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    1. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like infowars, selfhosted and groups. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like infowars, selfhosted and groups. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was pondering.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      8 votes
    2. Is empathizing by sharing experience not normal?

      So I've watched this If Neurodivergents Conducted Job Interviews Like Neurotypicals and one thing struck me as odd. Is it not like normal when somebody tells you they've been sick recently for you...

      So I've watched this If Neurodivergents Conducted Job Interviews Like Neurotypicals and one thing struck me as odd. Is it not like normal when somebody tells you they've been sick recently for you to share your own experience with similar condition?

      I do have ADHD and automatically share when this exact situation comes up, but is this like a no-no among neurotypical folks?

      29 votes
    3. Unable to feel progress, lack of happiness and not finding motivation to keep investing

      Hey Tildes, Recently I picked up WoW again and I've felt a rush and focus I haven't felt for a while. I can play the game for an entire day. I feel nothing but guilt doing so. The one thing that...

      Hey Tildes,

      Recently I picked up WoW again and I've felt a rush and focus I haven't felt for a while. I can play the game for an entire day. I feel nothing but guilt doing so. The one thing that gives me joy feels like something I'm not allowed to do at this stage of my life; I'm 35.

      I'm in grouptherapy until march next year but I feel I'm not making any sensible progress. Others around me seem to open and loosen up, finding tangible changes that help their lives. Meanwhile I just keep resenting myself, dread doing anything that might even cost effort.

      I feel I'm a fraud, a selfless good-for-nothing profiteer who blames anything but me. It fuels my self-hatred and my wish to self-isolate and act in self-destructive behavior. I also notice a growing bitterness as I get older.

      26 votes
    4. What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga)

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was...

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

      If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

      7 votes
    5. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      6 votes
    6. I was brusque with my family today

      Most of my family members (notably everyone in the older generation) are variously xenophobic (very), transphobic (plenty) and racist (enough). They're openly right wing populist party voters. In...

      Most of my family members (notably everyone in the older generation) are variously xenophobic (very), transphobic (plenty) and racist (enough). They're openly right wing populist party voters. In family gatherings, or even in online messaging, I normally ignore them or try to divert the conversation away from their stupid political takes - even the ones who know I am pansexual are likely to say some nasty shit, showing (I believe) that they don't have a drop of respect for me or my gay brother. There is nothing I can ever convince them of, political or not, because (I believe) they will always treat my arguments with disdain, regardless of any reason or evidence. I don't think much better of their politics myself, since I find most of their constant complaining about entire classes of people they've never even interacted with incredibly tiresome, not to mention wholly inconsistent with their supposed christian values (I know, this situation sounds very american, even though I am not.)

      I personally believe there is some value in some, but not all, arguments that are for restricting or reorganizing immigration at this time, mainly due to problems stemming from years of lazy policymaking, and in some right wing fiscal policy (we have some extremely expensive and inefficient government programmes right now - NOT health or education - and misguided protectionism of certain huge and mismanaged private companies), so we can usually meet on that common ground.

      Today at a gathering an aunt decided out of the blue to loudly proclaim how happy she was that Donald Trump was elected in the US. Other relatives quickly agreed, after which they started a conversation about how a Trump presidency will be good for the economy. At this point I will just politely say I didn't understand what they were talking about (my thoughts weren't as kind at the time); we are not americans, and I have the notion that Trump is an isolationist who admires dictators and despises the EU and doesn't value us as allies; I am led to believe he wants to do things with regard to defense, tariffs, etc. that are unambiguously bad for us and will directly translate into a harder life and more danger for Europeans over the next few years.

      A younger relative then said he was happy that we finally had "an insane dictator" on "our side". According to him, none of the crazy authoritarians in the world respected a man like Biden, but they were wary of Trump, since Trump is unpredictable. I remember hearing this argument eight years ago, but I'm not so sure of this. Historically, as I said, Trump seems to me to fawn over strongmen and demagogues leading other nations, while he hasn't exactly conveyed that he is "on our side". As far as I know, he's been suspiciously an enabler of Vladimir Putin, for instance.

      So at this point I explained to my family that we weren't there to discuss politics and the politics conversation was to end immediately or I was going to start insulting people.

      I'd like you all to tell me if I'm in the wrong here. Am I out of touch? Can you explain my family's perspective to me in a way that makes them sound less insane? This isn't some kind of bait. Just because I don't like Donald Trump (and neither do the majority of people in this community, AFAIK), I pride myself in being a fairly rational person. I can be convinced of things, as long as there's rationally constructed argument underpinning them. Maybe there's some value to their position?

      17 votes
    7. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      12 votes
    8. TV Tuesdays Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      10 votes
    9. November 2024 Backlog Burner: Week 2 Discussion

      Week 2 has begun! Post your current bingo cards. Continue updating us on your games! If you did not participate in Week 1 but want to start this week, that's fine! Reminder: playing bingo is...

      Week 2 has begun!

      Post your current bingo cards.
      Continue updating us on your games!

      If you did not participate in Week 1 but want to start this week, that's fine!
      Reminder: playing bingo is OPTIONAL.

      Quick links:


      Week 1 Recap

      11 participants played 10 bingo cards and moved 17 games out of their backlogs!
      There were 0 bingo wins.

      • 6 people played Flow bingo cards
      • 4 people played Flux bingo cards
      • 1 person played free choice

      Game list:

      16 votes
    10. How do people get over enshittification?

      Enshittificiation, or in my own words, "how everything starts to suck on purpose", has somewhat come to rule my life, and thus, ruin my life. An example I'm thinking about right now is socks. I...

      Enshittificiation, or in my own words, "how everything starts to suck on purpose", has somewhat come to rule my life, and thus, ruin my life.

      An example I'm thinking about right now is socks. I bought a certain pair of socks probably ten years ago now. I liked them and took for granted that I would be able to purchase this sock or type of sock at any given time. Fast-forward ten years, and the sock is gone. And it feels like no other sock compares.

      What's really going on in my mind is, "I know there is better out there, and this is just a choice of the manufacturer to be greedy". Except in this circumstance, the "there" is my fantasy land of the past.

      So I ask you all, how do you move on from this? Because what happens for me is I just don't buy new socks, and instead hold on to my tatters (most of them still work decently, but nowhere near as well as they used to). I have tried randomly buying socks to get over my fear of failure (choosing the wrong socks and wasting money and contributing to global waste and contributing to materialism and general clutter in my house, etc.); But this just furthers the issue because I confirm that the other socks are shit and this seems like a fruitless endeavor, as such, in addition to going against my morals and values I listed above.

      Thank you for any advice or help!

      *EDIT
      Thank you all for a rousing discussion, as usual.

      Here are some of my Major Takeaways:

      • Mend and Repair
      • Buy local/artisinal
      • Research new brands and check my assumptions since the last time I checked on something.
      • Fight it - buy vintage, see also: repair and mend.
      • Custom/Bespoke
      • Be thankful for the things that I do find that fit my criteria, and buy multiples of those.
      • Carpe diem - when I find something good really seize the moment and indulge. (This is to combat over analysis paralysis that others shared).
      • Accept that some of this is the "New Normal" (This is to reduce my distress over the situation).

      Lastly, one clarification, I'd like to add that on the subject of clothing or other comforts in particular, it is extra painful to lose something you love, like a clothing item, when you are not an "average" person. Sensory issues, body shapes, and fashion tastes can be so limiting when you are not within the bell curve, and so it is not a trivial subject to mourn the loss of something you once had, and fear that you will never find something like it again.

      64 votes
    11. SEO or traffic direction help

      This will include a shameless plug as I need someone to help analyse what I can do to improve it, pretty please. I am out of ideas. So, Https://thunderlizard.co.uk is my wife's website. It is a...

      This will include a shameless plug as I need someone to help analyse what I can do to improve it, pretty please. I am out of ideas.

      So, Https://thunderlizard.co.uk is my wife's website. It is a personalised clothing and gifts store based in the UK. It's hosted on 20i, and uses their CDN and caching, which isn't that great but it works okay.

      It's Wordpress and Woocommerce and is store only, no blog at this time. Even with Rankmath installed, using SEO heavy product descriptions (and short descriptions), tags, categories, etc, and using both Index Now and Google Products plugin, it's not scoring well or showing up much in product or general searches.

      I've read plenty of guides and put into practice as much as I can. The next thing to try is backlinks from quality sources, which Google are supposed to be phasing out. The issue is, what am I backlinking to if it's not simply the products? Can anyone advise me on what I can do to help?

      A lot of her sales come via her Etsy store, but they absolutely destroy your profit margin with taxes and service costs. When she's making only a couple of quid here and there, profit margins matter. We're trying hard to push people towards the website, hence needing advice to allow people to find it. Is it simply that it's a hugely flooded market and it's like swimming in the Pacific and trying to stand out?

      Rebuilt - please review - 2024/11/14

      6 votes
    12. Who's watching crypto at the moment?

      Crypto has always been an odd one for me. Considering I'm in the IT field and generally techy, I've always remained skeptical. That didn't stop me throwing about £100 into some DOGE, XRP and ETH...

      Crypto has always been an odd one for me.

      Considering I'm in the IT field and generally techy, I've always remained skeptical. That didn't stop me throwing about £100 into some DOGE, XRP and ETH awhile back. They peaked around $880 and I almost cashed out. I wish I had because they fell back and were worth around $140 for the longest while.

      Suddenly it's sitting at around $400 and I'm wondering whether to hold my nerve or cash out.

      Anyone big into crypto and have any advice?

      12 votes
    13. Weekly US politics news and updates thread - week of November 11

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate...

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate topic, but almost all should be posted in here.

      This is an inherently political thread; please try to avoid antagonistic arguments and bickering matches. Comment threads that devolve into unproductive arguments may be removed so that the overall topic is able to continue.

      6 votes
    14. If you had to start a blog and post even though very few may read it, what would get you blogging weekly?

      I was thinking about one of the threads here about missing the specific subcultures on Reddit. Maybe we just aren't in the habit of sharing our interests or want to know who else is interested in...

      I was thinking about one of the threads here about missing the specific subcultures on Reddit. Maybe we just aren't in the habit of sharing our interests or want to know who else is interested in the subculture.

      If absolutely forced to, I could probably blog about:

      • Occasional game learnings - either new games or specific mechanics in games
      • things in relation to the city I live in (I still check this on Reddit)
      • Recipes or foods I've tried to make or bought and liked with a bent towards fermentation, coffee, plant-based stuff
      • smart articles I thought were worth recommending to others, or fun facts.
      • software - nothing super technical, but either small projects, language learnings, thoughts around companies. Maybe occasional "software used to make art" stuff I stumbled upon
      • Episode reviews of detective shows, kdramas, and anime
      • Deleting Instagram and trying to export my saved posts without using a script (my advice... code review something online and use that script) and other things in relation to introversion
      19 votes
    15. What are some good YouTube channels/shows/series related to travel?

      Recently I just came across this channel Ilya Varlamov , great quality video content related to travel. Thought I should share this channel. I also watch Not Just Bikes , it's more related to...

      Recently I just came across this channel Ilya Varlamov , great quality video content related to travel. Thought I should share this channel.
      I also watch Not Just Bikes , it's more related to Urban planning, but you get to explore a lot about the countries.
      Then is series called Scam City , It gives great info about native people trying to scam tourist's.
      Series called Deadliest Roads , Shows the tough life of the native people with bad Road networks.

      What all Youtube channels/Series you watch related to travel?

      11 votes
    16. ADHD and TODO lists

      I hate TODO lists. Even when they're for a single day. I inevitably put more in my TODO list than I can accomplish in a day. When the new day begins, and I see the tasks I did not accomplish...

      I hate TODO lists. Even when they're for a single day.

      I inevitably put more in my TODO list than I can accomplish in a day. When the new day begins, and I see the tasks I did not accomplish before, I feel anxious, sad, and even ashamed. Then I find some of that anxiety is for how my partner will judge me for the unfinished tasks on my list that she tells herself she expected me to accomplish.

      While I have worked on self-compassion for years, occasionally it is not there. I have worked on having boundaries between my partner's own issues and my mental health.

      I wonder how others with ADHD, particular those with partners, cope.

      EDIT: I started using an allegedly ADHD-friendly planner yesterday. These feelings came pouring out of me this morning, hence the post. Yet I've had these similar difficulties for years.

      38 votes
    17. How do you deal with work-related stress?

      Here’s a topic that I would like to hear some opinions (advice) on. I work in a pretty demanding software role. The positives: I am well compensated and I like the work I do. It also helps that I...

      Here’s a topic that I would like to hear some opinions (advice) on. I work in a pretty demanding software role. The positives: I am well compensated and I like the work I do. It also helps that I work on a genuinely useful product whose sole purpose is not only to extract profits from the consumer base. I also do not work overtime.

      Therefore I am covered on all bases: moral, financial and personal interest. However, for the past year or so my responsibilities have grown, and I have to juggle more and more (both in number of tasks, their complexity & deadlines) during the same period of time (remember, no overtime).

      So now I find myself periodically stressed for longer & longer periods of time. I don’t have energy and motivation for my hobbies, and I dread having to engage in anything more intensive than the occasional walk. But I can tell that this state of being is not sustainable for the long term.

      To whoever can relate: what are your thoughts?

      Edit: some good things that I have going for myself, that help a little; I have a good sleep schedule, I rarely drink, I don’t stay connected to work outside working hours and I have a very supportive partner.

      36 votes
    18. Satisfactory tips and tricks?

      I'm completely hooked on this game. My buddy and I have been sneaking in some Satisfactory at night when our families are in bed. If it makes it funnier, you can picture it like a secret love...

      I'm completely hooked on this game.

      My buddy and I have been sneaking in some Satisfactory at night when our families are in bed. If it makes it funnier, you can picture it like a secret love affair. Late night messages, slipping in and out bed trying not to wake the wives, and mid-day texts about our big plans (with our factories). Friends, I literally play this game in my head when I'm not able to play for real. And it's just as good since most of it based around planning.

      Anyway, I'm surprised by the depth. A lot of it is intentional while a lot of the rest is the natural result of players kind of hacking the build mode to do things you can't normally do such as curves and 1 meter vertical conveyers.

      What are your favorite tips and tricks for this game?

      28 votes
    19. Looking for eclectic and little-known websites that bring joy

      Given the current state of things, I have been trying to avoid internet sites that could trigger anxiety. This is harder to do that I thought it would be. So I'm reaching out to the fine and...

      Given the current state of things, I have been trying to avoid internet sites that could trigger anxiety. This is harder to do that I thought it would be. So I'm reaching out to the fine and resourceful Tildes collective for links to sites that are less known, and may provide, if not joy, at least interest, uniqueness maybe, fun, or education? Stuff that may be comforting, engrossing, or diverting to give some respite to those of us who are feeling pretty crushed.

      Here are two sites I can offer, but I don't want to limit anyone's idea of what might be a good suggestion.

      Futility Closet "is a collection of entertaining curiosities in history, literature, language, art, philosophy, and mathematics, designed to help you waste time as enjoyably as possible." (description from their about page)

      Strange Company bills itself as "a Walk of the Weird Side of History"

      (edited to add links)

      58 votes
    20. What are your favorite “chore” games?

      A loose definition of a “chore” game would be: A game in which you repeatedly do relatively unexciting tasks to work towards a larger goal. The fun often comes from: A sense of progress/completion...

      A loose definition of a “chore” game would be:

      A game in which you repeatedly do relatively unexciting tasks to work towards a larger goal. The fun often comes from:

      • A sense of progress/completion that builds over time
      • Fighting entropy/restoring order
      • Converting effort into currency
      • Unlocking quality of life features over time that make the tasks easier/more engaging

      A perfect example would be PowerWash Simulator. In fact, these games are often called “simulator” games or have the word in their title (though not always, and not all “simulator” games are specifically “chore” games).

      Which ones are your favorites? What do you enjoy about them?

      27 votes