-
17 votes
-
Does anyone have any advice for new dads?
I'm going to be a father soon. This kid was very much planned, and I've been pretty involved every step of the way, yet it still feels bizarre to say that out loud. At 26 (27 when the kid is...
I'm going to be a father soon. This kid was very much planned, and I've been pretty involved every step of the way, yet it still feels bizarre to say that out loud. At 26 (27 when the kid is born), I don't feel like a kid, but in some ways, I'm not sure I feel mature enough for parenthood.
I'm not too worried about the immediate logistical practicalities of parenthood. Things like how to clean, feed, and physically handle a newborn are things I can learn and seem fairly straightforward. Regarding what to get, I live within walking distance of a fairly well known baby supply store, so I figure I can just buy things as the need arises. I'm expecting that first month to be hard, but after I "figure out" the kid, I'm sure it'll be manageable. My folks did it, their folks did it, I'm sure I can do it too.
I guess what I'm really dwelling on is the more abstract aspects of fatherhood. I don't know what to expect and I don't really know what I don't know. What does it feel like? How should I prioritize my life? How do I figure out what's important and what isn't? I want to do what's best for the kid, but what does that even mean? How much is expecting too much from the kid? My wife wants the kid to be able to speak Russian, naturally, I want the kid to be able to speak English, and living in Japan, the kid will also have to pick up Japanese. Is that going to stunt the kid? I have so many questions and no one to really ask. I asked my own dad about it and all he said was something along the lines of "every kid is different, it might take a bit of time to really sink in that you're a dad" and that was that.
A bit of background about my situation:
On one hand, I'm in an okay place. I have a house with a very affordable mortgage, a modest, but stable career, and I live in a very safe part of Japan, which offers a lot of support for new parents. On the other hand, both my wife and I are thousands of miles from our respective families, so we're pretty much on our own and neither of are as fluent in the local language as we'd like to be.35 votes -
In Norway, children walk to school aged six, or even travel across the country. Why do these kids have so much independence, while other countries are so risk-averse?
30 votes -
No Sir, Sinks were not an option
11 votes -
OnlyFans vows it's a safe space. Predators are exploiting kids there.
15 votes -
Lemonade stands
One of my kids and his friend really want to do a lemonade stand (or something to that effect) this summer. I'm not really liking the idea of selling actual lemonade but I was thinking maybe they...
One of my kids and his friend really want to do a lemonade stand (or something to that effect) this summer. I'm not really liking the idea of selling actual lemonade but I was thinking maybe they could stuff some freezies in a cooler and walk over to a local dog park. A big part of me wants my kids to actually execute an idea rather than dream about it and not actually do it. I want them to learn about money to some degree and maybe learn some lessons about making money... potato quality clip from my favourite show
Did you ever do a lemonade stand (or similar) as a kid?
What are some other things they could sell that would actually work?
Would ice be enough to keep freezies cold or should I buy some dry ice?
Is this all a dumb idea?
26 votes -
Parental union dissolution and the gender revolution – how divorce is boosting gender equality in Sweden
13 votes -
A family who profited from pretending to be indigenous gets exposed in Canada
15 votes -
Science fiction or fantasy recommendations for children
My apologies if there is already a thread about this. I did try searching and didn't turn anything up. My daughter (9) is just about to finish the Harry Potter series. She saw Kim Stanley...
My apologies if there is already a thread about this. I did try searching and didn't turn anything up.
My daughter (9) is just about to finish the Harry Potter series. She saw Kim Stanley Robinson's Red Mars on the bookshelf and asked to read it next. It's been years since I read it, but I remember it being pretty complex and political. Much as I would enjoy discussing it with her, I think it might be a little bit ambitious for her first SF.
She read a Wrinkle in Time in school and has already listened to the Narnia books on audiobook.
I was thinking back to my own childhood reading, which was very eclectic because I was limited by what I could get at home or in my small town libraries. I remember Clarke, Asimov, Pohl, L'Engle, but also a healthy dose of Star Trek and Star Wars novels, and even the Death lands novels. It was mostly hard SF. I didn't really read much fantasy until grad school.
I feel like the landscape is pretty different now, with a lot more YA content in general and especially in the Fantasy/SF world. There are things with better representations and diversity as well. I spent an hour in the children's fiction section of our library, but I feel like it's difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff.
So Tilderinos, that are your recommendations or thoughts? I'm also interested in meta resources like book lists or reviewers that have been helpful to you. Much as I would like to read everything she reads, she has much more bandwidth than I do.
As I was writing this, my daughter came by and suggested I list some of her interests, which are: magic, dragons, wizards and witches, and being tired of having all happy endings. So while I'm not necessarily tied to SF and Fantasy only, that does seem like it will be the thin end of the wedge.
Edit:
I have compiled the recommendations from this thread into a spreadsheet listing each book or series with a short synopsis and other notes. I've also included the names of the books for most series. My apologies if I missed any.44 votes -
Texas abortion ban linked to 13% increase in infant and newborn deaths
54 votes -
How babies and young children learn to understand language
8 votes -
Spaced repetition for teaching two-year olds how to read (Interview)
18 votes -
How CoComelon captures our children’s attention
15 votes -
The great deterioration of local community was a major driver of the loss of the play-based childhood
26 votes -
New York passes legislation that would ban 'addictive' social media algorithms for kids
51 votes -
Louisiana lawmakers approve surgical castration option for those guilty of sex crimes against kids
39 votes -
The Goya paintings you aren't supposed to look at
11 votes -
The complex question of screen influence on youth
14 votes -
Outdoor time is good for your kids' eyesight. Here's why.
21 votes -
Do children have a “right to hug” their parents?
14 votes -
The troubling trend in teenage sex (it's strangulation)
26 votes -
10-year-old Texas boy linked to 2022 killing, according to officials
11 votes -
The parents in my classroom
25 votes -
This is a teenager
36 votes -
The “bad nanny” wars
7 votes -
South Africa recalls cough syrup sold in at least six countries
7 votes -
Hilary Cass' NHS report is rife with debunked theories and falsehoods
30 votes -
Here are thirteen other explanations for the adolescent mental health crisis. None of them work.
17 votes -
A brief rundown of some of the flaws of the Cass review
14 votes -
Idaho libraries must move materials deemed harmful to children, or face lawsuits, under new law
24 votes -
Parenthood venting thread
I think my son is the cutest six-month-old that has ever lived, but damn, this month has been so hard. We all had COVID in the beginning of March, so my wife and I burned a bunch of sick days...
I think my son is the cutest six-month-old that has ever lived, but damn, this month has been so hard.
We all had COVID in the beginning of March, so my wife and I burned a bunch of sick days while being very ill, exhausted, and awake all night with a screaming baby. Screaming.
He got better for about 2 days and then immediately got a nasty cold which he kindly passed to us. More sick days, more screaming, less sleep than we got with COVID.
The cold turned into an ear infection after two weeks of horrible congestion, so his doctor put him on Amoxicillin. Except the Amoxicillin didn't work on the ear infection after 9 days of treatment. Oh, and he started having bloody diarrhea.
We went to the doctor immediately and they said, "Oh, yeah, that's definitely blood and that's not great. We're going to try a different antibiotic now and send his stool to get tested."
Then, my washing machine, which was full of diarrhea pajamas, broke down. After several hours of tear down, I was able to drain it and replace the drain pump.
Washing machine was working great, except the gasket/seal on the door is old and didn't go back on properly during the repair. Water on the floor (minor leak, no big) and now have to deal with replacing that.
Meanwhile, the kid still doesn't sleep at night and seems to communicate mainly through crying, whining, and grunting. The fact that he isn't babbling, squealing, or mimicking us is honestly a little stressful. He's six months old and I'm seeing him "become conscious" in a lot of really amazing ways. His laugh is absolutely incredible, he plays with toys in what seems like a pretty advanced way, he is crushing his physical and cognitive milestones way ahead of schedule, but he has a handful of social milestones he hasn't hit yet. My wife has autism in her family and I have ADHD, so any developmental delays are obviously pretty concerning to me. He is making eye contact and laughing though, so I guess that's good.
I really shouldn't complain. I'm a teacher and we just had a week off. Most people don't get that. But I'm so exhausted and work tomorrow just sounds daunting. We can't send the kiddo to daycare with bloody diarrhea and I seriously cannot take any more sick days this year. I guess one silver lining is that my mother-in-law came up from out of state when my wife told her she was losing her sanity over all of this. So, we do have a couple days of childcare covered this week.
Tl;Dr: Month from hell.
Edit: I'll add a positive. He was super funny and full of laughs today and yesterday during the day time (night time still isn't fun). He also seemed to get a little scared during the eclipse today during totality, and I think that's adorable in a way. He did a pouty whine and only stopped when I put him closer to me and let him see my face.
Anyone else want to share some war stories?
38 votes -
Jury finds Jennifer Crumbley, the Michigan school shooter’s mother, guilty of manslaughter
56 votes -
Groundbreaking lawsuit accuses Roblox of exploiting young creators
22 votes -
The costs of a phone-based childhood
35 votes -
How did you decide on a daycare for your small child/children?
Hello, I hope this is the right place for this kind of question. I've thought about posting it for a few weeks now but didn't know whether I should or not. My wife has recently opened a small home...
Hello, I hope this is the right place for this kind of question. I've thought about posting it for a few weeks now but didn't know whether I should or not.
My wife has recently opened a small home daycare. We tailored everything to what we would look for if we needed daycare for our child, which was a small class size (5 children max), fully licensed and compliant with all local and state laws (which a lot of other places aren't), plenty of safe indoor and outdoor space (including a whole damn playground), and a learning-based curriculum rather than just babysitting. We have gotten a couple of people to sign up, but are having a rough time attracting more. Some people message us to ask questions, but then never reply when we provide answers. We've tried lowering our prices a bit to get started, and we're very flexible when it comes to time and needs.
So I'm just wondering, for any parents out there who have or have had small children and needed daycare, how did you decide on a place? Where/how did you find this place? And what about it stood out to you? Was it the price? Location? Recommendation of a close friend?
Any insight would be appreciated, thanks.
19 votes -
12-year-old student opened fire at a secondary school in southern Finland on Tuesday morning, killing one and seriously wounding two other students, police said
39 votes -
Children predict the year 2000 (1966, video)
25 votes -
Microsoft, Rockstar, Epic, and others are being sued for using "addictive psychological features" in games like Minecraft, GTA 5, and Fortnite
28 votes -
Florida latest to restrict social media for kids as legal battle looms
22 votes -
VHEMT: the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement
31 votes -
The island of violent Basketball
4 votes -
Black LGBTQ+ youth need spaces that embrace them fully, US researchers say
7 votes -
Teaching coding to an eight year old with Scratch?
I have a relative whose 8 year old has shown a keen interest in coding. He even takes books out of the library about coding even though he's never done it and I dont think he understands most of...
I have a relative whose 8 year old has shown a keen interest in coding. He even takes books out of the library about coding even though he's never done it and I dont think he understands most of what he's reading. Seems like a little Bill Gates just dying to get started.
I used to teach LOGO to kids back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth and I looked at some recent versions. Its good, and the logic is all there, but the end results are fairly mundane for a kid who's already experienced amazing video games. Then I stumbled across Scratch, a much more visual programming tool and it seems to fit what we need. Scratch allows kids to make animations, simple games, even do motion detection, music all with sprites that they can manipulate using drag and drop coding blocks. Lots of online video tutorials that he can follow himself too. https://scratch.mit.edu/
Before I dive headlong into Scratch, just wondering if there are other even better tools for teaching coding to kids? Or what your experience might be with them?
20 votes -
Death of nonbinary teen Nex Benedict after school fight is ruled a suicide, medical examiner says
34 votes -
Marathon runner, 12, sets her sights on 2028 Olympics
5 votes -
Children to no longer be prescribed puberty blockers, NHS England confirms
42 votes -
New York midwife fined for giving 1,500 children homeopathic pellets instead of vaccines
42 votes -
One in four school-starters in England and Wales not toilet-trained, say teachers
40 votes -
How parents' trauma leaves biological traces in children
18 votes -
The limits of the lunchbox moment
14 votes