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8 votes
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The Fed thinks catastrophe is coming for US businesses
15 votes -
The catastrophe no one talks about
4 votes -
Alan Arkin dies: Oscar-winning actor was 89
25 votes -
Italian soccer players banned from wearing No. 88 on jerseys in campaign against antisemitism
15 votes -
How did you handle coming out?
Coming out is a different experience for everyone, for some it's a fraught and stressful experience, for others it's an easy and smooth process. People react differently to the news, geography and...
Coming out is a different experience for everyone, for some it's a fraught and stressful experience, for others it's an easy and smooth process.
People react differently to the news, geography and demographics can play into the likelihood of a negative reaction, so many factors that can be difficult to handle or worry about.
So how did you go about it and how did it go?
How have things been since and is there anything you'd do differently?
For me personally (a trans woman) it's a long and ongoing process. I first came out to my best friend in 2018, she's trans just like me so it was easy and she and I were always very close and trusting. We've since started a relationship and are now engaged. I literally just spoke to her and talked about my feelings and she accepted me immediately.
Next was my mum, my family are friendly and loving but none of us are overly close or open about our feelings with each other, I have a long history of anxiety which created a barrier for me coming out, I don't think I came out to my mum until either late 2019 or early 2020. She was in the living room on her own and I asked to speak, we sat down and had a heart to heart and she was understanding and supportive, though she didn't know much about trans people. Things seemed fine initially but a few days later when she picked me up form work she broke down in the car crying, saying how it's a big change and how she felt like she was losing her son. It was a lot, more than I could handle and this may be selfish of me, but it was the opposite of what I needed at a time when I was feeling very fragile. We talked more and she came around and has since been very supportive and helped me a lot.
Other family members I never really formally came out to, but folks have slowly cottoned on to what's happening and it hasn't been an issue.
Work however is a different situation. That aforementioned anxiety has prevented me from coming out to this day. In work I hide my feminine features and pretend I'm a guy. It's getting harder by the day to hide it but not knowing how folks will react is worrying. Legally I'll be protected from harm, but socially this could ostracise me from my colleagues. I live in the UK and anti-trans rhetoric has been on the rise in recent years, and if the folks I work with directly don't take it well, while they couldn't openly discriminate, they could make my work life unpleasant and difficult. It'll have to happen eventually (possibly soon) but I'm putting it off until the last possible moment. The fear is paralysing.
On the topic of work, at my last employer I did come out to my two closest colleagues privately, they're still my friends to this day and have had no issues. It was difficult, my heart was pounding and we were saying farewell to another colleague who had been a strong LGBT+ ally in the workplace, it felt like the right time and things worked out well, there were hugs all around which was honestly a far better reaction than I could've hoped for.
So for me, to this day I'm still coming out, slowly, one step at a time. I'd probably do it differently if I could go back, just rip off the whole thing with everyone at once, but that would rely on me being braver than I actually am. The approach I have taken however has been safe and cautious, and has mostly worked out for me.
Apologies for the long story! I'd love to hear all of yours.
31 votes -
Five locally transmitted cases of Malaria in USA, first since early 2000s
20 votes -
US lifts human rights violation designation on Ethiopia
11 votes -
Ironmaster is having a 15% off sale July 4-5
Ironmaster has well regarded adjustable weight dumbbells, among other equipment. They are pricey so I've been eagerly awaiting this sale. If you have a home gym it's definitely worth checking out....
Ironmaster has well regarded adjustable weight dumbbells, among other equipment. They are pricey so I've been eagerly awaiting this sale. If you have a home gym it's definitely worth checking out.
It's not advertised on their website, but I got a marketing email about it. Anyone know of any other fitness retailer that will have any sales this weekend?
4 votes -
LGBT introductions thread: What's your story?
Back when Tildes was in cozy mode we had a small contingent of LGBT users across the site who all pretty much came to know each other over time. Now that we're undergoing a huge influx of users...
Back when Tildes was in cozy mode we had a small contingent of LGBT users across the site who all pretty much came to know each other over time. Now that we're undergoing a huge influx of users though, there are so many new names
and faces! I'd love for everyone to get to know everyone, but rather than just sharing how you identify, I'd love this to be a place where people can share their story -- the road of how you arrived at being the person you are and identify as.So, feel free to share as much of your story as you are comfortable with, and feel free to change/omit any identifying details if maintaining your personal privacy is important to you.
Also, a note to new users: a few years ago we had a vote to determine whether we should change the name of the group from ~lgbt to something else like ~lgbtq or ~queer. The vote came out in favor of keeping it as ~lgbt, but opted to add text to the description of the group clarifying that it is inclusive:
The umbrella term "LGBT" includes all minority sexualities and gender identities. Everybody is welcome to participate.
So, even if your identity is not included in the LGBT initialism, this is still a space for you! If you're ace, pan, intersex, gender non-conforming, gender fluid, non-binary, or any of the other many identities that fall under the LGBT umbrella, this is your community too. Even if you're not sure yet -- that's okay too! We're happy to have you here.
Also, to users who are cis/straight and are still subscribed to ~lgbt, you're welcome here too. We love our allies!
72 votes -
“Mission: Accepted!”: Margot Robbie, Greta Gerwig follow Tom Cruise in cross-promoting movies
7 votes -
Several Muslim-majority countries have condemned the burning of a copy of the Quran at a protest in the Swedish capital
12 votes -
Pikmin 4 | Overview trailer
20 votes -
Charli XCX - Speed Drive (from Barbie The Movie) (2023)
3 votes -
Dominik Szoboszlai: Liverpool in talks to sign RB Leipzig midfielder
9 votes -
US District Court Judge dismisses Hans Niemann's $100 million lawsuit against Magnus Carlsen, among others, in chess cheating scandal
15 votes -
Gog, Steam and Epic deals and free games
Gog are currently with a summer sale, what are good deals that you have found? For me Disco Elysium is at 10€
32 votes -
Is there another Wagner insurrection coming?
25 votes -
On the e-girl army psyop phenomenon
18 votes -
Share some of the bookmarklets you use
javascript:window.location='[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=UU%27+ytInitialData.metadata.channelMetadataRenderer.externalId.substring(2)](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=UU%27+ytInitia...
javascript:window.location='[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=UU%27+ytInitialData.metadata.channelMetadataRenderer.externalId.substring(2)](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=UU%27+ytInitialData.metadata.channelMetadataRenderer.externalId.substring(2)
This puts every video of a channel into one playlist. Makes listening to music channels so much easier.
I also use Pilgrim.
P.S. https://tildes.net/~tech/10ko/little_12ft_io_bookmarklet
6 votes -
The real reasons you shouldn’t clone your dog
14 votes -
League of Legends patch 13.13 notes
7 votes -
Has anyone tried 4DX movies?
Apparently, it's like 3D D-Box but with atmospheric effects, scents and even leg ticklers.
15 votes -
After fifteen years, pulsar timing yields evidence of cosmic gravitational wave background
42 votes -
Tildes CSS and Android accessibility
Hi all. On my Pixel phone I have the accessibility option for font size and display size turned up a notch or two but noticed that not all of the text in Tildes adheres to this. Some front page...
Hi all. On my Pixel phone I have the accessibility option for font size and display size turned up a notch or two but noticed that not all of the text in Tildes adheres to this. Some front page topic text is bigger, some of them remain small.
Is this something that can be quickly tested and fixed if it's a bug? It might drive poor sighted people away from the site.
I'm assuming it's not me, as my Pixel 7 is quite new .... but I am on the Android beta program.
Can anyone else try and see if it's a localised issue or more global?
I can post screen shots of needed but not sure what image sharing sites you prefer to use in here!
Edit:
Fixed with a chrome flag....
the text-scaling is being replaced by the "Accessibility Page Zoom" feature (currently hidden behind the feature flag in chrome://flags)
23 votes -
What are you reading these days?
What are you reading currently? Fiction or non-fiction or poetry, any genre, any language! Tell us what you're reading, and talk about it a bit.
74 votes -
An update on Canada’s Bill C-18 and our Search and News products
7 votes -
Alfred the Great against the Vikings: How realistic is England in CK3?
7 votes -
The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe is out now!
@Crows Crows Crows: The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe is out now!We're grateful for your patience and beyond excited for you to experience it.https://t.co/VpeLrCXr5n
18 votes -
The Javascript Gom Jabbar
7 votes -
Wolfgang Van Halen - Distance (2021)
4 votes -
Any astrophotographers here? Share some nebula and galaxy shots!
12 votes -
Should we be going back and editing games for content that doesn't fit with a modern viewpoint?
Thinking about the recent incident where the devs for Skullgirls (current devs, not original devs) went and changed a bunch of artwork and other content for the fighting game, which released in...
Thinking about the recent incident where the devs for Skullgirls (current devs, not original devs) went and changed a bunch of artwork and other content for the fighting game, which released in 2012 after being Kickstarted. Aside from removing the sexualized imagery of an underage character, probably a good call, what about the other things they've decided are in 'poor taste' in 2023?
Should we be going back and editing games, or even movies, tv shows, and books to reflect more modern sensibilities? Is a game like Skullgirls even worth preserving its original content?
My opinion is no, unless it's something that is now illegal, I don't really enjoy the precedent that's been set lately where we go back and correct past mistakes in media. However, I also see the argument about removing media that may encourage racist or sexist thinking or put down minorities, but is it useful to see the media as it was and see how far we've come? Is that useful enough? Should only the original creators make that decision?
Just thought this was interesting. Tag as desired.
48 votes -
Advice getting rid of Zoom trolls?
So I am a member of a social/hobby group that has been doing hybrid meetings with some people attending via zoom. We have picked up a troll who finds a way to join the meeting, waits about fifteen...
So I am a member of a social/hobby group that has been doing hybrid meetings with some people attending via zoom. We have picked up a troll who finds a way to join the meeting, waits about fifteen minutes then starts yelling expletives and insults until he is expelled. He doesn't rejoin until the next meeting.
We are not particularly tech oriented people, and I don't personally organize the zoom link so don't have much knowledge about what is currently being done re security.
Does anyone have tips or advice? I know I haven't given you a lot to work with. Thanks.
13 votes -
Questions for SodaStream users
My wife is thinking about purchasing a soda stream or similar variant for Amazon prime day. I would like to hear the pros and cons of owning one. Are there any costs of ownership that were not...
My wife is thinking about purchasing a soda stream or similar variant for Amazon prime day. I would like to hear the pros and cons of owning one. Are there any costs of ownership that were not apparent? I don't want to buy another kitchen appliance only to stop using it because we couldn't keep up with the maintenance or other required issues. We do buy regularly la croix like drinks from Costco so if there is truly a cost savings that would be great. Thanks for everyone's time and opinion.
Edit: Wow thanks everyone for the responses and insight. I will have to sit down later and work through the posts. I know I will have more questions.
21 votes -
Castlevania - The power of persuasion: The changing of Isaac's worldview
10 votes -
‘Extreme threat’: Large swathe of southern US at dangerous ‘wet bulb temperature’
26 votes -
Solar storm risks and the threat of large-scale internet outage examined
12 votes -
Plex lays off more than 20% of staff
38 votes -
A social network for AI
12 votes -
SEC charges former DWAC board member and others for insider trading in DWAC securities
6 votes -
Over $200 billion potentially stolen from COVID-19 relief programs in US
12 votes -
Chocolate chips wouldn't melt?
I make candy as a hobby, but don't usually mess with chocolate because I know it can be finicky af. I decided to try making some peanut butter cups as it seemed easy enough, but the stupid...
I make candy as a hobby, but don't usually mess with chocolate because I know it can be finicky af. I decided to try making some peanut butter cups as it seemed easy enough, but the stupid chocolate chips would not melt. They went from hard to a chalky mess immediately. I was microwaving them on 30 second intervals at 50% power. I made sure my bowl and spoon I was using to mix were completely dry. Is it because they were sitting opened for a while? I don't know what they want from me
11 votes -
4.6 magnitude earthquake near Rawson, Victoria, Australia
12 votes -
2,200 forgotten vintage computers are being liberated from a barn in Massachusetts
25 votes -
Antitrust case - Will the US Microsoft Activision merger go through?
12 votes -
Why are these external SSDs so different in price?
I'm talking about this 2 TB LaCie Portable SSD and this Samsung T7 2 TB SSD. They both have the same ~1 GB/s read-write speed, the same 3-year limited warranty, and the same USB 3.2 Gen2...
I'm talking about this 2 TB LaCie Portable SSD and this Samsung T7 2 TB SSD. They both have the same ~1 GB/s read-write speed, the same 3-year limited warranty, and the same USB 3.2 Gen2 connector. But the LaCie drive is $369, while the Samsung drive is $130.
Am I missing something? Or is it just luxury tax?6 votes -
San Antonio lays groundwork for downtown-to-airport transit line
11 votes -
Roadmap.sh - community-built interactive roadmaps, guides and educational content for developers
11 votes -
Sony’s confidential PlayStation secrets just spilled because of a Sharpie
49 votes