I have been playing Pikmin 2 on Dolphin and have been enjoying it quite a lot.

For the most part, progress has been slow, but today I found the blue Pikmin (I somehow managed to find the yellow ones first and played a bunch of the game without the blue ones), and that just got me so excited that I basically completed Valley of Repose in just one day (the two remaining, farthest caves and every treasure above ground). I’m on day 13 now, have over 90% of the debt paid off, and not a single Pikmin has died on me.

You don’t need to understand the previous paragraph if you don’t know anything about Pikmin. My point is that I’ve been playing through the game rather fast and better than I would on real hardware.

Why?

Save states. ❤️

I love emulation, but I don’t like how “janky” it can be. I don’t like that it doesn’t 100% emulate (pun intended) the “feel” of playing on original hardware.

But boy, oh boy, do I loooooove save states. 🥰

They enhance the gameplay experience so much for me. They enable me to have perfect playthroughs, both in terms of the game’s objectives, as well as my play style (like me not wanting to sacrifice any of my Pikmin, for example).

Do save states make the games too easy at times? Perhaps.

But that’s the point for me.

You see, I don’t want video games to challenge me.

Life already challenges me enough as it is.

I play video games for fun, and I’m not having fun if I’m struggling too much to beat a video game. When I finally beat a difficult challenge in a game, especially if I had to struggle to do so, then I feel frustrated more than I feel that I achieved something.

Is my dislike of challenges, whether in real life or in video games a character defect? A sign of weakness?

Perhaps.

I do face challenges in real life. I have to, or else I won’t survive.

But when I come home and sit down to play a video game, I want it to be a fun and chill experience. I want to feel like a champ who breezes through the game. I also don’t want to waste too much time trying to beat one overly-difficult game, but rather experience as many different games as I can.

Life is too short and I don’t want mine to be wasted by challenging video games.

I have nothing but mad respect for you if you play video games for the challenge, but that just ain’t me.

As one of my favorite YouTubers Mr. Sujano would say: “Don’t temp fate, save your state.”

Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

Hello tilderinos! I'm currently on the hunt for a new job, and it's been a very long time since I've had to do any kind of real interviewing to compete for a position. I'm looking for some general tips and, if anyone is experienced in the field of education, tips specific to teacher interviews.

My strengths in interviews are that I'm generally a confident speaker, I know my field well, keep pace with recent developments, and have an enormous amount of experience to draw from.

My weaknesses are that I tend to ramble (adhd!), I lose track of multi part questions (adhd strikes again!), and I'm terrible at quickly recalling specific examples from my mountain of experience. I also feel that, especially when interviewing for positions a bit outside my experience (Eg a 2nd grade teaching position) I come across as naive at best and ignorant at worst.

I also generally have a hard time selling myself with words. I'm very much a man of action, and would love to demonstrate my skill firsthand, but that isn't terribly easy to do in an interview setting.

I hope this topic isn't too selfish of me and I appreciate any feedback I get! Thank you all.

Apologies if I've chosen the wrong topic for this one. My request is broad, so I'm not sure where it should go. Could have fit into an "education" topic, but that doesn't exist so… 🤷‍♂️

I stumbled onto the Manga Guide to Databases, and I'm having a lot of fun reading through it. It's reminded me of other media that is explicitly designed to teach a topic in a fun way. A few examples that stand out:

• The Little Schemer (book)- Teaches recursion in a really intuitive way through a narrative.
• Go! Go! Nippon! ~My First Trip to Japan~ (game)- Teaches you about Japan and Japanese culture through a visual novel.
• How Heavy Are the Dumbbells You Lift? (anime/manga)- Does more storytelling than teaching, but there's still a fair bit of teaching in here about how to get started working out

I really enjoy this kind of media, and I'd like to find more of it. What other media have you found that fits this description? Topic and medium doesn't matter as long as the delivery is effective. I don't even care if the media seems designed explicitly to teach the topic or if learning is just a pleasant side-effect of engaging with it.

A while back I read an article about the development of a new Digg platform.

I signed up for an email list about new developments. I got invited to pay $5 USD to join a forum to see updates on their efforts and give suggestions.

I've been advocating for not implementing downvoting.

My reasoning is that having just upvotes like Tildes serves the original purpose of voting on content. It moves the better content towards the top and the poorer content towards the bottom. Downvoting at least on Reddit just becomes a middle finger for most cases.

I was surprised how many other people at this special forum were AGAINST that idea. They really want to be able to give people a middle finger.

Sadly, I saw a preview of the U.I. today and at least for new threads it had a "bury" link.

Oh well. I tried!

Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

Im just kind of done with Windows and 10 has been stable, but 11 seems to be even more intrusive and I find all the AI 'assistance' to be incredibly annoying. Im just kind of done with MS and Office and I want to try something else.

I dont have many needs. I run LibreOffice spreadsheet and word processor and the only other software I need to work is CORELdraw and CORELpaint as I still do a fair bit of design work on them and Ive been using them for 30 years so I dont want to switch. Other than that its just browsing (Firefox), email (Thunderbird) and TurboTax.

My question is how do I know whats going to work until I try it? And which version of Linux is easiest and most stable? I dont want to have to keep upgrading, I just want a stable usable fairly easy to learn OS that works with what Ive got as Im unlikely to be changing much. Suggestions?

I was reminded this morning of the video in which a physical education teacher is performing a workout dance routine in Myanmar, not realizing that she captured the start of the 2021 coup d'état in the background.

She's wearing a covid mask, dancing to an incredibly upbeat and catchy song while the military vehicles roll in to crush their democracy. I can't recall where I saw this, but I will never forget the comment someone left online about the video which read, "This is decadently post-modern."

To make it even more interesting, the song itself is a parody of authority. It's essentially a song mocking weak men with big egos, and the song title translates roughly to, "Have Mercy, Mr. Tough Guy/Big Shot"

Link to video

What other insane things do we have in 2025 as a result of ubiquitous high-definition cameras?

It may surprise you to hear that ever since the tender ages of 15 to 16 (2004 to 2005) I have tried to “become famous” on the Internet.

Why? I don’t know. I just wanted to. I wanted people to hear my opinions on the Internet and praise me for sharing them.

I tried pretty much everything: blogging, YouTube, social media, you name it. Content that I made ranged from commentary, to news, gaming, music, cooking, etc. All my projects “failed” (or rather, they didn’t grow as fast as I expected them to, so I gave up). I’m talking hundreds of attempts.

Then in late 2023, I made a New Year’s resolution for 2024 to fully delete Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, 9gag, and Reddit. My resolution worked and it changed my life.

A lot of people in my social circle have since begun telling me that I have this talent or that talent, and that I should monitize it by growing a following on social media. I have ignored all of them, despite spending a good 20 years trying to do exactly that. Here’s why:

• The first and foremost reason is that I don’t want to wrestle with algorithms and follow trends. It seems that it’s almost impossible to grow a following on the Internet these days without doing that, unless you get very lucky growing a following organically, which only very few people do. Chasing algorithms and trends is not fun, and if I’m not having fun with what do with my spare time, then I don’t want to do it at all. I’ve also come to hate creating video content for some reason. I just find it tedious.
• Over the years, I feel that I have become afraid of getting lucky and becoming successful. It seems to me that the people who live off creating content for the Internet, don’t ever get a break. Their followers demand a steady stream of content, and if you don’t keep vying for their attention, then they’ll go give it to someone else and you’re suddenly left without any income. I know that many creators work seven days a week.
• This leads me to the problem of “attention”: I don’t want to compete for people’s attention anymore. I hate the whole concept of the “attention economy”. It’s so insane to me that the survival of so many hundreds of million of people depends of how much human attention their work gets. And I’m not talking just about social media now, but entertainment in general. There are only so many humans, and they have a limited amount of time during the day that they can offer attention to entertainment to (be it social media, TV, movies, music, games, you name it). I think that these business models are not sustainable. There are also too many “things” for us to pay attention to these days and I feel like it’s driving us all insane. I’ve been intentionally trying to pay attention to as few things as I possibly can for a while now and it has significantly reduces my anxiety and FOMO. It’s given me a lot of peace. So, I don’t want to contribute to this “evil” myself.
• The Internet has become a dangerous place. Even people who publish otherwise completely innocuous content get sometimes harassed or doxxed. Streamers get SWATed. Women get the brunt of it (I think) because sexual harassment and deepfake porn has become so prevalent, and they can do nothing to protect themselves. Everything you publish anywhere can and will be used against you (including by potential employers). Being “unknown” and “staying in your lane” seems to be about the only way that you can stay safe these days.
• I also just don’t want the endless scrutiny that comes with fame, the expectation that my personality can’t change, that opinions can’t be nuanced, and that I squarely fit into either the “blue box” or the “red box” (in whatever aspect, since every field of opinion these days seems to be thoroughly divided in half). Whatever opinion people share online, even the most trivial, can and will be misinterpreted by bad faith actors and trolls to just mentally crush you.
• I have come to think that dying in anonymity, while leaving no legacy behind, is actually not a bad thing. I mean, it’s a “natural” thing. It’s what happens to the vast majority of humans anyway. Why should I be so afraid of that? Afraid of living my life in the peace of anonymity? There are plenty of ways to live a meaningful life that don’t involve becoming famous on the Internet, or famous at all.

I regret arriving at this conclusion now only. I had so much trouble in my short and fruitless life because of stuff that I posted on the Internet (talking about Facebook and my social circle more specifically). I could have avoided all of that. I could also not have wasted so much time entertaining ideas of online grandeur, blowing away countless hours of my pitiful existence on projects that never amounted to anything, and instead, gotten an education, so that I wouldn’t be living in poverty now.

Oh, well. It is what it is. Better learning now than never.

I’m not sure why I ever wanted to be famous on the Internet to begin with, or what made me think that there’s any inherent worth in getting online praise just for sharing my mediocre opinions. Maybe I’m mentally ill. Maybe I’m traumatized. Maybe this is something that I should consult a therapist over. However, what I do know, is that I’m done with pursuing online fame.

I think that the Internet as it is today, flipped some sort of switch in people’s brain (including mine), which convinced us that it is normal to chase fame because the means to get there are so readily available. I don’t know how the Internet could have been designed differently to prevent this, but “giving a voice to everyone” was, in hindsight, maybe a badly implemented idea.

I’d be surprised to hear that any of you here have been trying to become famous on the Internet, but if you have, then I’d like to hear about your experience, and your opinions on this topic in general.

I have grown fond of this community. But I can’t help but feel sad that I lack this connection in my flesh life.

So, how would I meet you out in the world ? When I wrack my brain I can only imagine I’d meet some of you at school, or in some cases, work ?

I don’t even know how to tell someone to meet me lol. I am pretty encouraging, so I guess if you just even make a tiny mention you want me to take interest, I will. I have met friends playing sports and in school and working. And online.

It's been a long time since I've done any "serious" programming, but I have long held a desire to recreate an app that's been out of development for a decade, and I reckon I'd do fine if given the right direction.

Googling for this gives me either "no code" platforms, which is zero of the fun and basically what I do at work, or documentation that has skipped the first ten steps because it assumes you know the prerequisites already. Help?

That is such an infinite subject that a lot of people are passionate about. It could easily be a scheduled post. So this time I am the one doing it. Any misconception is welcome as long as it is something you genuinely care about!

I don't think I've installed an update on my phone and felt like it was an improvement over the old version.

Samsung just pushed their new firmware onto my phone and added a whole bunch of annoying AI stuff that I don't want and additionally decided for me that I no longer want the bluetooth signal in the statusbar unless I open up the notification menu, with no way to reenable it. I turn off my headphones when I don't need them and it was really useful to see at a glance that if they were connected and I had forgotten to turn them off.

I'm writing this as a way to, I guess, journal my thoughts but also share my experience, here's hoping it makes an interesting read. Sorry in advance if this feels disjointed or disorganized, I'm writing as I go.

So for those of you that don't know, today there was a massive blackout in Iberia and some regions of France, and it was a total blackout. Over 60 million people were affected.

The causes are still unclear, but it appears that it was due to a rare meteorological event that took out a high voltage line. This line distabilized all of the grid and took out the power. As far as we know, there was no cyber attack or anything of the sort.

Anyway, here's how things went down for me.

Today I woke up at 8:00 in the morning, went to work as usual. In my office, we had a completely normal morning as usual. But then, around 11:30, power goes out. Our monitors stopped working, lights shut down, ventilation system turned off, the whole shebang.

I thought, "just another blackout, should come back any moment". But then, my colleague sitting on my side, was on a call with someone in Porto - we were in another city - and that the power there was also out. (our wifi had UPS, so we had internet for a while).

While very rare, it actually wasn't the first time that this happened. Last year we had an outage that took out several regions in Portugal. So I thought, "again? Weird."

People started talking to each other, calling friends and family to ask them if they also had the outage. And sure enough, all of them did. Soon enough we started to find out that even Lisbon and Algarve were missing power, so it was a national outage.

Cellular data still worked, I started refreshing all the news websites that I knew of and checking r/portugal on reddit. These moments were... Not unnerving per se, but worrisome. Never in my life I experienced something like this.

Some news started coming in, but none of them mentioned anything that we already didn't know. Just that there was a outage and that there wasn't a lot of information about it.

Comments on reddit started saying that this outage was also international, that regions in Spain were affected. Soon after, also France. Then some also said that it happened in Germany, Switzerland, Belgium and Italy.

Soon after, it dropped, and I paraphrase the title of the news: "Outage in Europe. Military personnel summoned".

My dudes, the brainstorm and red flags that went in my head at this moment...... I kept my cool and tried to stay calm, but internally I was going at 300 km/h. The only logical conclusion at this time was "Russia is f*cking invading us".

Didn't help that, at this time, there still wasn't any confirmations if it was a cyber attack or not, so all the possibilities were on the table as far as I was concerned.

I kept refreshing, waiting for the page to update with more information, while hanging out with my colleagues. After a short while, around 12:30 - I think - there were confirmations that it wasn't a cyber attack, but instead a technical incident. The comments and reports were all over the place, some said it was a fire in France, then an airplane that crashed, then it was something in Spain, etc etc. So I decided to tune everything out and only use that page as SSOT.

Glad I did that because, we all decided to go for lunch, and people were all talking about what happened. And some, started saying that russian submarines were spotted along the coast, that they saw it on Facebook. Misinformation on social today must have been on an all time high.

Our company decided to let us go home, so I got into my car and went home. While traveling, I turned on the radio to "Antena 1", a national radio station that kept giving us information about what was happening.

So for starters, yes, the military was summoned but it was to help with all the problems that we were facing. People got stuck in metro stations and elevators. Traffic lights weren't working so there were accidents. People panicked and started buying anything and everything on the supermarkets and stores. Some gas stations closed.

Some supermarkets and stores were closed due to them not being able to process the purchases. The only one that remained open were the ones with generators.

Pharmacies were also facing issues since they couldn't connect to their centralized databases (from what I understood), but there were also worries if their generators would last long enough to keep the medications in low temperatures.

As I was driving, it was also confirmed that general power would return between 6 to 10 hours, but at most it could take 72. General power should be stabilized in a week.

Once I got home, I found my old radio, that has at least 20 years, put some batteries in it and synced to Antena 1, and listened to it throughout the whole day. We're talking about an analogue radio, the kind that you have to rotate the wheel to set the frequency.

One thing that I started to appreciate, is how my iphone 12 pro max, a technological marvel, became basically unusable. While this simple piece of plastic that my parents bought for maybe 5 euros just worked. The cellular towers started to fail throughout the country, as they themselves started to run out of power (I assume they had generators). Meanwhile, this radio, it just worked.

I spent the whole day listening to it, and took the chance to watch Chainsaw man, that I had downloaded on my phone.

It was.... I don't really know how to describe it, but the fact that I could keep up with what was happening was good. The idea of just waiting without knowing what was happening is stressful. This tiny radio was my only source of information, at this point I had no internet, no TV, no calls, no text messages, no nothing, just the radio.

I know that right now it feels like I'm praising the hell out of that radio, but that's because it really did feel like the only connection I had to the outside the world, not counting my neighbours of course.

As for food and water, thankfully I was fine. But there were people that didn't have much at hand and - understandably - were scared that they wouldn't have enough for the next days.

Thankfully though, the guys over at the power plants did an excelent job and power started returning in several regions, one at a time, now at night. I got power a while back.

So... Other than the existencial dread that I got in the morning, it was fine for me personally. Although I can't imagine those that got stuck in metros and elevators and trains.

I got humbled today. We take the internet, TV, power, calls and messages for granted, but today I didn't have access to any of them, and for a while not having them for a few days was a real possibility.

In terms of food and water, I was fine, but I think I'm really going to get one of those survival kits after all, just in case. Hopefully I'll never need it but better prepared than sorry.

It's almost time...

...for another Tildes Backlog Burner -- the event where you try out games you've always wanted to play (but haven't yet -- for whatever reason).

The Backlog Burner for May 2025 will officially begin in two days on May 1st.

If you're new to the Backlog Burner, check out our previous events to get an idea of what's going on:

• 2024 - November
• 2024 - May
• 2023
• 2022
• 2020

Backlog Bingo is back and better than ever!

New Category List

In addition to Flux and Flow from the past, we've added a new list: Free!

This one is dead simple: the letters of the alphabet, and nothing more. You have (nearly) complete freedom in how you fill your squares. For example, Half-Life could fill:

• H for its title
• G for Gordon Freeman
• F for First-Person Shooter
• X for "Xen is really kind of a letdown, isn't it?"

The choice is entirely yours! Be as strict or as loose as you want to be with it.

We also added nearly three dozen words to the popular Flow set from last time. Maybe you'll roll some of the new additions, like Sly, Maneuver, or Whimsy?

New Site Features

u/Wes, coding wizard that he is, has added some incredible new features to the site:

• Seeded Cards: You can now roll the same exact card as someone else by providing the same seed. It's available on the Settings page (just make sure all other settings are the same as well).

• Import/Export: Need to move your card from your desktop to your phone? And then to your laptop? And then back to your desktop? Use the new Import/Export feature to save your card and its progress and move it between devices as much as you want. (Note: this also doubles as a backup tool for anyone worried about losing their card!)

• Behind the Scenes Polish: You won't be able to tell just by looking at the site but there's a lot of backend stuff that Wes spruced up. Better error handling, a custom schema and validator for the category files, proper SVG icons, better mobile responsiveness, etc.

Truly, the site has never been better!

If you participated last time, clear your old card and start fresh with a new one. If you're new to the event, simply go to the Backlog Bingo site to generate your card.

Notification List

If you are interested in participating in the Backlog Burner, please comment in this topic. Anyone commenting/replying here will automatically be added to a notification list for the Backlog Burner, unless you specify otherwise.

Start Planning (or Playing)

Technically the event starts in two days, so you have time to roll your cards (if you're playing Bingo) and plan out what you'd like to play for the month. That said, if you're eager to jump right in, and start early, I certainly won't stop you!

Let's get ready to burn through these backlogs!

Backlog Burner FAQ

Backlog Bingo FAQ

Important: All data for your Backlog Bingo card is stored on your device, not the server. Clearing your browser data will delete your card. You can use the export feature to make backups or move your card between devices.

I feel like this was forecasted for a few years, and I'm not sure if places are following through with it yet.

I looked it up, and found some articles, which I haven't vetted at all:

• https://www.the-sun.com/money/9078715/mass-gas-station-closures-across-country/
• https://www.thestreet.com/retail/major-oil-company-unloading-1000-of-its-retail-sites
• https://thefw.com/shell-gas-station-store-closings/

I don't know if the political situation in the US has slowed down the gas station closures, but I'm really not interested in turning this topic into politics talk, so please save that for another topic. I'm also definitely curious what's happening outside the US, I want to hear the facts and numbers, out of curiosity for how quickly this is happening, or not happening.

Lots of exciting leagues to follow in the world of European football. I know there's not a lot of traffic in the ~sports section of tildes, but I'm sure there are some football/soccer fans on the site. So does anyone have any interesting leagues/games to watch in the next couple of weeks as these competitions near their conclusion?

I'll list a few interesting things below that I'm keeping track of or looking forward to, but please feel free to suggest more! At the very least this can serve as a preview for anyone interested in watching some matches in the next couple of weeks but that doesn't know which ones to watch/prioritize.

• Premier League (England) - Well Liverpool just thrashed Spurs to seal the title yesterday, and the bottom three are all set in place, so the main thing to watch for here are the European spots. Newcastle, Man City, Chelsea, Forest, and Villa are all within 57-62 points with 4 games left (Forest have 5). The qualifications for European places is kind of a mess nowadays, with so many different competitions and group stages and the winners getting automatic spots, so I'm not exactly sure just how many of them will make it into the Champion's League vs the Europa League or Conference League. But best to be top of that group just to be safe. Major difference in prize money between those three competitions, so should make for some interesting final matches. Notable ones include Newcastle v Chelsea and Forest v Chelsea, plus there'll be a few games between these teams and others that don't technically have much else to play for, like Liverpool (already won the title), Arsenal (most likely finishing second, plus might be focusing on CL), and Southampton/Leicester (already relegated).

• Bundesliga (Germany) - Similar story to the PL, Bayern have all but won the title (technically there's still a chance for Leverkusen, but slim), and the real fight is for the few European places. Freiburg, Leipzig, Dortmund, Mainz, and Bremen are all at around 46-51 points with 3 games remaining, and even Frankfurt at 55 are not completely out of the fight. It's been interesting seeing Dortmund rise over the last few weeks given how low they were mid-season. Impressive turnaround from them. Too many interesting games to list, like Bremen v Leipzig, or Freiburg v Frankfurt, but I'll make sure to tune into a few of them for sure!

• Serie A (Italy) - my favorite of the bunch currently. Inter lost and Napoli won yesterday, meaning the title race is in Napoli's hands after them slipping and Inter pouncing a few weeks back. 4 games to play and they're at 74 and 71, so should definitely make for some interesting final games. Below them the European spots are heavily contested as well, with Juventus, Bologna, Roma, Fiorentina, and Lazio all with 59-62 points. Though Atalanta at 65 and Milan at 54 are still in the battle. And there are plenty of direct matchups here, like Bologna v Juventus, Roma v Fiorentina, Lazio v Juventus, Milan v Bologna, Atalanta v Roma, Fiorentina v Bologna, Roma v Milan, and a nice Inter v Lazio towards the end. Plenty of great matches to watch with teams that have a lot to win/lose.

• Primeira Liga (Portugal) - Sporting and Benfica fighting for the title. Both with 75 points and 3 games left to play, one of which will be against each other on the penultimate round which should be a hell of a match. Could and probably will be the title decider, unless they tie in which case it'll come down to the last day, which will be equally exciting. Porto and Braga also fighting for the 3rd place spot, which would be Europa League vs 4th place's Conference League.

• Ligue 1 (France) - PSG have already won (and comfortably, though hilariously they just lost for the first time in the season, meaning they won't go unbeaten as many thought they might) but the next 6 teams are all neck-and neck. Marseille, Lille, Monaco, Lyon, Nice, and Strasbourg are all at 54-58 points with 3 games left. Should be plenty of movement there in the coming few weeks. A couple of direct matches too: Lille v Marseille and Monaco vs Lyon, plus Strasbourg are still to play PSG.

• Champion's League (Europe) - Arsenal v PSG and Barcelona v Inter. Some great teams there, and the quarterfinals were (mostly) incredible match after incredible match. So hopefully the 5 games that are left don't disappoint. 3 of those teams are still up for a treble. Any predictions? My money's on Barcelona purely because of Flick and Raphinha.

• Europa League (Europe) - Spurs v Bodø/Glimt (you bet your ass I copied and pasted that), and Athletic Club v Man United. Spurs and Man United are having absolutely terrible seasons, so they're sure to be desperate to win this and salvage something. Meanwhile Bodø/Glimt (how many teams do you know of with a slash in the middle?) are in the semis despite being a small Norwegian team. Would love to see a Bodø/Glimt v Athletic Club final!

tl;dr: Happy (?) ending

I wanted to post a short follow-up to my post last week, as things have progressed very quickly.

The most important thing I would like to say is "thanks" to everyone who chimed in with your very helpful advice, well wishes, and support. I took everything you said to heart (which is probably a risky thing to do from random internet folks, but this community is simply different).

Everything just clicked for me as I was going for a run last Friday and talking out loud to myself in a sort of stream of consciousness manner. I probably looked like a crazy person. Honestly, I don't know where the words came from, but it was all crystal clear.

I went home and asked my wife to talk "just one more time... and this time it will be different, I promise." I told her that I have come to terms with her decision and I respect it. I also asked her if my understanding of what went wrong made sense, and she said I hit the nail on the head. So I have a starting point for what I need to start working on personally.

We talked for a long time and started going through logistics. We are both on the same page about raising our son in a healthy manner. We will be doing equal shifts (week on, week off) and will find places to live relatively close to each other. We plan to remain friends and meet up regularly for our son.

On top of all of these things that happened VERY quickly on Friday, I found out that my mother fell and broke her hip on Saturday. She's got a bunch of other issues so a hip break is NOT good for her. We all packed up and hit the road to drive ~4 hours to the hospital. Mom is recovering now. It was a very surreal experience, this new form of bonding my wife went through over the weekend. We're now just friends, living together for the time being; yet still doing everything we can to help each other out.

I'm still very tired and not sleeping, and I'm CERTAIN I'm not even one step into the grieving process, but I feel better right now. I am working on moving on and moving forward. I feel as if I have stepping stones that will make me a better person AND I can work on the issues that caused all of this in the first place so I can learn how to pass that wisdom on to my son to make sure he doesn't run up against the same challenges as I did.

Again, I am sharing all of this because you all gave me some very frank, direct, and compassionate advice and support. Reading through the comments as they came in helped to keep me grounded and on track. I have archived all of the messages in my Obsidian notebook and I will read them in the future to remind myself to stay focused on self improvement. Thank you, once again.