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    1. I’m moving across the country in a few days

      I’m moving from the Midwest to California on Tuesday to start graduate school (I’ve been in an post-baccalaureate research position for the last two years). I’ve been so busy packing and making...

      I’m moving from the Midwest to California on Tuesday to start graduate school (I’ve been in an post-baccalaureate research position for the last two years). I’ve been so busy packing and making sure I see friends that I think it hasn’t truly hit me yet. I’ve lived around Chicago my whole life, even during college, so I suppose I’m a bit nervous about the change of location and being so far from friends and family. I’m incredibly excited of course to begin this new phase, but nervous nonetheless.

      Have any of you all ever had big moves in the past? Any advice for settling in a new locale?

      14 votes
    2. 4K screen on 15" laptop - worth it?

      Pricing up my next Thinkpad (I'm a lifer for Thinkpads I think now) and I keep hovering over the 4K screen option. I'm looking at a 15.6" screen. The FHD 14" screen I currently have is lovely and...

      Pricing up my next Thinkpad (I'm a lifer for Thinkpads I think now) and I keep hovering over the 4K screen option. I'm looking at a 15.6" screen. The FHD 14" screen I currently have is lovely and sharp with a decent colour gamut, and I don't think I can see pixels, even now when the machine is literally on my lap. I'd guess the screen is maybe 35cm from my eyes at the moment.

      I don't really game, I do edit photos, video (HD, not 4K) and do a little 3D work with Blender/FreeCAD/etc. I usually run Debian/Gnome, occasionally dropping into Windows because my 3D printer's preferred slicing software is Windows only (grrrr).

      The other bonus to 4K is HDR400 and twice as many nits of brightness but again, I'm not sure that's worth an extra £250. I'd probably turn the brightness down anyway. The HDR is potentially interesting but as I don't watch TV/movies on this machine and my camera doesn't output HDR, that's likely not very useful despite sounding good. I could buy quite a lot more compute power and ram with that money instead..

      I would go and look at one in person but I have no idea where the nearest 4K Thinkpad is, in person, and even if I did, I don't really want to go into shops right now.

      Any thoughts, experiences, advice, etc would be much appreciated.

      9 votes
    3. Turning my tabletop game into a real video game

      So, I am a filmmaker by trade. I understand scripting, pacing, etc. I also have been doing a lot of tabletop design, running a campaign for years with continuity, recurring characters that I...

      So, I am a filmmaker by trade. I understand scripting, pacing, etc. I also have been doing a lot of tabletop design, running a campaign for years with continuity, recurring characters that I design from the ground-up (excluding the rule system, so just all the dungeons, NPCs, plot devices, etc).

      With covid, film production has really slowed down and I have some time on my hands, so I thought about trying my hand at video game making, something I have honestly toyed with for decades, but never did too much of. I did have a brief window in the 00s when I had RPG Maker and I made some demos that my friends enjoyed, but that's about it.

      So, given that my programing knowledge is super limited (I took a few Java classes over a decade ago and used to do HTML in the 90s), my graphics making abilities are near non-existent (I'm good at motion graphics, but not pixel design or 3D graphics), but I have what I think is a good plot, characters and game design, what should be my first steps in trying to make this a reality? What engine should I use? I have no problem buying, for a couple bucks here and there, other people's art and what not. Ideally, probably make a 16-bit esque RPG, like FFIV, Earthbound, etc. but perhaps with more of a BioWare, "choices matter" type dialog/questing system.

      I don't expect to set the world on fire, but I do want to make what would be considered a decent looking first effort from a one man novice that, if nothing else, would be a fun experience for me to make and something fun to give my players as a gift (as we are reaching the end of the story of our campaign). And maybe, why not, something I could release for the broader public if the core is good and it's worth me hiring a few more people to help me polish it. Maybe it won't. As a filmmaker, I know how bad first films are, and a lot of times they are just learning experiences that you keep on a hard drive locked away somewhere. So, trying to be realistic while excited.

      Appreciate advice.

      14 votes
    4. A friendly reminder: If you own a bicycle, you must own a helmet

      I shivered at the thought of being severely brain-damaged after being hit by a car while cycling about a month ago. I am now extremely humbled by the fragility of the human body. The vehicle that...

      I shivered at the thought of being severely brain-damaged after being hit by a car while cycling about a month ago. I am now extremely humbled by the fragility of the human body. The vehicle that hit me was going really slow--a hard requirement of the lane. An apt cyclist can easily achieve 30 MPH (48km/h). That's enough to do a lot of damage itself. Now imagine a shock with a vehicle coming in the opposite direction at a mere 20 MPH (32km/h) (that’s not what happened to me BTW. I have no recollection of the accident, and no wish to get in touch with the driver. I don’t resent him at all, in fact he was extremely caring and wanted to ride with me in the ambulance but my mom was already occupying the only spot).

      I'm terrible at physics but you guys and girls are probably not, so you make the calculations. To sum up, without a helmet a ridiculously "benign" accident at low speeds can literally impair you for life.

      After the crash, my helmet went into pieces. I wish someone had got it so I can visualize the extent of my luck. It was an old helmet that should have been replaced at least 2 years ago. It cost me about 30 bucks and probably saved my life or cognition.

      So, cyclists: own a helmet and use it whenever you're on the bike even if there are no cars around. A skilled cyclist can still crash all by himself/herself. And a car could appear from nowhere.

      Some people get brain damage by falling in the bathroom. Why would you be safer waltzing around on top of a metal frame?

      41 votes
    5. [SOLVED] Archiving a deceased loved one's Twitter timeline, including media

      Recently a loved one of a friend has died and they would like to archive their entire timeline (no retweets), including media they posted. I've looked around a little bit and the Twitter API only...

      Recently a loved one of a friend has died and they would like to archive their entire timeline (no retweets), including media they posted.

      I've looked around a little bit and the Twitter API only allows 3200 tweets to be exported. As this includes RTs, this goes back to about 2018, while the account was made in 2011, so it's missing about 90% of their tweets. Also, getting all the media isn't really possible.

      Do any of you know a way to accomplish this? Or, can anyone direct me to scripts that crawl the page and save every non-RT tweet + potential media? I'm not very tech-oriented but I can at least run python scripts.

      I should mention that I've so far checked out Allmytweets.net (returns RTs) and the Twitter archival project (or whatever it's called), which is a group of people that help in archiving accounts, but they haven't responded yet.

      13 votes
    6. Life has gotten a lot more stressful for me lately

      I find it difficult to reach out to people, especially so publicly, but this shit is getting out of hand, and I need to let it out. Tonight I couldn't sleep because I've lost some sensitivity in...

      I find it difficult to reach out to people, especially so publicly, but this shit is getting out of hand, and I need to let it out.

      Tonight I couldn't sleep because I've lost some sensitivity in my left arm. You know how you get the numbness in your arm in the morning when you sleep on it at night? Except I haven't: it just started to go off slowly, fully functional but clearly numb in places. Tonight's different because in addition to my arm, like the last time, several other parts of my body express the same symptom: my right foot and my right shoulder. It's one of the most terrifying things I've experienced in a long time.

      I think stress is finally getting to me.

      I'm pretty sure it's stress because I'm an otherwise-healthy young male with no history of chronic disease – or susceptability to common ones, even – with a stable diet and lifestyle. I haven't had significant changes in my routines or preferences for a long time, except for the fact that I started walking more. I haven't been outside the city, let alone the country, for almost a year.

      The only major thing that's changed is my living situation.

      I've been trying to make it as an independent creator – writer, developer, designer, modder – for a year now, maybe two. I've been working on several projects publicly and a lot more privately: mostly writing, some development, my website included. It hasn't been arduous but has been very long without much result to speak of. I haven't been marketing myself a whole lot, and frankly, there isn't much to show aside from a lot of peripheral talk (like the production logs of the website or Mythos).

      I live alone in a small studio owned by my parents. They also afford me a small weekly fund of about $27, for just about $110/mo.. Even in Russia, where I live, that isn't a lot of money – you get to buy just about enough food for a month, and that's it – but I get it for existing, so I don't complain. On the surface, it's a stable and excellent arrangement that I should be nothing but grateful for.

      Last week, I made an error in telling my parents it might be a good idea to sell the studio and use the funds to move to a bigger city and let myself live off them while I develop my non-career career path (they've made it clear with anything but a written statement this studio is meant to be for me, and the ownership is but a formality to avoid paying more taxes). My mother lashed out at me: how stupid of an idea it was to rent when I have a perfectly-good apartment, and where would I end up when I eventually spend everything down to the last dime... I don't remember the rest of it 'cause I tuned it out, for the sake of my emotional stability at the time.

      I haven't told them about what I'm trying to accomplish here: they think I'm looking for a site designer position. I haven't told them a lot of things: about my depression, about my anxiety, about what I like, what I want, what I need... I wouldn't want them to know 'cause I already feel trapped in their influence on my life. They've been helicopter-parenting my whole life, and every time I tried to gain that much autonomy and freedom, I've been met with resistance, and blame, and "what will people think of you", and even fake tears. There's no dialogue to be had, and the energy it takes to make any kind of meaningful progress is the energy I don't have.

      So, I've been trying quietly to make it on my own.

      I've been using depression-induced mood swings to maintain some degree of order in my life, but recently it's become impossible. My apartment is a mess, and I keep up only what I immediately need; even that takes a lot. I had a brief few days of victory recently when I push through sleeping later and later until I started waking up very early, when I feel most energetic and positive – and even that eventually washed away. It's a good day when I'm able to get one thing done. The rest of them I weather out as best I can, including spending much more on comfort food (and gaining proportional weight) than I should. It also usually involves a lot of gaming and mindless watching of Internet videos, for what seems to me obvious reasons.

      I've been through periods like these before, but they've never felt quite so hopeless. I need to make money to get the freedom I need, which I can't do because I barely have the energy, which is because I can barely afford to live through the week with the vices that keep me steady, which I need because I don't have the freedom I need...

      I'm not lazy. I can work long days. I have been working long days on projects that promised some degree of "more freedom". Back when I thought Intergrid would be my saving grace, I'd work studiously to make it happen by a set deadline. Earlier still, I'd work for $80/mo. on a website redesign that didn't go through. (It was for a friend, and what may be a quarter of rent for you had been almost double my monthly allowance, and it was perfectly enough 'cause I was enjoying the work.) I don't waste my days on senseless entertainment if I can help it: I have several projects I'm working on when I can, that I enjoy doing and would do for free if I had a financial base otherwise.

      So why not find a job?

      The jobs I did hold previously – a couple of days each – gave me no hope for finding something locally. I live in a semi-rural region of Russia where modern job opportunities aren't very present. People here work hard physically but not intellectually. (First-world problems, I know, but at this stage I can't afford to waste what little energy I have.) Jobs elsewhere? I don't think I'd cut it. For all my experimentation and trying things out and showing bits and pieces here and there, I don't have a portfolio worth a damn, and the last time I tried making one felt like grinding my teeth on a metal rail. That $80/mo. job I had, I had because I mentioned to a friend that I could take that thing he wanted to do for him, and he said "Yeah, okay, you've been talking a lot about web design so far, handle it for me". I don't think someone who doesn't know me would be that trusting.

      So it feels like doing something I enjoy – which doesn't take away what little energy I have – is the only way for me, at least at the moment. Make enough to be able to move out to most places in Russia and not have to worry about food and the roof over my shoulder.

      What I'm going to try is stick to a schedule. I prefer to take my time, work out the kinks and iron out the bugs before publishing something. Given the circumstances, however, it may be time to employ some mental tools. I've heard advice before about publishing a story, or a sketch, or an episode of the podcast every month, or ever week, as long as it's on rails. Good story? Bad story? It goes out. I have a few stories I want to tell, but I've been keeping 'em "unlisted" for a long time now, hoping to work it all out beforehand. Maybe rough as they are, I'm better off with them seeing the light of day. Like I said: I'm not lazy. I just need to find a way to make it work.

      20 votes
    7. How do I talk to my girlfriend about her past sexual assault?

      I've been in a relationship with my current girlfriend for almost a year now, and things seem rough right now because of an issue we're having. My girlfriend is upset with me because she thinks I...

      I've been in a relationship with my current girlfriend for almost a year now, and things seem rough right now because of an issue we're having.

      My girlfriend is upset with me because she thinks I don't care about her past trauma. She's told me, very roughly, what she's gone through, and I told her that whenever she's ready to talk about it, I absolutely will. But according to her, the last time she tried to initiate talking about it, I told her that I had no idea what to say. And this upset her and stonewalled the discussion.

      I don't doubt that happened. My problem is, is that if she were to try again, I might just very well do the same thing. I have zero idea on how to handle something of this severity. How do I ask her to talk about it? Is that something I should be asking? What does someone even say when given this information? I am not equipped whatsoever to deal with information of this magnitude and I'm at a loss. How do I let her know that I really do care about her, and am 100% willing to listen to what she has to say? I worry I'm too far in the doghouse to even make use of any of this advice, but any help is immensely appreciated

      Edit in case anyone was interested: We talked and we're okay :). She told me what she went through and I didn't handle it nearly as bad as I worried I was going to. Thanks everyone for your kind words and helpful advice.

      17 votes
    8. When should you consider it a good idea to delete your comments?

      (I'm tagging as ask.advice and ask.discussion because while my motivation to make this comes from my comments I'm not the only one who this could apply to and deleting coments is very much a...

      (I'm tagging as ask.advice and ask.discussion because while my motivation to make this comes from my comments I'm not the only one who this could apply to and deleting coments is very much a general topic.)

      So basically, I wrote this comment, noone agrees with it and the contrary takes all are upvoted, so should I delete it? If noone agreed with what I had to say and upvoted contrary answers, then what I said wasn't valuable to anyone, and so I should delete it, right?

      This also applies to quite a few comments I have written that have 0 votes like this, this this and this.

      In the other hand, measuring a comment's value by how many people voted on it isn't that great and leaving clarifications and tecnical/minor details and if someone replied, even if only to point out your comment as wrong or not so unlikely, so other than the third comment, you can argue they aren't entirely bad. (And leaving someone's answer without a question is pretty bad if someone comes later since they wouldn't know why that answer was there.) So where does one draw the line?

      11 votes
    9. How to design a database?

      I'm working on an application that allows a user to view playlists belonging to a particular radio show and stream/download/favourite the tracks in them. It has 4 core entities: User, Show,...

      I'm working on an application that allows a user to view playlists belonging to a particular radio show and stream/download/favourite the tracks in them. It has 4 core entities: User, Show, Playlist and Track.

      • Each show has multiple playlists (one-to-many)
      • Each playlist has multiple tracks (one-to-many)

      To be able to reference a playlist belonging to a particular show. I gave those playlists the same uuid as the show they belong to. A few questions though.

      1. Is this the right/best way to associate data?
      2. As a track could potentially belong to multiple playlists, I can't take the same approach as I do for (show/playlist) How would be best to handle this? Ideally I would like to have a single "Track" table containing all tracks for all playlists.

      For any experienced database designers out there, how would you structure this data? What would you consider in designing the schema and why? If I did go with 4 tables only, presumably there would be performance implications given the potential amount of data in any one of those tables, particularly tracks. If that is the case, how best to structure this kind of thing with performance in mind? Thanks in advance for any help :)

      For reference, in case it's of importance, I'm using sqlite3.

      5 votes
    10. Architecture for untrained software engineers (Python)

      Hey everyone, I've been programming for some time now but notice without any formalized education in CS I often get lost in the weeds when it comes to developing larger applications. I'm familiar...

      Hey everyone,

      I've been programming for some time now but notice without any formalized education in CS I often get lost in the weeds when it comes to developing larger applications. I'm familiar with the principles of TDD and SOLID - which have helped with maintainability - however still feel that I'm lacking in the ability to architect a properly structured system. As an example, I'm currently developing a flask REST API for a website (just for learning purposes). This involves parsing a html response and serializing the result as JSON. I'm still quite unclear as to structuring this sort of thing. If any more experienced developers could point me in the right direction/offer up their opinion I'd be very appreciative. Currently I have something like this (based - I hope correctly? - on uncle bob's clean architecture).

      Firstly, I'm defining the domain model. i.e the structure of the API response. Then, from outside in.

      1. Infrastructure (Flask): User makes request via interface (in my case a request to some endpoint)
      2. Adapters: request object checks if the request is valid (on the way back it checks if the response is valid) - Is this layer only for error handling?
      3. Repository: I'm struggling a bit here, AFAIUI this layer is traditionally a database. In my case however, where the request is valid, is this where I should handle the networking layer? i.e all the requests to return the website source? I'm also confused given at this stage I should be returning the relevant domain model, like an ORM, but as my data is unstructured, in order to do this I need to transform the response first. Where would it be best to handle this?
      4. Use Cases: Here I transform the domain model depending on the request. For example, filter all objects by id. Have I understood this correctly?
      5. Serializers: Encode the domain model as JSON to return from flask route.

      If you got this far, thanks so much for reading. I really hope to hear the opinions of more experienced devs who can steer me in the right direction/correct me should I have misunderstood anything.

      8 votes
    11. Designer to Developer Handoff Process

      I am a fullstack developer that spends a good portion of my time building out complex User Interfaces, and the rest building out back-ends for that software. In my opinion the current method that...

      I am a fullstack developer that spends a good portion of my time building out complex User Interfaces, and the rest building out back-ends for that software. In my opinion the current method that my company uses for a designer to developer hand off is a bit lacking in efficiency.

      The current method is usually a designer will provide a developer with a Photoshop (or very occasionally an Illustrator) file containing the entire applications design. It is then up to the developer to export assets (both quick exporting things as pngs, going through and separating shadows from assets, or creating assets from the layers provided) and dig through the file to determine fonts and placement of items.

      Is it a common expectation that a developer should be spending a good chunk of time in Adobe on asset manipulation?

      Additionally does anyone have any process or program suggestions that may make life easier?

      3 votes
    12. What can we do to support voter turnout in the US elections this fall?

      There is an important election in the United States this fall, and we've all heard a lot of concern expressed about efforts to suppress the vote. Under the shadow of all the other issues we're...

      There is an important election in the United States this fall, and we've all heard a lot of concern expressed about efforts to suppress the vote. Under the shadow of all the other issues we're currently facing as a society, I know a lot of people who are asking "what concrete actions can I take to make a difference?" It seems like helping to get out the vote is one very important action.

      So here's a question to the Tildes community: what suggestions do you have about how we (as individuals) can help get out the vote this fall? Big or small, donating money or doing physical work -- what can we do?

      15 votes
    13. Cheap/small alternative to the guitar

      Being cooped up inside has made me realize how much time I spend in front of screens, for work and for play. I think it would be healthy for me to try to find something that's not screen related...

      Being cooped up inside has made me realize how much time I spend in front of screens, for work and for play. I think it would be healthy for me to try to find something that's not screen related to do but remain socially distant, and I think learning to play an instrument would be a good candidate.

      The problem is, I don't know which one to learn. When I was in middle/early high school I played the drum set, but having moved out on my own I certainly don't have the space for that anymore. I also thought about the recorder, since people play cool medieval music on it, but I'd rather not subject my neighbors to the shrill monstrosity that is someone learning to play recorder. I like the type of music that can be played on a guitar, but ideally I'd like something physically smaller, and perhaps a little more interesting. Also, for social distancing's sake, it would be ideal if it was an instrument where it is possible to teach oneself how to play.

      Am I overcomplicating things and should just learn guitar? Are there any instruments that hit inexpensive, self teachable, small, and can be used in music in ways similar to a guitar?

      13 votes
    14. Seeking good anti-malware to replace AVG Free

      Hi. AVG's been bugging me with reminders to renew my subscription recently, but I don't have the money for that. I've been using AVG Free for years, but each time I trial the full edition it seems...

      Hi. AVG's been bugging me with reminders to renew my subscription recently, but I don't have the money for that. I've been using AVG Free for years, but each time I trial the full edition it seems to install as a separate program, and then I have to manually revert back to the free version once the trial's up. The only other anti-malware I use is MalwareBytes (free again).

      I'm not too worried about using a VPN, and have been advised to avoid the free ones anyway. I'd really just like a decent alternative to AVG Free that won't mess with my Steam games or pester me to upgrade several times a day. I have almost no experience with other anti-malware programs, so I'd rather ask people in the know for advice than just install something straight away and find out that it does one of the aforementioned annoying things.

      ...Should I use a free VPN? I'm trying to save as much of my scant moolah as I can, and I do occasionally torrent things, but the free ones are allegedly a little shady.

      5 votes
    15. I'm stuck in an endless loop

      For several years now (4-5-ish, but hard to pin down when it started), I have been stuck in a cycle of enervation/depression. I don't really like to use the word 'depression' to describe this,...

      For several years now (4-5-ish, but hard to pin down when it started), I have been stuck in a cycle of enervation/depression. I don't really like to use the word 'depression' to describe this, because in my youth (I'm in my early 50s now), I suffered from serious bouts of extreme depression, and by comparison, this is a walk in the park ... so I've gotten into the habit of colloquially referring to is as "ennui".

      The duration varies (a lot), but the cycle is most often roughly 7-14 days long, where 60-70% of the time, my energy, motivation, my ability to focus on and accomplish tasks ... all goes into the toilet, and I spend most of my day reading news, surfing the 'Net, playing video games, watching re-runs, walking about town with my dog, or even just sleeping. The other 30-40% of my time, I feel good -- clear-headed, focused, motivated and energized -- and I spend most of this time catching up on all the stuff I neglected during the ennui phase, and making Grand Plans for the future.

      It is hard to tell, objectively, whether I am getting better, worse, or just treading water ... in part, because the cycle varies enough that it's hard to see any clear trends over anything less than 6-8 month time frame ... but more so because my ability to objectively assess my status is so colored by the cycle itself ... when I am in one of my ennui phases, it feels like I am getting worse or, at best, maintaining. When I am in the manic-ish phase, I feel like I will never feel unmotivated again, and I must often remind myself that it is temporary, and in another day or 3, I will be back in a funk. As objectively as I can be, however, I think I am actually treading water or, possibly, getting gradually worse at a very glacial pace.

      I know the "up" phase of my cycle sounds a lot like the manic- part of a manic-depressive bipolar thing. Maybe it is; as I said, it is hard to be objective. That said, though, I am really, really confident that, prior to the beginning of this, ~5-ish years ago ... that "manic" phase was my normal state of mind. I used to be a very focused, productive individual.

      So ... I've tried many different things to address this. Assorted doctor visits have mostly concluded that either they don't know what the problem is, and/or, I'm exaggerating/imagining it (no doctor has explicitly said this -- it is my interpretation of "we can't find anything wrong with you"). I've tried increased exercise, more time outdoors, more sleep, less sleep, meditation, a wide variety of changes in diet, vitamins/minerals/supplements, etc. I've lost over 40 lbs. I'm currently trying (for a 2nd time) large daily doses of turmeric, and contemplating trying (also for a 2nd time) a round of tDCS self-treatment.

      For context, I am right now on an upswing, coming out of my latest "ennui" phase and feeling optimistic and productive.


      I should also add that I have another issue ... one that I believe is unrelated, but sounds similar when I describe it. This dates back to about 15-16 years ago, and is another thing I have seen many doctors for, and tried various things to remedy. In a nutshell, about 15 years ago, I got dumber. Prior to that, my ability to learn and remember, my executive functions, my ability to deduce, my ability to focus and prioritize and plan ... were all much better.

      Over the course of 12-18 months, I lost a lot of my mental functions. For anyone who has read it, it felt a lot like the tail-end of the book "Flowers For Algernon". The simplest quantifiable example I can give of this is the notion of ... how many things are on your mental shopping list (stuff you need to get at the grocery store) before you realize you better write it down? For me, prior to this loss, my magic "I'm gonna forget stuff if I don't write it down" number was around 12-13 items, that I could fairly confidently remember. Afterwards, that number dropped to around 3.

      At that time, my doctor found a (benign) lump in my throat (a goiter), and ultimately, they removed half of my thyroid. After they removed it, over the course of 6-12 months, my mental faculties improved again, but I feel to this day, that they never returned to anything close to what they were before. My mental "shopping list" number today is around 5.

      Multiple tests since then have repeatedly confirmed that my half-of-a-thyroid is fully getting the job done, and I do not need any kind of supplemental hormone treatment -- with the possible exception of testosterone (ps: I'm a guy), which I tried for a little while -- and dammit, it helped, too -- but then I freaked out and quit once I started reading about side-effects.


      I am writing this explicitly looking for suggestions and advice. Keep in mind, though, that (I'm guessing here), 80-90% of my responses will be "already tried it, didn't help".

      In advance, danke y gracias.

      16 votes
    16. Should I give up from programming?

      This is gonna be kinda of a personal mess. My background is in film. In Bahia, Brazil. I understand this is a very personal question with numerous factors to take in, some on which I'll absolutely...

      This is gonna be kinda of a personal mess.

      My background is in film. In Bahia, Brazil.

      I understand this is a very personal question with numerous factors to take in, some on which I'll absolutely not be able to convey.

      I'm not looking for any definitive life advice because I know that's impossible. I just wanna hear perspectives from some smart people that might help me understand my situation. I've recently been through a (kind of a) life and death situation. I'd be dead or with severe neurological trauma without a helmet.

      This made me rethink a lot of stuff about my goals and my life in general. I feel I can confide on Tildes, you people are usually caring and smart and awesome. I'm also a bit emotional, so please be gentle. Spending 24 hours on a hospital bed contemplating death and incapacitation kind does that too with you.

      I won't change many details because fuck it, I don't thank there are a lot of people in the world wanting to dox me. And Google already knows everything about me anyway.

      I have two very serious psychiatric diagnostics that impart my life in serious ways: bipolar disorder (type II, thankfully) and ADHD. I'm also suspected to be on the autism spectrum but I don't have the means to achieve this diagnostic. It would be useful anyway. These conditions seriously impact my ability to sustain a job for long periods and I have a hard time working with teams bigger than three (sometimes not even than).

      I live for free in my mother's conformable apartment, while I she actually spends most of the time on another continent. It's a pretty good deal. But I wanted to be independent.

      About two years ago I decided that work in film (my original major) would never provide me the financial independence I needed. Working in film means traveling a lot, infrequent hours, absurd exploration (its common to sleep 4 hours a day), and rampant drug use. I love film and do have a talent for it, but the environment is simply not conducive to my mental health.

      Of course, now I realize that computer science may also not be conducive to mental health issues at all. The thing is, really like. When I'm lisping, the real illogical world becames more bearable, and I feel in a wonderland of logic, reason, and calming predictabilidade. This doesn't happen as much with other languages such as Python. I also suck at it. So much that's not even funny. I'm addicted to Linux, Emacs, and the command line, but that's kinda it. I became a Vim/Emacs semi specialist. I don't see myself ever doing anything complex. It this my mind, really!

      I've been trying to program for almost 3 years and, beside my super awesome machine, I have nothing to show for myself. I try focusing on using things like Java or Python but I always get sidetracked trying to do some cool shit on Emacs.

      Sometimes I wonder if I should just assume that I won't be able to concentrate on anything else and just learn Emacs Lisp for real. It's frowned upon by a lot of people, but Emacs is a wonderful learning environment and at least I would be doing something. Maybe an interesting package that some people would like to use.

      Right now my choice seems to be between failing to study things that make me miserable (like OOP), but have clear professional possibilities, or focusing on something I actually like that might make a better programmer in the future.

      An important detail: I'm 38 years old and unemployed. My region is not very economically active in that area but I'm afraid to leave it because then I would lose my support network. And the mere notion of being with other people on a daily bases causes me panic attacks.

      And, as a reminder, studying programming with bipolar disorder ADHD is hard as fuck. My ADHD is so severe that I constantly forget what I'm doing withing seconds. That's probably why I like Lisp, which is more regular than other languages and I can get things more easily from context.

      On the other hand, I'm super charming (and not at all modest hahaha) and interesting at parties because my scattered interests make it possible to contribute meaningfully (and sometimes witty) to pretty much any conversation. My success with women is indirectly proportional to may financial troubles.

      Anyway, I know I said this was not about advice, but I kinda lied: what's your advice? Should I keep trying on something I'm not really talented at just because I like it (and it may bring financial rewards in the future).

      Or should I just give up and, try my hand at some shorts and even a novel? (I'm currently on a severe writer's block though, but I do have some talent for it).

      Maybe I could work from home, be some kind of sysadmin (in which case, what would be the quickest and cheapest way to do so?). I absolutely don't wanna create huge complex products, but managing thinks remotely would be awesome.

      I also love philosophy and logic, and, if became suddenly rich, that's what I'd do for the rest of my life. Oh, well.

      12 votes
    17. Male dominated fields

      Are you in a male dominated field or have you been in a male dominated field in the past? What was your experience like? Any funny/heartbreaking/etc. stories or interactions you would like to...

      Are you in a male dominated field or have you been in a male dominated field in the past? What was your experience like? Any funny/heartbreaking/etc. stories or interactions you would like to share? What do/did you like/dislike about it? What would you change? How would the field change if males were no longer the majority? What advice would you give to anyone coming into a male dominated field?

      19 votes
    18. Recommendations to learn SQL?

      I read the AskReddit thread on "What costs less than $100 that changed your life?" (link unavailable since I'm at work) but someone responded "SQL" - jobs just open up that make a ton of money. I...

      I read the AskReddit thread on "What costs less than $100 that changed your life?" (link unavailable since I'm at work) but someone responded "SQL" - jobs just open up that make a ton of money.

      I did a cursory search on Indeed and holy moly they were right -- SQL jobs get easily 2x what I make now. I'm pretty good at Excel and that sort of thinking, so I was thinking I'd try taking a class.

      Do yall have any recommendations as to a good course to take in SQL, preferably online, preferably free or cheap? I'm willing to pay a bit if it'll mean I can make a lot more, but I'm currently not making a ton, haha.

      Any responses welcome, including ideas as to how to break into like, tech-oriented fields as well.

      9 votes
    19. Hackable/moddable electronics?

      I recently came across a cool video on youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxj8JwdQ7Lk&feature=youtu.be - The guy added a 4g connector to his rc plane and I think some extra batteries and...

      I recently came across a cool video on youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxj8JwdQ7Lk&feature=youtu.be - The guy added a 4g connector to his rc plane and I think some extra batteries and managed to fly to the next island over.

      I love stuff like this. Do you guys know any other current electronics that can be modded like this? Sadly it seems like most new consumer electronics come with their own small walled garden and often enough stuff just stops working once the seller goes bankrupt.

      Other things that come to mind are:
      Raspberry Pi
      Arduino
      ESP
      But do you guys know whole systems that are moddable like this?
      The Ryze Tello is a programmable drone, which is pretty cool as well.
      I also saw some people modding 3d printers to laser cutters

      7 votes
    20. As a teacher, what can I do to protect myself and my students should schools reopen in the fall?

      I'm a teacher in the US, and the question of whether schools reopen is very much still up in the air (and location dependent). However, I heard some internal talk from my district that looks like...

      I'm a teacher in the US, and the question of whether schools reopen is very much still up in the air (and location dependent). However, I heard some internal talk from my district that looks like they are, at present, leaning towards a partial reopening that will likely have me back in the building, in-person, with a room of students in the fall.

      Assuming this is the case, I want to prepare now. I'm operating on the following assumptions:

      1. Provisions from the school and district will (allegedly) meet a certain minimum, but there is an effective maximum beyond those measures that I can independently pursue.

      2. Until the virus's spread is contained, the likelihood of someone who is infected with COVID-19 being in my room is non-negligible.

      As such, I'm looking to maximize the safety of myself and others in my room as much as possible. I'm looking for guidance in the following areas:

      1. What are the best, legitimate masks I can get for myself? N95s are out of stock everywhere, or, if they're in stock, they're from sketchy sources that are almost certainly selling fakes.

      2. What are the best masks I can get for students? They are supposed to be bringing their own, and I assume our school will have something in place for kids without them, but if for whatever reason a child makes it to my class without a mask (or breaks theirs or something like that), I'd like to have extras on hand for them.

      3. Is there any other PPE I should look into? Gloves, facemasks, robes, etc. I don't mind wearing whatever will keep me and others safe, even if it looks ridiculous. On the other hand, I don't want to go overboard either.

      4. Where can I get bulk hand sanitizer and/or cleaning wipes? These also seem to be widely out of stock. Also, are there types/brands that are more effective than one another?

      5. Is there anything else I should stock up on now? I'm worried about a run on already low supplies once schools announce reopening plans.

      6. What best practices should I employ while in the classroom setting? I want to protect myself and the kids in my room as much as possible. Anything that I can control to reduce risk (e.g. procedures, ventilation, etc.) I want to implement.

      7. What level of risk am I potentially putting myself in? I need some straight talk here. Be as transparent as possible with me about the reality of what I'm potentially facing.

      8. Is there anything else I need to know or do in advance of the school year starting? I've got time to prepare. I want to make sure I do whatever I can now. Even if it turns out in hindsight that I overprepared, I'll be happier knowing I did everything I could rather than being in a position where I wish I had done more.

      Also I should note that I am willing to pay for quality. I don't want to put my life in the hands of the cheapest options out there. As much as I resent the idea that I would have to pay for any of this myself, I'm not about to gamble on this.

      30 votes
    21. Questions on Destiny 2

      A few questions about the game: Umbral Engrams. I find it weird that we are bombarded with these constantly yet we can only decode them after doing contact which is lvl 990 content. It seems I've...

      A few questions about the game:

      • Umbral Engrams. I find it weird that we are bombarded with these constantly yet we can only decode them after doing contact which is lvl 990 content.
      • It seems I've reached a lvl cap of ~1000 on the gear I'm getting.
      • How do I obtain upgrade modules?
      • Aside from dismantling Legendary gear (which I just found out I can get by increasing reputation with different NPCs), is there a better way to obtain Legendary shards?
      • Any advice on an up-to-date website for reference? Some type wiki for example. Many times I look up for answers and I get an article from 2018 that is totally outdated.
      • I play on PS4. Anyone has a group I can join and try Raids with?
      5 votes
    22. Why do some/most nasal decongestants create feedback loops of congestion and (more importantly for me) how can one get over the withdrawal effects created by it's excessive use, and in what timeframe?

      For context: my mother said that my father has used these decongestants regularly for as long as she has known him. He passed this habit onto me when I was young, originally with Afrin, then...

      For context: my mother said that my father has used these decongestants regularly for as long as she has known him. He passed this habit onto me when I was young, originally with Afrin, then Narix. Given there is a recommendation to not use these decongestants for extensive periods of time and apparently a rebound effect and syndrome called rhinitis medicamentosa comes from ditching it's use after said long periods, my mother decided using it like this is unhealthy and thus cut my use of it for the day, and given this stuff is cited in Wikipedia and a fair number of news/medical articles, it seems legitimate, and thus I agreed.

      After that, my skin is more prone to goosebumps and being overly sensitive, my eyes are watering more, my throat feels more scratchy (although I already woke up with that, before my mother made this decision) my nose is running way more than it used to.
      Can I blame withdrawal on this?
      What happened to me?
      How long does this last?

      And is this site really where I should turn to to try to find out?

      8 votes
    23. Anyone else diagnosed with depression? I need others to talk to

      Hello, So I've been officially diagnosed with depression a few years ago. I am on medication for it and I've done therapy in the past. I am a more functional person than I was, let's say, one year...

      Hello,

      So I've been officially diagnosed with depression a few years ago. I am on medication for it and I've done therapy in the past. I am a more functional person than I was, let's say, one year ago as I've adjusted my medication.

      However there is something that is SEVERELY affecting my quality of life and that is the generalized lack of interest or extreme difficulty in doing almost anything. Yes I've talked with my doctor about this. It's "normal" and we are working on it.

      I don't know many people and COVID-19 took a hit on my already limited social life. So I guess I want to share my experience and hear from others who experience(ed) the same difficulties. When you are trapped in not wanting to do anything, what the hell do you do?

      Recently I've started reading a physical book again. I think it is a good thing for me to have something to do that does not involve a screen. Plus it makes me sleepy if I am a bit tired which, for me personally, is great. Aside from this next experiment, the activities I do the most are playing one or two video games, study for my degree and work part-time.

      Another thing I've started doing is doing the bare minimum in terms of physical exercise. I am working on doing pull-ups (I went from doing 0 to 1,5 =) ) and doing some squats. School and work rob me of a lot of energy so I tend not to exercise. But now I'm trying to at least do something.

      I will try to keep up with this post but I have a tendency to procrastinate on them if I get a lot of replies. Thanks for bearing with me =).

      32 votes
    24. My first DnD character died. What should I do next?

      I've been playing a Tomb of Annihilation campaign with some friends the past few months, and we are all relatively new players (each of us having played about one campaign before). As far as I...

      I've been playing a Tomb of Annihilation campaign with some friends the past few months, and we are all relatively new players (each of us having played about one campaign before). As far as I know this is the first time any of us have been in a campaign where a PC dies. My level 4 wizard was suddenly and violently killed by a flesh golem.

      None of us are exactly sure how to proceed, and there's some disagreement. A few of the people in my party think that any new character should be a level or two behind the party in order to further dis-incentivize dying. I personally think that is too harsh, and luckily it seems like we are reaching a consensus that my new character should be the same level, but I shouldn't be able to play as the same race and class.

      This seems more or less reasonable to me, although to be honest I really enjoyed playing as a wizard so I wouldn't have minded doing so again. I'm mainly curious to hear how you all handle character deaths, and any tips you might have for making a new character mid-campaign.

      10 votes
    25. Thinking about opening a web store, looking for advice

      I am mulling over starting a side business that would involve selling physical products. I would like to set up a web store for this, but want to keep the amount of web development I have to do to...

      I am mulling over starting a side business that would involve selling physical products. I would like to set up a web store for this, but want to keep the amount of web development I have to do to a minimum. I would also not like to invade my customers' and potential customers' privacy. Can anyone recommend a way to approach this? I'm a software developer, but don't do much web development and don't really want to do development for this project beyond just getting the site up and running. What options exist for setting up a simple web store?

      I've done a search and see things like Shopify. I've heard of them and get the impression they're reputable, but other items in my search seemed kind of scammy. Are there things I should look out for in this space?

      8 votes
    26. Using the menstrual cup and open menstrual discussion

      I'm a female working in the construction field and was wondering how to dispose of my feminine products discreetly and hygienically in a portable potty with a crew full of males where male...

      I'm a female working in the construction field and was wondering how to dispose of my feminine products discreetly and hygienically in a portable potty with a crew full of males where male toxicity exists... 'twas weird.

      I've been meaning to make the jump to the menstrual cup (due to my sustainability inclinations), but due to laziness/squeamish reasons, I didn't make the jump until I realized how practical it was with my profession!

      I'm able to keep it in for a half day before emptying, so it's awesome for the jobsite! I can urinate with it too! which is also awesome... and! NO SMELL! I feel so much cleaner now. and the internal pressure kinda releases some cramps... not all the cramps, but some! And it's totally comfortable to work out in (for reference: I do outdoor running). Not to mention, there's way less waste and cost! (And for those who find bodily fluids cool, the thick, deep, dark red that you see when you empty makes me feel powerful, like you can conquer anything... in reality, I just sit with my Chimmy plush and wait for my significant other to plop chocolate goodies in my lap.)

      The only downside I could find is that it took some time to get used to (about 1 cycle) and I can't hold my pee (I know I'm not suppose to anyway, but it's a nice privilege... these pipes had some major damage).

      Anyway, any cycle stories/tips/tricks? embarrassing moments? origin story?
      I'll go first, my mom was in a ferocious fight with my older sister for spending the night with some guy or whatever. As my mom was ripping my sister's clothes/throwing her out the house, I got my first period. I had to interrupt the fight to ask what I should do... middle child problems! I guess I found a good way to break up a fight...

      35 votes
    27. Is there a service where I can rent a Windows or macOS virtual machine?

      Hi, hope this is the right place for this question. I'd like to learn Autodesk Fusion 360, but all of my devices are running either Ubuntu or ChromeOS. I've tried to get F360 running on my ubuntu...

      Hi, hope this is the right place for this question. I'd like to learn Autodesk Fusion 360, but all of my devices are running either Ubuntu or ChromeOS. I've tried to get F360 running on my ubuntu desktop with both Wine and Lutris but I haven't had success. There is also a web application for F360 but it is feature limited.

      It seems like the only way to get this program running is to use a virtual machine, but I don't have much experience in this area. Do I need to buy a windows license and set up my own VM or is there a service where I can rent time on a preconfigured VM somewhere?

      Thanks for reading, hope to hear your suggestions.

      8 votes
    28. I just became a US citizen today

      I took the Oath to become an American citizen today, after having lived in the U.S. since I was a little girl. I'm glad to have finally done this, but I'm wondering on what to do next. Any and all...

      I took the Oath to become an American citizen today, after having lived in the U.S. since I was a little girl. I'm glad to have finally done this, but I'm wondering on what to do next.

      Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.

      44 votes
    29. Any experiences with AllSides for interpretation of news?

      I recently discovered AllSides and I'm wondering if anyone here has experience with it. If not, surely many people here will be interested in it. Seems like an amazing resource, almost too good to...

      I recently discovered AllSides and I'm wondering if anyone here has experience with it. If not, surely many people here will be interested in it. Seems like an amazing resource, almost too good to be true.

      A while back I tried cutting down all my news feeds to just Wikipedia current events, but that can lack the interpretation/commentary which is useful for understanding. I think this will help, as well as provide a quick and easy resource when you want to validate a headline.

      Their description:

      "AllSides strengthens our democracy with balanced news, diverse perspectives, and real conversation.

      We expose people to information and ideas from all sides of the political spectrum so they can better understand the world — and each other. Our balanced news coverage, media bias ratings, civil dialogue opportunities, and technology platform are available for everyone and can be integrated by schools, nonprofits, media companies, and more."

      4 votes
    30. Best way to subscribe to podcast back-catalogs?

      Every now and then I come across a limited-run podcast that wrapped up ages ago and I want to add it to my feed. I don't want to manually click through the old episodes one by one, I want to...

      Every now and then I come across a limited-run podcast that wrapped up ages ago and I want to add it to my feed. I don't want to manually click through the old episodes one by one, I want to subscribe to it as if it were being published in realtime. Are there any tools that can help me with this?

      I think what I'm looking for is some sort of app that republishes an existing RSS feed with a date offset based on whatever recent date you subscribe to it. Even better would be something that lets me specify my own custom drip rate so I can binge through large catalogs at my own pace.

      I've been thinking about coding something like this but I don't want to reinvent the wheel if an existing solution is already out there.

      10 votes
    31. How to keep my cake from getting crumbly

      The month of May brings my birthday and wedding anniversary, so we usually end up making a cake or two. We don't usually do anything fancy. Usually a store-made cake. But this year with the...

      The month of May brings my birthday and wedding anniversary, so we usually end up making a cake or two. We don't usually do anything fancy. Usually a store-made cake. But this year with the pandemic, we ended up just getting some boxed cakes - Betty Crocker, Duncan Hines. Those sorts of things.

      The problem is that they call for eggs and I'm allergic to egg yolks. (Not egg whites, oddly enough - just egg yolks.) So I've found some egg substitute. It works pretty well considering there's no egg in it. But I've found that when I use it in cakes, sometimes they turn out just fine, and other times they end up falling apart.

      I know that eggs can be used for flavor, as a rising agent, as a binder, etc. but it's not clear to me how to tell which thing it's being used for in a given recipe. So my question is, in the case of a cake, are there other things I could substitute for egg yolks? The stuff I'm using has potato starch, baking powder, and psyllium husks. I guess the baking powder handles the rising aspect and the psyllium husks are probably like a binder? Are there other things I could be using?

      6 votes
    32. Looking for career switching advice from Film/Business to Software Engineering

      I have a few weeks left before I finish my MBA and I turn 26. I decided to spend the free time I have since my cancelled finance internship learning how to program. I enjoy it a lot and could...

      I have a few weeks left before I finish my MBA and I turn 26. I decided to spend the free time I have since my cancelled finance internship learning how to program. I enjoy it a lot and could easily see myself working as a Software Engineer. Prior to my MBA and the finance internships I did, I was a video editor and colorist with a film production bachelors.

      I started with App Academy's Introduction to Ruby I and II courses but I quickly realized that even if a boot camp would work out for me, that specific one would not work out due to geographic location. There is a Hack Reactor branch close to my parents house in Los Angeles, however I feel like if I choose to enroll in a boot camp I should learn as much as I can on my own first; doing it now seems like I would be subjecting myself to financial peril, especially in light of COVID-19.

      I am now taking the edX MIT 6.00.1 Introduction to Computer Science and Programming Using Python course. One of my friends gave me access to a udemy MTA Networking Fundamentals course and I was considering working through that alongside the MIT one. The MIT course only takes around 15 hours per week, so I need more classes/projects to help fill what is ideally a 50 hour work week in order for me to really grasp these concepts. I know at some point I have to begin to build projects, but I do not believe my fundamentals are quite there. If I'm wrong, I would love some pointers as to how to begin.

      If anyone is able, I would really appreciate some guidance in three main areas. First, is my timetable realistic? I have enough overhead and family help to last me to December before I start looking for work OR enroll in a boot camp, the latter of which would require some additional help. I feel that if I diligently study from now until then my family would be willing to help me out a little bit.

      Second, would a boot camp actually be worth it? I realize that a solid portfolio is the #1 thing that will get my foot in the door somewhere but I'm not sure if I would have one that is as fleshed out as I might need by December. Some alumni from my school went through Hack Reactor, but the amount of CS students currently working as SWE far outnumbers the two folks I have found so far that pivoted from Economics and Film Production into SWE. I see the boot camp as serving two purposes: demonstrating that I have what it takes to commit to something and see it through (similar to my two degrees, just for programming) and helping add a few items to my body of work. The financial obligation is a bit concerning, but if I truly was able to find a job at the end of it the ISA would feel worth it.

      Finally, how can my lesson plan be improved? I intend to finish this MITx course over the next six weeks (I'm working through week 2 right now). Is the MTA Networking Fundamentals course a good compliment? Are there other courses that might be better? I own the book Programming Principles and Practice using C++ by Bjarne Stroustrup and have read that it is a solid introduction to both C++ and programming fundamentals, similar to the MITx course. I intend on starting and finishing a Version Control with Git coursera class this coming week. What more could I add, are these the right things to focus on, and is this even a realistic endeavor for me?

      My interests are web development, app development, and data analytics. I feel each of these would be its own path, but if someone could help me narrow this list down to one that best suits my past experience, has complimentary skills, and seems like it would be a good fit it would be much appreciated.

      Any advice helps!

      15 votes
    33. ~personal should be a thing

      I understand we have ~life but I think something more ~personal would be more beneficial, life could pertain to a lot of different things but personal would be far more effective. We could also...

      I understand we have ~life but I think something more ~personal would be more beneficial, life could pertain to a lot of different things but personal would be far more effective.

      We could also have ~personal.blogs for us to submit our personal blog posts that don't really have a place anywhere else.

      Would open and connect the community a lot more, allow for advice, general questions, and more.

      24 votes
    34. How do you get a promotion when you work in a remote office?

      Some years ago, I wrote a book about telecommuting, including a section about the reasons people don't want to be remote workers. High on the list was, "It's too hard to move up in the company"...

      Some years ago, I wrote a book about telecommuting, including a section about the reasons people don't want to be remote workers. High on the list was, "It's too hard to move up in the company" because if you're out of sight, you're out of mind.

      Well, now suddenly nearly everybody is a telecommuter, whether or not they like the idea. So that particular skill is particularly relevant. And I've been assigned an article on "How to 'manage up' when you work from home." I'd like your input.

      My article is meant to compile practical how-to tips for people working from home on “how to stay on your boss's radar.” What advice do you have to share?

      Ideally: Give me a bullet point (“Do XYZ”), why (“It accomplishes this”), and perhaps an anecdote sharing how it made a difference.

      Please don’t expend energy telling me why it’s important, or what the barriers are. Take that as a given. I’m looking for solid “Do this” suggestions.

      17 votes
    35. What are secure alternatives to slack, and what are your experiences with them?

      First, some context. The latest from the US justice department saying that they will be focusing on finding "ANTIFA leaders" is incredibly troubling for anyone involved in leftist groups. I...

      First, some context. The latest from the US justice department saying that they will be focusing on finding "ANTIFA leaders" is incredibly troubling for anyone involved in leftist groups. I foresee a lot of good activists, regardless of how far left they actually are, arrested on trumped up charges in order to squash opposition.

      Organizing is essential to resist fascism. This is made more difficult by the pandemic, as in person meetings bring a huge, almost unacceptable risk. As such, many orgs have been turning to platforms like Slack instead. Trouble is, Slack logs are not encrypted and I am certain that as a business based in the US Slack will not put up a fight to keep user data safe if the feds come calling.

      I'd like to collect a decent list of alternatives. Important factors include encryption, ownership, open source status, ease of use, federation, scalability, hosting, cross platform, and anything else you can think of.

      23 votes
    36. How do you design a Proof of Concept project for a new dev/test tool?

      Input wanted for an article. Let's say that your company is considering the purchase of an expensive new application to help in the company's software development. The demo looks great, and the...

      Input wanted for an article.

      Let's say that your company is considering the purchase of an expensive new application to help in the company's software development. The demo looks great, and the feature list makes it sound perfect for your needs. So your Management arranges for a proof of concept license to find out if the software is worth the hefty investment. The boss comes to you to ask you to be in charge of the PoC project.

      I'm aiming to write an article to help developers, devops, and testers determine if a given vendor's application meets the company's needs. The only assumption I'm making is that the software is expensive; if it's cheap, the easy answer is, "Buy a copy for a small team and see what they think." And I'm thinking in terms of development software rather than enterprise tools (e.g. cloud-based backup) though I suspect many of the practices are similar.

      Aside: Note that this project is beyond "Decide if we need such a thing." In this scenario, everyone agrees that purchasing a tool is a good idea, and they agree on the baseline requirements. The issue is whether this is the right software for the job.

      So, how do you go about it? I'm sure that it's more than "Get a copy and poke at it randomly." How did (or would) you go about designing a PoC project? If you've been involved in such a project in the past (particularly if the purchase wasn't ideal), what advice could someone have given you to help you make a better choice? I want to create a useful guide that applies to any "enterprise-class" purchase.

      For example: Do you recommend that the PoC period be based on time (N months) or workload (N transactions)? How do you decide who should be on the PoC team? What's involved in putting together a comprehensive list of requirements (e.g. integrates with OurFavoredDatabase, meets performance goals of X), creating a test suite that exercises what the software dev product does, and evaluating the results? ...and what am I not thinking of, that I should?

      7 votes
    37. Good, fun, easy and cheap co-op games for a gamecircle

      We're trying to start a Gamecircle (kind of like a Bookcircle) with friends and accuintances and I'm looking for some good Games to start. It is a daunting task to be honest, as there will be some...

      We're trying to start a Gamecircle (kind of like a Bookcircle) with friends and accuintances and I'm looking for some good Games to start. It is a daunting task to be honest, as there will be some first time gamers taking part. And for me as a singleplayer for year (mostly factorio and some round and grand strategy games) I dont even know where to start looking.
      I'm looking for something like mario kart, which is easy to understand and fun for everybody to play, for the first months. Not cost more than 10$, be aviable through steam or gog or itch.io, preferably cross-platform (steam play works fine too).

      On another note, has someboy tried something like this? how did/does it work out? What would be your Advice?

      11 votes
    38. Questions about graphics card failures

      TL;DR: How long should a graphics card last? What can I do to make them last longer? This is perhaps an odd question to ask, but I've been a console gamer for most of my life and have only been...

      TL;DR: How long should a graphics card last? What can I do to make them last longer?

      This is perhaps an odd question to ask, but I've been a console gamer for most of my life and have only been all-in on PC gaming for maybe 1-2 years and I think I may be missing something.

      So there has been about three times when I have spent money on a half-decent graphics card, and each time they have failed me. The first one was a genuine hardware failure, probably a memory failure judging from the artifacting. The second one failed for reasons I have been unable to figure out. It didn't appear to be overheating, but I was getting driver errors that suggested it were; reinstalling from scratch did nothing to fix it.

      The last, most current one is the one that bugs me the most. I'm getting the same problems; driver crashes just like overheating, except this one has better temperature monitoring and I can see that isn't happening.

      I previously thought that the reason why my graphics cards would always crap out on me was because those were cheaper cards from less reputable manufacturers, but this last one is really bugging me because it's relatively high end and from a reputable manufacturer - it's a Gigabyte Radeon RX 5700, complete with the giant AMD reference cooler. I'm getting it RMAed, but since I didn't keep the receipt I am still going to have to pay to fix it even though it should theoretically be under warranty.

      I've done a ton of searching to find out how I can possibly solve this myself, but I am frankly astounded by how little information the drivers give out on Windows. I'm seeing that the device is being reported as unavailable but nothing whatsoever as to why.

      To make matters worse, it seems like this isn't actually common for other people. Most people seem to be replacing their graphics card because they are obsolete, not because they physically fail.

      So basically what I am asking is, how long is a graphics card actually supposed to last for? Do I just have astonishingly bad luck?

      10 votes
    39. What if you don't know if you want a child?

      Sorry for the huge train of thought, but I prefer it raw like this. We are dating for 3.5 years and the subject came up a couple of times. We both didn't want, but it was not set in stone. We just...

      Sorry for the huge train of thought, but I prefer it raw like this.

      We are dating for 3.5 years and the subject came up a couple of times. We both didn't want, but it was not set in stone. We just didn't want at that time.

      Three days ago she said she want one in the future. I don't, but I'm not sure.

      I asked jokingly if this is where we have to let each other go.

      What now?

      I have three nieces and I know the hard work and problems my two brothers are dealing with (two are teenagers).

      I don't want that, but at the same time i look at my youngest niece and she is so amazing.

      I can't figure out if i want this or not.

      I don't think we should have kids because she is obese and dealing with food and anxiety issues, and I deal with anxiety and alcohol issues.

      I would teach them a good relationship with food. I'm active, eat clean, i'm slim, fit, lift weights, but have the problem with alcohol which i try to manage, but not at all. I drink too much at least once every one or two weeks.

      My SO eats junk food, soda, sugar, everything. She is obese now. She wasn't when we started dating. Overweight, but not obese.
      She is now at risk of diabetes. I hate it and i'm resenting this to the point I lost attraction.

      It got to the point were i feel ashamed when I see her family eating a lot, which is all they do. Her brother was ok, now he is obese. His girlfriend turned obese.

      I know people say you need to break up because we are incompatible, but it doesn't work like this. We are good together in every other aspect. We treat each other with respect, we have hobbies in common, we are a good couple on the surface.

      If I break up, what reason I could give? It's not a matter of just telling "we are incompatible" after almost 4 years.

      I have no health issues when i checked with the doctor last year.

      We both made promises of solving these issues, but it's not happening.

      If we have a child, who teaches him about food, what to eat or not? What should we buy? And about alcohol?

      Gym and fitness. I adore. She does not. What example should we give to our kid?

      Alcohol. I drink a lot. She drinks, but only enough.

      How does this work?

      This is eating me alive...

      Edit: we don't live together and have jobs at different cities. In this pandemic we are at our homes, which is the same city, but once this pass we will live apart until one of us can transfer to live together.

      18 votes
    40. How do I know how to properly tag my posts?

      Say I wanted to create a thread about running. Running is a sport and hobby. Sports is often seen more as the professional side of things (say, Olympic running). Then again, many runners take...

      Say I wanted to create a thread about running. Running is a sport and hobby. Sports is often seen more as the professional side of things (say, Olympic running). Then again, many runners take their hobby quite seriously and definitely exercise it as a sport. How do I know which one of those two groups is the more appropriate?

      8 votes
    41. How to be a good contributor to Tildes?

      Recently, I have blocked both reddit and facebook on my computer and devices in order to combat the utter fatigue that engagement with those sites produces. I've always really enjoyed the...

      Recently, I have blocked both reddit and facebook on my computer and devices in order to combat the utter fatigue that engagement with those sites produces. I've always really enjoyed the atmosphere here at Tildes better than either site and have hoped (though I gather this is not currently the goal) that it would supplant reddit in the future.

      In order to get my news/discussion fix, I've begun submitting more content here than I have before. In the mornings, I go through my RSS feed, and pick out articles that I feel are interesting/would spark discussion here. I also try to conduct myself better here than I might on reddit, where JAQing off and bad faith argumentation are much more common.

      I don't want to flood Tildes with too much content, so I'm trying to submit fewer than 10 articles per day. What are some other tips for good etiquette here, particularly insofar as it differs from reddit? I know there is an FAQ about Tildes but I'd like to hear what the community thinks, too.

      Best,
      -gbbb

      25 votes
    42. A review of Andrew Lloyd Webber's 'By Jeeves'

      I watched the streamed version of 'By Jeeves' today. I have thoughts that I want to express. There’s a saying in show business: “If you have a good strong finish, they'll forgive anything.” (Well,...

      I watched the streamed version of 'By Jeeves' today. I have thoughts that I want to express.


      There’s a saying in show business: “If you have a good strong finish, they'll forgive anything.” (Well, maybe it’s only Rose in ‘Gypsy’ who says that, but it has wider applications.) This show was the opposite of that. I was going along with the badness of the adaptation, the absurdity of the plot, the silliness of the narrative framework, and the falseness of the characters – and then the ending came along and trumped everything else with its awfulness.

      For starters, the narrative framework was silly. Bertie Wooster is due to give a banjo recital at a local hall, but the banjo goes missing, so his valet Jeeves convinces Bertie to entertain the audience with a reminiscence. But rather than commit wholeheartedly to the story, Bertie and Jeeves keep popping out of it with references to bad props and lighting and music. At the times when the plot went along as normal, it was quite an enjoyable play, for what it was. Then Jeeves would appear with a car built from a sofa and some cardboard boxes, or a ladder going to nowhere, or a pig mask (more about that later), and destroy the mood. I wish the writer Alan Ayckbourn had committed to the plot, rather than framing it in this way. It felt silly. It set the wrong tone. P.G. Wodehouse’s Jeeves and Wooster stories are comedies of manners, not farces (although they often contain farcical elements). The comedy is subtle, not broad.

      On the matter of tone, I noticed a distinct lack of the 30s slang which gave the original stories their flavour. Bertie spoke generic upper-class English in this play, rather than the lingo of his time and his culture.

      With regard to the story, I’m not sure where this plot came from. I don’t pretend to have read all the Jeeves and Wooster stories, but I do have the book that the setting for this play comes from: ‘The Code of the Woosters’. The backdrop of Totleigh Towers and most of the characters in the play come from this novel. But the plot is nothing like the book. It has elements that are reminiscent of Wodehouse’s stories, such as characters pretending to be each other (which was too over-the-top in this play), and Bertie having to steal something to create a diversion, but the plot itself is an invention of Ayckbourn’s (I assume).

      The scene near the end of the play with the whole household running around chasing a man in a pig mask, while singing about hunting and implying that they think it’s a real pig, was jarring. The pig mask came from the framing narrative, where Bertie’s trying to give a banjo recital but has to tell a story instead. Jeeves is stage-managing the story-telling, and produces a pig mask that he found in the back of the theatre for Bertie to wear when he acts out breaking into Totleigh Towers and pretending to steal a bag of swag because… who cares. He wears the mask as a prop to tell the story. But, in the story that Bertie is telling, the other people see a man wearing a pig mask, and start talking about a chauvinist pig, a real pig, and hunting wild boar. If the pig mask came from the theatre, then it wasn’t used in the original fake burglary, so the people wouldn’t have seen a man wearing a mask, so they wouldn’t have been singing “It’s a Pig!”

      I get the feeling that Alan Ayckbourn didn’t really understand the source material, and wrote his own play, using some names from the original stories.

      As evidence of this, Bertie Wooster himself was wrong. He was far too competent and intelligent. Situations kept happening to him, rather than being caused by him. He’s not supposed to be a sensible man surrounded by useless people; he’s supposed to be one of those useless people, but lacking the self-awareness to see himself as such. He’s supposed to be just as useless as his friends Gussie Fink-Nottle and Bingo Little. But he didn’t feel like that in this play. (I also wonder if the actor playing him wasn’t a bit too old for the role. Bertie seems like a man in his mid-20s to early 30s, whereas the actor seemed about a decade older than this.) I may be influenced by the fact that I’ve recently started re-watching the ‘Jeeves and Wooster’ television series: I think Hugh Laurie [actor] and Clive Exton [writer] had a great take on the character of Bertie, while this play missed it entirely.

      Other wrong moments in the play include the song “Half a Moment” which was far too romantic and sincere for this play, and the song “It’s a Pig!” which added a tone of absurdity (as mentioned before). And the song “What Have You Got To Say, Jeeves” was totally misjudged. Bertie turns on Jeeves, and accuses him of incompetence. That’s out of character for Bertie; he always knew that Jeeves was the smart one.

      Ah, Jeeves. Poor Jeeves. He might be the title character in this play, but it doesn’t do him justice.

      For one thing, where are his sartorial judgements? A running joke in the stories is that Bertie wants to wear a particular item of clothing, Jeeves advises against it, and Bertie wears it anyway. After the action is over, and Jeeves saves the day, Bertie stops wearing the item. It’s an indirect way of him acknowledging Jeeves’ intelligence and apologising to Jeeves for not paying attention to his advice. That never got a mention in this play.

      Then we get to the ending. The denouement was wrong. So very very wrong.

      In the stories, Jeeves is subtle, even Machiavellian, in his manoeuvres. He solves problems by manipulating things and people quietly behind the scenes. He gets a letter delivered to the wrong person. He distracts someone with a new romantic interest. He plays on people’s character weaknesses. In this play, he spins a prop fountain to move Cyrus Budge into Bertie’s position. Not only does he break the fourth wall to implement his solution (in the story that Bertie is acting out, the fountain would have been real and not able to be spun), but that solution is very uncharacteristic of Jeeves.

      And that’s just the beginning of the bad ending. Suddenly, all three sets of star-crossed lovers couple up, without any resolution. They just... get together. They literally run across stage into each others' arms.

      And then… and then…

      … the replacement banjo arrives and the play goes totally off the rails.

      I have a feeling that Ayckbourn and Lloyd Webber thought they were creating the proverbial good strong finish, after which audiences would forgive them for butchering the Jeeves and Wooster stories. Instead, they were jumping up and down on the corpse of those stories.

      Jeeves gives Bertie a silent banjo and tricks him into thinking it’s playing music that everyone else can hear. Then Jeeves suggests a full chorus accompany Bertie – at which point the entire cast comes on stage wearing costumes from 'The Wizard of Oz'!

      This is just further evidence that Alan Ayckbourn and Andrew Lloyd Webber never really understood the nature of the material they were adapting. They put cheap laughs into a play that’s supposed to be a subtle satire on the wastrel upper class of the 1930s. Like I said before, the Jeeves and Wooster stories are a comedy of manners, rather than an open comedy. They’re subtle comedy, rather than broad comedy. You don’t laugh at a Wodehouse story, you smirk knowingly - or, at most, you chuckle quietly. And I don’t think the writers got that at all. They wrote this play to get laughs, rather than smirks.

      Also, the use of ‘The Wizard of Oz’ is anachronistic. The Jeeves and Wooster stories are set firmly in the milieu of the 1920s and 1930s. In the framing narrative, everyone in the hall listening to Bertie is dressed in the fashions of the 1930s. However, the ‘Wizard of Oz’ movie wasn’t released until 1939. Yes, the books were published 30-40 years earlier, but the costumes used in this play are from the movie versions of the Oz characters. As the most obvious example, one person comes out dressed as the Wicked Witch of the West, complete with green make-up on her face, but the Wicked Witch did not have green skin in the orginal book: that only came from the movie.

      The ending is a shambolic climax to a play that didn’t know where it was going to begin with.

      Two minor notes to finish up with:

      • Someone needed to tell the actor playing Cyrus Budge how to pronounce his dialogue. It’s “stomach UPset”, not “stomach upSET” (that is, “upset” used as a noun, not an adjective). And “incandescence” might originally have been a French word, but it’s not pronounced in the French style.

      • It was a joy to see the actor who plays Paula in ‘Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’ as Honoria Glossop in this. She managed to upstage Bertie in the one scene she had with him, and it was a delight to watch.

      6 votes