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    1. What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga)

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was...

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

      If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

      6 votes
    2. What creative projects have you been working on?

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on. Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just...

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

      Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

      If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

      7 votes
    3. What are you following this week? Weekly sports round-up thread

      OK, let's give this a shot. Feel free to share your thoughts about anything going on this week in the world of sports - an event you're looking forward to, a great game you watched that you...

      OK, let's give this a shot.

      Feel free to share your thoughts about anything going on this week in the world of sports - an event you're looking forward to, a great game you watched that you recommend, a story that you're keeping tabs on, whatever tickles your fancy. Also, if you have any ideas/suggestions about this thread itself, feel free to chime in. My one suggestion is to please keep spoilers out of top-level comments.

      Edit: We don't have a theme tune (yet) but just imagine this is the intro (other brands are available).

      14 votes
    4. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      8 votes
    5. What did you do this week?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      5 votes
    6. If you read any news sources/publications for more specific/alternative subjects, what are they?

      Tl;dr typical news sources tend to prioritize political and governmental events and the things that surround them, like economics and social issues, even if they cover everything, and by covering...

      Tl;dr typical news sources tend to prioritize political and governmental events and the things that surround them, like economics and social issues, even if they cover everything, and by covering everything they probably stretch themselves thinly among what they don't prioritize. (At least that's how it feels.)

      A few examples of what I'm thinking of are:

      Foreign Affairs, who focus specifically on geopolitics

      The Scientific American, which focuses specifically on... science.

      Aeon, which seems to focus on "the humanities". (vaaague.)

      So... what are your examples of news sources/publications like this that you follow?

      8 votes
    7. Thinking of how to boost content and participation in here. What's your sport(s) of choice and how can you best contribute?

      Follow-up to an idea I mentioned here. My "specialty" is definitely soccer. I primarily follow the Spanish league but more or less keep up with the big 3-5 European leagues. I can easily post...

      Follow-up to an idea I mentioned here.

      My "specialty" is definitely soccer. I primarily follow the Spanish league but more or less keep up with the big 3-5 European leagues. I can easily post related content. I have a medium level of interest in other sports in general but am pretty out of the loop with most American sports.

      Any thoughts on what you want to see?

      20 votes
    8. What is your reading environment like?

      How and where do you like to read? Tell me all about your reading environment(s), both real and idealized. Do you sit in an arm chair with a cup of coffee and a worn paperback? Lie in bed with a...

      How and where do you like to read? Tell me all about your reading environment(s), both real and idealized. Do you sit in an arm chair with a cup of coffee and a worn paperback? Lie in bed with a cat curled up next to you in the dim glow of your ereader? Under a tree in the woods, listening to the book on your headphones? If you could find/build the perfect reading space for you, what would it look like?

      And then, what about your more practical reading: on your phone on your lunch break? While waiting for your kids in the car during soccer practice? Tell me about the times you fit reading in even if it's not necessarily the full focus of the moment, or the times where you settle for a comfortable but less than ideal setup.

      Include any meaningful rituals or accessories too. Do you like to put a good album on the record player to accompany you? Do you have a special bookmark that you use? Do you share your book covers on social media or livetweet each chapter? Does your favorite lamp like to look over your shoulder as you turn the pages?

      Basically, tell me all about what reading looks like for you -- with enough detail so we can picture it!

      21 votes
    9. What programming/technical projects have you been working on?

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's...

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

      11 votes
    10. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      4 votes
    11. Weekly coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - week of October 12

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the...

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!

      12 votes
    12. TV Tuesdays Free Talk

      Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here. Please just try to provide fair warning of...

      Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      8 votes
    13. How do you know whether a back-and-forth conversation is productive and/or appreciated?

      Sometimes I get into a back-and-forth... heated interaction with someone, and it goes on for a while, and then they stop responding. Afterwords, I might wonder if it was worthwhile. Maybe they got...

      Sometimes I get into a back-and-forth... heated interaction with someone, and it goes on for a while, and then they stop responding. Afterwords, I might wonder if it was worthwhile. Maybe they got tired of arguing with me, or maybe they just thought the conversation reached its natural endpoint? Rarely, the conversation might end with us explicitly agreeing it was a good discussion, but that's kind of formal and not the usual case online.

      Just stopping is my habit as well. If I don't want to talk anymore, I upvote the last comment (if I thought it was good) but don't reply.

      In the case of repeated interactions like this with the same person, sometimes I wonder if I'm annoying them by replying to their comments too much, particularly if we disagree often. I've never been explicitly told to go away, but people are often reluctant to say things like that, for good reason since you never know how people will react.

      It seems to me that upvotes don't tell me this. Upvotes tell you whether your comments make sense to the crowd. They don't tell you whether the person you're talking to liked your reply. Which seems like it would be good to know. It would be valuable feedback if the goal is to be a better conversationalist. That seems like a good goal to aim for?

      I guess we could get in the habit of saying "good point" and all that, and sometimes things can be inferred from what people say if you're good at taking hints, but not all of us are. But we are all trained to upvote things we like already, and it seems like it would be nice to take advantage of that.

      To the extent that people like to gather internet points, I wonder what sort of conversation would be encouraged if you got them by writing a good reply from the perspective of the person being replied to? But I guess it could be gamed pretty easily if two people cooperate, so we probably shouldn't keep a total.

      Also, think about how this looks from the outside: if you are reading a conversation by two other people in a heated back-and-forth, how do you know whether they're having a good time or not? Maybe it seems obvious, but in some cases a heated discussion might look worse to outsiders than participants. If you could see that they liked each other's comments then it would seem friendlier.

      Note that Facebook does tell you who upvoted a comment, but since it tells you everyone who upvoted it, it's even more information, maybe too much.

      (This is a followup to @NaraVara's previous topic, focusing on a particular aspect of it.)

      13 votes
    14. What are some songs/albums that strongly benefit from their "outside story"?

      What I mean by this: information that is not self-contained in the song/album enhances or changes our interpretations of it. It can be something the artist said/did, the historical or cultural...

      What I mean by this: information that is not self-contained in the song/album enhances or changes our interpretations of it. It can be something the artist said/did, the historical or cultural context surrounding the music, the inspiration for the song or its writing/recording process, or anything else that makes the target music more meaningful.

      Arguably any music can benefit from knowing its "outside story", so I'm looking for particularly noteworthy examples -- ones where this information is especially significant. This is of course subjective, so really anything goes! If you think it's important, well, then that's good enough to share!

      14 votes
    15. What did you do this weekend?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      11 votes
    16. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      6 votes
    17. What creative projects have you been working on?

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on. Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just...

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

      Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

      If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

      15 votes
    18. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      8 votes
    19. What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga)

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was...

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

      If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

      8 votes
    20. Weekly coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - week of October 5

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the...

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!

      9 votes
    21. What did you do this week?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      8 votes
    22. What social norm(s) you would like to see changed?

      Anything goes for this one: they can be general or specific, regional or global, IRL or digital, big or small, significant or insignificant. Pretty much any shared norm anywhere is fair game....

      Anything goes for this one: they can be general or specific, regional or global, IRL or digital, big or small, significant or insignificant. Pretty much any shared norm anywhere is fair game.

      State what the current social norm is (and if it's specific to certain regions, cultures, or environments), why you want it to be different, and how you would improve it if you had the power to do so.

      28 votes
    23. What are you reading these days?

      What are you reading currently? Fiction or non-fiction or poetry, any genre, any language! Tell us what you're reading, and talk about it a bit.

      10 votes
    24. Confessions of NPC torment

      Shadow of War keeps crashing on me now, which has provided the inspiration for me to finally sit down and get this off my chesticles. I think bad things happen in my brain when I read the news too...

      Shadow of War keeps crashing on me now, which has provided the inspiration for me to finally sit down and get this off my chesticles. I think bad things happen in my brain when I read the news too much or don't get enough exercise.

      I remember when tormenting NPCs in games used to make me feel very sad. I was almost driven to tears by the villagers in Black & White being flattened under a carelessly dropped boulder, in fact. Over the years, though, I've found that my capacity for cruelty toward NPCs has grown considerably. I'll give a long example:

      In the game *Shadow of War*, you wage a supernatural guerrilla war against orcs in Mordor. While orcs and goblins are usually portrayed in the *The Lord Of The Rings* as being stunted, hobbling little creatures, the kind you face up against are Uruks. A basic distinction between them and ordinary orcs is that Uruks are bigger and nastier. Mordor is crawling with Uruks of various sizes, colours, tribes and fighting styles, and your job is to dominate or kill the toughest of them to rebuild the army of the dark lord in your own image.

      What sets the Uruks of Middle Earth apart from your typical NPCs, aside from the great variety in their appearance and behaviour, is the superb quality of their voice acting. Each of them has a name that reflects their character or deeds in combat. Each has his own wrestler-like introduction, complete with imaginative threats of violence. They can taunt you one last time on their knees before you deliver the killing blow, they can cheat death to come back scarred and vengeful, they can ambush you and swear they'll make you eat shrakh (they have their own vocabulary too) for killing their blood brother, and they can become increasingly obsessed with you if you either refuse to stay dead...or choose to do what I like to.

      You see, you don't always have to kill your prey. In fact, depending on their strengths and weaknesses, that might be strongly against your interests. You're supposed to be rebuilding an army, after all, and for that you need like live soldiers. So while the potential pool of captains is as deep as the infinite birthing vats of Mordor, there are some who will have a special place to you for reasons of their attributes, their fighting style, their level, or even their voice and appearance. Some Uruks sing, some rhyme, some look like cenobites, and still others might communicate like the Martians from Mars Attacks. Once you find a favourite, you can defeat them in combat and then choose to dominate them. At this point, you can recruit them...or you can shame them.

      Shaming is a mechanic that will lower an Uruk's level and place a prominent brand of your palm into their face. This can be useful if they have an iron will and you wish to remove that attribute so they can be coaxed into joining your zombie army. However, just as Uruks have a chance to cheat death or betray you, they also have a chance to react strongly to being shamed: they become deranged, losing their mind along with their power level; or they transform into much more powerful maniac.

      Finally, on to my tale of the follower who betrayed me and suffered a fate worse than death: being almost the sole object of my attention for an entire evening. I had a rather powerful follower with a suite of deadly abilities in combat, and he was a hoot to watch at work. I sent him to the fighting pit frequently, not so much to level him up as to watch him butcher his optimistic inferiors in a variety of exciting ways. Sadly, this follower eventually died in combat, and I recruited someone else to fill my emotional void. I'd actually forgotten about him until he unexpectedly surfaced in the middle of battle a few hours later, announcing that because I'd left him on the battlefield he was swearing his allegiance to the true dark lord of Team Red. A fight ensued in which I knocked him down to a fraction of health and then dominated and shamed him, before finishing off my other opponent. Not willing to let the matter rest, though, I pursued my erstwhile soldier, marking him down as Priority Uno. Again and again I would find him patrolling some quiet corner of the map and leap down upon him like a spider onto the head of an Australian electrician. After the first few shamings, he was only indignant at the repeated humiliation, but by number four, he was becoming increasingly paranoid that I was a tool sent to test him by the dark powers that ran Mordor. He would yell that this was simple to see, and to tell my infernal masters that he refused to be persecuted like this.

      Eventually, after I'd almots shamed him all the way down to level 1, I encountered him sitting quietly on a little mossy bridge and staring blankly into the ravine below. I found it momentarily moving that anywhere within miles of the blasted hellscape of Mordor could present such a remarkably tranquil, pastoral scene. I wondered, from my perch above, what he must have been thinking. Did his heart hang heavy with sadness and regret? Was he building a mental web of the conspiracy in his head? Or was he just thinking that he was so exhausted, and it was such a long way down?

      He didn't have long to ponder, because shortly afterward I broke him. I turned my one-time compatriot into a gibbering wreck unable to vocalise words beyond, "It's simple! So simple!" as he stumbled away, quaking, through the undergrowth.

      If you thought the story was already bad enough, you should probably stop here. Earlier, I mentioned that the previous captain had ambushed me during combat, and that Uruks have a chance of cheating death. Well, the other captain I was fighting at the time did just that, and was incensed that I'd maimed him. Unfortunately for him, his fighting skills hadn't improved during the mortal interim, and I decided to shame him as well for giving it a second go. He broke a lot quicker, and would do nothing (outside of attacking me) besides giggling like Bill Skarsgård's Pennywise. Once I'd sent him off for the third or fourth time, I was surprised by another orc who raged at me for destroying his blood brother's mind and swore he'd do me in for it. This was quite unusual, as Uruks don't tend to display emotion beyond anger and terror (in that order). I thought for a moment about the fact that I'd taken this Uruk's brother away in a manner far crueller than just outright killing him, and then I shamed him too. Somehow, though, it just wasn't quite as much fun, so I eventually killed him.

      In the space of a few idle hours, I had managed to turn a game full of compelling and even charming characters into something more akin to One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, then eventually the asylum from Amadeus. It was quite entertaining, in spite of the little melancholic voice in the back of my head, until I inadvertently checked myself in and dissociated entirely. I hope my in-game stats aren't being too closely observed.

      So, got any confessions of your own? Is this a potential indicator of psychopathy? How many musically talented Pushkrimps have you recruited?

      7 votes
    25. What programming/technical projects have you been working on?

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's...

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

      7 votes
    26. TV Tuesdays Free Talk

      Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here. Please just try to provide fair warning of...

      Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      6 votes
    27. For those of you who have had COVID-19, what was your experience like?

      I'm interested in hearing your stories. What are/were your symptoms like? Do you know how/when you were exposed? What was your timeline of events, including symptoms, testing, quarantining, etc.?...

      I'm interested in hearing your stories.

      • What are/were your symptoms like?
      • Do you know how/when you were exposed?
      • What was your timeline of events, including symptoms, testing, quarantining, etc.?
      • Did it affect other aspects of your life (e.g. employment, relationships, etc.)?
      • Have you fully recovered?
      • What's something about your experience that you haven't seen a lot of mentions of elsewhere?

      And of course, feel free to share anything else not asked in these questions.

      If you personally have not had it but someone close to you has, feel free to share your experiences with that as well.

      META: If this topic is better served in ~health.coronavirus feel free to move it!

      41 votes
    28. What do you daydream about?

      Whether it's thinking about a videogame, fantasizing your future, a new workout, pondering existence, etc. What do you spend your free time thinking about? I like to spend a lot of my free time...

      Whether it's thinking about a videogame, fantasizing your future, a new workout, pondering existence, etc. What do you spend your free time thinking about?
      I like to spend a lot of my free time defining what a human is and what it means to be one, and I always enjoy watching as my ideas progress over time. So what is something you muse about in your free time? What do you like to sporadically think about and what questions do you often return to?

      14 votes
    29. What did you do this weekend?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      15 votes
    30. Thoughts on feeling like you're posting too many links when there is not enough content

      It seems like there are not that many new topics posted on Tildes, and that we could post a lot more. But I sometimes find myself reluctant to do so. Don't I post too much already? Recently there...

      It seems like there are not that many new topics posted on Tildes, and that we could post a lot more. But I sometimes find myself reluctant to do so. Don't I post too much already?

      Recently there was a survey and apparently many people think Tildes is too tech-oriented. I don't think it's all that tech oriented, not like Hacker News or lobste.rs, but that makes me a little more reluctant to post tech links. (Though, really, other people should post more of the kind of links they want to see.)

      I suspect it's not just me. Periodic topics sometimes get a lot of comments. Periodic topics have been started specifically to avoid having too many top-level topics on one subject.

      But, why are we avoiding this? What's wrong with posting more links? If this were a social bookmarking site, I'd be saving more links. Maybe I'd save a bunch of accordion links, without any regard for whether people are interested?

      It seems like we need something like folders. When new links are posted in a folder, they don't get listed individually at top-level. You could drop a bunch of links in a folder if you felt like it, without feeling like you're monopolizing conversation, because people would have to open the folder to see what's there. Or maybe instead of folders it would be something like creating a playlist. You could start a topic that's basically a list of links, and then anyone can add links to it if they want.

      It seems like groups don't really do this, somehow? They feel a bit too open and exposed. Everything shows up on the front page regardless of group. (I mean, you can filter or unsubscribe from groups, but many of us don't. Partly because they're too broad. Who's going to unsubscribe from music just because they aren't interested in some music?)

      So instead we use topics and post links as comments. It sort of works, but it's given me a lot of practice at writing markdown-formatted links on a mobile keyboard, and they appear differently in search and aren't tagged.

      It seems like links posted within a topic and posted top-level should be more similar in the UI. Maybe if there's some conversation about a link within a topic, a moderator could promote it to top-level? Maybe a lot of topics would start that way, and then the site would feel a bit more full.

      25 votes
    31. Friends and loss

      If applicable: how & why have your lost friends? I'll start. One: I was terrible and certainly deserved some alienation. Though, I mostly self-pariahed. Beyond that, though... I worked with...

      If applicable: how & why have your lost friends?

      I'll start. One: I was terrible and certainly deserved some alienation. Though, I mostly self-pariahed. Beyond that, though... I worked with friends and they sucked so bad it was hard to continue liking them.

      Well, how 'bout you??

      13 votes
    32. What are your favorite third-party controllers?

      What are the best controllers for console and PC that you've used that aren't just official console controllers? I'm a nerd when it comes to getting a million different input methods for games,...

      What are the best controllers for console and PC that you've used that aren't just official console controllers? I'm a nerd when it comes to getting a million different input methods for games, and I'm always looking for new ones to play with.

      Glad we'll never go back to the hellish days before Valve and various FOSS projects fixed the nightmare that controllers on PC used to be.

      15 votes
    33. Weekly coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - week of September 28

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the...

      This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!

      8 votes
    34. Misguided things our parents did

      I'd like to hear your stories of things your parents did with good intentions that went wrong. This is mine. When I was very young – old enough that I can remember it, but young enough that I...

      I'd like to hear your stories of things your parents did with good intentions that went wrong. This is mine.

      When I was very young – old enough that I can remember it, but young enough that I wasn't going to school full time yet – my mother would volunteer at a local nursing home. I never met my maternal grandmother. I think she died a year or two before I was born. I have a vague memory of meeting my maternal grandfather, and there are photos of it, but he died when I was still quite young. Maybe 4 or 5. I don't believe either of my grandparents were in ill health before their deaths. But I think that their deaths affected my mother and she wanted to help other elderly people, so she started volunteering at the nursing home.

      I have 2 older brothers who by this time were in school most of the day, leaving my mother and me at home alone. I think she also got bored of doing housework and wanted to do something useful with her time. (I can't say I blame her!) I suspect she also thought that the residents of the nursing home would enjoy interacting with a child, even if it wasn't their own grandchild. So she took me with her. I think she wanted me to learn to value elderly people and to learn to value community service.

      Unfortunately, she failed miserably. What I learned was that old people are scary as fuck and I didn't want to be anywhere near them. You this was a nursing home. This was not an "old folks home" where they play canasta, have dances, and engage in elderly hanky panky. This was end-of-life care for people dying of cancer, and the now-preventable diseases like polio. The entire place reeked of vomit, and the old people were hard of hearing and weird. They were almost always in a bed or wheelchair, and usually in hospital gowns. There were often sounds of screaming from other rooms where some patient was in terrible pain from whatever ailment they suffered.

      The residents were all old and gray haired except for one. He was a young man. He had to be younger than my mother who would have been in her early 30s. He was probably 20-ish years old. His hair was not gray - it was dark black and close cut with electric clippers, though not quite a crew cut. He was always in a hospital gown and always in a wheelchair that had an IV pole on it (though I don't recall there ever being anything hanging from it). And while he looked normal, he had some sort of mental deficit where he could only grunt and moan. I would often see him loudly moaning and gesticulating as if trying to point at something to say, "give me that," or "take me over there."

      The one bright side to this place was that there was a woman in a red and white striped uniform who pushed around a cart full of every type of candy imaginable! I wanted so much to get a peanut butter cup or a chocolate bar from her, but no. Her candy was strictly off-limits to me. (I don't know whether it was cost or health that made my mother refuse to ever let me have a piece of candy.)

      I'm pretty sure my mother was trying to teach me the value of both old people and volunteering to help our community. But as a ~4 year old, it was too much. It instead taught me that getting old meant pain, suffering, and eventually death, and that old people are scary as fuck. I didn't want to get old or be around old people. (I eventually got over it and now am nearing being an old person myself. 😉)

      20 votes
    35. Any motorcyclists here?

      I live in Colorado and I love cycling along twisty mountain roads. The experience of being on a bike rather than in a car is a completely different way of experiencing the state. I'm always going...

      I live in Colorado and I love cycling along twisty mountain roads. The experience of being on a bike rather than in a car is a completely different way of experiencing the state.

      I'm always going like 40 mph slower than the cars that pass me though, and I can only go so far before I'm completely exhausted, so I'm considering getting a motorcycle (It seems like I'd actually be safer, since at least I'm going the same speed as the people trying to kill me now). I'm signed up for an MSF class next week to get my endorsement.

      I'd love to hear people's opinions on first motorcycles if anyone has them. I don't think the type of motorcycles people normally recommend (Suzuki TU250X etc) will work for me because of the large amount of steep road riding I'm planning to do, so I think I need something with a bit more torque. Something like the Triumph Street Scrambler seems like a good idea!

      I'm also looking for advice about whether it's completely insane to store such a bike outside. I don't have a garage, but I do have a driveway behind my house in an alley where mostly only the residents of the block ever go. I can also block my bike in with my car when I'm not using it. Is this situation plus a disc brake and a cover enough to keep my motorcycle safe-ish from theft?

      6 votes
    36. Why do you wanna be a parent?

      I really don’t have much to say, that’s 100% an honest question about something I truly fail to understand. I’m not opposed to having children if it seems right for some reason, but this is not a...

      I really don’t have much to say, that’s 100% an honest question about something I truly fail to understand. I’m not opposed to having children if it seems right for some reason, but this is not a dream or project of mine. When I ask people about it, I get vague answers or stuff I cannot relate to at all. And some people seem to want to get married and have children just because they think they’re supposed to.

      I’m really not in a position to judge, but I will probably politely ask further questions for my own education.

      If that’s a sensitive topic for you and you don’t wish to indulge my curiosity, maybe this post is not for you! Everything surrounding parenthood tends to generate gratuitous animosity, so please be patient with my earnest ignorance.

      17 votes
    37. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      6 votes
    38. What did you do this week?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      7 votes
    39. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      4 votes
    40. What programming/technical projects have you been working on?

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's...

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

      9 votes
    41. TV Tuesdays Free Talk

      Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here. Please just try to provide fair warning of...

      Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      7 votes
    42. Who are your favorite LGBT musicians/bands?

      I'm in a bit of a personal musical renaissance at the moment and am actively seeking out new music after having listened to the same albums for years, effectively playing them out. One of the...

      I'm in a bit of a personal musical renaissance at the moment and am actively seeking out new music after having listened to the same albums for years, effectively playing them out.

      One of the areas I'm interested in exploring is LGBT artists out there making good music, especially because it seems like so many have entered the scene in recent years. Let me know if you have any recommendations! I'm open to any genre.

      12 votes
    43. What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga)

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was...

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

      If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

      6 votes
    44. Tell me about your early experiences with debugging and software QA

      Are you an “old timer” in the computer industry? I’m writing a story about the things programmers (and QA people) had to do to test their software. It’s meant to be a nostalgic piece that’ll...

      Are you an “old timer” in the computer industry? I’m writing a story about the things programmers (and QA people) had to do to test their software. It’s meant to be a nostalgic piece that’ll remind people about old methods — for good or ill.

      For example, there was a point where the only way to insert a breakpoint in the code was to insert “printfs” that said “I got to this place in the code!” And all testing was manual testing. Nothing was automated. If you wanted a bug tracking system, you built your own.

      So tell me your stories. Tell me what you had to do to test software, way back when, and compare it to today. What tools did you use -- or build? Is there anything you miss? Anything that makes you especially glad that the past is past?

      C’mon, you know you wanted a “remember when”!

      8 votes
    45. What are your favourite online publications?

      Somewhat inspired by this post, I wondered what (non-personal) blogs/online jounrals you read? Here are some of mine in no particular order. opensource.com for open source devlopment Glimmer for...

      Somewhat inspired by this post, I wondered what (non-personal) blogs/online jounrals you read? Here are some of mine in no particular order.

      *I'm a team member at PrivacyTools.io

      21 votes