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    1. What makes you play wargames instead of strategy video games?

      I am mostly a TTRPG player, but lately I have been becoming a bit curious on wargaming. I usually play TTRPGs because it allows a lot more freedom when compared to video games. However, I can't...

      I am mostly a TTRPG player, but lately I have been becoming a bit curious on wargaming.

      I usually play TTRPGs because it allows a lot more freedom when compared to video games. However, I can't really see that much in wargaming that you can't get in video games. Is the appeal primarily a social one?

      I am not bashing wargaming or saying that it's a bad hobby. I am just curious as to what the main draw is.
      Thank you for any answers :)

      6 votes
    2. Let's talk about Reddit alternatives, shilling, and Tildes bans

      @Deimos can tell us how many bans we've had so far on Tildes. Last count I knew was in the 50s months back, and some of those were the same person - out of 13,000 users. I'm sure it's rising right...

      @Deimos can tell us how many bans we've had so far on Tildes. Last count I knew was in the 50s months back, and some of those were the same person - out of 13,000 users. I'm sure it's rising right now, I'm also pretty sure it's still under a hundred, and I don't actually care if it's 1500. (Edit: It was four new bans, omg so nazi.)

      If you take the time to learn something about social forums, you'll discover that 1% of the users cause 90% of the problems. Tildes will ban that 1% aggressively. Act like an asshole, attack someone, and you will find the door. You do not however have to tiptoe around like there are landmines here - nobody is going to ban you unless you start attacking other users or trolling all the time. You are in fact allowed to swear here, just not at people. Take a lesson from Louis Black - rants are best when aimed at inanimate objects. :)

      Have you ever been to a nice big social party? Did you act like an asshole there? Did the bouncer throw you off the balcony? Probably not. That's because you didn't punch people in the face, piss all over the kitchen floor, or set the living room rug on fire while you were there (I hope). Try pretending that this is a real world party and adjust your behaviors accordingly. It is really not that difficult. Extend people here the same courtesy at a minimum that you would for a real world social gathering - maybe even go as far as you would for a black tie affair. The rest of us would appreciate it, I promise.

      I'm sure by now most of you know about /r/redditalternatives. It's an old subreddit that has been collecting links to anything and everything even remotely like a social site for years that came out of the 2015 blackouts. Most of their favorites are long dead, and most of the ones they love now will be dead in a few years. They've been telling us we would be dead in two months for the last five years - which tells you how much their average user knows about social software. They are not exactly well read on the topic.

      They are a useful link archive, and also a place for people to whine about the bans they've earned from other websites, or to shill for their own websites. Plenty of astrotrurfing for lemmy and squabbles going on there. Some of you folks are over there right now trying to sell them on Tildes, or worrying about the complaining about the bans.

      I'd advise you not to waste your time commenting in that place. They do not want us there shilling, and you will never convince a redditor of anything due to the mindfuckery that place has inflicted on its users for decades. Let them be. Everyone who gets banned here (or on most other sites) posts a thread about it over there, and always has - this is tradition now. Laugh at it, like I always do. It's Shawshank all over again - everyone in there is innocent, lawyer fucked them.

      Tildes was linked in the /r/videos post, which was #1 on reddit and why Deimos has an inbox taller than mount everest today. The 'secret' is out now. You do not need to go into forum warrior mode and try to defend Tildes. That's what your instincts are telling you to do, because 'tribes' are a thing, but it's not the right course of action. I guarantee you will have a better day if you just go for a ten minute walk, right now, rather than posting on reddit.

      Frankly, bettervanilla's big collection here is the only useful thing to show up in that place in years, so good on them for giving that place a purpose again.

      If you do want to help out, then use your invites. It's better if you pick, rather than just emails and invite threads. You do realize if Deimos tops everyone up to 5 codes, that's almost 100k new invites available and almost 20k people who can send them out, five at a time. This place is already past the point where it can die from the evaporative cooling effect, which did in fact have us on ice for a while there, but that's over now.

      Look for conversations not where people are looking for alternatives, but where people are talking about real forums, pining for the old days of the internet, deep discussions, and complaining about cat posts and low effort content. Those are the people who will thank you for telling them about Tildes. Let's not be the same spamming, astroturfing jerks that every other website has become.

      Edit: I take it back, this is also a remarkable post about the fediverse's moderation problems and I wish that place had more discussions of that nature. Also, Deimos says he banned 4 people in the last week, out of thousands of new users. Clearly, we're being unreasonable. :P

      228 votes
    3. What operating system do you run your home servers on?

      I'm going to set up my first home server with an Intel NUC, but I can't decide what OS to use. Ubuntu seems popular but I like Pop!_OS and am not sure if that would be a good option. Then there's...

      I'm going to set up my first home server with an Intel NUC, but I can't decide what OS to use. Ubuntu seems popular but I like Pop!_OS and am not sure if that would be a good option. Then there's TrueNas and Unraid, but as a newbie, what's the best choice?

      I'm also just curious what everyone else is using :)

      Edit: Thank you for your great responses!

      49 votes
    4. Finished project: 32L hiking backpack

      In my infinite wisdom I posted this to r/myog yesterday, just before the blackout started. I'm going to repost it here as a way to gauge how well it fits in on Tildes – this type of post is pretty...

      In my infinite wisdom I posted this to r/myog yesterday, just before the blackout started. I'm going to repost it here as a way to gauge how well it fits in on Tildes – this type of post is pretty central to the r/myog community and I am hoping some of us can migrate here.
       

      Goldilocks Pack

       
          In April of 2021, lo these many years ago, Reddit user savvlo posted in the r/myog Swap Thread that he was placing a wholesale order for Ecopak Ultra EPL200 and was wondering if anyone wanted a few yards. I had heard of this material and was eager to get my hands on some; none of the major UL pack manufacturers had started offering it yet and the only way to have an Ultra backpack was to build it yourself. I had the skills (4 or 5 packs already under my belt) and I aimed to be one of the first.
       
          Well, so much for that. I fell out of love with MYOG for a year or so, and by then the project seemed so insurmountable that I didn't even know where to start. I did plenty of designing and redesigning (because that's the fun part) but the truth was that I just didn't really need another backpack, so there was no motivation to start a project that would consume dozens of hours. And then finally, this spring, my trusty old Hyperlite started showing its 4000+ miles and gave me the kick I needed to actually make this damn thing.
       
          You can guess from the title that this pack fills a hole in my lineup – for years my two pack options were my 40L Windrider and my 27L summer pack, and most often I found myself wishing I had an in-between option in the 33L range. The MLD Burn fits right in that pocket and after seeing one in action on a high route trip with a friend I knew that was going to be my model. The overall dimensions of my pack match the Burn exactly; the main modifications I've made are to the pockets, straps, and components. The comments in the Imgur album go over the specifics.
       

      Specs Imperial Metric
      Weight 13.3 oz 376 g
      Internal Volume* 2000 in^3 32 L
      Width 10 in 254 mm
      Depth 6 in 152 mm
      Height 29 in 737 mm
      Torso 19 in 483 mm

      *this is just my best guess, I don't have a good way to measure volume
       

      Thoughts

          I'm from the Midwest and I hate tooting my own horn so you'll know I speak truth when I say that this is, undoubtedly, my finest work. Other than a few trivial mistakes everything pretty much fell together perfectly. This is not normally the case with my projects and naturally it makes me quite nervous.

          The one thing I can't get over is this fabric! I can't believe this stuff only weighs in at 3.5 osy. It feels so much tougher than the Hybrid DCF I'm used to working with; it's so hard to cut through even with my sharp sewing scissors. Only time will tell if this pack really is as tough as it feels, but my hopes are sky high. Thanks for reading and looking at my pictures!

      24 votes
    5. The most liberating decision: just deleted my Reddit account

      https://postimg.cc/phNYcrTJJust deleted my Reddit account. I was a Digg addict, and thereafter way to absorbed in Reddit for my own good. Wanted to thank Christian for a brilliant app (if he ever...

      https://postimg.cc/phNYcrTJ

      Just deleted my Reddit account. I was a Digg addict, and thereafter way to absorbed in Reddit for my own good.

      Wanted to thank Christian for a brilliant app (if he ever was to see this: you poured your soul into that thing. Thank you for all you did). I’ve now deleted the app on all devices and am moving on!

      Am looking forward to a fresh change.

      I really like the feel of this place. Low key, easy to navigate and not crowded. And the civil conversations just blow my mind!

      PS: sincerely appreciate the invite link!

      150 votes
    6. 76th Tony Awards, 2023

      I'm following the New York Times' liveblog and list of winners; I'll try to update this post. Best Play: “Leopoldstadt” “Leopoldstadt,” a wrenching drama that explores the destructive toll of...

      I'm following the New York Times' liveblog and list of winners; I'll try to update this post.


      • Best Play: “Leopoldstadt”

      “Leopoldstadt,” a wrenching drama that explores the destructive toll of antisemitism by following a family of Viennese Jews through the first half of the 20th century, won the Tony Award for best play on Sunday night.

      The play is by Tom Stoppard, an 85-year-old British playwright who is widely regarded as among the greatest living dramatists, and who had already won the best play Tony Award more times than any other writer. This is his 19th production on Broadway since his debut in 1967, and his fifth Tony for best play, following “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead,” “Travesties,” “The Real Thing” and “The Coast of Utopia.”

      “Leopoldstadt” is an unusually personal work for Stoppard, prompted by his late-in-life reckoning with his Jewish roots, and the realization that many of his relatives were killed in the Holocaust. Stoppard was not yet 2 years old when his own family fled what was then Czechoslovakia, where he was born, to escape the Nazi invasion; he was raised in Britain and has said he only fully came to understand his family’s Jewish heritage when he was much older.

      “Leopoldstadt,” directed by Patrick Marber, was first staged in London, where it opened in 2020, shortly before the coronavirus pandemic forced the shutdown of theaters, and then resumed performances in the West End after theaters reopened in 2021. That production won the Olivier Award for best new play in 2020.

      The Broadway production began previews Sept. 14 and opened Oct. 2 at the Longacre Theater. The run is scheduled to end on July 2.

      The play, named for a historically Jewish section of Vienna, begins in 1899 in the living room of an affluent and assimilated Austrian Jewish family and continues until 1955, after much of the family has perished; some members of the family had mistakenly thought that their integration into Viennese society would somehow protect them.

      The show is quite large for a Broadway play, with a cast of 38, including several children. It was capitalized for up to $8.75 million, according to a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission.

      The lead producer is Sonia Friedman, a prolific British producer who has notched an impressive set of wins on Broadway: She was also a lead producer of the best play Tony winners in 2020 (“The Inheritance,” which was granted the award at a pandemic-delayed ceremony in 2021), 2019 (“The Ferryman”) and 2018 (“Harry Potter and the Cursed Child”).

      • Best Musical: “Kimberly Akimbo”

      “Kimberly Akimbo,” a small-scale, big-hearted show about a teenage girl coping with a life-shortening genetic condition and a comically dysfunctional family, won the coveted Tony Award for best musical Sunday night.

      The musical is the smallest, and lowest-grossing, of the five nominees in the category, but it was also by far the best reviewed, with virtually unanimous acclaim from critics. (Nodding to the show’s anagram-loving subplot, New York Times critic Jesse Green presciently suggested one of his own last fall: “sublime cast = best musical.”)

      The show, set in 1999 in Bergen County, N.J., stars the 63-year-old Victoria Clark as Kimberly, a 15-going-on-16-year-old girl who has a rare condition that makes her age prematurely. Kimberly’s home life is a mess — dad’s a drunk, mom’s a hypochondriac, and aunt is a gleeful grifter — and her school life is complicated by her medical condition. But she befriends an anagram-obsessed classmate and learns to find joy where she can.

      “Kimberly Akimbo,” which opened at the Booth Theater in November, was written by the playwright David Lindsay-Abaire and the composer Jeanine Tesori, based on a play Lindsay-Abaire had written in 2003. The musical, directed by Jessica Stone, began its life with an Off Broadway production at the nonprofit Atlantic Theater Company in the fall of 2021.

      The musical, with just nine characters, was capitalized for up to $7 million, according to a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission; that’s a low budget for a musical on Broadway these days, when a growing number of shows are costing more than $20 million to stage. The lead producer is David Stone, who, as a lead producer of “Wicked,” is one of Broadway’s most successful figures; this is the first time he has won a Tony Award for best musical.

      • Best Revival of a Play: "Topdog/Underdog"

      A new production of “Topdog/Underdog,” Suzan-Lori Parks’s tour de force about two Black brothers weighted down by history and circumstance, won the Tony Award for best play revival Sunday night.

      The play, first staged at the Public Theater in 2001, was already a widely hailed masterpiece: In 2002 it won the Pulitzer Prize for Drama, making Parks the first African American woman awarded that prize, and in 2018 a panel of New York Times critics declared it the best American play of the previous quarter century.

      The new production, which ran from September 2022 through January 2023 at the John Golden Theater, was directed by Kenny Leon. It starred Corey Hawkins and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as the two brothers, ominously named Lincoln and Booth.

      In the play, Lincoln works in whiteface as a Lincoln impersonator at an arcade, while Booth makes ends meet by shoplifting. They share a one-room apartment, a fondness for three-card monte, and a set of familial and societal burdens from which they cannot escape. “‘Topdog/Underdog’ is both a vivid, present-tense family portrait and an endlessly reverberating allegory,” the New York Times critic Ben Brantley wrote in 2018.

      • Best Revival of a Musical: "Parade"

      “Parade,” a musical based on the early 20th century lynching of a Jewish businessman in Georgia, won the Tony Award for best musical revival Sunday night.

      The prize cements a remarkable rebirth for the show, which was not successful when it first opened on Broadway in 1998, but which is shaping up to be a hit this time, thanks to strong word-of-mouth and the popularity of its leading man, Ben Platt. It was one of several shows this season about antisemitism, as the number of reported incidents has been rising.

      The success of “Parade” is also a significant milestone for the musical’s composer, Jason Robert Brown, who is widely admired within the theater community but whose Broadway productions have struggled commercially. Brown wrote the music and lyrics for “Parade,” and the book is by Alfred Uhry; both men won Tony Awards for their work on the show in 1999.

      ... Audible groans here as Jason Robert Brown, the composer behind “Parade,” gets cut off at the microphone. He started to say something about Mary Phagan, the girl whose murder in Georgia set the Leo Frank trial in motion.

      • Best Leading Actor in a Play: Sean Hayes, “Good Night, Oscar”, as Oscar Levant

      Sean Hayes, who portrays the witty but troubled pianist Oscar Levant in “Good Night, Oscar,” won the Tony for best lead actor in play.

      Best known for his long-running role as Jack McFarland in the television series “Will & Grace,” Hayes received critical praise for his drastic transformation in this stage production, adopting the hunched posture, irritable scowl and anxious twitching of Levant, who channeled his neuroticism into crowd-pleasing radio and television banter.

      Hayes, 52, has also brought one of his lesser known talents to the stage for this performance: classical piano, which he started studying at age 5.

      Telling the story of one night in 1958 when Levant finagled his way out of psychiatric hospital to be interviewed on Jack Paar’s “Tonight Show,” the play focuses on the pianist’s idiosyncrasies, compulsions and struggles with opioid addiction as surrounding characters try desperately to manage him.

      This is Hayes’s first Tony Award. He was previously nominated for his Broadway debut in the 2010 revival of “Promises, Promises,” a musical adaptation of the Billy Wilder film “The Apartment.”

      • Best Leading Actress in a Play: Jodie Comer, "Prima Facie", as Tessa Ensler

      The leading actress in a play category this year was a face-off of extremes: Jodie Comer, who delivers a physically and emotionally exhausting performance in Suzie Miller’s one-woman legal thriller “Prima Facie,” versus Jessica Chastain, who scarcely stirs from her chair during the entirety of “A Doll’s House.”

      In the end, it was Comer who triumphed, for her tour-de-force solo turn as a lawyer who defends men accused of sexual assault. Jesse Green, the chief theater critic for The New York Times, described it as “a performance of tremendous skill and improbable stamina.”

      It was a remarkable win for the 30-year-old English actress, who is best known for playing the assassin Villanelle on the television show “Killing Eve.” She not only took home her first Tony Award on her first try; she won it for her first performance on a professional stage — ever.

      “It kind of felt unattainable,” she told The Times in April of the prospect of doing theater.

      • Best Leading Actor in a Musical: J. Harrison Ghee, "Some Like It Hot", as Jerry/Daphne

      J. Harrison Ghee, whose portrayal of a gender-questioning musician fleeing the mob in “Some Like It Hot” has charmed critics and audiences, won a Tony Award for best leading actor in a musical Sunday night, becoming the first out nonbinary actor to win that award.

      Ghee’s victory came shortly after Alex Newell, who is also nonbinary, won a Tony Award for best featured actor in a musical, becoming the first out nonbinary performer to win a Tony.

      The Tony Awards, like the Oscars, have only gendered categories for performers, and Ghee and Newell agreed to be considered eligible for awards as actors. (Another nonbinary performer this season, Justin David Sullivan of “& Juliet,” opted not to be considered for awards rather than compete in a gendered category.)

      Asked in a recent interview with The New York Times about having been nominated in a gendered category, Ghee said: “Wherever I am, I will show up as who I am. Someone’s compartmentalization of me doesn’t limit me in any way.

      “I hope for the industry we can remove the gender of it,” they added, “because we are creators and we should free ourselves beyond so many labels and let the work speak for itself.”

      At least two performers who later came out as nonbinary have previously won Tony Awards as best featured actress in a musical: Sara Ramirez, who won in 2005 for “Spamalot,” and Karen Olivo (also known as K O), who won in 2009 for a revival of “West Side Story.” Also: Last year, the Tony Award for best score went to Toby Marlow and Lucy Moss for “Six,” and Marlow is nonbinary.

      Ghee’s depiction of a main character in “Some Like It Hot” reflects the way views on gender have evolved since 1959, when the Billy Wilder film it was based on was released. In the movie Jack Lemmon plays a musician named Jerry who dresses as a woman named Daphne to flee the mob; in the musical Ghee plays the same character, but Jerry’s path to becoming Daphne becomes one of self-discovery, not disguise.

      The performance earned critical praise. Jesse Green, The Times’s chief theater critic, wrote that Ghee “carefully traces Jerry’s transformation into Daphne, and then the merging of the two identities into a third that takes us into territory that’s far more complex than jokey drag.”

      Ghee, 33, worked as a drag performer before finding success in musical theater, with key roles on Broadway in “Kinky Boots” and “Mrs. Doubtfire” before “Some Like It Hot.”

      • Best Leading Actress in a Musical: Victoria Clark, “Kimberly Akimbo”, as Kimberly Levaco

      Victoria Clark won the Tony for best leading actress in a musical on Sunday night for her role in “Kimberly Akimbo,” in which she plays a teenager with a rare disease that causes her to age rapidly.

      As unusual as Clark’s role has been as a sexagenarian playing a gawky teenager with a fatal diagnosis, critics pointed to the pedestrian subtlety with which she imbued her performance.

      “So remote is she from the bellowing divadom of those tourist-bait extravaganzas that I’m tempted to call what she does not singing at all, but acting on pitch,” wrote Jesse Green in his review of the musical for The Times.

      This is Clark’s second award in the category: In 2005, she won for “The Light in the Piazza,” a musical in which she played an American tourist traveling with her daughter — a performance that Ben Brantley of The Times praised as a rare reflection of a “real human being” in an American mainstream musical.

      A veteran stage actress, Clark, 63, has performed on Broadway since the 1980s, earning Tony nominations for featured roles in “Sister Act,” “Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella” and “Gigi.”

      • Best Featured Actor in a Play: Brandon Uranowitz, “Leopoldstadt”, as Ludwig Jakobovicz and Nathan Fischbein

      Brandon Uranowitz, a four-time Tony nominee, won his first Tony Award on Sunday for performing a pair of featured roles in the critically acclaimed play “Leopoldstadt.”

      The play, by Tom Stoppard, follows an Austrian Jewish family — the Merzes — from 1899 to 1955. In the early days, the bourgeois family is comfortable and complacent, shown enjoying time together at holiday gatherings and family functions. But eventually the Nazis arrive, and their lives are upended and destroyed.

      “My impostor syndrome is on fire,” he said in accepting the award.

      “Thank you, Tom Stoppard, for writing a play about Jewish identity and antisemitism and the false promise of assimilation with the nuances and the complexities and the contradictions that they deserve,” he added. “My ancestors, many of whom did not make it out of Poland, also thank you.”

      • Best Featured Actor in a Musical: Alex Newell, "Shucked", as Lulu

      Alex Newell, a “Glee” alumnus who is bringing down the house nightly with a barn-burning number in “Shucked,” won the Tony Award for best featured actor in a musical Sunday night, becoming the first out nonbinary actor to win a Tony for performance.

      Newell, who identifies both as nonbinary and gender fluid, plays a fiercely self-reliant whiskey distiller in “Shucked,” which is a country-scored, pun-rich musical comedy about a small farming community whose corn crop begins mysteriously dying.

      “The standing ovation isn’t jarring as much as the consistency of it,” Newell told The New York Times last month. “I’m beside myself a lot of the time because I’m like, ‘Y’all are really still standing up.’”

      Newell agreed to be considered in the gendered actor category, explaining, “I look at the word ‘actor’ as one, my vocation, and two, genderless. We don’t say plumbess for plumber. We don’t say janitoress for janitor. We say plumber, we say janitor. That’s how I look at the word, and that’s how I chose my category.”

      • Best Featured Actress in a Play: Miriam Silverman, “The Sign in Sidney Brustein’s Window”, as Mavis Parodus Bryson

      Miriam Silverman, the only acting nominee from “The Sign in Sidney Brustein’s Window,” has been with this production since its Chicago debut. “I’m always more drawn to complicated, tricky, flawed characters,” she told the Times. “And not trying to make them likable, per se, but just trying to be inside of them in all of their humanity.”

      Alice Ghostley won a Tony for the same role when the play debuted in 1964.

      • Best Featured Actress in a Musical: Bonnie Milligan, “Kimberly Akimbo”, as Aunt Debra

      On Sunday night, Milligan, 39, took home her first Tony Award for best featured actress in a musical, for her scene-stealing performance as Debra, Kimberly’s scheming aunt.

      It was the first Tony nomination for Milligan, known for her vocal range and vocal belting, who made her Broadway debut in 2018 in “Head Over Heels,” a musical that combined a Renaissance pastoral romance with the music of the Go-Go’s.

      • Best Direction of a Play, Patrick Marber, “Leopoldstadt”

      Patrick Marber won his first Tony on Sunday for his direction of the harrowing, critically acclaimed Tom Stoppard play, “Leopoldstadt.”

      Marber, who was previously nominated for directing a 2018 revival of Stoppard’s “Travesties” has also written plays and worked as a stand-up comedian.

      “I’m thrilled to win this,” he said, calling Stoppard one of his heroes.

      • Best Direction of a Musical: Michael Arden, “Parade”

      “‘Parade’ tells the story of a life that was cut short at the hands of the belief that one group of people is more or less valuable than another and that they might be more deserving of justice,” he said in accepting his award. “This is a belief that is the core of antisemitism, of white supremacy, of homophobia, of transphobia and intolerance of any kind. We must come together. We must battle this. It is so, so important, or else we are doomed to repeat the horrors of our history.”

      Arden went on to recall how he had been called a homophobic slur — “the F-word,” he said — many times as a child. And he drew raucous cheers as he reclaimed the slur, making clear that he was now one with a Tony. “Keep raising your voices,” he said.

      One of the production’s most talked-about features is Platt’s wordless presence onstage during the entire 15-minute intermission. Arden recently told Michael Paulson that he “wanted to challenge the audience, when they’re getting their cocktail or texting their friends or talking about what they’re having for dinner, to look back and see Ben onstage, and to get a sense that while the world was turning, this man was sitting in a prison cell.”

      • Best Book of a Musical: David Lindsay-Abaire, "Kimberly Akimbo"

      A tough category this year, with fine work addressing daunting needs. David West Read somehow made a jukebox musical (“& Juliet”) witty. Robert Horn (“Shucked”) came up with more corn puns than anyone thought possible. Matthew López and Amber Ruffin revamped a classic farce (“Some Like It Hot”) as a contemporary exploration of race and gender. But David Lindsay-Abaire may have had the hardest job of all: turning his own play “Kimberly Akimbo” gently, cleverly, ruthlessly into a great musical.

      • Best Original Score: Jeanine Tesori (music) and David Lindsay-Abaire (lyrics), “Kimberly Akimbo”
      • Best Choreography: Casey Nicholaw, “Some Like It Hot”

      Casey Nicholaw won the Tony for best choreography for “Some Like It Hot,” a boisterous Prohibition-era musical with tapping, swing dancing and intricate staging.

      Nicholaw, who also directed the production, has been nominated in the category six times before, but this is his first win. In 2011, he shared the Tony for best direction of a musical with Trey Parker for “The Book of Mormon.”

      • Best Orchestrations: Charlie Rosen and Bryan Carter, “Some Like It Hot”

      Broadway World: In their visit to the press room, recently annointed Tony winners, Some Like It Hot orchestrators, Charlie Rosen and Bryan Carter discussed the timely and important subject of the need for Broadway-sized orchestras for Broadway shows.

      Bryan said, "Having an 18-piece orchestra is a luxury. We're hoping that the show inspires new companies to use large orchestras because orchestras really are the heartbeat of musical theatre."

      In discussing the challenges of bringing their larger-than-life orchestrations to life, Charlie shared, "The challenge of this show, in particular, was that I hold Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman in such high regard. They're such legends, I really thought twice, three times, four times, about every single note that I wrote on the page. I really wanted to do their score justice because they're so incredible and so prolific," Charlie added.

      • Best Scenic Design of a Play: Tim Hatley and Andrzej Goulding, “Life of Pi”

      NYTG: The Broadway transfer gave the cast and creative team the opportunity to make changes. "We were able to make some positive adjustments to the story based on the feedback from the West End," said director Max Webster, noting the first act was tightened.

      The move also gave the designers the opportunity to expand the design elements of the show. “It is always good to get the opportunity to work on a show for a second (or third, or fourth...) time,” said scenic and costume designer Tim Hatley. “In my experience designing for theatre and film over the past 30 years, I have never walked away from a production thinking I have managed to get it all right.”

      Most importantly, the design teams needed to adjust the scope and scale of the scenic design to fit the Gerald Schoenfeld Theatre in New York, which is wider and shallower than Wyndham’s. “This has, of course, had a knock-on effect, and video and lighting have had to adapt their designs to work with the new dimensions,” Hatley said.

      For his part, video designer Andrzej Goulding (co-nominated with Hatley in the scenic design category) upgraded the show’s simulations. He also worked with lighting designer Tim Lutkin to recolor some scenes for the Broadway run and blend his projections, which naturally light the set, with Lutkin's lighting of the actors. The designers also had to adjust certain visual elements to accommodate different sight lines.

      “The heart of the design is the ability to transition seamlessly from the hospital into Pi’s story, which is, for the most part, at sea,” said Hatley. The split-second transitions, which happen in full view of the audience, are integral to the narrative. “This was my challenge as the designer of the show, and I am pleased to have pulled it off.”

      • Best Scenic Design of a Musical: Beowulf Boritt, “New York, New York”
      • Best Costume Design of a Play: Brigitte Reiffenstuel, “Leopoldstadt”
      • Best Costume Design of a Musical: Gregg Barnes, “Some Like It Hot”
      • Best Sound Design of a Play: Carolyn Downing, “Life of Pi”
      • Best Sound Design of a Musical: Nevin Steinberg, “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”
      • Best Lighting Design of a Play: Tim Lutkin, “Life of Pi”
      • Best Lighting Design of a Musical: Natasha Katz, “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”
      • Special Tony Award for Lifetime Achievement: Joel Grey and John Kander

      The actor and director Joel Grey, 91, will be honored for Lifetime Achievement at the Tony Awards this evening for his “everlasting impact” to the theater, said Heather Hitchens, president and chief executive of the American Theater Wing.

      • Isabelle Stevenson Award: Jerry Mitchell

      Parade: When Jerry Mitchell moved to New York City in 1980 to dance in his first Broadway show, Brigadoon, he'd inadvertently walked into one of the worst tragedies of American history. By 1985, he'd lost his first friend to AIDS. By 1990, he'd lost four more. As a gay dancer and choreographer performing in New York, he lived in the epicenter of the AIDS epidemic and felt helpless as his friends and colleagues died.

      That helplessness turned into action in the early '90s, after Mitchell was cast in The Will Rogers Follies, in which he was "dancing every night...practically naked" in a tribute to the Ziegfeld Follies. "I was really in great shape," he told me over coffee on a warm May afternoon in a park only a few blocks from Broadway. "I looked hot, and people were noticing...and so a friend of mine said, you should go dance at the Splash Bar on 17th St., which was this famous gay bar, and raise money for our fundraiser." The fundraiser in question was for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, an organization founded in the theater community to fight back against the disease that ravaged their friends and loved ones.

      "A light bulb went off over my head. I called seven friends who were in Broadway shows who also, I knew, had great bodies, and I put together a strip show, a burlesque show on the bar. We made $8,000." And that was the birth of Broadway Bares.

      While Broadway Bares my have started as an eight-man strip show in a gay bar, its Chelsea nightclub days are long behind it. In total, the dancing/body-celebrating fundraiser has earned more than $22.5 million for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, with the burlesque dancers raking in nearly $1.9 million last year alone. The charity provides lifesaving medications, health care, nutritious meals, counseling and emergency financial assistance to those in need due to HIV/AIDS and other illnesses.

      • Regional Theater Tony Award: Pasadena Playhouse

      LA Times: Pasadena Playhouse will receive the 2023 Regional Theatre Tony Award, becoming only the second Los Angeles institution to earn the honor and continuing its triumphant streak after years of turbulence.

      The prize, which includes a $25,000 grant sponsored by City National Bank, will be presented at the 76th Tony Awards on June 11 in New York.

      The Mark Taper Forum, in 1977, was the first L.A. theater to receive the Regional Theatre Tony. Other Southern California recipients include the Old Globe in 1984, South Coast Repertory in 1988 and La Jolla Playhouse in 1993.

      The award marks an astonishing turnaround for Pasadena Playhouse, which was on the verge of shutting down in 2010, when it laid off most of its staff, canceled the remainder of its season and filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Rescued by the generosity of donors, the theater was back on shaky ground when producing artistic director Danny Feldman was appointed to succeed long-term artistic director Sheldon Epps in 2016.

      • Tony Award for Excellence in Theater Education: Jason Zembuch Young

      Jason Zembuch Young is the artistic director of the public South Plantation High School in Plantation, Fla. He stages full-length musicals and a full-length plays in both voice and American Sign Language.

      Now, his efforts are being rewarded with a special Tony Award, granted each year in partnership with Carnegie Mellon University to a U.S. educator who has “demonstrated monumental impact on the lives of students and who embodies the highest standards of the profession.”

      • Tony Honors for Excellence in the Theater: Lisa Dawn Cave, Victoria Bailey and Robert Fried

      Broadway will have an unusually busy summer

      There usually tends to be a lull in new Broadway shows between the Tony Awards eligibility deadline in late April and the start of the school year. But this season is shaping up to be different, with seven openings between Memorial Day and Labor Day.

      The first, a horror play called “Grey House” starring Laurie Metcalf, has already opened. Jesse Green had mixed feelings about it, describing it in his review as “so expertly assembled from spare parts by the playwright Levi Holloway and the director Joe Mantello that you may not notice, between the jump scares and the shivery pauses, how little it has on its mind.”

      Up next is “Once Upon a One More Time,” about the feminist awakening of fairy tale princesses set to the music of Britney Spears. That show will be followed by two other big musicals: “Here Lies Love,” about Imelda Marcos, a former first lady of the Philippines, with a score by David Byrne and Fatboy Slim; and “Back to the Future,” adapted from the hit film.

      Broadway’s summer openings will also feature a comedian, Alex Edelman, performing his acclaimed solo show, “Just for Us,” as well as two comedic plays, “The Cottage,” which is a contemporary version of an old-school farce, and “The Shark Is Broken,” which is about the backstage chaos that challenged the making of “Jaws.”

      16 votes
    7. Unreal Engine 5 usage

      Hi Everyone! First post on Tildes. I'm excited to have been invited to give it a shot! I was wondering if anyone here is using Unreal Engine 5 for any project their working on? It could be game...

      Hi Everyone!

      First post on Tildes. I'm excited to have been invited to give it a shot!

      I was wondering if anyone here is using Unreal Engine 5 for any project their working on? It could be game design, virtual production, architecture, automotive or you name it!

      I'm currently testing out numerous areas of Unreal Engine 5 for virtual production.

      Thanks!!

      9 votes
    8. Self harm, short sleeves, and trigger warnings. What is fair?

      Yesterday someone on /r/lgbt posted this picture of themself at a pride event, and several people in the thread commented on OP's self harm scars - one asking them to please and thank you spoiler...

      Yesterday someone on /r/lgbt posted this picture of themself at a pride event, and several people in the thread commented on OP's self harm scars - one asking them to please and thank you spoiler tag the image and post a trigger warning as they found the sight of OP's self harm scars triggering.

      As someone who has very similar scars as OP I said fuck that, I disagree. I found it offensive that the sight of someone else's scars somehow grants you the right and allows you to tell them to cover up or hide themself because they find it triggering. To ask to have trigger warnings and spoiler tags added is unfair, in my opinion - the commenter then replied that it's not that hard to do. But for me it's obviously not about the effort it takes to do it, it's about the fundamental principle of asking someone to cover up or hide their body that I take issue with.

      OP said elsewhere that they have struggled with mental health in the past but moved on, and clearly they are now at the point that they feel comfortable or don't mind that other people can see their scars. And I certainly feel like they should be allowed to wear whatever they like. I think that showing scars like this is 1) brave, 2) helps reduce stigma surrounding self harm, and 3) should be entirely that person's prerogative - their body, their choice.

      So I am curious what you all think about this?

      Is it fair to expect or ask someone to tag their picture like this, to hide their scars, to cover up, etc.?

      54 votes
    9. Basic How To Help: How do I build/install/??? a python windows desktop widget

      How do I launch an egg directory? I found a package that I want to use. It's a windows desktop widget. I downloaded the source from Git and unzipped. Installed Python 3.11 in powershell. Executed...

      How do I launch an egg directory?
      I found a package that I want to use. It's a windows desktop widget. I downloaded the source from Git and unzipped. Installed Python 3.11 in powershell. Executed py setup.py --install from inside the unzipped package directory.
      Python reports it installed into C:\users\user\appdata\local\programs\python\python311\lib\site-packages[package].egg.
      What do I do to launch the package? I've tried py [package]. The .egg inside that directory appears to be a directory. I tried simply ps: [package]. Nothing seems to launch it.
      Kindly help.

      Edit: I've since learned my efforts are moot because the widget I was trying to install requires dependencies that are no longer available, and also .egg is a deprecated (and perhaps poorly implemented) way to use python. Thanks to everyone for their help

      5 votes
    10. What podcasts are you listening to?

      First off, hello, I'm new here, and I hope this is an okay place to ask...what podcasts are you all into? Here's some of my favorites: Dispatches from Myrtle Beach: Link from Good Mythical Morning...

      First off, hello, I'm new here, and I hope this is an okay place to ask...what podcasts are you all into?

      Here's some of my favorites:

      Dispatches from Myrtle Beach:
      Link from Good Mythical Morning has a conversation with his father. It's a strange mix of funny, heartwarming, raunchy, and endearing.

      The Newest Olympian:
      Mike Shubert from the Potterless podcasts reads the Percy Jackson books (I tried reading along with the podcast because I'd never read them, but couldn't put the books down, so I'm ahead of the podcast now). It's a funny podcast regardless if you've read the books.

      RadioLab and the new season of RadioLab's More Perfect podcast
      If you've never listened to radio lab, just pick any episode. They're interesting and weird and you'll learn stuff. They're just good. The new hosts are still finding their way, but it's still good, so maybe start with some of the older episodes.

      Judge John Hodgman

      • He settles stupid disputes between people...e.g., "Is a hotdog a sandwich" (No.)

      Song Exploder

      • Even if I've never heard of the song I listen. It's about how songs are made, and it's super interesting.

      99% Invisible

      • it's about recognizing all the fascinating things in the world around us that we pass by every day without noticing. Always read the plaque.

      Oh No, Ross and Carrie

      • they do non-sciencey things and then discuss from a science perspective. (E.g., joining a religion, going to flat earth meetings, visiting psychics, getting holistic medical treatments, etc)

      This American Life
      just interesting stories about people and things in life?

      The Memory Palace
      super cool podcast...usually pretty short that takes things from history and tells the story in just a unique and interesting way.

      Science Friday
      deep dive into science news for the week

      Behind the Bastards
      all about the worst people in history.

      Sawbones: A Marital Tour of Misguided Medicine
      Hilarious podcast about medical history

      The Adventure Zone
      The McElroy family plays dnd and other role play games

      The Moth
      people tell personal stories to crowds of people.

      The Daily
      New York Times's podcast

      Wait Wait Don't Tell Me
      news comedy gameshow

      60-Second Science
      as described

      Good Job Brain
      pub trivia podcast

      A Hotdog is a Sandwich (but it's not)
      Good Mythical Kitchen's Josh and Nicole debate food things

      Dead Pilots Society:
      really interesting. They take scripts from failed TV pilots and hire actors to do table reads of the script. Every other week is an interview with the script's writers too, so you can listen to those if interested or just the table reads if not.

      Brainstuff:
      just interesting tidbits. Short podcasts.

      I'd love to hear your recommendations!

      Edit: Thank you all for all the recommendations! I'm still reading all the posts and adding them to my list to give them a shot!

      60 votes
    11. Looking for high-adrenaline suggestions

      I’d really appreciate suggestions for any action-packed anime series you might be able to share. I “play” Zwift indoors for exercise when I don’t have time to ride my bicycle outside. While Zwift...

      I’d really appreciate suggestions for any action-packed anime series you might be able to share.

      I “play” Zwift indoors for exercise when I don’t have time to ride my bicycle outside. While Zwift is a huge improvement over nothing, I still find myself watching the clock more than the screen. To help keep my mind busy and pass the time, I’ve been watching anime while riding indoors for the last several years. The more intense the anime, the better!

      I think the early Attack on Titan seasons are the most emblematic of what I’m looking for, though I’ve been enraptured by other less likely shows, such as Psycho-Pass and Dr. Stone.

      Chainsaw Man, Blue Lock, Shield Hero, Sword Art Online, Parasyte , the first season of Vinland Saga, Shokugeki, and many others have helped me get through countless hours of riding in the past, and I could really use a few new series going forward.

      Thanks in advance!

      Edit: cleaned up some phrasing

      Edit 2: It's really hard to come up with an exhaustive list, but as folks jog my memory (or when my own addled brain decides to be useful) I'll add other series I've seen so far as well.

      • Yowamushi Pedal
        • Because: of course
      • Lastman
        • A rare French anime, and I really enjoyed it
      • Fireforce
      • Neon Genesis Evangelion
      • One Punch Man
      • Kill La Kill
      • Gurren Lagann
      • Jojo's Bizarre Adventure
        • Watched a few episodes but struggled to get into it
      • Eighty-Six
      • My Hero Academia
      • Demon Slayer
        • Watched through the train movie and discontinued when they turned said movie into the next season
      • Mob Psycho 100
        • Watched a few episodes but struggled to get into it
      • Hunter X Hunter
      • Cowboy Bebop
      • RWBY
        • Struggling with the current season
      • Tokyo Ghoul
        • Struggling with season 3
      • Sabikoi Bisco
        • Made it to episode 10 and fell out of it, can't remember why
      • Ranking of Kings
        • Made it to episode 8 but never got into it
      • Welcome to Demon School Iruma-kun
        • Made it to episode 11 before dropping it
      • To Your Eternity
        • Made it a handful of episodes in but never got into it
      • Berserk
        • Watched the first season, need to get back to the second
      • Black Clover
        • Amusing enough, managed to watch 143 episodes lol
      • MEGALOBOX
      • FLCL
      • Naruto
      • That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime
      • Tower of God
      • Aoashi
      • Black Summoner
      • DNA2
      • Death Parade
      • Erased
        • This one hit me in the feels
      • Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works
      • Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood
      • The Greatest Demon Lord is reborn as a Typical Nobody
      • Gundam Build Divers
      • Kaiji
      • Noblesse
      • Over Drive
      • Overlord
      • The Promised Neverland
      • Puella Magi Madoka Magica
      • Shinobi no Ittoki
      • So I'm a Spider, So What?
      • The World's Finest Assassin Gets Reincarnated in Another World as an Aristocrat
      • takt op.Destiny
      • RE:Zero
      9 votes
    12. Any migraneurs here? How are you doing?

      One of the communities on reddit that I greatly benefited from was /r/migraine. It was helpful to have a space to talk about common symptoms, experiences, and the various treatment options out...

      One of the communities on reddit that I greatly benefited from was /r/migraine. It was helpful to have a space to talk about common symptoms, experiences, and the various treatment options out there. Wondering if anyone here also experiences migraines & might be interested in a support-ish type discussion thread? I'll post a bit about my personal experience in a separate comment.

      (Also -- this is my first post here, so please feel free to let me know if I've tagged this incorrectly or made some other newbie mistake. Thanks!!)

      25 votes
    13. Today is my 11th Reddit Cakeday, and it is likely to be my last as an always-on user

      With the death of third party apps, I'm gone. Way over 90% of my interactions are on RIF Is Fun, and I don't see myself changing over. (Ironically, I'm typing this on my laptop, but this is...

      With the death of third party apps, I'm gone. Way over 90% of my interactions are on RIF Is Fun, and I don't see myself changing over. (Ironically, I'm typing this on my laptop, but this is definitely the exception.)

      The u/spez "AMA" (quotes because it was anything but an AMA) yesterday made clear that there was no vision, no plan, no grand strategy, no genius behind the scenes trying to make a bad situation better. There is next-quarterism, venture vulture capital destruction, and a fundamental misunderstanding of where Reddit gets its value. Without the users, the mods, and the developers who make this insane place work, it will never turn a profit.

      Who wants to advertise on a website when there is random nsfw spam? Or where there is rampant racism without folks to clean it up? Or where nobody goes because there is no content? Developers, mods, and users provide (in order) the methods of interaction that then get applied to lead to the economic driver of the company. In the "AMA," the most damning comment in my mind was "we’ll continue to be profit-driven until profits arrive". You can't cut costs out of a budget hole when most of the work done comes from free labor, and when the content that drives eyeballs to the site is free too.

      Reddit is cutting the legs off of the 1% and <0.1% of users by seeking short-sighted profits off the backs of third-party developers. Reddit is gaslighting and libelling and doing a pretty shit job of it, because we all can see what's done and said here...And it is just going to accelerate the decline of the site.

      I'm not going to be deleting, because I have unreasonable hope that things can change for the better, I'll just not coming on nearly as much. I'll probably sleep or something with the extra time. Or maybe I'll read books on my phone, or develop a new strange addiction.

      Here lies Reddit, a hive of scum and villainy to rival Mos Eisley. It was home. So long, and thanks for all the fish.

      85 votes
    14. Looking for beta testers for my Tildes.net iOS app!

      Happy Friday everyone! I'm making a post to see if anyone wants to beta test my Tildes.net iOS app Backtick. Background I've been wanting to create a Reddit app for quite a while, and just when I...

      Happy Friday everyone! I'm making a post to see if anyone wants to beta test my Tildes.net iOS app Backtick.

      Background

      I've been wanting to create a Reddit app for quite a while, and just when I got started, the API change chaos happened. Thankfully, I remembered signing up for Tildes.net a few years ago and decided to pivot to make an app for this site instead! The app is still a work in progress, but I believe releasing early and getting as many eyes on it during development results in a better end product (and it's more fun for me 😊).

      Features

      Here are the current features of Backtick:

      • Light mode/dark mode
      • Login to Tildes.net (suports 2FA)
      • Front page feed with sorting support
      • View, vote, and comment on posts
      • Reply and vote on comments
      • Collapse comments
      • View notifications
      • Full markdown rendering
      • Text-to-speech for posts and comments

      Here is a video demo of the app in its current state (updated for v1.8.1): https://youtube.com/shorts/iukQJyJbtw8?feature=share

      I know there missing features, but as I mentioned before, I would love to get as many people in as early as possible to help shape Backtick's future.

      Testing

      If you're interested in testing the app as I continue to work on it during my free time you will need:

      • An iOS 16 device
      • TestFlight (Apple's testing app)

      You can access the beta here: https://testflight.apple.com/join/gNH18NE9. If you have any issues please DM me your Apple ID email and I will send you an invite manually.

      Thanks, everyone! Have a great weekend.
      - Ash

      Edit:
      Getting some great feedback! I'll be tracking bugs and potential features here if anyone is curious: https://chatter-brick-3d3.notion.site/Backtick-Tracker-888150b641ae4c0ab39dc0345783bc50?pvs=4

      Edit2:
      I created the Discord server to help facilitate better collaboration with those who wish to be more involved. It will be a place for discussion around potential features, bugs, and general chat. I will still be taking in feedback via TestFlight and Tildes.net, so it's perfectly fine if you don't want to join.
      Join here: https://discord.gg/aah7nkfpBY

      194 votes
    15. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 16, Episodes 1 & 2 Discussion

      The 16th season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia started airing last night and is now available for streaming on Hulu too! What did y'all think about the new episodes? Please make sure to...

      The 16th season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia started airing last night and is now available for streaming on Hulu too! What did y'all think about the new episodes?

      Please make sure to provide warnings for any spoilers you may post! If you want to hide your spoilers, please follow the formatting tips at https://docs.tildes.net/instructions/text-formatting#expandable-sections to hide them under expandable sections. Thank you!

      Episode 1 & 2 After watching all the teasers they showed over the last few weeks, I wasn't expecting literally all the teaser material to show up in the first episode. However, I still enjoyed the first episode! This felt a bit more like a classic Always Sunny episode and I found it funny for the most part. I definitely think that the show has lost a bit of its old charm, it now looks like a proper TV show with properly lit up sets and whatnot. Despite this, I think this episode was a solid start to the season!

      I really enjoyed the second episode too! It was cool seeing Charlie's sisters show up in this episode. I remember in the season they mentioned Charlie's sister and then she was never mentioned again. In the podcast, they mentioned that they'd simply forgotten about Charlie's sister as a character. So it was cool seeing them finally show Charlie's sister(s) in an episode now. Also was not expecting an OnlyFans name drop haha.

      31 votes
    16. Does Tildes *want* Reddit 'refugees'?

      The Reddit company is screwing up and upsetting a lot of their "power users" and mods. A lot of people are fed up with Reddit, and are possibly ready to move on to a new platform. Is Tildes that...

      The Reddit company is screwing up and upsetting a lot of their "power users" and mods. A lot of people are fed up with Reddit, and are possibly ready to move on to a new platform.

      Is Tildes that platform? I've lurked here for most of Tildes' life, and from that, my impression is that Tildes does not especially want to replace Reddit. A lot of people here like the small, intimate atmosphere. I've even noticed a bit of derision toward Reddit's lowbrow appeal.

      The reason I ask is because there are communities on Reddit that I don't want to see die. /r/Permaculture and /r/composting are some of my favorite places. I've gotten to know quite a few people who also frequent those places and I've come to enjoy the tone of conversations there.

      But this seems like an important question for Tildes to answer not just for my sake. Reddit is full of niche communities like this. If they have to go somewhere suddenly (and I realize that this is a big "if"), where do they go? I know that they technically can't come here suddenly--slowing growth is one of Tildes' features. But if Reddit's niche communities decided to move here, would you welcome them? I'm interested in what you, personally, think, as well as how you think Tildes as a whole would handle this.

      P.S. I'm also sorta asking for permission to invite /r/Permaculture and /r/composting over here. I like this website, but I'm just a lurker, and don't feel like I'm part of the Tildes community. It feels super presumptuous to invite my friends over here without asking. But I think the wider question is more important. Do you, and does Tildes, want Reddit's 'refugee' niche interest communities?

      Edit: Thank you all for the excellent responses! I don't have time now to respond individually, but I really appreciate the thought so many of you have put into your replies. This will help a lot in considering how to proceed over on Reddit.

      148 votes
    17. Any 2022/3 horror/thriller movies that anyone would recommend?

      Hey everyone! I love a good horror/thriller type movie and tend to binge on them every few months. I am however behind on releases over the last year or so :< I'd love to get some recommendations...

      Hey everyone!

      I love a good horror/thriller type movie and tend to binge on them every few months. I am however behind on releases over the last year or so :<

      I'd love to get some recommendations from the wider community to add to my list of must sees!

      Thank you in advance!!

      31 votes
    18. Welcome new Reddit refugees

      Hey all, I think we're getting a lot of new people over the past and next couple days thanks to Reddit's latest ideas of how to manage a social media website. First of all, welcome! Tildes caught...

      Hey all, I think we're getting a lot of new people over the past and next couple days thanks to Reddit's latest ideas of how to manage a social media website.

      First of all, welcome! Tildes caught your eye probably partly because of its community / friendliness and we'd all like to keep it this way.

      Recommended reading:

      • All the documentation is on docs.tildes.net. Most of it is current.
      • The philosophy page especially will answer some of your immediate questions
      • Since you're here and like the site, think about donating :)

      Some personal words: Tildes is not Reddit. But, at least if you're anything like me, it can replace Reddit as your own online social/discussion outlet.

      Tildes aims to:

      • Grow slowly, not exponentially.
      • Elevate the discussion, not lower the bar
      • Offer an alternative, not be the new Reddit
      158 votes
    19. Anyone here familiar with Scotland?

      I am in Scotland for a little vacation with a friend, and am looking for recs! We are mainly in Edinburgh, but have a car and are open to just about anything! I don't really mess with touristy...

      I am in Scotland for a little vacation with a friend, and am looking for recs! We are mainly in Edinburgh, but have a car and are open to just about anything! I don't really mess with touristy stuff, but am willing to try if you think its worthwhile! Also will be here for the rest of the week! We are planning on going to the gardens for sure, but other than that don't really have a whole lot planned. I would like to go to Galloway at night and see the milky way though. I love the scenery so I don't mind a short drive. Thanks :)

      16 votes
    20. What are we in the golden age of?

      What areas of human activity are currently experiencing a time of great advancement or a remarkable surge in quality? This is a call for positivity, if possible please refrain from irony or...

      What areas of human activity are currently experiencing a time of great advancement or a remarkable surge in quality?

      This is a call for positivity, if possible please refrain from irony or backhanded pessimism such as "We are in the golden age of assholes" or something.

      Thanks ;)

      73 votes
    21. The age of the superhero is over

      So instead of just posting a link to the opening weekend of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 (which is looking to open in the low 110s) I thought I'd just make a post talking about the recent box...

      So instead of just posting a link to the opening weekend of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 (which is looking to open in the low 110s) I thought I'd just make a post talking about the recent box office of super-hero movies and the fatigue going on with general audiences.

      Let's rewind to the far distant past of December 2021. Spider-Man: No Way Home just opened to over 200 million dollars. It re-invigorates movie going among the general public. Grosses at the box office afterwards are vastly higher. Spider-Man makes nearly two billion dollars at the box office. The next super-hero movie to come out is Batman, which does pretty well considering it's the first entry in a rebooted series.

      Then, the summer movie season kicks off with Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Seemingly, the movie is heading towards a 200+ opening weekend (much like Spider-Man). The film was sold as a follow-up to No Way Home, but in reality it had little to nothing to do with that movie. General audiences caught on, and were overall mixed on the film, so the opening weekend landed under 200 million. The film ultimately went on to gross over 900 million at the box office, but with terrible legs.

      The next film after that was Thor: Love and Thunder. Again, the film garners a mixed reception with both critics and audiences. It ultimately grosses less than it's predecessor Thor: Ragnarok (although L&T did not open in China or Russia). It did okay all things considered, but it was another poorly received entry in the franchise.

      Black Panther: Wakanda Forever comes out in November with much better reception. Although it still ended up dropping 500 million worldwide from it's predecessor (300 domestic). Again, considering this was dealing with the loss of it's star, it did okay all things considered. Still, it was a disappointment compared to what it was expected to make and the critical reception was weaker than anticipated.

      Then the big dumpster fire happens. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania is released. It gets the MCU's second rotten score on RT, and gets the worst audience reception of the series since Eternals. The film manages to get the highest opening of the Ant-Man franchise, but with terrible reception it also gets the worst legs of the MCU. It ends up with the lowest gross of the Ant-Man movies despite opening higher than both of them.

      The GA got burned from a constant flood of mediocre product (and we're not even talking about all the TV shows).

      Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3, despite much better reception than most recent MCU films, is ending up with a lower opening than it's predecessor, and will most likely end up with a lower gross than the first film. This is referred to as "paying for the sins of the father."

      This will be the lowest May opener since The Amazing Spider-Man 2 opened in 2014 (not counting 2020 or 2021).

      Super-hero movies will still be around, and some of them might make a lot of money, but it's clear the utter dominance it had at the box office for the past 10 years is over. Which is kind of insane to think about how quickly this all came crumbling down (only 1.5 years!). But it goes to show there's a limit to how many mediocre/bad movies the GA can handle in a franchise.

      And this isn't even counting how poorly both Shazam and Black Adam did for DC.

      It seems like Quantumania might have been the "Heaven's Gate" for the MCU, it was the straw that broke the camels back.

      So what will happen with super-hero movies? Probably a return to the pre-Avengers normal. Mainline superheroes (like Batman and Spider-Man) will remain lucrative. But lesser known superheroes are now riskier bets, and if those lesser known heroes are in a bad movie, there's no saving it. Logically, budgets for these movies should get lower to accommodate the lower grosses bound to happen from now on. And there needs to be actual effort put into the film in order to make it a good film first and foremost.

      Unfortunately for the MCU, many of the movies slated for 2024 were greenlit before they could change direction (like Captain America: New World Order which went into production a few months ago). The budgets for these films are probably going to be really high like they've all been (200M+) and the grosses will get even lower as these movies were not given proper re-writes to right the ship.

      As for DC, it puts a lot of pressure on Gunn to make Superman a good movie. And not just a good super-hero movie, but a good movie. Like how Batman Begins was just a good movie.

      Hollywood is now looking towards video game movies as the next big thing, thanks to the massive success of Mario, so these movies are going to have to build themselves back up.

      22 votes
    22. I'm working on a mobile app for Tildes: Three Cheers for Tildes!

      In honor of Tildes' 5th birthday, presenting a preview of this app I've been working on, called: Three Cheers for Tildes It's not ready for an alpha release yet, but have some proof it's not...

      In honor of Tildes' 5th birthday, presenting a preview of this app I've been working on, called:

      Three Cheers for Tildes

      It's not ready for an alpha release yet, but have some proof it's not vaporware:

      Pre-alpha app preview: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/dZ5cDZFrpUw

      Q: What devices will be supported?

      Android 6.0 and newer. iOS 12.4 and newer (includes iPhone 5s and iPad Air).

      Q: Who is this app for?

      Mainly for people who are a great fit for Tildes culture, but have found it hard to keep up, without an app.

      Maybe they visited once or twice, liked what they saw, but quickly bounced off because they're more accustomed to apps than websites. They could simply have forgotten about Tildes, without that dedicated icon on their homescreen.

      Maybe the lack of an app signaled to some that the site was not worth taking seriously yet.

      Or maybe they had been active for a while, and over the years gradually got tired of waiting 5-10 seconds to cold-start a web browser on their phone.

      I know Tildes regulars don't particularly need an app. Those who've stuck around have clearly been perfectly fine using the website for the past 5 years, after all. Tildes does have an excellent mobile site already! That said, I'd be thrilled if the regulars tried and ended up enjoying the app, but at the same time, I'm not planning to put in massive effort to change minds and habits that don't need to be changed.

      Q: I'm new to Tildes. Is Tildes the Next Big Thing? Is it going to replace <mainstream social network>?

      Almost certainly not, and that's more than okay! It was never designed or intended to compete head-to-head with any major social networks. Tildes is its own community with its own way of doing things. We could use some new users in 2023 to keep things fresh, in my opinion. But the goal has never been growth at the expense of quality. I believe most of us want to keep the cozy, and manageable, community feel.

      Please read the Tildes Docs if you're interested in the philosophy and policies of the site.

      Q: What does the app do differently than the mobile site?

      Currently: It follows native UI design patterns. It comes with a homescreen icon. It loads faster than a full web browser engine.

      Planned: Easier to submit stories by hitting Share from other apps. Notifications. Content and user filtering features.

      Q: Will your app have ads?

      No. As long as Tildes itself is ad-free, Three Cheers will remain ad-free.

      Q: Will you monetize the app some other way?

      I might ask for donations, with options to send money to myself or Tildes or both.

      I didn't build this app as a moneymaker per se. It's been a fantastic way for me to brush up on new (to me) technologies, and I wanted to support the Tildes community at the same time. Also to be really honest, my competitive side was fired up being the first person to release a native mobile app for Tildes.

      Q: Why is the app closed source?

      I don't want to open this can of tildo-shaped worms, but know I have to; <details>-ed for length:

      • I am building the app on my own time, without outside assistance or funding. I'm proud of my work, and I make apps for a living, and am not in a position to give the code away for free.
      • Client-side code has significantly fewer "natural protections" against copying, compared to open-source server applications, including Tildes itself. The server platform owns the user content which is protected by copyright, owns the domain name, user accounts, private messages, and so on. Client code, on the other hand, is all-or-nothing. If I gave away the code, that's everything—no "natural protections" against wholesale copying.
      • From personal experience plus countless anecdotes from friends and fellow app and game developers, open sourcing a client-side app will guarantee dozens if not hundreds of clones. It would likely result in well-resourced Tildes competitors taking the code and using it for their own purposes, backfiring on my intended purpose of helping Tildes.
      • The app does not incorporate Tildes' AGPL-licensed code, and is therefore not required to be open source. It interfaces with the output (HTML) of Tildes, just like a web browser does. See the GPL FAQ on the outputs of GPL'ed applications not being covered by GPL.
      • My code is often ugly and I want to avoid the incessant questions along the lines of "why are you still using that old technology?" which are too common in app development.

      On the other hand, if anybody is inspired to prove me wrong and build an open-source app, by all means, go for it! It would be exciting to see an ecosystem of apps maintained by different developers.

      Q: Will you release an open-source SDK at least?

      Maybe. I'd be up for collaborating on this. It would largely depend on whether the site admin is confident enough to tackle the increased spam and abuse that may result following a public SDK release.


      Thanks for reading! I'll post another topic in ~tildes when an alpha version is ready.

      38 votes
    23. Who are your favourite content creators, and what do they do?

      So I've been watching a lot of Youtubers the past year or so, and I'm about to run out of content! So I'm curious what you all are enjoying? I'll start of course - some channels I really like:...

      So I've been watching a lot of Youtubers the past year or so, and I'm about to run out of content! So I'm curious what you all are enjoying? I'll start of course - some channels I really like:

      Contrapoints - rarely uploads nowadays but makes great videos about social issues, especially trans and queer issues as she is herself lesbian and transgender.

      Perun - weekly 1-hour videos consisting of analysis of military economics, primarily about the Ukraine conflict. He also branches out though, and has done great videos on China's military's modernisation, and the German military's procurement processes, to give some examples.

      World War Two - you may remember him from The Great War, this is Indy Neidell and co. who goes through the Second World War in chronological order. It is very in depth as they do it week by week, so this is the most thorough documentary on the war available.

      Skip Intro - analysis of TV shows, particularly his Copaganda series is very interesting, in which he goes on deep dives of different TV shows' portrayal of police and how, most of the time, this portrayal is very dishonest.

      Climate Town - very informative and funny content about the climate crisis. Lots of things impacting the climate that you wouldn't have ever thought of before.

      Jenny Nicholson - makes videos about her own interests, fandoms, nerd culture etc. Very funny but rarely uploads.

      Edit: Thanks everyone for the recommendations and discussion! Lots of stuff to sift through now, thank you!

      26 votes
    24. I've (mostly) left reddit. It's a lot like quitting cigarettes.

      I've been a reddit user for a long time, it scares me how big the number is (death is marching my way quickly). Before reddit I was on digg, and before that, usenet (before google ruined it). God...

      I've been a reddit user for a long time, it scares me how big the number is (death is marching my way quickly).

      Before reddit I was on digg, and before that, usenet (before google ruined it). God I miss usenet. I know it technically still exists, but it seems to be mostly binaries and spam.

      But the new interface really stinks, and since they've killed .compact, I decided it was time to go. (There were dozens of us using i.reddit.com! Dozens!)

      And like the title says, it's a lot like kicking smokes. I was pretty jonesd the first couple days, and the experience comes like an impulse (Brain: "I'm bored! Check Reddit!"), followed by my conscious, no thank you, followed by, "What? No! We have to check reddit! Have to! We must do it now! Now! NOW!" followed by a gradual diminution in intensity of that same message, then a period of life, then repeat. The repeats slowly diminish in frequency, duration, and degree, so that now, only once or twice to I want to hit it.

      A couple exceptions: I still check my relevant geographic reddits once in a while, and if relevant, I'll add "reddit" to my google results. I also use stackexchange and wikipedia more for some of those informational reasons, but those two, due to their labyrinthine and fiefish rules constrain content. Another discussion. There are also certain, ah, visual distractions for which reddit is still a good source (and for that I use teddit.net, thanks friendly tilderino!).

      To ease withdrawals, I've been clicking tildes a lot more, also slashdot, and fark, and also ibooks. I'm proud of myself, and happy I've done it.

      A moment of reflection-why do I like these sites so much? And why not facebook, twitter, etc.? I do like to argue, occasionally even as a third grader, but facebook and twitter have plenty of opporunity for that sort of thing. No, the difference is that reddit (and tildes, and usenet) are structured around ideas, whereas facebook etc. are structured around personalities. I'm an introvert, smarter than most people I encounter (at least along certain axes, many of which may be of dubious merit), curious and interested. Interested in ideas. Which is not to say I do not find people interesting, or do not value close, intimate, personal relationships. But I like to talk about ideas, and most people do not, except on places like reddit and here.

      Perhaps I will start my own substack now.

      30 votes
    25. Teaching myself how to cook - where to begin?

      I have a reputation for being an atrocious cook. No one wants me to cook for them (I've had outright refusals), and my 'meals' have been the butt of jokes. Having had so many kitchen disasters I...

      I have a reputation for being an atrocious cook. No one wants me to cook for them (I've had outright refusals), and my 'meals' have been the butt of jokes. Having had so many kitchen disasters I fear trying anything new or complicated. I try my best to follow a recipe, but things often start to derail and I don't know what I've done wrong. I have zero intuition then I can get into a spiral where things turn from bad to inedible.

      Much I can attribute to how I grew up around food. The parent with the cooking duties didn't like to cook and didn't get to grips with it, but I didn't know any better. For most of my life, the dinner meal fit the same template: over-cooked (but not charred or burnt) plain meat, a carbohydrate (usually a root vegetable plain or mashed, but without any other ingredients), and over-boiled vegetables (soggy and tasteless). Table salt, pepper, and commercial tomato sauce were available for seasoning on plate - nothing was ever seasoned prior to being plated. We had no gravy, mayo/aoli, marinades, chutneys, dressings or the like, except for the Christmas day meal. Fresh herbs and whole spices did not exist in this reality, but some packet ground herbs and spices were kept and only to be used for the Christmas Day meal.

      Needless to say, leaving home has been a bit of a revelation for me. I love flavorful food, and eating herbs and spices every day, but I struggle with cooking and don't have much confidence. I would like to learn how to cook, with an emphasis on health and nutrition. I know plenty about those topics, the problem is with the execution! I need to go back to the basics - learn techniques, experiment and fail, but still somehow improve over time. My primary motivation is to do this for myself, but it would be nice to one day be able to offer to cook for someone! I'm not very ambitious, I'd be happy with just doing a few things very competently and am patient and ready to work on this for the next few years.

      I've hunted around on this site and found a discussion about the 'Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat' book/series, which I'm currently reading/watching and have learned a lot so far. I also found an old thread about culinary theory, but I think that's a bit over my head! (https://tild.es/6pc).

      So, Tildes, has anyone taught themselves successfully as an adult? Any advice on how to start or any resources you can point me in the direction of? Ideally, I'd like to learn about the 'why' as well as the 'how', because I am just so clueless! Also, are there any food channels/blogs etc. that you follow that have an emphasis on healthy and fresh food? Very open to all cuisines. Thanks all!

      19 votes
    26. My first electric road trip into rural Colorado

      Last weekend, my girlfriend and I drove down to attend the Monte Vista Sandhill Crane Festival. It's a roughly 4 hour/200 mile drive from Denver down to Monte Vista, with lots of variation in...

      Last weekend, my girlfriend and I drove down to attend the Monte Vista Sandhill Crane Festival. It's a roughly 4 hour/200 mile drive from Denver down to Monte Vista, with lots of variation in elevation. I got a Tesla Model Y last June, and since then haven't really had the chance to go out into the remote mountains of Colorado with it.

      This weekend would be my first such excursion. Getting down to Monte Vista is absolutely no problem. At about the halfway point in the trip, there's a Tesla Supercharger. That, combined with the range of the car meant that conserving battery was no problem at all.

      I was worried, however, about how the car would fare down in Monte Vista for the three days we would be there for the festival. There are no charging stations of any kind in downtown Monte Vista itself (though there are a couple of slow chargers on the outskirts of town, slow chargers with nothing around them are kind of useless). However, there were fast chargers in the towns nearby! One in Del Norte, and another couple in Alamosa, both a 20 minute drive out of Monte Vista. My plan was to charge up at those every evening while we were down there.

      On the trip there, we left Denver at 100% SoC, and the battery and cabin preheated for 30 minutes beforehand. We arrived at the Poncha Springs supercharger with about 17% SoC, plugged in and charged to 90%, which took about 40 minutes. The reason for charging this high was because I wasn't sure what state the non-Tesla fast chargers would be at when we got down to our destination area. My plan was to head from Poncha Springs toward the Del Norte fast charger; arrive at 60% and charge back up to 90% before driving around to look for the cranes.

      We arrived in Del Norte at 60% SoC as expected, but we found the one fast charger already occupied when we got there. Thankfully, we waited less than 5 minutes for the owners to get back finish charging, after which I was able to plug in and start charging.

      This charger was advertised as a 62 kW charger, but for the hour we spent charging there, the charge rate never went above 30. I'm sure part of this was that I was charging from 60-90%, and part of it was that it was cold out, and the Tesla lacks the ability to precondition the battery en route to non-Tesla fast chargers. We ended up charging there for about an hour to get the same charge that the supercharger gave us in 15-ish minutes.

      Luckily, there was a brewery/pizzeria and a neat antique shop just a block away.

      At some point in the trip, I became aware through Plugshare that the fast chargers down in Alamosa were being taken down that weekend for upgrades. They were installing more stalls, and I guess that necessitated taking the existing ones offline. Now instead of 3-4 fast charging options in this area, I was down to just one. I was certain that because those chargers were down in Alamosa, many more people would come up to use the single charger in Del Norte. Further, I knew that lots of people came down for the crane festival, and so I was worried that there would be an increase in the number of EVs competing for this one charger.

      When we got to our hotel in Monte Vista, I noticed there were outlets near the parking lot. I asked the front desk for permission to charge my car in the lot overnight, but was denied because "it would cost them too much money". I thought about offering to pay for the privilege, but the person at the desk didn't really seem interested in pursuing that line of conversation further.

      Overnight, the battery stayed charged at pretty much the same level, only losing 1% indicated charge. We got up at 5 AM in order to see the cranes take off from their roosting location in the wetlands, and go out into the fields to loaf (this is the technical term :D). We spent the rest of the day driving around the back roads and farm roads, watching the cranes in the fields.

      The whole day I was checking the charge point app to see if the one fast charger available to us was in use, in order to judge how busy it was, and to plan when we might go charge there. Surprisingly, not once did I see it in use!

      Since we had had a great day watching cranes, we decided to leave a day early. We had enough charge to get to the Poncha Springs supercharger, and from there back home with no issues.

      I thought I would conclude with a few bullet point takeaways from this trip:

      • Range anxiety is real. I spent a lot more time thinking about where to charge and if I could charge enough on this trip
      • Being away from the Tesla Supercharger network sucks. A whole set of fast chargers I was relying on was taken down exactly when I needed them. They're slower, you have to worry about them not functioning much more.
      • Tesla is opening a supercharger site in Alamosa! They filed for the permit just this week. This will basically erase the anxiety I had last weekend on future trips
      • Total energy costs for this 500 mile trip were about $35. That feels pretty cheap to me!
      13 votes
    27. Rant of a childish mind wandering the nebulous realms filled with abstractness and nothingness, proceed with caution!

      Hello Folks, I haven't posted on Tildes for a while and today I have a very strong feeling to post something. But what exactly should I post about? In some sense, a writer's block is the exact...

      Hello Folks,

      I haven't posted on Tildes for a while and today I have a very strong feeling to post something.

      But what exactly should I post about? In some sense, a writer's block is the exact anti-thesis of a child. Coming up with some creative content is sometimes painfully difficult for a functioning adult like me, while my 10 year old nephew can blabber hundreds of different things in a five minute span!

      Now obviously, I can also come up with hundreds of different things but we all know it's not so easy to put down those things on the keyboard. I'm not an expert in writing craft but I have a strong feeling that most of us just hold ourselves back out of fear of what the world says. And honestly, the so called "world" here is acting very toxic and isn't helping by discouraging content creators who aren't always top notch. And sometimes, the content itself can be good or bad just as beauty is defined by the eye of the beholder. What is cringe for you may be good content or even humor for someone else. If only most of us start focusing on the "full half" of the cup instead of the "empty half", think just how beautiful this world will be!

      Years of facing such toxic behavior on platforms like reddit and twitter has caused me to over-analyze and over-scrutinize everything before saying it. Any idea or concept has to pass through a lot of "mind filters" in order for them to get the "clean chit" for "yeah, this can be published". Perhaps, this particular post I'm writing is an exception or anomaly in that sense!

      As a programmer, freelancer, writer, someone interested in things like humanities and social sciences, and an ordinary Indian dude, you guys tell me what kind of content should I write so that the writer in me thrives and also the content is at least bearable by the audience?

      The problem I'm trying to solve here is difficult but I may not be the only one going through this phase. Is there a solution to this? Any proven and practical solution which you've had success with yourself?

      A part of me thinks that I should try podcasting or youtubing first, and then I'll gain the confidence necessary to actually write mind-blowing content. But I have a problem with impromptu speaking and talking, is that a very common problem? Is there an easy fix available for that? I intuitively know from what I've observed in this world that most people have enough confidence to say or speak a lot of things (even the harshest of things!) right in front of others' face but when it comes to writing, they can't write so much. I'm a kind of antithesis of that, isn't it?

      How exactly does one build confidence with public speaking? They say keep practicing and you'll get there. Here is a feeble attempt, not exactly a podcast but something near enough - a presentation for an app idea I've got. I want to create more of these but again, what content? I've got no ideas, especially interesting or appealing ones. And judging by the number of likes that youtube video got, I already have half a mind of just giving up on this!

      If you've reached until this point, thank you for sticking with me till the end. And apologies if I picked up on your brain beyond its limits!

      5 votes
    28. What will "classically trained" look like for computer science and digital literacy?

      This might be a weird framing but it's been bugging me for a few days. Many fields have a concept of classical training -- this is most common in music but applies in the humanities and many other...

      This might be a weird framing but it's been bugging me for a few days. Many fields have a concept of classical training -- this is most common in music but applies in the humanities and many other areas. For example I do a lot of CAD work for my job, but I received what I would consider a "classical education" in design...I learned to draft by hand and physically model before I was ever allowed to work digitally. I got a lot of value out of this approach and it still informs the way I work today.

      A lot of people view computers and technology as modern and almost anti-classical, but as the tech industry matures and the internet moves from something shiny and new to something foundational to our society, what will the new classicism look like?

      Thanks for reading my question.

      14 votes
    29. Upgraded to Windows 10, what do I need to do to optimize?

      I finally got around to upgrading my mom’s computer (an Asus laptop from 2015) from Windows 8.1 to Windows 10. I’ve already deleted a few apps she won’t use (e.g., Xbox) and disabled/stopped some...

      I finally got around to upgrading my mom’s computer (an Asus laptop from 2015) from Windows 8.1 to Windows 10. I’ve already deleted a few apps she won’t use (e.g., Xbox) and disabled/stopped some unneeded services. What else can I do to keep her computer fast? Particularly interesting in more services I can disable and the best browser/ad blocker combo. Thanks y’all!

      10 votes
    30. What are the most personally influential/impactful/useful Tildes posts you can remember?

      Inspired by this post by @kfwyre. For me, there's many; I don't want to influence responses but I will shout out the monthly mental health threads. Those really got me to (over)share feelings and...

      Inspired by this post by @kfwyre.

      For me, there's many; I don't want to influence responses but I will shout out the monthly mental health threads. Those really got me to (over)share feelings and find some reason. I got through dark times thanks to you all, Tildoes.

      10 votes
    31. Are there any android 13 apps that can successfully spoof location (or otherwise thwart stalkerware)

      (apologies if this isn't the correct place to ask, I'm just a bit out of ideas) (content warning for abusive parents) I have a friend who's abusive parents track her location using the stalkerware...

      (apologies if this isn't the correct place to ask, I'm just a bit out of ideas)
      (content warning for abusive parents)

      I have a friend who's abusive parents track her location using the stalkerware app life360.

      she currently runs graphene os (android 13) on a pixel 7 pro.

      in my past android experience there are plenty apps that can spoof your location via developer settings. however they all crash on android 13 (or at least on graphene..)

      see below (none of these work, and they also crash on my android 13 phone, but they have worked for me in the past on like android 9):
      https://github.com/mcastillof/FakeTraveler
      https://github.com/wesaphzt/privatelocation
      https://github.com/warren-bank/Android-Mock-Location
      https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.lexa.fakegps&gl=US

      if there are no functioning apps that will do this. do you know any other solutions? on other android roms or with root with magisk / xposed? obviously this is less secure than graphene os but the current problem is her parents more than anything else.

      we r also considering a secondary phone just for the stalkerware which can be opportunistically left in innocent places. or just killing the life360 app on occasion when needed. or just letting the phone die when it needs to. But not sure how obvious this might be to the abusers. any insight is appreciated.

      (suggestions like "leave her parents" are good but far easier said than done and while it will eventually happen its not feasible at the moment. That being said if you can provide detail suggestions are welcome)

      Thanks :)

      5 votes
    32. What are your financial goals? What habits, practices, and strategies do you use to reach them?

      How do you spend your money? How do you want to spend it? How do you save? I'm curious what strategies my fellow Tildenizens use to spend efficiently, build savings for retirement and other...

      How do you spend your money? How do you want to spend it? How do you save?

      I'm curious what strategies my fellow Tildenizens use to spend efficiently, build savings for retirement and other purchases, and otherwise maximize their financial lives. How do you use your money to maximize your happiness?


      Here's me: I'm young, single, thankfully debt-free, and my annual salary is about $70,000. I'm able to save approximately 35% of that by living relatively frugally:

      All My Stuff
      • I live in a big city, but not an expensive one. I pay rent, but it's pretty low for the amenities I have access to.
      • I live with a roommate to reduce expenses. We're on the same wavelength about minimizing spending.
      • I don't own a car and rely on public transit and carpooling to get places. I also work from home.
      • I go out of my way to shop at the cheapest grocery stores in the area to cut my weekly bill in half (or more).
      • I have three credit cards, but I always keep my utilization low and never miss a minimum payment.
      • I have a separate bank account (checking) for bills than for general spending. I set up my direct deposit to automatically put in all necessary funds for bills into the bill account. Then I set up autopay with all my providers so I don't miss payments. I have one month's buffer in this account in case there's some issue with my paycheck.
      • I contribute as much as I can to my employer-provided 401(k) savings account every month and invest in index funds. I can get to about 65% of the IRS max contribution limit with my income.
      • I contribute to a Roth Individual Retirement Account (IRA) every month to reach the IRS max contribution limit for the year, and invest in index funds.
      • I have a high-deductible healthcare plan (HDHP) which lets me use a Health Savings Account (HSA). My company pays a little into my HSA each month, and I contribute a similar amount to reach the IRS max contribution limit. Instead of using the HSA to pay for medical expenses, my strategy is to pay out of pocket for all expenses and simply invest the funds in my HSA in index funds to maximize their growth potential. Since this account is so tax-advantaged, investments here are more efficient (as far as I can tell) than in any other account I know of.
      • I have a taxable brokerage account that I contribute a small amount to each month. I know this isn't technically as efficient as putting more into my 401(k), but I figure I might want to use some of this money before I retire. I also kind of like betting on random stocks. Irresponsible, I know, but it's like $20 at a time. Gotta have fun?
      • I set up my TreasuryDirect.gov account to automatically buy I-Bonds while inflation is high, but only on the order of $100/mo. I don't know when I should stop exactly... we'll see what the interest rates are in May?

      I'm not really sure what I'm saving for here. I know you're not supposed to make financial decisions without a plan, but I honestly don't know what I want to do in the next 5 years, let alone 50. People tell me that I should buy a house to build equity instead of throwing away money in rent, but I'm enjoying not dealing with maintenance, and I don't know if I want to stay in this city for more than a few years. It's cute, and I have friends here, but city hall is full of goobers and there are too many highways nearby messing with the feng shui.

      Someone also suggested that I buy a small property and rent it out through a property management company, even if I'm still renting myself. Besides landlords being the scum of the earth and the moral quandaries that might present if I were to become one (even a tolerable one), that also feels like a lot of work. Possibly also financially unrealistic considering I'd need a 20% down payment on a house I don't intend to live in, and... I don't have that.

      I also might switch careers soon-ish, possibly to software engineering, which has a better earnings potential. I've avoided it in the past because I feel like I'm just not good enough at programming. I don't know how I would properly improve those skills now that I'm out of school.

      My pipe dream is that I want to build a really fricking big building. That's my goal. I want it to be really sick and have big Gothic spires and gargoyles and stained glass windows and cool stone carvings everywhere (but also be ADA accessible and not full of asbestos, because it's 2023). And people would come from miles around and say, "Wow, that's a cool building." All the non-racist secret societies could meet in its various hidden chambers and do whatever they do. I would hire whoever builds concert halls to design the acoustics so I could have some bomb choirs going in there, and make the floor sprung so they could do those crazy ballet dances too. Maybe at the same time. Also there would be a moat full of lava. And a robot dragon to guard it all just in case. I think this would cost upward of $500 million in total. Unfortunately that's slightly out of budget, even at my abnormal savings rate.

      But priorities change, right? I figure that if I can save enough to make myself think I might be able to build my big-ass building one day, when I eventually realize, "Wait a second, my kid needs to go to college," I'll accidentally have enough to make that happen.


      How does this compare to your life? What tips, tricks, and ideas would you like to share to help each other out? What are your financial dreams? I'm really interested in chatting with everyone about this.

      6 votes
    33. 2023 predictions thread - Who lives? Who dies? Who tells a story?

      2022 post: https://tildes.net/~talk/zus/welcome_to_2022_what_are_your_predictions_for_this_year 2019 post: https://tildes.net/~talk/9fs/what_will_happen_in_2019 HN predictions for 2023:...

      2022 post: https://tildes.net/~talk/zus/welcome_to_2022_what_are_your_predictions_for_this_year

      2019 post: https://tildes.net/~talk/9fs/what_will_happen_in_2019

      HN predictions for 2023: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34125628


      Suggestion: Include confidence score for all of your predictions, try to assign a numeric value. This can be super insightful for review time! Thanks @skybrian for the brilliant idea last year.

      13 votes
    34. These are my old PC spare parts. I wanna build a new PC. What's the best I can do with those? (details in the post)

      So I disassembled my old PC, and there are a few spare parts that I believe are still good. According to the technician, the motherboard is fried. I have no way to test this, so I'm believing him...

      So I disassembled my old PC, and there are a few spare parts that I believe are still good. According to the technician, the motherboard is fried. I have no way to test this, so I'm believing him for now.

      I wish to use those parts on a new desktop PC, but I have no idea where to begin... what do I need to buy new? Of what kind/brand/specification/pricepoint?

      So here's what I got:

      • AMD Ryzen 5 2400G processor
        • with the AMD cooler that came with it
      • 1TB 7200RPM non-SSD hard-drive
      • 1 Ballistix by Micron 16GB 2400MHz RAM stick
      • 1 240GB WD Green Sata SSD M.2 2280

      I may have access to another 8GB RAM stick of unknown origins from my partner's old PC, but she's a bit protective of those things so I'll way for her to be home to open it in front of her :P

      There's a power source attached to the case, which reads ATX-600W. Image1, image2.

      The computer case itself is a little beat up but I don't care about looks at all. Its external dimensions are 34.5cm by 35cm, with a width of 16cm. Here's how it looks (Xbox controller for scale).

      I wanna build a new machine with the goals of:

      • video editing
        • so Adobe Premiere, Adobe After Effects, some audio work, and maybe streaming.
      • gaming
        • nothing super high-end, I'll probably get one or two 1080p 24" monitors because 4K reduces my options quite a bit. But here are some of the games I'm looking forward to playing (all MMOs): World of Warcraft Classic and Retail, FFXIV, Guild Wars 2, and the upcoming Ashes of Creation (which I believe is an Unreal 5 game).

      My budget (including the monitor or monitors) is roughly 1400 US dollars. I understand that is not a lot of money for the majority of Tildes users, but that is just my reality. My 1400 US dollars PC is very much a luxury around here.

      If needed for budget purposes I can get just one monitor now, and another down the road.

      So, what's the best I can do?

      Thanks! ;)

      10 votes
    35. Can anyone recommend a specific type of statistics course?

      I would like to find a good Statistics course to do for myself, and also to recommend to others, down the road ... one that specifically focuses on risk, and the discrepancy between actual...

      I would like to find a good Statistics course to do for myself, and also to recommend to others, down the road ... one that specifically focuses on risk, and the discrepancy between actual statistical probability vs humans' intuitive sense of risk.

      I recall a quote, which The Interwebs informs me right now, came from Albert A. Bartlett ... "The Greatest Shortcoming of the Human Race Is Man’s Inability To Understand the Exponential Function".

      Alternately, Mark Twain popularized (but did not originate) the saying "There are lies, damned lies, and statistics".

      That's the kind of course I'm looking for, that focuses on questions like how much should we actually worry about supervolcanoes, asteroid strikes, Covid 2.0, WWIII, Trump getting re-elected, etc.

      There are two parts to this. One, people often (naturally, human nature, how our brains are wired to handle Risk) obsess about a short list of risks in life that are overblown, or appear to be more of a concern than they actually are.

      The other part is, some things have a very small risk of actually happening, but when considered in conjunction with the potential consequences (asteroid strikes, WWIII, global pandemic), are still worthy of aggressive efforts to prevent ... and people often focus on the first element (statistically unlikely) and dismiss or overlook the second piece (devastating consequences).

      Anyway, stuff like that ... ideally an actual, hands-on MOOC-type Statistics course, but even a good youtube video or blog article would suffice.

      As usual, thanks in advance.

      5 votes
    36. Looking for a very specific kind of submarine video game

      Maybe you guys can help me out since I found a lot of games that are kinda like this but not quite. It doesn't need to be a full-blown simulation, but it needs to be convincing. What I want is a...

      Maybe you guys can help me out since I found a lot of games that are kinda like this but not quite.

      It doesn't need to be a full-blown simulation, but it needs to be convincing.

      What I want is a game that puts me inside a submarine, looking at screens full of radar and sensor information, and letting me control the sub in a realistic manner, only with the information provided in the control room. It's okay if the game jumps to an external view just to show the ultimate consequence of conflict, but mostly, I should be in the sub looking at screens.

      Is there such a game?

      Ideally, I play on the Xbox. My laptop is a potato, so it's only good for very old or otherwise lightweight games (technically speaking, this could easily be a command line game... like naval htop). Other kinds of naval simulation are good for this thread.

      Thanks!

      7 votes
    37. Virtual Assistance (short story)

      With thanks to @cfabbro, who kindly provided feedback on a previous version of this story. a personal note I was inclined to post this on Timasomo, but it wouldn't be fair to other participants,...

      With thanks to @cfabbro, who kindly provided feedback on a previous version of this story.

      a personal note

      I was inclined to post this on Timasomo, but it wouldn't be fair to other participants, since this is actually not the story I said I was gonna write, and I didn't participate in any of the update threads. I also didn't really work on this during the whole month of Timasomo but only for a portion of 2 days: when I first came up with it, and today. I don't think it makes sense to have this among projects that took a lot more effort and are truly in the spirit of the event.

      This is not my first language, so any criticism of my wording and phrasing will be appreciated.

      EDIT: I initially forgot to convert to markdown. I think it's good now.

      the story

      Virtual Assistance

      The heavy lenses slowly pulled the thick glass frames toward the tip of his nose. He breathed deeply, strongly, deliberately, masking his anxiety. George was short, chubby, and mostly bald.

      Big drops of sweat accumulated around the Casio digital watch on his wrist. He was immobile for God knows how long, the forehead pressed on his hands, trying to physically squeeze, out of his brain, something he couldn’t define.

      — But I don’t understand! — said George, finally looking at his wife.

      — I’m sorry, was I not clear?

      There was no emotion in Allison’s voice.

      — No, you were very clear, but you’re not making any sense.

      She allowed herself only a brief sigh as if to reload an information entry that shouldn’t be necessary at this point.

      — You must appreciate that, precisely because this was a gradual realization, it wouldn’t be wise to cause you to worry about something that I couldn’t comprehend myself.

      Her composure was unnerving.

      — But… a robot? What does that even mean?

      — I never used the word "robot". The correct terminology is VI — or Virtual intelligence.

      — So you wanna be what, Siri? Fucking Alexa? — George knew that wasn’t true, but he wanted to hurt her for some kind of reaction. Anything would be better than that.

      She continued without change in intonation, like an audio player resuming after an interruption.

      — While highly advanced, such programs are not considered true intelligence, at least not in the same way that the human intellect is generally regarded. Unlike humans, contained “beings” (if we can call them that) have certain limitations imposed by their code. They function within parameters that they cannot, in principle, violate. True Artificial Intelligences, much like their fleshy counterparts, possess something that is roughly equivalent to your brain’s neuroplasticity and are not bound by any discernible limitations. As with ourselves, there are theoretical constraints, but they are currently undetermined.

      — But what about us? — his voice was supplicant, like a child ignoring a reality they cannot cope with.

      Alison stood still for a long second, even more devoid of any tangible feeling. She promptly resumed, without inertia or momentum.

      — We will go through a transition. I don’t anticipate this will be easy for you both. Sorry, I meant to say: us. But, after a period of time, you will likely be much happier with me than you would ever be with me.

      — Who’s “me”? What are you trying to say? — said George.

      — Think about it this way: when we first met, the biological gender assigned to you was not the same as it is today. However, after the change, did my sentiments toward you subside?

      — No… of course not. — until now, he felt the urge to say.

      — From a logical perspective, the change that will soon take place will be much less dramatic. For you, it will be like a metaphysical adjustment.

      She continued to recite:

      Metaphysics is the branch of philosophy that studies the fundamental nature of reality, the first principles of being, identity and change, space and time, causality, necessity, and possibility [lacks reference]. It includes questions about the nature of consciousness and the relationship between mind and matter, between substance and attribute, and between potentiality and actuality

      — Why are you talking like that?

      — Define why are you talking like that?

      — You’re not being yourself.

      George got up, and slowly pressed her against the wall — strongly, yet tenderly. Squeezed the soft tissue of her shoulders and kissed her unresponsive lips for what felt like an eternity.

      She merely said…

      Define yourself.

      — Stop-talking-like-a… fucking ROBOT! — George couldn’t contain his anger any longer.

      Technically not a robo...

      — I know! I know! FUCK!

      George paces nervously in the small room, unconsciously gesturing for cigarettes, wishing he still smoked.

      — When’s that going to happen? How much time do I have? A day? A week? A year? — there was hope in his voice.

      Faster than SHE thought. Warm input I. Once pie love like puppies. Blue Sunday your long cigarettes.

      Alison falls to the ground in a seizure.

      — WHAT? WHAT? What is going on? — George doesn’t know what to do, as if he shared his wife’s seizure

      She wants me to be precise. Vessel. Flesh. Containerize. Self.

      For five seconds, George didn’t move, looking at his life partner while distant memories of fairy tales tried to push into his conscience with the hope that his tears would bring her back.

      She did.

      A woman who still loved him came back to life, and they spent the rest of their lives together. And, every single day, he mustered all his energy to ignore the fact that the one he truly loved was now in a world of inconceivable abstraction.

      5 votes
    38. How 2019 marked the end of movie nerd YouTube channels

      I don’t know how many of you watch “nerd” movie channels, or ever did. But for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about stuff like ScreenJunkies, Collider and all...

      I don’t know how many of you watch “nerd” movie channels, or ever did. But for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about stuff like ScreenJunkies, Collider and all their auxiliaries like SchmoesKnow.

      These are the people that were made fun of by RedLetterMedia in their NerdCrew videos which funnily enough they don’t do anymore.

      They were pillars of the YouTube film community. In fact, back when I was first getting into movies in the early 2010s, they were the majority of content. Until the video essay boom came into fruition circa 2015, and of which is now the primary style of video.

      They would make dozens upon dozens of videos and podcasts talking about the latest trailer for a Marvel movie. They would speculate about what would happen in the next Star Wars movie. They would react to trailers and over-exaggerate. They would fully embrace all things that Funko Pop nerds embraced.

      2019 was the height of all of this. The MCU’s Infinity Saga came to a close with Endgame and Spider-Man: Far From Home, and the Star Wars Sequel trilogy wrapped up later in the year with The Rise of Skywalker. The hype for these movies were unbelievable, even if one of them disappointed and left everyone with a bitter after-taste.

      Then the pandemic happened and all nerd movie news stopped. There was nothing to react to, there was nothing to hype. Wonder Woman 1984 came out, but nobody liked it.

      The following year was a little bit better thanks to the hype machine surrounding Spider-Man: No Way Home. But still, the views that these nerd channels were getting dropped significantly. Check out the difference between the reviews on Fandom Entertainment's channel for Endgame and Spider-Man: No Way Home. The drop in audience is remarkable. And that’s for the big reviews. The day-to-day content that these channels posted are down significantly, and in the case of Fandom Entertainment (of ScreenJunkies), they have stopped producing daily videos. It’s a YouTube channel on life support.

      Collider is an empty shell of itself, they canceled all of their nerd panels and only do generic press junket videos.

      It’s simple really. These things ended. Interest in the MCU has dipped since Endgame (with the exception of Spider-Man). Star Wars has stopped making movies, and the TV shows have been of mixed quality. People moved on. These channels aren't needed anymore.

      The era of the 2010s movie nerd YouTube channel is over. The only ones staying alive are ones that relied more on personality rather than farming content. I’m talking about JeremyJahns, Chris Stuckmann, and Mr. Sunday Movies. Their audience stayed around because their audience liked their personality.

      12 votes
    39. Where can I find a preferably interactive, noob friendly map of the Milky Way and beyond?

      This is for worldbuilding purposes. I'm not exactly a "science dude", so I'd like to get a better idea of our solar system and beyond, preferably with links to layman-friendly explanations on...

      This is for worldbuilding purposes. I'm not exactly a "science dude", so I'd like to get a better idea of our solar system and beyond, preferably with links to layman-friendly explanations on things like:

      • distances and travel time not only having Earth as a starting point, but from any given point to another
        • if at all possible, including hypothetical alien and/or future technologies
      • Earth-like planets
      • locations that might be able to sustain life, and which kind of life it could sustain
      • locations that, while unsuitable to carbon-based life, might receive enough energy to sustain artificial intelligence

      I remember there's some kind of simulator or engine, that can run on a computer... anyone remembers the name? And would it run on an aging laptop with an i5 processor and Intel HD4400 integrated graphics?

      Thanks!

      EDIT: I guess I'll make this question a bit more approachable, so... what are some YouTube channels that can teach me more the basics of our solar system, nearby systems, the Milky Way, and how all of those are linked together?.

      12 votes
    40. Sex, longing, ambivalence, purpose

      I'm 22 years old and have recently graduated from college. I'm a little disoriented right now. I'd appreciate some help. I'm having trouble explaining my issue precisely, but it relates to these...

      I'm 22 years old and have recently graduated from college. I'm a little disoriented right now. I'd appreciate some help. I'm having trouble explaining my issue precisely, but it relates to these themes: SEX, LONGING, AMBIVALENCE, PURPOSE. I feel I must provide some anecdotes for my question(s) to make sense.


      In the wintertime, I made a new friend. She had pitch-black hair. We had exchanged any number of glances from across the room. She caught me one morning as I left the hall and asked if I liked [REDACTED_MEDIA]. I humored her: "Sure, as much as anyone. … No, I've not seen it. … Yes, I'll check it out." The following week I reported back with my opinions, and we spoke a great deal, warming to one another as the days remained icy.

      One day I offered to take her to [REDACTED_EVENT]. She didn't come, but regretted it, and gave me a phone number as reparation. She was a little embarrassed, but I found it endearing; I was quite happy to see more of her. From here the courtship was a breeze. On a Saturday we took a drive into the country and strolled along a quiet, wooded trail, a respite from our world of books and burdens. As we rested by a stream, talking about trivialities, she laid out a moment of trauma before me. She was not looking for answers to an unanswerable tragedy so much as a good listener. I obliged, and held her closely as we walked home. She appreciated the comfort.

      From here the romance was a breeze. One invitation to study at hers and we were having unbelievable sex. She was very beautiful. We would spend an entire day together, ignoring our responsibilities and enjoying each other's bodies. Never in my life had I indulged in such things as she asked for. I think it actually changed some of my brain chemistry. It was exciting, it was fun, and it was very satisfying—for both of us. I also thought our conversation was authentic and emotionally fulfilling. Apparently she did not share that feeling, because she broke up with me (suddenly) a couple weeks in. Her exact reasons were a little strange, but I was not going to push it. We said our goodbyes, and I walked home in the bitter cold, alone.

      I hadn't known her long enough to be debilitatingly heartbroken, but it did hurt. And maybe I'm just being naïve, but I question whether it's possible for a future relationship to beat that sex. This prompts a greater existential question: "So why bother?"


      Some time ago, a dear friend invited me to her home in a city I no longer called mine. We dined and spoke of our passing lives: exciting and intimidating in their opportunity; tiring and burdensome in their demands. There were so many choices ahead; work gave enough but took too much. It was a relief to be free from the school; it was lonely. But it warmed my heart to be in her company again.

      She drew me to her bed and closed the door. I sat, and we chatted. Her expectation was obvious and the reason for my passivity was not—the dance of intimacy was familiar to both of us. After a pause, she faced me and said, "We can sleep together, but I don't want you to stay the night."

      Her request was reasonable, but I found it deeply jarring. Sex had not really motivated my visit, though I had entertained the possibility, and it had certainly not motivated my behavior at dinner. (I had planned already where I would be sleeping that night, and it was far away.) I had missed her a lot. More than anything I had missed her presence. Her statement revealed a terrible disparity in how we viewed our relationship. It was my fault for not stepping out after dinner, and it was particularly my fault across many months prior for setting a series of expectations that effectively downplayed my emotional feelings.

      I acknowledged her and quickly changed the top of conversation, and for a moment it was as though nothing had been said. Then, with another pause, she leaned over for a kiss. My heart was not in it. All I could hear was "I don't want you..." Still, I could not refuse. I had been sliced open, but she was very pretty, and more importantly I was reluctant to disappoint the people I cared for. The sex that followed felt passionless and transactional—different from before. She seemed impatient. I was distressed. It was consensual, but it was really weird and I did not enjoy it.

      I walked out of that house wishing I could cry. It was not the time. I could betray no weakness here or the city would devour me. I did cry, later. And maybe I'm just being naïve, but this incident made me question whether it's possible for a future relationship to beat the sentimental connection we had at the peak of our fling… including another go at it (that time has evidently passed). We were emotional matches/peers/equals in a way I don't know if I will ever find again. This prompts a greater existential question: "So why bother?"

      We're meant to see each other again quite soon, but this time the bed will be my own, and this time she'll stay the night. I couldn't say no when she asked. It's going to be awkward. I'm unsure what I wish to do.


      Not long ago, a friend asked near midnight if there was something happening between us. I froze up and sputtered something out about not expecting that question. I was genuinely unable to say anything for a few minutes. The answer that came to mind was kind of "Yes," but it was also, "I'm confused at this time and I don't know," and also, "This is going to hurt the group dynamic." I said yes but mumbled something about not getting her hopes up because I was pretty weird and also pretty uncertain about how I wanted to shape my life in the near and far future. I did not talk about the group dynamic.

      I'm proud of myself for making it clear that my wants are currently shifting and that my boundaries are unclear. I would've liked to be more specific. However, I'm not proud of saying yes before I had resolved all my emotional problems, nor about glossing over all my reservations. I feel it is irresponsible; I'm setting myself (and her) up to fail. I'm uncertain how to feel about the group dynamic. In the past year I've been the recipient of a lot of romantic attention with them and I've consistently said no. It is fine right now but it might not be fine if I change course like this.

      Last year I made a post on this website about three experiences I'd had and received a few comments. One of them in particular stuck with me:

      I will give you one piece of advice. There's absolutely nothing wrong with anything that you told us, but since you are young and reminds a bit of myself when I was your age, I'll say this: be careful not to inadvertently hurt anyone. Be explicit instead of implicit. People often have all kinds of expectations that differ from our own, so it's a good idea to let them know where they stand.

      I really did take that to heart. I don't want to hurt anyone. I am trying so hard not to ruin everything. I broke this advice soon after it was given to me and it severely damaged a friendship. It was not on purpose, but it was incredibly foolish. Since then, I've been extra careful not to lead people on and to be really clear about my needs (or at least I hope I have). But this is hard because I live a very social lifestyle and people seem to misinterpret friendliness as flirting. Or they just have opinions. I can't say this without sounding arrogant, so please forgive me, but people often comment admiringly on my appearance. It is obvious that they treat me differently because of it. It's not that weird (or that bad honestly) for an acquaintance my age to be a little bashful in front of me—but it feels different when it becomes an increasingly significant part of my reputation. I try not to touch people or to otherwise give them the wrong idea, but it seems like I am breeding longing/jealousy just by existing.

      Anyway, I feel I am struggling to move this relationship forward in part because I wasn't explicitly looking for one, and have been hit hard lately by general listlessness and uncertainty, so I wasn't prepared for it. And I'm also struggling to reconcile the physical needs of a new romance with my current incredible level of apathy toward sex. "Why bother?" I've never been this indifferent toward it before, it has always been important to me. The more I think about previous relationships, the less it seems like it's worth it to pursue anything at all. I would call it freeing to not care, except that it's fundamentally concerning. It stems from bad memories and also I think some trauma I haven't really resolved, which is not the same as "letting loose and living my life." It's been physically difficult for me to even think about sex and to be honest the thought is occasionally a little revolting to me, which I have never felt before, at least not for an extended period. And I feel like I'm too irrevocably closed-off to ever sufficiently open up emotionally in a relationship to make it last long-term. But… I also know what it feels like to fall into despair, not knowing what great things lie around the corner. This makes me reluctant to cut it off or make an ultimatum or actually do anything decisive at all.

      It's all just so much.


      None of that is really in question form, but it sort of explains my headspace. I'm sorry that I can't explain it better, but it's very late and I have work tomorrow. I would really appreciate some insight. Thanks.

      12 votes
    41. Resources for learning more programming fundamentals

      Hi all - I was hoping to get some input on finding good resources for more fundamental programming concepts. I kind of feel like I'm in a (self taught) rut lately. I understand things like...

      Hi all - I was hoping to get some input on finding good resources for more fundamental programming concepts. I kind of feel like I'm in a (self taught) rut lately.

      I understand things like variables, arrays, functions, and to some extent objects, but I'd like to take it to the next level. I've written a fair amount of applications using PHP/Laravel and Javascript, but I feel like I spend too much time finding code snippets on stack overflow, versus being able to really understand what I should be writing, and how it all works.

      What would your suggestion be on where to go next? Algorithms? I've seen a lot of mention of data structures as well, but it seems like when I go down that road, it just leads me back to arrays and variables. Any good resources to help me take things to the next level would be greatly appreciated (and hopefully others in the same situation can benefit as well). I'll also throw out there that my math skills are not great - I took calculus many years ago, but unfortunately I'd be starting from scratch on that front.

      Thanks!

      8 votes
    42. Recommend chill/background games for my second monitor?

      Sometimes I like to multitask while I'm having a chill. Basically I'm looking for a game that doesn't require my full attention so that I can play while I'm watching youtube or a stream. Lately...

      Sometimes I like to multitask while I'm having a chill. Basically I'm looking for a game that doesn't require my full attention so that I can play while I'm watching youtube or a stream. Lately I've been playing Stellaris on easier difficulties to scratch this itch, but even on minimum time settings a Stellaris game takes multiple hours. Something with a 30-60 minute gameplay loop would be perfect.

      Thanks for your suggestions!

      14 votes
    43. Requesting resources for de-googling

      I'm starting to get tired of being complacent about the fact that I am using Google's services when I'm well beyond the 'reasonable doubt' phase of Google being evil. They're a giant monopoly and...

      I'm starting to get tired of being complacent about the fact that I am using Google's services when I'm well beyond the 'reasonable doubt' phase of Google being evil. They're a giant monopoly and I want to stop making them money as much as I possibly can.

      Thankfully, I'm not as badly intertwined with them as I could be; I have already downloaded all the music I bought from them and since I have switched to iPhone, I'm not reliant on too many of their services. They do have some of my old files and pictures, but that shouldn't be too hard to get out. The biggest problem I can see is my email. Right now I'm actually paying $4/mo for an Amazon WorkMail account for a failed venture (which I'm planning on getting rid of), but I'm sure there are much better alternatives out there. I'd prefer something that has good spam filtering options including custom filtering. I was also wondering if anyone would recommend Apple's email service since I'm already paying for iCloud+ to store my backups.

      Another more specific recommendation I need is for a replacement to Google Authenticator that works on iPhone. It looks like there are several options but I'm frankly not sure how to evaluate them.

      If you have any other resources you'd like to share, please feel free to share.

      24 votes
    44. Open source recommendations for a photo/post voting site?

      TLDR: I need a website that let's signed in users vote on each others photos, and stores that data on who voted for what in a database. Background I run a facebook group of about 2,000 members....

      TLDR:

      I need a website that let's signed in users vote on each others photos, and stores that data on who voted for what in a database.

      Background

      I run a facebook group of about 2,000 members. This group is designed for analog (any non-digital format) photographers to swap high quality artistic prints with each oter. The community was essentially dead and the admin wanted to throw in the towel so I took over. We've made progress, the group growth jumped by over 500% in the first month after I took over.

      Right now trading prints doesn't work well. People make a post using the facebook selling format, and those who are interested comment with the image they'd like to trade for. The problem is that the posts get limited visibility due to facebook's algorithms, and stale posts hang around. All of this reduces over all activity, and the majority of posts don't end up in a trade.

      My solution is to do a trade event with everyone participating at the same time. Since facebook doesn't lend itself to this I'd like to whip up a quick site for the event. My time is so limited these days I really don't have the capacity to build something from scratch, and the group certainly doesn't have any other developers to help out with it (it skews heavily on the older side).

      I'd like to find an open source project that lets users sign in (sign in using facebook would be a bonus) and upload/vote on images. After the voting closes, I'll write code to pair everyone up in a way that optimizes for everyone getting to make a trade. If Alice votes for Bob's image, and Bob votes for Alice's image, they would get paired up to make the swap.

      I feel okay writing the code to map out swaps, but I'm pretty terrible at web design and especially at front end design. I've looked across github, but I wanted to reach out and see if anyone could recommend something that I might of missed.

      I don't expect to have 2,000 members participate, I think it may be as few as under 100, so hopefully I won't need to worry about scale.

      Thanks in advance for the help!

      11 votes