How often do you visit your parents?

I think I'm an outlier. Both parents I've been no-contact with for many years. Different reasons for both. And I have to say, it's a highly individual choice and I can't even believe how much progress I've made in my life toward being more well-adjusted and happier. I don't mean to sound like a sob story and wont go into the specifics, but dang, these years have shown that I've certainly made the right choice for me.

I visit my parents weekly.

They live ~140 km away.

My mother is 82 and has dementia. My father is 85 and is still remarkably active and mentally sharp, but he has his hands full with my mother. I basically check on them (in person) once per week and I run their finances (something my mother used to do). My father and I coordinate home help for my mother.

I also phone them daily, mostly as a "ping."

Finally, I live in the same town as my in-laws. As you might guess, family is a priority to me and I don't begrudge it.

I don't visit my parents as I live with them. I recently graduated from college and instead of moving into my own place, I just moved back in with my parents. It didn't make sense for me to move out as my job is fully remote and the offices are close enough to my parents' place that I can just commute if I ever need to go to the office.

Never. Though to be fair, neither of them are alive anymore. They both died too poor to afford a graveyard burial. My father may have qualified to be in a military graveyard but frankly I haven't even bothered to find out because he wasn't really a part of my life when he was alive to begin with.

I do feel a bit guilty for not visiting my grandmother more often though; she is alive still, but she is in a nursing home and has Alzheimer's and relatively far away. I mainly haven't seen her because I've been overwhelmed by stress caused by work, medical issues, and some mental health issues (which are caused in part by the other two).

I grew up in a cult, and escaped it about 4 years ago. I tried visiting family a few years ago, and ended up leaving about 9 minutes before my PTSD kicked in.

Life is better without them; as sad as it is to say it.

I try to see my mom about once a month. Sometimes it's a little more, sometimes it's a little less, but once a month is about average. I'd like to see her more, but we're a busy family. Having a five year-old is super fun but very busy and chaotic. As a kid, I used to see my Yiayia and Papou pretty much every Sunday--the families would all get together, and we'd have dinner after church; I'd play with my cousins and the adults would play cards or watch the Lions lose or whatever--and I regret that I can't do that. I live an hour from my mom and I just can't imagine giving up every Sunday to that.

(I'll note the "elephant in the comment" right now, though there's no need to respond to it: my dad died in 2009; and my father-in-law, about a year ago; both from cancer (also, I'm kicking myself, because I'm not sure if I used those commas and semicolons correctly!))

My mother-in-law generally comes over once a week to spend time with my son. This was especially helpful when he was much younger, as I was the stay-at-home dad, and he wasn't in daycare or anything. I desperately needed the break. I still appreciate the break on Saturdays and appreciate that the two of them can spend time together. I see her then but don't spend much time with her--it's their time to do stuff together. I'd say that we also see her about once a month other than these aforementioned visits, though maybe a little less, since we already "see" her once a week. She also travels a lot.

It's nice seeing both of them regularly and it's gotten nicer as my son's gotten older. When he was little, we had to follow him around to make sure he didn't break anything/put anything dangerous in his mouth/etc. Now he just plays, so they're relaxing visits. Though I admit I have far less to talk about with my wife's family.

My parents lived just 10 min away by car, and they were what you'd consider parents children can only dream of. Supporting, loving, caring, giving space and always ready for a beer. Parents and best friends at the same time.

So I visited them twice per week. Then my father died out of nowhere and we were all shocked about it. Natural causes, but so fast that you couldn't react. Afterwards my mother was desperate and she needed me much more. Also I worried a lot given I needed to call emergency response when I thought she had a stroke. So then it got three times per week, and I called her daily as a "ping" to be sure everything is allright, but she died 1.5 years later, just when it felt that she was slowly gaining happiness again.

I see my in laws about every two weeks.

I see my mom regularly, but my dad is a real piece of shit. He took no accountability for his actions leading to their divorce, and comes off as a malignant narcissist.
In fact I would think most early teenagers would learn lessons faster than he has.

I'm old enough that my parents are no longer living, nor is my only sibling, so the family I grew up with is all gone.

I miss them.

I visit my mom about once a week and my dad about once a month or so. We all live in the same city, so it's not too difficult. I will be moving out of state soon, so I'll see them much less after that.

I heard somewhere that once you graduate high school and move out, most of the time you will get to spend with your parents has already passed. I try to make an effort to see them now because I know one day, I'll regret it if I don't.

Almost never.

My father died several years ago, so there's that part. I now live on the opposite side of the world from my mother (and brother), and plane tickets are expensive.

I have no bad blood in my immediate family, it's just that I got the chance to exit from America and took it. I have no intentions to return either, unless something completely unexpected and catastrophic happens.

Side note observation: it could be purely coincidence, but it seems that sons often are the ones who end up going far away from their families, whereas it's the daughters that stick close by their parents. Mind you, I could also be completely wrong about this, but I've observed a LOT of this thing.

2 or 3 times a week and speak most days

Twice this year, so far. Probably will visit them at least twice more, so on average 4 times a year.

I still live with them.

I visited my mom about monthly, and weekly when she got sick. I regret not visiting her more. If anyone is thinking "man I should visit my parents more often" then definitely try to do it, never know when it's too late.

I live pretty close to my parents, but only see them once a month or so. My dad is still pretty busy and I am aswell. The thing is, I feel like in families where they visit their parents weekly or bi-weekly they sit down for some coffee to chat and then leave again, that’s at least how my parents did it with my grandparents. But when I visit my parents we always spend the entire day doing some fun activities. My dad then comes over and we get out the old SNES or go to the opera. And my mom and I often go to museums together or events. So we don’t see each other that often, but the time we spend together is A+ quality time. I‘m always trying to spend even more time with them though, especially as they get older.

I'm no contact with both of my parents due to their abusive tendencies, but my life has dramatically improved since removing them. I was able to establish a healthy personal relationship and return to school for my degree once their toxicity was out of my life. I'm so happy the idea of "blood family" is dying out and more younger folks are recognizing familiar relationships are a two way street. The mindset of being obligated a relationship because someone birthed you is soooo abusive and can be so detrimental mentally.

My in-laws became the parents I never had and showed me what is a healthy parental relationship when it came to their kids. They're fortunately close by and we visit them at least once a month, sometimes more. I always try to bake them something fresh because it is my way of sharing the love that they have poured into me. When before my own parents wouldn't have cared, my in-laws have nothing but appreciation. Blood be damned, they're my "adoptive" parents.

Edit: Grammer goofs

Once a year, for Christmas. I largely only go for my grandparents, once they've passed I will see little reason to go back.

Like others in this thread I generally try to have limited — no contact where possible. It doesn't do my mental health any good and I find myself having remarkably little in common with my family.

2-3 times a year, I don't really feel the need to be honest. And the times I visit is mostly to make them happy, for me it's a boring chore.

Once a year because I live on the other side of the country. I want to move closer but that is not trivial with 2 cats, one elderly

2-3x a year. We're all from the Midwest, but they moved to Las Vegas like 5yrs ago, while I stayed in the Midwest. So not quick or cheap to visit. Either gotta drive like 20hrs each way -- which I've done a few times -- or spend $200-300+ for a flight. But I try to go down for Christmas and then like again in the Spring and/or Fall. I visited my parents in April, and then a month later, my dad came to visit my brother and I in the Midwest (though my brother recently moved to Vegas too!). I'm considering visiting in August or something.

When we were all in the same metro, like 20min away by car, I only visited like once a month on average though. Idk, I've always appreciated my independence and space, so didn't feel the need to always be at my parents' place. Otherwise, what was the point of moving out?

I do talk to my parents practically weekly, though. So that helps.

I live about 600 miles away, so not often. But I’ll make about 2-3 visits a year for a week or two, and we talk weekly on the phone.

I moved to Texas a couple years ago so I haven't seen my parents as often as I used to. Right now I visit about once a month, once every other month. I've got a special needs dog so his boarding is a major consideration. That said, I talk to them every day which is more than I did before.

When I lived out of state (10~ hour drive) I'd visit one or two times a year, usually for major holidays. Calls were maybe once a month or every other month because I hate talking on the phone and that lady will talk for over an hour when it felt like we had maybe 20 mins of things to talk about lol. Now I live a half-hour drive away, and the last two months since moving we've met up every other week just about.

Depending on schedules, I see my parents about once a week. We don't speak much outside these visits so there's often stuff to catch up on.

Last year they moved to my area, but had lived t'up north for a few years. In those days we saw them maybe twice a year, but video called often.

My in laws I met for the first time in May. They're overseas, and I have been with my wife for 6 years by then. It's tough to be far away from them sometimes.

We visit my wife's parents weekly. They're involved in our kids lives and generally decent people, though we have huge differences politically. We just don't talk about that in detail, and understand that we won't change each other's views. I love that they're so involved with my kids, it reminds me of my own grandparents.

On my side, my mom lives relatively close and helps out as well. I see her weekly at least, often more. She helped me get through a very dark time in my life and I'll be forever grateful. I'll also be eternally ashamed of how I let my dad convince me to go no contact with her for several years when I was a teen.

That being said about my dad... He lives across the country and we barely talk. Last father's day I offered to call (if I call out of the blue, it's always "I'm busy") and he said he'd call me later that day. Never did, he apologized for it a day later.

I could go on and on about my dad, but I won't. I'm happy he's far away, and that I'm away from my sisters and stepmom. That side of my family is extremely toxic.

My dad died about four or five years ago. My mom is alive and lives halfway across the country. She likes where I’m living more so she often flies out a few times a year and stays with me for a week to three weeks at a time. I enjoy the time we get to spend together. We often check in my phone daily or every three days.

I visit them twice a year, but that is when I lived within a hour drive from them. I recently moved pretty far away so I'm not sure how often I'll end up visiting them. They never really seemed interested in me or they are so tied up with their own issues that I'm a distraction from the fires they have to constantly put out in their own lives.

My mum lives quite close but I don't go enough. Hmm I go maybe once a month :(

I'd say currently on average about every second weekend. Sometimes a bit more, sometimes I go a month without seing them, just depends on what's going on in my life. I'm at the end of university now and starting my first real job in August so I suspect it'll change a bit soon. Currently I rely a lot on them financially still and I do want to keep in touch with my (much) younger siblings, but when I had to return home for two semesters during covid our relationship got a bit strained (mom's an antivaxer, dad has no opinions of his own and just blindly supports her...) and I was considering cutting contact, but at this point I don't think I will. We get along fine as long as it's just the occasional visit

About once a week. My parents are older 70s and 80s and I came back a few years ago when my father had a stroke, in order to be closer for a while after having spent most of my adult life across the country or overseas.

It's been not as often as I'd like for various reasons for a long time.

One of the big blockers is that my childhood home is a long drive away from any major airport, making it difficult to get out there. I've also been on the opposite coast of North America or even on the other side of the Pacific for the past ~15 years, making visiting even more of an expensive ordeal. Piling on, I was also totally broke for the first half of that time period and so couldn't have bought airfare even if I wanted to.

Moving close enough to make visiting reasonable would greatly restrict job prospects, and though this improved with the rise of remote work it's not something I want to gamble on if I don't have to.

I do call every weekend but it's not the same as being there in person.

I have reminders in my phone to call them at least every two weeks, in case things get busy, but I usually chat with them more often than that.

I physically see my mom more often than my dad, since my dad lives out in the sticks (about a 3 hour drive) and my mom lives about a 15 minute drive away. (They've been divorced since I was 11.) Plus two of my brothers live with my mom still and we play Pathfinder together with some friends weekly.

I used to have an extremely difficult relationship with both my mom and dad, for different reasons, but that's behind us now and we enjoy each others' company. I'm glad, seeing us all age is scary and spending time together regularly helps me feel better about it.

I also have the same reminder for my maternal grandma, who is my last remaining grandparent. I just got back from visiting her today for Canada Day! She's 82 and sharp as a tack.

I wish I had spent more time with my grandpa, he passed in 2020 and it was obviously very difficult for my grandmother. I started making a point to see her regularly for chatting (and watching Jeopardy).

They live 2 and a half hours from me and my poor piece of shit car is not gonna survive the journey so not often. I'll probably get there for Christmas at least though. My cousin lives 40 min south of me and I can hitch a ride with him then if need be. I'll be trying to get a used car as soon as I can so I may be able to visit more often then.

I talk to my dad weekly though which is nice.

Not terribly often. I was at a point of seeing them once a week, but now I'm annoyed at them for putting zero effort into our relationship and their relationship with my kids, so I've not bothered with them for a few weeks now.

I'm annoyed that if I don't go see them, they're not going to bother to come see their grandkids. I don't feel like I should have to force such a relationship, so if they want to put more effort in, I'm open, but I'm feeling all done right now.

For anyone reading this that stills maintains a happy relationship with their parents - visit them as often as you possibly can. I recently lost my father and even though I saw him nearly everyday (we worked together), the one thing I wish is that I more quality time with him.

My parents live approx. 17,000 kms away so, naturally, rarely. We see my in laws (only 100km away) every few weeks

My mom and I live together. My dad lives on the opposite side of the next state. Thirteen hours by car, or a flight and a two hour drive into the sticks. I see him about once a year — this year he visited, last year I visited.

After graduating college and moving out on my own, I saw my folks for Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas every year. Some years we'd go to the beach for a week, so there was that too. It was about a 6hr drive to see them in MD as I live in NC, so it wasn't conducive to travel as often.

Now that they've since moved to NC as well but are only ~60mi, I see them about once a month or so.

I do Facetime my mother every night, but due to my Dad's job when I was growing up he and I aren't that close.

My parents live 75 KM away. They are lovely people who did a great job raising but drive me absolutely crazy after being around them too long. We get together for the occasional dinner and my in laws like them and invite them to most things so I feel like I see them the perfect amount. Maybe once or twice a month on average?

I don't generally have any desire to see my parents or go out of my way. No real reason. They are old so I definitely make an effort so I don't regret something down the line.

Once or twice a year. They live in a different country, 2500km away. It's only 2h-3h flight but the hassle of packing entire family and travelling for a day stops me. I call them every weekend though.

My mother lives relatively close by (about an hour with public transportation) but I only visit her about once a month. I was pretty sick last year and close to death a couple of times so since then I call my mother every week to let her know I'm alright. It's a two way street, though, I've lived in my current apartment for more than three years and she hasn't been to visit yet. We just have busy lives and can't find the time to visit more often.

The last time I saw my folks was March-ish last year for my brother's birthday. Our relationship has deteriorated over politics and differences in belief systems. This is probably abrupt, but the next time I see them, it'll be to piss on their graves.

I moved half a world away recently but before then I made a point to visit them once a week (they're in their 70s). Nowadays we have to settle for weekly video calls on Facebook. In most of these calls, we don't even talk that much. We often basically had the call on just so they can watch my kid go about his morning.

I grew up with my parents and only moved out when I was in my later 30s, and deep down still regret a little that I didn't make too much effort to build a relationship with them.

I visit my parents roughly fortnightly but they're about 75km away so sometimes it blows out to monthly when we get busy. My in-laws are about 5km away so we see them pretty regularly!

I visit them once a week at minimum! I chose the place I'm in now mostly because it means I'm only 15 minutes away from them and my sweet pup who I unfortunately couldn't bring with me.

They are in their early/mid 60s and I'm lucky as hell that we have such a great relationship. I love them more than anything and, while I hope with all my heart that they have at least a couple decades left, life is crazy and unpredictable so I try to get as much time in as I can.

I see my dad about twice a year. I haven't spoken to my mom in over a year and have no plans to. I live a couple hours away. I used to live states away, and I plan to live that far away again very soon. When I was younger I would call every few months, I don't really anymore.

My dad is nice, but idk. I enjoy hanging out when we do but I'm not sure I'd enjoy more than that. I'm much happier not talking to my mom. In some ways she was easy to talk to(she could talk at you as much you need), but I've also had a complicated relationship with her since I was young. We butt heads a lot, and even though at times we get along I've always found her be extremely stubborn and incapable of change.

In some way she's a mirror of me. I see several of her character flaws in myself I work hard to be different. I always hate when I notice it.

She also has some kind of mental disorder. I don't know if she's diagnosed, or what the details are, but Something is up with her medically. She's kind of crazy cleanliness and germs. I'm not a doctor but it seems like ocd to me. She has chronically dry skin on her hands and will wash them to the point they look terrible, painful even. She's incredibly difficult in public spaces, restaurants, physical contact. It's everything. She loved pets and was affectionate with animals to hating pets and animals. I know she would have some kind of appointments when I was kid my parents would never talk about. That could have nothing to do with it. Some other family also mentioned she may have taken some anti-biotics when I was young. I was born 91, so something in the late 80s to early 90s that got recalled, and they blame some of her personality changes on that. . My older family isn't particularly educated and medical distrust isn't common so I have no idea if what they said had validity or it's just their distrust. I've never dug into it too deeply. I think it's because understanding won't really change anything. It won't change my past, or how my mother is now nor my approach to her.

It's about 3 and a half hours of driving to get to my hometown from here, which really isn't too bad, so I go spend a weekend there about once a month. The hardest part is deciding if I'm sleeping over at my mom's house or at my dad's lol. My dad kept my childhood home when my parents separated, and I'm more comfortable there so it's where I usually go. My whole family lives in the same area, so I get to see everyone when I go. Part of why I visit regularly is also because of my grandparents; they can't drive for longer periods of time anymore, so it's easier to go visit them than for them to come here, unless my mom drives them down. I have my own car so I can go whenever I want.

My parents and my brother are also down here fairly regularly, so I still get to see them often even if I can't go visit for a bit. One of my aunts is often in my area for work too, so we get to see each other more when she's around.

I try to visit most weekends if I'm not busy working. They're about 200 miles away, so it's a lot of miles, but I love seeing them and helping out around the property

We disagree on a lot of things, but we've always loved and supported each other.