I wanted to hit the gym all my life, but I never really made it until this year. Granted, I do have a sports background and have been active most of my life, but going to the gym was never really for me, until I decided to really do it this year. After years of shoulder and knee problems, I thought adding some muscle to my frame was definitely needed if I didn't want to be in pain all my life.

Since I had thought about going to the gym for years now, I feel like I gathered a good bit of information that REALLY helped me to go now. Here they are:

• The routine is more important than the results; regardless of any information I give you about macros, weights, sets, proteins, whatever all that, going to the gym one more time is going to be better than not going. Results take a LONG time. You will not see progress after a month. You may not see progress after 2 months. You may start to see some progress after 3 months. Real progress takes many months, years. That's why your number one priority should simply be to go to the gym, even if your workout is the worst ever and you use two machines in 30 minutes. Going to the gym 4 times a week is better than 3, going 3 times a week is better than 2 and so on. It takes about 3 months to a year to have the routine set in your life. After that and during that, you'll have all the time in the world to think about how to optimize your training, but just going and sticking to the routine of going is more important than anything else.

• Choose the easiest, most accessible gym option; the goal is to go. You should make this the easiest for you. Choose a gym that is easily accessible, before or after work. The closer, the better. Heck, your gym can even be your own home! Make some place for you to workout if you want to. You can easily do very good home workouts with maybe 100-150$ worth of equipment.

• Stick to a simple workout plan; There are some easy plans: target 2 muscle groups per workout, or alternate upper lower body; try to hit the muscles two times a week (2x biceps, 2x triceps, etc.). 3-5 exercises per workout is fine. 1-2min rest, take more if you feel like it, take less if you feel like it.

• Listen to your body for reps/weight; Going for 5 reps or going for 15 reps, it doesn't matter that much at the start, as long as you can do 2-3 series of that. Try to aim for anything from 6 to 12 reps, if you feel you can do more, do it, if you feel like you cannot, then don't. Some times I do 6, sometimes I do 12, but I try to aim for 8. The routine is more important than the results, all you need to do is go to the gym, the perfect workout can come in later.

• The movement is more important than the weight; building muscle is simply your muscles tearing and healing. As long as your muscles tear, you've done a good job. But that tear must come from a movement done well, or else you'll tear something that was not supposed to. Go for slower reps if needed, less explosion in your movements. Watch a video on how to do specific exercises if needed, some are mandatory to make sure you don't injure yourself (squats, deadlifts).

• Don't overdo it, progressive overload is the key; getting injured is EASY, the goal is to go to the gym, not be hurt. Go lower on the weights at first, it's not a competition. I started my dumbell press with like 10 pounds, shaking like crazy, it's normal. We've all been there. Don't ego lift. The routine is more important than the results. The big weights will take a while to reach, but it'll happen progressively.

• Have some kind of goal that is not tied to a number; I guess this one is more personal, but I feel like it's way easier to stick to the routine when you don't "care" about the results as much. The true goal is to be fit or to be lean or to be muscular or to be healthy, no? I feel like those are achievable long term and are guaranteed to come from the routine. I think if you're a beginner and set some kind of arbitrary number, you're not an expert to know if that goal is realistic or not and it makes the whole working out thing to be dependent on a result that you don't have the slightest idea how difficult it is or how long it takes to reach it. I think goals with a number should come after the routine is set in, not before going to the gym, but hey, that's just my two cents.

• Eat enough, drink water, get more protein; protein shakes are easy and not that costly, just having a protein shake is fine. Not having it is fine too. If you want to build muscle, you should aim for 100-150g of protein per day. Make sure you eat enough and well, but in the end, the routine is more important. Remember, getting fit happens at the gym, getting lean happens in the kitchen. Weight loss and weight gains both happen in the kitchen. Realistically, a normal genetic male will gain AT BEST 10-12 pounds of muscle the first year of working out (assuming optimal results), so you can aim for that, but just know that your weight gains might not be muscle.

• Use ChatGPT to help if needed; When I started going at the gym, I followed all these tips, but I didn't really know that to do. So I asked ChatGPT to make me a 4 days a week workout plan, 5 exercises: pull, push, legs, full body. I tried what it gave me for about a month, but I used that month to just replace exercises I didn't like and I slowly started making my own program to fit what I wanted. But I was super happy that I at least had a starting program. I realize that's what's stopping a lot of people and you can use AI to help you out with that, especially if you don't have money to buy a program or pay a trainer to make one for you.

• Be disciplined, but be kind to yourself; There will be days when you will not be able to workout. There will be days when you will not want to workout. There will be days when you will feel bad about working out. It's ok to miss a day, it's ok to miss a week. Remember, the routine is more important. Just make sure to go back to your routine as soon as possible. Missing one workout after going 20 times in a row feels a lot less bad than missing 2-3 every week.

Finally, if you have any questions about starting the gym, feel free to ask. I'll gladly help.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

I am thinking of buying a treadmill so I can run even when its nigh impossible outside (for example this week most days had slippery snowy goop out, probably still can run most days but coupled with how early it gets dark and how cold it is I am just not morivated most days in the winter). Biggest problem I have is that I live in an apartment, so I am scared I couldnt run cause my downstairs neighbors would hate me. Is there any way to make it work? Or does anyone have any ideas how to properly motivate myself to run in winter? I used to go running every other day and I loved it and I want to run more somehow, I barely force myself to do it like once a week now in the winter. Its just annoyingly cold before I warm up, or if I put on too many layers instead I am too sweaty after I warm up. Maybe I need better clothes?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

I am hopefully starting a new job soon, and their health and vision insurance is UHC. We can also choose a regional plan (UPMC for anyone in the western PA area) through my wife's job.

All my previous employers have been local, so we've always had UPMC coverage. This is my first time dealing with a national insurance company.

Likely my new plan will be be less expensive and have lower deductibles than my wife's.

Pittsburgh is split between UPMC (a hospital system that grew an insurance arm) and AHN (an insurance provider who grew a hospital system). Ironically, UHC may offer me more options since they seem to have most of the UPMC and AHN providers in their network.

I've checked all my doctors and the major hospitals, and they are all listed as in-network. I'm already getting my maintenance medications through CostPlus, so I'm not that worried about prescriptions.

My wife and I are in our 40s and relatively healthy, but I know we are reaching the point where (statistically, and looking at friends the same age) we're likely to have some big health events in the next five years.

Outside the very obvious news story that comes to mind when thinking about UHC, what are your experiences with them? Things to watch out for? Things you wish you knew going in?

Edit: thanks everyone for your input. This largely confirms my expectations, but I appreciate people taking the time to share.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

After a particularly grueling and frustrating week at work, I was driving home from picking up my daughter from school, and there were several different honking exchanges at this one stoplight. This is Pittsburgh, which is more midwest than east coast, so I rarely hear anyone honk, and almost never the sustained angry honks I was hearing. I thought, "They must be having the kind of week I'm having."

A bit later, I found myself alone on the road, no other cars visible either way. I thought, maybe I could honk. So I did. A nice long one. And it felt very good. I did it again a bit later. Still cathartic. I finally had to stop because my 10 year old was going to die of embarrassment.

So that's my recommendation. Get out there and let out a big honk. Not at anyone, not road rage, just let loose a little.

What are your other outlets for relieving stress?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

Hello! Hopefully this is the right place to ask this, but I was wondering if anyone here was using a SAD lamp, and if you have any recommendations.

Tangent:
I currently live in a fairly dark apartment, and have a cheapish SAD lamp that is pulling double duty to not only brighten the room, but also keep me from going crazy in the darker winter months. It seems in an age of smart-everything, I've struggled to find something to replace mine with.

I currently have a Verilux HappyLight, but it kind of sucks ass. The power cord always falls out, pressing the power button might be enough to loosen the power cord. The settings have to be set every time you turn it on. It's just total garbo in my opinion. I looked at smart bulbs, but they don't seem to hit the lumens I'm looking for.

I think part of the issue with my current setup is that I have to actually turn the light on, which you would think would be fairly easy, but with the issues above, and my sheer laziness it's basically an impossible task.

What I'm looking for is something that can be automated, I think one of my major issues I've had in the last year is that I haven't been able to wake up to the morning sun as I had previously. It takes hours before I actually feel awake. I've gone from a morning person to some sort of bizarre afternoon person.

Anyway, I'm looking for others experiences and recommendations.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

I’m here to ask the community for help. I know we’re a neurodiverse bunch, so I’ve got good hopes somebody can relate to this.

My son is currently 16 and has always struggled with basic tasks. He’s gone through many tests and trainings when he was elementary school, but executive functions remain a challenge. From previous tests, we know he has an IQ of over 145. Back when he was tested, the psychologist advised to change his school curriculum to get him more engaged. This has partially worked: he’s been having more fun at school and has had some really cool academical achievements. But his struggle with basic day to day tasks and school work remains the same, and keeping focus is by far the most problematic part of it.

With going to middle school came owning a phone and iPad. From day one, these do get his full attention. Me and my son are much alike when it comes to obsessive behavior, so I sometimes feel like I’m looking in the mirror when I see him with his phone. I too can lose myself in a game and binge it in a weekend. But for me, it isn’t 24/7. I can turn it off when it needs to be off. So I’ve always been strict with rules about screen time for him, but these rules have gone out the window in the last 2 years. There has been lying, sneaking and hiding to increase screen time. It has had a negative effect on our family and it’s draining to have to deal with this daily. I think that’s why we’ve somewhat given up on it, it was impossible to keep in check.

In the past 3 years, he has started to really experience the negative impact of his challenges. We’ve attempted to help him plan his days, to plan his school work, to do chores in the house. But nothing seems to stick and he gets frustrated with himself and it is affecting his mood. In an attempt to find out more about what is causing his difficulties with basic tasks, we’ve asked a psychologist to look into AD(H)D. After an assessment, they’ve now come back with their findings. According to them, it cannot be AD(H)D because he can focus on things he likes (a board game was their example). Their rationale is that people with ADHD cannot focus on any task, even if they like them. They are saying it is his IQ, that he’s too bored to focus on basic tasks. According to them, he should force himself to do menial tasks and that we should be there to enforce this with rules and praise. Like we haven’t tried this already without any results. To say that I’m disappointed and furious about this outcome, is an understatement. It leaves us dead in the water and this makes me feel hopeless.

I’m hoping to gain some insights by reading your comments. This attempt might point us in a new direction, because I’m fine if it is something entirely different than ADHD. I just really want him to feel better.

Hey all, some of you may remember me from several months back saying that my psychiatrist put me down as "Asperger's coded" and how I was unsure what that meant.

Well I had another appointment since then where she did say I was autistic but it was left open ended as to whether or not I was diagnosed. At least that's how I interpreted it.

So at today's appointment I just asked point blank if I was diagnosed. And she said not with autism spectrum disorder but with Asperger's syndrome via the ICD 10. Which is weird because I'm in America but whatever. I asked if that was a type of autism and she said according to the DSM V Asperger's was turned into ASD 1 (if I remember correctly) but I was diagnosed via the ICD 10.

So yeah all that to say is that I think it's finally fair to say I'm autistic. I'm not a fan of the word Asperger's so autistic is what I'm going with. Please correct me if I'm being offensive.

It only took 30 years. Though I didn't have to go through any major testing which makes me feel like an imposter. I just answered a few questions.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

I'm attempting to be more active on Tildes (after my last attempt), and I noticed that there hadn't been a new fortnightly thread, so here's my contribution!

https://tildes.net/~health.mental/1oax/victories_and_challenges_an_a_u_dhd_community_and_support_fortnightly_thread

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

this past summer, I started biking quite a bit and part of my route involves lots of hills and so forth. It was painful af the first few months, not gonna lie.

although, now, my legs muscles have grown quite a bit (didn't expect that) and I am quite happy with my muscular endurance, although there is still room for improvement obviously.

However, oddly as it sounds, my breathing is still off. As I bike up the hill, I feel heartbeat go up quite a bit and my breathing becomes quite laborious and I wind up taking quick breaths with my mouth aka panting. If I try to do it through my nose, I quickly feel like I am suffocating like I can't get enough air.

In the beginning, this made sense. I was out of shape and all that.

But summer is over, my legs have adapted but I feel like my breathing hasn't. when I am going up a hill, I still feel the need to pant and breathe through my mouth and take short breaths.

Is this normal? that I would have to pant even after 3-4 months of this kind of exercise everyday. I figured my lungs or whatever would get used to the biking route I am taking by this time.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

I've been having a difficult time recently, which has been leading to my absence here and a lot of crying in my real life. I don't deal with letting go too well. I keep texts and pictures and messages and every once in a while I like to look back at them and remember that somebody out there at one point was capable of loving me.

It's not like I don't have friends that love me either, I've spent days and days at other people's houses just crying, people have taken me out to eat and cry and just feel my feelings, and people have been reminding me about the things they like about me too. I mentioned it to a friend that I've been having trouble letting go and we dug into it a bit more, about why I want to keep these things. My friend asks why I need the love to come from other people first. Where is the self love?

My core issue has always been needing to be reminded that I am loved. It's really silly sometimes, because on some level I know that I am. But something is missing.

There's an old saying that we judge other people by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a bad person. Or if I think I am. Because if I didn't have that, why would I have such a hard time forgiving myself?

I don't really know how to self love, to be honest. I spent all day today barely working, just mindlessly staring at a screen playing a stupid game and not leaving the house. I dunno. Maybe I just need some ideas. I set up a couple more appointments with my therapist this week, but sometimes when it's 2 in the morning like it is now I just can't sleep and spend more time hurting myself in my own head.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

A lot of people are familiar with body fat percentage, BMI, etc. Personally, my BMI has been 'better' when I've been less healthy, and generally worse as I've been more healthy. Body fat percentage is difficult to actually measure. So every few months, I look for metrics that fit my biases. For example:

• Jeff Nippard's Noob to Freak Benchmarks - I like these primarily because it's a multiplier on bodyweight. Additionally, he makes a good argument for why you'll never get past "Intermediate" due to the work and sacrifices required.
• StrengthLevel - If you want to compare yourself to people of similar weight, age, and gender. You can see the "novice", "intermediate", etc. break downs of your lift for your cohort.
• Ready for Labour and Defence was a USSR and now modern Russia series of benchmarks of health. It includes pull-up goals as well as how far you can throw a grenade. Can't say I've applied these but I like the concept.
• Anime Workout - Solo-Levelling, One-Punch Man. Why wouldn't you want to be an anime hero?

If possible, explain why it's your "favorite." Can be everything from accuracy, to ease of application, or you just being really good at it.

For me:

• Squat, Deadlift, and Bench - 1x Bodyweight x 10 reps (e.g., a barbell squat where you're lifting your body weight) - I like the idea that I can truly support my own weight.
• Being able to do unassisted pullups
• 100 push ups, 100 pull ups, 100 squats - it's completely arbitrary, based on a base 10 number system, but for that same reason it just feels like a good "benchmark."
• Your 30 minute run distance / speed - 30 minutes is relatively long, so I like it as a measure of realistic improvement, rather than thinking about outlier improvements in speed or distance that might go away the next week.
• Enough hours of sleep and a normal sleep schedule for 1 month - This is hard for me, but feels great when I'm in the swing of it.
• Doing some kind of activity every day for at least 1 month - Even if it's just 15 minutes of stretching, I know that it means something to "try."

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

Hi! In the past (in my 20s and early 30s) I played a LOT of video games. I realized at some point it felt pretty damn close to addiction. At the very least it was a problem. I have since managed to reduce and embrace moderation. I’m now entering my 40s. However, I can’t help feeling a certain sense of lingering guilt when I do play. It’s as though a voice inside my head tells me “you should be doing something else with your time.” My rational mind thinks that with moderation, some gaming is not that bad. It’s not conflicting with responsibilities, work, relationships. Helps my brain relax and I prefer it to something like TV which is far more passive. I play mainly rogue-like games. No online games, no loot boxes, no fictional currency. Think Dead Cells, Balatro, Hades, small(er) games. Wondering if others feel this way and what do you tell yourself or do to mitigate the guilty conscience? Am I just too strict or mean to myself?

For the past year, I've finally been able to have a strong, lasting, cleaning routine. It took me my whole life, but I was never able to go past my own argument of "who cares"? Who cares if the dishes aren't done? If the laundry isn't folded? Only I can judge me. It doesn't matter, ultimately.

But silently, I wasn't happy with that, and I've known I wasn't happy for years, kinda like an addict saying he'll stop but he never does.

One day earlier this year, during winter, while on a good cleaning day, I took some time to look at my old notebooks from college. I remembered a page I had written during some off-time on an internship. I had written a full page of the same line: "I like it when...". I had wanted to just do some introspection and list every thing I liked that came to mind. Stuff like "I like it when I eat pizza", "I like it when I play boardgames with my friend", etc.

Those notes were five years old, you know what was the very first thing on the page? That's right: "I like it when my apartment is clean"

It hit me like a fucking brick. I almost cried right there.

From then on, it was over. The cleaning me had won over the lazy me and I've since been able to keep a clean apartment :)

So, what's your story? How did you overcome a challenge in your life?

I'll preface by saying that if this is the wrong place for this, I'm sorry ahead of time. Additionally if I've tagged you and you disapprove, please let me know.

So to the point of discussion... What helps you persevere in the face of adversity and hardship?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

See device recommendation thread from 2019.

It's been a few years: tech has further matured, and we've gotten more things enshittified. With that in mind, I am asking these questions :

Edit: new comments very welcome as well! I wasn't on this site yet in 2019

(0) Did you find the device worth the money, what was surprisingly helpful or unhelpful? What was the tipping point into getting one and did it fulfil its promise?

(1) If your existing one broke today, would you still buy a new fitness tracker today?

(2) If yes, which one?

(3) Else no, why not, or what lessons have you learned since owning one, or what technological considerations do you have today that you didn't before?

Bonus: for folks who never had one, did you ever wanted one and if so what stopped you?

Some days ago, I posted in the monthly ~health.mental thread and it turned into such a long aimless ramble that I deleted it after a couple of hours. I was embarrassed how childishly whiny I came off with that ranting/venting or whatever it was that went through my head at that time, in a vulnerable emotional state. When it gets even worse, during breakdowns, it even becomes that I'm fully incapable of speech which I even less know how to work on.

But it's not just limited to these two states. During more "reasonable" moments, if I can call it that, I still have the sense that I don't know how to express myself. Sometimes I catch myself thinking it's a lack of education or because of not reading enough literature, so my vocabulary is poor. Because even when I use tools full-on graphs of words with emotions and variants and synonyms of those words etc. etc., it still seems like it's not enough.

The best I can usually do is saying that I have a feeling of being overwhelmed, that it's all too much, feeling the feelings too much, extreme emotions, that I can't fit into my body. But I feel like it's still more than that.

Anyone else deal with this too?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

Was listening to a pod where one person shared a funny, and having fun is taking care of your ~mental.health

This is my kind of humour, an 'article' about it: https://pleated-jeans.com/2023/08/29/disappointing-affirmations-dave-tarnowski/

And a link to the instagram account https://www.instagram.com/disappointingaffirmations/ for those who use instagram.

The episode in question: Divergent Conversations: Episode 106(mp3)

Maybe this isn't really a good topic, but maybe you'd like to share what makes you laugh, good podcasts or how you use humour for ~mental.health.

I also wrote something related in one the monthly check in topics, so maybe @chocobean would like to give an update! (Sorry for calling you out like this, just trying to have some fun)

I have a prescription for a certain digestion aide which I need to take on a daily basis. A while back, I got a letter from my insurance that they will no longer be covering it and offering it through the pharmacy counter because it's an over-the-counter medication.

The problem is that almost nobody sells this drug in large quantities. I used to get a 3-month supply, 100 pills, for something less than $10. Now the best price I can seem to find is $12 for a 42-pack, and annoyingly they only ever come in incredibly irritating blister packs (a pox on the people who invented putting pills in those things!), or an equally unhinged option of being spread between three separate bottles and boxed together.

I did happen to find a place that sold the drug in bulk, but I've never heard of them and their website doesn't exactly inspire trust.

Does anyone know of a place where I might be able to find the drugs I need in quantities and packaging that makes sense, within the United States?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

A few months ago I went to the psychiatrist and we talked for like an hour. We got onto the topic of autism and I mentioned how I was always curious if I had it. She spent like five or so minutes asking me questions and said she would put me as autism coded in my chart.

I wasn't sure if that meant it was an official diagnosis or not but I didn't think to ask until after the appointment. It seemed really quick for it to be an official diagnosis.

I went back to her last week and brought up that she marked me as "autism coded." I asked "is that a diagnosis or does it just mean it's suspected?" She didn't really give a straightforward answer and just said that I have "really really high functioning autism."

But I don't know if that means I'm officially diagnosed. And if I take her at her words of calling me autistic and then applying that label to myself I feel like a fake because I never had a huge assessment like most people.

Thoughts? Advice? Am I overthinking this?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

Special Ed. Teacher here.

This year I've been assigned a tough caseload. But my most challenging student is easily the student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and possibly autism. I'll call him Jake.

Edit: He's in middle school, btw.

To protect his privacy and my own, I can't give many specifics. This student is chronically online and I wouldn't put it past him to Google situations he's caused in my class.

Some vague descriptions of the things he's done this year:

-Repeatedly jokes about pedophilia and teachers who have been arrested for it. It makes me uncomfortable that he does this, obviously. The only saving grace here is that he has thrown it around so many times, including calling multiple teachers pedophiles last year, that everyone knows he is just being rude and it's not a serious accusation. Thoroughly documented and I'm not really concerned about actually being accused. Fyi, I have informed his adoptive parents and they have informed his counselor. They are taking it seriously and have started investigating whether or not this is just shocking humor or a more serious part of the Jake's history before adoption.

-Waits for the perfect time to drop rude or shocking comments to inflict maximum damage. When he wants to say something awful to me or in general, he will hold off until he has an audience and the room is relatively quiet.

-Constantly mocks and shit talks certain students. We have dealt with it. He isn't just getting away with it. But even after consequences, separation from the students, and punishments at home, he doesn't stop. He's hung up on hating a couple of kids in particular but will generally be rude to whoever if he wants to. One of these kids is a scrappy kid from a rough school and I could totally see it ending in punches if we don't manage this.

-Absolutely refuses to share any serious thoughts. Even when asked what kind of support he needs, what kind of rewards would motivate him, or what's bothering him, he just gives ridiculous answers in a high-pitched voice or walks away. This kid wants no part in coming up with solutions and won't even engage in a conversation about his behavior or even the behavior of others.

-Speaking of his high pitched voice, this is the voice he always uses to say rude things. He has his normal speaking voice and then he uses this higher pitched voice when he says things that are rude or shocking. Like he has two different brains and one wants to be mean.

-Last year, he kept a list of times he felt students and teachers had broken the code of conduct.

-absolutely hates special Ed. Hates me for being a special ed. teacher. Reminds the other kids in my class that they're "special" constantly.

For the record, all of these things have been addressed many times. The school has been supportive, the parents have been supportive, and everyone knows that this behavior, if continued for much longer, will likely result in a change of programming for this student. He would be placed in a more restrictive setting.

This is kind of my last ditch effort to see if anyone has ideas, because this student is on the verge of leaving my classroom. If there is anything I can do to make it work with this kid, I would do it immediately. He's smart, witty, and unfortunately very funny in a South Park kind of a way. But he's raising hell every day and he's the first student I've had where it feels like I can't connect with him at all. And not for lack of trying.