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    1. The body keeps the score, even when the memory has been completely erased

      I'm not here to talk about the New York Times bestseller, so apologies to anyone who's come looking for an informed discussion on that. Apologies if I'm posting this in the incorrect place, please...

      I'm not here to talk about the New York Times bestseller, so apologies to anyone who's come looking for an informed discussion on that. Apologies if I'm posting this in the incorrect place, please move or delete the post if it's inappropriate. I had something of a breakthrough in therapy recently and I don't have anyone to share this with (for reasons that may become obvious) so I'm turning to Tildes to vomit these thoughts out into the world somewhere.

      Like a lot of us growing older, I've been spending a some time trying to better understand myself and come to peace with the person I am. One of the aspects people around me (and myself) find perplexing is how I'm able to be personable and friendly, even popular in some circles, but given the choice I will stay away from people as much as possible (except for a very select few I can count on one hand). I often joke that if it weren't for my wife and kids I'd probably be feral and live in the woods, bite anyone who tries to get too close. That lady that lived alone in a cave for over a year? Life goals. I thought I was just a mega introvert, but something my therapist and I discussed made me realise that that side of my personality may be (at least partly?) a manifestation of past trauma. So here is my villain origin story.

      I've shared before on Tildes that I was very sick with cancer for a good chunk of my infancy. Whenever someone finds out I had cancer (it's left fairly visible marks, so the topic inevitably comes up) I always say it's ok, I don't remember it at all, so really it's my parents who lived through the trauma, not me, ha ha. I no longer believe that is entirely true. The body does keep the score after all. My therapist pointed out that I must have spent many moments alone dealing with the consequences, unable to fully share or understand what I was going through. Moments where I was physically manipulated whichever way, by people and instruments, dealing the nausea, the pain and the fatigue. I was too young to fully articulate my distress, ask for help (beyond crying) or seek solutions to the problems I faced. So for some moments at least I had only myself to rely on. Did the part of me that would normally seek out others die a little then?

      My parents used to remark that as a child I never cried out, just tears streaming silently down my face. They speak of how I used to play contentedly alone for hours. How I rarely asked for help when I really needed it. Don't get me wrong, I'm able to form relationships with people, and I'm perfectly capable of functioning in society. I do seek out others for company, connection, validation, love, etc, and vice versa. But I can't shake the feeling that there's something broken in those connections. It feels like something is amiss, even if I've mostly come to terms with being this way. I'm left thinking - did the trauma (at least partly) make me who I am? Where does the trauma end and where do I begin? How many of us are potentially totally different people today because the body remembers when we have completely and utterly forgotten? And if that's the case, is that...ok?

      48 votes
    2. Northern hemisphere gardeners - share your 2024 plans!

      Please share your garden plans, ideas, and wildly overambitious green fantasies here! Weird and treacherous climate change weather is distorting my garden sense. Normally, it's not a good idea to...

      Please share your garden plans, ideas, and wildly overambitious green fantasies here!

      Weird and treacherous climate change weather is distorting my garden sense. Normally, it's not a good idea to plant anything tender until late May here, but I'm betting we won't get frost past May 1 this year, or nothing that can't be handled with strategic use of row covers and cloches.

      My fingers are itching to get the hot peppers started. I'm restraining myself from starting the tomatoes too early (again!), and the snapdragons and other slow annual flowers are starting to germinate. I could probably sow kale now.

      We'll see which of last year's bulbs survived the critters until the spring. Reinforcement of the deer fencing is happening as soon as the ground is thawed deeply enough to set proper posts, and dry enough to work with wood frames and cattle panel.

      I'm going to get a few logs set up for shiitakes, oysters, maitake, and maybe see if last year's happenstance wood chip pile morels can be encouraged. Fingers-crossed that December's wild garlic (ramps) test planting took hold - if that works, I'll get more slips and expand the patch in more of the shady areas that aren't suitable for much else.

      Depending on how my hands and spouse's shoulders are holding up, there's a lot of digging in this year's permaculture expansion. A couple of Hugelkultur beds, some (mostly?) American chestnut trees, more berries and apples, planting the overwintered pawpaws, and another try at elderberries. I've got vague plans for building a grape arbor this year, but that's going to depend on availability of spouse's hands during the busy winery season.

      Looking forward to hearing from you!

      21 votes
    3. New Music Fridays: Kacey Musgraves, Little Simz, Usher and more

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your...

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your eye and interest, or share your thoughts about any new music that you've had the chance to listen to this week.

      Discussion Points
      Is there anything you've been looking forward to listening to?
      Any releases that have surprised you?
      Have you listened to any new music recently? What are your thoughts?
      What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past? How does their latest work compare?

      Links:
      Pitchfork - Out This Week
      AllMusic - All New Releases
      Stereogum - New Music

      ~~ Feedback on the format welcome
      9 votes
    4. New Music Fridays: The Last Dinner Party, Kirin J Calinan, Burial and more

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your...

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your eye and interest, or share your thoughts about any new music that you've had the chance to listen to this week.

      Discussion Points

      Is there anything you've been looking forward to listening to?
      Any releases that have surprised you?
      Have you listened to any new music recently? What are your thoughts?
      What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past? How does their latest work compare?

      ~~ Feedback on the format welcome

      5 votes
    5. Movie of the Week #15 - Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse

      First superhero movie this time around with the animated Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse from 2018. IMDb Letterboxd Wikipedia Are you familiar with Spiderman, from other movies or the comic - and...

      First superhero movie this time around with the animated Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse from 2018.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Are you familiar with Spiderman, from other movies or the comic - and how does it compare? Have you seen the sequel Across the Spider-Verse? All comments are welcome.


      The rest of the schedule for February is:

      • 12th: The Aviator
      • 19th: Batman Begins
      • 26th: Gangs of New York
      19 votes
    6. Tildes Video Thread

      Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you. It...

      Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you.

      It could be one quirky video that you feel deserves some eyeballs on it, or perhaps you've got a curated list of videos that you'd love to talk us through...

      Share some of the best video content you've watched this past week/fortnight with us!

      8 votes
    7. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like polyamory, caramelization and parking. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like polyamory, caramelization and parking. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was studious.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      23 votes
    8. Notifications are ads

      This is a thought I've been having a lot lately. It seems like 90% of notifications I get these days both on my phone and computer are ads begging me to either: upgrade a service I already have...

      This is a thought I've been having a lot lately. It seems like 90% of notifications I get these days both on my phone and computer are ads begging me to either: upgrade a service I already have ("you're running out of space on [insert cloud service here] at 75% usage will you please UPGRADE?") or re-engage with an app that hasn't sucked enough of my attention ("we MISS you! PLEASE engage!"), with the remaining tiny minority being useful actionable information. I've noticed too that social media notifications NEVER give you enough detail about something that's going on to not have to open the app directly. It's kind of exhausting to the point where I've disabled most notifications on my devices altogether. I don't really know the point of this post other than to commiserate and to simply open it up for discussion. Thoughts?

      EDIT: WOW this blew up! Thanks everyone for your contributions!

      101 votes
    9. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here. Please just try to provide fair warning of...

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      9 votes
    10. Why do you think that there isn't a male-led/focused feminist-style movement?

      It wasn't until recently that the oddness of this absence struck me. While I am definitely not claiming that men have it worse then women or other minorities, men do have very serious issues from...

      It wasn't until recently that the oddness of this absence struck me. While I am definitely not claiming that men have it worse then women or other minorities, men do have very serious issues from being men. Of course there are individual men, groups and small organizations that support men along these lines, but why do you think there isn't a broader culture movement?

      29 votes
    11. Career advice (or success stories) thread

      I've seen a few posts on Tildes now about careers - sometimes personal posts about burnout and how to manage it, other times links to articles about layoffs. The end result of both of these is...

      I've seen a few posts on Tildes now about careers - sometimes personal posts about burnout and how to manage it, other times links to articles about layoffs.

      The end result of both of these is often a need to find a new job. For some it may be as simple as applying for the same title at a different company and having success, for others it may be a long process of determining what type of career to go for next and perhaps education or other factors that can help them get there.

      I wanted to try starting a thread to see if those of us who are struggling can ask for advice, and perhaps those who are doing well can help or even post their career journey to show how they got where they are today.

      37 votes
    12. “Both-sides” and when is nuance acceptable discourse?

      I feel like some sort of alien asking this question but there is this negative connotation I keep seeing towards acknowledging “both sides” of an argument. Now, I know that things that have...

      I feel like some sort of alien asking this question but there is this negative connotation I keep seeing towards acknowledging “both sides” of an argument. Now, I know that things that have racism, sexism, and violence on one side and do not have such abhorrent views on the other clearly have a “good” side, but I also get the sneaking suspicion that calling something “both-sidesy” in a context where there are not such clear boundaries is a potential manipulation tactic to dismiss nuanced arguments. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Is my dividing line correct or are there other things to consider?

      39 votes
    13. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here. Please just try to provide fair warning of...

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      5 votes
    14. Tildes Book Club - Spring schedule (Updated Feb 2, 2:19 UTC)

      The results are in, and Dispossessed was the clear favorite with many strong contenders. It looks like quite a few people are interested in participating. There was a tie for third place so we...

      The results are in, and Dispossessed was the clear favorite with many strong contenders. It looks like quite a few people are interested in participating.

      There was a tie for third place so we will start with four books.

      Edit
      We will discuss Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell in early March,
      Piranesi by Susanna Clarke in Mid April,
      The Dispossessed by Ursula le Guin in Late May
      And Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir at the end of June.

      We will discuss Project Hail Mary in early March
      Cloud Atlas in mid April
      The Dispossessed in late May
      and Piranesi at the end of June

      At that point I plan to hold a voting thread for fiction and a voting thread for nonfiction and discuss/vote on how frequently to read nonfiction. Please feel free to renominate your favorites that didn't get chosen.

      I'm looking forward to this. Thanks for participating.

      26 votes
    15. Album of the Week #18: Portishead - Portishead

      This is Album of the Week #19 ~ This week's album is Portishead - Portishead Year of Release: 1997 Genre(s): Trip Hop Country: United Kingdom Length: 50 minutes RYM | Listen! Excerpt from Vulture:...

      This is Album of the Week #19 ~ This week's album is Portishead - Portishead

      Year of Release: 1997
      Genre(s): Trip Hop
      Country: United Kingdom
      Length: 50 minutes
      RYM | Listen!

      Excerpt from Vulture:

      The album makes total sense, but how does it sound? One could argue that Portishead can be more admirable in theory than in practice. Created in direct opposition to the twinned principles of quick profit and easy pleasure, it’s a masterpiece of painful rigor. With the exception of “Undenied,” the album’s exhilarations, though plentiful, are inseparable from its harrowing politics and embattled nature. Utley’s riff on “Cowboys” is fit to saw through steel; Barrow’s beat on “Elysium” counts its measures with an alarming or bomb-adjacent urgency; Gibbons’s voice, shorn of comforting accompaniments, is charged with a kind of grievous purity throughout, reaching heights of agony unheard on Dummy.

      Discussion points:
      Have you heard this artist/album before? Is this your first time hearing?
      Do you enjoy this genre? Is this an album you would have chosen?
      Does this album remind you of something you've heard before?
      What were the album's strengths or weaknesses?
      Was there a standout track for you?
      How did you hear the album? Where were you? What was your setup?

      --

      Album of the week is currently chosen randomly (via random.org) from the top 5000 albums from a custom all-time RYM chart, with a 4/5 popularity weighting. The chart is recalculated weekly.
      Missed last week? It can be found here.
      Any feedback on the format is welcome ~~
      20 votes
    16. I don't understand the appeal of referring to Men™ when you mean Shitty Men™, and I'd like to understand

      It's something I've wondered about for a while, but I wasn't sure how to have a constructive conversation about it. For clarity's sake, I am talking about the common social-media post of a woman...

      It's something I've wondered about for a while, but I wasn't sure how to have a constructive conversation about it. For clarity's sake, I am talking about the common social-media post of a woman talking about a terrible experience with a particular man or group of men and framing it around "Men are shitty". To be clear, I understand that is said in specific context and rarely does the person mean it literally. My question is about the appeal in the first place. As a personal example, I've been hurt by many women, but the idea of ever saying "Women are shitty." makes me feel mega-ick. So I'm genuinely curious to understand why some people find that kind of language cathartic or useful in some way?

      24 votes
    17. What is the importance of not swearing in front of my kid?

      Honest question. My son is only 5 months, but that is something that came to mind while reading posts on American websites. My culture is not nearly as sensitive to swear words are English...

      Honest question. My son is only 5 months, but that is something that came to mind while reading posts on American websites. My culture is not nearly as sensitive to swear words are English speakers seem to be, so I would like to know if there's any reason to be mindful of that other than specific cultural sensibilities. Is it inherently bad to use swear words in front of kids? Do you have any personal views on the matter?

      35 votes
    18. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like passwords, slavery.modern and greedflation. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like passwords, slavery.modern and greedflation. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was alert.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      7 votes
    19. Teach me about biryani

      I was watching this video. The auto-translated subtitles are not great, but I followed along a bit. We tried 15 types of Biryani It made me realise that in the UK I have access to a very limited...

      I was watching this video. The auto-translated subtitles are not great, but I followed along a bit.

      We tried 15 types of Biryani

      It made me realise that in the UK I have access to a very limited selection of biryani. From a supermarket it will look like this: https://www.iceland.co.uk/p/iceland-chicken-biryani-375g/87458.html. I'm missing so much knowledge about an enormous region that covers over a billion people.

      I'd be really interested to hear about biryani, especially regional variations with different ingredients. What things are essential and often missed? What makes a biryani great?

      I'd also love to hear more about delivery - those "handi" ceramic dum cooked to order pots look amazing. There's another video here of an "unboxing" - https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Q5OA4XiGl34 , and the makers have a video here too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6nE1Nla3u0

      20 votes
    20. Album of the Week #17: Canserbero - Muerte

      This is Album of the Week #18 ~ This week's album is Canserbero - Muerte Year of Release: 2012 Genre(s): Conscious Hip Hop Country: Venezuela Length: 70 minutes RYM | Listen! (Album.Link) RYM...

      This is Album of the Week #18 ~ This week's album is Canserbero - Muerte

      Year of Release: 2012
      Genre(s): Conscious Hip Hop
      Country: Venezuela
      Length: 70 minutes
      RYM | Listen! (Album.Link)

      RYM review by ligetifan137:

      When you go to Venezuela, caserbero is everywhere you go. His mark not only on the Venezuelan rap scene but worldwide is so tangible it's almost impossible to process he is gone. The power with which he delivers each line, with so much anger as he describes such raw descriptions of daily venezuelan life is haunting, it's so poetic yet so realistic. He was very well read, which can be seen all through out the numerous references of various thinkers as well as laying a very grim philosophical and political groundwork present all around Venezuela. The concept of this album functions perfectly, each song flows so nicely and feels very natural. Even though the beats can be a but repetitive and under produced, they are so overshadowed by his performance you almost forget they're there: it's as if he's speaking to you face to face. A legend to many, gone too soon. Rest in peace

      Discussion points:
      Have you heard this artist/album before? Is this your first time hearing?
      Do you enjoy this genre? Is this an album you would have chosen?
      Does this album remind you of something you've heard before?
      What were the album's strengths or weaknesses?
      Was there a standout track for you?
      How did you hear the album? Where were you? What was your setup?

      --

      Album of the week is currently chosen randomly (via random.org) from the top 5000 albums from a custom all-time RYM chart, with a 4/5 popularity weighting. The chart is recalculated weekly.
      Missed last week? It can be found here.
      Any feedback on the format is welcome ~~
      9 votes
    21. Movie of the Week #14 - The Iron Giant

      Final movie for January is Brad Bird's animated The Iron Giant from 1999. IMDb Letterboxd Wikipedia Feel free to add any thoughts, opinions, reflections, analysis or whatever comments related to...

      Final movie for January is Brad Bird's animated The Iron Giant from 1999.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Feel free to add any thoughts, opinions, reflections, analysis or whatever comments related to this film.


      The schedule for February is:

      • 5th: Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse
      • 12th: The Aviator
      • 19th: Batman Begins
      • 26th: Gangs of New York
      21 votes
    22. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here. Please just try to provide fair warning of...

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      8 votes
    23. Tildes Video Thread

      Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you. It...

      Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you.

      It could be one quirky video that you feel deserves some eyeballs on it, or perhaps you've got a curated list of videos that you'd love to talk us through...

      Share some of the best video content you've watched this past week/fortnight with us!

      15 votes
    24. New Music Fridays: The Smile, Phillip Glass, Squid and more

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your...

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your eye and interest, or share your thoughts about any new music that you've had the chance to listen to this week.

      Discussion Points

      Is there anything you've been looking forward to listening to?
      Any releases that have surprised you?
      Have you listened to any new music recently? What are your thoughts?
      What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past? How does their latest work compare?

      ~~ Feedback on the format welcome

      11 votes
    25. Tildes Book Club - Should we allow nomination of trilogies? Should we have a length limit?

      I made my first mistake coordinating this project. Gormenghast was nominated, but it's the second book in a trilogy so I excluded it. Turns out, @azaadi meant to nominate the whole trilogy. It...

      I made my first mistake coordinating this project. Gormenghast was nominated, but it's the second book in a trilogy so I excluded it. Turns out, @azaadi meant to nominate the whole trilogy. It hadn't occurred to me.

      So what are your thoughts? I haven't known book clubs to include trilogies, but my experience is limited.

      Please vote below and feel free to comment.

      11 votes
    26. Tildes Book Club - Book nomination and discussion thread

      Edit nominations are closed I asked @Cffabro about doing another book discussion as with Roadside Picnic. He suggested that I pick it up instead. So hi. Are there readers here who would like to...

      Edit nominations are closed

      I asked @Cffabro about doing another book discussion as with Roadside Picnic. He suggested that I pick it up instead. So hi. Are there readers here who would like to join me on a book discussion journey?

      If yes, please name between one and five books you find intriguing and think others might enjoy. We will later have a voting thread so that each nomination gets an equal shot to win votes with no early nomination advantage.

      Also, let's talk frequency. I think monthly, every six weeks or every two months all sound like reasonable intervals for busy people to read and discuss a book. What are your thoughts?

      Lastly do you have things to mention that you thought worked well in the past or should be avoided?

      I hope this gets some traction. I'm looking forward to it.

      28 votes
    27. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like fujitsu, transphobia and the daily show. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like fujitsu, transphobia and the daily show. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was perplexed.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      9 votes
    28. People with a "second brain": Why? How?

      I've been looking around at different note-taking apps (Notion, Obsidian, Anytype, Joplin, Logseq, etc.) after seeing a few videos about the idea of having a "second brain", and only how has the...

      I've been looking around at different note-taking apps (Notion, Obsidian, Anytype, Joplin, Logseq, etc.) after seeing a few videos about the idea of having a "second brain", and only how has the the thought popped into my mind, "What's the point?". A “second brain” seems like it would require spending too much processing power on something that only exists to exist. What are the chances there you're going to remember any given thing after writing it down? You haven’t filled up your first brain yet. This all sounds very pessimistic - my intention is not to insult anyone's choice to use these tools, but I'm curious of what benefits people have gotten from their "second brains". Maybe I'm just the wrong kind of person for it, or maybe it's just that I'm not used to writing things down.

      Edit: I'm coming to an interesting conclusion that many people use their version of a second brain for things they need to do. This isn't really what I was referring to, I was more looking at it as a form of journaling or personal research, which might be less common?

      33 votes
    29. Album of the Week #17: Wormrot - Voices

      This is Album of the Week #17 ~ This week's album is Wormrot - Voices Year of Release: 2016 Genre(s): Grindcore Country: Singapore Length: 26 minutes RYM | Listen! (Album.Link) Excerpt from Angry...

      This is Album of the Week #17 ~ This week's album is Wormrot - Voices

      Year of Release: 2016
      Genre(s): Grindcore
      Country: Singapore
      Length: 26 minutes
      RYM | Listen! (Album.Link)

      Excerpt from Angry Metal Guy:

      Natural though it may be, there’s something very special about how Voices draws from outside the walls of grindcore. It’s adventurous but just sounds so… obvious. This is just the sort of thing Wormrot do: write so well, perform so tightly, that whatever they’re doing just seems inevitable. Effortless, perhaps. Voices is loud, violent, and brutal, but it also restrained, as if measured in micrograms of controlled adrenaline and delivered intravenously. Like last year’s offering from Beaten to Death, this is a unique and immensely enjoyable take on grindcore that’s a true flame-bearer of the genre and won’t be wanting for love on the year-end lists of the abrasively inclined.

      Discussion points:
      Have you heard this artist/album before? Is this your first time hearing?
      Do you enjoy this genre? Is this an album you would have chosen?
      Does this album remind you of something you've heard before?
      What were the album's strengths or weaknesses?
      Was there a standout track for you?
      How did you hear the album? Where were you? What was your setup?

      --

      Album of the week is currently chosen randomly (via random.org) from the top 5000 albums from a custom all-time RYM chart, with a 4/5 popularity weighting. The chart is recalculated weekly.
      Missed last week? It can be found here.
      Any feedback on the format is welcome ~~
      10 votes
    30. Movie of the Week #13 - Marcel The Shell With Shoes On

      Fourth movie with a running time of 100 minutes or less is Marcel The Shell With Shoes On (90 minutes) from 2021 IMDb Letterboxd Wikipedia Feel free to add any thoughts, opinions, reflections,...

      Fourth movie with a running time of 100 minutes or less is Marcel The Shell With Shoes On (90 minutes) from 2021

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Feel free to add any thoughts, opinions, reflections, analysis or whatever comments related to this film.


      The final movie for January is next Monday on the 29th with The Iron Giant

      14 votes
    31. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here. Please just try to provide fair warning of...

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      8 votes
    32. I donated blood for the first time!

      Follow-up to this post (Summary: previously ineligible to give due to US FDA rules aimed at gay/bi men which were changed last year, then subsequently ineligible due to anemia which was resolved...

      Follow-up to this post
      (Summary: previously ineligible to give due to US FDA rules aimed at gay/bi men which were changed last year, then subsequently ineligible due to anemia which was resolved with an iron supplement)


      I gave my first ever pint of blood this weekend!

      The appointment went fine. I was a little nervous about the needle going into my arm, but I barely felt it. Taking the bandage off afterwards hurt way more! Even the finger prick at the beginning was worse. The actual blood donation part of the whole thing was painless and effortless.

      I had no idea that the machine rocks your blood bag back and forth while it’s filling. As I sat there killing time during the donation, I watched my blood in its little cradle. It felt cute in a weird way?

      Once my donation is processed, I’ll finally learn my blood type. My husband and I plan to start doing this regularly. There’s a donation center near(ish) us that’s easy to get to, and the staff were great. I might even try a platelet donation eventually, though that one intimidates me a bit. The idea of 2-3 hours with no use of either of my arms makes me nervous.

      Anyway, I know donating blood is not a huge deal or anything, but I wanted to share a little mini-milestone of mine. As a gay guy, I spent a big portion of my life assuming I’d never be able to donate blood, so it feels really cool to finally get to do it!

      28 votes
    33. How much does a creator's worldview influence whether you use their tech or consume their media?

      Watching the drama around kagi unfold and it has me wondering how much you take into consideration a creator's view on things like homophobia, sexism, racism, etc. when deciding to use a product....

      Watching the drama around kagi unfold and it has me wondering how much you take into consideration a creator's view on things like homophobia, sexism, racism, etc. when deciding to use a product. I think most of us have a bar somewhere (I would imagine very few on this website would ever consider registering on an altright platform), so where is that bar for you? What about art? Have you boycotted JKR or dropped your opinion about Picasso because they're transphobic and misogynistic respectively? Is it about the general vibe of a product or piece of media, or are you more discerning? What goes into this decision and why?

      48 votes
    34. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like capitalism, society and company culture. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like capitalism, society and company culture. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was mystified.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      15 votes
    35. How do/did you survive post-war social disarray and unreliable/non-existent supply chains?

      This started as a post on asking about how long you think you could survive a massive supply chain disruption and associated collapse of authorities ability to intervene. But the more I thought...

      This started as a post on asking about how long you think you could survive a massive supply chain disruption and associated collapse of authorities ability to intervene.

      But the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to paint a picture of a postwar context. Post-Yugoslavian War, post-Korean War, etc. Also, I don’t know if we’ve had any recent memories of sudden, total plunges into anarchy.

      I wonder if the modern economy has lengthened the farm-to-table too much that no one could reasonably expect to sustain themselves for any longer than they have food in storage.

      What strategies would you use/did you use to survive? Did society break down into roving gangs? If such a thing happened now, do you feel like you could weather the storm?

      You can thank my being snowed in the last few days and watching World War Z, The Last of Us, Book of Elijah, Elysium, the Alone TV series and the Band of Brothers for inspiring this post.

      19 votes
    36. Movie of the Week #12 - City Lights

      We got our first silent movie (almost) with Charlie Chaplin's City Lights from 1931. IMDb Letterboxd Wikipedia How familiar are you with silent films and Charlie Chaplin? Is a movie that is more...

      We got our first silent movie (almost) with Charlie Chaplin's City Lights from 1931.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      How familiar are you with silent films and Charlie Chaplin? Is a movie that is more than 90 years old still worth watching today? Feel free to add any thoughts, opinions, reflections, analysis or whatever comments related to this film.


      Rest of the schedule for January is:

      • 22nd: Marcel The Shell With Shoes On
      • 29th: The Iron Giant
      6 votes
    37. Why don't we help each other?

      There was a brief mention of the Amish and their self-sufficiency in the Capitalism topic that got me thinking, so I thought that I'd share my thoughts and start another discussion. My...

      There was a brief mention of the Amish and their self-sufficiency in the Capitalism topic that got me thinking, so I thought that I'd share my thoughts and start another discussion.

      My understanding of the Amish way of life - as someone who is probably thousands of miles away from them - is that they are not really self-sufficient insomuch as they are insular. They don't like to rely on the government, but they heavily rely on their community.

      A lot of us here are leftists - some might even go so far as to call themselves socialists or communists. But for the most part we are advocating for government to provide support, and often it's the federal government rather than their local governments. For those of you who do, my question for you is this: why aren't you trying to help out the locals. And I don't just mean your city, I mean your neighborhood or even just your block.

      I'm not talking about things like homeless shelters or nonprofits, I'm talking about mutual aid societies. People are complex; they don't just need things, they need people. They need assurance, motivation, and love. These are things that the government does not provide. The US Surgeon General state we are having a lonliness epidemic right now, and that it's majorly affecting people's health. We've had conversations about the lack of a third place but an even bigger problem is the death of our community hubs. It might be a good thing that people are getting less religious, but losing the church was a much bigger hit than people give credit.

      We've had many comments in the past deriding "slacktivism". When you throw your voice into the void, you have no real power. But if you put your voice into your town hall, you have tremendous power. Giving money to the government is like having one billionth of a difference to a great many people, but helping out a person in your community is a huge impact in their life which might be the one thing they need to stop them from falling off a cliff. I don't think you'll find anything more socially gratifying.

      I titled this "why don't you", but I'm also very much interested in hearing from people who do community work why they do and how they manage to fit it into their lives.

      72 votes
    38. Album of the Week #16: Coil - Love's Secret Domain

      This is Album of the Week #16 ~ This week's album is Coil - Love's Secret Domain Year of Release: 1991 Genre(s): Industrial Country: United Kingdom Length: 61 minutes RYM | Listen! (Album.Link)...

      This is Album of the Week #16 ~ This week's album is Coil - Love's Secret Domain

      Year of Release: 1991
      Genre(s): Industrial
      Country: United Kingdom
      Length: 61 minutes
      RYM | Listen! (Album.Link)

      Excerpt from The Quietus:

      ... the combined musical impact of Love's Secret Domain remains undiminished: a sonic world erupting with mind-spinning ingenuity, that beneath its surface strangeness, holds more hooks and grooves than a Cenobite's playroom. As always with Coil, however, Love's Secret Domain is about more than music; it's an exploration of what it meant, in 1991, to be a deeply inquisitive consciousness, all channels on, all bandwidths open, trapped in a human body and surrounded by the joy, anger and madness of existence. It's a palimpsest of an incredibly potent time for London's underground cultures, a mindmap of spaces, now largely lost ...

      Discussion points:
      Have you heard this artist/album before? Is this your first time hearing?
      Do you enjoy this genre? Is this an album you would have chosen?
      Does this album remind you of something you've heard before?
      What were the album's strengths or weaknesses?
      Was there a standout track for you?
      How did you hear the album? Where were you? What was your setup?

      --

      Album of the week is currently chosen randomly (via random.org) from the top 5000 albums from a custom all-time RYM chart, with a 4/5 popularity weighting. The chart is recalculated weekly.
      Missed last week? It can be found here.
      Any feedback on the format is welcome ~~
      7 votes
    39. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here. Please just try to provide fair warning of...

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      10 votes
    40. Most essential assets for maps?

      So a recurring thing that's come up when discussing ideas for games with friends, or just thinking about ideas: what are the most absolutely essential graphical assets for building a world?...

      So a recurring thing that's come up when discussing ideas for games with friends, or just thinking about ideas: what are the most absolutely essential graphical assets for building a world?

      Obviously, the answer will vary heavily for each game, but for some types of settings, the basic "starter set" is pretty universal. For example, nearly all house interiors will have a bed, at least one type of table (almost always dining), and at least one type of chair that goes with the table. After those crucial basics usually they'll also have some sort of shelf, a dresser, and kitchen counters and a fridge. Outdoor tilesets in 2D pixel art games typically need grass or other ground tiles, path tiles, water tiles, at least one type of tree, and at least one type of rock. From that point, you can expand to include things like fences, buildings, benches, lampposts, etc.

      Trying to figure out a full list of assets needed for any game can be daunting, so I figure I'd ask for input on what you consider the most vital for various types of settings. Starting with the absolute barest necessities for building a basic map (so you can at least plot basic layouts and try to get a sense of the art direction), followed by the most commonly featured items. Could be for individual rooms, specific buildings (like gas stations or restaurants), or specific types of areas (jungles, farms, beaches, etc.).

      Side-note: yes, I know you can use placeholder assets. But it's also helpful to just have a general list of what basic items are needed for reference.

      7 votes
    41. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like faa, menslib and linux. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was taking notes....

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like faa, menslib and linux. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was taking notes.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      8 votes
    42. Is fandom.com actually getting worse?

      I have been a frequent visitor of the various websites that are now under the Fandom.com umbrella, going back to when it was called Wikia. And if there's one thing that's been a consistent...

      I have been a frequent visitor of the various websites that are now under the Fandom.com umbrella, going back to when it was called Wikia. And if there's one thing that's been a consistent irritation with the platform, it's just how intrusive and annoying the advertising is. (For a sense of how long this has been a problem, see here.)

      But worse than the intrusiveness of the sites' ads, their biggest problem is their performance. They can bring Firefox to a crawl.

      For a while, it seemed like Fandom had been making some improvements. I could visit, say, Memory Alpha without the CPU on my computer spiking like crazy. But I just tried to look something up on the Forgotten Realms Wiki and, good god, it was terrible.

      (And before anyone says anything, no, I have no intention of using an ad blocker to deal with it.)

      Am I imagining it or is the platform actually getting worse again?

      57 votes
    43. Movie of the Week #10 - Four Rooms

      We begin the new year with a movie that takes place on new year's eve with Four Rooms from 1995. Written and directed by four direcors - Allison Anders, Alexandre Rockwell, Robert Rodriguez and...

      We begin the new year with a movie that takes place on new year's eve with Four Rooms from 1995. Written and directed by four direcors - Allison Anders, Alexandre Rockwell, Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      How was the movie as a whole? Were there any of the four segments that you particularly liked - or hated?


      Rest of schedule for January is:

      • 8th: Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
      • 15th: City Lights
      • 22nd: Marcel The Shell With Shoes On
      • 29th: The Iron Giant
      8 votes
    44. Album of the Week #15: Mew - Frengers

      This is Album of the Week #15 ~ This week's album is Mew - Frengers Year of Release: 2003 Genre(s): Dream Pop Country: Denmark Length: 48 minutes RYM | Listen! (Album.Link) Excerpt from Drowned In...

      This is Album of the Week #15 ~ This week's album is Mew - Frengers

      Year of Release: 2003
      Genre(s): Dream Pop
      Country: Denmark
      Length: 48 minutes
      RYM | Listen! (Album.Link)

      Excerpt from Drowned In Sound:

      On the cherub face of it this album is a soaring, triangle tapping, kitten cuddling, debut; Mew have playground innocence down - lunchbox in hand, toothpaste on tie and scabby knees, all set for a day of holding hands with the pigtailed girl. Mew could market this to my 6-year old cousin to dance around to whilst munching her Sugar Puffs, and they'd sell a billion. Pop is Universal... aaaaaaah, that's the cookie, that's what everyone has forgotten!

      Discussion points:
      Have you heard this artist/album before? Is this your first time hearing?
      Do you enjoy this genre? Is this an album you would have chosen?
      Does this album remind you of something you've heard before?
      What were the album's strengths or weaknesses?
      Was there a standout track for you?
      How did you hear the album? Where were you? What was your setup?

      --

      Album of the week is currently chosen randomly (via random.org) from the top 5000 albums from a custom all-time RYM chart, with a 4/5 popularity weighting. The chart is recalculated weekly.
      Missed last week? It can be found here.
      Any feedback on the format is welcome ~~
      8 votes
    45. Tildes Video Thread

      Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you. It...

      Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you.

      It could be one quirky video that you feel deserves some eyeballs on it, or perhaps you've got a curated list of videos that you'd love to talk us through...

      Share some of the best video content you've watched this past week/fortnight with us!

      11 votes
    46. What is there to do anymore?

      I’ve noticed that when I’m not at work, I’m at the house and even when I think of going out, I can’t think of anything to do. I enjoy going to the movies, but that’s pretty much the only getting...

      I’ve noticed that when I’m not at work, I’m at the house and even when I think of going out, I can’t think of anything to do.

      I enjoy going to the movies, but that’s pretty much the only getting out I do. When I hang out with friends, it’s typically to bars, but I’m feeling unfulfilled drinking to drink.

      What is there to do?

      57 votes
    47. Movie of the Week #11 - Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

      Next movie with a running time of less than 100 minutes is Planes, Trains, and Automobiles directed by John Hughes from 1987. IMDb Letterboxd Wikipedia Is this movie a Thanksgiving tradition for...

      Next movie with a running time of less than 100 minutes is Planes, Trains, and Automobiles directed by John Hughes from 1987.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Is this movie a Thanksgiving tradition for you? How did you find the humor in this movie? Still funny or dated? How does it compare to other John Hughes movies? Feel free to add any thoughts, opinions, reflections, analysis or whatever comments related to this film.


      Rest of the schedule for January is:

      • 15th: City Lights
      • 22nd: Marcel The Shell With Shoes On
      • 29th: The Iron Giant
      6 votes
    48. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like fathers, ux and tom scott. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was paying...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like fathers, ux and tom scott. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was paying attention.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      13 votes