Every time I find myself in an ADHD related thread on the internets, I feel like I'm seeing my personal struggles being described by others (Anxiety, Depression, executive function issues... the list goes on).

My intermittent attempts to seek out a diagnosis (or rule it out) end quickly with all the utter shite noise in the search results (literally everyone is selling something).

I'm hoping some of you who've been down this road can shed some light. Should I just schedule and appointment with my GP and start a conversation or???

Thanks (hope I got this in the right sub-tilde)

UPDATE: Thank you all so much! I ended up setting an appointment with a nearby adhd clinic that does 2 brain scans, a bunch of bloodwork, several questionnaires, and a couple meetings with a psychiatrist/psychologist (can never remember which is which). 1st scan is on Monday morning, 1st meeting with psych* is in early December. Feeling optimistic.

Reading through all your comments, I feel connected and optimistic in a way I've never felt before when pondering what I can see to be atypical behavior/emotions/response to stimuli but felt powerless to address.

Thanks so much for helping a stranger on the internet, hoping to pay it forward someday.

So I've watched this If Neurodivergents Conducted Job Interviews Like Neurotypicals and one thing struck me as odd. Is it not like normal when somebody tells you they've been sick recently for you to share your own experience with similar condition?

I do have ADHD and automatically share when this exact situation comes up, but is this like a no-no among neurotypical folks?

I hate TODO lists. Even when they're for a single day.

I inevitably put more in my TODO list than I can accomplish in a day. When the new day begins, and I see the tasks I did not accomplish before, I feel anxious, sad, and even ashamed. Then I find some of that anxiety is for how my partner will judge me for the unfinished tasks on my list that she tells herself she expected me to accomplish.

While I have worked on self-compassion for years, occasionally it is not there. I have worked on having boundaries between my partner's own issues and my mental health.

I wonder how others with ADHD, particular those with partners, cope.

EDIT: I started using an allegedly ADHD-friendly planner yesterday. These feelings came pouring out of me this morning, hence the post. Yet I've had these similar difficulties for years.

On another platform a female journalist warned other women not to use menstrual tracking apps.

I worked in a co-op during college that sold very nice paper journals for tracking menstrual cycles. I replied to that thread mentioning that very nice specialized paper journals still exist.

Someone ( a man ) replied back to tell me that ADHD women have enough to deal with these days and proceeded to list all the ways something like that could fail.

I suggested sending emails to one's self along the lines of "update your diary" which someone could then read at home and take care of things.

Since I don't have ADHD my question is if people who do have ADHD really do find it to be that incapacitating?

I know it is an Internet thing to keep replying without a reason, even if it is only out of momentum. I'm wondering if that was the deal in that thread.

Hey friends,

I struggled hard to find a simple to-do list that would work the way I needed it to. Even the paid options weren't quite helpful for me. Eventually I just gave up and made my own.

I use it at work and at home every single day. I also made a backup copy to handle an individual project I'm working on.

Anyway, it's free. I just wanted to share it with you guys.

Small side notes

• To start using this, just copy it. It'll open in a read-only mode but you can quite easily pull it over to your own Google Drive.

• I threw in a donation link on the Sheet. Delete it or ignore it. It's 100% optional and I figured I'd put it there in case this ended up becoming someone's daily driver and they want to say thanks.

• You can somewhat easily make this sheet work with Google appsheet to use it on mobile as an app. That's what I do for mine so that I can use it on my phone and on desktop throughout the day. Just open appsheet from this sheet and start customizing your app. As long as you're using it for just yourself, you don't have to deploy it or anything. You just download the appsheet app on mobile and access it that way. You can even name it and choose a custom icon. The one caveat is that you'll have to create a time trigger in scripts to make it auto sort. If anyone is dying to do this, I'll post more specific details to help you through it.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1sIp4uPq3xwgudNA9tIOGmNXzETtyG421WbmvJPWgbsI/edit?usp=drivesdk

https://mastodon.social/@tef/112763581163648202

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Erd%C5%91s#Personality

His colleague Alfréd Rényi said, "a mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems", and Erdős drank copious quantities

After his mother's death in 1971 he started taking antidepressants and amphetamines, despite the concern of his friends, one of whom (Ron Graham) bet him $500 that he could not stop taking them for a month. Erdős won the bet, but complained that it impacted his performance: "You've showed me I'm not an addict. But I didn't get any work done. I'd get up in the morning and stare at a blank piece of paper. I'd have no ideas, just like an ordinary person. You've set mathematics back a month."

https://kolektiva.social/@sidereal/112764385284252961

They were called the "greatest generation" because they collectively had far easier access to stimulants than anyone before or since

Random showerthought time:

The war on drugs, medical skepticism, stigma, and other factors caused stimulants and medications, especially those useful for treating conditions such as ADHD, to become less accessible. This adversely affected the people who needed or would otherwise benefit from these stimulants and medications, and scientific progress and society more widely has suffered because of it.

I was diagnosed with adult ADHD a few years ago. The first thing I focused on was structuring my schedule and environment to allow it to work to my advantage. This has helped immensely with improving myself and achieving my goals, I'd say even more so than medication has (then again, the meds helped me accomplish it in the first place).

However, it doesn't take much to push me off balance. Any unexpected events (frankly, even expected ones) can derail everything, and very quickly I feel this urge to go back to bed and start it all over again tomorrow. I'd liken it to maintaining momentum. Even things like doctor's appointments or mini vacations with my wife have me returning back to my life suddenly with no idea of how to manage it.

With my first kid on the way, I want to properly prepare myself. I've come to terms with the amount of focus and attention I'll have to give to him. In fact, it kind of sounds nice to recontextualize my life's purpose to just "keep this thing alive." However, I do have ambitions and lofty dreams that, if I'm being honest with myself, are THE reasons I get up in the morning.

I have no doubt I'll be able to recalibrate to this new life I'm about to enter and develop a new way of living that works for me, but I am curious if anyone has some tips or bits of wisdom to help make the transition quicker, easier, and smoother. To get through my day, I need to slowly pick up a head of steam and barrel through my tasks. How can I maintain this strategy with the frequent interruptions that are inherent to parenthood?

Thanks everyone. I'm very excited to have a mini-me.

I often think about the purpose and/or meaning of life and I've been struggling to work through these thoughts lately. As I teen I've had these thoughts often, but after experiencing my first manic episode (that led to psychosis) back in August 2022, the question of "What's the point?" pops into my head quite frequently.

Alongside this I've been struggling to come to terms with my new diagnosis of 'Bipolar Type I with psychotic features' as I've already been diagnosed with ADHD back in 2017 and I realize that both of these are life-long diagnoses. I know I just have to learn how to live with them, but that's been a tough pill to swallow.

I should mention that I'm not suicidal or anything, but rather I feel hollow and numb inside as I am very unfulfilled with life. Some days are okay and I'm still functioning and taking care of myself (so it's not like a full-blown depression), but as I mentioned before, I just don't see the point in all of this and don't find many things to be worthwhile or enjoyable anymore.

Basically I feel like a shell of my former self after my episode and have found much difficulty in enjoying the things I liked before from hobbies, to music and even food (I was a highly food-driven person). It's definitely much better than it was immediately after my episode, but it's as though life has been sucked out of me and I'm just going through the motions of living because it's what I'm supposed to do. I know recovery takes time, but it's been nearly 2 years since my episode and I thought this feeling would go away by now...

(I've also been seeing a counselor and OT and am doing things such as CBT and ACT which helped a bit, but not enough as I am here asking questions on an online forum seeking help).

If you have any advice on how to work through this it would be appreciated.

EDIT (12/6/24): I wanted to say thank you to all the responses and advice given. I may not have replied to everyone, but just know that I have been reading the comments and I do appreciate them :)

I've been doing a lot of work with my therapist and it has been suggested that I might have a mix of both Autism and ADHD.

I have always related to Autism to a certain extent but I would never say it because I felt like I didn't really fit because some things I do don't make sense it that context. I was also obsessed with learning to be human since young and have a lot of systems to deal with it and apparently that means I've been masking for a very long time.

But my therapist also brought up ADHD and that has explained a lot about some the things I'm still currently struggling with. But again, when I look it up, I don't feel like I fully fit. But also, I have developed a lot of systems over the years to deal with my issues and function like a normal human being. So a lot of the things I struggle with is hidden because I've "fixed" them.

I'm still reluctant to say I have either of those two things because I feel like an imposter. So I've just settled on Neurodivergent and think that I can always learn the tools that help people with ADHD even if I don't have it. Because if the tools work for you, then why not?

But my therapist has suggested getting diagnosed because it does change what kind of medication you might get. I'm currently on medication for anxiety and depression.

So now I'm wondering how common it is to have a mix of both ADHD and Autism. For those who have both, what is it like for you? What is your daily life like? What are your struggles and how do you deal with them? When did you realise you might have a mix of both? How do you feel about yourself and your brain?

I apologize if this isn't the right place to ask this. I don't post very often and am getting used to it.

At 22 years old, after months long assessments, I have been diagnosed with severe ADHD, depression and moderate anxiety. Here is a quick timeline of my experience:

• May - August :
  • I started CBT therapy and Sertraline 50mg
  • Gradually I was upped to the a dose of 75mg.
  • In this whole period I did not experience any improvements or side effects, except a loss of appetite in the first few days.
• September:
  • I started taking Methylphenidate 18mg and went back to just 50mg of Sertraline.
  • From the first day I had felt a sentiment of calmness and control. But it slowly faded away and I still felt I could not concentrate on things or act productive.
  • I also stopped going to therapy as I saw that CBT was not effective for me.
• October - November:
  • This was a completely different month. I wasn't fully in control of my attention span but it was much better than I've ever been. What was more shocking was how internally I felt at peace and something that I'd describe now as euphoric (as I assume this was just a side effect of the medication). U
  • Until mid november I was actually going around telling people I think I might not be depressed anymore, as I had felt for the first time in a way that I haven't felt since early childhood. I was able to accomplish incredible feats related to discipline and I saw my academic results improving greatly. Unfortunately this sentiment slowly faded away and I was back to my old self by the end of November.
• December - Now I was upped to 36mg of Methylphenidate and I noticed a much better control of my attention but unfortunately I have not felt that feeling of relief again. And as it seems the effectiveness of the dose diminished from the first few days to now.
  Since December I've had numerous breakdowns, feeling completely exhausted and burnt out. I suffered from classic problems of procrastination starting to work on difficult projects only a couple of days before the deadline and it was all crashing down. I submitted multiple disgustingly low quality pieces of work because I just did not work in time enough but the few days I did work I did incredible amounts of effort and I do feel like the pills helped me stay focused. After this deadline period though I was just met with my normal depression symptoms where I had a long streak of days that I could not even get out of bed or brush my teeth.

I don't know what more to do. I always knew I was broken and needed help. And for all my life I thought that seeing a psychiatrist is a last resort in case "I can't fix myself" on my own. Now it's been almost a whole year and I am in a critical time period where I need to excel and put in the work but I find myself succumbing to my symptoms while jumping up and down with the doses of some pills that barely seem to have an effect.

I didn't have many people around me from the start, and many of them would not understand my condition at all (nobody from my family does). But now it seems that even the few that were empathetic I have unfortunately tired out. I've heard my fair share of bad remarks that have gradually demoralised me (ADHD is not real. I'm just lazy. I just like to complain. etc) and due to the fact that I also have codependency problems this has greatly hurt me and made me feel like I am completely alone and nobody cares for my troubles or has my wellbeing in their best interest. Right now I just wish I'd know what to do. I wish there was some clear step by step goal oriented way to "happiness" or at least normality. I don't even know what more to tell my psychiatrist other than how I don't feel well, which is what I've been telling him since the start.

If you've been through a similar journey, I'd love to hear your experience and any advice you wish you had received earlier.

I'm failing. My usual tricks aren't working and I don't know what to do with my clothes anymore.

One of my ADHD symptoms is that needs to see everything. My "pantry" is open shelves in my kitchen. Everything in the fridge is up near the front of the shelves. I have a giant desk so I can spread out when I'm working. I need to see it all at all times.
So the issue becomes, how do I do that with clothes. My alligator brain wants them all over the floor so I can see everything. That's not gonna work lol. I used to be good with a closet with no doors, but my new apartment isn't laid out in a way I can do that.

Does anyone have any interesting clothes storage advice? The clutter is stressing me out, so I need to figure out whatever my new system is going to be.

I saw a post on reddit about a guy asking about why his wife changes hobbies so much. He went on to detail her getting super fixated on a hobby, investing a lot of money and learning a lot, and then dropping it. A lot of people were mentioning possibly being adhd.

I remember that being the first thing that clued me in as an adult who was not diagnosed until later in life.

Anyone else care to share?

I figured I would help kick off this new subgroup by starting a discussion on how people with ADHD try to manage it.

I had a late diagnosis a couple years ago as an adult, and I have been working with a counselor to develop some behavioral techniques (in addition to medication). Not all of them stick, which in my experiences is the primary challenge of this disorder, but I've had good results when I do use them.

Primarily, I have a calendar where I put reminders and plan things out. If I have parts of a project I need to get done, I lay those out and assign them to certain days of the week. Working in academia, I live my life a semester at a time and this helps me reevaluate certain goals and it feels reasonable to me to plan out a few months at a time.

One thing I struggle with when it comes to planning is coming up with accurate estimates of how much time it might take to spend something. This was always a big obstacle in my way when it came to planning things out before - I wanted to know the exact time on how long it took to do something so that my schedule would be perfect. My counselor suggested that I come up with an initial estimate of how long something should take based off my intuition, and then double it (e.g. if I think a task should take 30 minutes, plot it out for 60 minutes of my day). This has been great for me because usually it's a win-win. Often, my initial assessment is underestimating how long something takes, so by accounting for slippage in time I can better chunk out my day. On the other hand, if I do get it done sooner I can pat myself on the back and I now have extra time in the day to get other things done.

I wanna find better ways of trying to stay on track with habits. I've tried some different apps and none are working too well. Recently I picked up Sunsama which has helped in terms of reviewing the day and looking at subtasks, but as I've gotten busy with experiments I've kind of lost track of that. What are some things that you do to accommodate the way your brains works?

...When I can't complete a task right now but instead have to wait for some reason. For example:

• When I have to complete a task list for school, and would love to just blitz through it all, but have to wait on someone else to fill out some form. Then I get it in an email a day or two later, but have already completely forgotten about the list and things I should do, because something else took over my mind. And I put it off because I have other things to do. Then the deadline comes and goes, and I'm sitting there thinking "Well shit, if I could have done it immediately then it would have been fine."

• I ask my kids for things they want at the store. I know I need to add it to the grocery list app immediately or I won't remember it, but I'm driving them to camp and can't use my phone. By the time I've dropped them off, I forgot already. Then they're upset with me because I forgot their things, and I'm upset with me because I forgot their things.

All these little things that just add up to make life a little more frustrating and annoying.

Anyone else with ADHD, have any tips to overcome these? Frustrations of your own to vent? How do you explain to others that it isn't you being careless or lazy, but instead it's your brain working against itself?

Introduction

I'm a beginner in programming, but a veteran in film and literature. I know that ideas come easy. Any normal person can come up with a good idea in a matter of minutes. The main problem is doing it.

Besides, I couldn't care less if someone does that before me. I'd probably benefit from their program, and even offer to collaborate. I have a bunch of other ideas in the oven anyway.

And I'm humble enough to know that such a niche project would never attract the interest of a mega-corporation anyway.

2. What is CHORES?

CHORES is a short-term task manager. It's meant to organize nothing more than a few hours or less of your tasks. Month, weak or even your entire day are entirely out of its scope.

3. Who is CHORES for?

First and foremost, this app is for my use. But I'm certain there are other people with conditions similar to mine, especially ones with ADHD. I'm also autistic with a compulsive personality, and won't stop until I tinker with every aspect of an object. Not surprisingly, I'm a Linux, i3wm, Emacs and Neovim user. And they're excruciatingly customized.

What I need is not a full-featured a TODO app like Remember The Milk, Todoist or Org Mode. They're too distracting, I end up just playing with the tools. I need something that allows me to track very short term chores. Thinks like brushing my teeth, taking a shower, eating, walking my dog, washing the dishes and making my bed.

That's what I intend to do.

4. What is ADHD

From the United States National Institute of Mental Health:

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a disorder marked by an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development.

4.1 Warning

Please refrain from suggesting that the ones who use such tools just need to make an effort instead. That's a cliche most people with ADHD and other mental health issues probably heard many times, and by saying that you may cause distress. If you need more information, please refer to the link posted above.

5. Why another "TODO" app?

People with severe ADHD like myself frequently forget what they're doing, and what they should do in the very short term. I'm talking 2, 3 or 5 tasks from now. To give you an idea of how bad it is, right now I have an Emacs Org Mode file with the following tasks:

* Now
** TODO Take Ritalin
** TODO Start chronometer on Ritalin
  - Tells me when the effect wears off
** TODO Take a shower
** TODO Take the laptop to the living room
** TODO Wash the dishes
** TODO Study Python
** TODO Post on Tildes

But Emacs and Org Mode do a lot more than that, and this can be very distracting (right now I'm writing this post because creating another file from my now.org file was way too easy, for example).

Considering that I am the main target audience of this program, any space for tinkering is a dangerous avenue for procrastination.

6. Who is CHORES for

The primary target of this project are people with:

1. ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)
2. similar conditions or personality traits

In sum: if you have extreme difficulty focusing, remembering and fulfilling your tasks in the very short term, you may find this program useful.

7. Who is CHORES not for

The majority of people can concentrate and perform their short-term tasks with a reasonable degree of efficiency. If that is your case, you have little to gain by using CHORES.

8. Features

CHORES is a short-term task manager. It's meant to organize nothing more than a few hours: not your month, weak or even your day.

1. CLI Linux app (Mac, Windows, GUI, and mobile could happen in the future)
2. Hard limit of ten tasks (with the option to reduce)
3. Only the very essential configurations available

• tinkering is a huge time drain for ADHD people
• because of that, the defaults will have to be extremely sensible.

4. Started Stopped status clearly marked by character or highlighting

8.1 What you would be able to do with CHORES:

1. Add up to ten tasks
2. Reorder/Start/Stop/Done these tasks
3. Undo only one operation
4. See only the last ten completed tasks

9. Answer to Possible Questions

9.1 Why Not Keep Using Org Mode? Or maybe Taskwarrior?

Org Mode and Emacs are wonderful tools, but they're also a perfect playground for procrastinators. It simply does too much. Emacs is like a box of legos, and that's the last thing an ADHD person needs when it comes to tracking short-term tasks.

Taskwarrior suffers from the same issue.

9.2 Why Not todo.txt and similar apps?

This may seem crazy, but for a severe ADHD person, even todo.txt gives way too many options and features. It is, after, an actual TODO app. I can add 1000 tasks todo.txt. It has an extensive wiki, projects, tags, context tags, special value tags. You might just say: just don't use these options. But that

9.3 Why not use the extremely minimalist t task manager, by Steve Losh?

I like t very much, and, depending on its license, I'll probably use at least some of its code. But t lacks some features CHORES requires, such as:

1. Limit task amount
2. Add tasks to the bottom (t last tasks randomly, or at least something that seem random to me)
3. Reorder tasks
4. Undo
5. Easily view completed tasks
6. Add Start/Stop status to a task

9.4 Why not pen and paper?

This is a very personal anwer, but here we go:

1. I will lose the paper every 30 minutes
2. I will lose the pen every 30 minutes
3. I will forget to look at the paper, it will probably end up crumpled in my pock
4. Many of my tasks, such as programming and studying, already happen in the computer anyway
5. One of my medications interferes with my motor skills and my handwriting is hard to understand - even for me
6. I like computers. The fact that I like computers makes more likely for me to actually look at the tasks.
7. In the future, I can add alerts. Can't do that with paper