Alright, so one of my favorite things to do at night is throw on a great audiobook and play a video game...but it has to be a very specific type of video game. No meaningful dialogue or plot, no math or strategizing, and lots of hyper addictive gameplay that you can almost do subconsciously.

Here are the games I've found like this so far:

1. Trials Rising (and it's predecessors). I've actually made some global leaderboards in this game. It seems so simple when you start the campaign mode, then you learn about ninja mode and it's suddenly a different game.

2. Olli Olli world

3. Skater XL, Session, Skate series, Tony Hawk series

4. Lonely Mountains Downhill

5. Descenders

6. Any multiplayer shooter (COD, Fortnite, etc.)

7. Trackmania - not my thing but it definitely scratches this itch for a lot of people.

8. Mudrunner and Snowrunner series.

Here are some that did not work for me.

1. Sekiro - I just get too into it. Can't multitask.

2. Vampire Survivors - just not into it.

3. Rogue likes - never enjoyed them.

4. No Man's Sky - amazing game but I prefer to play it co-op. Already conquered it anyway.

Any other suggestions?

Next horror film is the cannibal horror movie Ravenous from 1999 directed by Antonia Bird starring Guy Pearce in the leading role.

IMDb
Letterboxd
Wikipedia

Since this is the month of horror movies, did you find it scary, unsettling, creepy, eerie, spooky or horrifying?

The rest of the schedule for June is:

• 17th: X (2022)
• 24th: The Exorcist (1973)

Hey, so I'd really just like to get an idea that's been in my head for god knows how long out into a program, even if it's just a demo of what I've imagined. But I never had enough knowledge in a particular engine to just get the idea out. My main programming knowledge is from Java classes, and I've dabbled in enough in HTML/CSS, Javascript, SQL, Powershell, etc. enough to get through classes, projects, small scripts, deployments, etc, so I have programming experience from a conceptual point. But I've never really worked with GUI elements in a serious manner outside the Cocoa IDE handling all the heavy lifting. Any time I get the itch to tackle this I give GameMaker or Godot or something else a try via some tutorial, I never get to the end of it. I figured learning by example would help, but I forget most of the basics on how I'm supposed to set up an object or attribute... Then I try it the other way around where I try to learn it bottom-up and I get overwhelmed if I lose my way in the middle of a process... It's extremely frustrating, I swear I've been through this about three times in the last seven years or so.

I'm curious, has anyone had this much trouble with this? What did you do, what was your in?

I'm trying to get away from the lifestyle of taking a shit ton of photos and then laboriously organizing them at a later date. I could totally take a photo, switch to the gallery app, select that photo, and then move it to the right folder, but as many tilders can probably relate, that is not conducive to the ADHD lifestyle. I need something at the point of contact.

I'm gonna try to be brief. This is the worst I've ever felt, weather-wise, in my life, and it's only the start of summer. It's heavily negatively affecting both my physical and mental health. I can't even properly work. I don't have AC. I can't afford it. Everybody around me is suffering very similarly.

I've been following climate crisis for years, but I've never thought I'd see such an extreme worsening this early. Even if I knew in theory that anomalies like this could happen, as it's very widely agreed upon that they would, it's much different to live through. It's hell on earth.

I'm one of the luckier ones, relatively speaking. There are over hundred thousand people dying from heatwaves each year. It's probably much higher than officially reported, because most governments don't track heatwave deaths. Millions and millions of people in India have been experiencing bigger and bigger water crises. Just in 2019, 600 million people faced a water crisis in India.. Hundreds of millions of people in Africa are suffering due to climate change related climate extremes and food security crises.

I also just found out that a location in Antarctica exhibited 70F (38C) higher than normal temperatures this year. Faster than expected, right?

I think this is inexcusable. Oil companies and such knew what was coming. There are countless documents and studies detailing this. Here are a few.

• Exxon confirmed global warming due to their emissions was happening in 1982.
• American Patroleum Institute similary knew in 1980.
• Exxon knowingly spread climate change denialism in response (source 1, source 2)
• Even in 2015, Exxon was dodging responsibility, telling people to "read the documents". So, two scientists, Geoffrey Supran and Naomi Oreskes, did that. And found out that Exxon acknowledged global warming in the internal documents, while they denied it in public (article 1, source 2). In other words, it's been empirically shown that they fucking manipulated the public with full knowledge.
• Exxon is not alone. ExxonMobil, Chevrontexaco, BP, Royal Dutch Shell, and Conocophillips spent 3.6 billion dollars for lobbying in US alone during 1986-2015.. 61% of these expenditures are after 2006, when climate change started becoming a hot topic. So, when they attracted attention, they doubled down.
• Another document is of American Patroleum Institute from 1998, showing they intentionally focused on exaggerating the uncertainties of climate science in front of the public.
• Big Oil still opposes science and us. A study published in 2019 shows that ExxonMobil, Royal Dutch Shell, Chevron, BP, and Total spent 1 billion dollars on lobbying and branding after the 2016 Paris Agreement.
• Oil companies are not alone. A study examining the 2000-2016 time-frame in US found that "fossil fuel and transportation corporations, utilities, and affiliated trade associations" are all major climate lobbyists. Only 3% of the total climate change lobbying was done by environmental organizations and renewable energy corporations.

These crimes are inexcusable. The people responsible should pay for them. And these should be treated as crimes against humanity and the planet, of the highest degree. These people don't deserve anything but to pay. They are the evil, who, in great awareness, have unreversibly damaged the planet, caused untold suffering. They still continue to do this, and even if they stopped now (hah!), their evil will continue to haunt humanity and a myriad of other species for unimaginable generations.

They should pay.

Today is my last day at work and my boss wants me to BCC anyone I have ever sent an email to announce my departure.

I have tried exporting all my sent messages and trimming the list by advanced sorting out the duplicate email addresses in excel, but messages with multiple recipients are plentiful and need to have the emails separated into individual cells at the very least.

I also tried the .NK2 file route. I downloaded the MFCMAPI program to find my hidden autofill contact file, but it can only be exported as an .xml or .msg file and I don't know how to handle those files properly to get the data I need.

Does anyone here have a solution to automatically add every autofill contact on Outlook as BCC recipients for a final email?

EDIT: I found a solution that worked for both of us. I emailed the clients I remember as the most important and set up an automated reply to handle those I forgot to message.

Hi all,

I am in the middle of taking bids with my local HVAC companies and am looking for someone to nudge me in one direction or the other. For background, I bought my house in western Michigan, right off the lake Michigan coast near Grand Rapids, last Fall. My home inspection made it clear the AC would need work and I haven't started to feel the need for it until recently. I called an HVAC company out and when they said the unit was 25+ years old, I just told them to forget about even fixing it because it would be at least 10% of the cost of a new unit and still way less efficient.

So.

My natural gas furnace is also ~20 years old and the first HVAC guy said that if it broke down, it likely wouldn't pass a safety inspection. They said something about how the coils being dirty or positioned someway or something, I can't really recall 100% what the issue would be but the gist that I got was that when it breaks down, whether it be 1 year, 2 years, or 5 years, it won't be worth fixing or it will be unfixable. A new AC would be ~$6500 and a new furnace would be ~$7000.

So I started up the conversation towards installing a heat pump unit in instead of a standard AC unit. My initial thinking is that when the furnace goes, I have the back up ready to go instead. Now a heat pump unit is going to cost me around $2000 more. I don't think my plan will be to ever install a replacement furnace. Depending on what the solar assessment says, evaluating both ground mounted and roof mounted solar, will tell me how worth it is to go that route and have discounted or free heating and cooling.

Where the calculus gets tricky for me is there is the Inflation Reduction Act which will give me a $2000 tax credit for a heat pump. But that will come with buying a more expensive, and efficient unit, and I believe I will also have to completely get rid of the furnace I currently have since the total home system has to meet the efficiency standard. In addition, last month I replaced my fuse box with a 200 amp panel and if I meet the requirements to get the $2000 tax credit, I would also get $600 tax credit for the panel since I can tie them together.

All in all, I am looking at getting a more efficient unit for roughly the same price as the less efficient unit but without the natural gas furnace as either main heating, or back up heating. My hesitation is that natural gas is so cheap that it doesn't make sense financially to go heat pump only unless I have renewable energy to pair with it. But maybe I am just overthinking it? And maybe I have gotten something wrong in my calculations?

Any advice or clarifications would be greatly appreciated. I have one more quote coming this Thursday and I hope to make a decision by Friday to get the work started

Inspired by the recent post about Arrival / The Story of Your Life

The idea of linguistic relativity ... is a principle suggesting that the structure of a language influences its speakers' worldview or cognition, and thus individuals' languages determine or influence their perceptions of the world.

There's, of course, a lot more to it, many variations, and all still at least somewhat in dispute.

Nevertheless, as the title says, assume it's true, and speculate on which languages would be the most interesting to learn from an "expand your mind" perspective.

While an extraordinarily long read, I appreciated

I just don't know what to read next.

This was a lot of high fantasy to take in!

I'm likely to resume my read of Band of Brothers, having seen the HBO series twice already. I'm aware of several deviations from the book; that's not relevant here.

But what next? Looking for thought and feeling provoking reads that evoke hope. Could be non-fiction or fiction.

Suggestions?

I was working on a VR experience showing wealth inequality in true scale. By a habby coincidence I discovered a game jam with the rather blatant title Fuck Capitalism Gamejam 2024 which just happened to end in a time span where I'd might be able to finish off my game. So, great, now I have a deadline! I began to plan what I could reasonably expect to finish within that time frame.

But today, I read the game jam page a little more closely. Turns out the deadline is for voting on the submitted games. The game jam had run out a long time ago. So, no deadline. And of course, I became aware that submitting it to said gamejam wouldn't have mattered much anyway.

Guess I just have to keep working on the stupid project. Everything just feels so pointless, because, well, I guess it is. And trying to build up some pretend excitement gets a bit stale.

Anyhow, how are you folks dealing with the good ol' what's-the-point-of-it-all feelies? Is life just a yo-yo movement between hopelessness and semi-engaged pretence of meaning, or are there other roads to travel?

Hello all, was inspired to fish for responses after seeing another user request resume feedback. Apologies if the background is on the longer side.

TLDR: Dropped out 10 years ago; have only a high school degree and university transfer credits. Conflicted between finishing my degree online while working full time, vs. specializing in a niche tech stack (Salesforce) via current employment. Looking for any input because I'm prone to decision paralysis.

I put on Hit Man last night and about an hour into - it once some romance got going - I just.. stopped caring. I realized I just don't care.

I am strictly homosexual, important to note.

It wasn't even mainly a romantic movie. Nor a bad movie. It was pretty average but I often quite like these turn-off-your-brain type action/comedies. The weird thing is that the same director made the Before trilogy which are some of my favorite movies of all time, but maybe it's just that they're better movies?

In any case, it just kind of surprised me that I had this reaction since I usually don't mind this "tier" of movies. It's not disgust or anything either! I just.. didn't care. But if it were a gay or lesbian romance, I would have definitely been super into it.

I assume I'm not alone in this. I'm just having kind of an epiphany moment here! You'd think a 30 year old who's been out for years would have had this realization a bit earlier: we/I am not the "default" target audience.

Feels pretty weird?

I often think about the purpose and/or meaning of life and I've been struggling to work through these thoughts lately. As I teen I've had these thoughts often, but after experiencing my first manic episode (that led to psychosis) back in August 2022, the question of "What's the point?" pops into my head quite frequently.

Alongside this I've been struggling to come to terms with my new diagnosis of 'Bipolar Type I with psychotic features' as I've already been diagnosed with ADHD back in 2017 and I realize that both of these are life-long diagnoses. I know I just have to learn how to live with them, but that's been a tough pill to swallow.

I should mention that I'm not suicidal or anything, but rather I feel hollow and numb inside as I am very unfulfilled with life. Some days are okay and I'm still functioning and taking care of myself (so it's not like a full-blown depression), but as I mentioned before, I just don't see the point in all of this and don't find many things to be worthwhile or enjoyable anymore.

Basically I feel like a shell of my former self after my episode and have found much difficulty in enjoying the things I liked before from hobbies, to music and even food (I was a highly food-driven person). It's definitely much better than it was immediately after my episode, but it's as though life has been sucked out of me and I'm just going through the motions of living because it's what I'm supposed to do. I know recovery takes time, but it's been nearly 2 years since my episode and I thought this feeling would go away by now...

(I've also been seeing a counselor and OT and am doing things such as CBT and ACT which helped a bit, but not enough as I am here asking questions on an online forum seeking help).

If you have any advice on how to work through this it would be appreciated.

EDIT (12/6/24): I wanted to say thank you to all the responses and advice given. I may not have replied to everyone, but just know that I have been reading the comments and I do appreciate them :)

I picked ~misc and don't really have an idea of what tags would be appropriate. If there's stuff I can include in future posts like this I'll be glad to make sure they're there, just let me know. There probably won't be one for a long while but I'll remember. Technically I am advertising myself a bit, but I think I've framed it well enough that ya'll will see it's not really the point of the post. I'll never be bothering ya'll with offers and ads and shit.

This is a continuation from a post I made a while back about how it's going with the endeavor I've set in front of myself. In some ways, things proceed as I'd hoped, while in others there's been need for flexibility/adjustment. I wanted to give an update because a few big steps happened this past week which hopefully mean moving into a busier phase of the whole thing, and to add to the corpus, create the proof of what this all was as it begins if that makes sense.

The biggest thing has been an article published in our local paper. Two, actually, which were combined together into a front page spread I did not expect. Yes, there's a photo of us and our contact info in there, and yes, you're welcome to reach us if you've an idea for something you'd like to do. You'll be talking to me, and I'll be happy to go over details and land on pricing that actually does work for both of us. Primarily we are offering the space, with some ability to accommodate large groups and connections with folks who can provide stuff. It depends on what you want, how things will be priced. The less you need us to do, the less we need to charge. We don't want to regularly be a place where folks stay overnight, but I can probably swing that from time to time for someone coming from far away. If you aim to do something in the near term, do be aware it is hot as shit down here and very humid. The house is a-ok staying cool, but you'll want to be prepared for Mississippi in the summer. I have a dog too, so if you've got allergies you'll need to prep accordingly. She's gonna be 16 this year, she's nothing but friendly to people and sleeps a lot. Pets are welcome, provided they are house-trained and well behaved.

I am intentionally avoiding the internet on the whole for reasons I'll get into, but I do want to extend an offer to this forum in particular, as thanks for allowing me the space for expressing my thoughts as they took shape. I'm aware the site is public facing - what I'm going to share here is public already. I have to bite the bullet on sacrificing some anonymity and just try to control how that anonymity goes away, is how I've come to see it. You won't find me on social media, and what exists for the house/my grandmother is wildly out of date/largely inaccessible - it's gonna stay that way if all remains up to me, so this is just about the only way for someone outside of Brookhaven to know of us at this time. I'd like for at least a few people to know what we were up to, in a form that serves as proof of my intent from its actual beginnings. While the plan took shape before I ever wrote about it, it was in writing about it that I was able to make it clear to myself, what I aim to be doing, so I feel like it's part of completing things to share this stuff here.

The paper is very much a local thing, they got a few details wrong and you'll probably pick out how the quotes don't quite sound like me if you've read a lot of what I've posted. It's fine, the details in need of correction aren't critical. There isn't a lot in there about the more high-minded stuff I like to write about, because I'm not there yet. For now, it's simply building a business out of something, I have to make the something from which that business will spring. I'll think more about where it goes when I've got it moving. The article was free, which was pretty awesome. The paper is in a slow time, and it's mostly one guy doing a lot of the writing, they were just happy to have something to include. I think he did great.

The articles worked, too. I got calls the day the print version went out, and am expecting some followups soon to set dates and square away payment. I go walking downtown every day in the afternoon, and got some extra attention. While it's possible, while the pressure is light, I've been taking advantage by trying to advertise almost solely through word of mouth and face-to-face interactions, fully aware it will take a while for that to have an effect and that I may need to branch out fast if pressures change. Thus far, it's been the local paper, a print ad in a different paper that goes out primarily to local businesses, and a radio ad. There's a couple of reasons I've stuck to stuff like that.

The first is that I think it will provide a good foundation for sustaining the enterprise. If it's possible to have enough business to stay around purely from what exists around me, that means I can capitalize maximally if/when we do extend advertising outside our area, and it means security if for whatever reason those means can't be utilized. I don't want to be dependent on the internet for a livelihood if I can possibly manage it. It's not so principled a position that I'd refuse to do it at any point, rather it's like a back-pocket option, something to be engaged with strategically at what I determine to be either the proper time or because the needs have grown past what I can sustain without it, if that makes sense. My aim is to be a part of this town, to be of it, so I want to keep what we're doing as local and simple as possible. I have to be ready to constrain everything and take care of my grandmother too. I won't let that priority slip and will endure whatever hardship is necessary to fulfill it. It's easier to do that the smaller things are, a bit of a balancing act.

The second reason is much more practical and kind of silly. My grandmother's computer is the biggest security risk I think I've ever encountered in person. I refuse to introduce new online components when such a risk exists, if that makes sense, and I will endure whatever hit to efficiency/development it means until I can get it corrected. Her usage habits are minimal which is a lucky thing - she sticks to old fashioned stuff for almost everything. But, a priority of mine is that she can see and understand everything I'm doing, so I need this machine to be in a better state before I can take some of the steps with that. The challenge of it isn't technical at all, I could get the thing in good working order in a day, probably.

To give you an idea of what's difficult here, imagine for a moment you just ignored the internet as a whole since it began. You used it, you know how to do some stuff on it, but only by way of memorizing actions, the steps necessary to do a thing you wanted, a setup someone made for you. You never really engaged with what the stuff you use is designed for, you didn't follow how any of it developed, you're (blissfully, I'd say) unaware of pretty much that whole end of things. It's very difficult to explain the danger of something like an AI phishing scam, to someone who for all intents and purposes, never learned what phishing is, and further doesn't tend to believe in the shittiness of other people. That last part is one of the reasons I love my grandmother as much as I do, but it does make this task harder, and delays further action on my part.

I've gotten the machine to as secure a state as I can, and have gotten the data backed up, so hopefully movement really gets going on this and I can feel better about spreading out our net, so to speak. I think what frustrates me about it is having been there across years of time - a lot of why this machine is the way it is, is because other people took it upon themselves to "fix it" and almost none of them knew what the hell they were doing. They didn't explain anything to my grandmother either. Their interactions mean misunderstandings on my grandmother's part, and the lack of a foundation of knowledge means it's starting from zero in a way I have never actually encountered before doing this kind of work. I've gotten close, seen some pretty absurd things, but the lack here is just of a different kind, more complex than it seems. I've been writing about it separately/on my own because I think the experience stands as a sort of ultimate test of a lot of the stuff I did before I got here.

There is also health to think about. The priority, for now, is to set things up in a way which is compatible with what my grandmother can do. I'm trying to set up situations that let her do the things that make her happiest, and do all of the nitty-gritty shitty stuff myself. That means house maintenance, yard work, grocery shopping, cooking, arranging for stuff like an electrician when something breaks, learning how to do some of the fixing myself. I've only ever rented. I've never been in a position to maintain a house before, and as I'm sure plenty of you know far better than me, that's a good bit to learn all on its own. Especially with a home as old and complicated as this one with an owner who hasn't done a lot of that herself. Can't exactly tell me what needs doing when someone else was being paid to come do it for years. I feel good about it though, I like to learn and I like to fix things, and there's lots of opportunity. I've been able to eliminate a lot of costs and reduce regular expenses by taking on a lot of what others were doing and applying effective fixes to longstanding issues. It's very fulfilling, like getting to do the type of work I always hit a wall with in all my other workplaces, improve and optimize. That it's for my family brings together a lot of what matters the most to me, keeps me constantly motivated.

The town is nice too. It's been a few months so I've gotten more acclimated, the slower pace of things and friendlier atmosphere really does a lot for me. Here are a bunch of images of downtown I took on some of my walks. Because of the slower pace, I can be measured, precise, take the proper time to consider things and work out problems without feeling like I'm in some inner state of siege/under the gun all the time. At first I missed a lot of what was available to me elsewhere, but as time went on I came to realize a lot of that just didn't matter as much as I thought it did. As much as I love a good Indian restaurant and a computer store, not having them is not the detriment my mind used to pretend it was. Along with that has come an explosion of creativity, I've done a ridiculous amount of writing and reading, and am slowly getting myself up to snuff drawing things. The house exists on an art school campus, and from what I've gathered reading local magazines the presence of that school has done a ton to really give this place character and variety. My hope is to really lean into that, support it and see if we can have our space be a place for folks to work their creativity. Connections are taking shape and that's made me real happy to see. I cannot tell you how heartwarming it is, for example, to talk about this stuff with the guy who does a radio show and then hear him on the radio a day later saying "this place is really good you should go see it!" Folks are really beginning to grasp my aims when it comes to the scale and type of stuff we want to do, and I haven't really encountered much suspicion/doubt/etc. Folks tend to just trust the simple motives. I can't ask for more than that, the sense of gratitude I wake up with every day is beyond my ability to capture here.

So, there you go. Another step taken, one more further toward whatever comes, as precisely as I can manage to get to the goals. I wanted to post the followup because I said I'd do that and as part of the effort itself, share the vision and the way it plays out in the hope others spot what my eyes miss, and/or that they might take something useful for themselves from it. I'd love to read it if you have thoughts, opinions, advice, experience. Or if you just want to talk about the high minded stuff, I do like doing that. Helps me stay consistent. Anyway, i've said plenty, so off I go to walk around downtown again. I've got that phone on me all the time, call/text whenever (text if it's after 5pm CST, is my only request with that). As always, I very much appreciate you taking the time and giving me your attention.

Ive been in the home rental business for 35 years, enough time to see the same scenario before, but it leaves me just as vexed this time as it has before.

The issue is a young couple, about 23 years old, who have been together for a year. She is openly and admittedly 'madly in love' with her boyfriend, going so far as to announce on the initial walk through, that they want the suite because "its so quiet and peaceful and we are going to have a baby here" A bit too much information.

They were fine during the interview, and all their checks were passable - both former landlords I contacted gave them a thumbs up for paying their rent on time and keeping the place clean. Everything was fine except for his credit score which was very poor - but thats not unusual for someone that young who is still learning how to control their finances.

There is another young couple in the lower suite and they met and exchanged pleasantries and seemed to hit it off initially. But one week in, I got the first text from the basement tenants saying that there was yelling and screaming upstairs. I was startled because it seemed unusual compared to the public face they presented. I asked the tenants to inform me if it happened again. Maybe it was just one very bad day I hoped.

It did happen again. The next day at 5 am they were shouting so loudly that I could hear them over the basement tenants phone. I asked the tenants to call the police because it was domestic violence. They were about to call when everything went quiet again and they chose to wait.

There was a lull for a bit and then the third week I got an early morning text again. This time they were not only yelling at each other, they were screaming at another couple, friends supposedly, who were staying with them. There was loud banging and "it sounded like chairs being thrown around"

I told them to call the police, which they did this time but by the time the police arrived everything was calm again. Moments after they left though, everything erupted and the two guys ended up in a fight on the back lawn, Fists went flying and someone got punched although at this point its unclear who punched whom.

The police were called back and according to the account I got, the boyfriend was arrested. He says he wasn't and the police wont give me the report without his permission.

So yesterday I went to talk to them and inspect the house. I cant see any visible damage however it could easily be hidden by the goods piled against the wall, they're still unpacking as they've only been in for a month.

And then my dilemma begins. I KNOW this is a toxic relationship. Ive met this kind of guy before. Smooth talker, good looking, believes he can charm anyone any time. When I told him about the three reports of excessive noise and violence his first reaction was "it won't happen again" and his second was "I will call the other tenants and explain, Im sure we can work this out"

No buddy, no you cant. Because you're an abuser. And you'll do what all abusers do. You'll try to quiet the noise for a time, try to make your girlfriend use a forced whisper instead of an open cry, but it will only be a matter of a week or two and you're going to lose your temper again and we'll be right back where we are now, but probably even worse, because your character has been exposed.

And then I struggle with my place as a landlord but also as a caring human. I LIKE these people. They were charming and fun to get to know. I did extra work for them, getting new appliances in place because she's a specialty cook and loves to be in the kitchen. I made sure everything was 100% because I wanted them to be happy and have a nice place for them and if it happened, their new baby.

But now Im very concerned for her future. She doesnt seem to realize just how deep she is into this toxic mess of a relationship. His comment was 'we fight like most couples' and I abruptly cut him off: "NO! NOT like most couples! Most couples dont wake up the neighbors at 5 am with a screaming match and have a fist fight on the lawn where the cops get called" He looked slightly sheepish for a second and then went right back to his charm defense, saying he would work it out and they just needed 'another chance'.

The reason I think I may want to say more is because of Mercedes. She and her boyfriend rented from me about 10 years ago. It was the same scenario - charming, good looking but very angry boyfriend who lost his temper and went around the house damaging walls and smashing a porcelain sink. He was so rabid I actually brought a friend along to give them their eviction notice because I feared for my safety. That wasnt unjustified and his rage was palpable and extremely scary.

But when he was out of the room I asked Mercedes if she was ok. She said she was nervous, scared, but ok. I said 'I hope you're not going to go with him when he leaves' and she shook her head. The light bulb had come on. "No, the second he's out the door Im out of here. I hope I never see him again." Thank god she was finally seeing things clearly.

I came across her again a year ago online and just sent a friendly hello and if she remembered me and the house. She not only remembered me, she thanked me for helping her escape her hellish relationship. She said she was now in a very good and loving relationship and she couldn't believe how blind she was to even move in with Mr. Toxic in the first place. She said their eviction was a important turning point in her life.

And I see Mercedes in this new tenant. Im just not sure she realizes what she's got herself into. Or else she does and she's not sure how to get out because I cant imagine how violent his reaction would be if she tried to leave.

Which leaves me stuck. They are new to this area. They said they dont have many friends and family is a long way away, so there's no one close who is seeing what the basement tenants and I saw. And we're not sure what to do. The basement tenants are so scared of him they dont even want to be in the same house.

What do you say or not say to someone in this situation? Saying nothing seems irresponsible. Saying too much seems dangerous at least to her safety. So... what do you do? How do I figure out if she even wants help? And if I say something too soon, or too late, he may turn on her and get even more violent...