Just coming back into the rental market after owning a home for a short time. I found a place that would be great. Then, I got the lease.

This thing is a nightmare. Here are a few of the greatest hits:

• The lease lists my rent and then says they can charge "additional rent" which is "all added charges, costs, and fees for the duration of this lease." So, sounds like they can just make up a number and add it to the rent and I have to pay it?
• The landlord will make a "good faith effort" to make the apartment available to me when my lease starts. Shouldn't the landlord actually do that, not just make any sort of "effort" to do it, "good faith" or otherwise?
• If the unit is damaged such that I cannot live there while repairs are being made, the landlord "may" issue me a credit for the days I can't live there. What criteria will the landlord use? If they decide not to, that means I'll be paying rent for an apartment I cannot occupy?

This is a short lease — I've seen much longer in my time renting — but even so, I could come up with a dozen more examples like this. What is going on here? I've read the law in the area, and I suspect some of the clauses in here are actually unenforceable. For example, the lease allows for automatic rent increases at lease renewal without notification while the law requires 60 days notification, and it requires me to notify 14 days after notification of a rent increase if I do not accept where the law says I have 30 days to do so.

But how did we get here? I just want to pay a specified amount every month in order to be able to live in a space someone else owns. This should be relatively simple, but it's turned into this weird whack-a-mole game where every lease is a document of all that landlord's past tenant grievances they are trying to now avoid in the future, along with any other unreasonable terms they think they can get away with. Regardless of what the law is, the lease can say anything. If I read it and decline to sign, the next person will probably just sign it and hope for the best.

For those of you who are renting, how do you deal with this sort of stuff? Are there reasonable landlords still out there? Is the right way to buy a home just to escape from unreasonable lease terms, even if you don't really want to own?

Update: Possibly important context- This property is in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

I've been a professional in the IT sector for the past 25 years, and during that time I've gone through several different methods of finding my next gig. Back when I started out, the internet was still a relatively new thing, so I got my first few positions by answering ads in the local newspaper (remember those?)

Two years ago, I decided to try my hand at writing novels, and while that has been quite fulfilling personally, it hasn't yet started to pay any bills so I've had to keep my IT skills sharp and hold down a standard job to pay the bills.

Now though, I find that I'm looking a lot harder at the companies and people I work for, and I'd like to be able to shop around a bit more for a position at a place that is more in line with me as a person.

To that end, I'm wondering what methods are more commonplace now for finding employment, as opposed to my standard, which is pretty much indeed and the occasional linkedin find. Which methods have you had the most success with?

How old were they and how long did it take you to get to a place where you were confident enough in their recall to let your dog(s) run around off-leash at the park or in a field?

My boy is 6 months old now and we've had him with us for 3 months. He's loose/ off-leash at home and his recall/ general engagement at home is very good but obviously there are still lots of exciting distractions out in the wider world. We still do plenty of recall games with him every week to build on it.

At the park we switch to a 15m long leash clipped to his harness and let him trot out in front of us and have a good sniff around. When we find a clear space to have a game of fetch, we'll let go of the leash but leave it attached to the harness just in case we need to stomp on it and retrieve him quickly.

Recall still seems decent at the park but I don't trust him enough to take that leash off completely yet - I don't think he'd come back straight away if there was a football or another dog that he could run to and play with. What have your experiences been like?

Edit: starting to realise this might be a very Europe-centric question, the laws for keeping dogs on a leash/ lead are very different in the UK

Canadian Thanksgiving is just around the corner. My wife and I usually host a small gathering for my wife’s immediate (mom, dad, sister, and grandparents) family at my house. Last year my sister-in-law asked whether she could bring her fiancé, which we were absolutely happy to have him over.

This year however, things are weird. They just got married within the last month, and I got a text from my SIL letting me know that she invited her mother-in-law to my house. I don’t have any problems with the woman, but I found it to be really rude for her to invite someone over to my house without even asking if it was okay.

My SIL is very self-centred most of the time. She expects people to just do whatever she wants to do, and rarely contributes anything. Usually for Thanksgiving I will cook the turkey and a couple of sides, and everyone else is responsible for bringing something (sides, dessert, buns, appies… anything they feel like bringing). She never brings anything except a container to bring leftovers home with her. She is like this with many other things. She has come camping with us and not brought any food for herself, because she is just assuming that we are going to feed her.

I love my wife’s family, but my SIL drives me insane. I find it incredibly rude that she just decided to invite someone to my house without asking. I don’t know what to do though. I feel like I need to call her out on it, but I also don’t want to ruin Thanksgiving.

I guess I have two questions:

Am I wrong to be upset about this?

If I’m not wrong, then what do I do about it?

I have been researching DIY Latex / Hybrid mattresses lately and have been thinking about pulling the trigger. I've been eying a full latex build, 3 inches of Firm, Medium, and Soft talalay (firm -> soft).I was able to find a good amount of information between Reddit (https://www.reddit.com/r/Mattress/comments/otdqms/diy_mattresses_an_introductory_guide/?rdt=54627) and Arizona Premium Mattresses, but I feel like I'm lacking information about people's anecdotal experiences.

Have you gone the DIY route before? Was it a success? Did you end up effectively buying multiple mattresses worth of components trying to dial it in? Looking back would you just buy a bed in a box? Any insight / tips would be very much appreciated.

I'm looking into insulating the attic above a closed-in back porch & the estimate also included adding additional insulation on top of the blown-in in the attic.

What kinds of factors can be used to think about the value of additional insulation?

For reference, I'm in Florida & keep setpoint around 80 degrees F most of the time when home, and 86 when not home. Power bills in the summer are in the $150-$180 USD range.

It's currently R27 and the quote is to add R11 to bring it up to R38. Code here appears to put new construction at R38 as a minimum, but looking at some charts - it looks like I might have already hit diminishing returns?

This chart I found on "Energy Vanguard" seems to suggest that going from 27 to 38 isn't much of a difference.

Does anyone else have any insight on when those diminishing returns are hit, and if it can make any appreciable difference in power bills? The house itself is comfortable enough, without large swings in temperature.

First post! This may be a silly thing to ask but whenever I try clothes at the shop it feels fine but after a few days there's always some little things that nagged me (like shirt that's sticky or pants got a bit tight if I walk or sit weird). I rarely buy new clothes so likely just lacking in experience. In case it's relevant, I'm male, skinny and has large hip.

Since pretty much the beginning of the year, I've been searching on-and-off for something WFH-related, but it feels like the only thing that ever calls me back is something that either defines itself as 'contract work', requires cold calling or sales (which is insanely stressful and comes with those good 'ol CommissionsTM!), or lists as remote but is actually hybrid.

I'm fine with tech support, customer support, data entry-- I just don't want a job that has "make your own hours!" or shift bids or whatever. And yet, I never hear back from anything that isn't either pseudo-telemarketing or something else that relies on commission in order to actually justify a viable living.

And don't get me started on the website applications. What in the fuck is the point of Indeed if every single major company just asks me to apply on their site afterwards, anyway? I already have all of this information, along with about 60 of those proficiency tests that are supposed to get me noticed, already filled out on Indeed. And even if I download my Indeed profile as a resume and upload it to another site, if I'm lucky it'll pull my previous employer's name and my job title. But that still means filling in contact information, references, and the whole shebang of everything else.

I've also tried to find something local that's not Remote, but unless I want something super-mega-corporate, full-time seems to be out of the picture.

So anyone have any suggestions? What do I do at this point? Indeed feels like how most people describe Tinder if you're a straight man, or finding a D&D group if you're not a DM.

Oh, as an aside: About 50% of WFH jobs seem to be related to medical in some way, and all of those require someone who already has experience in medical data entry or something already. How does that work? Ditto insurance companies, I guess.

My spouse and I went to dinner with my parents in law tonight. Father-IL can be hard in Mother-IL generally speaking, often picking on her and 'teasing' her. Mostly criticism. It can make things pretty uncomfortable, but as mid-westerners do, rarely my spouse or the other family people speak up unless it's to rib back in order to deflect or make it stop. FIL and MIL are both in their late 70's, so aging, and conservative catholic, so daily drinkers. We went to dinner tonight to celebrate my MIL's birthday. FIL is generally stressed out due to drama with his siblings/health issues/he's just a super stressed out person, and he ordered something in a wrap and asked for no onion. Meal came and there was onions. FIL complains passively to us and we say he should say something. He says, "no, no, no."

Server came and asked, "how is everything?"

FIL says "it's fine, it's fine"

MIL starts to say, "well..."

FIL interrupts with, "shut your mouth, MIL!"

Awkward silence...eat dinner when it comes...everyone is trying to act like nothing happened.

We finish dinner and we're finishing our drinks and MIL asks, "myspouse, are you okay?"

My spouse says stilted, "yeah, I'm fine."

MIL says, "world, are you okay?"

And out of me erupted, sternly but not with a yell, towards my FIL, "it's not okay to say 'shut your mouth' yo your wife."

Everyone got quiet. Then FIL tried to defend himself and say, "I've rarely ever said that, something something, I don't need this."

Then he shut me down so I just said, "heared, heard" and left.

He said in the car on the way home, "maybe I over reacted, but..."

And I said, "I shouldn't have said anything, I know you're under a lot of stress."

Now everything is awkward and strained and quiet. I don't need to be adding more to an already stressful life situation for older folk whom I do care about, but I couldn't hold my tongue. How does one strike balance in a situation like that?

Hi everyone... I am trying to build a gravity fed watering system for my ducks. I want to have a 5 gallon jug up top, and quarter inch tubing running down into the coop area. I have a float valve, and tubing, and brass compression fittings. Everything is a quarter inch, and everything is fitting together really nicely.

However, I have no idea what part I am supposed to get that connects the compression fitting to the upper jug. There has to be a part that goes inside the jug, has a washer of some kind, and pokes through the jug, so that the compression fitting can screw onto it. Otherwise there is nothing to hold that piece to the jug. Reference Image

I have never built anything like this and I am trying really hard. I've gone to three separate hardware stores to just kind of look at all the pieces, but it is so disorganized and all the tiny shelves just seem to contain random parts that don't match the label. There are acronyms I don't know and can't find any forums for this specific project. All the animal waterers that are online require a hose or electricity and I have neither of those, hence needing it to be gravity fed.

I am starting to get really really discouraged :( I don't even know what question I am supposed to be asking. I just want to connect the tubing into a 5 gallon jug without it leaking out, but right now I just have a compression fitting stuck into a hole in a jug and nothing keeping it in place and all the water leaks out the side. Apologies if this is the wrong section to post this.. Thank you in advance if you have any advice.

I have a roughly 23kg/50lb furball who is approaching 12. She had a CCL rupture 4 years ago, but the vet missed it and thought it was just strained; it wasn't until a year later and she was having leg weakness that I brought her to a different vet who assessed the old CCL injury and that as a result, the knee had developed arthritis. Since then, we have been treating it with pain management, weight loss, and joint supplements. I had asked that vet about surgery but their advice was that it's much more effective immediately and less so once the arthritis is settled in. Her right CCL ruptured later in that year since she'd been overexerting that leg (apparently most dogs who injure one will later injure the other); she immediately had the suture surgery and it went fantastically, with her regaining essentially normal use of that leg.

A few years on and the right leg remains strong but the left leg is weakening, with her starting to show some pain reactions to its use, and I'd like to get some opinions on paths forward. Despite her age she is still in excellent physical shape apart from the leg and I want to be sure her hopefully many years are happy and comfortable. Note this is not in lieu of vet advice (I am writing this from the vet waiting room), but more looking for people's experiences who have tried some of these.

So things I have been considering:

• Surgery of some kind - suture, TPLO, even artificial knee? Pro, fix the knee weakness. Con, with the recovery and risk, I am not confident it would save her more pain and discomfort long term than the procedure would cause. I also have a feeling a full joint replacement might be exorbitantly expensive.
• Physical therapy
• Orthopedic brace
• Accepting that I have an elder pupper and just trying to manage the symptoms :(

My spouse and I adopted a 9 week old Husky puppy this past weekend who is suffering greatly from separation anxiety and we are at a bit of a loss on how exactly to deal with it. This is not our first puppy or Husky puppy, but the separation anxiety is new territory for us. We have spent a lot of time reading guides on helping a puppy adjust to being on their own and talking with a close friend who is a vet tech, but I wanted to see if there are any things we may have overlooked.

Things we are already doing:

1. Daily walks - we typically take 2x 10-20 minute walks during the day, depending on the weather. We are in the southeastern part of the US and it is unbelievably hot during the day so we go early in the morning and late at night, afternoon is pretty much not an option with temperatures reaching the upper 90's.
2. Lots of play time - tug of war and fetch are the most entertaining for her right now. We also have a neighbor that adopted a German Shephard puppy that is about the same age and they have loved playing together.
3. Crate training - We have a crate in our room which she sleeps in overnight and one in our work area for during the day when she naps.

Things we are starting to implement:

1. Leaving the room for short amounts of time. We are giving her a treat that is only used for this type of training that she really likes in hopes that she associates us leaving as a good thing because she gets a yummy treat.
2. Returning to the room before she gets really anxious so she doesn't associate the crying and destructive behavior with us coming back.
3. She has two Kong toys that I am going to put yummy food in before we leave the room to keep her mind occupied on that instead of the fact that were not there.

I guess I'm looking to see if there are any other tips or tricks we haven't thought of? Any advice or things that worked for your puppies?

I've been struggling with finding a good workflow for taking notes on the journal articles which I read. I collate articles using Zotero, yet its in-built notetaking features (and comment scraping from PDFs) is quite poor. So, my alternative so far has been to write up notes by hand, but this is pretty cumbersome and makes it take some time to refer to my notes. My approach is clearly not effective!

How do you take notes on the papers which you read? Do you prefer to use written notes, or do you type your notes? In any case, what is your preferred means of storing and categorising your notes? And are there particular software which you use, if you opt for typed notes? (At present, I use an A5 notebook. Yet, this is not alphabetised or organised by topic, which compounds my struggles.)

So I've recently noticed that the hair on the top/back of my head is starting to thin. It's enough now that if my hair isn't brushed perfectly back you can see scalp through the thinner hair.

My dad went bald, so if I do too so be it -- but I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for good shampoo/products to delay and or repair.

Thanks

Hi, I have a weird cubic space in my garage wall due to the location of the chimney and stairs to the basement.
The lower edge of that cubic hole is at 41 inches (104 cm) from the floor. Its deep is 40 inches (101 cm). Width 39 inches (99 cm). Height 46 inches (117 cm).
Too deep for static shelves, I cannot reach the end. Too tall for sliding shelves (kind of drawer thing), I am 5'7'' (172 cm). In its current form, it is too much of a space for its practical use.
I thought that a carousel that moves shelves up and down (like in this design for shoes https://storagemotion.com/shoeselect/) but for heavier weights would be practical... I have no idea how to even name the parts to buy them, if they exist.
Also, I will appreciate suggestions for an alternative solution.
Thanks.
PS: located in Massachusetts, US.

One of the things I want to do when I purchase a home is not subscribe to the whole lawn culture, not just because I hate lawn care, but because I think they're ugly and boring. I want something a little more eco-friendly and more comfortable to be in. I'm thinking fast growing trees, bushes, tall plants, etc.

Has anyone on Tildes attempted such a conversion? What are some tips you'd recommend?

Apologies if this isn't in line with the spirit of the group/site but I'm just looking for some advice really.

I'm 27m and just feel really stuck career wise. I didn't do very well in school and it took me a lot longer than everyone else to figure out myself. I have a degree in a redundant subject (very niche, no value in any career). Before COVID I was finally able to get my live music photography work off the ground but then that came crashing down. Other than that I mostly only have experience in retail and hospitality, and I've been a manager in both fields.

I'm looking for a work from home job for multiple reasons, mostly customer success/account management jobs and have had a few interviews too. I even got down to the final 2 for a promising one a few months ago. Every single job basically said that it was only down to my lack of experience compared to other candidates, but they did like me.

What is there I can actually do to aide this? I'm just worried that the older I get with only retail management work the harder it will be for me to start a real career path. The whole thing is getting me really down and I just don't know what to do.

Thanks.

I am currently frustrated with having to pick another 2 hours of classes to take to maintain eligibility of a scholarship. I can't take any more major (CS) related classes, as I do not have all the prerequisites. I can't take any lower core classes as I have finished them all, from getting my general ed AA degree first. There are little filler electives I can take. One of them being first aid, a class that everyone says I need to take. However I do not want to take that class, it will be online and I had that professor for another online class last semester. I did not like the class at all. It was a read the textbook and answer the questions kind of class with no professor interaction at all. I think the first aid class will be exactly like that as well. There are some 1 hour classes I could choose from, however that would mean 2 more classes to juggle just to meet scholarship requirements. I am frustrated with this for multiple reasons, I'm indecisive, I've been putting it off all summer, and classes will start back very soon (aug 24th). I have tried talking to my family about it, but it ends up being a "you need to get this done" or a "just take the first aid course". They make choosing a class sound so simple when it is not as other stuff to juggle through. With it being so late it adds even more problems, as classes are filled up and deadlines are soon.

Does tildes have any advice about this? Anything you want to comment or add?

I struggle with trichotillomania which is a compulsion to pluck my own hair. Mine is focused primarily on my beard, resulting in unsightly bare patches. I am working through the mental health component of this condition already, but a better hair and skin care regiment could help reduce the triggers that start me plucking hairs.

I keep my beard relatively close cropped to my face. When the hairs in my bald patches start to regrow there is typically a lot of irritation which starts me touching my face, which leads me to find bumps like zits and blackheads and “weird hairs”, like kinky hairs, hairs growing in the wrong direction, particularly hard or soft hairs, anything that feels off when I run my fingers over them. This has the side effect of depositing more dirt and oils from my fingers onto my face, which creates a kind of feedback loop where the dirtier my face is the more I want to touch it, and the more I touch it the dirtier it gets. When I encounter these bumps and weird hairs I will want to pick at them and I won’t stop thinking about it until I do. It is a real struggle that I am working through and I figure if I can reduce that irritation that triggers it I’ll be less likely to touch and therefore pluck.

What I am hoping to find here are general care tips I can use for my short-cropped beard. What kind of products do you use for both the hairs themselves and your face, what methods do you use to trim, etc.? Currently I wash my face with a cleanser, followed by a toner, then a serum or lotion, but I don’t use any products specifically for my beard hairs themselves. I trim with an electric razor when my beard is between .5 and 1 inches long and I’ll trim it down to about 1/8 of an inch, or whatever setting 7, 8, or 9 is on my razor.

Tale as old as time, I suppose. Straight man doesn't understand women. I'm hoping this site will provide a healthy place to discuss my feelings and get wholesome input from others without it turning into a pity party or cesspool.

I didn't have any interest in dating until after I'd graduated college. Unfortunately, I immediately moved to an area of the country notorious for its unfavorable gender ratio. There are many more men than women here which means I'm starting on hard mode. I do at least have some traits which make things easier than for most. I am high earning, reasonably fit (not super cut but I work out most days), tall and I believe mentally healthy. However I can tell that my approach doesn't really catch with most people.

I've had limited success out here. Some of my failures are mine to own. Getting started from nothing means I'm venturing into the unknown. I'm a naturally anxious person and never felt any intuition in social situations. Thankfully I've managed to figure out a way of being that jives with some people and learned the hard way the things I do that don't jive so well. But dating seems to have its own social rules - and they're harder to learn due to all of the misinformation.

To sort out a lot of the misinformation I look to the people I see with the greatest degree of success. The older couples that are clearly deeply happy. My parents do pretty well in that regard. They've been married for 30-ish years with nothing more than a short argument between them. Or maybe I'll talk with an older co-worker who loves his wife the same way he did decades ago. People say that all happy families are the same, and unhappy families each broken in their own way. It's clear that there are some things in common with the happy couples - a universal recipe for happiness and success.

• Forgiveness
• Consistent effort
• Flexibility
• Similar values

I try to take these virtues with me when dating.

Of course, mutual attraction is a black box and also plays an important role. I've tried dating women that are just outside of what I would consider attractive. I think it's important to know what truly is important to me. But I found that things did not feel right and I can't compromise in that way. I'm not looking for a 10. But if I know they are not attractive to me it won't work.

In the normal world (outside of online dating) I think the odds of a random person being instantly notably attractive are very low. Someone needs to be sufficiently aesthetically attractive, but also have the right mind and soul. Without the latter two I have no interest. So for me when I've met a nice woman from a dating app the process of learning more about this person begins - and it can take a while to truly get to know someone. But I draw on the virtue of effort and am more than willing to make that an active process as we get closer.

There are actually some people out there that this all seems to align with. I think it's mostly a matter of time before I find the right person - so I'm not entirely discouraged. But the vast majority of women I meet seem to have the same feedback. They don't feel a connection - maybe that translates to "they're not attracted enough to me", maybe it's something else. But what I call a "connection" is something that can't be absolutely determined after one date.

Given my profile pictures are representative of my appearance, I don't think they're all saying I'm aesthetically unattractive to them. Sure, some might decide after meeting me that they aren't as attracted in person. I experience that for myself some of the time. But I suspect that much of the time this is more of a mismatched approach. I really want to know either how better to find my kind of person, or what ways I can adapt to be flexible for the women I'm dating.

Edit: Thank you everyone for your thoughts!

A lot of people said a lot of things, many of which sounds right to me but only a few I think are applicable as next steps.

1. My own reflection leads me to believe that being more present and less analytical will make dates more enjoyable and productive for both people.
2. Keeping a very long term goal in mind cripples the dynamic of early dating. It requires future prediction abilities beyond what a human can do.
3. I don't know if I can be the "fun guy" all the time but I can definitely increase the amount of fun.

I wrote up a journal entry about what I wrote here and everyone's responses. I'll bring up my thoughts with my therapist later. Maybe this is weird but I threw the journal entry into ChatGPT. If nothing else it was positive and cheerful, which is helpful. But I was able to drill down on a few different things and got answers that sound reasonable. This is surely a common enough topic that it's got good training data for it.

I'd also like to say, for whoever reads my comments, that much of what I wrote is more about following a thought as far as it will go more so than putting my internal constitution into writing. I'm here to be as malleable as I need to be.

In a few weeks I'm starting a new position at work that will be 7p-7a, 2 days in a row (each week, so work for 2 days, off for 5). It'll be a sort of "on call" type position that will have busier spats at the beginning and end of the shift, but the middle tends to be slow, occasionally no work at all. My employer doesn't have any major restrictions as far as work downtime, I have a lot of freedom there.

What tips do y'all have for managing sleep surrounding overnight shifts, and also maintaining alertness/awakeness during the overnight shifts?

Does anyone know of any good resources for helping kids understand when their dad is not their bio dad? My brother is not his eldests bio dad. Some bullying/ nastiness means my Bro and his Mrs are sitting the kid down today (on an expedited schedule) to tell him and explain hes not a mistake etc. Are there any good educational bits anyone might know of?

I am putting a new surface on my Deck. I am using Trex and 2.5" composite specific screws. These are small head screws with a T20 torx bit.

[img]https://i.ibb.co/MchtXPx/20230628-175119.jpg[/img]

I am 7.5 boards in out of 25 boards and I have destroyed 5 bits, 3 of them brand name impact rated bits. I am making sure to stay cammed in, and weight on top of the screw. I am lining the drill up with the angle of the screw. I am also predrilling every hole.

I feel like I have to be doing something wrong. I just don't know what else to do.

Edit - these are the exact screws I am using - https://www.homedepot.com/p/Grip-Rite-9-x-2-1-2-in-Brown-Star-Drive-Pan-Head-Coarse-Composite-Deck-Screw-10-lbs-Pack-N212CSB10BK/207193648

My poor beautiful boy is really going through it at the moment. He's just shy of 5 months and puberty is hitting him like a truck - he's lost two of his puppy teeth in a week, his adult coat is coming through in patches and now he's suddenly becoming terrified of people with seemingly no rhyme or reason.

Strangers (even strangers we walked past 30 minutes ago with no issue), family members that he'd spent the last 4-5 hours around on a visit and yesterday even my partner who's been there since day 1 and takes him out on walks and plays with him every day! It's not constant either; when my partner tentatively came downstairs to go to work this morning it was all smiles and waggy tails like nothing had happened.

I understand this is a pretty normal stage in a dog's development so we've just got to try and endure it until it passes. I've tried leash corrections and moving away, getting him to focus on me and rewarding him when he does, as well as inching closer and getting the scary person to throw treats at a distance when that's feasible. I know teaching him sit/ down would be extremely helpful and we're prioritising that.

I've also booked a 1-2-1 training appointment for the end of this week so hopefully a professional can help us figure things out but I'm hoping to hear from any fellow puppy owners. How did you cope with fear periods? Any tips?

Edit to specify: he's a belgian shepherd. We've had him for just over 5 weeks now.

Thank you so much everyone for your comments so far! The big theme is tiredness so I'm starting to get a plan of action together for dealing with this today:

• light physical activity, training and brain games in the morning/ afternoon
• main physical activity after work to get him good and tired
• keep an eye on his energy levels and try to create some structured naptimes

Also:

• carefully consider puppy classes
• if we have to go visiting, take familiar bedding
• rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat

We'll go to the park again straight after work as we always have in the spirit of consistency and hopefully get good and weary before my partner gets back tonight.

I've got a basic garage in the backyard - essentially a sheet metal shed with a concrete floor. It would have been built in the 1980s so I doubt the concrete slab had a water barrier - or if it did it probably wore away over time.

When we have wet weather, the concrete gets damp underneath items on the floor - like rubber mats etc. There's also some mineral staining. Doing some reading online, it looks like concrete efflorescence.

I'm considering demolishing the shed and building a better workshop (insulated etc.) on the existing concrete slab. Can I make the existing slab a usable floor by sealing it with something like epoxy? Or would I be better off using the slab as a footing and building the new structure on posts with a separate floor suspended above the slab?

My goal is to avoid getting any damp or mould in the new structure.

I have a cavalier king charles spaniel that has had some unfortunate health issues for the past few years. The most pressing one that I haven't been able to nail down and fix is her GI issues. Every now and then, she has an all night bout of diarrhea even though the only food she has eaten is her hydrolyzed protein dog food. I remember reading about FMT years ago for people who had GI issues and I'm wondering what the results have been for dogs (and other animals). It seems counter intuitive to fight shit with more shit, but at this point I am willing to try most non-invasive treatments. While taking her to the dog park and asking other dog owners if my dog can eat their dog's poo would be the cheapest option, instead I found a site that purportedly has capsules available.

https://doggybiome.com/dog-products-for-diarrhea/

However, because it is difficult to find more information about this company and because I don't want imagine how this type of business (if it worked) could scale up as an industrial factory farm, I am skeptical.

Any thoughts on treating IBD in dogs for an allergy prone, and sensitive dog? She is already getting fiber and she sometimes gets probiotic with her food.

I’ve always been a bit nervous of bleach. My white counters in the kitchen have been picking up stains, so I bought some bleach and have left it to sit. Hooray, the stains are gone!

BUT. Then I googled some bleach tips and discovered that you absolutely shouldn’t use undiluted bleach on your counters because it can ruin them 🤦🏻‍♀️

I didn’t pick up a lot of cleaning knowledge from my parents, and it’s been a lot of trial and error (so much error) figuring out how to keep everything clean enough. Now I have schedules and products and I do a pretty good job of it, but I moved out of home at 18 and I’m now 36 so it’s been literally half my life getting to this point.

So… what cleaning tips and tricks do you have? What product (remember to specify which country you’re in!) can you absolutely not do without? What products can be used for something unusual? Let’s hear it!

I've been doing a postdoc in molecular biology in academia for a little while now, and getting ready to take next step. I'm looking into industry careers, but it's difficult to know what they entail since we don't often get exposed to them.

If you or someone you know works in biotech, I'd love to hear about it.

How did you get into it? What do you enjoy or not enjoy? Where do you see the industry heading? What are some of the positions like?

I'm thinking first order of business is cleaning and then I'd like to paint, and then cleaning up the unkept yard. But I still haven't even moved yet and I know reality will be different.

Does anyone who's been in this situation before have some general advice?

My spouse and I were recently pre approved for a home loan; this evening, we will be going to look at a house for the first time. This will be our first house, and unless truly extenuating circumstances arise, we will not be looking to move or sell anytime soon.

There are plenty of existing threads and articles covering things to look for in terms of the state of the house itself, such as foundation cracks, new paint covering mold, water damage, etc; what I am looking for is more a question of things to consider potentially liking or disliking about a home, regardless of its state of repair, that we might not think of until it's too late.

For example, some things I've come across that are important and can't be changed about a house, but I wouldn't have thought to consider if I hadn't seen someone else mention them, include:

• whether we get good cell service when not using wi-fi
• whether the hallway is wide enough to move large furniture through
• what direction the house faces, and subsequently when/where light comes in

What other things might be easy to overlook about a property, but should be taken into account?

Hi,

I have a planted tank of 160L/about 40 US gallons. I had a few problems and want to get a center piece fish, but I also want to ask what might've gone wrong with my betta's. So this is a long post, sorry. I'll put a tl;dr in the end.

Currently there are 6 celebes rainbowfish, 2 hillstream loaches (P. Myersi), a whole bunch of bronze corydoras (they had offspring, ~12 fish), and 4 amano xl shrimps.

No ammonia and nitrites, I did get way too high nitrates but that's more and more under control (~50ppm now). The filter is a Sicce Whale 350 and there are two bubblers (Eheim 200 split in two bubblers IIRC). Temperature is about 25-26°C (77-79F).

I used to keep a singular betta in the tank with the cories and celebes, but I have had the worst luck with them. Three died in about 1.5 years. One disappeared while I was on vacation, so I don't fully know what happened (family came to check up on them, but they were also perplexed). The second one was sickly from the start and kind of wasted away with clear dropsy at the end.
The third one got stuck in a little glass vase I put on the glass with an anubia pinto plant. I got him out but he was barely alive, and although he seemed to slowly get better he eventually died of dropsy (but without clear signs of infection) in the end too.

My current working theory is that the tank is too busy, but as long as the betta is healthy it's fine. Yet betta's can't be fine all the time, and my nitrate spikes didn't help of course.

I also don't give the bigger betta pellets as the main feed anymore since the last one died of dropsy without clear signs of infection (I still have a betta in another 70l/20 gallon planted tank with shrimps), but I'm not fully sure if that's a factor that really mattered. Still, I feel like they can disrupt the digestion (especially since I tend to give too much of it) (I try not to).

I also tend to go for calmer betta's in the LFS that will probably not mess too much with my other fish in the community tank, but the second one was in retrospect too calm and hidey.
In theory they like almost still water, but I have a lot of resting places (esp near the surface), choose betta's with smaller fins and keep an eye out that they don't get thrown around in the tank.

So I'm looking for a centre piece fish with lots of personality, but who will most likely leave my other fish alone. I can return them to the LFS if it doesn't really work out, or if they don't need much space I have a 30l quarantine tank running in the background. So I can manouvre if it doesn't work out, but still.

I tried honey gourami's, but my Celebes fish were scared of them and only stayed between the plants. They were also quite dominant actually. I'm pretty sensitive about agression in my tank.

I'd love to just get another betta, but I don't want to guinea pig one after another till I perhaps find out my tank truly is too busy for them.

Tl;dr: want another fish in stead of betta's, that can handle other busybodies but doesn't dominate. No honey gourami's or livebearers please.

I'm in England, this is going to matter with this.

My wife's business has outgrown a small office space. She does HTV clothing and accessories, mugs, etc. Basically, personalised vinyl and sublimation. The equipment she uses is large, A3 printers, dye cutter (Cricut but about to get an A2 bad boy) and probably an A2 printer too.

I've been looking for 5m squared log cabins and similar. Something like this would be an ideal shape. One wall, floor to ceiling, will be dedicated to storage of vinyl, mugs, t shirts, etc. hence thinking there's no point in going A frame style.

I'm assuming 15cm deep concrete base by whatever size the cabin will be, squared, plus 30cm to make sure the base is big enough.

Thoughts?

Do I build something myself or spend out on the Lego cabin style everyone seems to be selling in 44mm timber? Do I put in the base and build my own cabin around it using straight timber and sheet materials from merchants?

There's two main factors for me, cost and insulation. As she's using it for storing clothing it needs to not get damp so it'll need to be a good material and probably will need a dehumidifier in and on all year round when the door is closed. Do I sheet in layers with insulation foam?

Anyway, you get the idea. Links and general advice is welcome.

I've been having a particularly rough time finding a new job in the field I graduated in. I'm doing pretty much everything most job sites have told me but networking is kinda hard.

I don't currently work in my field so I don't know anyone that would be particularly useful. Everyone I know is already aware of my situation and some of them have even found leads for me but no luck yet.

I have gone to events related to organizations I'm interested in and spoken to people there but it feels super weird to just approach people and tell them I'm looking for a job.

Similarly Linkedin is super foreign to me. This post is literally the most I've ever interacted with a social media site. What do I do once I open that app? Am I supposed to just stalk people on there that might hire me someday? I tried joining a "group" but it's been pending for a week now.

I'm sad to admit it, but several members of my household have a crippling egg addiction and all our local suppliers are getting pretty stingy with prices. So we're breaking into the supply chain and getting the good stuff right at the source

But seriously, looking to get some chickens soon and it's been difficult finding spesific details. Most of the resources I see either paint chickens as exceptionally easy and self sufficient, or details extremely technical info for business farmers. Just based on the info I can put together, I'm building a small coop (2.5m^2) and fencing a run that can extend out to about 10m^2. Think it should be enough for 5 or 6 birds and I'll line the house out with plenty of straw and make a little nesting nook. I'll need to let them out in the morning, feed them grain and kitchen scraps, close them up at night and keep a temporary pen for broody hens.

Is that it? Do I have to get spesific breeds or types? Will it be better to raise them from young or just get fully grown? Temps range from -5C to 32C trough the year so do they need insulation or cooling? Are the eggs just safe to eat straight out the chicken? What are the best chicken pun names?

Most importantly, are they good to keep around kids? My toddler has a very... enthusiastic love for animals but I know birds will not put up with her the way the cats or dog do. And is there any hygiene or parasite risks I need to be aware of?

Would really appreciate any advice or anecdotes people have to share about these animals.

I just changed rooms, and my new neighbor makes noise. It's not much of a problem for other people, but I wake up at the slightest sound or the slightest change in lighting. Because of this, I am not able to sleep properly. I have tried earbuds and earplugs, but they hurt my ears. Can you suggest how I can become a heavy sleeper? Or how to sleep in this environment?

This week marks my 8th year of working in IT, and I have been feeling more and more that I am ready to move onto something different. Both my undergraduate and masters degrees were in the arts (Japanese, and Linguistics respectively), and I just sort of fell into IT as a job because I was always good with computers and it seemed like it had a pretty great pay-to-effort ratio. Now that I am approaching the decade mark, I feel like it's not what I want to do any more. Even my current job (which I once described as my dream role) has lost its sheen, and the prospect of spending the rest of my working life having to study and learn new technologies, and keep up with the latest developments just fills me with dread. I don't want to be in my fifties and reading endless documentation to try and understand why MacJibbleGPT is now the preferred way to skilter a virtualised quallock. In short, I would like to relegate my computing to the level of "hobby."

The problem is, I really don't know what I would like to do instead. The last time I had an idea of a career that I wanted to follow was as a teenager when I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn't get the grades. Since then I've just sort of fallen from thing to thing, and been a bit directionless, just assuming that IT would be enough to carry me through my working life, and focus on my hobbies for fulfilment. Well my hobbies are now very fulfilling, but they just make the slog of the work day even harder.

So how do I go about figuring out what it is that I want to do? I have done a few quizzes online (via reputable organisations), I've contemplated the jobs of my friends and family, and I still just feel like nothing is inspiring me. There are a few problems that I need to try and work around with finding something new as well:

• At least for the next 6 years or so, I am geographically fairly restricted to being within a reasonable driving distance to my daughter's home
• Shit is expensive, so I need to minimise the hit to my salary
• I do not have the money to get a degree or similar vocational qualification
• I would like stable hours, and not to work weekends or evenings (this is more job-specific than it is career-specific)
• Hybrid working is preferable to full-time in the office or full-time WFH (ditto)

So I ask my fellow Tilderen, have you ever pivoted into a completely different career after several years of investing your time into another? How did it go? How did you go about figuring out what you wanted to do instead? What advice would you have for me, a nearly-31-year-old who still has most of her working life ahead of her?

I'm in a fortunate position of being in a reasonably well compensated but very specialised role in the pharma industry, and after some recent layoffs have been casually surveying what other opportunities might be out there.

However, I'm really struggling to get a sense of my market value, as little to none of the salary info on e.g. Glassdoor or published surveys from recruitment bodies captures anything similar to my position.

My compensation is way off published ranges I can find, so I don't know if I have "golden handcuffs" or if the data I am looking to is garbage.

In effect, my position developed organically over a few years, and has bits of middle management as well as governance, project management and individual contributor work. I don't think there is even anyone within my organisation with a similar role, I have several responsibilities which normally you wouldn't concentrate under one individual if you were designing from the ground up.

I'd be really interested if anyone has been in a similar position, or any recommendations to on how to benchmark yourself when it isn't obvious what you should be benchmarking against.

I had my 5th kid a few weeks ago and now have a vasectomy scheduled for early August. Any tips or suggestions for prep or recovery? They gave me some general advice regarding compression shorts, ice, rest...

Related question for those of you don't having kids or firmly decided against kids and didn't get a vasectomy: why not? I'm curious what methods you're using to prevent having kids.

I have an 8 year old blind silky terrier that seems to have all but lost his hearing after last night. I took him out last night and a neighbor unexpectedly set off fireworks. The display lasted for about five minutes and he didn't seem scared. I moved him away, but not completely away.

Since this morning he's been unresponsive to calls and sounds. He hasn't been wagging his tail much, has been bumping into the things in the apartment, and wasn't interested in his leash.

I've got a vet appointment for tomorrow morning. Is there anything I can do to help? Is this a common occurrence? He's my first dog and he just seems so lost

Update (copied from a comment):

His hearing has been improving tremendously. The carprofen the vet prescribed helped a lot, IMO. He's able to hear about 80% as well as he could before, though it takes him a little bit to understand. At least until he takes his medicine, then he can hear a bit better.

However, yesterday morning on his walk his front left paw started twitching and spasming uncontrollably. Poor guy was hopping around, could barely stand or even sit. He didn't seem hurt and there weren't any signs of injury (bee sting, bug bite, cuts, etc.). Took him to the emergency room immediately and they prescribed him some gabapentin. Fortunately the spasms went away and he's running and jumping around again

A friend and their partner got into a heated squabble about bread clips. My friend is a staunch defender of the clip; his partner prefers to tie the end of the bag into a knot. They recently bought a home together, and I would like to gift them a lifetime supply of bread clips. I'm unsure of the exact amount, but I'm thinking whatever amount is visually shocking would be good enough. Maybe 1000, maybe 10,000. I'm having trouble sourcing a suppler. Does anyone know of one? TIA

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bread_clip

Hello,

I’m soon to become a father to my firstborn child and have the opportunity to take some paternity leave through work. While the length of time I can take is very generous (as far as I know), I’m truly unsure how much is usually the norm for fathers.

I work in a stable office job, while my wife is self employed and will be taking 3 months off. I am leaning towards taking the week after birth off and intermittently working from home afterwards as needed, as even with leave I would most likely not receive my full 100% pay, which we will definitely need. In addition to the financial impact, my daily work usually consists of stuff that my coworkers would be unable or struggle with staying on top of, and I do not want to put any extra burden on them, or have tasks not completed merely to back up until my return.

Any advice or comments would be much appreciated as I am struggling to figure this out!

In the next few months, I'm going to be on the rental market again for the first time in a couple of years. The last time I rented, I lucked into a very nice condo that was being rented out by the owner, and it was fantastic. We developed a great rapport. I looked after the place and paid the rent on time. She was kind and responsive whenever I had a problem. It felt like we were both getting exactly what we needed out of the arrangement.

She wanted to raise the rent when my lease renewed, but it was a very reasonable ask to cover an increase in her HOA fees. It was significantly less any increase than I had been subjected to on any prior lease renewal, which I appreciated.

After experiencing this, I decided I was done with corporate landlords who use algorithms (i.e., price fixing) to make sure they're extracting as much cash as possible and churning through tenants as they progressively price out more and more people without any regard for them and with no connection to the communities they're hollowing out on the way to more profit.

I ended up leaving that condo for a reason unrelated to the rent increase, and I'm trying to find a similar setup again… but I'm not sure where to look honestly. Pretty sure I found that place on Craigslist which seems to have since devolved into a playground for scammy "landlords" whose dear old mothers have all come up sick in some far away corner of the country so they can't show me the furnished apartment they're renting for 20% below market rate, but if I'll kindly send the deposit, they'll gladly mail me the keys.

Does anyone have any hot tips for how to find rentals like this in major metropolitan areas in the US?

I'm a few years out of college and just landed my first "career" job last fall as an operations manager at a non-tech company. I enjoy the work and am learning a lot, but the work/life balance leaves a bit to be desired with very limited PTO days. My girlfriend and I want to move to the Denver area about a year from now and I want to try to get a job in the tech industry doing operations or project management.

Have any of you been in my position before? What kind of jobs can someone with about 2 years of operations management experience find to get them on the project manager track at a tech company?

My parents are great. That being said, every time my 2.5 year-old comes home it is bananas. They are so over stimulated, who knows what they have eaten. Usually screaming and in just in a state of complete deregulation. I can’t tell if I just need to deal with it as part of grandparent time. We don’t correct my parents, we do offer suggestions and give them food and snacks etc but inevitably what is eaten is some sugary cereal and junk.

Do any of you deal with this? Do I need to chill out? I am writing this as my child falls asleep after screaming for 2 hrs. So I am a still a little frustrated.

For context: I'm going from southern California to Salt Lake City, Utah, and I'm moving for work. I've never lived alone for an extended period of time before. I figure I've got a handle on it, but there's always something that I forget or don't know, so I'd like to ask you all for advice.

This is a general ask for those that successfully made pivots in their overall careers. What was your experience like? Why did you make it? Did you feel like when you made the pivot you were starting from the bottom? or did you gradually change roles within a single company to ease yourself into the transition?

I'm currently trying to make a change of career (hence the question). My goal is to pivot out of a market research role into a software engineer focused role. Worry constantly creeps in about feasibility. I make good money in the role I'm in so could I take a possible hit to my salary if I had to start in a junior role? I turn 29 this year, and part of me worries if I'm too far down the path to make such a big change. Now, I've tempered some of the fear as I know I could apply my knowledge of research to create tools I've seen the industry in need of. I've dabbled in common languages like HTML, CSS, Lua, JS, Python, and R during my time in research.

Now, I think I've compiled the 3 hardest questions regarding my specific apprehension of moving into software development:

1. Is there like a collectively agreed all-around language that everyone should start with?
2. Is there a formal way to learn a coding language?
3. Even with such little experience, could I still build a solid career in the field?

I don't expect anyone to answer those last three if they don't want to, but I'd love to hear about any and all experiences with career pivots.