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    1. New Music Fridays: MGMT, SZA, Real Estate, and more

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your...

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your eye and interest, or share your thoughts about any new music that you've had the chance to listen to this week.

      Discussion Points
      Is there anything you've been looking forward to listening to?
      Any releases that have surprised you?
      Have you listened to any new music recently? What are your thoughts?
      What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past? How does their latest work compare?

      Links:
      Pitchfork - Out This Week
      AllMusic - All New Releases
      Stereogum - New Music

      ~~ Feedback on the format welcome
      19 votes
    2. Movie of the Week #18 - Gangs of New York

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Second Martin Scorsese movie is Gangs of New York from 2002.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Besides any thoughts any thoughts on this movie, now that we have done this little comparison between Scorsese and superhero movies, what do you think sets these types of movies apart and are they really as opposites as it is sometimes made out to be?


      The schedule for March is:

      • 4th: There Will Be Blood
      • 11th: Life is beautiful
      • 18th: High Noon
      • 25th: Saving Private Ryan
      8 votes
    3. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      11 votes
    4. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like alexei navalny, capitalism and kitchen appliances. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like alexei navalny, capitalism and kitchen appliances. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was nosey.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      8 votes
    5. New Music Fridays: IDLES, Vampire Weekend, Dua Lipa and more

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your...

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your eye and interest, or share your thoughts about any new music that you've had the chance to listen to this week.

      Discussion Points
      Is there anything you've been looking forward to listening to?
      Any releases that have surprised you?
      Have you listened to any new music recently? What are your thoughts?
      What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past? How does their latest work compare?

      Links:
      Pitchfork - Out This Week
      AllMusic - All New Releases
      Stereogum - New Music

      ~~ Feedback on the format welcome
      9 votes
    6. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like ownership.worker, slang and copyright. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like ownership.worker, slang and copyright. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was observing.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      11 votes
    7. GMs: Collaborative worldbuilding

      GMs: do you have any gaps in the worldbuilding of your setting that you're looking for help filling? Post them here! In case it wasn't already clear, I need help as well. My setting is a...

      GMs: do you have any gaps in the worldbuilding of your setting that you're looking for help filling? Post them here!

      In case it wasn't already clear, I need help as well. My setting is a near-future hybrid of Shadowrun and Cyberpunk, in 5e. There are two major gaps. First, in my setting North America has fractured into a handful of nations - but the middle part split into a radioactive wasteland and a loose coalition of city states. What locations might be concealed in the wasteland? (A fallout vault-like society living in the NORAD mountains of Colorado?) Which city states would have survived and what would their character be?

      I also need ideas for more megacorporate factions.

      Here is the work in progress for the setting, if you're interested.

      Help me and I promise I'll help you!

      13 votes
    8. Movie of the Week #17 - Batman Begins

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Second superhero movie Nolan's Batman Begins from 2005.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      How familiar are you Batman - comicbook, animated series, other movies - and how does this compare? Have you seen the other movies in Nolan's Batman trilogy and does this stand up against the rest?


      The rest of the schedule for February is:

      • 26th: Gangs of New York
      8 votes
    9. If happy people do nothing?

      "I mean, pain is the ultimate driving force of life itself. Why do we sleep? Because we're tired. Why do we eat? Because we're hungry. Why do we talk to people? Because we fear isolation, etc....

      "I mean, pain is the ultimate driving force of life itself. Why do we sleep? Because we're tired. Why do we eat? Because we're hungry. Why do we talk to people? Because we fear isolation, etc. Just like in the movie Trainspotting (1996), where heroin users drown out the pain of existence with substances. Does that mean if someone becomes overly focused on anything, they feel a stronger dissatisfaction with life? And could this be used against us? Like this quote from the book Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig:

      The world is increasingly designed to depress us. Happiness isn’t very good for the economy. If we were happy with what we had, why would we need more? How do you sell an anti-ageing moisturiser? You make someone worry about ageing. How do you get people to vote for a political party? You make them worry about immigration. How do you get them to buy insurance? By making them worry about everything. How do you get them to have plastic surgery? By highlighting their physical flaws. How do you get them to watch a TV show? By making them worry about missing out. How do you get them to buy a new smartphone? By making them feel like they are being left behind.

      26 votes
    10. Album of the Week #20: Bruno Pernadas - Those Who Throw Objects at the Crocodiles Will Be Asked to Retrieve Them

      This is Album of the Week #21 ~ This week's album is Bruno Pernadas - Those Who Throw Objects at the Crocodiles Will Be Asked to Retrieve Them Year of Release: 2016 Genre(s): Progressive Pop/Art...

      This is Album of the Week #21 ~ This week's album is Bruno Pernadas - Those Who Throw Objects at the Crocodiles Will Be Asked to Retrieve Them

      Year of Release: 2016
      Genre(s): Progressive Pop/Art Pop
      Country: Portugal
      Length: 53 minutes
      RYM | Listen!

      Excerpt from RYM review by user DoubleMissMatt:

      But there's more in this melting pot of sound than jazz and pop, with touches of electronic music and sampledelia in the mix on tracks such as "Anywhere In Space Time". Building a groove off of analogue synths and a fuzzy chopped vocal sample gives this track a kaleidoscopic sound that reminds me a bit of the Avalanches' debut record. And this isn't exclusive just to this track, as there are a number of nostalgic lo-fi vocal samples that seem to be pulled from films/T.V shows from the 60's (forgive me if I'm wrong with that assumption) scattered across this album at the start/end of songs. That, alongside the two "poem" interludes breaking up the track list, give this album a film-like quality that adds to the wonder of the experience.

      Discussion points:
      Have you heard this artist/album before? Is this your first time hearing?
      Do you enjoy this genre? Is this an album you would have chosen?
      Does this album remind you of something you've heard before?
      What were the album's strengths or weaknesses?
      Was there a standout track for you?
      How did you hear the album? Where were you? What was your setup?

      --

      Album of the week is currently chosen randomly (via random.org) from the top 5000 albums from a custom all-time RYM chart, with a 4/5 popularity weighting. The chart is recalculated weekly.
      Missed last week? It can be found here.
      Any feedback on the format is welcome ~~
      8 votes
    11. Tildes Video Thread

      Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you. It...

      Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you.

      It could be one quirky video that you feel deserves some eyeballs on it, or perhaps you've got a curated list of videos that you'd love to talk us through...

      Share some of the best video content you've watched this past week/fortnight with us!

      12 votes
    12. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      9 votes
    13. CMV: Once civilization is fully developed, life will be unfulfilling and boring. Humanity is also doomed to go extinct. These two reasons make life not worth living.

      Hello everyone, I hope you're well. I've been wrestling with two "philosophical" questions that I find quite unsettling, to the point where I feel like life may not be worth living because of what...

      Hello everyone,

      I hope you're well. I've been wrestling with two "philosophical" questions that
      I find quite unsettling, to the point where I feel like life may not be worth
      living because of what they imply. Hopefully someone here will offer me a new
      perspective on them that will give me a more positive outlook on life.


      (1) Why live this life and do anything at all if humanity is doomed to go extinct?

      I think that, if we do not take religious beliefs into account, humanity is
      doomed to go extinct, and therefore, everything we do is ultimately for nothing,
      as the end result will always be the same: an empty and silent universe devoid of human
      life and consciousness.

      I think that humanity is doomed to go extinct, because it needs a source of
      energy (e.g. the Sun) to survive. However, the Sun will eventually die and life
      on Earth will become impossible. Even if we colonize other habitable planets,
      the stars they are orbiting will eventually die too, so on and so forth until
      every star in the universe has died and every planet has become inhabitable.
      Even if we manage to live on an artificial planet, or in some sort of human-made
      spaceship, we will still need a source of energy to live off of, and one day there
      will be none left.
      Therefore, the end result will always be the same: a universe devoid of human
      life and consciousness with the remnants of human civilization (and Elon Musk's Tesla)
      silently floating in space as a testament to our bygone existence. It then does not
      matter if we develop economically, scientifically, and technologically; if we end
      world hunger and cure cancer; if we bring poverty and human suffering to an end, etc.;
      we might as well put an end to our collective existence today. If we try to live a happy
      life nonetheless, we'll still know deep down that nothing we do really matters.

      Why do anything at all, if all we do is ultimately for nothing?


      (2) Why live this life if the development of civilization will eventually lead
      to a life devoid of fulfilment and happiness?

      I also think that if, in a remote future, humanity has managed to develop
      civilization to its fullest extent, having founded every company imaginable;
      having proved every theorem, run every experiment and conducted every scientific
      study possible; having invented every technology conceivable; having automated
      all meaningful work there is: how then will we manage to find fulfilment in life
      through work?

      At such time, all work, and especially all fulfilling work, will have already
      been done or automated by someone else, so there will be no work left to do.

      If we fall back to leisure, I believe that we will eventually run out of
      leisurely activities to do. We will have read every book, watched every
      movie, played every game, eaten at every restaurant, laid on every beach,
      swum in every sea: we will eventually get bored of every hobby there is and
      of all the fun to be had. (Even if we cannot literally read every book or watch
      every movie there is, we will still eventually find their stories and plots to be
      similar and repetitive.)

      At such time, all leisure will become unappealing and boring.

      Therefore, when we reach that era, we will become unable to find fulfillment and
      happiness in life neither through work nor through leisure. We will then not
      have much to do, but to wait for our death.

      In that case, why live and work to develop civilization and solve all of the
      world's problems if doing so will eventually lead us to a state of unfulfillment,
      boredom and misery? How will we manage to remain happy even then?


      I know that these scenarios are hypothetical and will only be relevant in a
      very far future, but I find them disturbing and they genuinely bother me, in the
      sense that their implications seem to rationally make life not worth living.

      I'd appreciate any thoughts and arguments that could help me put these ideas into
      perspective and put them behind me, especially if they can settle these questions for
      good and definitively prove these reasonings to be flawed or wrong, rather than offer
      coping mechanisms to live happily in spite of them being true.

      Thank you for engaging with these thoughts.


      Edit.

      After having read through about a hundred answers (here and elsewhere), here are some key takeaways:

      Why live this life and do anything at all if humanity is doomed to go extinct?

      • My argument about the extinction of humanity seems logical, but we could very well eventually find out that it is totally wrong. We may not be doomed to go extinct, which means that what we do wouldn't be for nothing, as humanity would keep benefitting from it perpetually.
      • We are at an extremely early stage of the advancement of science, when looking at it on a cosmic timescale. Over such a long time, we may well come to an understanding of the Universe that allows us to see past the limits I've outlined in my original post.
      • (Even if it's all for nothing, if we enjoy ourselves and we do not care that it's pointless, then it will not matter to us that it's all for nothing, as the fun we're having makes life worthwhile in and of itself. Also, if what we do impacts us positively right now, even if it's all for nothing ultimately, it will still matter to us as it won't be for nothing for as long as humanity still benefits from it.)

      Why live this life if the development of civilization will eventually lead to a life devoid of fulfilment and happiness?

      • This is not possible, because we'd either have the meaningful work of improving our situation (making ourselves fulfilled and happy), or we would be fulfilled and happy, even if there was no work left.
      • I have underestimated for how long one can remain fulfilled with hobbies alone, given that one has enough hobbies. One could spend the rest of their lives doing a handful of hobbies (e.g., travelling, painting, reading non-fiction, reading fiction, playing games) and they would not have enough time to exhaust all of these hobbies.
      • We would not get bored of a given food, book, movie, game, etc., because we could cycle through a large number of them, and by the time we reach the end of the cycle (if we ever do), then we will have forgotten the taste of the first foods and the stories of the first books and movies. Even if we didn't forget the taste of the first foods, we would not have eaten them frequently at all, so we would not have gotten bored of them. Also, there can be a lot of variation within a game like Chess or Go. We might get bored of Chess itself, but then we could simply cycle through several games (or more generally hobbies), and come back to the first game with renewed eagerness to play after some time has passed.
      • One day we may have the technology to change our nature and alter our minds to not feel bored, make us forget things on demand, increase our happiness, and remove negative feelings.

      Recommended readings (from the commenters)

      • Deep Utopia: Life and Meaning in a Solved World by Nick Bostrom
      • The Fun Theory Sequence by Eliezer Yudkowski
      • The Beginning of Infinity by David Deutsch
      • Into the Cool by Eric D. Schneider and Dorion Sagan
      • Permutation City by Greg Egan
      • Diaspora by Greg Egan
      • Accelerando by Charles Stross
      • The Last Question By Isaac Asimov
      • The Culture series by Iain M. Banks
      • Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom by Cory Doctorow
      • The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus
      • Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
      • This Life: Secular Faith and Spiritual Freedom by Martin Hägglund
      • Uncaused cause arguments
      • The Meaningness website (recommended starting point) by David Chapman
      • Optimistic Nihilism (video) by Kurzgesagt
      23 votes
    14. Album of the Week #19: The Dillinger Escape Plan - Calculating Infinity

      This is Album of the Week #20 ~ This week's album is The Dillinger Escape Plan - Calculating Infinity Year of Release: 1999 Genre(s): Mathcore Country: United States Length: 37 minutes RYM |...

      This is Album of the Week #20 ~ This week's album is The Dillinger Escape Plan - Calculating Infinity

      Year of Release: 1999
      Genre(s): Mathcore
      Country: United States
      Length: 37 minutes
      RYM | Listen!

      Excerpt from Sputnik Music:

      Wanna know why it all works? Because the insane technicality and the angular “prog-meets-punk” riffing ensure that each emotional catharsis is earned. The Dillinger Escape Plan somehow have the ability to turn technical prowess into atmosphere, weaving in and out of disturbing musical passages; Dimitri is simply icing on the cake with the chaos he spews over it all. But each emotional release works because the band members are incredibly skilled at building us up to those moments. Much like Converge’s Jane Doe, there’s a respect and care that’s given to each weird transition and tempo shift despite the hell being unleashed on top of the songwriting.

      Discussion points:
      Have you heard this artist/album before? Is this your first time hearing?
      Do you enjoy this genre? Is this an album you would have chosen?
      Does this album remind you of something you've heard before?
      What were the album's strengths or weaknesses?
      Was there a standout track for you?
      How did you hear the album? Where were you? What was your setup?

      --

      Album of the week is currently chosen randomly (via random.org) from the top 5000 albums from a custom all-time RYM chart, with a 4/5 popularity weighting. The chart is recalculated weekly.
      Missed last week? It can be found here.
      Any feedback on the format is welcome ~~
      10 votes
    15. Movie of the Week #16 - The Aviator

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      First Martin Scorsese this time around with the animated The Aviator from 2004.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Are you familiar with other of Martin Scorsese's movies and how do you like this compared to his other movies? Feel free to add any thoughts, opinions, reflections, analysis or whatever comments related to this film.


      The rest of the schedule for February is:

      • 19th: Batman Begins
      • 26th: Gangs of New York
      12 votes
    16. The body keeps the score, even when the memory has been completely erased

      I'm not here to talk about the New York Times bestseller, so apologies to anyone who's come looking for an informed discussion on that. Apologies if I'm posting this in the incorrect place, please...

      I'm not here to talk about the New York Times bestseller, so apologies to anyone who's come looking for an informed discussion on that. Apologies if I'm posting this in the incorrect place, please move or delete the post if it's inappropriate. I had something of a breakthrough in therapy recently and I don't have anyone to share this with (for reasons that may become obvious) so I'm turning to Tildes to vomit these thoughts out into the world somewhere.

      Like a lot of us growing older, I've been spending a some time trying to better understand myself and come to peace with the person I am. One of the aspects people around me (and myself) find perplexing is how I'm able to be personable and friendly, even popular in some circles, but given the choice I will stay away from people as much as possible (except for a very select few I can count on one hand). I often joke that if it weren't for my wife and kids I'd probably be feral and live in the woods, bite anyone who tries to get too close. That lady that lived alone in a cave for over a year? Life goals. I thought I was just a mega introvert, but something my therapist and I discussed made me realise that that side of my personality may be (at least partly?) a manifestation of past trauma. So here is my villain origin story.

      I've shared before on Tildes that I was very sick with cancer for a good chunk of my infancy. Whenever someone finds out I had cancer (it's left fairly visible marks, so the topic inevitably comes up) I always say it's ok, I don't remember it at all, so really it's my parents who lived through the trauma, not me, ha ha. I no longer believe that is entirely true. The body does keep the score after all. My therapist pointed out that I must have spent many moments alone dealing with the consequences, unable to fully share or understand what I was going through. Moments where I was physically manipulated whichever way, by people and instruments, dealing the nausea, the pain and the fatigue. I was too young to fully articulate my distress, ask for help (beyond crying) or seek solutions to the problems I faced. So for some moments at least I had only myself to rely on. Did the part of me that would normally seek out others die a little then?

      My parents used to remark that as a child I never cried out, just tears streaming silently down my face. They speak of how I used to play contentedly alone for hours. How I rarely asked for help when I really needed it. Don't get me wrong, I'm able to form relationships with people, and I'm perfectly capable of functioning in society. I do seek out others for company, connection, validation, love, etc, and vice versa. But I can't shake the feeling that there's something broken in those connections. It feels like something is amiss, even if I've mostly come to terms with being this way. I'm left thinking - did the trauma (at least partly) make me who I am? Where does the trauma end and where do I begin? How many of us are potentially totally different people today because the body remembers when we have completely and utterly forgotten? And if that's the case, is that...ok?

      48 votes
    17. Northern hemisphere gardeners - share your 2024 plans!

      Please share your garden plans, ideas, and wildly overambitious green fantasies here! Weird and treacherous climate change weather is distorting my garden sense. Normally, it's not a good idea to...

      Please share your garden plans, ideas, and wildly overambitious green fantasies here!

      Weird and treacherous climate change weather is distorting my garden sense. Normally, it's not a good idea to plant anything tender until late May here, but I'm betting we won't get frost past May 1 this year, or nothing that can't be handled with strategic use of row covers and cloches.

      My fingers are itching to get the hot peppers started. I'm restraining myself from starting the tomatoes too early (again!), and the snapdragons and other slow annual flowers are starting to germinate. I could probably sow kale now.

      We'll see which of last year's bulbs survived the critters until the spring. Reinforcement of the deer fencing is happening as soon as the ground is thawed deeply enough to set proper posts, and dry enough to work with wood frames and cattle panel.

      I'm going to get a few logs set up for shiitakes, oysters, maitake, and maybe see if last year's happenstance wood chip pile morels can be encouraged. Fingers-crossed that December's wild garlic (ramps) test planting took hold - if that works, I'll get more slips and expand the patch in more of the shady areas that aren't suitable for much else.

      Depending on how my hands and spouse's shoulders are holding up, there's a lot of digging in this year's permaculture expansion. A couple of Hugelkultur beds, some (mostly?) American chestnut trees, more berries and apples, planting the overwintered pawpaws, and another try at elderberries. I've got vague plans for building a grape arbor this year, but that's going to depend on availability of spouse's hands during the busy winery season.

      Looking forward to hearing from you!

      21 votes
    18. New Music Fridays: Kacey Musgraves, Little Simz, Usher and more

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your...

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your eye and interest, or share your thoughts about any new music that you've had the chance to listen to this week.

      Discussion Points
      Is there anything you've been looking forward to listening to?
      Any releases that have surprised you?
      Have you listened to any new music recently? What are your thoughts?
      What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past? How does their latest work compare?

      Links:
      Pitchfork - Out This Week
      AllMusic - All New Releases
      Stereogum - New Music

      ~~ Feedback on the format welcome
      9 votes
    19. New Music Fridays: The Last Dinner Party, Kirin J Calinan, Burial and more

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your...

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your eye and interest, or share your thoughts about any new music that you've had the chance to listen to this week.

      Discussion Points

      Is there anything you've been looking forward to listening to?
      Any releases that have surprised you?
      Have you listened to any new music recently? What are your thoughts?
      What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past? How does their latest work compare?

      ~~ Feedback on the format welcome

      5 votes
    20. Movie of the Week #15 - Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      First superhero movie this time around with the animated Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse from 2018.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Are you familiar with Spiderman, from other movies or the comic - and how does it compare? Have you seen the sequel Across the Spider-Verse? All comments are welcome.


      The rest of the schedule for February is:

      • 12th: The Aviator
      • 19th: Batman Begins
      • 26th: Gangs of New York
      19 votes
    21. Tildes Video Thread

      Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you. It...

      Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you.

      It could be one quirky video that you feel deserves some eyeballs on it, or perhaps you've got a curated list of videos that you'd love to talk us through...

      Share some of the best video content you've watched this past week/fortnight with us!

      8 votes
    22. Moral purism, personal responsibility, and dysfunctional standards

      This is a post about the topics mentioned in the title, and how they are related in my life. I suspect it might provide a point of consideration and discussion for other members, as I provide an...

      This is a post about the topics mentioned in the title, and how they are related in my life. I suspect it might provide a point of consideration and discussion for other members, as I provide an argument that could be applied to other people and situations.

      For good or bad, I put much value on morality, and see the world through a moralizing lens. This is not necessarily a case of reducing everything to "evil choices", it's more complicated than that, but it's been bothering me for a long while. It's partially because I often find myself judging myself too harshly, especially after failing to live up to my moral ideals.

      For example, I don't like overconsumption and the surrounding hyperconsumerist ideology, so I hadn't bought any sort of "geeky" merchandise for some years. It's because, even though I thoroughly enjoy fictional works, there's this hyperconsumerist ideology and culture surrounding geekdom. So I thought, and to some extent still think, that buying any kind of merchandise was being tricked by the system.

      I bought a simple merchandise item -a mug- the other day, which prompted me to question why I bought it. It feels shameful to write even now, but it's because I thought I should treat myself to something. It was cute, after all. When I thought about this issue, I realized certain things.

      For starters, I put too much emphasis on personal responsibility when it comes to moral issues. One reason is I tend to blame myself. I often question myself first before questioning others or the wider picture. Another reason is that there are many, many moral tales that emphasize the role of personal responsibility. Too many stories have the hero look down on the villain and declare: "There's always a choice." And then the hero explicitly or implicitly says the villain just wasn't strong enough.

      I think this is to a great degree due to how personal responsibility is mythologized in the contemporary culture. Abrahamic religions often put much emphasis on choosing the morally good choice. After all, the whole afterlife dichotomy is built upon this idea. Furthermore, with the "Enlightenment", the idea that individuals are rational and free to choose has become very prominent. So, both pre-modern and modern beliefs about morality puts much emphasis on personal responsibility.

      This has different effects on different people, and I recognize that my experience is not necessarily generalizable, but I do think that it provides a kind of insight on some issues. At least for some people. Basically, I've come to realize that ethical issues have more of an emotional impact on me than most people. I also have a dysfunctional pattern of trying to live up to unreasonable standards. When these two and the emphasis on personal responsibility were combined, it created a very difficult pattern for me. It made me more vulnerable to moral purism.

      I've recently realized why this moral purist tendency is straining for me, and there's a very simple why: it's because it's a thought that belongs to a fictional, idealized world. It doesn't consider the complexities and realities of the world I live in, it demands that I should live in that fictional, ideal world. In other words, it fails me, because it doesn't recognize that I'm a human with real needs and wants.

      I don't mean this in the cliche "Oh, humans are imperfect," way, because that way of thinking still puts the moral purist way on a pedastal. It just tells you that you are weak and imperfect, and tells you to compromise. I think this is not a good way of looking at it, because it still reinforces the idealized thinking. It just tells you to make concessions, which is unacceptable to a perfectionist.

      Instead, I say that it's a shitty psychology. This way of thinking doesn't consider how a human mind works, what it needs to be healthy and happy, and the overall workings of the world. Healthy thinking comes from being able to cope with realities of the world—in a way, it's being in tune with the reality you live in, and that necessitates recognizing your own emotional needs and wants. Moral purism encourages you to neglect your own emotional needs in pursuit of some fictional, impossible person you want to be. It's a fantasy.

      In this context, it's healthy to come to terms with your own limits as a single person. The wider picture should be considered. For example, in my situation, buying merchandise now and then doesn't make me a bad person, nor does it make this act morally bad. I live under capitalism, and no matter what I do, as long as I continue to live in a society, I will always contribute to its workings (and healthy people don't go "off the grid"). From my point of view, it's bad that doing things I love contributes to an inequalizing system, but in no reasonable way should I be expected to give up what little or moderate joys I get by participating in this system. Of course, there should be a limit regarding consumption, but the bar is certainly not as high as I thought.

      This is my personal experience with moral purism. I think the culture of overemphasis on personal responsibility feeds into it. What are your thoughts about it? Have you had similar experiences? The don't have to be about consumerism, as moral purism is seen many, unrelated issues.

      Note: This goes without saying, but this post doesn't suggest that having a better world in mind and striving for it is bad. It just criticizes an unhealthy way of approaching the mentioned topics.

      16 votes
    23. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like polyamory, caramelization and parking. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like polyamory, caramelization and parking. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was studious.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      23 votes
    24. Notifications are ads

      This is a thought I've been having a lot lately. It seems like 90% of notifications I get these days both on my phone and computer are ads begging me to either: upgrade a service I already have...

      This is a thought I've been having a lot lately. It seems like 90% of notifications I get these days both on my phone and computer are ads begging me to either: upgrade a service I already have ("you're running out of space on [insert cloud service here] at 75% usage will you please UPGRADE?") or re-engage with an app that hasn't sucked enough of my attention ("we MISS you! PLEASE engage!"), with the remaining tiny minority being useful actionable information. I've noticed too that social media notifications NEVER give you enough detail about something that's going on to not have to open the app directly. It's kind of exhausting to the point where I've disabled most notifications on my devices altogether. I don't really know the point of this post other than to commiserate and to simply open it up for discussion. Thoughts?

      EDIT: WOW this blew up! Thanks everyone for your contributions!

      101 votes
    25. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      9 votes
    26. Why do you think that there isn't a male-led/focused feminist-style movement?

      It wasn't until recently that the oddness of this absence struck me. While I am definitely not claiming that men have it worse then women or other minorities, men do have very serious issues from...

      It wasn't until recently that the oddness of this absence struck me. While I am definitely not claiming that men have it worse then women or other minorities, men do have very serious issues from being men. Of course there are individual men, groups and small organizations that support men along these lines, but why do you think there isn't a broader culture movement?

      29 votes
    27. Career advice (or success stories) thread

      I've seen a few posts on Tildes now about careers - sometimes personal posts about burnout and how to manage it, other times links to articles about layoffs. The end result of both of these is...

      I've seen a few posts on Tildes now about careers - sometimes personal posts about burnout and how to manage it, other times links to articles about layoffs.

      The end result of both of these is often a need to find a new job. For some it may be as simple as applying for the same title at a different company and having success, for others it may be a long process of determining what type of career to go for next and perhaps education or other factors that can help them get there.

      I wanted to try starting a thread to see if those of us who are struggling can ask for advice, and perhaps those who are doing well can help or even post their career journey to show how they got where they are today.

      37 votes
    28. “Both-sides” and when is nuance acceptable discourse?

      I feel like some sort of alien asking this question but there is this negative connotation I keep seeing towards acknowledging “both sides” of an argument. Now, I know that things that have...

      I feel like some sort of alien asking this question but there is this negative connotation I keep seeing towards acknowledging “both sides” of an argument. Now, I know that things that have racism, sexism, and violence on one side and do not have such abhorrent views on the other clearly have a “good” side, but I also get the sneaking suspicion that calling something “both-sidesy” in a context where there are not such clear boundaries is a potential manipulation tactic to dismiss nuanced arguments. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Is my dividing line correct or are there other things to consider?

      39 votes
    29. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      5 votes
    30. Tildes Book Club - Spring schedule (Updated Feb 2, 2:19 UTC)

      The results are in, and Dispossessed was the clear favorite with many strong contenders. It looks like quite a few people are interested in participating. There was a tie for third place so we...

      The results are in, and Dispossessed was the clear favorite with many strong contenders. It looks like quite a few people are interested in participating.

      There was a tie for third place so we will start with four books.

      Edit
      We will discuss Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell in early March,
      Piranesi by Susanna Clarke in Mid April,
      The Dispossessed by Ursula le Guin in Late May
      And Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir at the end of June.

      We will discuss Project Hail Mary in early March
      Cloud Atlas in mid April
      The Dispossessed in late May
      and Piranesi at the end of June

      At that point I plan to hold a voting thread for fiction and a voting thread for nonfiction and discuss/vote on how frequently to read nonfiction. Please feel free to renominate your favorites that didn't get chosen.

      I'm looking forward to this. Thanks for participating.

      26 votes
    31. Album of the Week #18: Portishead - Portishead

      This is Album of the Week #19 ~ This week's album is Portishead - Portishead Year of Release: 1997 Genre(s): Trip Hop Country: United Kingdom Length: 50 minutes RYM | Listen! Excerpt from Vulture:...

      This is Album of the Week #19 ~ This week's album is Portishead - Portishead

      Year of Release: 1997
      Genre(s): Trip Hop
      Country: United Kingdom
      Length: 50 minutes
      RYM | Listen!

      Excerpt from Vulture:

      The album makes total sense, but how does it sound? One could argue that Portishead can be more admirable in theory than in practice. Created in direct opposition to the twinned principles of quick profit and easy pleasure, it’s a masterpiece of painful rigor. With the exception of “Undenied,” the album’s exhilarations, though plentiful, are inseparable from its harrowing politics and embattled nature. Utley’s riff on “Cowboys” is fit to saw through steel; Barrow’s beat on “Elysium” counts its measures with an alarming or bomb-adjacent urgency; Gibbons’s voice, shorn of comforting accompaniments, is charged with a kind of grievous purity throughout, reaching heights of agony unheard on Dummy.

      Discussion points:
      Have you heard this artist/album before? Is this your first time hearing?
      Do you enjoy this genre? Is this an album you would have chosen?
      Does this album remind you of something you've heard before?
      What were the album's strengths or weaknesses?
      Was there a standout track for you?
      How did you hear the album? Where were you? What was your setup?

      --

      Album of the week is currently chosen randomly (via random.org) from the top 5000 albums from a custom all-time RYM chart, with a 4/5 popularity weighting. The chart is recalculated weekly.
      Missed last week? It can be found here.
      Any feedback on the format is welcome ~~
      20 votes
    32. Oh my days! 3.5yr old got his big boy bed.

      My eldest is 17, the other two are 15 & 14. I forgot just how tiring it was doing the switcheroo from cot to bed. Now he can get up. We've had 27 wees, 2 poos and 5 books this evening. We started...

      My eldest is 17, the other two are 15 & 14. I forgot just how tiring it was doing the switcheroo from cot to bed. Now he can get up. We've had 27 wees, 2 poos and 5 books this evening. We started put down at 7:20pm, it's now 9:10pm and I won the war. It took going old school Super Nanny style, waiting for the door to open, scooping up and putting in bed repeatedly whilst staying silent, until he finally burnt out. He did that 19 times.

      It took 3.5hrs 6 days ago, last night he was down in 15 minutes, we thought we had it. Oh, so wrong.

      I'm not after any sleep advice, just ranting. It's a lot harder when you're mid forties doing this than when I was early to mid twenties, that's for sure.

      Feel free to throw me your amusing stories and pains of sleep training a little dude/dudette that's found independence. I could do with a laugh.

      30 votes
    33. I don't understand the appeal of referring to Men™ when you mean Shitty Men™, and I'd like to understand

      It's something I've wondered about for a while, but I wasn't sure how to have a constructive conversation about it. For clarity's sake, I am talking about the common social-media post of a woman...

      It's something I've wondered about for a while, but I wasn't sure how to have a constructive conversation about it. For clarity's sake, I am talking about the common social-media post of a woman talking about a terrible experience with a particular man or group of men and framing it around "Men are shitty". To be clear, I understand that is said in specific context and rarely does the person mean it literally. My question is about the appeal in the first place. As a personal example, I've been hurt by many women, but the idea of ever saying "Women are shitty." makes me feel mega-ick. So I'm genuinely curious to understand why some people find that kind of language cathartic or useful in some way?

      24 votes
    34. What is the importance of not swearing in front of my kid?

      Honest question. My son is only 5 months, but that is something that came to mind while reading posts on American websites. My culture is not nearly as sensitive to swear words are English...

      Honest question. My son is only 5 months, but that is something that came to mind while reading posts on American websites. My culture is not nearly as sensitive to swear words are English speakers seem to be, so I would like to know if there's any reason to be mindful of that other than specific cultural sensibilities. Is it inherently bad to use swear words in front of kids? Do you have any personal views on the matter?

      35 votes
    35. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like passwords, slavery.modern and greedflation. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like passwords, slavery.modern and greedflation. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was alert.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      7 votes
    36. Teach me about biryani

      I was watching this video. The auto-translated subtitles are not great, but I followed along a bit. We tried 15 types of Biryani It made me realise that in the UK I have access to a very limited...

      I was watching this video. The auto-translated subtitles are not great, but I followed along a bit.

      We tried 15 types of Biryani

      It made me realise that in the UK I have access to a very limited selection of biryani. From a supermarket it will look like this: https://www.iceland.co.uk/p/iceland-chicken-biryani-375g/87458.html. I'm missing so much knowledge about an enormous region that covers over a billion people.

      I'd be really interested to hear about biryani, especially regional variations with different ingredients. What things are essential and often missed? What makes a biryani great?

      I'd also love to hear more about delivery - those "handi" ceramic dum cooked to order pots look amazing. There's another video here of an "unboxing" - https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Q5OA4XiGl34 , and the makers have a video here too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6nE1Nla3u0

      20 votes
    37. Album of the Week #17: Canserbero - Muerte

      This is Album of the Week #18 ~ This week's album is Canserbero - Muerte Year of Release: 2012 Genre(s): Conscious Hip Hop Country: Venezuela Length: 70 minutes RYM | Listen! (Album.Link) RYM...

      This is Album of the Week #18 ~ This week's album is Canserbero - Muerte

      Year of Release: 2012
      Genre(s): Conscious Hip Hop
      Country: Venezuela
      Length: 70 minutes
      RYM | Listen! (Album.Link)

      RYM review by ligetifan137:

      When you go to Venezuela, caserbero is everywhere you go. His mark not only on the Venezuelan rap scene but worldwide is so tangible it's almost impossible to process he is gone. The power with which he delivers each line, with so much anger as he describes such raw descriptions of daily venezuelan life is haunting, it's so poetic yet so realistic. He was very well read, which can be seen all through out the numerous references of various thinkers as well as laying a very grim philosophical and political groundwork present all around Venezuela. The concept of this album functions perfectly, each song flows so nicely and feels very natural. Even though the beats can be a but repetitive and under produced, they are so overshadowed by his performance you almost forget they're there: it's as if he's speaking to you face to face. A legend to many, gone too soon. Rest in peace

      Discussion points:
      Have you heard this artist/album before? Is this your first time hearing?
      Do you enjoy this genre? Is this an album you would have chosen?
      Does this album remind you of something you've heard before?
      What were the album's strengths or weaknesses?
      Was there a standout track for you?
      How did you hear the album? Where were you? What was your setup?

      --

      Album of the week is currently chosen randomly (via random.org) from the top 5000 albums from a custom all-time RYM chart, with a 4/5 popularity weighting. The chart is recalculated weekly.
      Missed last week? It can be found here.
      Any feedback on the format is welcome ~~
      9 votes
    38. Movie of the Week #14 - The Iron Giant

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Final movie for January is Brad Bird's animated The Iron Giant from 1999.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Feel free to add any thoughts, opinions, reflections, analysis or whatever comments related to this film.


      The schedule for February is:

      • 5th: Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse
      • 12th: The Aviator
      • 19th: Batman Begins
      • 26th: Gangs of New York
      21 votes
    39. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      8 votes
    40. Tildes Video Thread

      Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you. It...

      Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you.

      It could be one quirky video that you feel deserves some eyeballs on it, or perhaps you've got a curated list of videos that you'd love to talk us through...

      Share some of the best video content you've watched this past week/fortnight with us!

      15 votes
    41. New Music Fridays: The Smile, Phillip Glass, Squid and more

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your...

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your eye and interest, or share your thoughts about any new music that you've had the chance to listen to this week.

      Discussion Points

      Is there anything you've been looking forward to listening to?
      Any releases that have surprised you?
      Have you listened to any new music recently? What are your thoughts?
      What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past? How does their latest work compare?

      ~~ Feedback on the format welcome

      11 votes
    42. Tildes Book Club - Should we allow nomination of trilogies? Should we have a length limit?

      I made my first mistake coordinating this project. Gormenghast was nominated, but it's the second book in a trilogy so I excluded it. Turns out, @azaadi meant to nominate the whole trilogy. It...

      I made my first mistake coordinating this project. Gormenghast was nominated, but it's the second book in a trilogy so I excluded it. Turns out, @azaadi meant to nominate the whole trilogy. It hadn't occurred to me.

      So what are your thoughts? I haven't known book clubs to include trilogies, but my experience is limited.

      Please vote below and feel free to comment.

      11 votes
    43. Tildes Book Club - Book nomination and discussion thread

      Edit nominations are closed I asked @Cffabro about doing another book discussion as with Roadside Picnic. He suggested that I pick it up instead. So hi. Are there readers here who would like to...

      Edit nominations are closed

      I asked @Cffabro about doing another book discussion as with Roadside Picnic. He suggested that I pick it up instead. So hi. Are there readers here who would like to join me on a book discussion journey?

      If yes, please name between one and five books you find intriguing and think others might enjoy. We will later have a voting thread so that each nomination gets an equal shot to win votes with no early nomination advantage.

      Also, let's talk frequency. I think monthly, every six weeks or every two months all sound like reasonable intervals for busy people to read and discuss a book. What are your thoughts?

      Lastly do you have things to mention that you thought worked well in the past or should be avoided?

      I hope this gets some traction. I'm looking forward to it.

      28 votes
    44. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like fujitsu, transphobia and the daily show. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like fujitsu, transphobia and the daily show. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was perplexed.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      9 votes
    45. People with a "second brain": Why? How?

      I've been looking around at different note-taking apps (Notion, Obsidian, Anytype, Joplin, Logseq, etc.) after seeing a few videos about the idea of having a "second brain", and only how has the...

      I've been looking around at different note-taking apps (Notion, Obsidian, Anytype, Joplin, Logseq, etc.) after seeing a few videos about the idea of having a "second brain", and only how has the the thought popped into my mind, "What's the point?". A “second brain” seems like it would require spending too much processing power on something that only exists to exist. What are the chances there you're going to remember any given thing after writing it down? You haven’t filled up your first brain yet. This all sounds very pessimistic - my intention is not to insult anyone's choice to use these tools, but I'm curious of what benefits people have gotten from their "second brains". Maybe I'm just the wrong kind of person for it, or maybe it's just that I'm not used to writing things down.

      Edit: I'm coming to an interesting conclusion that many people use their version of a second brain for things they need to do. This isn't really what I was referring to, I was more looking at it as a form of journaling or personal research, which might be less common?

      33 votes
    46. Album of the Week #17: Wormrot - Voices

      This is Album of the Week #17 ~ This week's album is Wormrot - Voices Year of Release: 2016 Genre(s): Grindcore Country: Singapore Length: 26 minutes RYM | Listen! (Album.Link) Excerpt from Angry...

      This is Album of the Week #17 ~ This week's album is Wormrot - Voices

      Year of Release: 2016
      Genre(s): Grindcore
      Country: Singapore
      Length: 26 minutes
      RYM | Listen! (Album.Link)

      Excerpt from Angry Metal Guy:

      Natural though it may be, there’s something very special about how Voices draws from outside the walls of grindcore. It’s adventurous but just sounds so… obvious. This is just the sort of thing Wormrot do: write so well, perform so tightly, that whatever they’re doing just seems inevitable. Effortless, perhaps. Voices is loud, violent, and brutal, but it also restrained, as if measured in micrograms of controlled adrenaline and delivered intravenously. Like last year’s offering from Beaten to Death, this is a unique and immensely enjoyable take on grindcore that’s a true flame-bearer of the genre and won’t be wanting for love on the year-end lists of the abrasively inclined.

      Discussion points:
      Have you heard this artist/album before? Is this your first time hearing?
      Do you enjoy this genre? Is this an album you would have chosen?
      Does this album remind you of something you've heard before?
      What were the album's strengths or weaknesses?
      Was there a standout track for you?
      How did you hear the album? Where were you? What was your setup?

      --

      Album of the week is currently chosen randomly (via random.org) from the top 5000 albums from a custom all-time RYM chart, with a 4/5 popularity weighting. The chart is recalculated weekly.
      Missed last week? It can be found here.
      Any feedback on the format is welcome ~~
      10 votes
    47. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      8 votes