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22 votes
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Does anyone have any advice for new dads?
I'm going to be a father soon. This kid was very much planned, and I've been pretty involved every step of the way, yet it still feels bizarre to say that out loud. At 26 (27 when the kid is...
I'm going to be a father soon. This kid was very much planned, and I've been pretty involved every step of the way, yet it still feels bizarre to say that out loud. At 26 (27 when the kid is born), I don't feel like a kid, but in some ways, I'm not sure I feel mature enough for parenthood.
I'm not too worried about the immediate logistical practicalities of parenthood. Things like how to clean, feed, and physically handle a newborn are things I can learn and seem fairly straightforward. Regarding what to get, I live within walking distance of a fairly well known baby supply store, so I figure I can just buy things as the need arises. I'm expecting that first month to be hard, but after I "figure out" the kid, I'm sure it'll be manageable. My folks did it, their folks did it, I'm sure I can do it too.
I guess what I'm really dwelling on is the more abstract aspects of fatherhood. I don't know what to expect and I don't really know what I don't know. What does it feel like? How should I prioritize my life? How do I figure out what's important and what isn't? I want to do what's best for the kid, but what does that even mean? How much is expecting too much from the kid? My wife wants the kid to be able to speak Russian, naturally, I want the kid to be able to speak English, and living in Japan, the kid will also have to pick up Japanese. Is that going to stunt the kid? I have so many questions and no one to really ask. I asked my own dad about it and all he said was something along the lines of "every kid is different, it might take a bit of time to really sink in that you're a dad" and that was that.
A bit of background about my situation:
On one hand, I'm in an okay place. I have a house with a very affordable mortgage, a modest, but stable career, and I live in a very safe part of Japan, which offers a lot of support for new parents. On the other hand, both my wife and I are thousands of miles from our respective families, so we're pretty much on our own and neither of are as fluent in the local language as we'd like to be.35 votes -
He secretly changed this freeway sign, helped millions of drivers
17 votes -
Donald Trump is a de-facto incumbent US President ("Why I think Joe Biden decided to run again (and why he can’t really talk about it)")
29 votes -
Save Point: A game deal roundup for the week of July 7
Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week! Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle...
Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week!
Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle are most worth my attention?”
Rules:
- No grey market sales
- No affiliate links
If posting a sale, it is strongly encouraged that you share why you think the available game/games are worthwhile.
All previous Save Point topics
If you don’t want to see threads in this series, add
save point
to your personal tag filters.13 votes -
Xbox Game Pass is getting major changes, with a new tier without day one games, and a range of price increases
28 votes -
Dozens were sickened with salmonella after drinking raw milk from a California farm
42 votes -
Set in an otherworldly landscape surrounded by glaciers, forests and lakes – how the Arctic town of Bodø became Europe's Capital of Culture
4 votes -
Genomic prediction of IQ is modern snake oil
11 votes -
Spotify is no longer just a streaming app, it’s a social network
41 votes -
Designed to fail: Chemical release at LyondellBasell
8 votes -
Crossing | Trailer
4 votes -
What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga)
What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was...
What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.
If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!
8 votes -
Finnish lawmakers narrowly approved controversial bill that will allow border guards to turn away third-country migrants attempting to enter from neighboring Russia
11 votes -
The death squads hunting environmental defenders
34 votes -
What have you been listening to this week?
What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...
What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)
Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.
You can make a chart if you use last.fm:
http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/
Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.
3 votes -
Cities are cracking down on short-term rentals. Here’s how.
23 votes -
Game publisher claims 100% crash rate with Intel CPUs – Alderon Games says company sells defective 13th and 14th gen chips
31 votes -
DVDs are dying right as streaming has made them appealing again
20 votes -
Is cycling in the suburbs a lost cause?
20 votes -
Best Shelley Duvall movies: The Shining, 3 Women, and more
5 votes -
Someone is wrong on the internet (AGI Doom edition)
28 votes -
Joe Biden's path to US re-election has all but vanished
23 votes -
gaze of the sun
burn away the rot burn away the festering burn away the power that grip your heart burn ’em all the gaze of your sun shall make you invincible they shall fear your conviction for they are the...
burn away the rot
burn away the festering
burn away the power
that grip your heart
burn ’em allthe gaze of your sun
shall make you invincible
they shall fear your conviction
for they are the immovable object
you become the unstoppable force
and you are one of manyyou refuse the dying of the dream
and that shall become your sun8 votes -
What's a life lesson you've applied that has changed your life?
When I was about 18 years old, I had a philosophy class where the teacher said this quote: "Things over which you do not have power should not have power over you." It could also be read as...
When I was about 18 years old, I had a philosophy class where the teacher said this quote: "Things over which you do not have power should not have power over you." It could also be read as "control the things you control, ignore the rest".
That lesson really spoke to me. I put a lot of effort integrating it into my personality and I must say now, almost 15 years later, it made my life so much more enjoyable.
I used to get mad, really mad about stuff or get stressed about stuff out of my control, and I could never really remove those feelings. These words kept coming back to me and through some effort, I must say that I can more or less apply them in my everyday life now. It saved me a lot of trouble on various situations and has helped me break through problems way faster than I would have in the past, simply by helping me identify the things I could change and focus on those things.
I'm curious about you guys and your life stories. Has any lesson had as much impact on your life?
85 votes -
Project Korra: What if vanilla multiplayer Minecraft could exist in the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender?
12 votes -
Weeks after Alice Munro’s death, daughter tells of dark family secret
16 votes -
Tildes Minecraft Survival - Returning blockier than ever on Friday July 12th (1.21 update)
I hope everyone has been doing well! I've had a couple of people poke me now that Minecraft 1.21 is out to revive the server. The server software and plugins are all slowly updating so we will go...
I hope everyone has been doing well! I've had a couple of people poke me now that Minecraft 1.21 is out to revive the server. The server software and plugins are all slowly updating so we will go live on July 12th. Mark your calendars!
The intention is to run this pretty similar to last time. It'll be a low key survival server running on a soft whitelist (Tildes account is required for normal signups). But I'm happy to take plugin/world generation/configuration suggestions in this thread.
Edit: Go time is 4pm Pacific - Countdown
55 votes -
I just saw a concert and I don't think I will ever be the same again
I just got home from seeing Orville Peck for the first time. Now there's a bit of build up here because I had tickets to his first Pony Tour in Houston (COVID cancellation), and tickets to his...
I just got home from seeing Orville Peck for the first time. Now there's a bit of build up here because I had tickets to his first Pony Tour in Houston (COVID cancellation), and tickets to his third Bronco Tour (mental health cancellation). But tonight was,
Without a doubt.
The best most entertaining concert I have ever seen.
And I have been to hundreds of concerts. I saw Britney Spears on her Hit Me Baby Tour. I saw ACDC. I saw the Police. I saw Metallica. I've seen Backstreet Boys. I've seen Pink Floyd. Mac Miller. Kurt Vile. War on Drugs. Japanese Breakfast. Car seat Headrest. Badbadnotgood. Our Lady Peace. Mathew Good Band. Sum 41. Countless nameless indie bands. I've seen Operas. Symphonies.
And yet this is the first time I've walked away from a concert euphoric. I sang {screamed), I danced. I existed on a plane I didn't think possible. And when the band left the stage I didn't know what to do with Myself. The lights came up and I milled, trying to catch my breath, trying to figure out what happened.
I am under thw influence of nothing but alcohol. I'm a CIS dude and the concert had lot of very non-straight, non-CIS guests and I don't know if a single one of them danced as hard as I did. I don't know if I can ever recover from this experience. I am at home, still flabbergasted by what I just experienced. I feel like I just went through a 2 day EDM dance in Berlin. I'm feeling like jve been through New York in the 90'sbwkthbthe club kids. I can't sleep.
I'll never again feel this way.
35 votes -
Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news
Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like psychology, france and bitcoin mining. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was...
Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like psychology, france and bitcoin mining. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was observant.
But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched
offbeat
stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!10 votes -
After Joe Biden's debate performance, the US presidential race is unchanged
20 votes -
AT&T says criminals stole phone records of ‘nearly all’ US customers in new data breach
26 votes -
Things to look for while suit shopping?
I love fashion and all things streetwear and sneakers, but I have a blind spot when it comes to suits and tuxedos. I don't need to ever dress formally at work since I work in tech, but I'm also at...
I love fashion and all things streetwear and sneakers, but I have a blind spot when it comes to suits and tuxedos. I don't need to ever dress formally at work since I work in tech, but I'm also at the age where I need to have suits for weddings and such.
I currently have a pretty nice dark grey suit that I bought for a couple of weddings a couple of years ago, but I need to go suit shopping again for just a normal black suit for upcoming weddings. Anyone have anything they look for specifically? I have an appointment at Suit Supply later tonight, but wanted to go in knowing a bit more!
24 votes -
What did you do this week (and weekend)?
As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...
As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!
7 votes -
Gladiator II | Official trailer
27 votes -
Swedish director Levan Akin's fearless and hopeful takes on LGBTQ+ narratives have made him one of the most exciting gay directors working today
14 votes -
Israeli port Eilat in financial distress due to lack of Red Sea freight traffic
4 votes -
The company that has a monopoly on ice cream truck music
22 votes -
Arsenic and lead among toxic metals found in tampons
10 votes -
How to raise your artificial intelligence
7 votes -
Tractor Supply slashes its DEI and climate goals after a right-wing pressure campaign
29 votes -
Metallica - St. [b]Anger (Cover) (2024)
8 votes -
In Norway, children walk to school aged six, or even travel across the country. Why do these kids have so much independence, while other countries are so risk-averse?
30 votes -
Tourists will be rewarded with free food and activities if they participate in environmentally friendly tasks while visiting Copenhagen, the city's tourist board has announced
35 votes -
Shelley Duvall, Robert Altman protege and tormented wife in ‘The Shining,’ dies at 75
21 votes -
Crunchyroll announces the removal of its comment section across all platforms to 'reduce harmful content'
49 votes -
Donald Trump loathes our laws, puts self over country, and is dangerous for America. He is fully unfit to lead, writes the editorial board.
50 votes -
Lion brothers in search of mates just set a record for longest known swim
8 votes -
Rio de Janeiro’s ‘narco-pentecostal’ gangs accused of ordering Catholic churches to close
11 votes -
PRISMA – Lost (2024)
3 votes