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    1. I guess this whole time I was a small minority - enjoying working in person

      I’m a software engineer. Any time this topic comes up it’s clear I’m the odd one out. Recruiters will tell me “don’t worry, we’re fully remote!” but that’s not what I want to hear. Co-workers that...

      I’m a software engineer. Any time this topic comes up it’s clear I’m the odd one out. Recruiters will tell me “don’t worry, we’re fully remote!” but that’s not what I want to hear. Co-workers that are mandated to return to office go on a quiet rebellion to stay at home (and to be clear, I love that they are displaying the power that laborers have even without a union). But for me the quality of the work is lower when remote. Video calls suck and are emotionally draining. Collaboration is core to doing work for me. Sure I can close tickets just fine from home. But what if I’m there to wrap my head around the entire system and all of the people involved in it?

      A few things I’m aware of that influence my opinion here:

      • I don’t have kids
      • I am comfortable asserting my free time. I take plenty of time off and typically work six hour days, never with any push back from anyone. I can usually get much more done in six hours than is asked of me
      • Programming is my dream job

      Thankfully I am still able to find fully in-person opportunities around me. So this is really just a matter of understanding the rest of the labor market. I don’t need to or want to change anyone’s mind here.

      46 votes
    2. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      3 votes
    3. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like cuisine.american, grammar and incels. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like cuisine.american, grammar and incels. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was bamboozled.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      12 votes
    4. What creative projects have you been working on?

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on. Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just...

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

      Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

      If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

      9 votes
    5. Weekly megathread for news/updates/discussion of Russian invasion of Ukraine - October 12

      This thread is posted weekly on Thursday - please try to post relevant content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Especially significant updates may warrant a separate topic,...

      This thread is posted weekly on Thursday - please try to post relevant content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Especially significant updates may warrant a separate topic, but most should be posted here.

      If you'd like to help support Ukraine, please visit the official site at https://help.gov.ua/ - an official portal for those who want to provide humanitarian or financial assistance to people of Ukraine, businesses or the government at the times of resistance against the Russian aggression.

      16 votes
    6. Weekly US politics news and updates thread - week of October 9

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate...

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate topic, but almost all should be posted in here.

      This is an inherently political thread; please try to avoid antagonistic arguments and bickering matches. Comment threads that devolve into unproductive arguments may be removed so that the overall topic is able to continue.

      7 votes
    7. Save Point: A game deal roundup for the week of 8 October 2023

      Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week! Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle...

      Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week!

      Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle are most worth my attention?”

      Rules:

      • No grey market sales
      • No affiliate links
      • Each deal must include a short statement of why you think the game/games are worthwhile, or a question to the community about the game/games

      If you don’t want to see threads in this series, add save point to your personal tag filters.

      27 votes
    8. Timasomo 2023: Week 1 Updates

      Update us on your progress so far! What did/didn't you get done this week? Anything go according to plan? Anything go off the rails? Any successes or struggles to share? Do you need feedback or...

      Update us on your progress so far!

      • What did/didn't you get done this week?

      • Anything go according to plan?

      • Anything go off the rails?

      • Any successes or struggles to share?

      • Do you need feedback or help on anything?

      This is your topic to share anything and everything you want about what you’ve made so far.

      30 votes
    9. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      8 votes
    10. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like data.user, litigation and politicians. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like data.user, litigation and politicians. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was nosy.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      13 votes
    11. Why is Popeyes so good?

      I love fried chicken sandwiches. I have loads of fast food options as well as one off restaurants around me that offer fried chicken sandwiches, some that it is their claim to fame. It doesn’t...

      I love fried chicken sandwiches. I have loads of fast food options as well as one off restaurants around me that offer fried chicken sandwiches, some that it is their claim to fame. It doesn’t seem to matter where I go in search of the best fried chicken sandwiches, or how much money I spend, Popeyes is always the best.

      Two topics to start discussion:

      1. What is your favourite fried chicken place where you live? Bonus points if you live around Vancouver, BC, Canada and can introduce me to a new favourite chicken place.

      2. What does Popeyes do to get such consistency across all locations, and why the heck is it so good?

      30 votes
    12. Weekly megathread for news/updates/discussion of Russian invasion of Ukraine - October 5

      This thread is posted weekly on Thursday - please try to post relevant content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Especially significant updates may warrant a separate topic,...

      This thread is posted weekly on Thursday - please try to post relevant content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Especially significant updates may warrant a separate topic, but most should be posted here.

      If you'd like to help support Ukraine, please visit the official site at https://help.gov.ua/ - an official portal for those who want to provide humanitarian or financial assistance to people of Ukraine, businesses or the government at the times of resistance against the Russian aggression.

      23 votes
    13. Possible solution for the perennial "what app" issue

      So, I think I may have a grand solution to this problem and this also extends to similar forums. There's an app called "Friendly Social Browser" and its purpose is to give you one optimized "app"...

      So, I think I may have a grand solution to this problem and this also extends to similar forums. There's an app called "Friendly Social Browser" and its purpose is to give you one optimized "app" where you can add your sites and social sites you want to keep easily accessible and be able to navigate them conveniently and have everything in one place so you can easily "channel-surf" while maintaining overall context.

      It also improves the rendering and allows you to tweak things to your liking. I would suggest it if you can get used to it since it feels a bit more stable than a random unoptimized browser, but its still true to the actual design of Tildes' web format and doesn't really depart from it in any appreciable way other than augmenting its stabillity.

      Obviously there's Three Cheers and Surfboard (which is beautiful) but Friendly is a surprisingly pleasant and effective lateral answer to this question and I would encourage folks struggling with this topic to investigate it further and give it a try if possible.

      15 votes
    14. Weekly US politics news and updates thread - week of October 2

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate...

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate topic, but almost all should be posted in here.

      This is an inherently political thread; please try to avoid antagonistic arguments and bickering matches. Comment threads that devolve into unproductive arguments may be removed so that the overall topic is able to continue.

      11 votes
    15. AlbumLove recommendations topic: October 2023

      Choose one album that you love that you think deserves more love Tell us what it is, and why. Previous posts in series Additional Details Why AlbumLove? In this day and age, algorithmic...

      Choose one album
      that you love
      that you think deserves more love

      Tell us what it is, and why.


      Previous posts in series


      Additional Details

      Why AlbumLove?

      In this day and age, algorithmic recommendations for music are easy to come by, and it's trivial to seek out new music that interests you by searching online. AlbumLove offers an opportunity to sift through music loved by others, including those who might have divergent tastes from you. Think of this as an opportunity to listen outside of your comfort zone, with music that you know someone else adores, from a small pool of thoughtful hand-selected options.

      What do I post?

      Any album that you love and that you feel deserves more appreciation. There are no restrictions on genre, year, or anything else, and nothing is “too popular” or “too niche”. If you think it needs more love — for whatever reason — then it’s welcome in AlbumLove.

      Name the artist and the album, and then, most importantly, share what you love about the album. It could be the music itself, but it could also be your associations with it -- maybe the album reminds you of someone you love, or you saw the band live and got a new appreciation for the studio songs.

      Also, commenting on others' recommendations is encouraged! If you love something that someone else shared, let them know!

      Do I have to listen to what everyone else posts?

      Nope. You don't have to listen to anything if you don't want to. This is about creating a menu of options that people can explore as they wish.

      Can I post more than one album in a month?

      Nope. Limit one! This helps us be more selective about what we choose, as well as preventing the threads from getting flooded with too many contributions to keep track of.

      Why albums and not songs/artists?

      I like albums. :)

      Seriously though, I feel like it's a very different thing to like an album as a whole versus a few songs or just an artist's general vibe. I like the idea of quantizing music for appreciation in the same way we might do with books or movies.

      What about EPs?

      Fair game!

      8 votes
    16. Weekly game deals megathread: 1 October 2023

      Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week! Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle...

      Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week!

      Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle are most worth my attention?”

      Rules:

      • No grey market sales
      • No affiliate links
      • Each deal must include a short statement of why you think the game/games are worthwhile, or a question to the community about the game/games

      If you don’t want to see threads like this, add deals or sale to your personal tag filters.

      9 votes
    17. Modern controls are needlessly convoluted

      Now the topic may be inflammatory, so let me walk it back and say "in some cases" - let me explain; Just got me this gamepad and I absolutely adore it - for folks not wanting to click on a link,...

      Now the topic may be inflammatory, so let me walk it back and say "in some cases" - let me explain;

      Just got me this gamepad and I absolutely adore it - for folks not wanting to click on a link, think of it as a fancy SNES pad.

      I got it as a fightpad and for that it is marvelous - and while I have no intentions of playing a 3d action game with it, I booted up some 2d indies and platformers to take it for a spin ... and realized that apparently, 6 buttons + dpad just aren't enough anymore.

      Since when do you need to have a light and hard attack as separate buttons? And need an analogue stick on top of the dpad to navigate through inventory? The amount of "simple" games needing to use all the buttons on the modern controller - without a viable alternative - is ridiculous.

      Yes, there are some workarounds but just wanted to vent.

      I'm installing some random titles from my backlog (I have 800+ on my backlog through bundle deals, giveaways, etc.) and it's a crapshoot, not in my favor.

      Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

      Edit: Yes I realize the modern controller is standardized to the "two sticks + pad + 4 face buttons + 4 shoulder buttons" design; what I'm saying is that while for some game that design is essential, a lot of other games use up all the buttons without a baked-in viable alternative, or worse yet, use buttons for the sake of using buttons!

      25 votes
    18. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      8 votes
    19. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like automotive industry, enshittification and donald trump. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like automotive industry, enshittification and donald trump. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was unclear.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      12 votes
    20. What creative projects have you been working on?

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on. Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just...

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

      Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

      If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

      13 votes
    21. Weekly megathread for news/updates/discussion of Russian invasion of Ukraine - September 28

      This thread is posted weekly on Thursday - please try to post relevant content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Especially significant updates may warrant a separate topic,...

      This thread is posted weekly on Thursday - please try to post relevant content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Especially significant updates may warrant a separate topic, but most should be posted here.

      If you'd like to help support Ukraine, please visit the official site at https://help.gov.ua/ - an official portal for those who want to provide humanitarian or financial assistance to people of Ukraine, businesses or the government at the times of resistance against the Russian aggression.

      10 votes
    22. Weekly US politics news and updates thread - week of September 25

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate...

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate topic, but almost all should be posted in here.

      This is an inherently political thread; please try to avoid antagonistic arguments and bickering matches. Comment threads that devolve into unproductive arguments may be removed so that the overall topic is able to continue.

      6 votes
    23. Why am I becoming a teacher?

      First of all, this is a lot about me and myself and I'm sorry it's a bit self-centered; it's been bouncing around my head and I want to get it out somewhere. Please let me know if this isn't...

      First of all, this is a lot about me and myself and I'm sorry it's a bit self-centered; it's been bouncing around my head and I want to get it out somewhere. Please let me know if this isn't appropriate here.

      Secondly, teachers or those in training to become one: I want to hear your thoughts on this question.

      Why am I becoming a teacher?

      I've been finding that I'm asking this question of myself a lot lately. My goal is and always has been the same for years: I want to teach, I feel good teaching, I feel I have a purpose and that purpose has been what's driven me forward when I wanted to give up. Truly though - why do I want to be a teacher?

      I could do the same style of work in other settings. I could become a tutor, self-employed or otherwise, and assist students in a specific capacity. I could be a YouTuber, creating video essays on self-researched subjects of passion. I could be a writer, bringing the same content through literature to a wholly different audience. In all of these, there is the potential to make more money, reach a wider audience, and leave a more indelible impact upon the world.

      So, why am I becoming a teacher?

      15 years ago, I dropped out of college, suffering depression. I wasn't the only one depressed; aside from the millions of others reeling from mental health issues, the economy was entering a recession in 2008. I was a NEET - jobless, out of school, and seemingly stuck. My family (read: my dad, stepmom, and sisters) had abandoned me - they had other matters to worry about than their wayward son - and I was fortunate my mother whom I'd dissociated from years before reached out to me. With her help, I got back on my feet, moved across the country, and began looking for work with slight hope. I volunteered one day to read at the school she worked at, and the teacher in the room went to the admins and demanded I be hired on the spot. I was.

      Thus began a journey of discovery. I was good at something, and I felt good about doing it. I felt something to replace my depression and self doubt: worthiness.

      Over the years, I honed my craft and continued sporadically attending school - when I could afford it - in order to become able to lead my own classroom in our private school/daycare. That was 7 years ago, and I've been teaching prek (4-5 year olds) since then. I'm able to teach reading, writing, mathematics, chess, life lessons, history, biology, astronomy, geology, entomology... the list goes on and on. I have a passion for learning, and for sharing that learning.

      Is that why I am becoming a teacher?

      The biggest obstacle to achieving my ultimate dream - teaching in public schools - was always the degree. I had dropped out of college twice - in 2008 and again in 2013 - before finally completing an Associates degree in 2016. I felt that, financially, getting my bachelor's would never happen. Massive student loan debt (private debt north of $30k) and low wages in childcare meant I wasn't getting anywhere. Life changes though, and the stars aligned - the private debt was written off, I got out of defaulting on my federal loans, and just in time to qualify for a state program to get me in school again and have a full ride scholarship. It was happening!

      Now we live in a post-pandemic world... Do I still want to become a teacher?

      At first, attitudes were siding with teachers. There was sympathy for their struggles and worries, the low pay and high barrier to entry. That quickly changed, as it did for medical workers and others in the pandemic world. Teachers struggle more now than they have before. Fewer resources, more troubled students that desperately need help, more resistance from parents and communities trying to prove that teachers and schools aren't necessary in the way they have been, and more burnout and shortages across the nation.

      I see all this and yet I press on. Why?

      The thing is, I'm not sure. My resolve is strong and I've been persistent and diligent in my schooling. I've worked too long and hard to give up this opportunity. Why do I still want to teach, though? Why not find an administrative job with potentially more pay and better work environment? Why not leave education altogether and use my skills elsewhere?

      It comes back to what drove me forward in the first place: purpose. I feel in direct connection with the future by doing what I do. I feel like in some miniscule, imperceptible, but meaningful way, I can help create a better world tomorrow by doing what I do today. It gives my life meaning, and nobody and nothing can take that from me. I've changed hundreds, potentially thousands, of lives already. Students return years later to tell how much I meant to them - these are students I had known at ages 4 and 5 who still remember me a decade later!

      So, why am I becoming a teacher?

      Because someone has to do it, and that someone might as well be me. I enjoy my work, I enjoy the ups and downs, I enjoy the struggles and challenges and overcoming them, I enjoy making difficult topics understandable to young minds, I enjoy what I do even when I hate it. To me, that's love.

      With good luck and a positive outlook, I'll be graduating with a degree in Early Childhood Education next September. It may not be prestigious, it may not make me a lot of money, but it will allow me to continue on the path I've set myself. Thanks for reading.

      26 votes
    24. Let's talk about friendships. What are some practices that help foster your most rewarding relationships?

      I find that while romantic relationships are quite specifically defined in our society, friendships don't seem to have the same universally understood characteristics or “road maps” for their...

      I find that while romantic relationships are quite specifically defined in our society, friendships don't seem to have the same universally understood characteristics or “road maps” for their development, so I find them interesting to discuss, especially considering the modern epidemic of loneliness many people are experiencing. Most people share the same understanding of what makes someone your romantic partner, but when does someone become your friend, vs. just an acquaintance? What makes someone a good friend or a bad friend - essentially, what can we expect from our friends, and what should we give in return?

      I remember a scene from the show “Love on the Spectrum” (a reality show about people with autism in the dating world) that stuck with me. One of the people on the show explained that because he didn't understand socialization very well naturally, he had taken it upon himself to study the psychology behind it for many years, to the point where he became quite a charming and socially capable guy. I'm not autistic, but I was homeschooled up to age 14. I believe it made me quite socially stunted, and I didn't really learn how to maintain friendships until my mid 20s. Instead of learning social skills naturally over building blocks in preschool, I was reading books and journaling about it as an adult. Looking back, I no longer resent it, because being forced to work on it like a skill seems to have benefited me in the long run, and after a very lonely early life, I now have many dear friends who bring me joy.


      I have a “system” of sorts that seems to work very well for me. There are three elements: consistency, vulnerability, and adaptability.

      #1. Consistency

      When people talk about their struggles with making or keeping friendships, this aspect is usually mentioned the most often. People are busy, schedules can get tight, and we all have a lot of things that get in the way of spending time with the people in our lives. Commonly, people aren't sure how often they should reach out to their friends, or worry that they are bothering someone who isn't interested in spending time with them. (Usually friends don't break up, after all, they just fade.) I think a lot of friendships are lost or missed because both people simply stop reaching out.

      I never take it personally when I ask someone to hang out once or twice and they don't respond, or it doesn't work out. I just give it some time and try again later, at least a few times. Also, I try to reach out without requiring much time or effort from the other person, like just messaging to tell them something that reminded me of them, without scheduling anything at the moment. It also helps to learn people’s preferred communication styles - some people might never respond to texts, but enjoy casual phone calls, or visa versa. Sometimes I miss my friends but I'm way too busy to do more socializing at the time, so I schedule something weeks or months in advance.

      Consistency can come in different forms, some people I see for short amounts of time each week, and others I only see a few times a year for quality time on a vacation. Both are good! Another part of consistency is making an effort to follow through on commitments - it's okay to cancel on friends a certain amount, but it's important to give notice and reschedule promptly.

      #2. Vulnerability

      A friendship needs consistency as a foundation, especially new ones. However, if you see someone every week and don't eventually learn personal things about each other, it can only go so far. And once you have introduced vulnerability, it can be difficult to find a balance. Many people worry about over sharing, and others struggle to recognize when they might be sharing too much. I try to match the energy of the person I'm interacting with. I don't come out swinging by mentioning my difficult religious upbringing and relationship with my parents (obviously,) instead, I ask people casual questions about their family, for example, and see what they're comfortable with sharing. When someone does share something vulnerable with me, I take note of it, and later on I tell them something of a similar nature about myself. Vulnerability is like a ladder - a ladder that is best climbed gradually.

      I find that men tend to struggle with vulnerability the most (perhaps to no one's surprise,) particularly in friendships between two men. A few months ago my husband found out that his mother had relapsed, and he mentioned that he wished he had a friend to talk to whose parent was also an addict. I told him that actually, one of our friends had a father who passed away from addiction, something I knew about him despite being friends with the guy for a shorter period of time, and I said maybe he should talk to him about it. Of course, this is a sensitive topic that some friends simply don't always share with each other, which is not necessarily a bad thing. But it got me curious about the likelihood of men sharing that information with each other, compared to a man sharing it with a woman, or to a woman sharing with another woman. Men and women alike have much to gain when we share vulnerable information with each other in a healthy way.

      (side note: I struggle with friendships with people who are very private, or are more likely to share after being prodded a bit. I ask questions, but I'm not likely to push someone who isn't giving a lot of information, so with shy people I sometimes struggle to bring the friendship to a closer place. Most of my closest friends are all extroverts, and I would like to figure out how to get to know my shy, quiet friends a bit better, without being invasive or too intense.)

      #3. Adaptability

      Where consistency is most important at the beginning of a new friendship, adaptability becomes more important later on, for the longevity of a friendship. An adaptive friendship can survive when people's interests, schedules, and circumstances change. If you know you can have a good time with someone in different environments, a friendship is more likely to survive when people move, change careers, have kids, generally grow older and more mature, etc.

      A good example is the fact that I had a lot of surface-level “festival friends” or “concert friends” in my mid 20s, and despite hanging out with them consistently for years, I'm not friends with most of them anymore. This is mostly because our tastes in music or hangout spots changed, and there was nothing else tethering or deepening our friendship, so when those things changed, it ended. On the flipside, most of my closest friends today actually are people who I met at festivals or parties, but it's because I've invested in those relationships and expanded them to exist beyond the circumstances that we met under. I can lose interest in going to electronic music festivals and not worry about losing the friends that I camp with there, because I make sure to pull those friends into my normal day to day life, by going hiking, cooking dinner, getting coffee, etc. I also try to do new things with friends, so we have a shared new experience together.

      Another example of adaptability is which social contexts you are in when you spend time together, as in, hanging out in group settings only, or getting together only when a mutual friend is there, vs. spending time 1:1. When I invite a friend of a friend to hang out with me without the original mutual friend, that's taking a step into a relationship that exists independently. I keep this in mind whenever one of my friends starts dating someone that I really get along with and make it a point to form my own friendship with that person, so if the relationship doesn't last, I have the opportunity to keep that person in my life.


      Maybe some of these things seem like common sense or human nature, but it certainly took me a while to recognize some of them. Whenever I meet someone I really get along with, I make sure to keep these principles in mind. And when I feel myself drifting away from a good friend, I think about which of the three elements could use some attention.

      What are your thoughts on cultivating quality friendships? Does it come naturally to you? Anything you struggle with in particular?

      37 votes
    25. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      7 votes
    26. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like right to repair, shrinkflation and filesharing. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like right to repair, shrinkflation and filesharing. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was unsure.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      6 votes
    27. Weekly megathread for news/updates/discussion of Russian invasion of Ukraine - September 21

      This thread is posted weekly on Thursday - please try to post relevant content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Especially significant updates may warrant a separate topic,...

      This thread is posted weekly on Thursday - please try to post relevant content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Especially significant updates may warrant a separate topic, but most should be posted here.

      If you'd like to help support Ukraine, please visit the official site at https://help.gov.ua/ - an official portal for those who want to provide humanitarian or financial assistance to people of Ukraine, businesses or the government at the times of resistance against the Russian aggression.

      19 votes
    28. Weekly US politics news and updates thread - week of September 18

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate...

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate topic, but almost all should be posted in here.

      This is an inherently political thread; please try to avoid antagonistic arguments and bickering matches. Comment threads that devolve into unproductive arguments may be removed so that the overall topic is able to continue.

      10 votes
    29. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      14 votes
    30. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like unity, elon musk and tortillas. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was curious....

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like unity, elon musk and tortillas. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was curious.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      24 votes
    31. What creative projects have you been working on?

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on. Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just...

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

      Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

      If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

      10 votes
    32. Weekly megathread for news/updates/discussion of Russian invasion of Ukraine - September 14

      This thread is posted weekly on Thursday - please try to post relevant content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Especially significant updates may warrant a separate topic,...

      This thread is posted weekly on Thursday - please try to post relevant content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Especially significant updates may warrant a separate topic, but most should be posted here.

      If you'd like to help support Ukraine, please visit the official site at https://help.gov.ua/ - an official portal for those who want to provide humanitarian or financial assistance to people of Ukraine, businesses or the government at the times of resistance against the Russian aggression.

      13 votes
    33. Fairphone Keep Club: Sustainable consumerism?

      As you may well know, Fairphone is a company that originally arose from a kickstarter campaign and makes phones that are as easily repairable, as sustainable and as fairly sourced as possible....

      As you may well know, Fairphone is a company that originally arose from a kickstarter campaign and makes phones that are as easily repairable, as sustainable and as fairly sourced as possible. They do have their issues, but compared to other big phone companies they've done a great job with this.

      Now it appears that Fairphone is due to announce the so called 'Fairphone Keep Club' on the 14th of September - a bonus program as we all know it. You buy stuff, you get points for what you buy, and when you've got enough points you can redeem them to buy more stuff.

      The keep club website claims that it's the only rewards program that gives back to those who keep their Fairphones as long as possible, but judging by the listed 'challenges' it appears that the most efficient way to gain points is to simply buy new stuff.

      Personally I'm a bit torn on this, due to the idealistic viewpoints I tend to judge Fairphone under in accordance with their stated sustainability goals. I do realize that is a much higher standard than the big-players in the phone industry achieve. I also get that Fairphone wants to build its brand identity and create incentives to keep customers and sell their products. But at the same time I can't help but think that in the end that program is an incentive to be less sustainable, as it ultimately provides you with those fancy points as a psychological incentive to buy the newest and latest Fairphone product.

      So I wanted to bring this topic into a wider community that may not currently be as deep in the Fairphone bubble: Do you think such bonus programs will rather help spread the idea of a more repairable, sustainable approach to phones, or will it rather serve as an incentive to artificially shorten a phone's lifecycle by prematurely buying a new one? And more generally speking: Do you think advertising strategies rooted in consumerism and classic capitalistic company goals are compatible with sustainable product lifecycles somehow, despite not exactly having aligned interests?

      Note that I also posted this on Lemmy. I'm interested to see how those discussions will compare.

      22 votes
    34. Weekly US politics news and updates thread - week of September 11

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate...

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate topic, but almost all should be posted in here.

      This is an inherently political thread; please try to avoid antagonistic arguments and bickering matches. Comment threads that devolve into unproductive arguments may be removed so that the overall topic is able to continue.

      20 votes
    35. Advice on trudging through stress

      I'm a long time Tildes user but I've created this separate account because I'd like to avoid connecting this topic to my normal username. I am going through a divorce that will take about a year...

      I'm a long time Tildes user but I've created this separate account because I'd like to avoid connecting this topic to my normal username.

      I am going through a divorce that will take about a year to finalize and I am struggling with the stress. If it were a short term thing, I would grit my teeth and bear it, but I have a full year ahead and I'm afraid I need some help in order to make it through with my physical and mental health intact.

      My wife has a personality that includes "kill mode" for anyone she deems as an opponent -- whether it is another driver on the road, a customer service agent who doesn't give her what she wants, or anyone at all who she perceives as having slighted her. This is one of the reasons why we're getting divorced. I have nearly the opposite approach to conflict, and I can't handle seeing people get attacked so fiercely or so often. Now that we're getting divorced, I am the target of these attacks. For clarity, they're only verbal attacks, not physical -- there is no physical abuse in this case.

      I could stiffen up and fight back whenever she starts arguing with me, but we have kids and I want to commit myself to preventing their exposure to hostilities as much as possible. But this means I have to do my best to brush off my wife's verbal abuse and maintain composure so they can have a stable dad to rely on.

      Right now I'm having trouble sleeping and I am constantly anxious throughout the day. It gets worse whenever I have to interact with my wife; and unfortunately we have to interact frequently every day to coordinate childcare and logistics of the divorce. I have a tightness in my chest from being so anxious (not heart attack) and I am struggling to maintain focus on work or any tasks I have to complete. I can hold back the tears, but I really do want to cry many, many times a day.

      What can I do to wade through this time period? I know there are breathing exercises to help calm down. What else can you recommend? I am trying to make sure I do eat well enough and that I drink enough water. I avoid alcohol entirely and don't take any kind of medication.

      Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. And I'm sorry if this is not an appropriate forum for this question. I will delete if so.

      32 votes
    36. Sometimes the pressure from glasses can help with sinus headaches - does anyone else experience this?

      It's Spring here in Australia which means hayfever for me and more frequent usually minor sinus pain. I often wear sunglasses outside but I have 20/20 vision (afaik) so I don't have prescription...

      It's Spring here in Australia which means hayfever for me and more frequent usually minor sinus pain. I often wear sunglasses outside but I have 20/20 vision (afaik) so I don't have prescription glasses. I did get some cheap blue-light glasses a few years ago in case they helped with tiredness/eye strain/sleep hygiene when I was using screens late at night. I recently noticed that wearing them when I have sinus pain helps alleviate the pain a little. I've noticed before that pinching the bridge of my nose can help especially when the pain is bad, so I suppose it makes sense that the glasses do something similar.

      This is my first post, and usually when I'm curious about something I look it up, but I only really found people talking about how glasses can cause headaches when they're ill-fitting. So I thought I'd ask around here to see if anyone else has experienced this or otherwise was interested in the topic. And maybe this will help someone in a similar situation.

      13 votes
    37. Polyamory: If there are any poly folks here, I would love to hear your stories!

      How visible is your lifestyle to others in your life (personal, professional, etc)? Have you found love recently? What do serious relationships look like for you? Is marriage on the table, or is...

      How visible is your lifestyle to others in your life (personal, professional, etc)?

      Have you found love recently?

      What do serious relationships look like for you? Is marriage on the table, or is it contrary to polyamory?

      I'm hoping to spark discussion of the topic, since I haven't seen it mentioned much on Tildes.

      51 votes
    38. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      6 votes
    39. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like misinformation, lightbulbs.led and pilots. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like misinformation, lightbulbs.led and pilots. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was interested.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      6 votes
    40. Weekly megathread for news/updates/discussion of Russian invasion of Ukraine - September 7

      This thread is posted weekly on Thursday - please try to post relevant content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Especially significant updates may warrant a separate topic,...

      This thread is posted weekly on Thursday - please try to post relevant content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Especially significant updates may warrant a separate topic, but most should be posted here.

      If you'd like to help support Ukraine, please visit the official site at https://help.gov.ua/ - an official portal for those who want to provide humanitarian or financial assistance to people of Ukraine, businesses or the government at the times of resistance against the Russian aggression.

      17 votes
    41. If you don't like a type of content, don't complain about it. Filter it!

      With the constant influx of new users from Reddit, every once in a while I see people complain about some type of content that they find disruptive and annoying. They take their dissatisfaction to...

      With the constant influx of new users from Reddit, every once in a while I see people complain about some type of content that they find disruptive and annoying. They take their dissatisfaction to the comments, either criticizing the poster or expressing their annoyance.

      Those contributions are often disruptive and offtopic themselves, derailing a potentially productive discussion

      Tildes has a feature that may come in handy in those cases: filtered tags. It allows the user to prevent content they dislike from being displayed to them.

      To add a filtered tag, click on Filtered topic tags right below Browse the list of groups. You will be taken to a page where you can add any tags that you want to filter, one per line.

      For example, if you are displeased with the amount of videos on your frontpage, just add videos and save. Now you won't see any video submissions.

      If, at any time, you wish to see those posts, you can either click on View unfiltered list at the top of the page or click on the tag Videos in your Filtered topic tags list.

      That way, you will never be annoyed by content you don't like :)

      If you don't like a type of content, don't complain about it. Filter it!

      110 votes
    42. Experimental-community thought experiment: constitution

      ** I wrote this a few years ago using 'wiki-how to write a constitution' as my basic outline. As you can see, I never finished. I realized that this is not something that can or should be written...

      ** I wrote this a few years ago using 'wiki-how to write a constitution' as my basic outline. As you can see, I never finished. I realized that this is not something that can or should be written as a singular person, and due to a lack of access to those who might find such a project interesting, albiet wholly theoretical, I never finsihed it. What you see at the bottom is the copy paste from the wiki how where I left off.

      I don't know if any of y'all will find this interesting or worth editing and expanding with me, but I thought this would be an interesting place to put this and test the waters.

      I tried really hard to figure out how to format this in tildes but I may have failed. Hopefully it's clear enough.

      Here is the beginnings of a constitution I wrote for a hypothetical expeirmental community: **

      We, the citizens of this community, in order to enact the willful abandonment of all other governing bodies and establish an independent mode of community-organization and self-rule, do ordain and establish this constitution for the government of our association.

      Article I:

      Section 1:

      The name of this community shall be {}, hereafter referred to as ‘the community.’

      Section 2:

      The Heads of the community shall make up the ruling body of {}, hereafter referred to as ‘Those Responsible.’

      Article II:

      Section 1:

      the purpose of this community is to establish and maintain a self-sustaining and self-perpetuating place and manner in which to live and live well, outside and beyond the current social paradigms subject to political, military, monetary, or any and all other coercive forms of power and control, including but not limited to all other authoritative bodies either public or private. This community intends to act as a sustaining reservoir and dispensary for human knowledge and creative culture. This community aims to secure a manner of human cohabitation and relation founded upon unconditional love and mutual respect for self, others, and the land.

      Section 2:

      Those Responsible shall ratify, guide, lead, and organize all actions of the community towards the aims of self-sustainability, cohabitation, co-creation, and social evolution, foremost and always with a prime consideration for all the offspring of the community in mind, whether of direct biological relation or otherwise. Those Responsible are tasked with representing and upholding the example and execution of communion and action under the fundamental philosophy of unconditional love and mutual respect for self, others, and the land. Those Responsible are beholden to the task of observing and evaluating the exact realities faced by the community at any given point in time, and in view of that Those Responsible are required to coordinate all community efforts in appropriate response to the imminent needs of the citizenry and the land.

      Article III:

      Section 1:

      The general body of the community will be comprised of Citizen Families of no less than two adults and no more than ten adults, and all of their accompanying children and creature companions. In order to gain membership into the community a Citizen Family must be endorsed by a Family Head already a part of the community, and voted in unanimously by all Those Responsible. Appeals can be made and cases reassessed as depends on the situation, but finalization of familial citizenship requires the unanimous consent of all and every current Citizen Family through representative vote.

      Section 2:

      the privileges and responsibilities of every individual citizen, those granted to the Citizen Family, and those allowed to the community as a whole include but are not limited to:

      Individual rights:

      The right to appropriate understanding and care from family and community in times of physiological, psychological, and/or theological need due to age, injury, mental or bodily transition, trauma, or illness.
      The right to formally express grievance, great or small, to all grievous parties with the option of third party witness with previously established all party agreement on third party power of decision-input and sway.

      The right to request and expect communion with specific individuals, the family whole, or the community at large for a specified time within the confines of the boundaries and privacy requested.

      The right to request and expect celebration with specific individuals, the family whole, or the community at large for a specified time within the confines of the boundaries and privacy requested.

      The right to give and receive without incurring debt.

      Sufficient and sustainable food, shelter, and water, tailored to the individual needs of each citizen, with consideration insofar as possible to individual ability, desire, and proclivity.

      Free access to all available community physical, psychological, and theological health resources and programs without bias to reason or cause.

      Free access to all available community infrastructure, resources, and technologies insofar as it does not impede the well being of any other, the land, or the community at large.

      Freedom of thought and expression and access to public outlet insofar as no permanent physical or psychological damage incurs.

      Free access to all available information and means to education. Freedom of inquiry into all intellectual matters and free permission to explore all avenues of discovery not leading to permanent physical or psychological damage.

      Full liberty of movement without untoward monitoring, self-delegation of personal time and energies beyond regulated family and community requirements and tasks, and a right to mental, physical, and spiritual regulation and privacy.

      The right to call for a family or community hearing and action for whatever reason, and to expect due diligence in response to such a call.

      The right to dictate placement, care and use of any personal property of which one is responsible for maintenance, re-purposing, and proper disposal.

      The right to anonymity in all voting processes.

      The right to vote on family leadership through unanimous consensus of all eligible family members.

      The right to vote on family projects and endeavors through unanimous consensus of all eligible family members.

      The right to decide the vote for the Heads on community projects through unanimous consensus of all eligible family members.

      The right to decide the vote for the Family Head on the delegation of communal resources through unanimous consensus of all eligible family members.

      The right to decide the vote for the Heads on all constitutional amendments through unanimous consensus of all eligible family members.

      The right to request personal advocacy and counsel from outside the immediate family grouping in regards to internal family affairs.

      The right to third-party mediation and safe sanctuary in times of unresolved conflict.

      The right to propose projects for personal or community benefit, and to solicit the needed resources and work from the community at large.

      The right to apply for membership in a different Citizen Family from their own, or to apply for the establishment of a new Citizen Family, without untoward consequences despite affirmation or denial of said application, and with the understanding that individual membership is restricted to a single Citizen Family.

      The right to personal emancipation from the community in full for whatever reason, and the grant of sufficient supply of basic needs from the community, per the requirements of the current social paradigms, for the most benevolent and efficient plan and execution of exit.

      Citizen family rights:

      the right to family residence sufficient to the exact needs of the individual family and its members, with consideration to ability, preference and proclivity insofar as possible, and full dominion over space, design, and utility of family residence.

      The right to equal representation in the community by an internally elected Family Head, Auxiliary Head, and Junior Head (a.k.a. The Heads).

      The right to represented vote on all community affairs including but not limited to adoption of new Citizen Families, allocation of community resources, constitutional amendment, foreign affairs, military action and defense, and the introduction and use of new technologies and materials.

      The right to volunteer or withhold labor from any non-essential community effort.

      The right through the unanimous vote of all eligible family members to excommunicate individual members due to permanent physical or psychological damages to the family.

      The right to handle internal family affairs as seen fit insofar as no permanent physical or psychological damages incur, and without rebuke so long as such affairs have no significant impact on community production or well being.

      The right to confidentiality and privacy in personal family matters despite possible recruitment by one or more individual for external representation.

      Community rights:

      The right to excommunicate whole Citizen Families per Family Head and Auxiliary Head’s unanimous vote, excluding the family in question, in the event of permanent physical or psychological damages to the community.

      The right to enact emergency measures in times of crisis per Family Head’s unanimous vote, including but not limited to the overrule of individual or familial privacy and individual or familial propriety over labor and resources.

      The right to purchase or acquire additional lands and resources from outside the community per Family Head and Auxiliary Head’s unanimous vote.

      The right of the Arbiters to oversee and mediate conflict between Citizen Families.

      The right of the Heads to demand, organize and enforce labor and resources from all citizen families for the sake of community sustainability and well-being.

      Individual responsibilities:

      Primary responsibility for self care, self direction, self advocacy, and self representation in all matters related to personal development and involvement.

      Responsibility to family wants, needs and concerns, insofar as they do not impede the well being of self, others, the land, or the community at large.

      Responsibility to community wants, needs and concerns, insofar as they do not impede the well being of self, others, the land, or the Citizen Family.

      Responsibility to fulfill all necessary labor requirements of family and community as per the changing requirements of sustainability and growth.

      Responsibility to the land and its well being.

      Responsibility to teach, care for and nurture all children and creature companions of the community whether or not blood related, insofar as it does not impede the well being of self, others, and the land.

      Responsibility, insofar as it does not impede personal well being or privacy, to share all knowledge and resources within one’s possession and ability with any other citizen upon their request.

      Responsibility to critically seek out knowledge and understanding of the current affairs and concerns of the Citizen Family and the community at large, and thereby cast vote based upon study and reason rather than selfish motive or emotional appeal.

      Citizen Family responsibilities:

      Prime responsibility for the care, representation and advocacy of the Citizen Family in all matters related to familial development and involvement.

      Responsibility to individual wants, needs and concerns, insofar as they do not impede the well being of the family, individual citizens, others, the land, or the community.

      Responsibility to community wants, needs and concerns, insofar as they do not impede the well being of the family, individual citizens, others, the land, or the community.

      Responsibility to organize and deploy all labor requirements of the family as per the changing requirements of sustainability and growth.

      Responsibility to fulfill all necessary labor requirements of the community as per the changing requirements of sustainability and growth.

      Responsibility to the land and its well being.

      Responsibility to teach, care for, and nurture all children and creature companions of the community whether or not blood related, insofar as it does not impede the well being of the family, individual citizens, others, and the land.

      Responsibility, insofar as it does not impede familial well being or privacy, to share all knowledge and resources within the family’s possession and ability with any other citizen or Citizen Family upon request.

      Responsibility to critically seek out knowledge and understanding of the current affairs and the concerns of individual members and the community at large, and thereby cast vote based upon study and reason rather than selfish motive or emotional appeal.

      Responsibility to gather weekly all citizens of the family to report, evaluate, vote upon, and organize action for all family interests and concerns.

      Community responsibilities:

      Prime responsibility for the care, representation and advocacy of the community in all matters related to community development and involvement.

      Responsibility to individual wants, needs and concerns, insofar as they do not impede the well being of the community, individual citizens, Citizen Families, others, or the land.

      Responsibility to Citizen Families’ wants, needs and concerns, insofar as they do not impede the well being of the community, individual citizens, other Citizen Families, others, or the land.

      Responsibility to organize and deploy all labor requirements of the community as per the changing requirements of sustainability and growth.

      Responsibility to the land and its well being.

      Responsibility to acquire, establish, organize, and maintain resources, infrastructure, and continuing education for the benefit of all citizens and Citizen Families.

      Responsibility, insofar as it does not impede the community’s well being or privacy, to share all knowledge and resources within the community’s possession and ability with any citizen or Citizen Family upon their request.

      Responsibility to critically seek out knowledge and understanding of the current affairs and concerns of individual members and all Citizen Families, and thereby organize all community efforts based upon study and reason rather than selfish motive or emotional appeal.

      Responsibility to establish and maintain a means for citizens and Citizen Families to continuously participate and vote in all community endeavors and affairs through representation by the Heads or directly through survey and ballot.

      Responsibility to organize and execute community outreach and relations with outside governments and organizations insofar as it does not impede the well being of citizens, Citizen Families, the community at large, or the land.

      Responsibility to gather and allocate shared resources for the procurement and establishment of a new community on tenable land any time that the current community reaches maximum capacity.

      Responsibility to establish and maintain co-beneficial relations and exchange, including relief efforts in times of crisis, with all extended communities whether or not directly derivative from the immediate community insofar as possible.

      Responsibility to organize resources and efforts for the defense and rebuilding of the community when faced with internal or external aggression or biological or climate catastrophe.

      Responsibility to procure and dispense all technological, medical, or otherwise necessary resources not internally available but required by a citizen or Citizen Family for their continued well being.

      Responsibility to provide requested transportation and the means to initial basic survival, per the requirements of the current social paradigms, for any citizen looking to emancipate from the community and reenter the world at large.

      Responsibility to provide and organize opportunities for travel to all citizens, upon request yet within community ability and reason.

      Responsibility to gather weekly all Those Responsible to report, evaluate, and organize action for all voted upon community interests and concerns.

      Responsibility to organize and coordinate weekly community celebration insofar as it does not impede the immediate needs of the community.

      Responsibility to establish and maintain a central garden sanctuary for silent meditation, worship and reflection, open to all citizens at any time.

      Responsibility, insofar as the community is able, to take in, protect, and provide for the basic necessities of any individual seeking asylum from the outside world, insofar as they adhere to the laws, customs, and requirements of the community, and within the agreed amount of time voted upon by Those Responsible in a case by case basis.

      Section 3:

      Membership may be revoked via a unanimous vote by the Family and Auxiliary Heads due to irrevocable physical or psychological harm to an individual, Citizen Family, the community at large, or the land. Membership shall be open to all those vetted and unanimously voted in by the Family and Auxiliary Heads regardless of age, creed, race, color, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, socioeconomic status, disability, national origin, or status as a veteran. This list is not exhaustive.

      Article IV:

      Section 1:

      Family meetings run by the Family Head will be held weekly, or as otherwise decided upon by majority vote within the family in order to discuss any general family business, upcoming and continuing family and community projects, and any other pressing comments or concerns of its members.

      All Heads within a family shall weekly meet with each other to gather, discuss and organize all current concerns to be addressed in the next family meeting.

      Community meetings composed of all Heads and run by the current Arbiters selected quarterly from the Heads by all Those Responsible will be held weekly in order to evaluate and coordinate all community efforts past, continuing, or new.

      Each separate group of Heads from every family shall meet weekly in order to gather, discuss and organize all current concerns of their constituents to be addressed in the next community meeting.

      Any individual can call for an auxiliary family or community meeting run by the Head of their choice or one of the current Arbiters at any time and for any reason and will be granted such a meeting within 72 hours of the request.

      Section 2:

      All policy decisions within the Citizen Family shall be voted upon by all family members of any age or identification who capably understands and willingly ratifies via signature the constitution of the community. Each voting citizen is allowed one vote. For sanctioned approval, all Citizen Family policy decisions require a unanimous vote. Family voting shall be counted and tallied by the Family Head.

      All policy decisions for the community at large shall be voted upon by all Heads inline with the vote of their constituents. Each Head is allowed one vote. For sanctioned approval all community policy decisions require a unanimous vote by all Heads. Community voting shall be counted and tallied by the current Arbiter.

      All voting shall be done anonymously, and no decision can be ratified without a submitted ballot from all voting parties.

      Article V:

      Section 1:

      The community shall have the following officials:

      One Family Head per Citizen Family. Any family member aged fifteen or older who has already ratified the constitution is eligible for election. Whereas campaigning is prohibited, any eligible family member can be nominated by any other family member. Selection must be voted upon annually and requires a unanimous vote by all eligible voters within the Citizen Family.

      One Auxiliary Head per Citizen Family. Any family member aged fifteen or older who has already ratified the constitution is eligible for election. Whereas campaigning is prohibited, any eligible family member can be nominated by any other family member. Selection must be voted upon annually and requires a unanimous vote by all eligible voters within the Citizen Family.

      One Junior Head per Citizen Family. Any family member below the age of fifteen who has already ratified the constitution is eligible for election. Whereas campaigning is prohibited any eligible family member can be nominated by any other family member. Selection must be voted upon annually and requires a unanimous vote by all eligible voters within the Citizen Family.

      One Arbiter of the community. All Family Heads are eligible for election. Whereas campaigning is prohibited any Family Head can be nominated by any other Head. Selection must be voted upon quarterly and requires a unanimous vote by all Heads within the community.

      One Auxiliary Arbiter of the community. All Auxiliary Heads are eligible for election. Whereas campaigning is prohibited any Auxiliary Head can be nominated by any other Head. Selection must be voted upon quarterly and requires a unanimous vote by all Heads within the community.

      One Junior Arbiter of the community. All Junior Heads are eligible for election. Whereas campaigning is prohibited any Junior Head can be nominated by any other Head. Selection must be voted upon quarterly and requires a unanimous vote by all Heads within the community.

      Section 2:

      The duties of these officials are as follows:

      Family Heads:

      Responsible for tallying family vote taken during family meetings.

      Responsible during all community meetings for representing fairly and impartially their own Citizen Family’s needs and affairs expressed through an internally decided vote.

      Responsible during all family meetings for representing community needs and affairs fairly and impartially.

      Responsible for community representation and outreach in the world at large.

      Responsible for leading the community in its continued sustainability and growth through the organization of community projects and the establishment of new communities when need arises.

      Auxiliary Heads:

      Responsible during all community meetings for representing fairly and impartially family land and resource needs and affairs expressed through an internally decided vote.

      Responsible during all family meetings for representing community land and resource needs and affairs fairly and impartially.

      Responsible for advising the Family Head, and taking on the duties of the Family Head in times of their temporary absence, and organizing the vote for instating a new Family Head upon the current Family Head’s inability to continue in their duties.

      Responsible for leading the community in its continued sustainability and growth through the organization of community projects and the establishment of new communities when need arises.

      Junior Heads:

      Responsible during all community meetings for representing fairly and impartially the community youth and creature companion’s needs and affairs expressed through an internally decided vote.

      Responsible during all family meetings for representing fairly and impartially their family youth and creature companion’s needs and affairs expressed through an internally decided vote.

      Responsible for advising both the Family and Auxiliary Heads, and studying the methods, tasks and duties, undertaken by the Heads and Arbiters.

      Arbiter:

      Responsible for tallying community vote during all community meetings.

      Responsible for mediating upon request.

      Responsible for running Family Head meetings and co-running community meetings.

      Auxiliary Arbiter:

      Responsible for mediating upon request.

      Responsible for running Auxiliary Head meetings and co-running community meetings.

      Responsible for taking on the duties of Arbiter in the current Arbiter’s temporary absence, and organizing the vote for instating a new Arbiter upon the current Arbiters inability to continue in their duties.

      Junior Arbiter:

      Responsible for mediating upon request.

      Responsible for running Junior Head meetings and co-running community meetings.

      Section 3:

      Family Heads can hold office for up to a year until reelections are held. Family Heads can hold office indefinitely insofar as their family members continue to unanimously elect them annually.

      Auxiliary Heads can hold office for up to a year until reelections are held. Auxiliary Heads can hold office indefinitely insofar as their family members continue to unanimously elect them annually.

      Junior Heads can hold office for up to a year until reelections are held. Junior Heads can hold office until surpassing the age of fifteen insofar as their family members continue to unanimously elect them annually.

      Arbiters can hold office for up to three months until reelections are held. Arbiters can hold office for up to a year insofar as the Heads continue to unanimously elect them quarterly.

      Auxiliary Arbiters can hold office for up to three months until reelections are held. Auxiliary Arbiters can hold office for up to a year insofar as the Heads continue to unanimously elect them quarterly.

      Junior Arbiters can hold office for up to three months until reelections are held. Junior Arbiters can hold office for up to a year insofar as they are under the age of fifteen and the Heads continue to unanimously elect them quarterly.

      Article VI:

      Section 1:

      Elections of The Heads must take place at least once per year. Elections of the Arbiters must take place at least quarterly. The winners of the elections for Those Responsible shall be determined by unanimous vote. No individual, however, shall be elected as a Head or Arbiter unless having already ratified the constitution.

      Section 2:

      Before Heads can be instated for a new term each family must meet to nominate individuals for the roles of Family Head, Auxiliary Head, and Junior Head. In the case that more than one individual is nominated for one appointment, elections must be held within the week to determine through unanimous vote who shall fill the role in question. Voting in order to reach a unanimous decision will be held for consecutive days until such a consensus is reached by all family members eligible to vote. Similarly, appointment of the Arbiters shall follow quarterly the same route as Head appointments in the context of the meeting of Heads. Any individual nominated and unanimously voted into an official role must perform their duties as laid out in this consititution to the best of their abilities despite any explicit desire, or lack thereof, on the part of the nominated to hold office of any kind. Elected officials may only abdicate their possision in the case of severe physical or psychological disablilities which impede the ability to perform the required duties of the role.

      Section 3:

      An offical can be impeached and removed from office through an unanimous vote called for due to their failure to perform the neccessessary duties of their appointed role, or due to their neglect or outright affront of the constition and its tenets. In the case of the latter, a character hearing shall be called to evaluate the reasons for consititional neglect and/or affront and decide upon what, if any, diciplinary actions need take place to ammend the infraction.

      Section 4:

      In the event of a mid-term vacancy of a Family Head the Auxiliary Head of the family will take on the duties and responsibilities of Family Head in addition to their own duties, until an early election can be held to fill the vacancey with an interim offical upinto the time of the normal election cycle where a permanent official can be once again instated .

      In the event of a mid-term vacancy of an Auxiliary Head the Family Head will take on the duties and responsibilities of Auxiliary Head in addition ot their own duties, until an early election can be held to fill the vacancey with an interim official upinto the time of the normal election cycle where a permanent official can be once again instated.

      In the event of a mid-term vacancy of a Junior Head the post shall be appointed to the youngest family member eligible for the possition until an early election can be held to fill the vacancey with an interim official upinto the time of the normal election cycle where a permanent official can be once again instated.

      In the event of a mid-term vacancy of an Arbiter, Auxiliary Arbiter, or Junior Arbiter early elections are to be held immediately to fill the vacancey with an interim official upinto the time of the normal election cycle where a permanent official can be once again instated.

      • Write the rules on elections, appointments, and removal of officers. Article 6 of your constitution should provide the rules on elections, appointment procedures, and removal of members. This article should also provide the rules on interim appointments or elections in the case of a mid-term vacancy.[19]
        • Section 1 of Article 6 can say, for example: “Organizational elections must take place at least once per year.”[20] This section should also provide the general rules on elections, whereas more specific election rules can be written in the organization’s bylaws.[21] The general rules on elections may include, for example, rules on voting procedure. You can write, for example: "The winners of the elections for representatives shall be determined by plurality vote. No student, however, shall be elected as class representative unless he or she receives the vote of ten percent (10%) of the class from which he or she was elected."[22]
        • Section 2 of Article 6 should provide the general appointment procedures for appointing officers, whereas more specific appointment procedures can be written in the bylaws.[23]
        • Section 3 of Article 6 can say, for example: “The members of the Board may be impeached and removed (enter grounds for impeachment and removal and enter impeachment and removal procedures).”[24]
        • Section 4 of Article 6 can say, for example: “In the event of a mid-term vacancy of an elected officer…” followed by the procedure for electing an interim or permanent replacement officer.[25]

      Write the rules on committees. Article 7 of your constitution should provide the names of committees, the duties of each committee, the rules on selection and removal of committee members, and the procedures for formation and dissolution of committees.[26]
      • Section 1 of Article 7 can say, for example: “The standing committees of this organization shall be…” followed by a list of all standing committees.[27] Note: a standing committee is a permanent committee whose purpose is to consider all matters that relate to a particular subject.[28]
      • Section 2 of Article 7 can say, for example: “The duties of each of these standing committees shall be…” followed by a list of the duties.[29]
      • Section 3 of Article 7 should provide the rules on how committee members will be selected and removed.[30]
      • Section 4 of Article 7 can say, for example: “Additional committees may be formed and dissolved by the organization…” followed by the procedures for adding and removing committees.[31]
      Provide for the creation of bylaws. Article 8 of your constitution should provide the rules on how the organization’s and executive board’s bylaws will be created and amended and who has the power to do so.[32] Note: Bylaws are rules that an organization adopts to govern its internal operations and its dealings with others.[33] These rules are intended to complement the constitution. Bylaws can be detailed rules that cannot be covered in detail in the constitution itself.
      • Section 1 of Article 8 can say, for example: “Bylaws of the organization shall be established and amended by…” followed by the procedures for creating and amending the organization’s bylaws.[34]
      • Section 2 of Article 8 can say, for example: “Bylaws of the Board shall be established and amended by…” followed by the procedures for amending and creating bylaws of the executive board.[35]
      • Bylaws should not contradict anything in the Constitution. Generally, bylaws contain detailed provisions on such topics as membership, dues, duties of officers, the Board, committees, order of business, amendment procedures, and other specific policies and procedures necessary for the organization or its operation.

      Write how the constitution can be amended. Article 9 of your constitution should provide the rules on amendments to the constitution. This article should state how and by whom amendments can be proposed and what percentage of vote is required for the amendment to be adopted. A common example is two-thirds of the voting membership.[36] This article may state, for example, "Amendments to the Constitution may be proposed by two-thirds (2⁄3) vote of the Student Council or a petition signed by fifty (50) currently enrolled students."[37]
      Write how the proposed constitution shall be ratified. Article 10 of your constitution should provide for how the constitution you are proposing shall be ratified. This article can say, for example: “This constitution shall be established by a vote of a (insert fraction) majority of the membership of the organization.”[38] A recommended fraction for ratification is a 3/4ths majority.[39]
      Write how questions concerning the interpretation of the constitution shall be decided. You can write, in Article 11, for example: "Questions concerning the interpretation of this document shall be decided by the Board."[40] *

      11 votes
    43. Weekly US politics news and updates thread - week of September 4

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate...

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate topic, but almost all should be posted in here.

      This is an inherently political thread; please try to avoid antagonistic arguments and bickering matches. Comment threads that devolve into unproductive arguments may be removed so that the overall topic is able to continue.

      10 votes
    44. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      11 votes
    45. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like artificial intelligence, highways and school meals. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like artificial intelligence, highways and school meals. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was wondering.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      25 votes
    46. What creative projects have you been working on?

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on. Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just...

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

      Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

      If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

      14 votes