a presupposed goal between both parties to promote health and well-being. Both of these necessarily presuppose a state of affairs that one "ought" to seek to attain.

      But none of this answers why one "ought" to do anything; sure, there are facts about what one "ought" to do in order to attain a state of affairs, but that isn't morality: that's true of any subject where two people agree to share a goal. It doesn't tell us why they should have that goal. None of this feels like a satisfying answer to the question Craig posed. I don't feel like I'm any closer to these objective moral facts.

      I should say this topic is really meaningful to me. I've thought a lot about veganism, and the suffering of non-human animals. I've thought about the impact of my consumption decisions instead of perpetually leaning on the "no ethical consumption" crutch (even though there are reasons why that would have merit in certain circumstances. I literally can't stop thinking about climate change and how powerless, yet simultaneously complicit I feel. I've read Peter Singer, Scripture, Kant, John Stewart Mill, Rawls, and works from many others, and can't find any reason for an atheist (and maybe even a theist?) to think that there are these moral facts at all, much less objective, accessible ones. This really leaves me with "I guess I should just do whatever it is that I feel like doing", which probably seems to you as unsatisfying as it was for me to type.

      14 votes
    42. Should superpowers announce?

      like, say I've invented a magic trick that I don't know how it's done. What is my moral obligation to report novel phenomena? If a divine singularity spontaneously opens up in my living room, or...

      like, say I've invented a magic trick that I don't know how it's done. What is my moral obligation to report novel phenomena? If a divine singularity spontaneously opens up in my living room, or in my kidney, and somehow I harness it and taught myself to fly -- do I have to tell people, or do we think it would be too scary? It seems really obscene and disruptive to announce something so premise-shattering. Shouldn't I labor in secrecy? Do I have to expose my abilities to some sort of mandate before I can start?

      11 votes
    43. Megathread: April Fools' Day 2022 on the internet

      As is tradition, here's the (late) thread to collect this year's April Fools' events: Over the next day or so, the internet will be filled with jokes, pranks, fake "announcements" from companies,...

      As is tradition, here's the (late) thread to collect this year's April Fools' events:

      Over the next day or so, the internet will be filled with jokes, pranks, fake "announcements" from companies, fun interactive activities, games, and so on. A lot of these can be quite clever and interesting so I think posting about them in general is fine, but in the interest of preventing them from completely taking over Tildes, let's try to keep as many of them restricted to this thread as possible. Ideally, a separate top-level comment for each individual item would be good.

      If something particularly discussion-worthy comes up (like an ARG or activity that a lot of people want to talk about), a separate thread is reasonable, but please make sure it has the "april fools day" tag. That way, if anyone wants to avoid seeing the April Fools' Day threads, they can use the topic tag filters and filter that tag out.

      I'm going to use the "official" styling for this topic (that's usually only for ~tildes.official topics) to make it stand out more to try to encourage people to notice it. If you notice people making individual topics for April Fools' Day things that don't really warrant their own topic, please (nicely) encourage them to delete and post in here instead.

      34 votes