I'm feeling deeply emotional today. There's a lot that's happened over the last few months - including a fair bit that I won't bring up here, outside of the relationship woes. Sorry if this rambles a lot, but I'll try and keep it organized.

For those that need background:
Struggling with my relationship
So it turns out I've been cheated on.

It's been nearly 4 months. I adjusted well to being single again. Went out and restarted hobbies I used to enjoy, took myself out on dates, and generally tried to feel like myself again. Two months after my last post, I had an opportunity to begin seeing someone new. I'm being cautious and careful and the new person is very calm, communicative, and understanding. I recognize it may be early to be seeing someone and this line of thought will be relevant later.

Things were... Copacetic? With my ex. I wasn't terribly happy but was able to move my thoughts along. I got mad at them, said angry things that didn't help, reconciled somewhat and tried to move on. We negotiated financial details a bit, and settled into summer plans. Their new partner was still around a lot, and still refused to ever even talk to me. How dare they, thought I, act like I wasn't even around? At least have the courage to say something, thought I. It irked me. I tried to find out more about this person, search for them online for anything, because they were now around my child more and more and I knew nothing. My searches were in vain, I found not a trace. They were a ghost.

I still kept contact with my ex's best friend - though that's a loose term now. They were equally exasperated and upset about the situation. Their relationship was breaking down because the new partner was - shall we say - incompatible with the best friend. Late in June, I thought to ask a question. One which I had an assumed answer for, but didn't actually know.

"Are they still married?"

The best friend answered. "Yes. It's something they don't like to talk about."

oof.

Here is where some of you will take issue with me, maybe.

That piece of the puzzle was the last thing I needed to find the new partner. I can be very determined when I set my mind to something. I discovered who they were. Their address. Their family. Their partner on Facebook. And I informed them about what was going on. I won't deny it felt good to burst their bubble of secrecy, but I also wanted this partner (let's call them J) to not be blindsided as I was. I wanted to give them the power to make their own choices and decisions with knowledge, not secrecy.

They were completely unaware of what was going on. Long story short, they had been in couples therapy for years. Were high school sweethearts. Together 25+ years. J was livid, of course. They had a family together, with several children (mostly older) involved. My ex found out what happened and blew up at me, claiming that I made a terrible choice and that what I did was wrong, and how could I go "talk to the other side"? They threatened to do what my parents had done. To fight, squabble and argue endlessly. To restrict access to the former stepkids. To limit everything I could do.

Everyone else seeing that situation insists I did the right thing - including J, who was grateful towards me. The house of cards my ex and their new partner had built was now collapsing. Things developed quickly from there. My ex turned everything into my fault. I was the villain in this story of theirs. In speaking with J recently, since after our initial conversation I gave them weeks of space to sort things out, I've learned some things about how my ex has been framing things.

The story New Partner was told was that I'm an alcoholic who abused my ex. My ex claimed that when they were drunk one night I raped them, which led to the pregnancy of our child. My ex said that I tried to force an abortion. That I didn't want our child. There's more details - such as describing the constant debt cycles as being caused by my student loans (nevermind that I haven't had student loans since before we got together) in order to explain those details away and make it all my fault. The more I learned, the more I realized what my partner was describing. It was word for word something that had happened with a prior ex of theirs. A story they'd told many others in their life. The dots are so simple to connect that they might as well be numbered.

Now I am at a juncture. I have had many other things come up this summer which leave me feeling overwhelmed. Professionally and personally. I am seeking legal counsel because claims of rape can and will impact my career and personal life. I am looking for a therapist but the process is excruciating.

In the meantime, I'm doing the best I can to put on a brave face and be there for my child, even when they show up with a shirt saying "X parent is cooler than Y parent".

But today I cried. I cried a lot. I hid it from my child because I didn't want to answer about why I was crying. I sobbed into my pillow until they came asking for pancakes and coca cola and forgive me but I provided.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

He's Canadian and he'll always have the most ridiculous source (see the post title) or the worst, goalpost-moving response ("who said that?" "how?" "well the lady said there was no impact because they just didn't get their $50M payday but they still had all the medicine." "I don't think the number is zero, but it's not what people said it would be.")

I know the easiest answer is just ignore him like most people do. But it is so infuriating when there are hundreds of thousands of people actively dying.

Found myself working a bit too hard lately, started to experience some stress from my pointless busywork white collar job. Remembered this time to wonder why am I stressed about something that doesn't matter?

Perfect timing, my boss decided today to let me know that he won't be approving any more vacation for the rest of the year because even though we have unlimited, apparently the limit is 20 days.

We've got a deadline coming up and honestly I'm just gonna take a break for the rest of the week. I need it, I deserve it, I've been busting my ass for no reason cause the end result is the same and no one uses our product, a year from now it probably won't even exist any more, and five years from now I'll have to go back to school and retrain to do some other job.

I was really doing fine until today. I make great money, I work from home, I actually get vacation, I know I can just take a sick day with no planning and that's fine, it's just so fucking stupid that they WANT me to take an unplanned day off or quiet quit for a few days when I need it instead of just allowing me to plan some fucking vacation.

Edit - this blew up, I don't mean to be all doomer. I'm just upset. There's beauty to life outside of my work situation.

I have a work trip to Chicago coming up soon and I was hoping any locals or people who have visited Chicago could suggest some food places I should be checking out.

I'll be staying at a hotel near the Woodfield mall, so ideally places closer to the mall would be best, which I know is not close to downtown Chicago. I'll be primarily working, so I won't have a ton of time to wander around or check out the city.

I will literally try anything so just looking for good or interesting food.

This topic is for the Three Cheers for Tildes mobile app.

I'll summarize the major updates at the start of each similar topic, so people can read the updates and then hit Ignore if they don't care about more frequent updates and user feedback.

What's new:

Version 1.7.0 (Jul 27, 2026):

• Detect expired sessions and prompt to re-login
• [iOS] Combined external browser settings for clarity

[iOS] Version 1.7.1 (Jul 31, 2026): Added light/dark theme setting

On iOS, currently TestFlight only for the next week or so.

Version 1.7 fixes a long-standing problem in the app: the interface pretty much completely broke when login sessions expired (after a year), with no obvious way to fix it from the user's perspective. Now the app will detect expired sessions and show a prompt to re-login.

I promoted this from quiet bugfix to a more prominent release, because it was pretty terrible user experience, and anyone using the app for more than a year has run into it.

I had to test thoroughly on Android and iOS, since I don't want to ever break users' legitimate login sessions. I also had to change approaches partway: originally I wanted the app to automatically re-login, but that doesn't work for 2FA-enabled users. Also there were too many error-prone edge cases when trying automatic re-login, whereas a user-visible re-login prompt avoids most of those silent error cases.

Previously:

[Android] Version 1.6.8 (Jul 15, 2026): Fixed crash when searching for topics on Android 12 and earlier.

[Android] Version 1.6.7 (Jul 9, 2026): Fixed comment interactions after double-tap to vote.

[Android] Version 1.6.4 (Jun 18, 2026): Indicate when replying to a deleted comment, fixed minor UI bugs in topics feed, fixed networking bugs, fixed rare crashes, support Android 17

[Android] Version 1.6.3 (May 20, 2026): Added "Find in comments" to "..." menu. Fixed first search position in comments. Fixed tapping links in collapsed details summary. Fixed stale vote rendering.

[iOS] Version 1.6.3 (Jun 27, 2026): Indicate when replying to a deleted comment.

[iOS] Version 1.6.2 (Jun 14, 2026): Fixed comment scroll bugs, fixed networking bugs

[iOS] Version 1.6.1 (May 21, 2026): Improves on the Find in Comments feature. Fixes some UI bugs related to the Find Comment bar, and with potentially stale votes showing in the UI. Also adds the iPad pane toggle on iPadOS 18 and earlier, to bring the behavior closer to iPadOS 26, and fixes some iPad animation bugs.

Previous topic: May 2026

Where to get it

Android version on Google Play Store: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.talklittle.android.tildes

Or sideloadable APK at https://www.talklittle.com/three-cheers/

iOS version on the App Store: https://apps.apple.com/app/three-cheers-for-tildes/id6470950557

Join TestFlight for iOS beta testing: https://testflight.apple.com/join/mpVk1qIy

My girlfriend and I will be visiting Toronto for around 48 hours next weekend. We get in late Friday and leave Sunday around 5 to head to visit friends in Montreal. I've been to Toronto a few times as a kid, but long enough ago I don't remember much besides the CN Tower, and she's never been. Does anyone have recommendations on things to do and especially on places to eat? The only real thing we have planned so far is the HHoF, which I definitely want to see again.

I have to travel internationally soon, and I’ve been making a list of things I simply cannot get here (by which I mean Brazil): right now it’s benadryl and maple syrup. Last time peanut butter was on the list, but it’s since become a gym-bro food and is much more accessible. But the thought occurred to me others must have their own lists.

So what’s something you can only buy when in another country that you make sure to pick up?

Hi Tilderinos!

I've recently found myself being less and less interested in posting to Tildes and reading less, which surprised me as it had become a pretty strong habit for me. After giving it some thought, I've realized it's because I have noticed a sharp uptick in negative sentiment being posted about/shared here (largely in the forms of pessimism/defeatism and/or apathetic/indifferent responses to people's struggles and experiences), and so I wanted to actually do something about it rather than simply grumble and let it continue unabated.

This isn't to shame or tone-police anyone - it's rough out there, and I don't think posters are on here trying to put struggling people down. But I wanted to come back with something firmly, boldly optimistic: I believe that we are actively making the world a better place. Yes, even you, random reader who might feel like they're stuck in a rut and/or doing nothing notable. Just by frequenting a website that's explicitly geared towards constructive communication and deeper thinking, you're making the world a better place. I truly mean that!

I think good things are still happening, and I think a lot of really smart people aren't giving up on trying to make the world a better place, one small step at a time. To quote one of my favourite BlueSky Poster's Username: Better Things Are Possible.

Never forget it!

I'll share a few positive trends I've noticed lately in the comments, and hope others will share as well - but no pressure. I hope this brightens even one person's day!

I'm curious how everyone here is coping this summer. Personally I prefer winter, I can always warm up with blankets and hot soup if it gets too cold. But this time of year even with the AC on full blast my brain still feels entirely cooked.

For my room it is now 80F/27C and it feels too dang hot!!
(also about 40% humidity here, which is high for what is normally a desert region)

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?