For example, I'm handy with a lot of stuff. I could change an outlet in the wall no problem. But if asked by an electrician what gauge Romex is safe for what amperage, or what color direct bury Romex is, I'd have no idea (from the knowledge I walk around with day to day).

I'm curious what other random facts people may know from their line of work that quality them as more knowledgeable than your average goose joe. Or to paraphrase, walking around knowledge people wouldn't know unless they googled it, or worked/were very knowledgeable in your field. And how many of them I (or others) might know.

To start from my job:

Q: Under what circumstances would one want to withhold the administration of vasopressors (Epinephrine) in a cardiac arrest?

A:

It’s before 5am CT, and I’ve been awake since… 2:30am. Most nights, I can feed my newborn and fall right back asleep. I believe that some work stress has kept me awake. It got me thinking about some questions to ask the group:

1. For those of us who would rather be productive than lie in bed awake for an extended period of time, how long before you decide to just get up and do something? I’m a little surprised I haven’t just gotten up yet. I think I will here in a few minutes.
2. What are some fun activities you like to get up to when it’s the middle of the night and everyone is asleep? I’m a software engineer by trade so I tend to work on a side project. Maybe a music project if it’s something quiet.
3. The age old question: how can I fall back asleep? I can usually count backwards from 100 and by the second time through I’ll be out. Does anyone have anything more interesting?

I’m sure variations of this topic have been posted before, so I apologize if this is less than novel. Retitle as necessary, I couldn’t think of a good one.

I have watched all of Dave Chapelle's specials and I occasionally watch Bill Maher whenever I can stomach his supposed "free speech" show.

Don't remember it verbatim but Dave Chappelle made fun of the trans community and took an empathetic approach to individuals such as J. Rowling who view the trans issue as a threat to womanhood (or something to that effect). He also however expressed support for a trans-woman being allowed to use a woman's bathroom so his opinions on this subject seem a bit mixed.

However, Bill Maher acts as if trans issue is the biggest issue of our time and that its the real reason that Kamala Harris lost the election. And is opposed to any sort of gender-affirming care as far as I can tell and thinks that cause L.A. has more people who identify as trans than Texas, that it's almost mostly a geographically based fad and what not. I will also never forget a clip of his show where him and Piers Morgan were telling Katie Porter about the threat that trans-women have to cis-women. It struck me as funny that 2 white dudes decided to take it upon themselves to tell a woman that trans-women pose a threat to her and she was just like ".....no I think I'm fine.".

But the release of Chappelle's specials were met with protests at the Netflix headquarters, whereas I don't remember people ever protesting in front of Bill Maher's studio even though I think he's far more in the camp of "trans movement has gone way too far" and says far more things that I would assume they find offensive or upsetting. what gives?

What is something that's been eating at you that you haven't found the right place to share yet?

Long rants, short grumblings, and everything in between is welcome. Topics can be serious or silly.

Please specify if you do not want responses and prefer to use this as a venue to scream into the void.

I've been looking into installing air conditioning in the building that will eventually be my office and workshop. Local HVAC contractors gave me extremely large numbers as quotes. I've watched mini split installs and I'm pretty sure they're within DIY range for me. So I spent $10 and a couple of nights of reading, and took the EPA 608 type 2 certification exam today, so now (pending someone watching and approving a 20-minute video of me staring at a phone screen) I can legally install one myself for significantly cheaper.

I've also occasionally considered getting a ham radio license, solely because I like a bunch of adjacent electronics topics and it feels like the kind of thing I could be into. (So far, I haven't bothered because the vibes of the community around it don't feel right for me, but I haven't completely abandoned the idea.)

It occurs to me there are probably several more things like this that I'd never thought about. Small plane pilot's licenses are another, though those require formal training. But attempting to research this mostly returns lists of "you could be an Official Microsoft Certified Professional Excel User!". That's not what I mean.

What other useful licenses can one easily get without making it a whole career? "Useful" here means something like "having the piece of official paper grants privileges that simply learning the underlying knowledge doesn't".

I've been recently thinking about the impact of fictional characters from tv shows/movies can have on our lives. Have you ever felt influenced by a particular character or show?

For me, the show Mr. Robot coincided with my decision to pivot to cybersecurity. There were a lot of other factors that made me switch, but it was undeniable that the show (and the main character, Elliot) played a sizable role. It's been a decade since it first aired, and I’m still grateful for that change I made.

Curious to know if anyone else have a similar experience?

I didn't know where to categorize this. It's not current, kinda politics, kinda tech, kinda a lot of things, but mostly I guess, I was just freaked out and wanted to share/discuss.

I read about this guy 40-50 years ago in The Readers Digest, have never heard anything about him since then, until the other day, a forum chat reminded me and I went rabbit-holing...

John Aristotle Phillips did an independent research project for his Physics degree at Princeton, on how to build a simple nuclear explosive device, including explicit instructions on how and why and etc. His larger goal was to help stop nuclear material proliferation by showing that there were no "secrets" left, no tech hurdles for anyone with a brain, except that of actually acquiring weapons-grade material.

His advisor was no less than Freeman Dyson, who gave him an 'A' and then immediately pulled the paper out of circulation. A couple months later, the Pakistani govt called Phillips, asking to buy a copy of his paper.

So, that's the background. It was his claim to fame back in the '70s.

From there, he went into politics, and etc etc, long story short, he's a top data broker. For decades now, he has been the CEO of one of the biggest US data trawling corporations, holding detailed personal info on at least 175M Americans (as of 2007 - doubtless, it's more today), which they use to help get politicians elected.

"Aristotle has served every occupant of the White House since Ronald Reagan, and consults for several top political action committees."

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Aristotle_Phillips#Aristotle,_Inc.

Perhaps unsurprisingly for someone who's devoted his life to gathering info about other people, there doesn't seem to be all that much out there about him or his company.

So, my gut tells me he has become "a bad guy", just my automatic reaction to anyone who deals in this field ... But, IDK, bigger picture is just, I don't know how to process this info. Maybe there's nothing to process, it is what it is.

IDK. Just looking for other people's perspectives, I guess.

Recently I was approached by someone who begged me to financially help them for a personal problem I could sympathize with. I was just approached on the street. There were several reasons why I did eventually give them part of what they asked for. Partly since they seemed sincere and partly because they have shown me some papers and an id card. Also since they turned down a smaller sum and offered to repay it which I refused. Some people can well damn seem as what they want to seem, papers can be printed and reused and id can be fake or they can just count on relatively small sums and lack of evidence to dissuade legal action and honestly I don't even know if it would count as crime justice system would pursue.

For context what I gave them was about third to half of a cheap month's rent so not truly substantial but also not trivial.

If they did something constructive with it then that is well. If they did something not so good then now I unknowingly funded that and if they just tallied it as good day's work then what I did is simply stupid. I would like to live in a society where this was just not a thing as in anyone not actually malicious would not be in a position to need to do anything like that but where we live it is statistically likely that I am just an idiot.

In retrospect the halfway I went about it also strikes me. If I believed them and they were genuine I could have given them what they wanted as it would not be all that much more financially impactful. If I didn't and they weren't I should have just walked away as all the other people did and in not doing so I enabled someone at something.

What is truly stupid of me regardless of anything else is at the end when I just didn't know I effectively flipped a coin, as in looked whether the time on my phone was odd or even to decide, though I did flip it a few times.

Id never heard the terms satisfier or maximizer til I was having a discussion with my then girlfriend about the difference in the way we select things. The difference became apparent when she wanted to buy a new lawnmower. We walked into a big box store, she looked at a row of 10 mowers and said "I want that one" pointing at the second one. Being a maximizer I thought she meant that was her first choice out of the 10 options here but obviously we had two more stores and many more options to check out.

Nope.

She meant she had looked them over in 2 minutes and THAT mower was her final choice.

I honestly was quite surprised. "You don't wanna shop around? Compare features? Compare prices?" No, that's not what satisfiers do. Satisfiers just find the first thing that satisfies their needs and go with it.

Which is why my wife can select anything and everything very quickly and I end up making a spreadsheet to do a thorough cost benefit analysis on anything important. I even had one when I was dating for every woman I went out for coffee. And fortunately, she didn't - she just started reverse alphabetically and since my username was near the end of the alphabet I won the luck of the draw.

And here we are happily celebrating our 15th anniversary next week. Who says you gotta be the same to be compatible lol?

Are you a satisfier or a maximizer?

Optional sentence stems in the comments- feel free to add your own.

I will know if you cheat or use AI because I know how you write. Graphic organizers are available but not required. I don't care if you're texting your mom, put it away. Also, my name isn't bruh, but lately I find myself responding to it anyway.

In short: the prospect of generative AI becoming increasingly prevalent has been gnawing away at me for a long time now. It's looking like there are no limits that will matter in the near future. But interfacing with generative AI in basically any capacity instills in me a kind of existential horror and revulsion that I don't think I can live with in my day-to-day life. Unfortunately, it seems that generative AI will soon become unavoidable in any white-collar career path, to say nothing of casual exposure in everyday life. I try as hard as possible to shield myself, but I doubt that will be realistically possible for much longer.

I'm in a graduate program, but I'm not confident that my field will still be relevant in five years. Even if it is, I'll almost certainly spend a lot of time interfacing with generative AI, the thought of which makes me nauseous.

Frankly, I'm so disgusted with what the world has become and what it is becoming that it's turning me into kind of a nasty person IRL.

So I'm musing on ways to get out. On finding a way to make enough money to stay alive while having as little contact with the digital world as possible.

Anyone have any experience/ideas?

Listened to Craig Ferguson on his podcast "Joy" talking with Diedrich Bader, last known for playing Jethro in the Beverly Hillbillies movie (which flopped).

The most interesting part was their discussion about gaining and losing that "Hollywood aura" - they agreed it was like someone handing you a magic hat, and while you're wearing it, you're the most special person in the room and everyone wants your attention. And then the hat goes away and you're back to being very ordinary and in at lot of cases, become an actor somewhat desperately looking for more work. Which is why they attend so many parties and awards. It's not so much about the glamor, its about getting a chance to network and try to find a new gig with the producers and directors and financiers in attendance.

Bader asked Ferguson if there was anyone he interviewed that gave him that sense of awe, someone who still wore that magic hat? Nope. Ferguson said after years of doing his Late Night show they were all just people. New "star", old "star", none of them really made a big impression.

Although he DID say when Sean Connery shook his wife's hand her chest visibly blushed and Craig asked her later what that was all about. She said, "Well it doesnt do it for YOU but THAT was Sean Connery!" Pretty funny.

But it was interesting to hear some insiders talking about other insiders the way they did. They're all just actors looking to stay employed. Which makes sense when you see an A list actor in a B movie and wonder why they took that role. Probably had bills to pay, that's why.

One of the tags that I almost always remember to include in my posts here on Tildes is the author.authorname tags. I wonder which author is cited the most through the tagging system here on Tildes. I know that journalists in ~society show up a lot, but there are also quite a few repeat authors in ~games

This isn't just about crimes like the identity of Jack the Ripper, DB Cooper, the fate of the two English princes locked in the Tower of London, or what happened to Jimmy Hoffa. There are so many mysteries throughout history that are unlikely to ever be fully solved or explained, that we can only theorize about.

What is the Voynich Manuscript? Who was the Man in the Iron Mask? Why was the Mary Celeste abandoned? What's up with the Dyatlov Pass Incident? What's the real story behind the Pied Piper of Hamelin? What did Anne Boelyn really look like?

There's an infinite wealth of mysteries throughout history, so which ones do you find the most intriguing? Bonus points if they're more obscure, or a smaller local one!

I've been writing, editing and designing a book in my spare time for the last four years. After a pro edit, I finally got it to the point that I was comfortable sending it out to a few people in my field for some feedback.

Meanwhile I've been reading up on self publishing and now I'm realizing how hard it is to stay in control of your work.

There are many warnings about scammers. As soon as you self publish on any of the common sites like Amazon or Ingram Spark, you will be contacted by "publishers" and "advertising experts" and "promoters" who all have an interest in trying to make a buck off you. Mostly they want to gain control of your work for their own benefit and some will post it for free even if you have it advertised at a low price elsewhere, just to gain traffic and views.

Getting your work pirated is almost a given for digital books. And how in the world do you stop THAT from happening when a PDF or ePUB file is super easy to copy and send in a second?

If that's not the greatest insult, with the help of AI, someone can easily copy your book and use AI to rewrite in a different voice or style and republish it as their own. The chances of proving that it was originally your work then become next to impossible. If it's completely rewritten is it still your work? How do you prove it?

I've done the best I can - copyright registered the book, applied for an ISBN number and have a watermark on the pre release copy. But it still feels pretty vulnerable.

I had never thought of these issues before I had something worth publishing but I suppose the same issues apply to just about any digital work - music, art, software. Trying to maintain control of your work in a digital age can easily be a game of Whack-A-Mole even if you want to spend your savings on lawyers and cease and desist letters and take down requests.

I wasn’t sure whether I should file this under ~movies, ~music, or ~society, so I put it here. Feel free to move it elsewhere.

I had a thought this morning: I’m confused about the attention-seeking behavior of famous and wealthy celebrities in the music or film industries, past their peak.

From my point of view, as someone who is neither famous nor wealthy, I think that if I ever reached that level, then I would be more than happy when people stop paying attention to me, and instead start swooning for newer, younger artists on their way to stardom.

It would signal to me that my time to be in the spotlight is over, that it’s my turn to pass on the torch, and that I can now ride into the sunset, content to potentially have several decades of time left for me to just enjoy a quiet, cozy life, making use of my money to amuse myself as well as to invest it in worthy causes, so that I not only leave behind a legacy of fame and wealth, but also improve the lives of other people.

Every famous and wealthy musician or actor could do this.

But so many of them don’t. They choose to, instead, do everything they can to stay in the limelight. They pull extreme stunts with which they harm themselves, which ironically, in many cases only end up embarrassing in the eyes of the world anyway. And they do all of this to retain the attention of people who have long forgotten about them.

What for? I don’t get it.

Is it really so that fame and wealth just corrupts a person to such an extent that they become addicted to being the center of attention?

This thought, by the way, came about because I’ve become aware of many such “extreme and dangerous attention-seeking stunts” from many celebrities in the last few weeks. It’s not about one celebrity in particular. It’s been a thought that has been brewing in my head for a while.

I was reading the potential gatorade-esque business idea thread @daychilde put up the other day and it got me thinking about all the potential business ideas my partner and I have been kicking around. I'm hoping folks can post their prospective business ideas here and folks within those industries and provide feedback, insight, or hurdles to the ideas. Kind of like the hobby thread from a few weeks ago. Excited to hear what everyone is thinking about!

That is such an infinite subject that a lot of people are passionate about. It could easily be a scheduled post. So this time I am the one doing it. Any misconception is welcome as long as it is something you genuinely care about!

So I was raised in a religious household with prayer and such but due to things like a dysfunctional family where some members used religion in a very unhealthy way, combined with distrust I have developed over the years of any sort of authority (and some of the teachings that i disagreed with), I just couldn't fully reconcile being part of the religion I was raised in and left.

However, despite the complicated relationship I have with God (I am left unsure as to whether He exists and if He is truly loving), it has proven a useful outlet for my gratitude for life.

I see unhoused people around me, people struggling with drug addiction, I am friends with a nurse who works in a psych ward and they sometimes text me the saddest stories. combine that with the fact that I was laid off for 6 month during the tech layoff season (I was over the moon when I finally landed a job), I have a lot of gratitude for the fact that I have a job in something I am passionate about, can afford my lifestyle and and a roof over my head. basically the necessities.

And I find I have a need to direct this gratitude somewhere and the idea of God proves useful in these cases.

For people who don't believe in God, do you feel a need to express gratitude at anything and if so, how do you do it?

It's easy to be wired all the time. Checking messages, performing tasks, planning for the future, making the most of every second with obvious output. But do you have any intentional inefficiency in your life? Breaks? Breaths between tasks? If so, what are they?

I was reminded this morning of the video in which a physical education teacher is performing a workout dance routine in Myanmar, not realizing that she captured the start of the 2021 coup d'état in the background.

She's wearing a covid mask, dancing to an incredibly upbeat and catchy song while the military vehicles roll in to crush their democracy. I can't recall where I saw this, but I will never forget the comment someone left online about the video which read, "This is decadently post-modern."

To make it even more interesting, the song itself is a parody of authority. It's essentially a song mocking weak men with big egos, and the song title translates roughly to, "Have Mercy, Mr. Tough Guy/Big Shot"

Link to video

What other insane things do we have in 2025 as a result of ubiquitous high-definition cameras?

tl;dr: Happy (?) ending

I wanted to post a short follow-up to my post last week, as things have progressed very quickly.

The most important thing I would like to say is "thanks" to everyone who chimed in with your very helpful advice, well wishes, and support. I took everything you said to heart (which is probably a risky thing to do from random internet folks, but this community is simply different).

Everything just clicked for me as I was going for a run last Friday and talking out loud to myself in a sort of stream of consciousness manner. I probably looked like a crazy person. Honestly, I don't know where the words came from, but it was all crystal clear.

I went home and asked my wife to talk "just one more time... and this time it will be different, I promise." I told her that I have come to terms with her decision and I respect it. I also asked her if my understanding of what went wrong made sense, and she said I hit the nail on the head. So I have a starting point for what I need to start working on personally.

We talked for a long time and started going through logistics. We are both on the same page about raising our son in a healthy manner. We will be doing equal shifts (week on, week off) and will find places to live relatively close to each other. We plan to remain friends and meet up regularly for our son.

On top of all of these things that happened VERY quickly on Friday, I found out that my mother fell and broke her hip on Saturday. She's got a bunch of other issues so a hip break is NOT good for her. We all packed up and hit the road to drive ~4 hours to the hospital. Mom is recovering now. It was a very surreal experience, this new form of bonding my wife went through over the weekend. We're now just friends, living together for the time being; yet still doing everything we can to help each other out.

I'm still very tired and not sleeping, and I'm CERTAIN I'm not even one step into the grieving process, but I feel better right now. I am working on moving on and moving forward. I feel as if I have stepping stones that will make me a better person AND I can work on the issues that caused all of this in the first place so I can learn how to pass that wisdom on to my son to make sure he doesn't run up against the same challenges as I did.

Again, I am sharing all of this because you all gave me some very frank, direct, and compassionate advice and support. Reading through the comments as they came in helped to keep me grounded and on track. I have archived all of the messages in my Obsidian notebook and I will read them in the future to remind myself to stay focused on self improvement. Thank you, once again.

I am Brazilian and I have used software to assist me in writing both English and Portuguese since I the 1990s. That was a great boost to my learning process, as I could see the corrections made to my writing and incorporate them in my writing. I also enjoy concoting sentences that feel correct and proper.

However, writing this way has disavantages.

First, when I write correct English, readers will assume that I am a native English speakers, generally American. This comes with a lot of baggage and expectations for the interpretion of sophisticated context which I lack. When I fail to conform to those expectations I am met with hostility. At that point it is useless to disclose my nationality, since the bad vibes are already set.

Second, formal and properly written paragraphs give the impression that I think too highly of myself, that I wish to give more weight to my ideas than they really have (someone was aggressive to me because I used the word "ontological" once...). Much of the world prefers the informal mode of communication which I personally find unpleasant. But bad interactions are way more unpleasant. So perhaps I shoud change the way I write to be intentionally informal and a little improper. That way everyone will understand that I am not a native English speaker and also that I do not believe that my ideas are inherently superior to everyone else's. Also, a little bit of error prevents people from thinking I am an AI.

I did not proofread this post and I feel ashamed. Maybe it is for the best.

Premise: Pretend that human hibernation/cryostasis is a real technology that's both mature and affordable. You can choose to go into hibernation and wake up at some point in the future to resume your life. It's a safe and reliable process.

You choose when to enter hibernation (could be now, could be 50 years from now or more), and you set your exit either for a certain date or on some condition(s) that you dictate in advance.

You can expect that you'll be taken care of during that time and your rules for being awakened will be followed.

What I'm interested in hearing about:

1. Would you choose to do it? Why or why not?

If you would decide to do it, some follow-ups:

2. How would you decide when to enter hibernation? Would you base it on your age? On specific events in the world?
3. How would you decide when to exit? Would you base it on time, or on certain conditions? Why?
4. What preparations would you take? How would you help your family and friends understand this decision?
5. What would you hope to see or experience once you awaken?
6. How would you plan on adapting to a world that might be completely different from ours on many different fronts (e.g. technology, language, culture, identity, etc.)?

Even though the situation is hypothetical, I want you to base your answers on your actual experiences and life. So, the question is about whether you, as you are living right now, would choose hibernation (either now or in the future).

Why is it so hard get most people to care or even get them to engage in actual discussion about indirect effects of their actions?

I'm mainly going to be talking in the context of tech and privacy since that is my main sphere of concern but it applies to a lot more things.

I am not dismissing the effects of systemic incentives but there are trivial actions that anyone could do to lessen the likely negative effects that almost no one does.

The current climate makes it incredibly hard to actually eliminate personal impact but it still easy to minimize it with negligible impact on one's own life. Like in sw development the first 90% take 90% of the time and the other ten procent take the other half of the time.

Getting a minimal computer literacy of being able to navigate an unfamiliar GUI, explore and understand the settings and be able, read the messahes they are getting on the screen and willing to search their problems would make anyone much more resistant to any number of dark patterns, yet there is a tendency to defend tech illiteracy.

Personally I don't really do that much and I make compromises easily but sadly I get the impression that I am still in the small minority.

I'm currently in the process of job shopping and, while it feels like all my friends are happy to tell me why I shouldn't work where they do, I do enjoy hearing from people that are satisfied with their line of work.

I personally like that my current work gives me free reign of the warehouse we operate in, if we met our metrics we could hold a game of poker in the back without too much fuss. What are some qualities in your work that make you a happier employee?

I am trying to figure out and process my aversion to pursuing a career change.

What I have surmised is that I come to the conclusion, "well, in your past, most of the jobs you have studied or trained for, were not, in fact, what you thought they would be like in practice, so how do you know this is not the case with your new interest in career?"

What I'm looking for is people to challenge or confirm my assumptions: Example: "No, actually, your perception is distorted, most jobs are what people expect them to be."

I'm also looking for, validation or commiseration, "yeah, I feel that way too, it sucks" and am open to some problem solving, "I was once in your position and I did X,Y,Z and here were my results, YMMV"

Thank you for reading!

Conversations about finding and losing love are everywhere. Which is no suprise, when people are swimming in new love drugs they want to talk about it. Likewise when they're drowning in loss or trying to navigate relationship troubles. And they're interesting conversations to have because almost everyone can relate. Love and relationships are at the core of the human experience.

But so are relationships that last. Love that keeps working in spite of the constant drag of, sometimes mundane, everyday life. High functioning love.

It's quieter, less interesting for uninvested parties and more difficult to articulate in a simple, accessible way without sounding boring or cliche. Which is maybe why it gets talked about less. It's not that it doesn't have all the hallmarks of a good adventure. There are highs and lows, challenges that seem impossible in the darkest moments, unexpected redemption, soaring elation. It's often exciting when you're in it. But more often by volume, if somewhat less in memory, are small moments of shared joy, companionable silences, ambivalence, soft landings on hard days and endless personal growth to support the happiness of another human. Or maybe more accurately to support the health of this third space you've created together.

There's also shared identity, which amounts to the expansion of your idea of self. There are the sorts of moments in life which no one can really understand if they weren't there without the help of especially inspired poetry. And, most of the time, there's this other person who was, in fact, there. No explanations needed. More than that, they bring different context and add different perspectives to the experience that become a part of your own.

There are the moments when you face the reality of impermanence, mortality and futility and the way that somehow having this warm, breathing second witness takes the edge off the howling chaos at the edges of civilized existence. It makes it easier to accept the process of life and death in ways that are difficult to articulate. It's sort of a non sequitur but something that comes to mind is the way that curling up by a fire on a stormy night is somehow more cozy than if it was tropical out and you didn't need a blanket at all.

I could go on, but my goal wasn't really to talk about my ideas about love. I'm hoping other tildinians will be excited to talk about their experiences with, and thoughts about, love that lasts. That could mean your own relationship(s) or it could mean general musings. Whatever comes to mind.

Equal space for the parts that are good and bad. There are usually two people involved but there's nothing binary about it. It's all nuance.

In a meeting this morning, someone said, "Vampires don't tend to live in castles. Count Dracula lived in a castle because he was a count, not because he was a vampire." Then things got silly, but I got to ask one of my favourite unknowable questions.

Can you kill a vampire with a sharp carrot?

Additional questions:

• what about a bamboo stake?
• a stake made of palm tree?
• other flora?

A preface, I'm a cisgender male so I don't really have a "biological clock" so to speak but I'm curious on what people have regretted not getting to, or regret not starting at an earlier age.

A couple of things to kick off discussion, I started saving for retirement early, and assuming that there's still some normalcy in the next 4 years (which... Is not looking great) is on of the things I really feel great about.

I also prioritized my health last year, and in 2023-2024 probably lost around 30 pounds which I consider an investment for my future as well.

I've been rereading The Fellowship of the Ring and saw the mention of Hobbits having their coming of age at 33.
"At that time Frodo was still in his tweens, as the hobbits called the irresponsible twenties between childhood and coming of age at thirty-three."

It made me wonder what all of your opinions are on adulthood/coming of age. Some questions I thought might be interesting around this topic include:

• Are there any coming of age ceremonies where you live or that you partook in?
• Are there any coming of age ceremonies you've heard of that you think would have been cool to participate in or think should be more widely adopted?
• When did you feel like you were an adult?
• Do you think the legal age that someone is considered an adult in your country should be changed?
• Do you think there are some things that should be age gated beyond the age of legal adult good? (I.e.: in the US alcohol being restricted to those who are 21+ years of age while someone is a legal adult at 18.)

Curious to see your thoughts on this!

Recently my wife was complaining how her phone has been getting overzealous when flagging incoming phone spam, and as a result she's missed some important calls. It made me think about how easy it is for me to avoid spam calls, despite using a 3rd party dialer on my phone without any kind of spam ID features.

It's because around 15 years ago when Google started letting you pick your own phone number through Google Voice, I (for various reasons) needed to change my phone number. I ended up choosing one with what I thought was a really cool area code, and I've ported that number to every new provider I've swapped to so it's stuck with me since then. It turns out that all the spam callers, bless their hearts, like to spoof incoming phone numbers with the same area code as the number they're dialing. It means whenever I see a call coming from the same area code as my number it's ~100% guaranteed to be spam, and if I see a call coming from the same area code that I actually live in it's ~100% guaranteed to be something actually important (doctor, pharmacy, kids' school, something like that). It wasn't my intent when picking the number (I just wanted the cool area code), but it turned out to also be the perfect spam call ID system. (At least so long as I never move to the place that matches my area code.)

So I'm curious if anyone else has similar stories, where you did something for one reason but it turned out to actually be awesome for an entirely different, unexpected reason?

I was talking to the other guitarist in one of my bands about the hedonic treadmill the other day. And he said to me that despite owning his swanky Range Rover for over 4 years, every time he gets in it he feels like a kid and is excited by it.

I think continued delight in the things that we already have is a really important attitude to take in life, and so I wondered what things my fellow Tilderen (yes, I'm refusing to budge on the nomenclature until I see at least one other person use it) have which they still feel the magic of owning, even after a long time.

I was looking through some pictures and realized that, starting from pictures taken a few years ago, you won't be able to tell how old a picture is based only on picture quality, even though that's been the case pretty much since the invention of photography.

Happy end of year, everyone!

I saw a comment today on Tildes that reminded me of a type of thread that I really enjoyed back on Reddit: end-of-year awards. Those were typically in individual subreddits and involved a lot of specifics and inside jokes related to that community, but I think Tildes is a small enough place where we could do one site-wide. (Full disclosure, I am not sure if this is a great idea and am open to any and all suggestions.)

Brief explanation:

• For starters, there are no actual awards to give out, sorry. Just some pats on the back and maybe some street cred to go with it.

• The purpose of the thread is mostly to highlight cool, helpful, and interesting things or users you've seen here on Tildes in the last year. This thread is hopefully a gateway to those interesting posts/comments/discussions that you might have missed.

• Top-level comments should be an award category (for example: Most Interesting Thread, Best Discussion, Most Helpful Comment, Funniest Joke, Most Helpful User, Best Prediction, Favorite Recurring Thread, etc.) Note that none of these examples are negative because again the goal of this thread is to highlight awesome stuff that others might have missed over the last 12 months.

• Responses to those top-level comments should be the actual nominations, preferably with a link to said comment/thread, and a quick explanation as to why you think it deserves recognition.

• Upvotes serve as the votes for each category, though I encourage you to vote for as many nominees as you'd like since the awards aren't real and the points don't matter.

That's pretty much it. I'll post a few comments as examples, but hopefully it should be pretty straight-forward. Feel free to add your own award categories, and please nominate as many users/comments/threads as you'd like!

If this thread helps at least one person discover a helpful thread from 6 months ago that they might have missed, then I'll consider it a success.

I don't mean that I'm scared by some terrible content on the internet, or that I'm actually afraid of using it. What I mean is the same feeling I often get from open-world games: FOMO, a sense of chaos, being lost and lacking direction.

Internet is inherently like an open-world game. There's so much content available. In your entire life, you won't see even 0.001% of it. This very post will probably be seen by like 100 people at most, which is such a tiny share of all internet users.

I get very anxious thinking about this. People often talk about how they miss "the old internet", which consisted of small websites and had to be explored. To me, that sounds like hell. I don't want to explore internet. I want to know where something is and how to find it. Information is on Wikipedia. Opinions are on Reddit. Et cetera. But the internet doesn't work like that - there's so much stuff that I don't even know how to grasp it.

I recently discovered https://are.na because someone mentioned it here on Tildes. I signed up, and immediately got that feeling. There's a huge amount of content, and I'm supposed to just explore in until I stumble upon something?

Tildes is one of the few websites where I don't feel that, because the amount of content is relatively small so I have a feeling of keeping it under control. But it also makes me think about how there are countless other small communities like Tildes, and ones that I'll never be aware of - and that's also pretty scary.

Does anyone else feel something similar? I've seen many people talk about similar feelings regarding keeping up with social media, but that doesn't actually bother me, but the amount of communities that can be explored does

I don't know how appropriate this topic will be or how uncomfortable some users will be addressing it. But I noticed a switch online in the usage of previously determined slurs.

When I was a child in the '00s, it was pretty common for people to say the "r-word" as well as refer to things as "gay" whenever they meant stupid or bad. I remember ad campaigns to stop the latter from occurring (one commercial featuring Hillary Duff and another featuring Wanda Sykes). But both of those things went away as we got deeper into the 2010s.

The Obama and, especially, the Trump years were marked by increased progressive language. I do think the turn was in 2016 when using these terms became widely unacceptable. Even two years earlier the hit song Fancy by Iggy Azalea featuring Charli XCX contained the lyric: "That my flow r***** each beat dear, departed."

I think a lot of the hyper-political correctness of 2016 and onwards was a response to the Trump presidency. I think people on the progressive left felt the need to be hyper-vigilant about that. Once the Biden administration happened these rigid beliefs began to relax.

I'll use a few examples of this shift involving a network TV show, to take this conversation into a more concrete real world. Saturday Night Live.

Shane Gillis, a very non politically correct comedian was hired as part of the cast of SNL in 2019. Lorne Michaels hired him to appeal to a more conservative crowd or to at least not be so catering to its liberal demographic. Gillis, who is largely not a conservative, was caught in a scandal following his casting news. Clips from his podcast surfaced of him making fun of Asians and mocking their accents. Gillis was shortly fired.

Fast forward to this year: Shane Gillis hosts SNL. Not only that, in his opening monologue he says the r-word.

Another SNL adjacent example. Matt Healy, lead singer of the 1975, appeared on The Adam Friedland Show podcast. The podcast, originally called Cumtown, is known for its non-PC humor. Healy participated in jokes making fun of Ice Spice and laughed at the host's more racy humor. Scandal surrounded Healy, who was dating Swift at the time, and he was essentially "canceled." Except, he was immediately the musical guest on SNL not long after the scandal (they were the musical spot for Jenna Ortega's episode). If this was 2019, The 1975 likely would not have been invited to be the musical guests, and/or the host of the episode (in this case Ortega) would have been pressured by her PR team to make some sort of post disavowing their inclusion. This didn't happen. In fact this year Jenna Ortega criticized political correctness herself

The last SNL example I wanted to give was in Ariana Grande's recent episode a joke was included where Grande calls someone a pathetic little gay guy, followed by her saying "I meant gay as in stupid and bad" which was very well received on all corners of the internet.

So what happened here? My perception might be warped since in late 2022 I began using the subreddits r/redscarepod and r/theadamfriedlandshow where this type of humor and the usage of these terms was already normal. So it was a little odd to me when these began gaining steam in the outside world.

If it really was just a response to Biden's presidency I feel like we would now be returning to the hyper-political correctness of the 2010s during Trump's administration. But that doesn't seem to be happening.

Maybe political correctness fell out of style, and that will be the case for another five to ten years when it becomes fashionable again.

This is more of an incoherent chain of consciousness from a lot of the thoughts I've had about being online over the past 20~ years. I welcome discussion and thoughts about the points I make in this post, optimism is appreciated as I've almost none left for this. (For context for the older folks on this forum, I'm not going to be getting into pre-2006 internet as I wasn't around to experience much of it. I know the internet has a very rich and storied past from before that period of time, but the vast vast vast majority of people didn't "get online" until after this period of time)

As we hurtle headlong into 1/4th of the way through the century, I've been looking back on the earlier years of the internet and missing a lot of it. Sure there were a lot of rough edges and problems, but I'd argue that would be true of any period of time for any large group of people. One thing that always stuck out to me in the past was how much the used to reward innovation, creativity, and hard work. Youtube, Twitch, Reddit, even platforms like Twitter and Facebook; they all felt a lot smaller and a lot more approachable for the amateur with some ambition. So many of the success stories you heard from around that era were just seemingly normal guys and gals who had some talent and drive and put in effort and made it big. Obviously there's some confirmation bias there, you don't hear the 1000 stories from the people who tried and failed, but I don't think you can deny that the "barrier to entry" was a lot lower back then in pretty much every field. I've gotten to know the founder of the company I work for, and he started it out of his house with a few friends from college and created what would be considered today to be a pretty basic product, and they managed to turn it into a 200~+ million dollar business in just over 10 years. Most of the stories I've heard are like that, just a guy or a couple guys sitting down and working on something over the course of a few months and striking it big off of it.

Now let's get to the point of this post, to me it feels like those success stories have slowed to a trickle, if not stopped completely. The amount of competition there is in every field is insane. Are you a fairly talented digital artist looking to make a little extra cash on the side? 10-15 years ago, you could easily get commissions for things like Twitch emotes, personal portraits, (drawing furry OCs), etc. Nowadays I don't know a single amateur artist who can find a reliable source of clients who are willing to pay any reasonable amount of money, and this was before AI took over the low hanging fruit for pennies on the dollar.

I'm going to continue to draw on personal experience because that's the only field I feel like I can speak with some authority on. In the Youtube/Twitch scene, being a reasonably skilled video editor used to mean that you could make a decent (if meager) living and build up your reputation by editing for large creators. Editors became known for their styles and even became mini-celebrities in the communities that they were a part of. Now it feels like every large Youtuber/Streamer has a team of faceless, nameless production staff that handle all of the video management, thumbnails, analytics, etc. There's no personality anymore, there's no individuality; you're part of the business, a cog in the machine. The .00001% of people who manage to crawl their way to the top of creating videos or streaming content have hyper-optimized the process so finely that there is quite literally no room for a newcomer to enter the space and attract a crowd.

I'll expand on that last paragraph a bit because I know that its not really 100% true, I see Youtubers and streamers every single day that I've quite literally never heard of before, and they have millions of subscribers; the platforms have never been more diverse. But one thing they all seem to have in common is that the production value and effort required to make their content is 100x the amount it was 10 years ago. You can't just put a handycam on a 10 dollar tripod in your bedroom and make it big on the internet anymore note: this is explicitly ignoring Tik Tok because I have no interest/experience with that platform, and from everything that I've heard, "tik tok fame" is so incredibly fleeting and transient that someone can go from being a celebrity to a nobody literally overnight. It's the tabloid magazines of internet content, just a flash in the pan for the vapid and dopamine-starved. It also seems like one of the most toxic and manipulated platforms out there, quite literally millions of people putting out actual trash into the ecosystem, throwing anything at the wall to see if it will stick. (for anyone who thinks I'm being too harsh on TikTok, I'm referring to the part of the platform that's all astroturfed sponsored trash like "omg check out this new water bottle I found that filters out negative energy in your water before you drink it" and the 1,000s of other scams that infest that godforsaken app. That TikTok rant got a little off-track but it just makes me so frustrated to see how hyper-consumerism, low effort, and morally bankrupt the "creators" of that platform are. It's all about the "grindset" and "hustling to make a quick buck." As long as you get your bag, who gives a fuck right?

To circle back to some more context for why I'm making this post, I'm very active in the freelance/contractor space. A lot of my friends are/were creatives, freelancers, contractors from all sorts of fields; artists, sound designers, voice actors, video editors, website developers, app programmers, audio engineers, etc. I was talking to one of my friends about some of the projects they have been working on recently, and one of them was editing down a podcast for these two hustle-culture bros. The type of people who offer those $5,000 paid online courses on how to make "passive income" online; you know the type, I know you do. And the surprising thing to me was that these guys were actually "successful" they had suckers enrolling in their courses, they were making good money. You want to know what the one of the "hot tips for passive income" that they were using? They made AI generated "product review" videos on Youtube that would scrape Amazon product listings, and put together thousands of automated useless garbage videos a day and pump them onto any platform they could monetize. You ever try to look up a review for a fairly niche product to see if its any good, and all you can find is AI generated trash? Yeah, these are the types of people responsible. They have absolutely no morals, no respect for their audience, they will do anything it takes to make .0001 cents and completely flood the platforms they're on with worthless garbage making it unusable. It's the online equivalent of an industrial factory discharging thousands of gallons of toxic waste into the ocean a day to make a few hundred bucks from some boomers who can't tell that a video is worthless.

I use this as an example because this is happening everywhere, in every field. It's not always AI, its not always worthless trash; but the almost universal truth everywhere I see is that every possible niche online is absolutely packed to the brim with a million other people and bots who will do whatever you do for much less money and time. Competition for human attention and money has completely exponentially skyrocketed and there is quite simply not enough to even begin to go around.

If you stuck around through this rant and it resonated with you in any way, feel free to share your thoughts and opinions below. I ask that you don't just solely comment based on the title without reading at least some of the post. This is definitely coming from a negative headspace and I'm well aware that my personal experience may be skewed, but its so hard not to be cynical and jaded.

Hey all, I have a root canal shortly, and I thought I'd distract myself from that stress with some things to ponder.

What are your best topics that you can regularly discuss or debate but have little real life concerns? Someone whose name I forget shared wondering what sort of food/rations aliens would bring with them.

Help me lower my anxiety and/or distract me from my pain. Or just ponder yourself.

EDIT: root canal successful, but I still would love a lighthearted "what could you discuss at Christmas that isn't politics" thread so thanks y'all

This could be an organizational and curation method, a "simple" task you thought you could automate, or an open ended interpretation of the question. If you've spent "an adequate amount of time" on such a project, but others disagree, you're free to share as well.