Hello All!

recently moved into an apartment and happy with it for the most part and grateful to have a place to call my own.

One issue has been the sound though. I am a remote software developer and work for a company that is 3 hours ahead of me. I personally prefer getting up at 3 am my time, enjoying my breakfast with a bit of TV and then signing into work at 4 am and getting off as 12 pm.

It's a life style thanks to covid and luckily landing jobs in a part of the country that is 4 timezones ahead of me but I enjoy being able to have the rest of the day for myself.

However, this move is the first time I am living in an apartment and that means sound can penetrate to neighbors. I had assumed that given the building was cement or concrete or whatever (I just know its not wood), that sound would not be an issue, but apparently given that my living room is right next to my neighbors' bedroom, I have had repeated noise complaints that I make noise during the building quiet hours (10 pm - 7 am)

Some were understandable, I was watching a movie at 3 am on a weekend and my TV is up against the wall that is shared with my neighbor. Bought some headphones and apparently that issue has gone away, but yesterday for example, I was on a call with a colleague at around 6 am and I can admittedly be loud. What I didn't anticipate was that I can be loud enough that it carries through the walls. This amongst other things (like me walking around in my own place which actually lead my property manager to push back on my behalf and tell them that's not a legit complaint they can have and makes no sense given I don't live above them) lead to a noise complaint.

Thankfully my building manager has been nice enough about it (I think cause she can tell I am not being malicious and I do want to be considerate of my neighbor, I just really underestimated how much sound travels in this building).

But this whole thing is making me a bit off about the situation cause if my neighbor could hear me on a call with my colleague, then they can also hear me when I am doing a counseling session from home if they happened to be in their bedroom at the same time and that makes me uncomfortable.

Which is making me research ways to prevent sound from my place going to my neighbors but I am by no means an expert in this field and wondered if anyone else has had experience with sound-proofing and can give tips.

It's a rental unit so it obviously can't be something that requires renovation and I prefer a solution that doesn't involve nails but if that's best, I can always ask permission from my property manager. I also don't plan to live here longer than 4 years (I hope to buy a condo of my own as soon as Trump leaves office) so I don't want to drop too much money on this.

the two things I kept coming across were:

1. acoustic panels: not sure how invasive that is and if there's an adequate brand for people on a budget.
2. a dampening blanket: but not sure how effective that is.

the wall's dimensions are 196 inch wide and 8 feet tall. However, if their bedroom is the same size of mine, it is only 159 inch wide.

Another low cost solution is just to move my desk to the other side of my living room so it's facing the opposite wall. The distance between the two walls is 160 inches and I'd be facing the opposite direction but I get worried that they could still hear me on calls if I move the desk to the opposite wall. But I also am not expert on sound dispersion and penetration so I could be wrong :shrug:

I'm curious what your sense of nostalgia is like?

For me I think it's reasonable low. Like I look back at certain things, events and people of my past and I will think fondly of them. But I don't think about it often, and I almost never think "I miss that thing", more so that I enjoyed it at the time and I'm glad that it happened.

What about you? How do you view nostalgia? Does it bother you that things aren't the same as before? What things do you miss?

Do you have a weekly or daily routine? A preferred application?

For context, I’m an ecologist that focuses on statistics and modeling and I work in a few different ecosystems. I’ve always struggled to feel like I have a good understanding of the literature and I think there are a few main reasons.

• Quantity: It’s overwhelming. There is so. Much. Research. And there’s more literally every day that is or might be relevant.
• Sources: Relatedly, there are so many journals to try to keep up with. And certainly more that I should be keeping up with that I’m not even aware of.
• Method: I haven’t found an interface that really works for me. I end up ignoring emails with journal table of contents. Scrolling through RSS feeds on Zotero or Mendeley is awful. Going to the journal websites is even worse.
• Scheduling: I block out time in my calendar, but there’s always something else I’d rather work on. It’s hard to force myself to focus on it.
• Workflow: The exploration-exploitation trade off. If I skim through all the titles of a bunch of different journals, I end up just spending the whole time downloading papers which then sit in my Zotero library without getting read. If I stop to look in more detail, I don’t get through much of the article list.
• Retention: It’s hard to read something over and really retain it. I’ve taken notes (digitally and on paper) but that adds to the time it takes to skim titles and abstracts, which reduces the number I can cover.

One of the downsides of everything being digital is that I also find it harder to skim an article and get the gist of it. Flipping through a magazine lets you skim the titles and figures to easily get the main idea. Online, I need to read the title, click in a new tab if it seems interesting, scroll around to skim the abstract, and scroll and/or click to the figures. Flipping back and forth to the abstract or different sections is also harder.

What I’d really like is something kind of like a forum or link aggregator where I could skim titles and click an expander to view the abstract and figures.

I'll go first. I don't like to sleep in the dark, even though it's considered normal. I usually fall asleep with the lights on and either the computer/tv still on as well. This mostly came about because as a night owl, I would often just pass out and incidentally not turn the lights off. Now I've grown so accustomed to it that attempting to sleep in darkness feels strange and uncomfortable. I used to feel a bit guilty about 'wasting electricity,' but since the advent of LED lightbulbs and low-powered computers, I no longer do.

That's my quirk, what's yours?

An idea, a perception, a feeling, an understanding, a concept, a framework, a belief, a response, a decision, etc.

What were you wrong about?
What changed your perception?
What has been gained/lost from your new understanding?

Important: It takes a lot of courage and self-reflection for someone to admit when they're wrong. Please honor that in this topic.

I do not want this topic to be a place where people have their previous wrongs used against them. I want this to be a place of honest, empathetic growth rather than a score-keeping battleground. Give hugs, not hurt.

Lots of exciting leagues to follow in the world of European football. I know there's not a lot of traffic in the ~sports section of tildes, but I'm sure there are some football/soccer fans on the site. So does anyone have any interesting leagues/games to watch in the next couple of weeks as these competitions near their conclusion?

I'll list a few interesting things below that I'm keeping track of or looking forward to, but please feel free to suggest more! At the very least this can serve as a preview for anyone interested in watching some matches in the next couple of weeks but that doesn't know which ones to watch/prioritize.

• Premier League (England) - Well Liverpool just thrashed Spurs to seal the title yesterday, and the bottom three are all set in place, so the main thing to watch for here are the European spots. Newcastle, Man City, Chelsea, Forest, and Villa are all within 57-62 points with 4 games left (Forest have 5). The qualifications for European places is kind of a mess nowadays, with so many different competitions and group stages and the winners getting automatic spots, so I'm not exactly sure just how many of them will make it into the Champion's League vs the Europa League or Conference League. But best to be top of that group just to be safe. Major difference in prize money between those three competitions, so should make for some interesting final matches. Notable ones include Newcastle v Chelsea and Forest v Chelsea, plus there'll be a few games between these teams and others that don't technically have much else to play for, like Liverpool (already won the title), Arsenal (most likely finishing second, plus might be focusing on CL), and Southampton/Leicester (already relegated).

• Bundesliga (Germany) - Similar story to the PL, Bayern have all but won the title (technically there's still a chance for Leverkusen, but slim), and the real fight is for the few European places. Freiburg, Leipzig, Dortmund, Mainz, and Bremen are all at around 46-51 points with 3 games remaining, and even Frankfurt at 55 are not completely out of the fight. It's been interesting seeing Dortmund rise over the last few weeks given how low they were mid-season. Impressive turnaround from them. Too many interesting games to list, like Bremen v Leipzig, or Freiburg v Frankfurt, but I'll make sure to tune into a few of them for sure!

• Serie A (Italy) - my favorite of the bunch currently. Inter lost and Napoli won yesterday, meaning the title race is in Napoli's hands after them slipping and Inter pouncing a few weeks back. 4 games to play and they're at 74 and 71, so should definitely make for some interesting final games. Below them the European spots are heavily contested as well, with Juventus, Bologna, Roma, Fiorentina, and Lazio all with 59-62 points. Though Atalanta at 65 and Milan at 54 are still in the battle. And there are plenty of direct matchups here, like Bologna v Juventus, Roma v Fiorentina, Lazio v Juventus, Milan v Bologna, Atalanta v Roma, Fiorentina v Bologna, Roma v Milan, and a nice Inter v Lazio towards the end. Plenty of great matches to watch with teams that have a lot to win/lose.

• Primeira Liga (Portugal) - Sporting and Benfica fighting for the title. Both with 75 points and 3 games left to play, one of which will be against each other on the penultimate round which should be a hell of a match. Could and probably will be the title decider, unless they tie in which case it'll come down to the last day, which will be equally exciting. Porto and Braga also fighting for the 3rd place spot, which would be Europa League vs 4th place's Conference League.

• Ligue 1 (France) - PSG have already won (and comfortably, though hilariously they just lost for the first time in the season, meaning they won't go unbeaten as many thought they might) but the next 6 teams are all neck-and neck. Marseille, Lille, Monaco, Lyon, Nice, and Strasbourg are all at 54-58 points with 3 games left. Should be plenty of movement there in the coming few weeks. A couple of direct matches too: Lille v Marseille and Monaco vs Lyon, plus Strasbourg are still to play PSG.

• Champion's League (Europe) - Arsenal v PSG and Barcelona v Inter. Some great teams there, and the quarterfinals were (mostly) incredible match after incredible match. So hopefully the 5 games that are left don't disappoint. 3 of those teams are still up for a treble. Any predictions? My money's on Barcelona purely because of Flick and Raphinha.

• Europa League (Europe) - Spurs v Bodø/Glimt (you bet your ass I copied and pasted that), and Athletic Club v Man United. Spurs and Man United are having absolutely terrible seasons, so they're sure to be desperate to win this and salvage something. Meanwhile Bodø/Glimt (how many teams do you know of with a slash in the middle?) are in the semis despite being a small Norwegian team. Would love to see a Bodø/Glimt v Athletic Club final!

Question is as stated in the title. How did you learn to read?

I am re-listening to the great podcast, "Sold a Story" and it has prompted a lot of questions to myself, and now to others.

So, I'm curious, how did you learn to read and what do you remember about it? I am extra interested in people who have learned from "non-phonetic" languages, and also have a new curiousity about French, which I consider a language that does not match the spelling of its spoken and written words (if that makes sense, I'm sure that is my own bias there, as an English speaker).

tl;dr: Happy (?) ending

I wanted to post a short follow-up to my post last week, as things have progressed very quickly.

The most important thing I would like to say is "thanks" to everyone who chimed in with your very helpful advice, well wishes, and support. I took everything you said to heart (which is probably a risky thing to do from random internet folks, but this community is simply different).

Everything just clicked for me as I was going for a run last Friday and talking out loud to myself in a sort of stream of consciousness manner. I probably looked like a crazy person. Honestly, I don't know where the words came from, but it was all crystal clear.

I went home and asked my wife to talk "just one more time... and this time it will be different, I promise." I told her that I have come to terms with her decision and I respect it. I also asked her if my understanding of what went wrong made sense, and she said I hit the nail on the head. So I have a starting point for what I need to start working on personally.

We talked for a long time and started going through logistics. We are both on the same page about raising our son in a healthy manner. We will be doing equal shifts (week on, week off) and will find places to live relatively close to each other. We plan to remain friends and meet up regularly for our son.

On top of all of these things that happened VERY quickly on Friday, I found out that my mother fell and broke her hip on Saturday. She's got a bunch of other issues so a hip break is NOT good for her. We all packed up and hit the road to drive ~4 hours to the hospital. Mom is recovering now. It was a very surreal experience, this new form of bonding my wife went through over the weekend. We're now just friends, living together for the time being; yet still doing everything we can to help each other out.

I'm still very tired and not sleeping, and I'm CERTAIN I'm not even one step into the grieving process, but I feel better right now. I am working on moving on and moving forward. I feel as if I have stepping stones that will make me a better person AND I can work on the issues that caused all of this in the first place so I can learn how to pass that wisdom on to my son to make sure he doesn't run up against the same challenges as I did.

Again, I am sharing all of this because you all gave me some very frank, direct, and compassionate advice and support. Reading through the comments as they came in helped to keep me grounded and on track. I have archived all of the messages in my Obsidian notebook and I will read them in the future to remind myself to stay focused on self improvement. Thank you, once again.

About a year or two ago, someone recommended a phenomenal dystopian novel about people who don’t have kids and are sent to live in a luxury facility where they serve a particular function for their remaining lives. It was by a Japanese author, I believe a woman. Does anyone know the name of the book and/or the author?

Bonus question: Any other Japanese sci-fi/dystopian/magical realism book recommendations?

Examples:

• A live service game that got shut down
• A multiplayer game that no longer has a live community
• A game whose cultural relevance has faded
• An older game that doesn't stand the test of time
• A game you had spoiled for you
• A game that got updated and went in a different direction
• etc.

Let us know what it is, and why you feel that you missed out on it.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

I recently finished my 8-pack of ICE BREAKERS DUO strawberry (hard sugar-free mint) which I really liked because they don't leave a sweet/sugary aftertaste in your mouth. I was wondering what I should buy next. What's your favorite brand of mint and why?

What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

I was recently removed from medi-cal due to “potential fraud”. Long story short, I didn’t commit fraud. I have had zero income in over a year, have something like $1500 total, and receive no other benefits.

However, I’m currently dealing with bureaucratic confusion as the trail of who is responsible has dead ended and no one seems to be clear on what happened or why.

The medi-cal coordinator at the county social services office thinks it’s best if I just reapply but while I wait for my new application to be processed I am uninsured. Of course, if it goes through then I should have coverage dating back to the 1st of April.

Yet, given that there’s no good reason for it to have been canceled in the first place I’m wary of placing all my eggs in that basket. And would prefer to have some sort of catastrophe insurance if at all possible.

Is this even possible in California? It seems like short term health insurance might be banned here? Any ideas would be welcome. The whole situation is frustrating to say the least.

Alright, odd request time! We need ways for our itchy dog to scratch her itches.

We have no idea why she's so itchy besides maybe allergies. The vet suggested trying a new dog food last winter which seemed to work... But now that it's spring the itchiness is back full force, so looks like the cause is probably seasonal instead of a diet thing. (Related, at that same appointment the vet claimed she was the fifth dog they saw that day with an itch-related problem, so there may just be something environmental impacting local dogs.)

In any event, we won't be going back to the vet for a while so for now we just need solutions for her to scratch it! Right now, she uses these prickly bushes to scratch the itch. She just rubs her face and whole body against it like a cat. She also aggressively rubs her face against our carpeted stairs. However, we're moving in a couple weeks and there are no prickly bushes or carpeted stairs at our new house.

So, I'm open to any suggestions for something to use to scratch herself! Or any other solution to the itchiness really. With luck, she's just allergic to some plant in our yard and the move will clear it up (we do have a bunch of Russian sage invading it), but I'd like some ideas just in case.

If it helps, she's a sheltie. Which means a LOT of thick fur.

I’m going to bring up examples from a variety of mediums, so I couldn’t really fit this just under ~books or ~tv. Sorry about that.

Lately I’ve been thinking about just how much I love fiction with a good plot device, and I’ve been wondering what it is that makes these devices such great vehicles for telling an interesting story.

Death Note is the first example that comes to mind for me. The “plot device” (and I may not be using this term correctly) if the titular item, which is a notebook where, if one writes a name of a person, while imagining their face, along with a time and date, and then a set of realistic circumstances that lead to that person’s death, then it will occur as written. If nothing other than the name, time, and date are written, then the person dies of a heart attack (after 40 seconds, if I remember correctly). The main character was the right kind to have acquired the book, because it enabled the story to be told in the manner that it was. I think the author illustrated this well when, at the very end, another character, not nearly as intelligent as the previous owner of the Death Note, quickly got done away with.

Code Geass is probably one of my favorite animes of all time. It combines a lot of genres into one. The titular “geass”, however, particularly the one that the main character acquired—which allows him to give a one-time order to any person who looks in his eyes, which the person will see through no matter what—is also an excellent plot device.

*The Lake House, a 2006 fantasy romance film, staring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. It’s not a masterpiece or anything, but I can’t forget the whole plot device about the mailbox that allowed the male main character to send letters to the female main character two years into the past.

Dreamless is one of my favorite webcomics of all time. It’s crazy for me to think that this beautiful, entirely-colored webcomic was made available for free all the way back in 2009. I wish more people knew about it. The plot device, which is brilliant, revolves around a man and a woman who were born on the same day at the same time, but he in Japan, and she in the USA—a few years before the outbreak of WWII. From the very day of their birth, they were “connected”. Whenever they fall asleep, they begin to “see through eyes and hear through the ears of the other” until they wake up. If they both happen to be sleeping at the same time, than they see darkness but still hear surroundings. They became aware of this at very young age, learning each other’s languages and falling in love with each other since they were children. The time zone difference makes it relatively easy for them to observe each other’s lives as one sleeps and the other goes about his or her days. They embark on a quest to figure out how to meet each other, in the midst of a brutal war waged between their respective countries.

Severance is a show that everyone is talking about right now, so I don’t need to explain much to you, right? The plot device here is a chip that is implanted into people’s brains, and makes it so that their memories are split in two, based on location. At their work place, the character’s memories from the outside world are “shut off”, and they only remember what they experienced on the inside. I’m almost done with season two and this show is what prompted me to write this thread. I’ve been loving it.

Black Mirror is a show that I need to give a shoutout to, because many of its most famous episodes are centered around a very specific plot device. For me, the most impressive of these, was the one where they had these chips that basically recorded everything that they saw, and it was a normalized thing in society. I think that it was episode three. Episode eight was also interesting. It was about a society in which people’s social status was determined by their online social media rank.

I had an example in the back of my mind of a piece of fiction with a great plot device that I felt was not properly made use of. I’m sure that there are others like that, and it’s a bit sad when that happens, because there is a great idea right there, but it was wasted. I totally forgot about it though. Maybe you can think of some bad examples yourselves?

Edit: I remembered a different one, In Time, a 2011 movie about a society where people don’t age, but rather have their life spans written on a digital countdown clock on their arms. The way that people used their lifespans as currency that they could exchange was a neat idea. I didn’t watch the movie, but I read from other people about it, and it seemed to me like the concept wasn’t properly explored. Maybe I should give it a chance.

And maybe you can also think of some other good examples, plot devices in books, shows, movies, manga, anime that really blew you away. I’d be curious to hear about them because I’d like to look into them if it’s something that catches my interest.

As for what makes a plot device interesting for me, here are some points:

• It is a concept that is easy to grasp or an object the functions of which are easy to understand.
• It has strict limitations that the plot revolves around and the characters repeatedly run up against. These limitations are explained very early on in the story.
• The plot device and its origins gets gradually explained over the course of the piece.
• The story is largely centered around a small group of individuals.

Preface:

• Beware: long, scattered post incoming.
• I'm not having suicidal thoughts. No matter what happens, life is still worth living.

I'm spiraling right now. I'm so confused and lost that I need to just put this out there, somewhere, anywhere. Here goes:

I've been happily married for coming up on 8 years next week. Our relationship has always been strong, we've always considered each other best friends, and I've always felt that our love was built on a rock-solid foundation.

Lately, my wife has been acting very distant. Enough so that it started ringing some alarm bells in my head. I took a personal inventory of several of the "disconnected" events and sat down with her last week to ask if we were okay. Her response was indifference. After a bit of a pause, I asked her if she still loved me, to which she responded "I don't know." Of course a lot more was said, but the summary is that I was completely floored and she was emotionless and indifferent.

I asked one thing: that we would set up marriage counseling sessions. She agreed. Our initial individual sessions start next week.

Since then, I've spent every single moment trying to examine myself and my flaws, where I've damaged our relationship in the past, and what I can do in the future to be a better person for her.

On Monday, I actually had some massive discoveries about myself, and blindspots in my emotional maturity. I discovered one little thing, which led to two or three more. By the end of this very exciting and motivating self-reflection session, I was PUMPED UP! For once in years, I felt like I've discovered this whole new region of growth in my brain.

I also had a session with my therapist that same day, in which I shared the recent events and my bout of epiphanies. She mentioned that "sometimes it takes a major life event to get people out of a rut and start a growth journey." I left the session feeling really good, really motivated, like there is a whole new and great future ahead of me and us.

I also came to a realizations about how I've hurt her in the past. The long and the short of it is that I'm terrible about empathizing and listening to feelings, and my insecurities put me into a defensive mode rather than a supportive, listening, partner mode.

A week later, and I'm still buzzing, reflecting, discovering more emotional epiphanies, and REALLY looking forward to marriage counseling. However, I've also forced myself to keep all of this to myself and just start showing that I am growing by taking actions. It hasn't been the time to share any of this with her, especially because I've said a lot of words in the past about changing that never seemed to materialize. I knew that the right time would come.

And then, last night happened.

"I had a session with my therapist today. I've made the decision that we need to divorce."

Commence spiraling.

The first thing I said was: "Please, I'm begging you, go through the marriage counseling sessions with me."

She said "I will go to marriage counseling, but I'm only doing this for you."

I then decided to share with her all of the personal discoveries I've made and the growth journey I'm embarking on, how I've realized that I hurt her in the past when she needed me most, and how I'm committed to growing and working on myself and our relationship because I love her and I made that vow to her when we married. I told her that I realized finally what this heavy feeling in my heart is: it is the physical manifestation of love, and I know that because it hurts so much, and if it wouldn't hurt if there wasn't love.

She said she went through a similar process of pain and grieving last year (there's some really deep and heavy stuff that went down, in short, she discovered that her father was not her biological father; she started the journey of meeting her new family and my response at the time came from insecurity and jealousy). She said that she was done processing those emotions and that she has moved on and is focusing on herself and our 3 year old son.

She said that she loves me and cares about me, she even held me and hugged me. But that made it hurt even more. I feel like I am being led on.

I went for a walk to clear my head, and when I got home, she asked if I was okay, and I said "No. But I'm treating this as a challenge. Your love has always come easy and I've never had to fight for it. For the first time, I am going to actually fight to earn your love."

I didn't sleep last night. I decided to go into the office this morning to knock some stuff out early so I could take a personal day. On the way out the door, I asked her to promise something to me: I said "when we go to marriage counseling, please don't do it for me. Please do it for us. We've gone through so much together, we made vows to each other when we married that we would stick together through the good and the bad. Please, let's just give it one last ditch effort." She said "Okay."

This morning, some questions have started popping into my head, uninvited: "how will custody of our 3 year old work?" "Will I be removed from his life?" "Who's going to get the house?" -- and I'm really trying to remove those thoughts from my mind right now because I don't want to even entertain the possibility at this point. These are questions I never in a million years I thought I would be asking myself.

Now I'm at a coffee shop, typing this message. I have an emergency appointment with my therapist in a few hours, although I'm not sure what that will solve at this point.

I am questioning the very core, foundational things I thought I knew about myself. I am confused and lost and heartbroken.

I'm also not really sure why I'm sharing this message with you all. Perhaps because it is therapeutic to type all of this out, and perhaps I trust this community.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like popes, bethesda and minimalism.digital. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was befuddled.

But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

I like crying to sappy bingeworthy tv dramas.

I've just finished Parenthood, and before that I binged a lot of hospital ones like The good doctor, New Amsterdam, etc.

The setting isn't really important, except I can't stand law enforcement settings.

Spoken language doesn't matter as long as I can find it with subtitles.

The important thing seems to be stories that are reasonably realistic where people live their lifes and care about each other.

What do you recommend?

Edit: below is a list of recommendations, mostly for me to have an easy spot to find them

• Bunheads
• Friday night lights
• March Comes In Like a Lion
• This is us
• Shitt's creek
• The crown
• Brothers and sisters
• Scrubs
• Midnight Diner
• The good place
• Virgin river
• Gilmore girls
• Dawson's creek

I would love to self-host a Tildes instance with my domain to create a community in my native language speakers. I saw, from old posts, that it is not an easy process at all. But I really love the concept and the style of Tildes. It is better than Reddit and other Fediverse platforms.
Is there anyone who managed to host Tildes instance?

I would be so glad to have some guidance.

The Issue

I'm streaming games from a desktop PC hardwired into my router (running Sunshine) to a laptop wirelessly (using Moonlight). It works beautifully.

Except, every five minutes, the stream chugs: my framerate drops precipitously, and Moonlight gives me a warning telling me I should lower my bitrate. This happens for only a few seconds, before it resolves and goes back to normal.

I timed the interval between the chugs several times and got approximately 5:07 between each slowdown. It is remarkably consistent.

Because it's so consistent, I assume there's some scheduled task or something running every five minutes that's causing it to chug. Dropping the bitrate makes the chugging less noticeable, but it still happens.

Ruling Things Out

I think it's safe to rule out the idea that it's my router or the host PC.

I have a smaller 13" laptop that I used to stream to, and I just recently bought a 17" to replace it. The five-minute issue only happens on the 17", even with identical stream settings (same resolution, FPS, and bitrate).

The computers are obviously different hardware, but they're also running two different linux distros.

The 13" Laptop is running MX Linux 23.5 (KDE). This is the one that works.

System:
  Kernel: 6.1.0-32-amd64 arch: x86_64 bits: 64 compiler: gcc v: 12.2.0
    Desktop: KDE Plasma v: 5.27.5 Distro: MX-23.5_KDE_x64 Libretto September 15
    2024 base: Debian GNU/Linux 12 (bookworm)
Machine:
  Type: Laptop System: Dell product: Latitude 7370 v: N/A
    serial: <superuser required>
  Mobo: Dell model: 0XFY7T v: A00 serial: <superuser required> UEFI: Dell
    v: 1.28.3 date: 02/07/2022
Battery:
  ID-1: BAT0 charge: 12.6 Wh (62.1%) condition: 20.3/34.0 Wh (59.6%)
    volts: 8.1 min: 7.6 model: SMP DELL WY7CG58 status: charging
CPU:
  Info: dual core model: Intel Core m5-6Y57 bits: 64 type: MT MCP
    arch: Skylake rev: 3 cache: L1: 128 KiB L2: 512 KiB L3: 4 MiB
  Speed (MHz): avg: 2496 high: 2758 min/max: 400/2800 cores: 1: 2400 2: 2758
    3: 2400 4: 2429 bogomips: 11999
  Flags: avx avx2 ht lm nx pae sse sse2 sse3 sse4_1 sse4_2 ssse3 vmx
Graphics:
  Device-1: Intel HD Graphics 515 vendor: Dell driver: i915 v: kernel
    arch: Gen-9 bus-ID: 00:02.0
  Device-2: Realtek Integrated_Webcam_HD type: USB driver: uvcvideo
    bus-ID: 1-9:5
  Display: x11 server: X.Org v: 1.21.1.7 with: Xwayland v: 22.1.9 driver: X:
    loaded: modesetting unloaded: fbdev,vesa dri: iris gpu: i915
    resolution: 1920x1080~60Hz
  API: OpenGL v: 4.6 Mesa 24.2.8-1mx23ahs renderer: Mesa Intel HD Graphics
    515 (SKL GT2) direct-render: Yes
Audio:
  Device-1: Intel Sunrise Point-LP HD Audio vendor: Dell driver: snd_hda_intel
    v: kernel bus-ID: 00:1f.3
  API: ALSA v: k6.1.0-32-amd64 status: kernel-api
  Server-1: PipeWire v: 1.0.0 status: active
Network:
  Device-1: Intel Wireless 8260 driver: iwlwifi v: kernel bus-ID: 6c:00.0
  IF: wlan0 state: up mac: <filter>
Bluetooth:
  Device-1: Intel Bluetooth wireless interface type: USB driver: btusb v: 0.8
    bus-ID: 1-2:2
  Report: hciconfig ID: hci0 rfk-id: 1 state: up address: <filter> bt-v: 2.1
    lmp-v: 4.2
RAID:
  Hardware-1: Intel 82801 Mobile SATA Controller [RAID mode] driver: ahci
    v: 3.0 bus-ID: 00:17.0
Drives:
  Local Storage: total: 238.47 GiB used: 31.99 GiB (13.4%)
  ID-1: /dev/sda vendor: Toshiba model: KSG60ZMV256G M.2 2280 256GB
    size: 238.47 GiB
Partition:
  ID-1: / size: 232.43 GiB used: 31.47 GiB (13.5%) fs: ext4 dev: /dev/dm-0
    mapped: luks-a8eaaa90-b4ba-4943-8c1d-ddace5892f40
  ID-2: /boot size: 973.4 MiB used: 524.1 MiB (53.8%) fs: ext4
    dev: /dev/sda2
  ID-3: /boot/efi size: 252 MiB used: 274 KiB (0.1%) fs: vfat dev: /dev/sda1
Swap:
  ID-1: swap-1 type: file size: 3 GiB used: 3.8 MiB (0.1%) file: /swap/swap
Sensors:
  System Temperatures: cpu: 80.0 C pch: 68.0 C mobo: 48.0 C
  Fan Speeds (RPM): N/A
Info:
  Processes: 251 Uptime: 33m Memory: 7.65 GiB used: 3.56 GiB (46.6%)
  Init: SysVinit runlevel: 5 Compilers: gcc: 12.2.0 Packages: 2789 Shell: Bash
  v: 5.2.15 inxi: 3.3.26

17 *    * * *   root    cd / && run-parts --report /etc/cron.hourly
25 6    * * *   root    test -x /usr/sbin/anacron || { cd / && run-parts --report /etc/cron.daily; }
47 6    * * 7   root    test -x /usr/sbin/anacron || { cd / && run-parts --report /etc/cron.weekly; }
52 6    1 * *   root    test -x /usr/sbin/anacron || { cd / && run-parts --report /etc/cron.monthly; }

The 17" Laptop is running Linux Mint 22.1 (Cinnamon). This is the one that has the five minute chugs.

System:
  Kernel: 6.8.0-58-generic arch: x86_64 bits: 64 compiler: gcc v: 13.3.0
  Desktop: Cinnamon v: 6.4.8 Distro: Linux Mint 22.1 Xia
    base: Ubuntu 24.04 noble
Machine:
  Type: Laptop System: Dell product: Inspiron 7773 v: N/A
    serial: <superuser required>
  Mobo: Dell model: 0R58C3 v: A00 serial: <superuser required> UEFI: Dell
    v: 1.19.0 date: 12/15/2021
Battery:
  ID-1: BAT0 charge: 34.9 Wh (97.5%) condition: 35.8/56.0 Wh (63.9%)
    volts: 16.0 min: 15.2 model: Samsung SDI DELL W7NKD7B status: discharging
CPU:
  Info: quad core model: Intel Core i7-8550U bits: 64 type: MT MCP
    arch: Coffee Lake rev: A cache: L1: 256 KiB L2: 1024 KiB L3: 8 MiB
  Speed (MHz): avg: 658 high: 867 min/max: 400/4000 cores: 1: 400 2: 800
    3: 400 4: 400 5: 800 6: 800 7: 867 8: 800 bogomips: 31999
  Flags: avx avx2 ht lm nx pae sse sse2 sse3 sse4_1 sse4_2 ssse3 vmx
Graphics:
  Device-1: Intel UHD Graphics 620 vendor: Dell driver: i915 v: kernel
    arch: Gen-9.5 bus-ID: 00:02.0
  Device-2: NVIDIA GP108M [GeForce MX150] vendor: Dell driver: nvidia
    v: 550.120 arch: Maxwell bus-ID: 01:00.0
  Device-3: Realtek Integrated_Webcam_HD driver: uvcvideo type: USB
    bus-ID: 1-5:2
  Display: x11 server: X.Org v: 21.1.11 with: Xwayland v: 23.2.6 driver: X:
    loaded: modesetting,nvidia unloaded: fbdev,nouveau,vesa dri: iris gpu: i915
    resolution: 1920x1080~60Hz
  API: EGL v: 1.5 drivers: iris,nvidia,swrast platforms:
    active: gbm,x11,surfaceless,device inactive: wayland,device-2
  API: OpenGL v: 4.6.0 compat-v: 4.5 vendor: intel mesa
    v: 24.2.8-1ubuntu1~24.04.1 glx-v: 1.4 direct-render: yes renderer: Mesa
    Intel UHD Graphics 620 (KBL GT2)
Audio:
  Device-1: Intel Sunrise Point-LP HD Audio vendor: Dell driver: snd_hda_intel
    v: kernel bus-ID: 00:1f.3
  API: ALSA v: k6.8.0-58-generic status: kernel-api
  Server-1: PipeWire v: 1.0.5 status: active
Network:
  Device-1: Intel Wireless 3165 driver: iwlwifi v: kernel bus-ID: 02:00.0
  IF: wlp2s0 state: up mac: <filter>
Bluetooth:
  Device-1: Intel Bluetooth wireless interface driver: btusb v: 0.8 type: USB
    bus-ID: 1-7:3
  Report: hciconfig ID: hci0 rfk-id: 4 state: up address: <filter> bt-v: 4.2
    lmp-v: 8
Drives:
  Local Storage: total: 238.47 GiB used: 36.5 GiB (15.3%)
  ID-1: /dev/nvme0n1 vendor: Samsung model: MZVLB256HBHQ-000H1
    size: 238.47 GiB temp: 25.9 C
Partition:
  ID-1: / size: 229.63 GiB used: 36.21 GiB (15.8%) fs: ext4 dev: /dev/dm-1
    mapped: vgmint-root
  ID-2: /boot size: 1.61 GiB used: 291.7 MiB (17.7%) fs: ext4
    dev: /dev/nvme0n1p2
  ID-3: /boot/efi size: 511 MiB used: 6.1 MiB (1.2%) fs: vfat
    dev: /dev/nvme0n1p1
Swap:
  ID-1: swap-1 type: partition size: 1.91 GiB used: 0 KiB (0.0%)
    dev: /dev/dm-2 mapped: vgmint-swap_1
Sensors:
  System Temperatures: cpu: 30.0 C pch: 32.5 C mobo: N/A
  Fan Speeds (rpm): N/A
Info:
  Memory: total: 16 GiB available: 15.36 GiB used: 1.82 GiB (11.9%)
  Processes: 338 Uptime: 2h 38m Init: systemd target: graphical (5)
  Packages: 1996 Compilers: gcc: 13.3.0 Shell: Bash v: 5.2.21 inxi: 3.3.34

17 *	* * *	root	cd / && run-parts --report /etc/cron.hourly
25 6	* * *	root	test -x /usr/sbin/anacron || { cd / && run-parts --report /etc/cron.daily; }
47 6	* * 7	root	test -x /usr/sbin/anacron || { cd / && run-parts --report /etc/cron.weekly; }
52 6	1 * *	root	test -x /usr/sbin/anacron || { cd / && run-parts --report /etc/cron.monthly; }

Help Request

Anyone have any ideas for tracking down what might be causing this? I was going to just wipe the machine and replace Linux Mint with MX Linux to rule that out, but I figured I'd ask here before doing that, especially because it could be the hardware and not the distro that's causing the issue.

To be honest I have some problems explaining what I mean, which might be why I can't find a solution or explanaition for it.

I use firefox on Linux and out of habit i highlight text while reading it. I always did that and it helps me to read a lot faster and to relax my eyes while reading. It's something i don't think i can get rid of, even if I tried, it's just so deeply burned in.
As well I use to scroll the text I'm reading to the top out of the same reasons or maybe it's just habit as well, but I realised I cannot get rid of it as well :-)

So no to my problem:
Usually this works flawless, i can highlight text and have the cursor where I'm reading in the topmost visible line. But for some strange reason this does not work in the "new" wikipedia layout. where if I highlight text in the upper third of the page it scrolls upwards quite fast which just fucks up everything and makes my day bad. (this behaviour is not present in the old design which e.g. the germand wikipedia still uses)

Is it me?
Is it my browser?
Is there a way to get rid of this, so I can keep my workflow while reading and learing on wikipedia? Is somebody else observing this behaviour?
Where can I even start to look for a solution? I don't even know what to look for.

It truly bothers me, as I'm close to every day on it, and it might be my favorite website.
I heard there is a way to switch to the old wikipedia layout, which might be a workaround. But I actually like the new Layout a lot, so if there is a way to avoid that it would be great :-)

This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you.

It could be one quirky video that you feel deserves some eyeballs on it, or perhaps you've got a curated list of videos that you'd love to talk us through...

Share some of the best video content you've watched this past week/fortnight with us!

This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

Just something I was frustrated by ever since it became increasingly common even outside of smartphones and tablets.

For a few years now I increasingly see basically any battery powered product having mostly internal accumulator options(aka proprietary battery of uncertain ability to replace), especially in more expensive items in the category. Why?

I mean do see several advantages from the business side, I simply have no idea what advantage would there be for the actual user.

I could see it if the batteries had comparable lifespan to the product, which they most definitely do not unless the item is of truly bad quality.

I'm a ball of rage over my pediatrician having to drop their contract with United due to some disagreement, as we really like our pediatrician. I kind of don't care if it's actually the office's fault at this point; I'd like to direct this anger over bullshit affecting the care my kids receive at them while I'm still motivated. It's probably not going to help, but what is the most effective way I can badger them, pester them, inundate their support lines, etc to get back?

Or, y'know, diplomatic means if it'd actually help?

Company I work for has game nights (with prizes) as team building, mostly play free games, but occasionally a paid game as well. This week's game is paid and am looking for a place where I can buy about 20 Steam keys for the game that's legitimate.

Steam will only let you gift a game if you're friends with them on Steam, which complicates things and would be a pain.

Game is Move or Die in case that matters.

Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

Last of this triple header!

Saudi Arabian Grand Prix
Jeddah Corniche Circuit
April 18-20, 2025

Qualification Session:
Saturday, April 19, 2025 - 17:00 UTC / 1:00p US EDT

Grand Prix:
Sunday, April 20 2025 - 17:00 UTC / 1:00p US EDT

See your local time here

Next race:

Miami Grand Prix
Miami International Autodrome
Sunday, May 4, 2025
Sprint Race Weekend

Hello all, are there any other rockhounders/collectors, whatever you want to call yourselves, out there?

I'm looking to hear about others' experiences, specifically in mining or surveying(not sure if that wording is correct), but really, generally, hearing of diverse experiences. Some of the coolest places you've been, where you want to go, favorite finds, rocks you lust after, equipment, etc.

Okay, I’ve been grinding through the process of replacing Windows 10 in my Twitch streaming setup with Pop!_OS. I’ve got OBS dialed in, my old NVIDIA card is holding it together surprisingly well, and video performance is right where I need it.

But the audio. Is. Destroying. Me.

It’s this horrible crunchy, crushed mess when I stream from Linux. Same exact hardware, same OBS scene setup. On Windows 10 it’s crystal clear. I’m pulling audio from my mixer and theres no “Line In” I can see. Something in the Linux chain is mangling it.

Here’s a side-by-side if you want to hear the pain:

Pop!_OS (crushed audio): https://youtu.be/wQUVlufAQs8?si=RlGH8Z90dK0X9KhA

Windows 10 (clean audio): https://youtu.be/hbJzIHzg_ek?si=ThiZpbBgTk89qL2p

Sample rates seem to match, nothing obvious is clipping. I’m out of ideas and running on pure stubbornness at this point.

Would love to hear from anyone who’s made Linux work in a similar setup. Tips, gotchas, weird fixes. Whatever you've got. I'm so close to fully escaping Windows here. Grrr.

For reference, here’s how I got my Pop!_OS setup working so far (OBS + NVIDIA NVENC + GTX 960):
https://doubledropdown.com/abdoanmes/2025/ditching-windows-setting-up-obs-with-nvidia-nvenc-on-linux-pop_os-gtx-960/

This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

Hey all - after a couple threads discussing randomizers and Archipelago, we should try to get a multiworld game going here! I'm thinking this would start the night of May 8th depending on availability and interest. If you are interested, just shoot a reply in here and let us know your planned game! I'll tag a post about a week out asking for YAML files, and I'll likely make a Discord server for the event itself so we can stream and share info.

This is a bit far into the future and I wanted to make sure the date would work for people interested, so no need to send YAMLs or anything yet. But do let me know if you'd like to join - no matter your skill level, we'd be happy to have you!

(edit: hid that bigass faq thingy)

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

I've set up a very small soapbox here. It's cute.

You can step up on it to rant, but it only supports small rants. Tiny ones. Cute ones. Rants about low-stakes, inconsequential stuff.

It can hold up the weight of approximately one oxford comma, so please don't get too heavy and crush it.

Anyone want to step on it and give us your 0.02 cents?

I like modern tech, but I'm slowly coming to hate the internet.

I read Cal Newport's Digital Minimalism late last year and found it preaching to the choir, but noticed that most of the negative effects of technology use were actually from internet use. The attention economy, privacy violations, enshittification, etc. are all mostly byproducts of the internet being so tightly integrated into our lives. When I heard about CVE potentially losing its funding (I know very litte about CS or anything related to software, so I'm unsure of how big a threat this really is to an end-user), the thought popped into my head... "is it time to get offline?".

I am 20 years old, so my entire life has been spent in a world where devices are connected to the internet far more often than not, and I wonder if it's time to switch to an "offline first" mentality? I already embrace this philosophy when it comes to music, downloading the songs I want to my computer and syncing them to my phone through iTunes, but this would take that one step further: turn on my computer's wi-fi to check emails, read through the new posts here, check some other sites, etc. and then turn it off until I explicitly need to do something online.

I'm lucky enough that most of the (important) things I do on my computer can be done 90% offline, but I wonder if it's even worth doing? I'm curious to hear thoughts on this from the people of Tildes, or any methods that you have implemented in your life.

EDIT: I should clarify: I already have basically no social media, I use beeper to see my instagram DMs (I can't really get rid of this without abandoning any age-adjacent social life) and that's it. You could call Discord and Tildes social medias, but that's maybe pushing it. I'm more talking about the recent resurgence of physical media and reframing the internet as something that is accessed rather than omnipresent in my usage habits.

Today is the final day to file taxes in the US, and once again I find myself needing to finish up submitting everything instead of having this submitted early (next year will be different!).

I've also been needing to register my youngest son for his US citizenship, as he is born abroad. They recently released a secure way to e-file this, which means my previous "reasons" for putting it off are not relevant (they wanted me to email sensitive information to them, or deliver it in person/via courier)

It made me wonder if there is anything big or small that people wanted to share that they've been putting off? Hopefully talking about it helps you take some action on getting that thing done!