There's nothing I enjoy more than waking up late and going through the day without checking the time, and I make a point to do that for myself every year for my birthday. What sort of gifts do you give to yourself to celebrate the day?

I recall this thread https://tildes.net/~health.mental/1l62/adhd_diagnoses_are_surging_among_older_americans that I responded to in January, 2 months after my diagnosis, but about 3 weeks before I started medication. At the time, I was "self-medicating" with cannabis every weekend and I did implement positive changes, but I knew I needed something for the week and I knew I didn't want to smoke every day or take cannabis every day.

The medications

I started using Vyvanse in late January, after my diagnosis was confirmed in October, but my doctor wanted to wait for my heart results because I had consulted about my heart many many years before and it was the only thing I could answer to her when she asked me: "any past problems about your body?". In retrospect, she did well, because I now realize that most ADHD drugs are stimulants.

Anyways. My first day on Vyvanse was absolutely I N S A N E. I felt like I was the guy from Limitless taking NZT for the first time. It was like all my mind clutter got removed at once. Normally, I felt like I was losing frames every second, but with Vyvanse, I felt focused, every discussion I had that day, I was fully focused. Everything I had to do that day, or wanted to do, I did. I'm a teacher and there are TONS of stuff we need to do that is not really talked about, stuff like printing papers, organising papers for my groups (I'm in high school), reorganising my desks because someone messed with them, and so much little planning for different projects, future exams, future classes. Most of those things include some sort of planning with others, which can lead to a long list of things to do that just never ends. Well, that day, I did everything I needed to do and I felt like I wasted zero time with everything. I was efficient, quick, did all my tasks and more. I was used to doing thing fast, but I was maybe ~80-85% efficient most of the time. Well, with Vyvanse, I was at 120%. That lasted for a couple of days... and then the side effects started to really pile up.

I have insomnia, trouble staying asleep, I always wake up during the night and was also diagnosed with sleep apnea last year. So, insomnia coupled with stimulants was just not a good combo. I was not sleeping at all, probably getting 1-3 hours of sleep for multiple days in a row. My heart was often racing very much, often times at non-usual hours, such as at like 3 am...

I was super happy with the positive effects, it was exactly what I needed. I was able to start routines I had wanted to start for years, such as cooking, cleaning, planning, exercising, etc. I was able to do all that, but my heart racing and my lack of sleep really took a toll on me.

So I went to see my doctor, we tried Concerta for about a month and a half, but it did just nothing. It was maybe 15-20% of what Vyvanse was AND it still affected my heart, while not helping my insomnia. So I went back to my doctor.

We then tried Strattera. Oh boy, did Strattera work. I started it around early April and it's exactly what I needed. It's about 85-90% of the positive effects that Vyvanse had, while having close to zero side effects. I'm prepared to be on Strattera for the rest of my life. I'm on 40mg now and I don't need to up the dose, but through the years, I could go as high as 120mg, so there is room to keep the same effects for many many years.

How it changed my life

I must state that I'm in my early 30's. I've been living alone all my adult life. I had wanted to make positive changes in my life for years. I wanted to cook more, I wanted to exercise more, to organize my life, to decorate my apartment, to improve everything about my life. I had the willpower, my body just didn't follow. So, in that sense, the medication was just the final push before implementing everything in my life.

I had already started to make positive changes when I used cannabis during Fall 2024. Every weekend, I would write up a list, smoke a joint and go to work. I just wanted to be able to do that during my work week because, obviously, pot is not an ADHD drug and I couldn't be high all the time.

I can confidently say that Strattera and the medications just completely changed my life. Yes, I implemented every "positive life changes" you can think of. My life is organized, I can keep agenda updated, I can easily plan needed appointments, I follow-up on people when I tell them too. Remember all the times you've told people "oh yeah, I'll do that later!" and didn't follow up? Well, now I do follow up every time. I have planned my whole summer (yeah, teacher vacation!) easily... the list just goes on.

Being organized helped me in myriad of ways, in fact, it helped me use cannabis for (what I think is meant to be used) creativity. Now, I smoke a joint every Sunday, when all my chores are done, and I just think about creative projects I have always had and I work towards them, but it's mostly just thinking and writing some of it down. I made huge progress in a fantasy story I had in mind for years. I made huge progress in planning some class changes I wanted to implement next years; stuff like changing the desks configuration, offering benefits for work, changing the work style of my students, etc. And you know what? I'm thrilled to work towards that. I have some camping planned this summer where I plan to go alone and just think about that stuff in nature.

Anyways.

The biggest change is honestly just being able to switch from a short-term, adrenalin-energy-based life, to a long term life. I'm hopeful towards the future, because I know I'll be able to see my projects come to fruition. Even if it takes 10 years, I know I can do the work. I understood that, ultimately, life is work. There is stuff you just need to do. I cannot just not do the dishes, I cannot just not pick up after myself. I cannot just not take out the trash. But now, my brain is not tuned around maximizing short-term dopamine, my brain is now tuned around maximizing overall happiness, so I can do that "needed" stuff, while doing everything else while not being more tired than I was before.

I can just be the man I have always wanted to be. I always wanted to help people, to love people. Every other weekend, I go see my sister and help her with her house. Sometimes, I work like 7-8 hours a day, and I'm happy to do it.

Don't get me wrong, I still have time in my week where I have leisure time: I game about 10-14 hours every weekend, I surf reddit and youtube ~2-3 hours every day, but I just plan those moments better and end up enjoying them more, honestly. Every time I meet up with my friends, I fully enjoy it. It's not like I'm "no, sorry, gaming is not productive, so I won't do it." It's more like "yes, I can game freely now!".

Anyways, thank you for reading me, I just wanted to share my experience and I hope you'll free yourself from the judgement/negativity around being diagnosed/medicated with ADHD. If you think you might have ADHD, go to a doctor. Once I reached for help and got my diagnosis, it absolutely completely changed my life for the better. My only regret is not going to the doctor earlier, but I didn't, because "everyone has ADHD", yeah.

Hey Tildes,

Recently I picked up WoW again and I've felt a rush and focus I haven't felt for a while. I can play the game for an entire day. I feel nothing but guilt doing so. The one thing that gives me joy feels like something I'm not allowed to do at this stage of my life; I'm 35.

I'm in grouptherapy until march next year but I feel I'm not making any sensible progress. Others around me seem to open and loosen up, finding tangible changes that help their lives. Meanwhile I just keep resenting myself, dread doing anything that might even cost effort.

I feel I'm a fraud, a selfless good-for-nothing profiteer who blames anything but me. It fuels my self-hatred and my wish to self-isolate and act in self-destructive behavior. I also notice a growing bitterness as I get older.

When I was about 18 years old, I had a philosophy class where the teacher said this quote: "Things over which you do not have power should not have power over you." It could also be read as "control the things you control, ignore the rest".

That lesson really spoke to me. I put a lot of effort integrating it into my personality and I must say now, almost 15 years later, it made my life so much more enjoyable.

I used to get mad, really mad about stuff or get stressed about stuff out of my control, and I could never really remove those feelings. These words kept coming back to me and through some effort, I must say that I can more or less apply them in my everyday life now. It saved me a lot of trouble on various situations and has helped me break through problems way faster than I would have in the past, simply by helping me identify the things I could change and focus on those things.

I'm curious about you guys and your life stories. Has any lesson had as much impact on your life?

"I mean, pain is the ultimate driving force of life itself. Why do we sleep? Because we're tired. Why do we eat? Because we're hungry. Why do we talk to people? Because we fear isolation, etc. Just like in the movie Trainspotting (1996), where heroin users drown out the pain of existence with substances. Does that mean if someone becomes overly focused on anything, they feel a stronger dissatisfaction with life? And could this be used against us? Like this quote from the book Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig:

The world is increasingly designed to depress us. Happiness isn’t very good for the economy. If we were happy with what we had, why would we need more? How do you sell an anti-ageing moisturiser? You make someone worry about ageing. How do you get people to vote for a political party? You make them worry about immigration. How do you get them to buy insurance? By making them worry about everything. How do you get them to have plastic surgery? By highlighting their physical flaws. How do you get them to watch a TV show? By making them worry about missing out. How do you get them to buy a new smartphone? By making them feel like they are being left behind.

Hello everyone,

I hope you're well. I've been wrestling with two "philosophical" questions that
I find quite unsettling, to the point where I feel like life may not be worth
living because of what they imply. Hopefully someone here will offer me a new
perspective on them that will give me a more positive outlook on life.

(1) Why live this life and do anything at all if humanity is doomed to go extinct?

I think that, if we do not take religious beliefs into account, humanity is
doomed to go extinct, and therefore, everything we do is ultimately for nothing,
as the end result will always be the same: an empty and silent universe devoid of human
life and consciousness.

I think that humanity is doomed to go extinct, because it needs a source of
energy (e.g. the Sun) to survive. However, the Sun will eventually die and life
on Earth will become impossible. Even if we colonize other habitable planets,
the stars they are orbiting will eventually die too, so on and so forth until
every star in the universe has died and every planet has become inhabitable.
Even if we manage to live on an artificial planet, or in some sort of human-made
spaceship, we will still need a source of energy to live off of, and one day there
will be none left.
Therefore, the end result will always be the same: a universe devoid of human
life and consciousness with the remnants of human civilization (and Elon Musk's Tesla)
silently floating in space as a testament to our bygone existence. It then does not
matter if we develop economically, scientifically, and technologically; if we end
world hunger and cure cancer; if we bring poverty and human suffering to an end, etc.;
we might as well put an end to our collective existence today. If we try to live a happy
life nonetheless, we'll still know deep down that nothing we do really matters.

Why do anything at all, if all we do is ultimately for nothing?

(2) Why live this life if the development of civilization will eventually lead
to a life devoid of fulfilment and happiness?

I also think that if, in a remote future, humanity has managed to develop
civilization to its fullest extent, having founded every company imaginable;
having proved every theorem, run every experiment and conducted every scientific
study possible; having invented every technology conceivable; having automated
all meaningful work there is: how then will we manage to find fulfilment in life
through work?

At such time, all work, and especially all fulfilling work, will have already
been done or automated by someone else, so there will be no work left to do.

If we fall back to leisure, I believe that we will eventually run out of
leisurely activities to do. We will have read every book, watched every
movie, played every game, eaten at every restaurant, laid on every beach,
swum in every sea: we will eventually get bored of every hobby there is and
of all the fun to be had. (Even if we cannot literally read every book or watch
every movie there is, we will still eventually find their stories and plots to be
similar and repetitive.)

At such time, all leisure will become unappealing and boring.

Therefore, when we reach that era, we will become unable to find fulfillment and
happiness in life neither through work nor through leisure. We will then not
have much to do, but to wait for our death.

In that case, why live and work to develop civilization and solve all of the
world's problems if doing so will eventually lead us to a state of unfulfillment,
boredom and misery? How will we manage to remain happy even then?

I know that these scenarios are hypothetical and will only be relevant in a
very far future, but I find them disturbing and they genuinely bother me, in the
sense that their implications seem to rationally make life not worth living.

I'd appreciate any thoughts and arguments that could help me put these ideas into
perspective and put them behind me, especially if they can settle these questions for
good and definitively prove these reasonings to be flawed or wrong, rather than offer
coping mechanisms to live happily in spite of them being true.

Thank you for engaging with these thoughts.

Edit.

After having read through about a hundred answers (here and elsewhere), here are some key takeaways:

Why live this life and do anything at all if humanity is doomed to go extinct?

• My argument about the extinction of humanity seems logical, but we could very well eventually find out that it is totally wrong. We may not be doomed to go extinct, which means that what we do wouldn't be for nothing, as humanity would keep benefitting from it perpetually.
• We are at an extremely early stage of the advancement of science, when looking at it on a cosmic timescale. Over such a long time, we may well come to an understanding of the Universe that allows us to see past the limits I've outlined in my original post.
• (Even if it's all for nothing, if we enjoy ourselves and we do not care that it's pointless, then it will not matter to us that it's all for nothing, as the fun we're having makes life worthwhile in and of itself. Also, if what we do impacts us positively right now, even if it's all for nothing ultimately, it will still matter to us as it won't be for nothing for as long as humanity still benefits from it.)

Why live this life if the development of civilization will eventually lead to a life devoid of fulfilment and happiness?

• This is not possible, because we'd either have the meaningful work of improving our situation (making ourselves fulfilled and happy), or we would be fulfilled and happy, even if there was no work left.
• I have underestimated for how long one can remain fulfilled with hobbies alone, given that one has enough hobbies. One could spend the rest of their lives doing a handful of hobbies (e.g., travelling, painting, reading non-fiction, reading fiction, playing games) and they would not have enough time to exhaust all of these hobbies.
• We would not get bored of a given food, book, movie, game, etc., because we could cycle through a large number of them, and by the time we reach the end of the cycle (if we ever do), then we will have forgotten the taste of the first foods and the stories of the first books and movies. Even if we didn't forget the taste of the first foods, we would not have eaten them frequently at all, so we would not have gotten bored of them. Also, there can be a lot of variation within a game like Chess or Go. We might get bored of Chess itself, but then we could simply cycle through several games (or more generally hobbies), and come back to the first game with renewed eagerness to play after some time has passed.
• One day we may have the technology to change our nature and alter our minds to not feel bored, make us forget things on demand, increase our happiness, and remove negative feelings.

Recommended readings (from the commenters)

• Deep Utopia: Life and Meaning in a Solved World by Nick Bostrom
• The Fun Theory Sequence by Eliezer Yudkowski
• The Beginning of Infinity by David Deutsch
• Into the Cool by Eric D. Schneider and Dorion Sagan
• Permutation City by Greg Egan
• Diaspora by Greg Egan
• Accelerando by Charles Stross
• The Last Question By Isaac Asimov
• The Culture series by Iain M. Banks
• Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom by Cory Doctorow
• The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus
• Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
• This Life: Secular Faith and Spiritual Freedom by Martin Hägglund
• Uncaused cause arguments
• The Meaningness website (recommended starting point) by David Chapman
• Optimistic Nihilism (video) by Kurzgesagt

Hello, I’ve been working in technology for nearly 10 years and I just can’t be arsed anymore.

The companies I’ve worked for have generally been B2B, providing technology solutions for other technology platforms, but there’s no “product” or “thing” at the end, just some more shitty software.

I try to provide the best service I can, but I end up burning out each week. Just utterly fed up and lacking any motivation to make improvements as I have too much other stuff to “deliver”.

My question is more around what drives any of you ?
Do you get up in the morning wanting to make a difference ?
Do you work in an area that directly does good in the world ?
How do you stay motivated and fulfilled in your careers?

What makes you want to get up each day ?

Conventional wisdom tells us money does not buy happiness, perhaps the opposite. "Studies" (don't quote me on this, just going off headlines/articles I've read) say happiness grows asymptotically and levels off around an income of 70k USD (perhaps more like 90k inflation adjusted?). I would be interested to know how any of this matches your personal experience. Has your happiness consistently grown with income? If so, where did that growth level off, if at all? And to what would you attribute it? better consumer goods, more security, more freedom...? Have any of you experienced a decrease in happiness associated with growing income? I eagerly await your thoughts!

Like the title says, over the past couple of years, I think I slowly forgot how to have fun. I'm looking for any advice anyone might have (whether you've gone through the same process or not) on how to have a bit more fun.

The past 4 years have been transformational and formative for me. At 21 I decided to switch majors and move out from my parents' house to a more urban city. I mentally (depression) and financially struggled for the first 3 years, going broke in my second year of my second chance at undergrad at one point, eating bowls of rice. I identified my shortcomings (lack of achievements and disposable income) and worked on them. In the 3rd year I worked part-time while also taking a TA position with a full engineering course load. Last summer I completed an internship while also working as an independent contractor for a startup and kept the contractor position while being a full-time student up until this year. I signed a full-time offer at a big company this January and have one course left to fully graduate. I'm also correcting exams and tests on a part time basis for a professor. All this to say, I suddenly had a significant boost in income the last couple of months, and even more free time, whereas I was living on ~20k/year previously, with no free time.

This doesn't mean I don't enjoy or appreciate any fun activity I partake in. When I do go out with my friends I'm having a lot of fun and I'm breathing in every moment. I'm not depressed (not anymore), but I find myself having a more neutral mood outside of hangouts. What I'm struggling with is initiative with regards to fun. What can I do to have fun? I live in a cramped-up studio which I plan on moving out of in spring, but for now I don't have space for a TV let's say. I don't have a gaming pc, because up until now I couldn't afford one. I have a ps4 with a couple of old games, though sometimes I struggle to play them because of a lingering feeling of guilt from using it as a medium of procrastination in my teens. People mention lifestyle creep that follows an income boost, but I think my financial situation in the past has some lingering effect on me that's inhibiting even a small healthy dose of that. It's hard for me to justify upgrading some of my stuff, because they still work. Or buying some items I've wanted, because I'm doing fine without them. The isolation in a studio and the now gone uncertainty that was during the pandemic before I signed a full-time offer also played a role here I think.

So, having read through all that, I welcome any ideas or suggestions on how to spice my weekly life a bit more. I want to shake off the fight-or-flight phase that I was in. What are some things that you do that you think I could adopt to have a bit more fun by myself?

I'm a person of expensive tastes. It's very hard to make me happy foodwise. I love fancy stuff. I'd probably be happier with three star fine dining than street food. I actually like tinned cavier. What about you? What's an expensive luxury food you splash out on to make you feel fancy?

(with apologies/thanks to @mrbig - also most of the above isn't true, I love cheap food as well as haute cuisine)

I'm a person of simple tastes. It's not hard to make me happy foodwise. I don't need fancy stuff. I'd probably be happier with tasty street food than in a pricey restaurant. I actually like pizza from the grocery store. What about you? What's some super cheap food that makes you instantly happy?

I'm at a pharmacy, distributing their vaccine after hours the second it came in. I'm typing this up while my pregnant wife is in line to get her vaccine. If I get lucky maybe I do too. If not, my heart is still lighter knowing that my family is safer.

I'm filled with joy knowing that there is light at the end of this dark tunnel.

Thank you all for putting up with my special blend of near-persistent 2020 mania. Hopefully this will finally calm it for awhile.

There are lots of retrospectives about famous people that died and depressing virus talk on the news. But life is full of apparent contradictions and it is not uncommon to find joy even in the most desperate situations. What are some things that made you happy in 2020? Anything, personal or not.