• Activity
  • Votes
  • Comments
  • New
  • All activity
    1. Where does your username come from? (Following up on last year's thread)

      We had a fun thread last year about what came to mind when other people's usernames come up. It ended up turning into a cool little online intro of the history of your username, if you have one....

      We had a fun thread last year about what came to mind when other people's usernames come up.

      It ended up turning into a cool little online intro of the history of your username, if you have one. There are so many usernames I don't recognise now that I'm back with a steady internet connection after a long time away.

      Mine is boring sorry - I switch usernames every 12 months or so for the illusion of control regarding anonymity. My main username used to be Iain M. Banks' Culture series related, so I do miss meeting fellow Culture fans, but this year it's just from a random number generator.

      Does your username have an interesting backstory? I recently learned that @chocobean wasn't a chocolate bean, and @cfabbro wasn't a Computational Fabrication Bro, I'm sure there are plenty of others out there.

      29 votes
    2. How well do you cook?

      I've been thinking about this over the past few weeks after chatting with some of my friends about this. For some framing: I grew up with my parents not encouraging me to learn to cook and my Mom...

      I've been thinking about this over the past few weeks after chatting with some of my friends about this.

      For some framing:
      I grew up with my parents not encouraging me to learn to cook and my Mom actively refusing to have myself or my brother in the kitchen because we always "made a mess". Before I moved out to university I'd only ever cooked a couple of meals beyond warming things up or instant ramen + grilling meat. I also learned how to carve a turkey/bird because that would be expected of me at a family gathering later on. At university we had the mandatory freshman meal plan my first year and I lived in my fraternity for three years where we had a cook at our house when school was in session.

      It wasn't until I moved in with my girlfriend, now wife, where I started cooking. Learning from either recipes, or watching my wife cook things and asking her how she prepared a dish so I could try to make it. Nowadays I like cooking breakfast foods especially on the weekend when I don't have to get my oldest off to school and have more time since my wife doesn't like to wake up early.

      When chatting with my guy friends who are around my age (late 20s/early 30s) I've found a lot of them don't cook much or say they don't know how. Many of them eat out regularly/order delivery or buy instant meals.

      Knowing my parents, if I had had a sister growing up she would have been encouraged to learn to cook unlike my brother and I. My wife and her siblings all learned through helping my mother in law prepare food in the kitchen.

      This got me curious for a wider perspective on this from other men:

      Do you "know" how to cook or are you comfortable cooking for yourself, for others?
      Were you encouraged to learn how to cook growing up or did you learn as an adult?
      Do you have any favorite or signature dishes you prepare?

      13 votes
    3. How do I trick my brain into accepting eating less?

      For example, last night I had some bagels and coffee, went to the gym, and had some oranges at home. I felt perfectly full and didn't need to eat, but even on melatonin my brain wouldn't let me...

      For example, last night I had some bagels and coffee, went to the gym, and had some oranges at home. I felt perfectly full and didn't need to eat, but even on melatonin my brain wouldn't let me sleep, even until 2am, until I broke down and fried something on the stove so I got the worst outcome in terms of diet. My subconscious is implacably against any kind of change or improvement and insists I need to compensate for any exercise whatsoever by eating more, even though frankly fifteen minutes on a treadmill and fifteen doing leg presses and biceps were unlikely to have burned more than a potato's worth of calories.

      26 votes
    4. I was brusque with my family today

      Most of my family members (notably everyone in the older generation) are variously xenophobic (very), transphobic (plenty) and racist (enough). They're openly right wing populist party voters. In...

      Most of my family members (notably everyone in the older generation) are variously xenophobic (very), transphobic (plenty) and racist (enough). They're openly right wing populist party voters. In family gatherings, or even in online messaging, I normally ignore them or try to divert the conversation away from their stupid political takes - even the ones who know I am pansexual are likely to say some nasty shit, showing (I believe) that they don't have a drop of respect for me or my gay brother. There is nothing I can ever convince them of, political or not, because (I believe) they will always treat my arguments with disdain, regardless of any reason or evidence. I don't think much better of their politics myself, since I find most of their constant complaining about entire classes of people they've never even interacted with incredibly tiresome, not to mention wholly inconsistent with their supposed christian values (I know, this situation sounds very american, even though I am not.)

      I personally believe there is some value in some, but not all, arguments that are for restricting or reorganizing immigration at this time, mainly due to problems stemming from years of lazy policymaking, and in some right wing fiscal policy (we have some extremely expensive and inefficient government programmes right now - NOT health or education - and misguided protectionism of certain huge and mismanaged private companies), so we can usually meet on that common ground.

      Today at a gathering an aunt decided out of the blue to loudly proclaim how happy she was that Donald Trump was elected in the US. Other relatives quickly agreed, after which they started a conversation about how a Trump presidency will be good for the economy. At this point I will just politely say I didn't understand what they were talking about (my thoughts weren't as kind at the time); we are not americans, and I have the notion that Trump is an isolationist who admires dictators and despises the EU and doesn't value us as allies; I am led to believe he wants to do things with regard to defense, tariffs, etc. that are unambiguously bad for us and will directly translate into a harder life and more danger for Europeans over the next few years.

      A younger relative then said he was happy that we finally had "an insane dictator" on "our side". According to him, none of the crazy authoritarians in the world respected a man like Biden, but they were wary of Trump, since Trump is unpredictable. I remember hearing this argument eight years ago, but I'm not so sure of this. Historically, as I said, Trump seems to me to fawn over strongmen and demagogues leading other nations, while he hasn't exactly conveyed that he is "on our side". As far as I know, he's been suspiciously an enabler of Vladimir Putin, for instance.

      So at this point I explained to my family that we weren't there to discuss politics and the politics conversation was to end immediately or I was going to start insulting people.

      I'd like you all to tell me if I'm in the wrong here. Am I out of touch? Can you explain my family's perspective to me in a way that makes them sound less insane? This isn't some kind of bait. Just because I don't like Donald Trump (and neither do the majority of people in this community, AFAIK), I pride myself in being a fairly rational person. I can be convinced of things, as long as there's rationally constructed argument underpinning them. Maybe there's some value to their position?

      6 votes
    5. TV Tuesdays Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      10 votes
    6. Tips for increasing online privacy (without going insane)?

      I've been researching internet privacy and fell down the rabbit hole of...well, internet privacy. I started with deleting Facebook/Instagram and switching to fire fox + plugins. I would like to...

      I've been researching internet privacy and fell down the rabbit hole of...well, internet privacy. I started with deleting Facebook/Instagram and switching to fire fox + plugins. I would like to make more improvements but I really have no idea how, it started with deleting socials and next thing you know I'm looking at LineageOS and de-googling.

      If anyone has any suggestions on where to go next while staying realistic/not going crazy, i would love to hear them. I am not really sure where to set my expectations, basically I would like to have more control of my data. The other day Google photos gave me a memory recap which kind of creeped me out! I am suddenly not fond of whatever is going on under the surface of Google photos that's making collages and trying to sell my photo books. Also g-board giving me a pop up in the text prediction row asking me to rate the app??? Ew.

      I am a fan of self hosting and run a small NAS (open media vault) but this too quickly turns into the privacy spiral and leaves me thinking I should throw my phone into a river and live in the forest. Would love to hear your thoughts/advice/opinions!

      41 votes
    7. What is the process for adult ADHD diagnosis?

      Every time I find myself in an ADHD related thread on the internets, I feel like I'm seeing my personal struggles being described by others (Anxiety, Depression, executive function issues... the...

      Every time I find myself in an ADHD related thread on the internets, I feel like I'm seeing my personal struggles being described by others (Anxiety, Depression, executive function issues... the list goes on).

      My intermittent attempts to seek out a diagnosis (or rule it out) end quickly with all the utter shite noise in the search results (literally everyone is selling something).

      I'm hoping some of you who've been down this road can shed some light. Should I just schedule and appointment with my GP and start a conversation or???

      Thanks (hope I got this in the right sub-tilde)

      25 votes
    8. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      12 votes
    9. November 2024 Backlog Burner: Week 3 Discussion

      Week 3 has begun! Post your current bingo cards. Continue updating us on your games! If you did not participate in Week 1 but want to start this week, that's fine! Reminder: playing bingo is...

      Week 3 has begun!

      Post your current bingo cards.
      Continue updating us on your games!

      If you did not participate in Week 1 but want to start this week, that's fine!
      Reminder: playing bingo is OPTIONAL.

      Quick links:


      Week 2 Recap

      14 participants played 13 bingo cards and moved 36 games out of their backlogs!
      There were 0 bingo wins.

      • 6 people played Flow bingo cards
      • 7 people played Flux bingo cards
      • 1 person played free choice

      Thus far, a total of 53 games have been played for the November 2024 Backlog Burner.

      Week 2 Game List:

      Week 1 Recap

      11 participants played 10 bingo cards and moved 17 games out of their backlogs!
      There were 0 bingo wins.

      • 6 people played Flow bingo cards
      • 4 people played Flux bingo cards
      • 1 person played free choice

      Game list:

      9 votes
    10. Daily driving linux (Fedora KDE) - My experiences after a week

      I thought I would share my thoughts and experiences daily driving Linux (Fedora KDE Plasma) for the past week. Why did I switch from Windows to Linux? My plan was to switch to Linux once Windows...

      I thought I would share my thoughts and experiences daily driving Linux (Fedora KDE Plasma) for the past week.

      Why did I switch from Windows to Linux?

      My plan was to switch to Linux once Windows 10 hit EoL in Fall 2025. This was due to my computer not supporting Windows 11. This past September, my computer broke (probably MoBo), and so I swapped out my CPU and MoBo, which probably can support Windows 11. However, this hardware swap unactivated my Windows, Microsoft support was not helpful, and I am not a fan of the direction Windows is heading in (removing local accounts, Recall, and a general vibe I get from Microsoft of removing control from end users). So, I decided to make the jump to Linux a year sooner than expected.

      My Previous Experience with Linux

      So I would say I am moderately experienced with Linux before this. Personally, I have setup a Proxmox server, in which I setup an openmediavault NAS, and played around with various desktop distros for personal curiosity. I also switched my old laptop over to Linux a few years back, but had very low requirements of the tasks that laptop had to perform. I also took a post secondary class on Linux, primarily covering system administration tasks like BASH/PERL scripting, Apache server admin, LDAP, and file sharing all using Ubuntu. So going into this I had a moderate amount of experience, all within Debian based distros. The bigger change with switching my desktop is that it is my primary computer, so the expectations of what it needed to run was higher.

      Why I chose Fedora KDE Plasma

      I did a post about a month ago asking for recommendations to look into: https://tildes.net/~tech/1ji6/switching_to_linux_looking_for_distro_recommendations
      I settled on Fedora KDE Plasma for a few reasons:

      • I appreciate the philosophy of not being rolling release like Arch, but also a quicker release cycle than Ubuntu and its forks. I felt this was a good middle ground where I get newer advances without dealing with stuff breaking frequently when there was a new update.
      • It can handle most tasks graphically, without having to dig into the console often (more on this later).
      • I appreciate the Windows-esque styling of KDE Plasma. I got used to Windows so didn't want a radical shake up. However, it feels to me like a better version of Windows (or maybe just not touch screen oriented and ad bloated).

      Headaches/glitches

      Some of these are ongoing, while others were issues that I have worked through

      • FIXED: Installing nvidia drivers via RPM Fusion. Before installing drivers, the computer was unstable and frequently froze. I ended up just loading a command line only interface and manually typing in the commands to install RPM Fusion and the nvidia drivers. I was planning on installing it via command line anyway, so the main headache here was typing it out instead of copy and pasting the commands in. I also had an issue where I initially installed the wrong drivers.
      • ONGOING/INFREQUENT: Occasionally when I wake the computer from sleep, at the lock screen, my mouse is responsive, but my keyboard is not. Also, selecting the virtual keyboard does not work, as the virtual keyboard does not load. I tried waiting for the computer to go back to sleep, and then wake it from sleep to see if it reloads things properly. The computer does not go to sleep normally, so the solution right now is to just shut down the computer and then it is solved.
      • FIXED: Steam launched games not closing properly. Specifically Far Cry 5, which runs properly, when I exit the game, the process does not fully close down. From my perspective, it seems like it has, but Steam indicates that it is still running. The solution is to go into System Monitor and close down the Steam application with high resource usage, as that is actually the game still running in the background.
      • ONGOING/INFREQUENT/PARTIALLY FIXED: When I wake the computer from sleep, and login, there is a large amount of visual glitches and artifacts on my desktop environment. It is both in applications and especially on the Panel. The current solution is to run the command systemctl restart --user plasma-plasmashell which drastically improves the situation, but the glitches are still partially there. This has just started last night, so probably a computer restart may solve the problem, but I am trying to avoid having to constantly restart the computer.
      • FIXED: As Far Cry 5 was a brand new game, when launching it from Steam for the first time, Ubisoft's software wanted me to enter a CD Key, but Steam was not giving me one. Thinking this was a Linux related issue, I switched to my Windows install, and had the same issue. Turns out it is a Ubisoft bug in their software that also impacted Windows. I found a solution online on how to solve it for Windows, did that and authenticated the game. Then I switched over to Linux and the game ran well.
      • FIXED: KDE Wallet Service was doing an excessive amount of prompts. I uninstalled the software, but the prompts continued. Turns out it needs to be disabled before being uninstalled, or the prompts continue. So I had to reinstall it, disable it, then uninstall it. Annoying but minor and it is fixed now.
      • ONGOING/INFREQUENT/PARTIALLY SOLVED: When waking from sleep, sometimes my background image on my primary display does not fully cover the desktop. This is most likely due to my primary display being 1920x1080, and my secondary display being 1600x900, so the image is not being scaled independently for both displays. The solution right now is to open the settings to change background, and load any image, but not save changes, as this causes my original image to be reloaded properly

      Installing/Running Applications

      I have been primarily using Flatpaks to install applications. Overall it has been a smooth process. One pain point I have is it seems that the Minecraft Official Launcher for non-Debian systems is kind of clunky requiring me to login to my Microsoft account every time I open the game. This will probably be solved by switching to a third party launcher in the near future. The one software that I haven't gotten around to installing yet is DaVinci Resolve.

      What Surprised Me so Far?

      There are a few things that have been a pleasant surprise:

      • I use the console more than I expected going into it. For flatpaks, I tend to just copy and paste the commands into console. RPM Fusion also had a GUI based install option but I preferred the console option instead. I also have VIM installed, and use that as my digital notepad, just doing simple console commands of vi fileName in my home directory. I was not expecting to use the console as much as I have been, and I think that is partially due to now being more experienced with it, I gravitate towards using the console which I know how to use instead of learning how to do some tasks via a GUI..
      • Most things are running better than expected. I haven't touched many games yet, but I haven't had an issue with it yet. It is worth noting that I do not play competitive shooters, so anti-cheat is not something I will have to fight with.
      • Libre Office can open my .docx files. I was concerned I may have to convert my existing files to .odt before I can use them, but that does not appear to be the case. I will probably use .odt for new files going forward. It is also worth noting that I haven't worked extensively with my .docx files yet, so there may be some incompatibilities I have yet to encounter.

      Overall Thoughts:

      Overall I have quite enjoyed running Linux. It does require some tinkering as glitches appear, which currently I am fine with. If I had less free time to tinker and solve the issues, I would probably find Linux to be less viable and more frustrating. Also, most of my glitches can be solved by restarting the computer, although I am trying to find solutions that do not require that. I find it allows me to use the computer and change it to how I want it to be, which I have felt like Windows has gotten increasingly hostile towards the user. A good comparison on this is how the default applications that KDE has included are easy to remove, whereas Windows used to (not sure if it still does) reinstall Microsoft Teams when you uninstalled it.

      Edits:

      • Added the glitch with background image
      • Added more information on my background with Linux, including using it on my laptop
      28 votes
    11. Unable to feel progress, lack of happiness and not finding motivation to keep investing

      Hey Tildes, Recently I picked up WoW again and I've felt a rush and focus I haven't felt for a while. I can play the game for an entire day. I feel nothing but guilt doing so. The one thing that...

      Hey Tildes,

      Recently I picked up WoW again and I've felt a rush and focus I haven't felt for a while. I can play the game for an entire day. I feel nothing but guilt doing so. The one thing that gives me joy feels like something I'm not allowed to do at this stage of my life; I'm 35.

      I'm in grouptherapy until march next year but I feel I'm not making any sensible progress. Others around me seem to open and loosen up, finding tangible changes that help their lives. Meanwhile I just keep resenting myself, dread doing anything that might even cost effort.

      I feel I'm a fraud, a selfless good-for-nothing profiteer who blames anything but me. It fuels my self-hatred and my wish to self-isolate and act in self-destructive behavior. I also notice a growing bitterness as I get older.

      26 votes
    12. What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga)

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was...

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

      If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

      6 votes
    13. November 2024 Backlog Burner: Week 2 Discussion

      Week 2 has begun! Post your current bingo cards. Continue updating us on your games! If you did not participate in Week 1 but want to start this week, that's fine! Reminder: playing bingo is...

      Week 2 has begun!

      Post your current bingo cards.
      Continue updating us on your games!

      If you did not participate in Week 1 but want to start this week, that's fine!
      Reminder: playing bingo is OPTIONAL.

      Quick links:


      Week 1 Recap

      11 participants played 10 bingo cards and moved 17 games out of their backlogs!
      There were 0 bingo wins.

      • 6 people played Flow bingo cards
      • 4 people played Flux bingo cards
      • 1 person played free choice

      Game list:

      16 votes