Edit: This community is amazing, thank you all for all of your suggestions. Feel free to keep them coming. I have a Google doc full of ideas with my comments that I'm going to drop on him. I was trying to respond to everyone and then discovered that Tildes will rate limit you. So if I don't respond to you, I'm sorry but I definitely read your comment and checked out your suggestions!

My friend suffers from depression and lives 6 hours away from me so the happiest I see him is when we are regularly gaming together. The problem is that I haven't been able to find a game we both wanted to play for a while.

I just cannot get into all the survival crafting games that seem to dominate co-op gaming these days. I am looking for suggestions for anything else. Also, it needs to be an online co-op instead of a couch co-op.

His computer isn't the best so that needs to be a consideration, nothing wrong with older games. Ideally we are talking about PC games on Steam.

Examples:

• we played a ton of Risk of Rain 2, probably the last game we played a lot together
• we have played through Halo co-op a bunch of times.

Who has ideas for me?

My apologies if there is already a thread about this. I did try searching and didn't turn anything up.

My daughter (9) is just about to finish the Harry Potter series. She saw Kim Stanley Robinson's Red Mars on the bookshelf and asked to read it next. It's been years since I read it, but I remember it being pretty complex and political. Much as I would enjoy discussing it with her, I think it might be a little bit ambitious for her first SF.

She read a Wrinkle in Time in school and has already listened to the Narnia books on audiobook.

I was thinking back to my own childhood reading, which was very eclectic because I was limited by what I could get at home or in my small town libraries. I remember Clarke, Asimov, Pohl, L'Engle, but also a healthy dose of Star Trek and Star Wars novels, and even the Death lands novels. It was mostly hard SF. I didn't really read much fantasy until grad school.

I feel like the landscape is pretty different now, with a lot more YA content in general and especially in the Fantasy/SF world. There are things with better representations and diversity as well. I spent an hour in the children's fiction section of our library, but I feel like it's difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff.

So Tilderinos, that are your recommendations or thoughts? I'm also interested in meta resources like book lists or reviewers that have been helpful to you. Much as I would like to read everything she reads, she has much more bandwidth than I do.

As I was writing this, my daughter came by and suggested I list some of her interests, which are: magic, dragons, wizards and witches, and being tired of having all happy endings. So while I'm not necessarily tied to SF and Fantasy only, that does seem like it will be the thin end of the wedge.

Edit:
I have compiled the recommendations from this thread into a spreadsheet listing each book or series with a short synopsis and other notes. I've also included the names of the books for most series. My apologies if I missed any.

I watch it every year, though it's not ideal to follow from the Pacific time zone of the United States.

My daughter and I always get up super early on Sunday morning (6 AM) to watch the last hour of the race. My dad has started coming over to our house to watch the last hour with us, too.

What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

Today is my last day at work and my boss wants me to BCC anyone I have ever sent an email to announce my departure.

I have tried exporting all my sent messages and trimming the list by advanced sorting out the duplicate email addresses in excel, but messages with multiple recipients are plentiful and need to have the emails separated into individual cells at the very least.

I also tried the .NK2 file route. I downloaded the MFCMAPI program to find my hidden autofill contact file, but it can only be exported as an .xml or .msg file and I don't know how to handle those files properly to get the data I need.

Does anyone here have a solution to automatically add every autofill contact on Outlook as BCC recipients for a final email?

EDIT: I found a solution that worked for both of us. I emailed the clients I remember as the most important and set up an automated reply to handle those I forgot to message.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

I'm trying to get away from the lifestyle of taking a shit ton of photos and then laboriously organizing them at a later date. I could totally take a photo, switch to the gallery app, select that photo, and then move it to the right folder, but as many tilders can probably relate, that is not conducive to the ADHD lifestyle. I need something at the point of contact.

Inspired by the recent post about Arrival / The Story of Your Life

The idea of linguistic relativity ... is a principle suggesting that the structure of a language influences its speakers' worldview or cognition, and thus individuals' languages determine or influence their perceptions of the world.

There's, of course, a lot more to it, many variations, and all still at least somewhat in dispute.

Nevertheless, as the title says, assume it's true, and speculate on which languages would be the most interesting to learn from an "expand your mind" perspective.

Hey all! I've been thinking about buying a domain and building a personal website for myself -- at this point just a personal website with links to my socials, my CV, maybe any interesting projects I want to publicize. Maybe someday I'll decide I want to add a blog or build a webapp or something, but for now it'll be something simple and static.

My programming experience is very much not in the frontend side of things (I'm a data scientist and mostly use python day-to-day). I played around with HTML messing with my Tumblr theme enough back in the day that I'm reasonably sure I can build something solidly web 1.0, and I've toyed with stuff like Jekyll in the past. But I was wondering if I could use this as an opportunity to build up some basic skills that I could put on my resume for the future. But I have no idea what's out there that would be useful and quick to learn but wouldn't be massive overkill for a project like this.

I also have no idea how web-hosting works and who to go with if I want to build a personal website myself rather than relying on something like Wix or Wordpress. Most of the easily-Google-able advice is for different use-cases. Advice is either people who want something user-friendly with minimal coding like Wordpress or it's for something properly big and commercial, neither of which is me.

Anyway, I know we've got a lot of suitably tech-y people here on Tildes, so I'm hoping people here have good advice for this sort of use case. Thanks!

Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like degoogling, elections and alex jones. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was suspecting.

But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

I've been in therapy for ten years.

Recently, I hit a local minimum. I saw where the rest of the curve would take me, if I did not change somehow. It would end me early—maybe even in a few years or less.

And I saw what was holding me back.

I've had emotional scars accumulated from an early age. That kind of trauma seems to have a way of becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy; my life has been replete with repeated traumas. I've been reliving those root traumas over and over again, in my own mind, overlaid atop later events that only found correlation due to triggering those old wounded emotions.

I understand this to be called "CPTSD" in more civilized parts of the world than where I live: the United States. (As far as I know, the DSM-V does not acknowledge CPTSD.) I digress.

In therapy, I had identified two deeply wounded "parts" of myself: one represented by an ostracized seventeen year old Exile who attempted in all but direct intent to end himself and the other an emotionally abused and rage-filled ten year old Inner Child.

Recently, I healed the seventeen year old part. I saw how it was hurting me. Its expectation, its fear, of exile fueled nearly half of my life. My therapist and I pushed on it. What was preventing me from changing?

It was the fear of what I would become without it. Would I lose my wife? Would I lose my identity? Would I lose everything?

But it was this or my life. So, in that moment, I made a choice.

Instead what happened was something unexpected. The Exile flourished. It was as though my teen and 20 something years had been rewritten: a Back to the Future moment. It was no longer The Exile. It was transformed into something else entirely. It became strong and confident. Tapping into that part, by choice, I now seem to be able face most situations that would once cause near panic with, instead, determination. I persevere. I even seem, at times, to flourish.

However, the rage-filled Child remains. He is more activistic. He still has the sense that he will be punished for some perceived wrong. When provoked, he doesn't feel anxiety from these imagined tortures, he feels rage.

In my meditations, now, I attempt to integrate with this newfound strength to then reach out to and show more compassion to the Child—to salve his fear and show him that we, together, as a being, are now strong. I am hopeful.

In these ways, I am remade.

I still recognize old pieces. And, yet, there is so much new, so much yet undiscovered, that I confound myself with what is now easy and what remains difficult (but difficult in new ways). I am increasingly kinder to myself, allowing more connection with others, particularly those I would once consider incompatible, and perhaps even beginning to become physically healthier.

I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Or, perhaps, I am only now stepping into that light, after decades.

How have you become more than your past traumas? How have you transformed for the better? How did you accomplish it?

EDIT: I shared this in the hope that it inspires. There can be healing, though it can take years and much effort. I would love to hear your stories of hope!

EDIT2: Feeling self-conscious, this all was decidedly not a humble brag. I never imagined that this sort of abrupt transformation was possible. However, it was a culmination of literally a decade of therapeutic intervention and hard work.

Alright, so one of my favorite things to do at night is throw on a great audiobook and play a video game...but it has to be a very specific type of video game. No meaningful dialogue or plot, no math or strategizing, and lots of hyper addictive gameplay that you can almost do subconsciously.

Here are the games I've found like this so far:

1. Trials Rising (and it's predecessors). I've actually made some global leaderboards in this game. It seems so simple when you start the campaign mode, then you learn about ninja mode and it's suddenly a different game.

2. Olli Olli world

3. Skater XL, Session, Skate series, Tony Hawk series

4. Lonely Mountains Downhill

5. Descenders

6. Any multiplayer shooter (COD, Fortnite, etc.)

7. Trackmania - not my thing but it definitely scratches this itch for a lot of people.

8. Mudrunner and Snowrunner series.

Here are some that did not work for me.

1. Sekiro - I just get too into it. Can't multitask.

2. Vampire Survivors - just not into it.

3. Rogue likes - never enjoyed them.

4. No Man's Sky - amazing game but I prefer to play it co-op. Already conquered it anyway.

Any other suggestions?

Ask almost anything

Last week had a focus on understanding. This week has the same focus but with a different angle.

Use this topic to ask almost any question you want to ask, including those you’re worried might come across poorly if brought up elsewhere.

If you feel equipped to answer a question, answer it!

Importantly: this is a safe space in which you can ask questions free from judgment. The vibe we're going for is a classroom, not a battleground.

Discussions like this can often cause intense emotions, but I want us to be especially vigilant in keeping this topic conflict- and aggression-free (see: Thermostat Rule below). If a fight breaks out in a classroom, learning stops, so conflict is counterproductive to our goals here. Disagreements are fine; disses are not. In all of these threads I have said that we should "be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots." Let's put that into practice here.

If you feel that a user is deliberately breaking any of the norms for this topic, do not engage them. It is more productive to simply mark their comment as noise and not respond. In the extremely rare case that you believe someone is actively intending to do harm, please mark their comment as malice.

Ground Rules

• Curiosity Rule: The reason that this is "ask almost anything" instead of "ask literally anything" is that your question has to come from a place of genuine curiosity -- you must honestly want to learn more. This is not a place to ask rhetorical questions to make a point or provocative questions to stir the pot.

• Good Faith Rule: assume all users here are acting in good faith and read their words in the best possible light. This goes for both those asking the questions and those answering as well.

• Thermostat Rule: the thermostat is set for this topic, meaning the heat should not rise. If you find that you might say something that would raise the temperature in the topic, please reword it, step away to cool down for a bit, or ignore the topic entirely.

Guidelines

• Experience Guideline: if a question is directed at people with specific identities/experiences, the bulk of their answers should come with people aligned with those identities/experiences. For example, a question directed at trans people should be primarily (but not necessarily exclusively) answered by trans people. The reason this is a guideline and not a rule is that there are many ways a rule would cut out valuable discourse -- e.g. people who are still questioning their identities; a cis person who wants to talk about the experiences of their trans partner, etc.

• Multiple Answers Guideline: even if a question has already been answered by someone else, it is okay to give another answer if you have more to add or a different perspective to share.

• Volunteer Guideline: if you are open to answering questions about specific topics, instead of making a top-level comment with a question, make a top level comment stating what you're willing to share about (e.g. "I'm happy to answer questions about ace spectrum terminology"). People can then respond to you directly with their questions.

Full Event Guidelines

Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics (especially this one!).

I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.

Schedule

I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
June 7th: What positive changes have you seen in your lifetime?
June 10th: What's something you wish more people understood?
June 13th: Ask almost anything
June 16th: (teaser: windows and mirrors)
June 19th:
June 22nd:
June 25th:
June 28th:

If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

Was just driving through a town in southern Manitoba and pulled over to take a break and saw these tiny homes: https://i.imgur.com/hG9NAGR.jpeg

Tiny homes have always intrigued me so I talked to the owner. Its in a trailer park and this was a lot that was available for development so they had 16 tiny homes built in three sizes. The smallest is a 510 sf one bedroom, then a slightly larger one bedroom and the biggest one is a 920 sf two bedroom.

They are "modular" homes which means they were manufactured in a factory a couple of hours away and trailered into the site. But despite the fact they travelled by trailer and that they sit on screwpiles instead of a foundation, they are fully built as regular homes.

Its cold here in winter (down to -40c) so the homes are super insulated with about 12" of insulation in the floor and ceiling and 6" in the walls with another 2" of foam insulation on the outside walls. They are completely heated by the mini split system with the addition of a convection electric heater in each room to keep them warm in the coldest part of winter. Amazingly in a place where my own bills for electricity can hit $250 in winter without heat, the most the owner said she paid was $80 for electricity including heat.

The interiors look like any regular home only smaller:https://i.imgur.com/aFufGMI.jpeg and definitely dont give the same vibe as a mobile home. It feels like a house with small rooms.

So far the 2 bedroom units are selling fairly well but the one bedrooms arent moving as easily. Part of the problem was covid. In this town a 'starter' home can easily be 350k and they were hoping to sell these from 80k to 120k. But during covid everything skyrocketed from materials to moving costs and the least expensive unit is now 175k and the biggest one is 220k. Add on the 350 a month for lot rent, which includes yard care/shovelling, and its pushing the envelope of what most would consider "affordable" anymore but there's not much they can do now to bring the price down.

Buyers so far tend to be those who are looking for tiny easy to care for space: a widow who sold her house and wants something small she can leave and go travelling, a guy who works for a railroad who's only home one week a month, a new immigrant family who are just happy to own something rather than pay the same amount in rent.

I applaud them for having a vision and actually pursuing it. There are some kinks to work out and it would be great if the prices could drop significantly but at least its an alternative to renting or buying an older mobile home. Its one of the first tiny home communities Ive seen up close and I came away with a positive impression. I think its going to be a great little community of tiny home lovers.

I picked ~misc and don't really have an idea of what tags would be appropriate. If there's stuff I can include in future posts like this I'll be glad to make sure they're there, just let me know. There probably won't be one for a long while but I'll remember. Technically I am advertising myself a bit, but I think I've framed it well enough that ya'll will see it's not really the point of the post. I'll never be bothering ya'll with offers and ads and shit.

This is a continuation from a post I made a while back about how it's going with the endeavor I've set in front of myself. In some ways, things proceed as I'd hoped, while in others there's been need for flexibility/adjustment. I wanted to give an update because a few big steps happened this past week which hopefully mean moving into a busier phase of the whole thing, and to add to the corpus, create the proof of what this all was as it begins if that makes sense.

The biggest thing has been an article published in our local paper. Two, actually, which were combined together into a front page spread I did not expect. Yes, there's a photo of us and our contact info in there, and yes, you're welcome to reach us if you've an idea for something you'd like to do. You'll be talking to me, and I'll be happy to go over details and land on pricing that actually does work for both of us. Primarily we are offering the space, with some ability to accommodate large groups and connections with folks who can provide stuff. It depends on what you want, how things will be priced. The less you need us to do, the less we need to charge. We don't want to regularly be a place where folks stay overnight, but I can probably swing that from time to time for someone coming from far away. If you aim to do something in the near term, do be aware it is hot as shit down here and very humid. The house is a-ok staying cool, but you'll want to be prepared for Mississippi in the summer. I have a dog too, so if you've got allergies you'll need to prep accordingly. She's gonna be 16 this year, she's nothing but friendly to people and sleeps a lot. Pets are welcome, provided they are house-trained and well behaved.

I am intentionally avoiding the internet on the whole for reasons I'll get into, but I do want to extend an offer to this forum in particular, as thanks for allowing me the space for expressing my thoughts as they took shape. I'm aware the site is public facing - what I'm going to share here is public already. I have to bite the bullet on sacrificing some anonymity and just try to control how that anonymity goes away, is how I've come to see it. You won't find me on social media, and what exists for the house/my grandmother is wildly out of date/largely inaccessible - it's gonna stay that way if all remains up to me, so this is just about the only way for someone outside of Brookhaven to know of us at this time. I'd like for at least a few people to know what we were up to, in a form that serves as proof of my intent from its actual beginnings. While the plan took shape before I ever wrote about it, it was in writing about it that I was able to make it clear to myself, what I aim to be doing, so I feel like it's part of completing things to share this stuff here.

The paper is very much a local thing, they got a few details wrong and you'll probably pick out how the quotes don't quite sound like me if you've read a lot of what I've posted. It's fine, the details in need of correction aren't critical. There isn't a lot in there about the more high-minded stuff I like to write about, because I'm not there yet. For now, it's simply building a business out of something, I have to make the something from which that business will spring. I'll think more about where it goes when I've got it moving. The article was free, which was pretty awesome. The paper is in a slow time, and it's mostly one guy doing a lot of the writing, they were just happy to have something to include. I think he did great.

The articles worked, too. I got calls the day the print version went out, and am expecting some followups soon to set dates and square away payment. I go walking downtown every day in the afternoon, and got some extra attention. While it's possible, while the pressure is light, I've been taking advantage by trying to advertise almost solely through word of mouth and face-to-face interactions, fully aware it will take a while for that to have an effect and that I may need to branch out fast if pressures change. Thus far, it's been the local paper, a print ad in a different paper that goes out primarily to local businesses, and a radio ad. There's a couple of reasons I've stuck to stuff like that.

The first is that I think it will provide a good foundation for sustaining the enterprise. If it's possible to have enough business to stay around purely from what exists around me, that means I can capitalize maximally if/when we do extend advertising outside our area, and it means security if for whatever reason those means can't be utilized. I don't want to be dependent on the internet for a livelihood if I can possibly manage it. It's not so principled a position that I'd refuse to do it at any point, rather it's like a back-pocket option, something to be engaged with strategically at what I determine to be either the proper time or because the needs have grown past what I can sustain without it, if that makes sense. My aim is to be a part of this town, to be of it, so I want to keep what we're doing as local and simple as possible. I have to be ready to constrain everything and take care of my grandmother too. I won't let that priority slip and will endure whatever hardship is necessary to fulfill it. It's easier to do that the smaller things are, a bit of a balancing act.

The second reason is much more practical and kind of silly. My grandmother's computer is the biggest security risk I think I've ever encountered in person. I refuse to introduce new online components when such a risk exists, if that makes sense, and I will endure whatever hit to efficiency/development it means until I can get it corrected. Her usage habits are minimal which is a lucky thing - she sticks to old fashioned stuff for almost everything. But, a priority of mine is that she can see and understand everything I'm doing, so I need this machine to be in a better state before I can take some of the steps with that. The challenge of it isn't technical at all, I could get the thing in good working order in a day, probably.

To give you an idea of what's difficult here, imagine for a moment you just ignored the internet as a whole since it began. You used it, you know how to do some stuff on it, but only by way of memorizing actions, the steps necessary to do a thing you wanted, a setup someone made for you. You never really engaged with what the stuff you use is designed for, you didn't follow how any of it developed, you're (blissfully, I'd say) unaware of pretty much that whole end of things. It's very difficult to explain the danger of something like an AI phishing scam, to someone who for all intents and purposes, never learned what phishing is, and further doesn't tend to believe in the shittiness of other people. That last part is one of the reasons I love my grandmother as much as I do, but it does make this task harder, and delays further action on my part.

I've gotten the machine to as secure a state as I can, and have gotten the data backed up, so hopefully movement really gets going on this and I can feel better about spreading out our net, so to speak. I think what frustrates me about it is having been there across years of time - a lot of why this machine is the way it is, is because other people took it upon themselves to "fix it" and almost none of them knew what the hell they were doing. They didn't explain anything to my grandmother either. Their interactions mean misunderstandings on my grandmother's part, and the lack of a foundation of knowledge means it's starting from zero in a way I have never actually encountered before doing this kind of work. I've gotten close, seen some pretty absurd things, but the lack here is just of a different kind, more complex than it seems. I've been writing about it separately/on my own because I think the experience stands as a sort of ultimate test of a lot of the stuff I did before I got here.

There is also health to think about. The priority, for now, is to set things up in a way which is compatible with what my grandmother can do. I'm trying to set up situations that let her do the things that make her happiest, and do all of the nitty-gritty shitty stuff myself. That means house maintenance, yard work, grocery shopping, cooking, arranging for stuff like an electrician when something breaks, learning how to do some of the fixing myself. I've only ever rented. I've never been in a position to maintain a house before, and as I'm sure plenty of you know far better than me, that's a good bit to learn all on its own. Especially with a home as old and complicated as this one with an owner who hasn't done a lot of that herself. Can't exactly tell me what needs doing when someone else was being paid to come do it for years. I feel good about it though, I like to learn and I like to fix things, and there's lots of opportunity. I've been able to eliminate a lot of costs and reduce regular expenses by taking on a lot of what others were doing and applying effective fixes to longstanding issues. It's very fulfilling, like getting to do the type of work I always hit a wall with in all my other workplaces, improve and optimize. That it's for my family brings together a lot of what matters the most to me, keeps me constantly motivated.

The town is nice too. It's been a few months so I've gotten more acclimated, the slower pace of things and friendlier atmosphere really does a lot for me. Here are a bunch of images of downtown I took on some of my walks. Because of the slower pace, I can be measured, precise, take the proper time to consider things and work out problems without feeling like I'm in some inner state of siege/under the gun all the time. At first I missed a lot of what was available to me elsewhere, but as time went on I came to realize a lot of that just didn't matter as much as I thought it did. As much as I love a good Indian restaurant and a computer store, not having them is not the detriment my mind used to pretend it was. Along with that has come an explosion of creativity, I've done a ridiculous amount of writing and reading, and am slowly getting myself up to snuff drawing things. The house exists on an art school campus, and from what I've gathered reading local magazines the presence of that school has done a ton to really give this place character and variety. My hope is to really lean into that, support it and see if we can have our space be a place for folks to work their creativity. Connections are taking shape and that's made me real happy to see. I cannot tell you how heartwarming it is, for example, to talk about this stuff with the guy who does a radio show and then hear him on the radio a day later saying "this place is really good you should go see it!" Folks are really beginning to grasp my aims when it comes to the scale and type of stuff we want to do, and I haven't really encountered much suspicion/doubt/etc. Folks tend to just trust the simple motives. I can't ask for more than that, the sense of gratitude I wake up with every day is beyond my ability to capture here.

So, there you go. Another step taken, one more further toward whatever comes, as precisely as I can manage to get to the goals. I wanted to post the followup because I said I'd do that and as part of the effort itself, share the vision and the way it plays out in the hope others spot what my eyes miss, and/or that they might take something useful for themselves from it. I'd love to read it if you have thoughts, opinions, advice, experience. Or if you just want to talk about the high minded stuff, I do like doing that. Helps me stay consistent. Anyway, i've said plenty, so off I go to walk around downtown again. I've got that phone on me all the time, call/text whenever (text if it's after 5pm CST, is my only request with that). As always, I very much appreciate you taking the time and giving me your attention.

Where do you find support and friendship? Who are the folks who encourage you and add positivity to your life? It can be anything from a local gym to a sewing group to an online forum. I'd love to hear about every's little supportive corners and community networks!

• this was kicked off by the Bro summer waits for us all thread.