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4 votes
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A Utah therapist built a reputation for helping gay Latter-day Saints. These men say he sexually abused them.
13 votes -
A new mode of cancer treatment
8 votes -
Storing dead people at -196°C
44 votes -
Sweden brush Argentina aside to tee up last-sixteen meeting with USA at the Women's World Cup
6 votes -
Cloud Servers for the Broke
Just wanted to put this out there as a little PSA in case it's helpful: if you want a cloud server but don't wanna pay anything, Oracle's Free Tier is a life saver. Discovered it a year ago and...
Just wanted to put this out there as a little PSA in case it's helpful: if you want a cloud server but don't wanna pay anything, Oracle's Free Tier is a life saver. Discovered it a year ago and couldn't be happier I did, since I'd never pay for cloud computing otherwise 😭.
Quick Specs:
For free you get:
- 24/7 uptime
- 200gb of storage space
- 24GB of RAM
- 4 OCPUs
- 4 Gbps Bandwidth
That's been more than enough for me and honestly feels too good to be true. Some things I've done with this:
- Minecraft Server
- Radarr/Sonarr Plex Setup
- I'd like to make my own backup solution as well!
If anyone has any other ideas for cool projects I could self host, please do tell I'm curious what else I could do :)
48 votes -
Superconductor breakthrough replicated, twice, in preliminary testing
https://www.tomshardware.com/news/superconductor-breakthrough-replicated-twice
48 votes -
Which computational notebooks do you like?
Here's a nice website for comparing between a lot of different computational notebooks, such as Jupyter, Google Colab, and Observable. (And popularized by Mathematica, though spreadsheets sort of...
Here's a nice website for comparing between a lot of different computational notebooks, such as Jupyter, Google Colab, and Observable. (And popularized by Mathematica, though spreadsheets sort of count.)
I'm wondering what computational notebook software other people have used and how you like it? I will make top-level posts for some that I used.
20 votes -
Artificial intelligence and internet of things for sustainable farming and smart agriculture
6 votes -
What is some life advice that has stuck with you throughout the years?
There's tons and tons of life advice quotes and phrases out there, but I'm curious to hear which ones in particular have been actually impactful for ya'll.
80 votes -
What have you been eating, drinking, and cooking?
What food and drinks have you been enjoying (or not enjoying) recently? Have you cooked or created anything interesting? Tell us about it!
18 votes -
"Short Term 12 remains that rarest of things: a truly undiscovered jewel. A diamond still buried in coal."
11 votes -
Federal jury acquits Louisiana trooper caught on camera pummeling Black motorist
30 votes -
What is everyone using for managing their contacts?
Hi everyone, I'm struggling with contact management and was wondering if anyone could recommend some good solutions. My Google Contacts and iOS contact management has become unmanageable and I...
Hi everyone, I'm struggling with contact management and was wondering if anyone could recommend some good solutions. My Google Contacts and iOS contact management has become unmanageable and I personally find them very awkward to use.
15 votes -
A "low-risk" AMA thread for everyone
Historically, I've found the most interesting AMA's came from seemingly "ordinary" people. (touchmyfuckingcoffee's vacuum AMA's come to mind!) I think that most everyone has one or two life...
Historically, I've found the most interesting AMA's came from seemingly "ordinary" people. (touchmyfuckingcoffee's vacuum AMA's come to mind!) I think that most everyone has one or two life experiences, points of view, or specialized knowledge that would be fun to share or fun to learn about.
I've toyed with the idea of hosting an AMA for awhile, but I've been afraid that maybe I wasn't "interesting" enough. Then, I realized that others might be in the same position! So instead of hosting my own AMA, I wanted to make space for a collective "Low-Risk" AMA, that I think would work especially well with Tildes' philosophy and format.
With that preamble, I'm wondering if you would like to join me in an experiment? Let's make mini-AMA's out of top-level comments, with the Q's and A's as child comments.
Edit: Wow! I wasn't expecting this thread to have so much staying power! Love all the conversations that are being had. FYI The early posters including myself are still answering questions, so don't be shy!
191 votes -
I'm generally confused about dating women
Tale as old as time, I suppose. Straight man doesn't understand women. I'm hoping this site will provide a healthy place to discuss my feelings and get wholesome input from others without it...
Tale as old as time, I suppose. Straight man doesn't understand women. I'm hoping this site will provide a healthy place to discuss my feelings and get wholesome input from others without it turning into a pity party or cesspool.
I didn't have any interest in dating until after I'd graduated college. Unfortunately, I immediately moved to an area of the country notorious for its unfavorable gender ratio. There are many more men than women here which means I'm starting on hard mode. I do at least have some traits which make things easier than for most. I am high earning, reasonably fit (not super cut but I work out most days), tall and I believe mentally healthy. However I can tell that my approach doesn't really catch with most people.
I've had limited success out here. Some of my failures are mine to own. Getting started from nothing means I'm venturing into the unknown. I'm a naturally anxious person and never felt any intuition in social situations. Thankfully I've managed to figure out a way of being that jives with some people and learned the hard way the things I do that don't jive so well. But dating seems to have its own social rules - and they're harder to learn due to all of the misinformation.
To sort out a lot of the misinformation I look to the people I see with the greatest degree of success. The older couples that are clearly deeply happy. My parents do pretty well in that regard. They've been married for 30-ish years with nothing more than a short argument between them. Or maybe I'll talk with an older co-worker who loves his wife the same way he did decades ago. People say that all happy families are the same, and unhappy families each broken in their own way. It's clear that there are some things in common with the happy couples - a universal recipe for happiness and success.
- Forgiveness
- Consistent effort
- Flexibility
- Similar values
I try to take these virtues with me when dating.
Of course, mutual attraction is a black box and also plays an important role. I've tried dating women that are just outside of what I would consider attractive. I think it's important to know what truly is important to me. But I found that things did not feel right and I can't compromise in that way. I'm not looking for a 10. But if I know they are not attractive to me it won't work.
In the normal world (outside of online dating) I think the odds of a random person being instantly notably attractive are very low. Someone needs to be sufficiently aesthetically attractive, but also have the right mind and soul. Without the latter two I have no interest. So for me when I've met a nice woman from a dating app the process of learning more about this person begins - and it can take a while to truly get to know someone. But I draw on the virtue of effort and am more than willing to make that an active process as we get closer.
There are actually some people out there that this all seems to align with. I think it's mostly a matter of time before I find the right person - so I'm not entirely discouraged. But the vast majority of women I meet seem to have the same feedback. They don't feel a connection - maybe that translates to "they're not attracted enough to me", maybe it's something else. But what I call a "connection" is something that can't be absolutely determined after one date.
Given my profile pictures are representative of my appearance, I don't think they're all saying I'm aesthetically unattractive to them. Sure, some might decide after meeting me that they aren't as attracted in person. I experience that for myself some of the time. But I suspect that much of the time this is more of a mismatched approach. I really want to know either how better to find my kind of person, or what ways I can adapt to be flexible for the women I'm dating.
Edit: Thank you everyone for your thoughts!
A lot of people said a lot of things, many of which sounds right to me but only a few I think are applicable as next steps.
- My own reflection leads me to believe that being more present and less analytical will make dates more enjoyable and productive for both people.
- Keeping a very long term goal in mind cripples the dynamic of early dating. It requires future prediction abilities beyond what a human can do.
- I don't know if I can be the "fun guy" all the time but I can definitely increase the amount of fun.
I wrote up a journal entry about what I wrote here and everyone's responses. I'll bring up my thoughts with my therapist later. Maybe this is weird but I threw the journal entry into ChatGPT. If nothing else it was positive and cheerful, which is helpful. But I was able to drill down on a few different things and got answers that sound reasonable. This is surely a common enough topic that it's got good training data for it.
I'd also like to say, for whoever reads my comments, that much of what I wrote is more about following a thought as far as it will go more so than putting my internal constitution into writing. I'm here to be as malleable as I need to be.
70 votes -
FedFingerprinting: A federated learning approach to website fingerprinting attacks in Tor networks
6 votes -
Teaching myself calculus at sixty-five
24 votes -
AWS eIP price change. What's your plan?
28 votes -
Hatsune Miku - JPop Heart Sutra (2011)
9 votes -
Tilweaks: A user style I made to "clean up" Tildes' interface
This was originally made just for personal use, but I decided to clean it up and share it. Should support all built-in themes (Themes other than Dracula were afterthoughts and might not be as...
This was originally made just for personal use, but I decided to clean it up and share it.
- Should support all built-in themes (Themes other than Dracula were afterthoughts and might not be as polished. Especially light themes)
- All changes are toggle-able
Changes
- Configurable font size
- Remove sidebar background
- Make the sidebar primary button clear (border only)
- Add a border to the "main" element
- Add extra spacing to various elements
- Remove the alternating background from thread colors
- Remove comment borders
- Add depth indicators (dotted left border for children only)
- Add comment backgrounds (to separate comments without borders)
- Hide votes (disabled by default)
Installation
- Install a custom style plugin of your choosing that supports UserCSS and the Stylus preprocessor.
- I used Stylus while making this (Firefox, Google Chromium)
- Click this link:
Configuration under Stylus
- Open the extension popup in when in tildes.net
- Click the cog next to Tilweaks
- Edit to your liking
20 votes -
East Africa port workers inspired to fight wildlife crime after “game-changing” WildAid campaign
9 votes -
Sinéad Griffin of Lawrence Berkeley National Lab publishes simulations supporting LK-99 as a room temperature superconductor
84 votes -
This building nearly broke Taipei. The Taipei Performing Arts Center; Over budget, a decade under construction, and one of Asia's most important cultural buildings.
18 votes -
Anyone else feel/used to feel that they will be alone both platonically and romantically, forever?
I have cptsd and comorbid-depression, am gay and trans, and i have bad social skills (i cant even maintain eye contact with someone). I feel completely hopeless for the future and i just wanted to...
I have cptsd and comorbid-depression, am gay and trans, and i have bad social skills (i cant even maintain eye contact with someone). I feel completely hopeless for the future and i just wanted to know if anyone else here related, or if they've recovered. Thanks
Edit: Thank you all very much for the great responses. Maybe i'll make it :)37 votes -
Meta is releasing AudioCraft: Generative AI for audio made simple and available to all
34 votes -
"Blood on your hands" - The legal dimension of metaphors in the case of Zooey Zephyr
7 votes -
People who make smoothies, what are your favorite ingredient combinations or spices?
My husband just presented me with a cantelope based smoothie to which he added cardomom. I don't know what if any other ingrediants. It's pretty good. Looking forward to your discussion and ideas.
42 votes -
I spent a week alone in the Metaverse
39 votes -
How cruise ships got so big
6 votes -
Midweek Movie Free Talk
Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here. Please just try to provide fair warning of...
Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.
Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.
9 votes -
Five tips for using PubPeer to investigate scientific research errors and misconduct
8 votes -
Charles Henry Turner’s insights into animal behavior were a century ahead of their time
4 votes -
Donny Cates' absence is due to recovering from a severe car accident
4 votes -
Adventures with pf, nix darwin, and Tailscale on macOS Ventura
11 votes -
Analysis of self driving vehicle experience and suggestions re LLMs and other AI
10 votes -
What US recession? It's a summer of splurging, profits and girl power
19 votes -
Re:Zero Anime's 3rd season reveals 2nd teaser visual
12 votes -
Any people here who are also interested in a "low-tech lifestyle?"
As an ex-Redditor, I only subscribed to 3 subreddits: /r/dumbphones /r/nosurf /r/simpleliving As someone who is incorporating more of an "offline" vs. "online" life, and downgrading some elements...
As an ex-Redditor, I only subscribed to 3 subreddits:
/r/dumbphones
/r/nosurf
/r/simplelivingAs someone who is incorporating more of an "offline" vs. "online" life, and downgrading some elements to live a lifestyle that's more focus on the present and get out of the house more (family, kids, pets, walking, etc.) instead of just reading and absorbing tons of information on my laptop.
Are there any people here who are interested in this or is there a section on Tildes for this already? (I know Reddit is a much bigger site, just dipping my toes in the water to see if there is something like that on here already.)
36 votes -
The offbeat, wonderful Keita Takahashi, creator of Katamari
20 votes -
American Physician Partners is latest physician staffing firm to fold — it follows Envision, and physicians consider further consequences of difficult market
9 votes -
Tren, a game within a game, is a window into the spirit of Media Molecule
15 votes -
US Congress is debating the controversial surveillance power in section 702 - White House and privacy advocates have strong opinions
10 votes -
Any good places to find old (but good condition) hardbacks?
So, I’ve recently remodeled my home office and added a big Murphy bed and bookcase wall unit. It is massive, amazing, and not nearly full enough for my literary standards. :) I’ve been hunting for...
So, I’ve recently remodeled my home office and added a big Murphy bed and bookcase wall unit. It is massive, amazing, and not nearly full enough for my literary standards. :)
I’ve been hunting for older, good condition, hardbacks from some of my favorite authors. I’m a massive Clive Barker fan (Imajica, Weaveworld, The Great and Secret Show, etc) and have been trying to track down good editions on eBay. I find it’s really hit or miss, and Amazon is really no better. Short of exploring Etsy for stuff (and my local thrift stores, which have not been remotely useful) are there any good places on the internet I should check out?
There was a time when googling for this worked, now it’s rather useless.
Thanks, all!
15 votes -
Hackers exploited a zero-day flaw in Ivanti's software undetected for at least three months, US and Norwegian cybersecurity agencies warn
14 votes -
Get the lowdown on 'e/acc' — Silicon Valley's favorite obscure theory about progress at all costs, which has been embraced by Marc Andreessen
32 votes -
[preprint] Suicide after leaving the UK Armed Forces 1996-2018: a cohort study
13 votes -
Solar panels on water canals seem like a no-brainer. So why aren’t they widespread?
32 votes -
Settling in to new social media patterns after the "Rexxit"
I thought I'd share my own patterns as a writing prompt to hear yours. Tildes -- This keyboard-to-keyboard connection we have here is why I loved Reddit years ago. It's slow-brain (vs....
I thought I'd share my own patterns as a writing prompt to hear yours.
- Tildes -- This keyboard-to-keyboard connection we have here is why I loved Reddit years ago. It's slow-brain (vs. fast-brain), considerate, insightful, enjoyable, and yet doesn't waste my time.
- Lemmy -- This has my hopes up that it could be a way to find niche communities (one of the strengths of Reddit) in the federated lemmyverse, but instances large and small seem overwhelmed by users who, like me, are still figuring it out. I joined https://lemmy.one/ but I have a feeling that https://lemmy.ml/ is slightly more my style. I might jump or not, but no big difference since the federated communities that I like are available in both places. This may just be me being nitpicky over instance quirks (such as an instance that does not have downvotes or currently allow community creation).
- Mastadon -- Too Twitter for me. I never got (understood) Twitter or its appeal, and I don't understand the appeal of Mastadon, either. I deleted one account that I created and may leave it altogether. If you like/liked Twitter, you'll likely like Mastadon.
- Reddit -- niche interests and citywide subreddits are still valuable to me, but even these were and are dropping in quality due to terse Reddit mobile users and meme-culture and my interest in them is dropping in correlation. I nearly exclusively only read /r/loseit (I'm maintaining -125 pounds lost for 8 years so far) and a multireddit of local subreddits in my local area. Since the Rexxit, I don't look at much else on Reddit.
- Facebook -- like the local and niche subreddits, I read Facebook on and off (mostly off) for these as well. The Facebook Marketplace is the way I find second-hand items locally.
I'm beginning to understand why I'm not practicing my music (Barbershop Harmony) as much as I should recently!
116 votes -
Former US President Donald Trump will find that Special Counsel Jack Smith has dealt with the likes of him—and worse—before
35 votes