So in about two weeks I'll be at a conference for a career path that I've been trying my best to get into for two years. It's a bit niche, having an overlap with science, tech and IT.

As such this conference represents opportunity for me, and given how low my morale is after rejection after rejection after rejection, something I really hope to see some result from.

Does anyone have any tips on how to network at such a conference?

It's hot here in Germany at the moment, and I've found a new hobby: experimenting with different ways to keep the flat cool. Unfortunately, right now I'm doing that mostly on gut feeling, and I'd like to add some data to the mix so I can pretend that this is Serious Research™.

Does anyone know of some good smart thermometers that I can use both inside and out, and that I can regularly take automatic readings off? My main criteria are roughly:

• Reasonably waterproof and battery-powered - I'd like to put at least one on my balcony which isn't covered, so I want to be confident that it survives out there.
• Relatively cheap - I want around 4-6 different thermometers spread around the inside and outside of the flat to see how the sun's position affects the temperature, and I don't want to spend more than around 100€ on this project in total.
• Scriptable - for the data collection, my plan is to be able to run a script on a spare Raspberry Pi to download all of the data and potentially send alerts when something changes or when it makes sense to start opening doors and windows to cool the flat down.
• Not too complicated - looking around, some thermometers seem to require smart hubs and online accounts and things. Ideally, I can avoid all that - I want something that I can connect to from my home network and download data from as I need.

Right now, I've found a few different smart temperature sensors that I can buy off-the-shelf, but these seem to be on the more complicated end of the spectrum, and require central hubs and uploading all the data to clouds and things like that. Ideally I can avoid that. Alternatively, I have some RPi Pico boards at home, so if I can buy some sensors that I can connect to those, I could get those set up more simply. But with the DIY route, I'm worried about weatherproofing, especially if the temperature sensor needs to remain fairly exposed for an accurate reading.

So: do you have any recommendations either for simple smart sensors that I can buy, or for sensors that I could easily stick to a Pico and leave outside for at least the rest of the summer months?

The topic has been on my mind lately and I'm thinking through my feelings. I'd appreciate hearing others' experiences and opinions to help with my approach.

For context, I have several close family members, including a parent, approaching retirement age. As they've been getting their affairs in order, I've been finding myself the recipient of either gifts or posthumous requests, which are sentimental to them but not me.

Its nothing outrageous. Examples of gifts are things like little decorations/mementos/childhood crafts, long held by them but which I've never seen before. In terms of requests, think along the lines of: I'd really love for you to learn X instrument because you're musical, or I'd love for you to take care of X income-generating hobby I started but you like (Im being a little vague).

I want to respect their feelings (even when I'm not overly sentimental) and help them feel comfortable as they get older, but I want also don't want to outright lie (eg, requests I can't promise to keep) or accrue things that, to me, are clutter.

How have you approached this, or similar scenarios with aging or dying loved ones? Did your opinions or feelings change as they continued to age or passed?

Most recently, I was using Redken All Soft. But now they are up to ~$52 / liter (for each of the shampoo and conditioner), so I am looking for something less expensive. I tried a Tresemme brand that they had at the warehouse store which was super cheap ($4/liter for each). It's been okay, but I feel like there might be something in the middle that is better.

For reference, I am male and my hair is coarse and wavy and these days about 3 inches long. I would also take recommendations for my wife and daughter, who both have fine wavy hair. I live in western Pennsylvania in the US, so I would need something that can be shipped here if it's not something generally available.

Help me Tildes! My refrigerator is leaking and I live in an apartment so I need to get a new fridge ASAP so that I don't cause water damage to my downstairs neighbors! Does anyone have a brand recommendation? All I really care about for this is avoiding brands that are known to be shitty.

I also will use this as an opportunity to replace the absolutely horrible microwave that came with this apartment. While all fridges are basically identical to me, I am very opinionated about microwaves:

• There must be a 30 second button that either starts the cooking or adds 30s more to the existing cooking
• 1-6 must be quick-access "microwave for this many minutes" buttons, so that i can press 1 and then 30 to microwave for 90s or 4 and then 30 for 4:30, etc
• I would really like a decent popcorn button that has a microphone to determine when to stop
• Multiple power levels that are actually good at being lower power (I am fine with power level 50 meaning "be on for 50% of the time" etc, I think that works pretty well)
• idk if this even needs to be said in the year 2024 but a spinning tray
• auto-stop on door open so I can press just 1 thing
• If I press 'stop' or open the microwave after it stops it's "haha I'm done" beeping sequence, it STOPS BEEPING (my current microwave keeps beeping even if I press stop and/or open the door and I hate it so so so so much)

Edit: Thanks everyone! Based on recs here I bought a fridge without an ice machine and not LG, and it will be installed on Monday! I don't live in a rented unit, but usually I just say "apartment" rather than "condo" when I'm talking about neighbors.

I didn't go for freezer on the bottom cos those all seem to be drawers and I guess I do have an opinion about fridges, which is that I don't want the freezer to be a drawer, I feel like I'd get too cold pulling things out of it. So I got freezer-on-top, fridge-on-bottom.

There was 1 microwave with all the features I wanted plus the feature I didn't know I wanted where the numbers are arranged the same as a phone instead of [12345][678910] in 2 rows (why would you reinvent how to display numbers like this????) so I bought that one, and everything will be delivered on Monday!

Every single backpack I've seen that is functional and has at least some basic organizational features (see Bellroy, Peak Design, Alpaka, etc.) is usually pretty ugly and makes you look like a weird tech bro. And every single backpack that looks good is usually made by a fashion company (eg Zara, Pull&Bear or luxury brands like Prada) and don't have any utility features, only a single big pocket and maybe a laptop sleeve if you're lucky.

I have managed to find one backpack that looks awesome and is actually useful - Sympl Day Backpack. However, I'm out of luck here, because it has been discontinued by the company, and their other backpack models also have that "tech nerd" look to them (although they're not as bad as some other options)

Do you, by any chance, know some backpacks that both look fashionable AND have more than two pockets at the same time?

Edit: there's also Topo Design Daypack Classic which looks good in the black and white variant, but it does lack some useful stuff like laptop sleeve padding

Edit 2: I managed to find another awesome looking backpack! The ISM Bag. I might actually get this one, although $300 is somewhat expensive

Today I had a small accomplishment that involved solving something I was pondering in the back of my mind all day. In the moment (and even still, a couple hours later), I felt a sense of pride.

But I know that in another week I won't even remember this feeling. I'll have moved on to some other event in life and feel things associated with that.

Which leads me to my question - is there an effective way to save a record of your accomplishments that will keep or re-ignite that emotional/chemical response?

We can even extend this into work life a bit as well. If you use an issue tracker or ticketing system, I'd imagine your completed tickets are lost to the abyss unless they need to be searched for in the future.

Personally, I think a journal is too verbose. But I'm open to ideas.

I have been dating a woman for coming up to 4 months, after matching on Hinge. I am completely head over heels for her, as is she for me. Due to respective childcare obligations, our physical time together is limited, but we text constantly, have frequent video and phone calls, and make an effort to find small, snatched windows to be together after bedtimes when geography and schedules allow.

I feel extraordinarily connected to this woman; our relationship has been characterised by laughter from the very first message on Hinge, and the time we spend together is both a) an unbridled joy, and b) doing that annoying thing where hours feel like minutes. I am fully aware that this is just a part of being in the honeymoon period, and that we haven't gotten into the more mundane parts of being in a long term relationship yet; but that they are inevitably coming down the line. However I could very much see this being the last relationship I ever have, inshallah. So I want to try and lay the groundwork for stability and security into the long term while we're still in the honeymoon period, with the idea being that when it ends we've got a strong foundation upon which we can move forwards.

I know you can't plan relationships, that every relationship is different, and that life has a way of throwing enormous curveballs your way. But as best I can, I would like to ensure that when the magic of the honeymoon ends, we have built something that will enable us to transition into lasting love. We've already talked in broad terms about things such as when we would meet each other's kids; the vague direction of the relationship in terms of living together, marriage, additional kids, and so on, but without timelines; and a little about our respective love languages and attachment styles. That all feels like simply sounding out compatibility, so I would like to know, what are the other conversations we should be having? Are there specific things that you wish you discovered or realised about your SO during the honeymoon phase? Is there something that we as a couple should be doing now to make our lives easier and better later on?

I was diagnosed with adult ADHD a few years ago. The first thing I focused on was structuring my schedule and environment to allow it to work to my advantage. This has helped immensely with improving myself and achieving my goals, I'd say even more so than medication has (then again, the meds helped me accomplish it in the first place).

However, it doesn't take much to push me off balance. Any unexpected events (frankly, even expected ones) can derail everything, and very quickly I feel this urge to go back to bed and start it all over again tomorrow. I'd liken it to maintaining momentum. Even things like doctor's appointments or mini vacations with my wife have me returning back to my life suddenly with no idea of how to manage it.

With my first kid on the way, I want to properly prepare myself. I've come to terms with the amount of focus and attention I'll have to give to him. In fact, it kind of sounds nice to recontextualize my life's purpose to just "keep this thing alive." However, I do have ambitions and lofty dreams that, if I'm being honest with myself, are THE reasons I get up in the morning.

I have no doubt I'll be able to recalibrate to this new life I'm about to enter and develop a new way of living that works for me, but I am curious if anyone has some tips or bits of wisdom to help make the transition quicker, easier, and smoother. To get through my day, I need to slowly pick up a head of steam and barrel through my tasks. How can I maintain this strategy with the frequent interruptions that are inherent to parenthood?

Thanks everyone. I'm very excited to have a mini-me.

Hi everyone,

As other Tildes members have expressed through multiple topics, finding friends as adult is hard. I'm currently trying to figure what's the best way to do this for me and I was hoping I could get some help. I've tried joining group activities like boardgame and table top RPG groups but while it's been good to make acquaintances I haven't been able to find someone I could call a friend. I know partly this is on me because it's hard for me to connect with others, but through repetition I'm hoping to get there eventually. I also thought recently maybe I should change or complement my approach with something else, which is why I'm here. Are there any good online platforms to make friends? I know that for the most part apps where the goal is to get people together are more geared towards romantic relationships, but that's not what I'm after, I'm looking for something strickly platonic. Ideally should be someone near me so that we're not restricted to only doing online activities.

Appreciate any help I can get here.

Given all the noise about whether President Biden is frail or cognitively compromised, I thought it would be interesting to informally survey Tildes denizens for their beliefs about aging.

These are purely conversational questions, each of which is so broad it could be its own topic - I have no skills as a demographer or pollster.

I also realize there may be national or ethnic definitions around who counts as venerable as opposed to senile, so I'll ask you to include nationality or relevant ethnicity in your response.

1. What decade of your life are you in - < 20, twenties, thirties, etc.
2. In what decade (see above) do you think old age begins?
3. What characterizes being "old" to you? For example, loss of sexual attractiveness, diminution of physical strength or stamina, illness, loss of mental agility, etc.
4. At what age do you think you will be too old to function as you want to in life?
5. Do you have experiences of aging (personal, family, acquaintances, caregiving roles) that give you concerns or hopes about your own future?
6. Do you believe age confers any benefits, and what might those be?
7. Assuming no catastrophic health events, do you believe life will seem better or worse to you as you age?
8. Do you feel like aging people are a burden to those younger?
9. Do you find yourself using pejorative words about age?

Full disclosure: There is evidence that what you believe about aging influences how well you age.

1. I'm in my 50's, US, ethnically Jewish.

2. My current inclination is to say that old age begins around age 75 in general, but I've met people who were what I'd call old at 30 and young at 90.

3. I know that various measures of peak {insert attribute here} start declining much earlier. 75 - 80 seems to be the point at which many things break down irreparably for the vast majority of people. That's the age range where the ability to live independently drops off, and that's what I count as "old".

4. I hope to be independent for at least another 25 years, but that's already somewhat determined by a limiting progressive condition. My experiences with aging are biased by highly educated people and super-ager relatives. There have been several centenarians in my family, each of whom was cognitively intact until death even if they were no longer completely independent physically.

5. I believe age confers the ability to recognize patterns based on cumulative experience. That's what passes for wisdom. The ability to acquire new memories and skills can be more rapid with connections to the previous body of knowledge. Socializing is definitely easier with many years of practice and the dulling of anxieties - the worst that can happen usually already did. For better or worse, people look up to you as a survivor and teacher...

6. Life will probably get better with age. I've had an extended time without a job followed by a job purely chosen, so I can say that "retirement" is likely to be much more productive and enjoyable both for self and society. I expect old age to be a time of reconnecting with others and doing the charitable activities I don't have flexibility to engage in now.

7. This is a tough one. At a general scale, we're encouraged to work as hard as possible to hoard resources that will ensure we have the means to maintain independence and purchase care when we're old. Rather, we could live lighter, share more, and build relationships which can sustain us. I count myself fortunate to avoid the burden that many others have endured when dealing with debilitated or demented relatives. And yet there are so many ways in which nations and cultures other than the U.S. do a better job of sharing care.

8. There's a lot of online discourse about greedy boomers, crumbly conservatives, and so on, but I think those are manufactured divisive narratives. I've been acquainted with so many people over the years who don't fit neatly into demographic or political boxes. On that evidence, I don't think any generation has a greater balance of virtue or vice compared to the others.

9. I use "adulting" and "old fart" self-denigratingly. I follow r/oldhagfashion for actual IDGAF style ideas.

I'm going to be a father soon. This kid was very much planned, and I've been pretty involved every step of the way, yet it still feels bizarre to say that out loud. At 26 (27 when the kid is born), I don't feel like a kid, but in some ways, I'm not sure I feel mature enough for parenthood.

I'm not too worried about the immediate logistical practicalities of parenthood. Things like how to clean, feed, and physically handle a newborn are things I can learn and seem fairly straightforward. Regarding what to get, I live within walking distance of a fairly well known baby supply store, so I figure I can just buy things as the need arises. I'm expecting that first month to be hard, but after I "figure out" the kid, I'm sure it'll be manageable. My folks did it, their folks did it, I'm sure I can do it too.

I guess what I'm really dwelling on is the more abstract aspects of fatherhood. I don't know what to expect and I don't really know what I don't know. What does it feel like? How should I prioritize my life? How do I figure out what's important and what isn't? I want to do what's best for the kid, but what does that even mean? How much is expecting too much from the kid? My wife wants the kid to be able to speak Russian, naturally, I want the kid to be able to speak English, and living in Japan, the kid will also have to pick up Japanese. Is that going to stunt the kid? I have so many questions and no one to really ask. I asked my own dad about it and all he said was something along the lines of "every kid is different, it might take a bit of time to really sink in that you're a dad" and that was that.

A bit of background about my situation:
On one hand, I'm in an okay place. I have a house with a very affordable mortgage, a modest, but stable career, and I live in a very safe part of Japan, which offers a lot of support for new parents. On the other hand, both my wife and I are thousands of miles from our respective families, so we're pretty much on our own and neither of are as fluent in the local language as we'd like to be.

When I was about 18 years old, I had a philosophy class where the teacher said this quote: "Things over which you do not have power should not have power over you." It could also be read as "control the things you control, ignore the rest".

That lesson really spoke to me. I put a lot of effort integrating it into my personality and I must say now, almost 15 years later, it made my life so much more enjoyable.

I used to get mad, really mad about stuff or get stressed about stuff out of my control, and I could never really remove those feelings. These words kept coming back to me and through some effort, I must say that I can more or less apply them in my everyday life now. It saved me a lot of trouble on various situations and has helped me break through problems way faster than I would have in the past, simply by helping me identify the things I could change and focus on those things.

I'm curious about you guys and your life stories. Has any lesson had as much impact on your life?

I love fashion and all things streetwear and sneakers, but I have a blind spot when it comes to suits and tuxedos. I don't need to ever dress formally at work since I work in tech, but I'm also at the age where I need to have suits for weddings and such.

I currently have a pretty nice dark grey suit that I bought for a couple of weddings a couple of years ago, but I need to go suit shopping again for just a normal black suit for upcoming weddings. Anyone have anything they look for specifically? I have an appointment at Suit Supply later tonight, but wanted to go in knowing a bit more!

What would your family do? What would a normal, healthy, supportive family do? (If different)

Hypothetical situation 1:

Two family members have had a major accident. No threat to their lives, some internal organ damage, some broken bones, not much other info is know. One of them is awake and can call/text for info, the other is in/out of surgeries and in ICU for the first two days.

A) immediately family drops everything and fly to their destination right away?

B) extended family do so?

C) discuss and send one person to go right away. Then discuss to arrange for longer term recovery + rehab care after hospital discharge

D) nothing, combo, or other ?

Hypothetical situation 2:

Family member is "not doing well", eg, mental health. Probably"moderate" level of suicide risk: no immediate plans, some reservations about morality and how devastated their partner would be, but constant ideation and philosophically don't see why not. CPTSD with more recent triggers of job loss and moving from away from a socially unsafe situation. Has entirely dropped out of communication with family. Their partner is reachable by phone or email or text and says the family member is not doing well at all and has ceased all outside of home activities such as getting mail, buying groceries, filling up the car or anything that involves other human beings.

What would a normal family do?

One of my kids and his friend really want to do a lemonade stand (or something to that effect) this summer. I'm not really liking the idea of selling actual lemonade but I was thinking maybe they could stuff some freezies in a cooler and walk over to a local dog park. A big part of me wants my kids to actually execute an idea rather than dream about it and not actually do it. I want them to learn about money to some degree and maybe learn some lessons about making money... potato quality clip from my favourite show

Did you ever do a lemonade stand (or similar) as a kid?

What are some other things they could sell that would actually work?

Would ice be enough to keep freezies cold or should I buy some dry ice?

Is this all a dumb idea?