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    1. What do I do if I don't have any clothes?

      No, I don't just mean "I don't really like my clothes" or "my clothes aren't universal enough" or whatever. I literally have almost no clothes: maybe like 5 T-Shirts in total, 2 pairs of jeans,...

      No, I don't just mean "I don't really like my clothes" or "my clothes aren't universal enough" or whatever. I literally have almost no clothes: maybe like 5 T-Shirts in total, 2 pairs of jeans, some socks and underwear. The issue is not just with me disliking my clothes - the issue is that half of the time I'll wake up and find out that I have zero clean clothes to wear.

      Luckily, this is not a financial issue, and I can afford to get clothes. However, I have absolutely no idea where to start. Most of the information online exists with the assumption that you already have some sort of a wardrobe that you want to expand. I tried just going to a mall and going into every clothing store, but I end up not liking most of the stuff there and only buying like a single shirt. I know that that's how most people buy clothes, but again, those people usually already have enough clothing, so buying a single shirt is fine for them.

      At this point, even just thinking about any clothing-related activities immediately trigger severe anxiety and dread in me. I feel very lost and don't know what to do.

      Can anyone please suggest what to do in a situation like this?


      Edit: I live in Russia, so well known brands aren't that easy to buy

      28 votes
    2. Why don't we do more food-based activism?

      In the past few months I have been reading a lot about historical food culture. It's kind of amazing how much things have changed here in the US. Over the last century or so we have basically...

      In the past few months I have been reading a lot about historical food culture. It's kind of amazing how much things have changed here in the US. Over the last century or so we have basically eliminated communal eating and massively changed the economics of prepared meals. At one point we had automats and cafeterias which skipped out on most of the "front of house" service and focused on serving large volumes of people to keep prices low. There were also diners, which are much different from what we consider to be a diner today; they were very small places that only prepared simple things that needed very little labor to prepare; things like hash browns, sandwiches, or pancakes, so the food was still very cheap. But because they were small, they were able to serve smaller markets that other restaurants were not able to capitalize on. Compare that to today, where diners are just restaurants that have 50s style decor.

      But the thing I think is much more unusual is how rare we see food used in service of a message. It's something that has a long history across the globe. Most notably, religions operate food kitchens that help to bring poor people into their folds. Some religions actually have a built-in food culture that includes feeding your neighbors. It's really effective too; there's a small chain of restaurants where I live that has inexpensive food which has some bhuddist texts at the dining tables, and honestly it had me considering joining a religion for the first time. If I spoke Chinese they might have got me! Eating food requires a baseline of trust, so if you can get someone to eat at your restaurant you will bypass a lot of the caution that people approach the world with.

      With that being said, why isn't food-based activism a lot more popular? I'm sure that it would work for much more than religion. A restaurant that acts as a messaging platform doesn't necessarily need to be funded by food sales, so they can undercut the competition on price and reach an even greater audience. Given the ways I have seen religions use food to further their means, I think that it could even go farther than changing people's minds about topics and actually motivate people to take action and join communities who are actually making real change. Food is both relatively inexpensive and it's something that everyone needs to survive, so it seems to me that food-based activism is the single largest missed opportunity for community organization.

      19 votes
    3. Former naturalists/materialists, what changed your view?

      There have been a number of threads recently that have touched on this topic recently, and I thought the conversation deserved its own place. My default worldview for the past decade+ has been...

      There have been a number of threads recently that have touched on this topic recently, and I thought the conversation deserved its own place.

      My default worldview for the past decade+ has been something best characterized as naturalistic or materialist (the totality of reality can be explained by material and its interactions.) I've had a few things challenge this view recently, namely the "Hard Problem of Consciousness." I'll post my own comment about what moved me from hard materialist to agnostic on materialism, but I encourage you to post your own reasoning in your comment!

      28 votes
    4. TV Tuesdays Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      2 votes
    5. Voting thread 2 Tildes Book Club

      As soon as Deimos graciously adds the nominated book titles, we will be voting on the next set of books to read for the book club. Voting will close end of day Thursday May 2 Pacific time. If you...

      As soon as Deimos graciously adds the nominated book titles, we will be voting on the next set of books to read for the book club. Voting will close end of day Thursday May 2 Pacific time.

      If you plan to read with us, please upvote as many as five titles. We will select at least four, possibly more if there are books with solid support. Each voting thread requires Deimos to work, and I am going to have less availability for a few months so we want to select books to read for the next few months.

      I look forward to reading and discussing with you all.

      17 votes
    6. What would you recommend for a single, minimal, "overview-of-the-world" news source?

      I'm getting ready to try a long-term media fast, at least a month or two. That means no Social, no general forum talk (I have a couple of task-specific groups I have to stick with), no general...

      I'm getting ready to try a long-term media fast, at least a month or two. That means no Social, no general forum talk (I have a couple of task-specific groups I have to stick with), no general Internet browsing, and minimal news.

      But I don't want to completely divorce myself from the major news events of the world. In case Russia invades the EU, I want to know about it before Russian soldiers are knocking on my door. If a new global pandemic kicks off, or they fix global warming ... you know, Big Ticket items.

      So that's the question. If you only get one news source, that provides objective (-ish) reporting focused on actual news (not sports, not pop culture, not click-bait-y diet-fads and vitamin recommendations) ... news of the state of the world (preferably including the world beyond the United States).

      I realize there probably isn't a single source that hits all my bullets, but that's okay; I just need one that's close.

      Danke, y gracias.

      Edit: For now, my first pick is AP News' World News section ( https://apnews.com/world-news ). So, that's sort of my baseline; anything better than that available?

      Edit #2: So, apparently, AP News has either handicapped or completely eliminated their RSS feed(s); I'm getting some results, but all old and suspiciously incomplete, and the 'Net is full of "here's how to cobble together the equivalent of a real AP News RSS feed" tips. So, unless I figure this out quickly, I'm just about to lose interest in AP News.

      Anyone have any tips on this?

      23 votes
    7. Movie of the Week #27 - Fargo

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Last in the line of prominent female leading roles is Fargo from 1996 directed by the Coen brothers and starring Frances McDormand.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Besides any thoughts on this movie, what did you think of Frances McDormand's performance in this?


      The schedule for May is:

      • 6th: Pan's Labyrinth
      • 13th: The Zone of Interest
      • 20th: Luxury Car
      • 27th: The Tree of Life
      9 votes
    8. Stops along a drive from Texas to Pennsylvania

      Hey y'all! In about a month I need to drive from San Antonio, Texas to State College, Pennsylvania. The current plan is to take I35 to I30 and I40, which will take me through Dallas, Little Rock,...

      Hey y'all! In about a month I need to drive from San Antonio, Texas to State College, Pennsylvania. The current plan is to take I35 to I30 and I40, which will take me through Dallas, Little Rock, Nashville, Louisville, Cincinnati, Columbus, and just outside Pittsburgh.

      It's a long drive, so I'm looking for a few places to stop along the way and stretch my legs. I know it's a large area and this is a very vague question, but does anyone know any particularly interesting places to stop?

      15 votes
    9. Is there an intuitive (but powerful) music thingie?

      Sorry about the headline. (not really) I know it doesn't make all that much sense. The thing is, I bought a Dubreq Stylophone Beatbox (review here) and it's really quite fun to play around with....

      Sorry about the headline. (not really) I know it doesn't make all that much sense. The thing is, I bought a Dubreq Stylophone Beatbox (review here) and it's really quite fun to play around with. At its core, it lets you record and play your own rhythms in a loop. It sort of feels like an unholy mix between a musical instrument and an editor.

      The problem is that I can't save as an editable format (midi or ... whatever) or import new instruments, so while its great fun and quite powerful (I composed this) I still feel the need for something more flexible. Also, I accidently borrowed it away, so while I still "own" it, I don't actually have it as such.

      So, are there any other thingie which (gonna repeat the headline here) are fun and intuitive, yet still grants me some more power compared to what is offered by the Stylophone Beatbox? I don't mind if it is a program of a physical thing.


      EDIT: Thanks all! I had expected one, maybe two suggestions, so, wow! This is pretty much a new world to me, and I'm floored that there's so much music stuff available. I'm slowly beginning to get some sort of overview of it all.


      28 votes
    10. Tildes Book Club second nominations thread

      Edit nominations are now closed If you think you might be interested to read with us, please name between one and five books you find intriguing and think others might enjoy. We will later have a...

      Edit nominations are now closed

      If you think you might be interested to read with us, please name between one and five books you find intriguing and think others might enjoy. We will later have a voting thread so that each nomination gets an equal shot to win votes with no early nomination advantage.

      Please feel free to nominate both fiction and nonfiction and consider nominating a diverse selection of books and authors. Books should be 600 pages or shorter. The first books in series are fair game for nominations if they tell a complete story.

      If anyone is curious about the timing, we still have two books to read from the original nominations, but I will be traveling a lot this summer and may not be in a position to manage a nomination and voting thread then, so I want to get this sorted earlier.

      21 votes
    11. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      8 votes
    12. What programming/technical projects have you been working on?

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's...

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

      21 votes
    13. The "Great Games"- AAA titles, easy brand recognition- are what everyone pushes. But sometimes you need a "just average" game.

      With life, work and other hobbies, I confess I'm not the gamer I used to be- lack of time being the main culprit. But RPGs- specifically Fantasy Fantasy- are the type I've always loved. Since...

      With life, work and other hobbies, I confess I'm not the gamer I used to be- lack of time being the main culprit. But RPGs- specifically Fantasy Fantasy- are the type I've always loved. Since then, hack-n-slash (I'll keep calling them this name!), action-adventure... I've enjoyed them too.

      Given those genres, I'm sure you can think of big-name titles that are excellent. Cool. That's not what this is about. I should also add, I'm going back two generations with this, to the PS3.

      You may have heard of a game called Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning. It's never been called a bad game, but phrased as "it's definitely a dungeon crawler". It's certainly NOT a big name game. And yet... I've been putting in TONS of hours to it recently. For a game that isn't one of the Big Names (I actually do have Final Fantasy and many other Big Name games), I'm finding it to be massively fun. I'm wondering if because it's a relatively uncomplicated game- and I admit I also chose Casual mode.

      Meanwhile, I also got Monster Hunter: Rise on Steam- it was on a MASSIVE discount. This is DEFINITELY a Big Name game... and Holy Shit. Barely an hour into the game, and it just throws so much at you at once. Granted, playing it on PC rather than Switch is probably also a factor. I wouldn't describe it as complicated... more like, it gives you hundreds of options right from the start, and it feels very overwhelming. And that seems to be the case with games that have been around for a while and are well-known: they give you tons of options early-game. For some people, that's probably awesome- I suppose those with lots of time could easily spend hours working on it. But for someone who has limited time? It almost feels like too much.

      Or in other words: those of us with not so much time, having fewer options to worry about is a better things. And that seems to be something only found in "not great" titles. I get that gamers want tons of options- been there, done that- but I find myself wanting fewer things thrown at me now.

      20 votes
    14. What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga)

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was...

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

      If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

      14 votes
    15. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      6 votes
    16. Setting up a pen-turning workshop for my son — need advice!

      My son recently made a pen in his high school shop class and absolutely loved the process. With summer approaching, I've been toying with the idea of setting him up with his own pen-turning...

      My son recently made a pen in his high school shop class and absolutely loved the process. With summer approaching, I've been toying with the idea of setting him up with his own pen-turning station rather than the typical summer job route.
      Here’s where I could use your expertise:

      Lathe Choices: I'm looking at a couple of options from Harbor Freight—there’s a $300 model and a $550 variable speed one. How crucial is variable speed for a beginner? Would the basic model suffice for starting out, or is the upgrade worth it in the long run?

      Chisels: I don’t want to cut corners on quality, especially for cutting tools. Any recommendations for brands or specific tools that are good for beginners but can also handle more advanced projects as he improves?

      Essentials List: Besides the lathe, what are some must-have tools for pen turning? I already have the basics covered with a table saw, miter saw, dust collection system, and drill press.

      Learning Resources: Any favorite videos, books, or other resources that could help both of us learn more about pen turning would be greatly appreciated.

      I want to encourage him to sell them, but I'm also completely fine if they end up as Christmas gifts for the family. I’m excited to encourage my son’s new interest and would really appreciate your input on how to create a great setup for him. Thanks in advance for your help and suggestions!

      16 votes
    17. Nominate for "Movie of the Week" in May - Cannes Film Festival

      Voting closed The Cannes Film Festival is in May and I thought we should find four movies related to Cannes to watch in May. Maybe a bit of a risk since it isn't exactly full of well known...

      Voting closed

      The Cannes Film Festival is in May and I thought we should find four movies related to Cannes to watch in May. Maybe a bit of a risk since it isn't exactly full of well known mainstream movies, but I promise there is more to choose from than French arthouse movies. The criteria is simple, the movie must have been presented at the Cannes Film Festival at some point.

      On the official website you can browse through all movies that has been in competition over the years. To narrow it down there is a list of all the Palme d’Or winners or more broadly every movie that have won any award at Cannes. This list all movies that have been in competition per year in alphabetical order

      Rules

      • Have been in the official program on the Cannes Film Festival in any year
      • Not one we have done before
      • Only one nomination per user
      • Please only nominate if you intent to participate
      • Upvote the post(s) with a nomination you would like to be picked for discussion next month
      • Please state the title of the movie clearly on the first line, and add any additional general comments in the next paragraph to keep voting simple

      In case of ties in the number of votes, random.org will decide. Voting closes Sunday.

      6 votes
    18. Where are you on the spectrum of vacation planning? Detailed to the hour or floating like a leaf in the wind?

      The wife and I are trying to plan a little road trip this summer and we can't even pick a direction so far, let alone a destination. We're realizing part of the difficulty is that we value...

      The wife and I are trying to plan a little road trip this summer and we can't even pick a direction so far, let alone a destination. We're realizing part of the difficulty is that we value spontaneity over planning our vacation.

      Some of our best times on vacation have been totally serendipitous - like pulling into Pocatello, Idaho and finding out it has a Museum of Clean, which sounds very quirky. And it was. But also quite entertaining as the founder toured us through some of the many ways that people have engineered things to keep their homes clean over the past century or so. Thats not something we'd ever plan ahead to see but it was a fun and entertaining afternoon.

      Or pulling into Rawlins, Wyoming and finding out it has the Wyoming Frontier Prison, which is preserved as a museum with lots of interesting stories of its former prisoners. We toured the cell blocks, cafeteria, showers, and then got to into the 'death house' where the hangings took place. And its the first and last time you'll ever get to sit in a gas chamber!

      Looking back though, we've missed some great things too. Like getting to San Francisco and realizing that tours of Alcatraz have been been booked up for weeks. Or finding out that we were a few days early to see all the bikes in Sturgis. Or that if you dont have a destination in Iowa, all youre going to see is miles and miles and miles of corn. And then more corn. Oh well, better luck next time? Or better planning?

      Which are you, a detail planner or a fly by the seat of your pants vacationer?

      28 votes
    19. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      7 votes
    20. What programming/technical projects have you been working on?

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's...

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

      17 votes
    21. New Music Fridays: Owen, Justice, Full of Hell, and more

      Albums typically release on Fridays. This is a thread to discuss week of April 26, 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share...

      Albums typically release on Fridays. This is a thread to discuss week of April 26, 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your eye and interest, or share your thoughts about any new music that you've had the chance to listen to this week. I suppose let's try to keep the focus mostly on stuff that was released or announced this week, since we already have a "What have you been listening to?" thread.

      Discussion Points
      Is there anything you've been looking forward to listening to?
      Any releases that have surprised you?
      Have you listened to any new music recently? What are your thoughts?
      What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past? How does their latest work compare?

      Links:
      Pitchfork - Out This Week
      AllMusic - All New Releases
      Stereogum - New Music
      Shreddit Release Tracker
      New Metal and Hardcore Releases - Lambgoat
      Heavy Metal Album Release Calendar - Heavy Music HQ
      Upcoming albums - Encyclopaedia Metallum: The Metal Archives

      10 votes
    22. Cartoons such as Steven Universe, Gravity Falls, or Avatar?

      What I love about these series is the overarching plot that isn't too obvious, lots of character growth, and a great mix of comedy and seriousness between episodes. A show I tried that was...

      What I love about these series is the overarching plot that isn't too obvious, lots of character growth, and a great mix of comedy and seriousness between episodes.

      A show I tried that was advertised as similar was Star vs. the Forces of Evil that was a little too in your face with a lol random personality that I don't really click with.

      No restrictions on time period, and feel free to suggest anime if it fits the bill, I just posted in TV as I these aren't anime and I don't have much experience in the area.

      39 votes
    23. As I get older, I get more and more disillusioned with "activism", and I'm fine with this

      Long story short, I grew up believing that a great deal of worth of someone's life was effecting change, especially politically. That's why I valued activism. It took courage, especially...

      Long story short, I grew up believing that a great deal of worth of someone's life was effecting change, especially politically. That's why I valued activism. It took courage, especially considering I don't live in a developed country.

      The older I got and more problems I faced, I started to realize how unsatisfactory, even hollow this was. Modes of activism I engaged in didn't seem to fulfill me emotionally anymore, they were mostly impersonal, and they didn't seem to change anything. I have a lot of views that are extremely unorthodox for the place I live in, and I don't see any political movement that internalizes those values. I am extremely alienated from the "nation" I am supposedly part of, and from the political movements within it.

      Another angle is that I recently realized how misguided I was. I was mostly doing mental labor, believing in the axiom that ideas can change things. But after some time and readings, I started thinking activities that aim for collective action and concrete changes (e.g. syndicates) were much more important. These are not available to me.

      I feel like I have wasted a lot of my time. I pursued ideals more than my own emotional needs, believing they would make me happy and fulfilled, and they didn't. I pursued a way of engaging in politics that felt good but didn't effect change.

      Don't get me wrong, while this is exasperating, it's also extremely liberating, joyful even. I enjoy the moments of quiet destruction that bring about the new. I no longer feel ashamed to admit I want comfort and stability in my life, and I don't want to take unnecessary risks. I have enough problems as is.

      With this being said, I haven't given up on effecting change. I think it's much more convoluted and different than what I imagined when I was younger, and it's not generally about "going out there and showing up" or writing political texts and such. There are also levels to creating change, as it's not a binary thing.

      At this point, I want to primarily live for myself, participate in some kind of change without risking myself to the point of overwhelming anxiety, and make more personal and real connections with people in general, including during effecting change.

      What I've written here is a bit rough, but it's still an ongoing and raw process for me, and this post is more of a conversation topic, rather than a properly structured argument. I am interested in hearing your opinions. Has anyone had similar experiences, or things this post reminded you of?

      49 votes
    24. Sharing drone photography?

      I recently got in to drone photography. I got a DJI Air 3 and have been having a blast flying it around and taking photos. I have been messing around with Adobe Lightroom touching up the photos I...

      I recently got in to drone photography. I got a DJI Air 3 and have been having a blast flying it around and taking photos. I have been messing around with Adobe Lightroom touching up the photos I take. I even got my Part 107 cert on a whim because I thought it would be cool to have; whether or not I actually use the thing commercially is kinda beside the point for me.

      Does anyone have any suggestions on where to find and share drone photos? I'm kinda hoping to see what others are doing in the space to get inspiration and maybe some critical eyes for my own work. I reopened a long dormant Instagram account and started posting here and there only to find that most of my feed is ads...

      12 votes
    25. Self published authors, how do you market your books? Nothing I've tried has had any success.

      So, over the pandemic, I decided to follow a dream and write a novel. I followed all of the best practices I could find, had it beta read by folks so that the finished product would be as polished...

      So, over the pandemic, I decided to follow a dream and write a novel. I followed all of the best practices I could find, had it beta read by folks so that the finished product would be as polished as possible, posted it on Amazon's kdp site in ebook and paperback/hardcover, and then set out to get the word out, but nothing seems to be attracting any attention to it.

      To be fair, I know I'm not going to be the next Stephen king, but at the same time I feel like I should be able to find an audience somewhere. I've tried Facebook ads, i run a blog I post to semi regularly, as well as mirror posts on FB and insta, I've tried a couple of short videos on tiktok, but since its launch a couple years back, I've managed to amass just under 20 bucks Canadian in royalties.

      Now, money wasn't a motivator when I began this new trek, but it would be nice to feel like the world I created has reached a few people and given them at least a small amount of entertainment.

      If you're an author that's had success with some form of marketing, please share, and if you're someone who reads new stuff on the regular, where do you go to find new stories?

      35 votes
    26. Question for those in colder climates: Pellet HVAC/boilers?

      Hi, everyone. I'm on the hunt for opinions. I live in a colder climate in North America with no access to natural gas. Most heat their homes with propane or oil. Mine uses a very old 30+ year old...

      Hi, everyone. I'm on the hunt for opinions. I live in a colder climate in North America with no access to natural gas. Most heat their homes with propane or oil. Mine uses a very old 30+ year old oil boiler. I've started to see more pellet boilers, but I'm a bit uncertain about them at the moment. I don't like burning fossil fuels to heat my home, but electric isn't really an option out here and it's hard to argue with the "tried and true" cast iron boiler with the BTU per gallon oil offers. On the other hand, my local government is practically throwing money and/or attractive financing at people to switch.

      I'm curious if anyone out there has made the switch to some kind of pellet-fed heating system from a fossil fuel system. If so, I'd love to hear what you think of them, be it good or bad.

      15 votes
    27. Authors of Tildes: How well do you know your own book when you publish?

      I've spoken with some authors who are working on non-fiction books. I've noticed that some of them know their books intimately and can correct me if I mis-relay a section back to them that I've...

      I've spoken with some authors who are working on non-fiction books. I've noticed that some of them know their books intimately and can correct me if I mis-relay a section back to them that I've read. They can do this without checking the actual book and I've then verified that I was incorrect.

      Others have told me that by the time they were finished a seemingly infinite number of edits, they can't bear to read their own book again and just sent it to an editor at that point and released it.

      I was surprised by the latter but it does remind me of my own experience writing very long papers in college. Is this common in your own experience?

      25 votes
    28. Tildes Book Club meta discussion - should we read nonfiction as well as fiction and with what frequency?

      On the original book nomination thread, a couple of people nominated nonfiction. If we read nonfiction, I want to have a separate voting thread for that category so that everyone can submit books....

      On the original book nomination thread, a couple of people nominated nonfiction. If we read nonfiction, I want to have a separate voting thread for that category so that everyone can submit books. However, should we? This thread is a chance to vote no for nonfiction and if voting yes to suggest a frequency such as 1 in 3 books, 1 in four books, 1 in six books etc.

      If voting yes, please suggest a rate to read nonfiction books in proportion to fiction ones.

      Edit , I am counting these as alternative options. Either we read some nonfiction or we don't, so please vote in a way that reflects your honest opinion.

      17 votes
    29. Help me ditch Chrome's password manager!

      I've been trying to reduce my reliance on all things Google, and one of the big ones is password management. I've tried several times to make the jump, but every time I start researching options...

      I've been trying to reduce my reliance on all things Google, and one of the big ones is password management. I've tried several times to make the jump, but every time I start researching options I'm overwhelmed by the selection. There are a lot of popular options out there, and I really don't have the time/energy to endure a misstep. So without a clear idea of which manager will check all of my boxes, I end up bailing on the process and keep using chrome's built in option.

      So to start, here's what I like about Chrome:

      • Automatically offers to store passwords without extra clicks
      • Autofills automatically where it can, and gives me an easy choice when it can't
      • Works everywhere I need passwords. (basically everywhere I browse the internet since chrome works everywhere)
      • Minimal overhead. This is hard to beat since Chrome just includes it, so I'm fine with a little extra setup if necessary.

      I used to use keepass portable on a thumb drive (I want to say circa ~2009ish), but it became really inconvenient as my usage shifted more to mobile devices.

      I see this as a first step to also reducing my reliance on Chrome so I can start to consider other browsers. Right now I feel locked in to Google's ecosystem, but I know I can break it up if I don't get too bogged down by choice. Much appreciate any help. :)

      34 votes
    30. Anyone here suffering from low testosterone?

      UPDATE 2024/04/26: Couldn't find any spot with a Endocrinologist right away so I went to a urologist. Urologists these days, at least here in Brazil, are well versed in TRT and knows exactly what...

      UPDATE 2024/04/26: Couldn't find any spot with a Endocrinologist right away so I went to a urologist.

      Urologists these days, at least here in Brazil, are well versed in TRT and knows exactly what to look for.

      Turns out I have some issues that could be causing my low T. My left testicle is way smaller than my right which indicates that things are not working. I also have varicocele (enlarged veins in the scrotum), which in some cases can cause low testosterone and in a lot of cases can lower your sperm count and quality.

      So he ordered blood tests to check all my hormones as well as Triglycerides and other things, ultrasound of my balls and spermogram.

      It'll probably take a week or two to have all these done and I'll come back here with the results.

      I am also noticing some symptoms besides libido, like poor sleep (I am waking up a lot more in the night, like 4+ times) and really low muscle gain for someone who lifts for 10 years and can push some heavy weight. There are some things in me that it could be linked to this. I feel like I am just pushing through life these days, feeling a little beaten and just going through the motions. It could explain my exacerbated cynicism and lack of interest in everything.

      It could be that my body has been working against me for some time.


      Original thread:

      I am 37yo.

      One year ago I did a checkup and asked for my testosterone levels because I was feeling my libido was lower than normal.

      The results came back and my numbers were 377 ng/dL, free test was 9 ng/dL and SHBG 23,6 mmol/L.

      It was low, but within the normal range.

      Everything else was perfectly normal.

      Now almost a year later I am feeling that things are worse. I can go a week without feeling any desire. I still have morning wood, but it is not every day like it was. I have sex with my SO, but I can easily lose my erection.

      I scheduled an appointment with an endocrinologist from my health inssurance, but it has a spot only in July!

      So I went to a lab and did a blood test for testosterone and it is indeed worse.

      It is now 255 ng/dL, free test was 6,5 ng/dL and SHBG 19 mmol/L.

      I am physically active, lift weights 4 days per week, can squat relatively big numbers, am not overweight (on mornings I have a six pack) and drink alcohol only on weekends.

      Is this drop normal when you reach 40s or there is probably an issue here?

      I thought HRT was for when we were in our 50s.

      Anybody has gone through anything similar and can share your stories?

      18 votes
    31. What creative projects have you been working on?

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on. Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just...

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

      Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

      If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

      15 votes
    32. I don't think I'm 'grokking' how the fediverse works. (Or at least, how following federated accounts works)

      I'm taking some time to set up a mastodon account, and am currently confused about how following other federated accounts is supposed to work. Let's use https://lemmy.world/c/comicstrips as an...

      I'm taking some time to set up a mastodon account, and am currently confused about how following other federated accounts is supposed to work.

      Let's use https://lemmy.world/c/comicstrips as an example. I go to that link and I see posts from other federated sites, as well as posts made directly on lemmy.world (I presume). I can also view all posts from that community in r.nf as well (https://r.nf/c/comicstrips@lemmy.world). I see all the same posts from the lemmy link.

      What I don't understand is why, when I follow @comicstrips@lemmy.world on mastodon I only ever am shown replies and boosts from the account. I don't see the original image post, which I was expecting.

      What am I missing? For what it's worth I'm using Phanpy to interact with mastodon, but am experiencing the same behavior on mastodon.social as well.

      17 votes
    33. How to make this a fun djinn fight for relatively new players? (Bryan: Stay out, I know you're out there)

      I'm working on a new boss fight for a 5-person level 8 party of fairly new people. I wanted to give them something completely different, so I figured a fight on a small 20x20 circular rooftop with...

      I'm working on a new boss fight for a 5-person level 8 party of fairly new people. I wanted to give them something completely different, so I figured a fight on a small 20x20 circular rooftop with a stealthy djinn might be fun. I'd love to hear thoughts on how to make this a good time. My main idea is to force the party to figure out creative ways to find the djinn, since they don't have any way to see invisible creatures in their normal set of abilities. Things like throwing sand in the air, or holding ropes between each other to detect the silent wind motion as he moves around. Stuff that is more flavorful than a normal straight fight.

      I'll also be throwing players off the roof, forcing them to make agility saves to grab hold of ropes that are on the edge of the building, then strength checks to pull themselves back up. Have some moderate injuries occur if they roll badly. What suggestions would you have for me to make this a fun fight?



      Izel, Guardian Djinn

      Large Elemental (Air), Lawful Neutral


      • Armor Class 17 (natural armor)
      • Hit Points 152 (16d10 + 64)
      • Speed 30 ft., fly 60 ft.

      STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
      18 (+4) 22 (+6) 18 (+4) 16 (+3) 20 (+5) 18 (+4)

      • Saving Throws Dex +10, Con +8, Wis +9, Cha +8
      • Skills Insight +9, Perception +9, Stealth +10
      • Damage Resistances lightning, thunder; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks
      • Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion
      • Senses truesight 60 ft., passive Perception 19
      • Languages Auran, Common
      • Challenge 12 (8,400 XP)

      Elemental Demise. If the djinni dies, its body disintegrates into a warm breeze, leaving behind only equipment the djinni was wearing or carrying.

      Innate Spellcasting. The djinni's innate spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 16, +8 to hit with spell attacks). It can innately cast the following spells, requiring no material components:



      At will:

      Mage Armor: You touch a willing creature who isn’t wearing armor, and a protective magical force surrounds it until the spell ends. The target’s base AC becomes 13 + its Dexterity modifier. The spell ends if the target dons armor or if you dismiss the spell as an action.

      Greater Invisibility: (Concentration) You or a creature you touch becomes invisible until the spell ends. Anything the target is wearing or carrying is invisible as long as it is on the target’s person. The target can attack or cast spells without becoming visible.


      3/day each:
      > Wind Wall: Requires concentration. You create a wall of strong wind on the ground at a point you can see within range. The wall is up to 50 feet long, 15 feet high, and 1 foot thick, or a ringed wall up to 20 feet in diameter, 15 feet high, and 1 foot thick. It lasts for the duration, blocking arrows, smaller creatures, gases, and fog.
      > Lightning Bolt: You release a bolt of lightning that arcs toward a target you can see within range. A line of electricity 100 feet long and 5 feet wide blasts out from you in a direction you choose. Each creature in the line must make a Dexterity saving throw, taking 8d6 lightning damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

      Actions

      Multiattack. The djinni makes two scimitar attacks.

      Wind Blade. Melee Weapon Attack: +10 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 15 (2d8 + 6) slashing damage plus 5 (1d10) lightning damage.

      Windforce Blade (Enhanced Multiattack). If Izel hits a target with both attacks during his Multiattack, the target is pushed 10 feet away from him.

      Whirlwind (1/Day). As an action, Izel transforms into a whirlwind for one turn, moving in a straight line up to 60 feet. Any creature in the path of the whirlwind must make a DC 16 Dexterity saving throw. On a failed save, the creature takes 18 (3d12) bludgeoning damage and is thrown 15 feet in a random direction and knocked prone. On a successful save, the creature takes half damage and is not thrown or knocked prone.

      Legendary Actions

      Izel can take legendary actions, choosing from the options below.

      Wind Push. After every enemy's turn, Izel rolls a D20; on a 13 or higher, he uses the wind to move that enemy if they are within 60 feet of him. The target must succeed on a DC 16 Strength saving throw or be pushed 15 feet away from Izel and knocked prone.

      Wind Buffet. Izel creates a small burst of intense wind around himself. Each creature within 10 feet of Izel must succeed on a DC 16 Dexterity saving throw or take 17 (3d10) bludgeoning damage and be pushed 10 feet away from him. Using Wind Buffet breaks Izel’s concentration and ends his turn.

      Lair Actions

      • At the start of each turn, roll a D20. On a 10 or higher, all creatures on the battlefield are pushed 5 feet in a random direction determined by a d8 roll. This unpredictable movement simulates the chaotic nature of the winds that Izel commands.
      23 votes
    34. Can friendships be forced?

      The foundation for organic friendships they say is repeated, unplanned interactions (which I think I largely agree with). But this isn't always feasible, depending on the environment you're in. Do...

      The foundation for organic friendships they say is repeated, unplanned interactions (which I think I largely agree with). But this isn't always feasible, depending on the environment you're in. Do you think a truly rich and organic friendship can be "forced"? What, if anything, is lost?

      14 votes
    35. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like net neutrality, agreements.noncompete and tiktok. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like net neutrality, agreements.noncompete and tiktok. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was a nosey parker.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      12 votes
    36. I just installed a DNS based firewall (I think) for the first time in my life. Help me understand which addresses to block.

      For context: I'm a tech noob when it comes to cyber-security stuff in particular, and anything network related in general. My devices are a MacBook Pro and an iPhone. Before anyone cringes at...
      For context: I'm a tech noob when it comes to cyber-security stuff in particular, and anything network related in general. My devices are a MacBook Pro and an iPhone. Before anyone cringes at this, I buy all my Apple stuff second hand to dodge the brand premium. There, I hope that gives me some credibility in the eyes of all the techies around here. :D

      For years I was more or less relying on Apple to do a decent job automatically when it comes to security, and granted, I haven't had any serious issues (that I know of). Some time ago it was brought to my attention that I'm most likely getting tracked even if I tick all the opt-out boxes on my device and browser settings. I hastily installed an open source app on my phone that prevents trackers and ad servers form connecting to it based on a list of addresses that the app provides. There was a long log of blocked domains already the next day. I made a mental note that I should probably look for something to do the same for my laptop, and then forgot about it, until last night.

      When I went to check that log again on my phone, I found out that the app hadn't been functional in a while. A quick online search revealed that they aren't as open source as they claim to be, nor very reliable, so I embarked on a quest to find something else to do the job - this time for both devices.

      I have managed to install and configure something called NextDNS on both of my devices and most browsers, even though the documentation seems to be made with more tech-savvy people in mind. So far so good. I turned on all the available blocklists, but a lot of strange looking (to me) traffic is still getting through. I'm assuming some of it is benign, but how do I evaluate which addresses I should block or not? I'll list some examples below.

      init.ess.apple.com
      init-p01md.apple.com
      bag.itunes.apple.com
      gsp-ssl.ls.apple.com
      gspe35-ssl.ls.apple.com
      pki-goog.l.google.com
      For these, the service offers the following information: 'Provides advertising or advertising-related services such as data collection, behavioral analysis or retargeting.' Sounds like something I wouldn't want to enable. When it comes to the iTunes one, I don't use iTunes and don't even have it installed (don't ask how I managed to get rid of it - it took several days worth of trial and error..). One of these, pki-goog.l.google.com is listed as 'dangerously prevalent (tracks 21.23% of web traffic)'.

      Then again, the same general description is sometimes given to addresses that seem legit, such as:
      time.apple.com
      weather-data.apple.com

      Some are indecipherable to me and don't come with any sort of description:
      fp2e7a.wpc.phicdn.net
      init.ess.g.aaplimg.com
      get-bx.g.aaplimg.com
      ocsp2.g.aaplimg.com
      ocsp.pki.goog

      Some descriptions are kind of vague:
      a2047.dscapi9.akamai.net
      apis.apple.map.fastly.net
      'Content delivery network that delivers resources for different site utilities and usually for many different customers.'

      Some seem to be doing tasks that are definitely wanted:
      ocsp.digicert.com
      'Digicert Trust Seal - Includes tag managers, privacy notices, and technologies that are critical to the functionality of a website.'

      Then there's an Amazon Web Service, go-updater-1830831421.us-west-2.elb.amazonaws.com, listed as very prevalent (tracks 5.5% of web traffic) that has been contacting my phone even though I haven't done any shopping or product related searches. What is this and should I block it?

      And so on and so on. Is there any logic to these that I can follow? I tried google searching some to no avail.

      11 votes
    37. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      4 votes
    38. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      3 votes
    39. Why do negative topics dominate social media sites, even here?

      This is a question I eventually ask about every social media site I use(d). I like Tildes, and the discussions here are much more constructive than any other place I've seen, however I've seen it...

      This is a question I eventually ask about every social media site I use(d). I like Tildes, and the discussions here are much more constructive than any other place I've seen, however I've seen it to be true even here. When one doesn't curate their feed, and use the default home page, the negative topics seems to dominate. I'm talking about the topics that talk about problems and what's wrong with something, often with titles implying the awfulness or emergency of such a problem. I think I don't need to elaborate on how this is much more prevalent and extreme on other sites. But nevertheless, it's a recurring pattern even here.

      I know the argument that goes that humans are problem-fixing machines, and that there are psychological incentives to focus on problems. However, this seems overly reductive and lacking in explanatory power to me. Outside of internet, this is not a phenomenon I've experienced with people, unless they were mentally going through something very rough. Otherwise, people generally seem to talk about neutral or positive issues. And even while talking about negative issues, the tone often isn't grim, and doesn't leave a depressive aftertaste.

      Even on the internet, in smaller spaces and more closed spaces, like chatting servers, this doesn't seem to hold true. Sure, there are politically-oriented, and therefore problem-oriented spaces even there, but most spaces don't seem to be that way. Back when I used Facebook too, while the posts were vain, most of my friends and acquaintances were just interested in sharing and commenting on social lives.

      So I think this is a problem that is more endemic to "open" social media sites, with easily accessible and open-to-public spaces, rather than applying to the whole humanity or even every internet space. Its one of my biggest head scratchers about social media sites. So far I couldn't find a satisfactory explanation in the literature either. Doesn't mean there isn't, but I haven't stumbled upon such.

      So, I'm interested in your opinions: Why do negative topics dominate on open social media sites, even here, unless curated against? Why is this such a strong recurring pattern for sites structured like this, while it's not in other online and physical spaces and interections I mentioned?

      59 votes
    40. For those involved / interested in Web3, what do you make of the near and long term future for it?

      Added the qualifier to the title as web3 understandably earns a lot of eyerolls haha. At the same time, a lot of web3 focused places seem to have a specific mindset about what "should" be done so...

      Added the qualifier to the title as web3 understandably earns a lot of eyerolls haha. At the same time, a lot of web3 focused places seem to have a specific mindset about what "should" be done so I wanted to ask here.

      I worked in the space at startup (ironically making web2 services to assist in web3 so I’m still an extreme novice). But my time there was a constant push / pull between convention and money and innovation and the unknown. The company I was at would try to appeal to big companies in hopes of finding a product market fit, who looked to us for guidance on what to do in this new space where they hoped to make money. Trend after trend would pass and it would be entertained whether we’d jump on it because product market fit.

      The most desirable companies were household names with non-web3 userbases because they meant unprecedented reach. But to make web3 approachable to them, you’d have to define a UX that didn’t exist and would be pulled in a tug of war between two forces. The first mindset optimises for the purest idea of giving the user power— UXs that were obvious about the concepts of transactions and transferrable assets. The other wanted to replicate web2 UXs in web3, to the degree that a user gives temporary control of their wallet to a developer so the developer performs transactions as them.

      Then, there is the data and pseudonymity piece. Companies have been taught that data is valuable, and one of the values of a blockchain is an identity that exists outside of any one company. But if all of your assets are on a blockchain— either under your public key or perhaps under a few that might transfer assets only between each other— then your identity can be known (not so private) and also cannot be monopolized and sold (because your data is public).

      In the background, as this all happens, is the decentralization argument. At the end of the day, my company used EVM nodes operated by another company (which themselves might be wrappers around something offered by AWS). What is meaningful decentralization alongside specialization of labor? What is decentralization in a world that has billionaires and enormous companies who has the means to buy resources and set up tons of nodes?

      Being out of the space now, I do think a decentralized database with immutable scripts, user-managed transferrable assets, and transferrable identity has enormous value. But recently I’ve been wondering how much of that can be accomplished in the private sector. In my time there it felt like the startup needs (enterprise customers, increased ARR) constantly compromised the will for innovation efforts.

      19 votes
    41. Online shopping - how convenient is it actually?

      Not really usre where to put this, so mods feel free to move it if you think that putting it under life.style is inappropriate. My original thought was more related to online cashless payments in...

      Not really usre where to put this, so mods feel free to move it if you think that putting it under life.style is inappropriate.

      My original thought was more related to online cashless payments in general- if you don't know, there's actually a way to donate directly to Tildes to help pay for server costs if you like this site enough. However, I've discovered that I don't like to often do any monetary transactions online- there's just something that's a pain in the butt about entering 19 digits online (16 for card number, then three more for the SVC).

      But in the spirit of wanting an actual discussion... buying things online has been an option since I was a teenager, so we're talking about 20 years ago. You'll usually hear people and companies say "You can go shopping right from the comfort of your own home, there's so much to choose from, and if you choose the right option you can have it in just a day or two... just enter your credit card info and you're all set!". But for me personally, it's the last two that I take issue with.

      You have the overall credit card issue- right now, I live in a country where cash is still king, even if it IS trying to catch up to other nations with cashless payments. For credit cards, besides entering the number being annoying, and then your address (billing and shipping, usually but not always the same place), it can be far too easy to spend way too much on credit card. Remember, many countries actively push the consumerist mindset, which is a MAJOR trap. And just to mention it- I do NOT trust any sites or devices to remember my card info. I'm VERY paranoid of being hacked- specifically talking about storing any info in something like Google Wallet/Pay/whatever it's called.

      But then you have the other issue, and why even though you might get more selection online, I would still rather visit an actual storefront, even if it's an hour or so away. To put it simply- when the transaction is completed, I want to have the item in my possession. Buying online, you always run into the shipping (and handling) issue- Amazon is one of the fastest, and they still take at least two days. In the US, the issue has been made worse because of the post office situation. or in other words: you paid the money, now how long will it take to have the actual physical item? It's probably just a product of how I grew up, but I hate having to wait longer than a day after I've already given you my money.

      So, people of Tildes, what about you- do you find online shopping to be extremely convenient, or do you have your own issues with buying things online?

      21 votes
    42. What did you do to "prepare" for your marriage?

      Hiya folks! My partner (M36) and I (F30) have been in a relationship for 2 years (living together for 1) and have started talking about marriage lately. Neither of us has popped the question yet...

      Hiya folks!

      My partner (M36) and I (F30) have been in a relationship for 2 years (living together for 1) and have started talking about marriage lately. Neither of us has popped the question yet (we both want to be proposed to), but we're starting to do "Marriage Mondays" and work through The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver. (I was also thinking of reading The ADHD Effect on Marriage by Melissa Orlov since my partner has ADHD.)

      We're both big into communication, studying relationship books, and making sure we iron things out before we take the next step. Before we moved in, we talked about divvying up household chores and made a spreadsheet detailing who does what. We also made sure that the spreadsheet was not a holy text, and if one of us was feeling bad (whether because of sickness, mental health, or work stress), the other would temporarily pick up the slack (or at least cut the other person some slack!) It's been great so far and I really do feel like we're in an equitable partnership. (As much as it can be, at least!)

      But of course, marriage is a whole other story. We both live in a different country from where we're from and if we ever have kids, we won't be able to rely on either one of our families for much. I know the major topics of finance, kids, and careers, but is there anything else (besides the wedding) you all may have done or questions you asked to "prepare" for marriage?

      29 votes
    43. Looking for help scraping and deleting a Reddit account

      I have a couple of old Reddit accounts I’d like to delete as fully as possible. However one of them dates back to my teenage years and it’s some of the only writings I have from that time. Any...

      I have a couple of old Reddit accounts I’d like to delete as fully as possible. However one of them dates back to my teenage years and it’s some of the only writings I have from that time. Any recommendations on good simple ways to scrape all the comments off of it and save them? Then what’s the best way to completely erase a Reddit footprint these days?

      Looking for as simple a solution as possible, I’m not tech illiterate by any means but it’s also not a real strong suit for me.

      18 votes