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    1. Looking for a wired gaming headset (preferably with mic) that works for many ear piercings

      I game a lot, and I have many ear piercings (the troublesome ones are industrial and cartilage and for ear buds, both tragus, but I'm looking for just normal headsets). Most headsets make my ears...

      I game a lot, and I have many ear piercings (the troublesome ones are industrial and cartilage and for ear buds, both tragus, but I'm looking for just normal headsets). Most headsets make my ears ache after 20-45 minutes. I can almost pick out how much they're going to hurt when I try them on, and nothing at my local Best Buy has anything available that feels right. Additionally, many are heavy and sit on the top of my head like a brick - before I completed my ear decorations, that was usually my peeve.

      Currently, the only headset I adore is SteelSeries Siberia (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002SN9RN8). I can wear them for hours. Sadly, I cannot get a replacement. I tried their Arctis 5 and immediately sent it back. The Siberia does not have a mic, so that's basically the only reason I am wanting to get another set.

      If anyone can recommend something with the following characteristics, I'd be willing to drop a pretty penny on them... not that I can afford to, but it'll be an investment if it lasts as long as these Siberia have!

      • Preferably cloth ear surface texture;
      • Preferably something that doesn't sit heavily on the head - though the ones I've tried that clamped for staying on my ears would give me headaches as well;
      • Must be wired. No bluetooth. Caveat: if it has a usb dongle, could be doable. (My computer does not have BT capabilities.) I hate things running out of battery though, so it will have to be good;
      • Must have extendable head band up top, if its method is not gripping on your ears without head support;

      I'm sure I've missed something, but if there's a fellow ear-pierced gamer whose had issues with many headsets but found the perfect one, please recommend! Thanks!

      10 votes
    2. Seeking advice and resources for keeping chickens

      I'm sad to admit it, but several members of my household have a crippling egg addiction and all our local suppliers are getting pretty stingy with prices. So we're breaking into the supply chain...

      I'm sad to admit it, but several members of my household have a crippling egg addiction and all our local suppliers are getting pretty stingy with prices. So we're breaking into the supply chain and getting the good stuff right at the source

      But seriously, looking to get some chickens soon and it's been difficult finding spesific details. Most of the resources I see either paint chickens as exceptionally easy and self sufficient, or details extremely technical info for business farmers. Just based on the info I can put together, I'm building a small coop (2.5m^2) and fencing a run that can extend out to about 10m^2. Think it should be enough for 5 or 6 birds and I'll line the house out with plenty of straw and make a little nesting nook. I'll need to let them out in the morning, feed them grain and kitchen scraps, close them up at night and keep a temporary pen for broody hens.

      Is that it? Do I have to get spesific breeds or types? Will it be better to raise them from young or just get fully grown? Temps range from -5C to 32C trough the year so do they need insulation or cooling? Are the eggs just safe to eat straight out the chicken? What are the best chicken pun names?

      Most importantly, are they good to keep around kids? My toddler has a very... enthusiastic love for animals but I know birds will not put up with her the way the cats or dog do. And is there any hygiene or parasite risks I need to be aware of?

      Would really appreciate any advice or anecdotes people have to share about these animals.

      35 votes
    3. Let's share some obscure forgotten tunes (<20K plays/views)

      I'm looking for weird or obscure music that few folks have given a listen. To keep things interesting, I'll try and post stuff I've stumbled upon and liked rather than cruising newly uploaded...

      I'm looking for weird or obscure music that few folks have given a listen. To keep things interesting, I'll try and post stuff I've stumbled upon and liked rather than cruising newly uploaded stuff. The 20K plays limit is a soft limit and is not cumulative, so just check the numbers one platform like Spotify, YouTube Music or whatever. If it's obscure on one platform, it's probably, though not necessarily, obscure elsewhere too. I'll just be using YT Music numbers.

      • Depois do Escuro - Kalouv at 377 views. Brazilian post-rock band. Not well known at least in my music circles. This song just slaps hard. It deserves more attention.

      • The Search - Dougie MacLean at 8.9K views. Scottish folk artist. Some of his stuff is much better known: one of his tracks for the inspiration for the Last of the Mohicans theme). This whole album was made the Loch Ness Monster Exhibition and is much better than it has any right to be for a tourist attraction.

      • Sólin Mun Skína - Rökkurró at 9.3K views. Icelandic pop and rock band. I like the lead vocal artist a lot. Edit: Their VEVO channel puts this one at 41K views, so it breaks my rules a bit. Oh well.

      • Modulus - Marcus Fjellström at 733 views. Swedish composer and artist who did mostly moody and surreal dreamscapes and ambient music. Sadly he passed away in 2017 after composing the score for the tv show The Terror (one of the few excellent survival horror shows). Not really "easy listening" but I'm really impressed with his work and wanted to share it.

      • Misery Needs Company - Lovedrug at 2.1K views. Indie/alt band. Great song. Simple as that.

      • The Lunar Effect - Kebu at 19K views. Kebu, a Finnish keyboardist and composer, does lots of old-school synth and electronic work like you'd find in the tradition of Jean Michel Jarre. Edit: The live performance of this song has like 300K views... so I really shouldn't include it here.

      • Summoning Lesser Demons - Ivar Tryti at 10.1K views. Ivar is a regular on the synthesizer discord which is how I found his stuff. He's a wizard with Elektron synths/samplers and gear so I keep up with his releases.

      If you're having trouble finding stuff <20K (I know I did when searching my history!) then increase the threshold to say 100K. If anybody has a good way to find rarer stuff, ideas are welcome. :)

      39 votes
    4. How do I migrate almost twenty years of email off of Gmail?

      I have followed numerous discussions on here lately regarding extracting oneself from being Google-reliant, and they've all deeply resonated with me. For years now I've been slowly migrating...

      I have followed numerous discussions on here lately regarding extracting oneself from being Google-reliant, and they've all deeply resonated with me. For years now I've been slowly migrating numerous Google-bound things over to my own self-hosted alternatives. I've moved my storage, contacts, documents, and some (but sadly not all) of my calendars to home solutions, fairly easily too.

      But the biggest hurdle I've been facing this whole time, the one I've been putting off the longest, is the act of figuring out how to get almost twenty years of mail archive and history on my primary account away from Google and into a space where I can access it separately. I have been steadily changing the main email on my more active external accounts to a self-hosted one, and now only seeing a shrinking handful of lesser-used services still attached to the old gmail. But that history is too precious to me, and I still find multiple occasions where I need/want to reference some communications from long ago.

      I've tried searching the web for options, but so far all combinations of my queries are either really elementary "here's how to set up a new email" crap, or else aimed at moving from one Gmail account to another Gmail account. I've been thinking that the simplest approach might be just to set it up as a POP3 account in my mail client (eM Client, for the record), download it all, and then when I finally pull the plug just drag it into the local client archive, and then remove the account from the app. But I figure there have to be others who have done this, right?

      74 votes
    5. What do you look for in cooking related YouTube content?

      (I'm not looking for simple lists of YouTube channels that you like.) even though I'm about to dump a list of channels that I like There's a lot of YouTube cooking content. I was wondering what...

      (I'm not looking for simple lists of YouTube channels that you like.) even though I'm about to dump a list of channels that I like

      There's a lot of YouTube cooking content. I was wondering what you look for in that content, and what you want to avoid?

      I don't have a particularly coherent answer - I like a mix of content.

      I do like plain and simple information, or informative content that gives details about technique or science or why a thing is done the way it is. Examples of this would be America's Test Kitchen, or J. Kenji López-Alt or Helen Rennie, or French Cooking Academy.

      I also like recipes that I can actually make. I prefer recipes that don't have a massive array of ingredients that I don't have. Examples are Brian Lagerstrom (I like the way he tends to use a limited amount of equipment and he gives alternatives for ingredients if he thinks some thing is going to be hard to get) Not another cooking show has some nice recipes (his grilled cheese and tomato soup is fantastic).

      Some channels I watch have Michelin Starred chefs discussing a recipe. I like watching this because I can't replicate most of it, but I can get ideas for improving taste or texture. Italia Squisita has a lot of content, and some of their videos are comparing a traditional Italian recipe (and these are excellent) with an elevated restaurant version. The staff canteen is a bit frustrating - it's almost exactly what I want, but it ends up missing the mark a bit. But they talk to chefs, mostly in the UK, about being a chef or about a dish. La pâte de Dom is self-taught, but they have a high level of skill in pastry.

      And here's a list of videos that I can't categorise, and why I like them.

      The Biryani Expert (sadly, channel appears not to be making content any more) taught me that biryani covers a quite wide range of different dishes.

      Sheldo's Kitchen He seems like a nice bloke, and his food looks really nice and achievable to make. Again, sadly, he doesn't seem to have made any videos for a while, and he was saying that he has a lot on. But he has a calm style and I liked his content.

      Cool Daddy, YummyBoy and Street Foods TV expose me to a lot of food that I'm not used to. I can't recreate a lot of it (I don't have a camel I can cut up and cook but it gives me ideas for new ways to combine ingredients or new flavour profiles to try.

      So, what do you look for in content?

      (In this thread I avoided dunking on creators, because there's a few that I really don't enjoy but I don't think me yelling about them is good discussion. But I'd totally join in if someone created another thread.

      18 votes
    6. Introducing Surfboard for Tildes

      Hello, Tildes Allow me to introduce myself. I came over to Tildes fairly recently after Twitterriffic died and Apollo announced it would shut down. As a relative youngster, I tend to mostly browse...

      Hello, Tildes

      Allow me to introduce myself.

      I came over to Tildes fairly recently after Twitterriffic died and Apollo announced it would shut down.

      As a relative youngster, I tend to mostly browse on mobile.

      While I do appreciate Tildes' philosophy of having a simple website that works well on desktop and mobile, I've always preferred mobile apps. I'm a strong believer that a well-built native application will always provide a richer experience than a website.

      But enough talking.. showing is way more fun - here's a lil' something I've been messing around with:

      Introducing Surfboard for Tildes

      The goal is simple: to be the best way to interact with Tildes on mobile.


      Features

      Surfboard is still extremely early, and is missing many features.

      With that said, here is what it currently supports:

      • Login to Tildes (supports 2FA)
      • Browse topics
      • Filters & sorting
      • Browse comments
      • Advanced rendering is still in early stages..
      • Supports comment collapsing behavior from the web version
      • Reply/vote/bookmark/ignore on topics, comments, & notifications (requires login)
      • Search topics
      • Global search
      • Search within groups
      • Option for in-line images
      • Clean browsing interface
      • In-line markdown preview when composing replies
      • Share topics & comments
      • Notifications
      • View read & unread notifications
      • Reply, vote, bookmark, mark as read...
      • Customizable
      • Toggle settings, set custom gesture actions, etc.
      • Free, as in beer

      The design draws some inspiration from Apollo for Reddit, an app that I loved & am very sad will be discontinued.


      Try it yourself

      I would love to get some feedback from other Tildes users on the app. If you are interested in trying it for yourself, you can get it here via TestFlight

      Surfboard is built for iPhone, and requires iOS 16.0 or higher.

      Inside the app is a 'roadmap' of sorts which is basically a list of things I know are missing, but if there's something you want that isn't listed there, I'm all ears.

      Formatting is a little rough at the moment, although I made enormous improvements on the parsing & rendering there over the last day.

      It should support just about anything you throw at it other than a <details>

      (I'll get around to them, I swear..)

      If you run into issues viewing a post/comment, you can easily open them in an in-app safari window from the menu.


      As mentioned above, it's very early, but it's already becoming my favorite way to browse Tildes. I hope that others will enjoy it as well. Consider it my gift to the Tildes community.

      Cheers !


      Edit:

      The best way to submit feature requests & bug reports is to add it to the issue tracker and/or leave a comment on this thread and I’ll get around to adding it myself.

      Thanks !

      278 votes
    7. A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland

      Preface: I usually post my book reviews on /r/Fantasy. With reddit's future being uncertain right now I figured I'd experiment with posting on here, let me know if you're interested in future...

      Preface: I usually post my book reviews on /r/Fantasy. With reddit's future being uncertain right now I figured I'd experiment with posting on here, let me know if you're interested in future reviews. I should add that this probably isn't my most interesting book review ever, it just happens to be my latest read.
      Please feel free to let me know if you'd like to see more fantasy book reviews in the future, I am new to Tildes.

      Recommended if you like: ottoman empire inspired setting, royalty/bodyguard romance, MC with anxiety, queernorm setting, low-magic setting, m/m romance, homoerotically washing each others' hair, royal palace slice of life, fake-dating (sort of), gay yearning


      Blurb

      Kadou, the shy prince of Arasht, finds himself at odds with one of the most powerful ambassadors at court—the body-father of the queen's new child—in an altercation which results in his humiliation.

      To prove his loyalty to the queen, his sister, Kadou takes responsibility for the investigation of a break-in at one of their guilds, with the help of his newly appointed bodyguard, the coldly handsome Evemer, who seems to tolerate him at best. In Arasht, where princes can touch-taste precious metals with their fingers and myth runs side by side with history, counterfeiting is heresy, and the conspiracy they discover could cripple the kingdom’s financial standing and bring about its ruin.


      Review

      • This book starts out by throwing you in the middle of a handful of political machinations already underway - the inciting incidents have basically already happened off-screen beforehand. That is fine, but don't expect massive developments on these plots or new plot points to really matter. The book basically goes "this is the political background for this story" and then takes its time for the rest of the book to focus on the romance.
      • I should find this book too fluffy and romancey for my taste but I couldn't help but loving it. Some of it is really dumb, it's transparently obvious that the narrative only exists to facilitate a lot of gay yearning, but I also found myself very much enjoying all that gay yearning.
      • I feel like I logically shouldn't have enjoyed this so much, because the worldbuilding is negligible, the magic (touch-tasting, i.e. sensing the origins or compositions of metals) is an afterthought for most of the time, and the plot constantly takes breaks for everyone to talk about their feelings a lot. But somehow, I was totally here for all that and was sad when it was over.
      • There were various aspects I found a bit grating, from some very obviously contrived setups to make the two leads have to get closer (or make drastic choices that bind them together) to some of the side characters sounding rather anachronistically sassy, to just how often the plot takes a break for people to talk about their feelings. I can list a ton of things this book does "wrong", but none of them actually managed to tip the scale away from me being into it, don't ask me why. Maybe I was just in the right mood for it.
      • The setting is very queernormative and progressive in other ways, while maintaining a historical veneer in terms of technology and (for the most part) style. The use of neopronouns for some side characters caught me a bit off guard in the audio narration, but it's done with such a complete nonchalance that I assume many queer readers will find refreshing.
      • The main character has anxiety and panic attacks (without quite having the language to articulate what he suffers from, and equating it with cowardice), and I thought that topic was treated pretty well. Then again, everyone that matters is super supportive and understanding the whole time, so it doesn't really serve as a source of conflict for longer.
      • I've said that action often takes a backseat to the romance, but I found the action that was there pretty good.

      Discussion

      This contains significant spoilers, read at your own risk
      • I went from writing "No COME ON you are not seriously getting fake married now right 😂" to "ok that they now can’t fuck because it‘d consummate the marriage and take the option of annulment from them is delicious and hilarious" into my review notes within minutes. That development and the ensuing conflicted tention was fun.
      • For the longest time, I thought Lt. Armidan (sp?) who had the counterfeit coins in their (jer?) office was the same character as Melek (sp?) the guard/Kahia (sorry if I am butchering the spelling of everything, I listened to the audiobook), and was confused why they'd trust that person again.
      • I wrote down a dozen things that I found annoying or dumb but just as many things that I found adorable, hilarious, wonderfully fitting or hot.

      In conclusion: I really liked this, but I completely understand anyone who didn't. The only previous Rowland book I'd read is A Conspiracy of Truths (link to my review), where I had the opposite experience: I found it well crafted but didn't enjoy it all that much. This one just happened to vibe more with me.

      9 votes
    8. What are you currently reading?

      What are you reading and what's next on your list? Are you enjoying it or just trying to get to the next book you want to read? I'm almost finished with Columbine by Dave Cullen. It's an in depth...

      What are you reading and what's next on your list? Are you enjoying it or just trying to get to the next book you want to read?

      I'm almost finished with Columbine by Dave Cullen. It's an in depth look into what led up to the massacre, the aftermath, and how it could have been avoided. It's a well written book and sadly still very relevant today. I would recommend it to any true crime enthusiast.

      Next up is either Mindhunter by John Douglas & Mark Olshaker or Children of Dune by Frank Herbert. I've been in a true crime phase for the last year, but I'm also trying to finish the entire (original) Dune series.

      57 votes
    9. 2024 mid-year Guild predictions

      For those of you who are new I usually post awards predictions from time to time. Some people seem to like it, at least when it was just a handful of active users. Anyways these are predictions I...

      For those of you who are new I usually post awards predictions from time to time. Some people seem to like it, at least when it was just a handful of active users.

      Anyways these are predictions I currently have for “the guilds” meaning industry awards that are not the Oscar’s. Segmented by different unions. They usually are more populist than the Academy, due to many members being from the TV and commercial world. Whenever there’s an artsy contender that they avoid, the Academy nominates it anyway (Drive My Car, Triangle of Sadness, Phantom Thread being some recent examples that come to mind).

      Producers Guild of America Awards (PGA):

      1. The Holdovers
      2. Killers of the Flower Moon
      3. Oppenheimer
      4. Dune: Part Two
      5. Barbie
      6. Past Lives
      7. The Zone of Interest
      8. The Killer
      9. Saltburn
      10. Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning - Part 1

      Directors Guild of America Awards (DGA):

      1. Martin Scorsese - Killers of the Flower Moon
      2. Christopher Nolan - Oppenheimer
      3. Alexander Payne - The Holdovers
      4. Denis Villenueve - Dune: Part Two
      5. Greta Gerwig - Barbie

      Writers Guild of America Awards (WGA):

      Original:

      1. The Holdovers
      2. Past Lives
      3. Saltburn
      4. May/December
      5. Air

      Adapted:

      1. Barbie
      2. Killers of the Flower Moon
      3. Oppenheimer
      4. Dune: Part Two
      5. The Killer

      Screen Actor’s Guild Awards (SAG):

      Ensemble:

      1. The Holdovers
      2. Barbie
      3. Killers of the Flower Moon
      4. Oppenheimer
      5. The Color Purple

      Lead Actor:

      1. Paul Giamatti - The Holdovers
      2. Cillian Murphy - Oppenheimer
      3. Leonardo DiCaprio - Killers of the Flower Moon
      4. Colman Domingo - Rustin
      5. Barry Keoghan - Saltburn

      Lead Actress:

      1. Margot Robbie - Barbie
      2. Greta Lee - Past Lives
      3. Natalie Portman - May/December
      4. Zendaya - Challengers
      5. Fantasia Barrino - The Color Purple

      Supporting Actor:

      1. Robert Downey Jr. - Oppenheimer
      2. Ryan Gosling - Barbie
      3. Robert DeNiro - Killers of the Flower Moon
      4. John Magaro - Past Lives
      5. Dominic Sessa - The Holdovers

      Supporting Actress:

      1. D’avine Joy Randolph - The Holdovers
      2. Lilly Gladstone - Killers of the Flower Moon
      3. Emily Blunt - Oppenheimer
      4. Julianne Moore - May/December
      5. Taraji P. Henson - The Color Purple

      American Cinema Editors Awards (ACE):

      Comedic Editing:

      1. Barbie
      2. The Holdovers
      3. Next Goal Wins
      4. Poor Things
      5. No Hard Feelings

      Dramatic Editing:

      1. Dune: Part Two
      2. Killers of the Flower Moon
      3. Oppenheimer
      4. Past Lives
      5. The Killer
      2 votes
    10. Film and feelings: Stalker (1979)

      I recently acquired the criterion release of Stalker (1979), a film I have not seen since I was a teenager. I remember liking it back then, but I didn't appreciate how much it would simultaneously...

      I recently acquired the criterion release of Stalker (1979), a film I have not seen since I was a teenager. I remember liking it back then, but I didn't appreciate how much it would simultaneously wash over me as well as work it's way into the back of my mind, like an eel of a tone poem.

      For those who have not seen Stalker, it is a journey of three men into a mysterious and beautiful "Zone" in search of their deepest desires.
      I full throatedly recommend. Gorgeous film.

      While the symbolism has been thoroughly discussed elsewhere on the internet, a less talked about aspect (of this and other films) is how it makes the viewer feel.

      For me personally, the three moments that most affected me on a visceral level all involve people lying down.
      Why, I'm not sure.
      But they are: The scene where The Stalker lays in the tall grass, I felt such a calm bliss as he soaked in the lush green nature of The Zone;
      The scene where The Stalker sleeps on a tiny dry piece of ground in a large flooded canal, I felt a sense of sublime misery. The only thing I could compare it to is when you get suddenly awoken when you haven't had enough sleep, and have to go out into the cold early morning still nodding off, and nothing feels real;
      and third is the lingering shot of the dog sitting guard over the entwined bodies near The Room.
      I felt a profound longing sadness. I imagined that the entwined lovers died together in some relation to their deepest desire.

      I really love films that wash over the viewer in this way like a tide, and I hope that some of you do as well.

      Another film that has a similar aspect is Upstream Color (2013), and while the creative mind behind that film is....perhaps a mentally unwell abuser, I can't dismiss the art he has created. I guess my relationship with his work is complicated.

      How do you Feel about stalker?

      Are there any films that had a similar effect on you as this one did to me?

      Always looking for recommendations!

      19 votes
    11. i.reddit.com (aka .compact) appears to be gone

      As an old, I prefer the old reddit. Which, lets be honest, has been going away for a while. But so long as I could browse on my phone via i.reddit.com, I was happily entertained by time there. No...

      As an old, I prefer the old reddit. Which, lets be honest, has been going away for a while.

      But so long as I could browse on my phone via i.reddit.com, I was happily entertained by time there.

      No longer. And I'm saddened by it. It was an imperfect community, but its good parts are replicated nowhere else as far as I can tell, Tildes notwithstanding. Although, if Tildes were maybe 2-3x as busy and had more para-reality* fans, it'd be really darn close. I am still sad, and sad that we can't keep awesome things that generate a lot of community benefit but low income (see also, usenet). Probably, it's a good dead cow.**

      *As a true believer (tm), I hesitate to use the word conspiracy, because it has gained so many negative associations with far right absurdity and violence. Among the more serious members of the community, we have yet to come up with an easy to use term. Another thing in the world I am sad about. For the record, I don't believe the election was stolen, but I also don't believe Kennedy was assassinated by Oswald, or at least not him alone.

      **if anyone is interested, I relay the story of the Wise Man, the Poor Family, and Their Cow.

      23 votes
    12. Final 2023 Oscar predictions

      pending Picture The Banshees of Inisherin Everything Everywhere All At Once TÁR The Fabelmans Top Gun: Maverick Elvis Avatar: The Way of Water The Whale All Quiet on the Western Front Triangle of...

      pending

      Picture

      1. The Banshees of Inisherin
      2. Everything Everywhere All At Once
      3. TÁR
      4. The Fabelmans
      5. Top Gun: Maverick
      6. Elvis
      7. Avatar: The Way of Water
      8. The Whale
      9. All Quiet on the Western Front
      10. Triangle of Sadness

      Director

      1. Steven Spielberg - The Fabelmans
      2. Daniels - Everything Everywhere All At Once
      3. Martin McDonagh - The Banshees of Inisherin
      4. Todd Field - TÁR
      5. Edward Berger - All Quiet on the Western Front

      Original Screenplay

      1. The Banshees of Inisherin
      2. Everything Everywhere All At Once
      3. TÁR
      4. The Fabelmans
      5. Triangle of Sadness

      Adapted Screenplay

      1. All Quiet on the Western Front
      2. The Whale
      3. Living
      4. Glass Onion
      5. Women Talking

      Lead Actor

      1. Colin Farrell - The Banshees of Inisherin
      2. Brendan Fraser - The Whale
      3. Austin Butler - Elvis
      4. Bill Nighy - Living
      5. Hugh Jackman - The Son

      Lead Actress

      1. Cate Blanchett - TÁR
      2. Michelle Yeoh - Everything Everywhere All At Once
      3. Ana De Armas - Blonde
      4. Danielle Deadwyler - Till
      5. Michelle Williams - The Fabelmans

      Best Supporting Actor

      1. Kerry Condon - The Banshees of Inisherin
      2. Angela Bassett - Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
      3. Jamie Lee Curtis - Everything Everywhere All At Once
      4. Hong Chau - The Whale
      5. Dolly De Leon - Triangle of Sadness

      Best Supporting Actor

      1. Ke Huy Quan - Everything Everywhere All At Once
      2. Brendan Gleeson - The Banshees of Inisherin
      3. Barry Keoghan - The Banshees of Inisherin
      4. Paul Dano - The Fabelmans
      5. Eddie Redmayne - The Good Nurse

      Cinematography

      1. Top Gun: Maverick
      2. The Batman
      3. Empire of Light
      4. Elvis
      5. All Quiet on the Western Front

      Costume Design

      1. Elvis
      2. Babylon
      3. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
      4. Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris
      5. The Fabelmans

      Film Editing

      1. Top Gun: Maverick
      2. Everything Everywhere All At Once
      3. Elvis
      4. The Banshees of Inisherin
      5. TÁR

      Makeup and Hairstyling

      1. The Whale
      2. Elvis
      3. Babylon
      4. The Batman
      5. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

      Production Design

      1. Babylon
      2. Avatar: The Way of Water
      3. The Fabelmans
      4. Elvis
      5. All Quiet on the Western Front

      Original Score

      1. Babylon
      2. The Banshees of Inisherin
      3. The Fabelmans
      4. Pinocchio
      5. All Quiet on the Western Front

      Original Song

      1. Naatu Naatu - RRR
      2. Hold My Hand - Top Gun: Maverick
      3. Ciao Papa - Pinocchio
      4. Applause - Tell it Like a Woman
      5. This is a Life - Everything Everywhere All At Once

      Sound

      1. Top Gun: Maverick
      2. Avatar: The Way of Water
      3. Elvis
      4. The Batman
      5. All Quiet on the Western Front

      VFX

      1. Avatar: The Way of Water
      2. Top Gun: Maverick
      3. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
      4. The Batman
      5. All Quiet on the Western Front

      Animated Feature

      1. Pinocchio
      2. Turning Red
      3. Marcel the Shell with Shoes On
      4. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
      5. Inu-Oh

      Documentary

      1. All The Beauty and the Bloodshed
      2. Fire of Love
      3. All That Breathes
      4. Moonage Daydream
      5. Descendant

      International Film

      1. All Quiet on the Western Front (Germany)
      2. Decision to Leave (South Korea)
      3. Saint Omer (France)
      4. The Quiet Girl (Ireland)
      5. EO (Poland)
      2 votes
    13. 2023 BAFTA predictions

      BAFTA, aka the British Oscar’s recently released a longlist. In recent years BAFTA has moved onto a juried system. This was made in order to make the nominees more diverse (as BAFTA has often been...

      BAFTA, aka the British Oscar’s recently released a longlist. In recent years BAFTA has moved onto a juried system. This was made in order to make the nominees more diverse (as BAFTA has often been the worst offenders in keeping the nominees white). So if you see some weird nominations from movies you’ve never heard of that’s why.

      There are some categories that are not juried: Film and Screenplay being the above-the-line categories to not be juried at all. But the rest are partially juried, meaning the top 3 of normal vote getters get nominated, and the next 3 are juried. Here we go.

      Best Film

      1. The Banshees of Inisherin
      2. Everything Everywhere All At Once
      3. TÁR
      4. Top Gun: Maverick
      5. Triangle of Sadness

      Best Director

      1. The Banshees of Inisherin
      2. Everything Everywhere All At Once
      3. TÁR
      4. Aftersun
      5. Saint Omer
      6. Corsage

      Original Screenplay

      1. The Banshees of Inisherin
      2. Everything Everywhere All At Once
      3. TÁR
      4. The Fabelmans
      5. Triangle of Sadness

      Adapted Screenplay

      1. Living
      2. All Quiet on the Western Front
      3. Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
      4. Women Talking
      5. The Wonder

      Lead Actress

      1. Cate Blanchett - TÁR
      2. Michelle Yeoh - Everything Everywhere All At Once
      3. Michelle Williams - The Fabelmans
      4. Danielle Deadwyler - Till
      5. Lesley Manville - Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris
      6. Ana De Armas - Blonde

      Lead Actor

      1. Colin Farrell - The Banshees of Inisherin
      2. Austin Butler - Elvis
      3. Brendan Fraser - The Whale
      4. Bill Nighy - Living
      5. Paul Mescal - Aftersun
      6. Darryl McCormack - Good Luck To You, Leo Grande

      Supporting Actress

      1. Kerry Condon - The Banshees of Inisherin
      2. Jamie Lee Curtis - Everything Everywhere All At Once
      3. Dolly De Leon - Triangle of Sadness
      4. Aimee Lou Wood - Living
      5. Janelle Monae - Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
      6. Hong Chau - The Whale

      Supporting Actor

      1. Ke Huy Quan - Everything Everywhere All At Once
      2. Brendan Gleeson - The Banshees of Inisherin
      3. Brad Pitt - Babylon
      4. Barry Keoghan - The Banshees of Inisherin
      5. Albert Schuck - All Quiet on the Western Front
      6. Michael Ward - Empire of Light

      Casting

      1. Everything Everywhere All At Once
      2. The Banshees of Inisherin
      3. Triangle of Sadness
      4. Aftersun
      5. All Quiet on the Western Front

      Best British Film

      1. The Banshees of Inisherin
      2. Living
      3. Aftersun
      4. Good Luck To You, Leo Grande
      5. The Wonder
      6. Brian and Charles
      7. Mrs Harris Goes To Paris
      8. Lady Chatterley’s Lover
      9. Blue Jean
      10. Roald Dahl’s Matilda The Musical
      11. Emily
      4 votes
    14. End of the year 2023 Oscar predictions

      Nominations for both the Golden Globes and the Critic’s Choice have been released. Also, today, the shortlist in many categories has also been released. Here’s where I think the race is going and,...

      Nominations for both the Golden Globes and the Critic’s Choice have been released.

      Also, today, the shortlist in many categories has also been released.

      Here’s where I think the race is going and, unlike my other lists, I have an explainer for all the predictions.

      Picture

      1. The Banshees of Inisherin
      2. Everything Everywhere All At Once
      3. The Fabelmans
      4. Top Gun: Maverick
      5. Avatar: The Way of Water
      6. Tár
      7. Elvis
      8. Babylon
      9. Women Talking
      10. Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

      Alt: Triangle of Sadness

      The top 9 are all pretty clearly happening. Even with mixed-to-negative reviews Babylon is still going to get a lot of below-the-line nominations and one or two acting nominations which would be more than enough to get a Picture nomination. In a similar way to Vice or Don’t Look Up, Babylon is just too big to fail.

      Really, the only thing that’s left up to debate is the 10th nominee. There are three contenders for that spot: Glass Onion, Triangle of Sadness, and RRR. I just don’t see a big enough push from critics for RRR to happen, nor do I see much international appeal/acclaim for that film to happen. Triangle of Sadness has a lot of European support (as it won the Palme and the Euro Oscars). However, Glass Onion is my pick. It made a killing in its limited release. It’s going to be extremely popular when it hits Netlfix in a few days, and unlike the first Knives Out, it’s likely to get an acting nomination.

      Director:

      1. Steven Spielberg - The Fabelmans
      2. Daniels - Everything Everywhere All At Once
      3. James Cameron - Avatar: The Way of Water
      4. Martin McDonagh - The Banshees of Inisherin
      5. Todd Field - Tár

      Alt: Joseph Kosinski - Top Gun: Maverick

      These seem like an easy five. Chazelle was supposed to be a contender but after he missed at the Globes (who were supposed to love the film) he’s not happening. McDonagh was snubbed in this category five years ago for Three Billboards. But, frankly, Banshees is a stronger contender than that film was. He has a lot of high brow support this time around, which he didn’t last time, which led to Paul Thomas Anderson getting nominated in Phantom Thread. Kosinski I think is getting a DGA nomination, but the director’s branch is known for their high brow taste and Cameron already has the action-adventure movie. Not to mention the directing duo of Daniels having an action movie as well.

      Original Screenplay

      1. The Banshees of Inisherin
      2. Everything Everywhere All At Once
      3. Tár
      4. The Fabelmans
      5. Triangle of Sadness

      Babylon missed Screenplay at both the Globes and Critic’s Choice. While it’s probably getting a nomination at WGA, it’s dead in this category. There’s really only one other choice here and that’s Triangle of Sadness. It has the support to get it there.

      I currently think Banshees is winning as, again, it’s a stronger movie than Three Billboards. EEAAO can still win as Get Out beat McDonagh last time. But I just don’t see it happen. Get Out won more screenplay awards with critics than EEAAO.

      Adapted Screenplay

      1. Women Talking
      2. Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
      3. Living
      4. The Whale
      5. Bones and All

      The top 3 are locked. The Whale would miss in a stronger year but there isn’t a lot of choice in this category. Bones and All I think makes sense as a passion pick. It won two awards at Venice. I had Pinocchio in this category a little while ago but that’s also dead here. Another possibility is She Said, but no one actually cares about that movie and it’s not the type of thing that gets in as a sole Screenplay nominee. Those usually go to offbeat things like The Lobster.

      Lead Actor

      1. Colin Farrell - The Banshees of Inisherin
      2. Austin Butler - Elvis
      3. Brendan Fraser - The Whale
      4. Bill Nighy - Living
      5. Tom Cruise - Top Gun: Maverick

      The top 4 are locked. The fifth nominee here is a tough one. Again, not a lot of choice. Hugh Jackman is in a movie no one cares about. Babylon is probably not gonna be strong enough to get its lead into this category. Leaving us with Tom Cruise.

      Lead Actress

      1. Cate Blanchett - Tár
      2. Michelle Yeoh - Everything Everywhere All At Once
      3. Margot Robbie - Babylon
      4. Danielle Deadwyler - Till
      5. Michelle Williams - The Fabelmans

      I Wanna Dance With Somebody is dead. It has worse reviews than Bohemian Rhapsody, it’s not going to make as much money as BoRap, and Ackie did not get nominations at the Globes or Critic’s Choice.

      Supporting Actor

      1. Ke Huy Quan - Everything Everywhere All At Once
      2. Brendan Gleeson - The Banshees of Inisherin
      3. Brad Pitt - Babylon
      4. Barry Keoghan - The Banshees of Inisherin
      5. Paul Dano - The Fabelmans

      Keoghan has been getting tons of acclaim so him getting in alongside Gleeson for Banshees seems like it’s happening. The only one here I’m not too sure about is Dano who missed out on a nomination at the Globes. I’m not sure who would replace him as of right now though and I think Fabelmans gets more than one acting nomination.

      Supporting Actress

      1. Kerry Condon - The Banshees of Inisherin
      2. Janelle Monae - Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
      3. Jamie Lee Curtis - Everything Everywhere All At Once
      4. Jessie Buckley - Women Talking
      5. Dolly De Leon - Triangle of Sadness

      Outside of Condon, none of these are guaranteed. I think Monae is definitely getting in, especially if Glass Onion is a Picture nominee, but she did miss out on a Globe nomination. Women Talking is either only getting Buckley as an acting nomination or its getting no acting noms. I’m counting on De Leon getting that Euro push which gave Buckley a nomination last year for The Lost Daughter.

      Cinematography

      1. Avatar: The Way of Water
      2. Babylon
      3. The Fabelmans
      4. Top Gun: Maverick
      5. Tár

      These seem like an easy top 5. Maybe Empire of Light gets in because of Roger Deakins’s name. But no one cares about it.

      Film Editing

      1. Top Gun: Maverick
      2. Avatar: The Way of Water
      3. Everything Everywhere All At Once
      4. Elvis
      5. The Banshees of Inisherin

      Fabelmans is probably missing here, so is Babylon. Film Editing is usually reserved either for Top 5 movies or for extremely flashy editing. Fabelmans isn’t flashy and Babylon isn’t going to be strong enough. Top Gun: Maverick is an easy winner in this category alongside other bombastic winners like Ford vs Ferrari and The Bourne Ultimatum.

      Sound

      1. Top Gun: Maverick
      2. Avatar: The Way of Water
      3. Elvis
      4. Babylon
      5. Everything Everywhere All At Once

      The top 4 seem like they’re happening. The fifth one is more up in the air. The sound branch usually likes nominating Best Picture nominees though and Fabelmans missed the shortlist which is why I have EEAAO in there. Top Gun is an easy winner here again. Plus, there’s a correlation between Film Editing and Sound.

      Original Score

      1. The Fabelmans
      2. Babylon
      3. The Banshees of Inisherin
      4. Women Talking
      5. Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio

      Avatar got snubbed at the Globes, which means it’s probably not happening. It’s also not that flashy of a score and contains kind of milquetoast action movie music. I currently have Fabelmans winning as John Williams is retiring after he finishes up Indiana Jones. However, I don’t think there’s a clear winner here right now.

      Original Song

      1. "Hold My Hand" from Top Gun: Maverick
      2. “Ciao Papa” from Pinocchio
      3. “Naatu Naatu” from RRR
      4. “Applause” from Tell It Like A Woman
      5. “Nothing is Lost (You Give Me Strength)” from Avatar: The Way of Water

      Naatu Naatu has a lot of passion. Applause is from Diane Warren who gets nominated for her boring documentary songs every year.

      Production Design

      1. Avatar: The Way of Water
      2. Babylon
      3. The Fabelmans
      4. Elvis
      5. Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

      Costume Design

      1. Babylon
      2. Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
      3. Elvis
      4. The Fabelmans
      5. Mrs. Harris Goes To Paris

      Make-up and Hairstyling

      1. The Whale
      2. Elvis
      3. Babylon
      4. The Batman
      5. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

      VFX

      1. Avatar: The Way of Water
      2. Top Gun: Maverick
      3. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
      4. The Batman
      5. Nope

      I actually had EEAAO here but it missed the VFX shortlist.

      Animated Feature

      1. Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio
      2. Marcel the Shell with Shoes
      3. Turning Red
      4. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
      5. Inu-Oh

      Pinocchio is the front-runner here, Marcel has a lot of passion amongst hipster types and has been getting in everywhere. Disney’s only real contender in this category is Turning Red. Puss in Boots has been getting in everywhere. Inu-Oh got a Globe nomination but I don’t really know what else would get in there. Kind of a weak year for animated films.

      International Film

      1. Decision to Leave
      2. All Quiet on the Western Front
      3. Close
      4. Saint Omer
      5. The Quiet Girl

      Documentary

      1. All The Beauty and the Bloodshed
      2. Moonage Daydream
      3. Fire of Love
      4. All That Breathes
      5. Descendant

      Okay that’s all I got for you. I cut out some of the commentary because I feel like I went on too long in the beginning.

      3 votes
    15. 2023 Golden Globe nominations

      https://www.goldenglobes.com/winners-nominees Best Picture - Drama Avatar: The Way of Water Elvis The Fabelmans TÁR Top Gun: Maverick Best Picture - Musical/Comedy Babylon The Banshees of...

      https://www.goldenglobes.com/winners-nominees

      Best Picture - Drama

      Avatar: The Way of Water

      Elvis

      The Fabelmans

      TÁR

      Top Gun: Maverick

      Best Picture - Musical/Comedy

      Babylon

      The Banshees of Inisherin

      Everything Everywhere All At Once

      Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

      Triangle of Sadness

      Best Actress - Motion Picture - Drama

      Cate Blanchett - TÁR

      Olivia Colman - Empire of Light

      Viola Davis - The Woman King

      Ana De Armas - Blonde

      Michelle Williams - The Fabelmans

      Best Actor - Motion Picture - Drama

      Austin Butler - Elvis

      Brendan Fraser - The Whale

      Hugh Jackman - The Son

      Bill Nighy - Living

      Jeremy Pope - The Inspection

      Best Actress - Motion Picture - Musical/Comedy

      Lesley Manville - Mrs. Harris Goes To Paris

      Margot Robbie - Babylon

      Anya Taylor-Joy - The Menu

      Emma Thompson - Good Luck To You, Leo Grande

      Michelle Yeoh - Everything Everywhere All At Once

      Best Actor - Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

      Diego Calva - Babylon

      Daniel Craig - Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

      Adam Driver - White Noise

      Colin Farrell - The Banshees of Inisherin

      Ralph Finnes - The Menu

      Best Supporting Actress - Motion Picture

      Angela Basset - Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

      Kerry Condon - The Banshees of Inisherin

      Jamie Lee Curtis - Everything Everywhere All At Once

      Dolly De Leon - Triangle of Sadness

      Carey Mulligan - She Said

      Best Supporting Actor - Motion Picture

      Brendan Gleeson - The Banshees of Inisherin

      Barry Keoghan - The Banshees of Inisherin

      Brad Pitt - Babylon

      Ke Huy Quan - Everything Everywhere All At Once

      Eddie Redmayne - The Good Nurse

      Best Director - Motion Picture

      James Cameron - Avatar: The Way of Water

      Daniels - Everyhting Everywhere All At Once

      Baz Luhrmann - Elvis

      Martin McDonagh - The Banshees of Inisherin

      Steven Spielberg - The Fabelmans

      Best Screenplay - Motion Picture

      TÁR

      Everything Everywhere All At Once

      The Banshees of Inisherin

      Women Talking

      The Fabelmans

      Best Picture - Animated

      Guillermo Del Torro’s Pinocchio

      Inu-Oh

      Marcel the Shell with Shoes On

      Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

      Turning Red

      Best Picture - Non-English Language

      All Quiet on the Western Front

      Argentina, 1985

      Close

      Decision to Leave

      RRR

      Best Score - Motion Picture

      The Banshees of Inisherin

      Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio

      Women Talking

      Babylon

      The Fabelmans

      Best Song - Motion Picture

      Carolina from Where The Crawdads Sing

      Ciao Papa from Pinocchio

      Hold My Hand from Top Gun: Maverick

      Lift Me Up from Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

      Naatu Naatu from RRR

      5 votes
    16. I want to talk about The Mandalorian, I don't seem to get it

      Some very mild spoilers for The Mandalorian I have not been really following Star Wars since Disney took over, I think I saw one or two of the new sequels (they were forgetable) and I saw Rouge...

      Some very mild spoilers for The Mandalorian

      I have not been really following Star Wars since Disney took over, I think I saw one or two of the new sequels (they were forgetable) and I saw Rouge One (It's great, would even call it the most Star Wars Star Wars movie)

      I had some time last weeks and I saw Andor and I was just stunned. Good to great actors, great worldbuilding, a bit on the nose but still engaging social critic and themes, an interesting and intense story based in gritty realism while still being very Star Wars. I think everybody who likes science fiction and/or spythrillers should watch it.
      So I was like: oooooh so they finally found a way to do new and interesting stuff with the Galaxy far far away. Everybody says nice things about the Mandalorian, let's check that one out. It got 92% on RT so I'm shure it's nice....

      I seem to hate it and it makes me angry that it turned out the way it did, because i still like a lot about it. It makes me sad that they botched it so badly.
      Maybe having a main character whitout a face is not helping? so i need a robot to tell me what Mando is feeling? Pedro Pascal is actually doing an incredible job working with body language and voice, but I don't think it's enough to actually be able to salvage this dumpsterfire of an realisation. Or maybe they should have kept with Mando being an unrelatable asshole, and not make him a disney daddy?
      And then they still show his face.... in the most anticlimactic way ever... why? just why do that? It makes me angry just thinking about it, how can you fuck that up so badly, that could be a series defining payoff, but no! They just waste it in the most boring and unconcequencial way ever.

      Then there is the Rule of Cool or Why is Everybody a Badass?. Mando is cool, i get it. He has an amazing Look (obviously the helmet is crazy good). He has very interesting and powerful weapons. But then I he still gets mostly his as kicked by nearly everything and everybody all the time?? I mean why do you tell me with every character and all his design that he is a force of nature and than he gets his ass kicked by a fucking dinohead on two legs that looks like a joke and is a joke (I dont actually mind that, i like the design and the joke) I just makes no sense to me.
      Nearly everybody else looks cool and is presented as a badass as well, there is just to much of it. there are no weak people, there are no hurt people, there are just badasses and cannonfodder.

      Then there is the storytelling... It ranges from quite ok to fucking horrible. I mean, who thought it is a good Idea to NOT cut the motherfucking prisonship episode? It's some of the worst TV i saw in a long while. It does nothing for the overall story. it does nothing for the characters. It does nothing for the viewer. It does nothing for nobody. Its just full of bad acting, bad direction, bad and lazy set design, bad editing, bad jokes, and the worst storytelling. why did they leave that piece of shit in there? the whole series is worse for it. It makes me angry.

      So I finally checked the wikipedia page and I understood. Jon Favreau.... Jon Favreau!!! I mean not all of his work is that bad. I liked Iron man and Chef, and I love Cowboys and Aliens (really! it's so bad it's good, but you can not expect differently with that name) I hated his Lion King.

      I don't now where I'm going with this. I think I just needed to share my feelings about it. It's just so full of potential, there is so much they could have done with it. they could have explored so many themes and share so much lore... but they just fucked it up and everybody seems to like it, i dont get it.

      /rant

      so are the other Star Wars shows worth a watch?

      11 votes
    17. Router recommendations in 2022

      Hello everyone, I'm going to move to a new apartment and doing full time home office while my wife is doing part home office, so I'm looking to improve my internet connectivity. I already plan to...

      Hello everyone, I'm going to move to a new apartment and doing full time home office while my wife is doing part home office, so I'm looking to improve my internet connectivity. I already plan to get the 400 mbps down fiber cable plan. So, I have to be honest that routers is one of those topics that I should know more than I should but don't, so I'm not sure what should I expect and the features I want or don't need.

      Some time ago, I discovered and bookmarked the amazing website smallnetbuilder which at the time I thought, I would just trust his thorough reviews and choose the best router within my budget. Sadly, the website seems abandoned now, so I'm not sure if there is something new on the market or if the routers on his "Best" rank, are still valid options. By the way, I don't really game online.

      My requirements are:

      • 150€ budget, but willing to go to 200€ if really worth it;
      • Mesh compatibility, just in case I need it in the future;
      • Hopefully very low packet loss maybe 0-0.5%;
      • Compatibility/support with open source firmware;
      • Maybe VPN support (not sure, if worth it);
      • 2.5Gb LAN ports would be nice for future-proofing, but I think this is not possible without going over the budget;
      • Something that I don't know and never heard about, but you would really recommend it to me :).

      After a first glance, the Asus RT-AX58U looks nice. Just not sure about only having two 5GHz streams and no LAN port aggregation.

      Bonus dumb question(s) (sorry): Will all the routers work with my ISP modem? Or is it normal to always check with the ISP first before buying?

      9 votes
    18. Assassin's Creed Odyssey's New Game+ is unironically the best way to play the game

      I recently felt an itch for a big expansive RPG and decided to play through AC:O for a second time. The game is really big, was a timesink the first time around (like 80 hrs) and is bogged down by...

      I recently felt an itch for a big expansive RPG and decided to play through AC:O for a second time. The game is really big, was a timesink the first time around (like 80 hrs) and is bogged down by a lot of resource sinks and differing systems all trying to get your attention. But I'm a sucker for the Greek Myths and ancient Greece, so this game is perfect for me; so I gave it another go.

      So NG+ on AC:O is your typical affair: You begin a new game, but you keep your experience, all your items, and also crucially, all your invested resources. AC:O has an extremely tiring resource sink in the form of the Adrestia, your ship. You can upgrade the hull, the ramming damage, the throwing spears, the arrows, the fire to light your arrows, and the ability of your crew to brace against enemy ranged attacks, the ramming speed, and I think I'm even forgetting a few. Doing this all on your original run is an extreme timesink, as the resources required to get a single one of those things up a level scales incredibly fast. Even worse, the items required to do so are all fairly common (wood, iron, and the like) except for one, which are ancient tablets, of which there is only a set amount in the world, at various locations you need to loot. I went the distance on my first run, and upgraded my ship fully. And it remained upgraded! This means that one vast system in the game is now basically gone. It has made ship combat very easy, but then that never was the highlight of the game anyway, so I don't mind. On top of that, all rewards are scaled up in NG+, meaning that you begin to immediately drown in money and resources, and with the biggest resource sink gone, you can focus on building your equipment exactly the way you want to.

      A second one is experience. Now, when AC:O came out the first time, lots of players complained that the amount of experience you gain is abysmal, pointing to the overly convenient ingame shop selling a permanent XP and money boost for like 10 bucks. And I can absolutely see their point. To progress in any form in AC:O in the normal game, you pretty much need to do every "proper" side-quest (as in the ones with a plot, not the automatically generated ones you find on message boards and the like, only the ones marked on the map with the golden exclamation mark), and then the main-quests of an area. If you do that, you'll be just about the minimum level to do the main quests. So for the people who are here for the scenery and a main story, they got fucked hard, or had to pay up again.

      Another incredibly annoying thing about vanilla AC:O is that like many open-world games, the world is divided into large regions and islands. Every region had a minimum level recommendation that might as well have been a requirement, as fighting someone just 3 levels above you bordered suicide, as you could die in sometimes 2 hits, and did a fraction of their health in damage even with your most powerful abilities. This means that on your original run, the world is not open at all, but you have to progress in the way that developers want you to. You start in Kephalonia, and can't leave until you unlock the ship. Your first quest leads you to Megaris, but you'll immediately notice that the level requirement for the region is too high. Conveniently, along the way is a different area which actually fits your requirement, so you have to stop there, and do every quest there before you can progress in the main story line.

      NG+ fixes that entirely. Completely. Whatever level you are, every region in the game is now set to your level. Which means that you can follow the main quest line along without any problems at all and actually do the fun thing where you travel the open seas to sail to a random island and do the quests there. You know, open-world stuff! I vividly remember on my first play-through how sad I felt that I couldn't actually use my ship to sail around and explore, because the game forced me to do each region in a specific order, and "enjoy" my time there before moving me along at the pace of the main story line. I couldn't even stealth my way through it (in an ASSASSIN'S CREED game) because Odyssey has this really fucked up mechanic where stealth kills stop becoming instant kills if the target is too high of a level above you. Seriously. But NG+ fixes this, because you immediately get access to the crutch ability that the devs implemented to fix this issue and because most enemies you encounter are going to be around your level no matter where you are.

      Since now everything is just scaled to your level, the world immediately opens up after you leave the tutorial area and you can do pretty much whatever you want. I didn't hunt down the Cult of Kosmos, a gameplay system where you discover clues about members of a secret dangerous cult hunting your family, have to piece those clues together (or collect enough where the game is just willing to locate them for you), and then go to a place to assassinate the person, which gives you another clue, and so on. Killing all cult members is optional, but does influence the main story-line, as they serve as the main antagonists. I didn't complete this objective on my first play-through, because some of them are specifically level-gated, as in the person you have to kill is just set to have level 59, which is post-endgame content, meaning you either have to commit to a worse ending of the main plot, or stall the final mission, ruining the pacing even more, to go on a world-spanning quest of hunting down every member.

      Playing on NG+ has significantly increased my enjoyment of the game, as I feel like I can just go everywhere and do thing as I want to, not as the developers intended to. Do you know how great it is to actually see a place on the horizon and just, I don't know, go there? You know, the main attraction of the open-world genre? And not be greeted by an enemy town guard 10 levels above you decimates you in 2 hits while you'd be whaling against him with your best weapons for a solid 15 minutes before he goes down. It's great. I'd honestly urge it to even new-comers who like RPG or like the setting but don't like the grindy messy bits to just download a full save of the original game and start a new game + on it. The start will be a bit intimating since you'll have all abilities, but you can just reset the skill tree for spare change and re-level the way you want to. The game is better off not having the grinding for better ship parts in the game and you being able to go wherever you want.

      It's far from perfect, but I really think it just turns into into a better experience. I'm fine with not really levelling my character, because 1 out of 3 skill trees is entirely useless and the other two only contain a couple of abilities which are any good, so putting your points into prestige skills that just percentage increase your damage or resistance or whatever is honestly good enough. It's not interesting, but the world and characters are plenty interesting enough for me.

      12 votes
    19. Highlights from the Cambridge Folk Festival 2022

      I go to the Cambridge Folk Festival every year with my dad, uncles, and various other family and friends. It's been cancelled for two years on the bounce due to the pandemic, and it was an...

      I go to the Cambridge Folk Festival every year with my dad, uncles, and various other family and friends. It's been cancelled for two years on the bounce due to the pandemic, and it was an absolute joy to return this year! I got back yesterday, and wanted to share a few musical finds with my fellow Tilderen :)

      Afro Celt Sound System

      These guys put on an absolutely fantastic live show. It's a great fusion of African, Celtic, and electronic music, although leaning more into the Celtic and electronic sides of things if truth be told. There were a lot of very cool percussion elements, and each performer took a brilliant solo. Fully enjoyable, although potentially better live than in recording. Have a listen to When You're Falling.

      Show of Hands

      Much more what you might think of when someone says "folk music," Show of Hands did two stunning sets. They're normally a three-piece, but their third member wasn't present for the festival. Even as a duo, they sang a load of incredibly heartfelt music, with wonderful harmonies and great stories. Have a listen to Roots and Cousin Jack.

      Julie Fowlis

      Julie did the soundtrack for the Pixar movie Brave, and while she didn't perform any of the tracks from the film in her set at the festival, she was still a really engaging performer, singing in Gaelic and playing some incredibly cool whistle and bagpipe tunes. Hùg Air A' Bhonaid Mhòir is worth listening to to get a feel for what she does.

      Spiers and Boden

      My daughter described these two as "giants of folk," a description which she may have stolen from the festival programme, but is very accurate all the same. The two founding members of the iconic modern folk band Bellowhead, their two-piece performance is as high energy and exciting as a Bellowhead live show. Old Maui is a great ear-worm, and Rochdale Coconut Dance is one of my favourite traditional tunes. I attended a tunes workshop with John Spiers (the melodion player) and picked up a couple of fun new tunes as well.

      Chico Trujillo

      My best friend and I danced for an hour straight to this set. Absolute 10/10 party music. They're a Chilean cumbia band drawing on all sorts of South American influences, as well as sprinklings reggae, ska, and punk. They're incredibly high energy, and definitely one to see live if you can. I didn't catch the names of any of their songs (they just played for an hour straight, and didn't waste any time chatting to the audience!), but have a skim through this live video to get an idea of just how excellent they are. My highlight of the weekend for sure.

      The Young'Uns

      I've seen these guys perform a couple of times before, and am always blown away by them. They were doing sea shanties before TikTok discovered their joys, and have absolutely top notch stage banter. One of their number is blind, but no less talented a pianist for it. Their vocal harmonies are crisp and clear, and all of the songs have a rich story to go with them. When I'm Cleaning Windows is a top tier parody, but also check out Tom Payne's Bones and Be The Man for some of their more serious stuff.

      Elephant Sessions

      All the way from the Scottish highlands, I only caught a couple of the songs from their set (my daughter wanted to see Passenger who was on at the same time), but they're astonishingly good. Real foot-stomping stuff. They play their tunes almost aggressively, and have an incredible light show to match. Sadly another band that aren't quite as exciting in recording as they are live. But check out Search Party all the same.

      The Spooky Men's Chorale

      They are men. They are a group. But They Are Not a Men's Group. Hailing from Australia and wearing an array of hats, they sing a mixture of silly songs and beautiful Georgian chants. More excellent harmonies, and a wonderful stage presence, they wowed particularly with Crossing the Bar and a pair of Ukranian traditional songs which I sadly cannot find links to.

      The Trials of Cato

      I'm still undecided on these guys. I was very excited to see them, but felt their set lacked a bit of energy (penultimate slot on the last day of the festival is always tricky, I suppose!). They have a new singer, and I'm not a huge fan of her singing voice either. With all that said, they had a whacking great sound, and added some fabulous electronic elements to their set. Fortunately, I think their recordings do do them justice, so give Difrrwch, Tom Paine's Bones, and Gloria your attention!

      5 votes
    20. Pills from Guanajuato

      Pills from Guanajuato The American Supreme Court wants to get rid of the right to an abortion. American women now look for help in Mexico. Written by Samiha Shafy and Amrai Coen,...

      Pills from Guanajuato

      The American Supreme Court wants to get rid of the right to an abortion. American
      women now look for help in Mexico.

      Written by Samiha Shafy and Amrai Coen, Wichita/Austin/Guanajuato, translated by @Grzmot

      Updated on 2022-06-18, 16:02

      Original: https://www.zeit.de/2022/25/schwangerschaftsabbruch-usa-mexiko-guanajuato/komplettansicht


      Mark Gietzen was convinced, he wouldn't live to see this triumph. In his eyes, the USA is currently turning away from decades of atrocity to something good, and he says that he helped in a not insignificant way. Since twenty years he has been protesting on the streets because of it. He stands at the edge of a highway in Wichita, Kansas, in front of a simple building, that looks like a window-less warehouse from the outside. "Trust Women" is written on the gray-beige facade. On the inside is one of the last abortion clinics in the state.

      "Let us say our morning prayer," Mark Gietzen says to the two older men next to him, that introduced themselves as Larry and Mike. Gietzen, sixty-eight years old, is the leader of the trio. He looks, like he just came from a film shoot: Cheek-beard, pilot glasses and a baseball cap with "U.S. Marine Veteran" written on it. The three are retired, but they still have work to do: Every day from 08:00 to 17:00 they stand in front of the clinic door, stopping cars, talking to people, handing out flyers. Next to them, a large truck, with gigantic images of dead infants, which Gietzen had specially printed. They want to stop pregnant women from going into the clinic. In his own count, Gietzen has "saved 584 lives of babys".

      The three men form a cirlce for the prayer: "Dear God, please help us in stopping the violent murders through abortion against the youngest members of our human family... Amen."

      Gietzen and his friends call themselves "Pro-Life". They want to close the clinic down, and even better, close all other clinics in the USA. According to the wishes of the Pro-Life movement, women should be forced under all circumstances to deliver the baby - even when the pregnancy is unwanted or the result of rape.

      These days, the American anti-abortionists are as close to their target as they haven't been in five decades. "Roe v. Wade", the verdict of the Supreme Court of the USA, that guarantees the woman's right to decide about her own abortion, will most likely be annulled this month - by the same Supreme Court.

      The Supreme Court today is as polarized and estranged as the rest of the country. But unlike the rest of the USA, the fight between the liberals and right-wingers is decided there: Because Donald Trump was able to fill three seats in his four-year presidency, the court has moved to the extreme right. Of nine judges, six are conservatives.

      The court now supports a similar position as the Pro-Life movement. Even when surveys have shown since years, that about two thirds of Americans support Roe v. Wade. The anti-abortionists have, united with the Christian Right, demonstrated, how you can push through a minority position: With loud, well organized protests, the perserverance of activists like Mark Gietzen and a fine sense for pushing the borders of the doable and sayable again and again.

      If Roe v. Wade falls, every state can decide for itself, how it's abortion laws will look. Some of them have already tightened their abortion laws and are waiting to make them completely or nearly illegal. In half of the fifty US states, especially in the conservative middle and south women would lose the access to safe and legal abortions permanently. The law would hit poor people the hardest, as they couldn't afford to travel to a liberal state to have an abortion. They'd be left with three options: Deliver the fetus, illegally and potentially under threat to their life, abort - or look for help in Mexico. Mexico, the supposedly backwards, catholic neighbour, where women were until recently, locked up after miscarriages under suspicion of having had an illegal abortion.

      For the abortion doctors it's dangerous

      It is as if the American half of the world had turned on it's head. Because Mexico and other latin American countries have, in a surprising move, legalized abortion.

      While Mark Gietzen and his friends protest in front of the clinic in Wichita, the phone on the inside rings constantly. "Trust-Women clinic, I am Jessica, how can I help you?" A crying woman is on the phone, that doesn't have a possibility of abortion her state of Texas, and now wants to travel to Kansas, hundreds of kilometers away from her home. "We are sadly booked fully for the next three weeks," Jessica says.

      Since it's clear that the Supreme Court is going to eliminate Roe v. Wade, thousands of women call on some days. 30 to 35 abortions the clinic can do in one day. "When I tell women, that we don't have space, I can hear the panic in their voices. Some are sad, some are angry, some beg me desperately", says the woman at the reception. "Recently a woman offered me 5000 dollars. But I sadly can't do anything."

      Who wants to get inside the clinic, has to go through a security gate, past a guard, that is looking at multiple cameras on his screen. That the clinic is guarded like a max security prison, stems from history. In the 1970s a doctor called George Tiller took over the clinic. "Tiller, the Baby Killer!", protesters called him at the entrance. They fought Roe v. Wade and later the following verdict of the Supreme Court, that legalize abortions, until the fetus is able to live outside of the womb. The Pro-Choice movement celebrated those verdicts as the freeing of women. The Pro-Life movement mobilized massively.

      1986 a bomb explodes in the clinic in Wichita. Head physician George Tiller continues. 1993 a woman shoots him in both arms in front of the clinic. Tiller continues. On Whit Sunday 2009 George Tiller visits his church. An anti-abortionist shoots him in the head from close proximity. The doctor died. For a short time, the clinic was closed - and then continued.

      A visit in the clinic is only possible on the few days, where there are no patients - to protect the women. What remains of them, are handwritten notes, that they put on a pinboard in the waiting room to support each other. "Don't be embarassed that you are here." - "Only you know, what the best is for you and your life." On the wall is also a poster with different contraception methods, on the small table condoms and a magazine with the title "Family planning".

      There are multiple ultrasound rooms, where it is determined far the pregnancy has progressed. In the first eleven weeks the patient can abort with a combination of two medications, After eleven weeks the fetus has to be removed operatively, for which there are two surgery rooms available.

      The head physician of the clinic is called Christina Bourne and is 36 years old. She speaks with a deep, calm voice and a very earnest tone. One her lower arm she has a tattoo of a papaya, because while studying she practiced with the fruit on how to remove a fetus from the womb. Bourne is the only doctor in the clinic that also lives in Kansas. The others come every few months by plane, like doctors flying into a crisis area. Almost all abortion clinics in the USA are relying on these mobile doctors. They often feel like they couldn't live where htey work. They know what happened to George Tiller.

      Christina Bourne is not intimidated. Every day, she passes the men with the large images of dead infants, that scream after her how she'll burn in hell.

      By now, some Pro-Choice activists are considering to adopt the drastic methods of the opposition. No one is supporting militarisation, but there are discussions of playing videos of birthing women, who's life is threatened by the birth, in court rooms. Or printing photos of beds covered in blood or birth injuries like a torn Perineum on posters.

      The head physician meets the polemic clear and openly. She says, that she also had an abortion. "I was just done with college, I felt too young, now education, no work. To become pregnant in the wrong moment can destroy your life and future." Some of the women, that come to her today, are in a similar situation. Many of them already have one or two children and can't support another. Some are pregnant after surviving a rape. Some have to abort due to medical reasons. The mortality rate of mothers in the US is the highest among all industrial nations. And of course, also religious and conservative women appear in the clinic, says Bourne, in their environment, abortion is a sin.

      "As a doctor I'd like to practice medicine and not politics", Bourne says. Should she lose her job, because the clinic in Kansas has to close, she'll continue either way - Just in a different state.

      Texas wants to punish abortion doctors with life in prison

      If Joe Pojman had his way, Christina Boune would not be a physician anymore, she'd be in prison. He greets visitors in his office in Austin, Texas, 900 kilometres away from the clinic in Wichita. Pojman is 63, he wears suit and tie, a man with grey hair and a full beard, who chooses his words carefully and speaks eloquently. His appearance is so gentle, you don't even notice in the first moments, how radical his words are. He used to work as an engineer at NASA, until he felt like God was calling him to a different purpose. 34 years ago he founded the organization Alliance for Life.

      Joe Pojman has the same goal as Mark Gietzen, the praying man in front of the clinic in Kansas, but Pojman's strategy is much stealthier, and much more efficient. In front of him on his desk is a law, that he designed. The Governor of Texas has already signed it. When Roe v. Wade falls, the law goes into effect 30 days later in Texas. It has the number 1280 and the title "Human life rotection law" In the text: "A person, that violates the ban on abortion, is committing a crime." A doctor like Christina Bourne would be accused of manslaughter in Texas and punished with life in prison, in addition to a fine of "at least $ 100,000 for every violation". And she'd lose her medical license.

      Are there exceptions? "Yes", says Joe Pojman. "When the life of the mother is in danger because of the pregnancy." And because of rape or incest? Or when the child cannot live? "No."

      In Texas people already live in a world, where Roe v. Wade has practically gone. Last September, when Mexico legalized abortions, Texas activated the so-called Heartbeat law, which bans abortions once the fetus has a detectable heartbeat, approximately after the sixth week. Many women don't even know that they're pregnant at that point.

      What such a law can mean in real life, was showcased in April: A 26 year old Texan was arrested and accused of murder, because she allegedly "initiated a abortion by herself". The case was dropped, the woman came free. But defenders of the right to abortion see a dark future in the case, something that could soon be a new reality in the USA.

      Joe Pojman himself isn't satisfied with the Heartbeat law. "Life starts at conception", he says. Unlike head physician Christina Bourne he never speak of a fetus, only "the unborn child". The choice of words shows, that behind the debate for an abortion there are complex answers: When does life starts? When does a fetus become a person?

      Pojman agrees to a short thought experiment: If he was placed in a burning hospital and could save five embryos in petri dishes, or a newborn child. What would he pick?

      Joe Pojmanm says, he can't answer that question. "For me, all human life is equally important - The unborn, newborn, a teenager or an adult." He has heard that recently women started leaving Texas, to get an abortion elsewhere. "It breaks my heart", he says. "My goal is, that no woman starts that journey."

      But for now it is not illegal for Texan women to look for help outside of the state. For example in Mexico.

      "The Americans are paralyzed by fear"

      At first glance, the town of Guanajuato, 2000 meters over the sea, located in the Mexican state of the same name, looks like a magical cliche. At night, Mariachis travel through cozy alleys, by day there's always a bard somewhere singing about love. The colourful houses from colonial times are a world heritage site since 1988. Here, in one of the most conservative regions of Mexico, the women's revolution started.

      That is tightly connected to her: Verónica Cruz, 51 years old, 1.60m tall, supplied with a apparently limitless energy. With her organization Las Libres, "The Free", the activist has been fighting since twenty years for women's rights in Mexico - For their right to make their own decisions to better protection from violence at home and sexual crimes. Mexico is one of the most dangerous countries for women, globally.

      But it is also the country where the highest court last September announced the surprising decision to legalize abortions. In a kind of Mexican Roe v. Wade, half a century after the American verdict, that now shouldn't exist anymore. "Once I saw the announcement in TV, I thought: Now I can stop and travel the world." says Cruz. "But then the American women came."

      Verónica Cruz sits on a couch in the office of Las Libres. At a conference table three women work on laptops. The head quarters of the organization is a two-story house on a hill, overlooking the city and surrounding mountains. Since autumn Cruz and her colleagues get daily calls from desperate pregnant women from the USA, that want to abort, asking if Las Libres can help them. "The Americans are paralyzed by fear", says Cruz, her look is pityfull and mocking at the same time. In the USA people fear the law, she says, differently than in Mexico, where they are used to fighting back.

      Activists organize themselves in Mexico

      And it's not without irony: From all the places in the world it's the south, of all the places in the world it's catholic Mexico that now becomes the country of refugee for American women. That Mexico, from which hundreds of thousands leave every year into the north, to find work, chances and a life in dignity in the richest country on earth. That Mexico, where man Americans think of drug cartels first.

      What many Americans don't know: In the past few years, a feminist grass roots movement has been building in Mexico and other latin American countries, that are well connected and difficult to ignore. The activists organize mass protests in front of courts and parliaments, they sing, they dance, they fly green colours, the symbol for the "Green Wave", the Latin American women's movement. The right to bodily autonomy is one of their central demands - And they found open ears: Argentinia, Columbia, Uruguay, Cuba and Guyana have softened their abortion laws; Chile could soon be next.

      When Verónica Cruz became an activist, a "green wave" didn't exist yet. She grew up as one of eight, went to a monastery school and was taught by nuns, that is it very important to help the weak and poor. For a while, she played with the idea to become a nun: They could travel, see the Vatican! "But my dad said no", she says. "What luck! When I became a feminist, I lost my faith in God." She studied organizational development and political science and decided, that she was going to help the poorer and weaker half of the population: the women.

      Her goals were small at first: I wanted to improve the sexual education of teenagers. "Sexuality was an absolute taboo", she remembers. Again and again, very coung girls became pregnant, some of them only eleven or twelve years old and allegedly abused by male members of the family. As rape victims, they could've theoretically aborted in Guanajuato, but in real life they found no help. "And so the parents lived under the same roof with their daugther and their grand child, which at the same was the child of the father", says Cruz. "That for me is unethical, not the abortion."

      But with her stance she was alone for a long time. Even her feminist allies avoided talking about abortion for a long time. "I head to remove the stigma from their heads first."

      In that time she had always looked towards the USA with admiration, where women could decide themselves, if they wanted a child or not, while in Mexico, hundreds of women were in prison, because they had been accused of abortion after a miscarriage.

      The turning point came in 1995, when conservative politican later president Vicente Fox was elected governor of Guanajuato, with the goal of removing the right to an abortion even for rape victims - with the threat of higher sentences. "There was protest", recounts Cruz. Fox pulled back. And Cruz, for the first time, had allies: A growing network of women, that accompanied rape victims to the few gynecologists, that conducted abortions. Soon pregnant women contacted Las Libres, that had not been raped. The activists decided to help them too.

      Then Verónica Cruz heard of the pills. "A gynecologist told me of medication, with which you can initiate an abortion", she says. One of these medications - Misprostol - in Mexico legal against stomach and gut aches, you can buy without a doctor's not in the apothecary. the WHO recommends it for abortions until the twelveth week.

      "The USA is a country of the insane"

      The work of the activists became simpler. They watched, as women took the pills under the guidance of doctors, and they learned everything there was to learn about the pills. "At some point I thought: Now I don't need the doctors anymore", says Cruz.

      She estimates, that her network between 2000 and 2021 accompanied about 10,000 women to abortions. They got the pregnant women their pills and supported them when they took it. "El producto" Verónica Cruz calls the result that women then press out under contractions and blood.

      She herself could have never imagined to become pregnant, says Cruz. Maybe it has to do with her work, with the limitless tales of male violence and female sorrow. "With 15 I decided to never have children, and every ear I congratulate myself with that decision."

      Cruz has been an activist for decades and has never been attacked by fanatical anti-abortionists. "The people here are more respectful than in the USA", she says. "The USA is a country of the insane."

      She gets up and fetches a cardboard box from a cupboard. In it are pills, that Las Libres now smuggle into the USA, sometimes in Aspirin packaging, sometimes sown into brightly coloured dolls. Since the end of January the Mexicans have helped over a thousant pregnant women from US states like Texas, Florida, Oklahoma and Mississippi and Ohio with the pills. They support them when the women take the pills, over WhatsApp, phone or video-call. If the women want to be supported personally, they are welcome in Mexico. In the city of Moterrey, not far from the US border, allied activists
      have opened a house they call "La Abortería".

      Cruz knows, that she and her allies will attract the rage of the Pro-Life movement in America. "But we are not going to let fear paralyze us", she says. Additionally, the Americans hopefully won't always rely on the South-North-Help.

      She still plans to travel the world, says Verónica Cruz. Probably in five years.

      4 votes
    21. Poetry Machine (project)

      The concept It's a box that contains a receipt printer and an interface with several buttons. A user would press a button that reflects their emotional state (happy, sad, anxious, etc.), then the...

      The concept

      It's a box that contains a receipt printer and an interface with several buttons. A user would press a button that reflects their emotional state (happy, sad, anxious, etc.), then the machine prints out a more-or-less appropriate poem on a receipt printer, beautifully formatted and embellished with simple artwork.

      It could be occasionally repurposed for certain themes, like Pride Month to print out queer poems.

      I want to place it someplace public and well-trafficked, like Dolores Park or on Castro Street.

      Feedback

      I like poetry. The idea of a (free) vending machine that gives me a poem to uplift my day excites me. But I wonder if this appeals to others enough to be worth fully realizing. I don't want to spend time and money building something that'll go totally unloved.

      Also curious about anti-vandalism measures or ideas. I'm sure some jerk will try graffiti-ing it or peeing on it.

      Lastly, anyone interested in collaborating?

      7 votes
    22. Canadian colleges: Lethbridge vs. Manitoba for Computer Science?

      Hi everyone, I recently got accepted into University and Lethbridge and University of Manitoba for Computer Science second degree. Both of them have co-op programs, but I don't know which would be...

      Hi everyone,

      I recently got accepted into University and Lethbridge and University of Manitoba for Computer Science second degree.

      Both of them have co-op programs, but I don't know which would be better for me. Ideally, I want to go the uni with a better job market for CS, so Lethbridge seems to be the winner since it is close to Calgary. But I am also looking to immigrate to Canada in the future, and I know that Manitoba has easier requirements for Permanent Residence nominations.

      I am in a bit of a bind, and I am trying to gather as much information as I can before I make a decision. Anything you have to share would be much appreciated. Thanks!

      P.S. I know Toronto and Vancouver are much better places for jobs, but sadly I missed the deadline to apply to most of the colleges there. I do plan on applying for jobs in those cities though.

      7 votes
    23. Two pieces of music news I heard about just today

      The first regards a legend (amongst a certain genre) 33 cassette tapes were released, all accounted for, and the band don't want them released in another form. Then, against all odds or...

      The first regards a legend (amongst a certain genre)

      33 cassette tapes were released, all accounted for, and the band don't want them released in another form.

      Then, against all odds or expectations, it gets leaked... and apparently it's official.

      Godspeed You! Black Emperor - All Lights Fucked on the Hairy Amp Drooling


      The second is the sad death of another legend, Klaus Schulz.

      Timewind is probably his "classic" album

      I heard his collaborations with Pete Namlook and Bill Laswell, The Dark Side of the Moog, and scoured soulseek for them - gotta get 'em all!.

      This was during the nascent and formative time in my exploration of electronic music, which I think directed me away from the more commercial or mainstream side. I really liked the humour and seeming lack of ego or self-absorption they displayed.

      Careful with that AKS Peter - VI

      8 votes
    24. I finally understand why US evangelicals support Donald Trump, and it's not just hypocrisy, mindless anti-gay, or stupdity

      It's because they believe(d) he can(could) tear the whole thing down, so they can rebuild a theocratic empire on its ashes. I was listening to Ian Masters' Background Briefing from sometime in the...

      It's because they believe(d) he can(could) tear the whole thing down, so they can rebuild a theocratic empire on its ashes.

      I was listening to Ian Masters' Background Briefing from sometime in the past few days, and he had some lady on who said it. She was speaking about the idiotic ruling from FLA on the mask mandate, then pointed out that this judge was one on the approved list from the Council for National Policy. Apparently Trump agreed only to appoint judges from this list, among other concessions, in order to gain evangelical support. And then she said, they want to tear down all American institutions, so they can install a theocracy instead. It finally all made sense.

      This is terrifying to me. I was brutalized by evangelical fundamentalist religion growing up, and am still severely impeded by the trauma in my adult life. I would much rather live in a world where every lunatic open carries a fully automatic submachine gun than live in a theocracy.

      I was recently informed about the Council for National Policy. They're a force for evil. A highly effective force, that his been working mostly in secret since at least the 80's to turn America into a Spanish inquisitors pipe dream.

      This still doesn't quite explain why middle class Baptist Jane would vote for Trump, I guess maybe racial fear? Paternalistic conditioning?

      I try to be solutions focussed generally speaking, but I don't see one right now, sadly. I aim to start looking and thinking..

      16 votes
    25. Has anyone here actually acted on their escapist fantasies?

      I would love to hear stories of all the tilderinoes here who somehow acted on their impulses to somehow upend their lives, that could be in small or big ways -- moving to another country, changing...

      I would love to hear stories of all the tilderinoes here who somehow acted on their impulses to somehow upend their lives, that could be in small or big ways -- moving to another country, changing careers, changing their name, anything else.

      I very often think about how someday I'll finally take hold of my life and suddenly start doing all the things I'd like to if I do some "big thing", whatever that currently is (changing my name, moving abroad...). So I was wondering if it is at all realistic, if anyone here actually has experience with something similar and if it actually helped to improve their life.
      I always really enjoy reading advice people give here, even though I sadly do not ever actually really use it. Thank you.

      20 votes
    26. I just want to take a minute to talk about Jojo Rabbit

      Two nights ago I decided on a whim to watch Jojo Rabbit on Disney+, since I love Taiki Waititi, and I remember hearing good things about it when it was first released a few years ago. But,...

      Two nights ago I decided on a whim to watch Jojo Rabbit on Disney+, since I love Taiki Waititi, and I remember hearing good things about it when it was first released a few years ago. But, weirdly, I didn't actually know much about it other than him having directed it.

      So imagine my shock, horror, and surprise when I finally started watching it and learned it was a comedy-drama about a Hitler youth!!! I thought it was just about boy scouts or something, similar to Moonrise Kingdom. And I was even more surprised when I almost immediately got over my shock and started enjoying it despite how dark and touchy the subject matter was. It had just the right amount of irreverence for the subject to get me past my initial hesitance, and had enough deeply human, incredibly touching, and painfully poignant moments to get me completely engrossed in it. And by the end I was crying like a baby when he noticed the shoes, and again in the final scenes. (keeping it vague in case others haven't seen it yet)

      Several days later and I'm still thinking about it. That's how deeply it affected me. So, needless to say, I highly highly highly recommend watching it, if you haven't seen it yet... especially in light of recent events in Russia and Ukraine, which a lot of the things shown in the movie sadly remind me of.

      Has anyone else here seen it? If so, what did you think about it?

      p.s. Taika Waititi as Hitler was insanely, darkly hilarious, and the final scene with him was incredibly satisfying. "Fuck off, Hitler!"

      15 votes
    27. Why store code as text files?

      Code is usually version controlled nowadays in git or some other VCS. These typically operate on text files and record the changes applied to the files over their history. One drawback from this...

      Code is usually version controlled nowadays in git or some other VCS. These typically operate on text files and record the changes applied to the files over their history. One drawback from this is that formatting of the code can introduce changesbto the files that make no semantic difference, e.g. newlines are added/removed, indentation is altered etc.

      Consistent formatting makes the code easier to read, but the style used is an aesthetic preference. There might be objective reasons for readability in at least the extreme cases, but in many cases the formatting is purely a preferred style.

      If we instead version controlled code in the form of an abstract syntax tree (AST) (possibly even as just a series of transformations on that tree), we could have any formatting we'd like! When editing the code we would just be changing a projection of the AST and when we've made our changes the transformations could be made to the stored AST. If two languages shared the same AST the choice of language even becomes a choice for the programmer. Sadly this has some limitations since ASTs are usually language specific... But we could possibly take this a step further.

      Could we take a compiled binary and use that as the basis for generating an AST? This is essentially what decompilers do. For heavily optimized code this is severely limited, but for debug builds a lot of extra information is retained in the binary that can be utilized to construct a sensible representation. This way of storing code the language used becomes a style preference! Code compiled from one language might become alien when viewed in another language (thinking of lazy Haskell code viewed in C), but maybe that is a corner case?

      There are issues when considering binaries for different platforms. A binary for the JVM isn't the same as one for ARM64 or one compiled to run on an x86. So there are some limitations there...

      One (very) good thing about storing code as text files is the ubiquity of software capable of viewing and editing text. It would however be cool if we could make programming language a stylistic preference that is compatible with other languages! At least the AST part should be perfectly achievable.

      16 votes
    28. My final Oscar predictions for the 94th Academy Awards

      Okay, I’ve been bombarding all of you with article after article of what other award shows have been nominating and awarding. Here are the nominations for what I had in November. It’s interesting...

      Okay, I’ve been bombarding all of you with article after article of what other award shows have been nominating and awarding.

      Here are the nominations for what I had in November. It’s interesting to see how much has changed, sadly it seems like The Last Duel is going to end up with zero awards.

      Anyways, if you have an Oscar pool going what I’m about to give you would probably put you at the top if your friends don’t follow awards. I did place 30 out of 2200 on Goldderby for my BAFTA nomination predictions so there’s that.

      Here’s what I have, in order of what is most likely to win as of right now:

      Best Picture

      1. The Power of the Dog
      2. Belfast
      3. Licorice Pizza
      4. Dune
      5. Don’t Look Up
      6. West Side Story
      7. King Richard
      8. CODA
      9. tick, tick... BOOM!
      10. Being the Ricardos

      Alternative choice: House of Gucci

      Best Director

      1. Jane Campion - The Power of the Dog
      2. Paul Thomas Anderson - Licorice Pizza
      3. Denis Villeneuve - Dune
      4. Kenneth Branagh - Belfast
      5. Steven Spielberg - West Side Story

      Alternative choice: Adam McKay - Don’t Look Up

      Best Lead Actor

      1. Will Smith - King Richard
      2. Benedict Cumberbatch - The Power of the Dog
      3. Andrew Garfield - tick, tick... BOOM!
      4. Denzel Washington - The Tragedy of Macbeth
      5. Leonardo DiCaprio - Don’t Look Up

      Alternative choice: Javier Bardem - Being the Ricardos

      Best Lead Actress

      1. Lady Gaga - House of Gucci
      2. Alana Haim - Licorice Pizza
      3. Nicole Kidman - Being the Ricardos
      4. Jessica Chastain - The Eyes of Tammy Faye
      5. Olivia Colman - The Lost Daughter

      Alternative choice: Rachel Zegler - West Side Story

      Best Supporting Actor

      1. Kodi Smit-Mcphee - The Power of the Dog
      2. Ciaran Hinds - Belfast
      3. Troy Kotsure - CODA
      4. Bradley Cooper - Licorice Pizza
      5. Jared Leto - House of Gucci

      Alternative choice: Jamie Dornan - Belfast

      Best Supporting Actress

      1. Ariana DeBose - West Side Story
      2. Aunjuane Ellis - King Richard
      3. Caitriona Balfe - Belfast
      4. Kirsten Dunst - The Power of the Dog
      5. Cate Blanchett - Don’t Look Up

      Note: I’m actually taking a big risk in predicting Blanchett, Ruth Negga - Passing seems to be the most obvious fifth choice.

      Best Original Screenplay

      1. Licorice Pizza
      2. Belfast
      3. Don’t Look Up
      4. King Richard
      5. Being the Ricardos

      Best Adapted Screenplay

      1. The Power of the Dog
      2. CODA
      3. Dune
      4. The Lost Daughter
      5. West Side Story

      Alternative choice: tick, tick... BOOM!

      Best Cinematography

      1. Dune
      2. The Tragedy of Macbeth
      3. The Power of the Dog
      4. West Side Story
      5. Belfast

      Alternative choice: Nightmare Alley

      Best Film Editing

      1. Dune
      2. Belfast
      3. Licorice Pizza
      4. The Power of the Dog
      5. West Side Story

      Alternative choice: Don’t Look Up

      Best Costume Design

      1. Cruella
      2. Dune
      3. West Side Story
      4. House of Gucci
      5. Nightmare Alley

      Alt: Cyrano

      Best Hair and Makeup

      1. House of Gucci
      2. The Eyes of Tammy Faye
      3. Dune
      4. Cruella
      5. Coming 2 America

      Alt: Cyrano

      Best Production Design

      1. Dune
      2. West Side Story
      3. The Tragedy of Macbeth
      4. Nightmare Alley
      5. The French Dispatch

      Alt: Licorice Pizza

      Best Original Score

      1. Dune
      2. The Power of the Dog
      3. Don’t Look Up
      4. The French Dispatch
      5. Encanto

      Alt: Being the Ricardos

      Best Original Song

      1. No Time To Die from No Time To Die
      2. Dos Oruguitas from Encanto
      3. Just Look Up from Don’t Look Up
      4. Be Alive from King Richard
      5. Down to Joy from Belfast

      Alt: Guns Go Bang from The Harder They Fall

      Best Sound

      1. Dune
      2. West Side Story
      3. No Time To Die
      4. The Power of the Dog
      5. Spider-Man: No Way Home

      Alt: A Quiet Place Part II

      Best Visual Effects

      1. Dune
      2. Spider-Man: No Way Home
      3. No Time To Die
      4. Godzilla vs Kong
      5. The Matrix: Resurrections

      Alt: Shang-Chi and the legend of the Ten Rings.

      Best Animated Feature

      1. Encanto
      2. Flee
      3. Luca
      4. The Mitchell’s vs the Machines
      5. Raya and the Last Dragon

      Alt: Belle

      Best Documentary Feature

      1. Summer of Soul
      2. Flee
      3. The Rescue
      4. Procession
      5. Ascension

      Best International Feature

      1. Drive My Car
      2. The Hand of God
      3. Flee
      4. A Hero
      5. The Worst Person in the World

      And those are all the categories. Oscar nominations will be announced on the 8th and of course I will be posting them.

      9 votes
    29. Synology NAS Recommendations & Questions

      Hey everyone! Sorry if this is a long post, but I've done my research and I would like to make a few questions. I've decided that I would like to buy a NAS mainly to storage all of my documents,...

      Hey everyone!

      Sorry if this is a long post, but I've done my research and I would like to make a few questions.

      I've decided that I would like to buy a NAS mainly to storage all of my documents, photos and videos, so that, I can access them from multiple devices and also use it to upload important documents to Backblaze B2. Then, I've actually discovered that I can install a few Docker containers and I could use it as a media server (Jellyfin) and serve the content to my Apple TV (neat!).

      I considered a QNAP (better hardware for the price) but everyone recommends Synology instead (because of the stronger security and better overall software), but to be honest, I'm not sure what should I get.

      My budget would be to buy a NAS (without counting the disks) below €1000. Ideally, €500-600 but I don't mind stretching to the €700 mark, if it is really worth it.

      Spoiler alert: I think, it should be the DS920+ (4-bay) or the DS1520+ (5-bay). I think a NAS above 4-bay is better for future-proofing.

      Looking here in Germany at price comparators, I could buy the DS920+ for €663 and the DS1520+ for €750. But these prices seem to be at an all-time high :(


      Questions & Assumptions:

      0. I'm not sure if the price difference of about €100 is worth the premium to get the 5-bay model. There are only two differences between these two models: The 5-bay has one extra slot, and it has 4x 1 Gbe LAN ports instead of 2x 1 Gbe. All the rest is the same. What is your opinion?

      1. I've read that if you run a few containers (~10) it consumes quite a bit of RAM (~3 Gb), so it should be ideal to have at least 8 Gb. This is the reason I've said that I think I can only choose the DS920+ or DS1520+. Looking at official Synology resellers, these models, seem to come already with 8 Gb, and they are within my budget. Is my research wrong?

      2. These two models, have an encryption engine. I think this is necessary to encrypt my files before sending them to Backblaze, or?

      3. A lot of people seem to say to simply pick Synology's hybrid RAID setup called SHR-1 or SHR-2. I would go the easy way here and pick one of those two. Would you think that is a bad idea, and it is better to pick a specific (standard) RAID? I've read about the long long long RAID rebuild that could happen in some situations, and picking the "right" RAID could decrease the rebuild in days (or weeks!!!!).

      4. In case, I choose a NAS model with Nvme cache slots, most people say it is not worth it to use if you are not running Virtual Machines and the SSD’s "burn" really fast. I have no interest on VMs.

      5. Most people say to pick an Enterprise (Server) HDD instead of a NAS HDD mainly because price is similar in some cases and Enterprise has longer life and warranty. I should also pick a CMR HDD which is helium filled. 5400 rpm would be preferable to 7200 rpm because of the noise. Sadly, all Enterprise HDD's and most of NAS HDD's are 7200 rpm. Is the noise difference that big? The NAS will be in our living room.

      6. Is 8 TB still the best cost per Terabyte?

      7. I was extremely sad to hear that the Hitachi hard drive division was bought by WD. I've had lots of misfortune with WD drives (and let's not forget the debacle with the SMR and CMR drives) and I would prefer not to give money to them, but, nevertheless, I'm still tempted to buy the Ultrastar drives that belonged to Hitachi. Does anyone know if WD kept the components, manufacturing processes, staff, etc., that made these brilliant disks?

      8. Following the HDD topic, what is your experience with Seagate or Toshiba drives?

      9. These two NAS models have the same Intel Celeron CPU, which supports hardware transcoding. To be honest, I don't know in which cases would that happen. It seems if I use Infuse on the Apple TV it would never transcode (and instead direct play) because Infuse would do the transcoding in software. Should I take in account that hardware transcoding is a must-have or a nice-to-have?

      10. Would you recommend having a CCTV system connected to the NAS? Should I dedicate one entire HDD just for the NVR system? Would a standalone NVR device be better?

      11. My last question is: Should I just wait for the new model of the DS920+ or DS1520+? The 20 means it was launched in 2020 (in Summer specifically) and it seems Synology refreshes the model every two years., that means, a new model would be available in Summer this year. Most people say it is not worth the wait because Synology is very conservative in its model updates/refreshes. People are saying that a better CPU will be of course available (do I even need that for my use cases?) and probably upgrade the 1 Gbe LAN ports to 2.5 Gbe or 10 Gbe (10 Gbe I really doubt it). I've read that a 4K stream does not fill a 1 Gbe bandwidth, and you could theoretically have three 4K streams in a single 1 Gbe connection. If all else fails, I could just do a link aggregation of the two ports to be 2 Gbe, or?

      12. Anything I'm forgetting? Should I be careful with something in particular?


      I know I should buy a UPS too, but I think I'll create a separate post regarding this topic because I would also want a recommendation regarding a UPS for my other devices.

      I know that I could actually build my own NAS and use Unraid for the OS. Furthermore, I'm just at a time in my life with too much on my plate (baby and small child) and having something that just works is preferable. When they are older and more independent, I'll have more time to investigate this option :)

      Again, sorry for the long post. Thank you everyone!

      12 votes
    30. Tell your hopes and experiences with cloud gaming

      So I just upgraded to an M1 Mac Mini. I was a little iffy on it, part of me wanted to build a PC just to play games but I really like MacOS and I mostly play on PS5 and the Switch with the PC only...

      So I just upgraded to an M1 Mac Mini. I was a little iffy on it, part of me wanted to build a PC just to play games but I really like MacOS and I mostly play on PS5 and the Switch with the PC only being for indie titles and stuff that only works with a keyboard and mouse like RTS, 4x, or city builders. I just don't play PC games enough to prioritize gaming as a use case in buying a computer, but I also really like RTS and city builder games.

      I figured WINE and Parallels would meet most of my gaming needs but my forays into WINE have been frustrating and buggy, and this reddit thread about what works on Parallels is, frankly, just kind of sad to look at. What's worse, apparently the new Age of Empires has some kind of pathfinding instruction set that ONLY works with x86 architecture. So it won't work under any kind of virtualization or emulation.

      Enter Cloud gaming. It seems the big contenders right now are ShadowPC, GeForce Now, and Paperspace. Has anyone tried these? When I last costed these out Shadow was only around $15-$20 a month which was almost a no-brainer. But it seems to have gone up to $30 a month now, which gets costly enough to where it almost seems like I'd rather get a Steam Deck. Paperspace is like $10 per month plus another ~$1 per hour of play, which would probably end up cheapest for how little I play. But how it is in terms of configuration and latency I have no idea.

      7 votes
    31. I'm miserable

      Sorry if this comes out as a stream of possibly unrelated thoughts. I hope it makes sense anyway. If it doesn’t, or does it poorly, then I’m probably already insane. I’ve been lying to everyone...

      Sorry if this comes out as a stream of possibly unrelated thoughts. I hope it makes sense anyway. If it doesn’t, or does it poorly, then I’m probably already insane.

      I’ve been lying to everyone about my situation with regard to university. I didn’t use to be a blatant liar like I am now, but things have gone out of control. I think the last time I actually showed up for an exam was more than a year ago, maybe two. Since then, I’ve been faking going to exams, only to tell my parents and friends I had failed later.

      Despite being in my twenties I’m acting like a child who doesn’t want to go to school, or doesn’t want to take responsibilities in general. There was a time when I genuinely liked what I’m studying at university, but I don’t know if it still holds true now. It’s been a long time since my first year at university and I feel like I’ve lost direction (I should have graduated years ago). Actually, I don’t know what I like anymore, because I don’t have strong opinions on anything. I’m in a loop of denial of my own situation and pleasure-seeking behavior (doom-scrolling, porn, etc.).

      I’ve been thinking about suicide for years, but the fact that I don’t act on it makes me think I’m yet another attention seeking person who’s just pretending to be sick in order to avoid responsibilities. It’s difficult to understand what’s truly going on in my head. It’s very possible I’m lying to myself. Suicide is scary, especially because I have no access to methods that are simultaneously quick, painless and lethal. Though it’s possible that I didn’t research enough. Sometimes I think that If I had a gun, I would have already killed myself. The reality is that survival instinct is very strong, and so is the suffering of those left behind.

      I often think about life as a big scam: you don’t ask to be born, someone else decides that for you. But what if I realize I don’t want to live any more later in life? I’m literally stuck here because killing myself would make other people suffer. Ironically, it would make the very same people who put me here suffer. It’s absurd that suicide is regarded as selfish, when the only selfish act I see here is giving birth to someone who may not want to live. You grow up surrounded by love and stuff to ease your journey into adulthood, only to realize life’s been a joke all along.

      Maybe I’m just an undisciplined whiner: I’m unable to stop eating junk food, procrastinating, or watching (problematic) porn, among other things. There are short virtuously-lived periods during which I sleep and eat well, exercise and read regularly, interrupted by long, dark times during which I’m the worst, letting go of everything. Then there’s a whole bunch of regrets that keep cropping up in my mind (and which happens to increase over time), causing me distress in totally unrelated situations, for example when trying to focus on studying.

      I should also mention that I feel like I’m losing my sense of morality lately. Since I started blatantly lying about my situation it seems like a line has been crossed, and the more I go on with life, the more moral lines get crossed. I also have the feeling that there’s no going back from this, similar to the mantra “once an addict, always an addict”, or the opening of Pandora’s box, so to speak. I feel stupid trying to convey some meaning with such poor examples, but I hope you get it. To be really honest, I’ve never been that virtuous, since I have a fair record of bad things I regret having done, especially in my high school years. It’s possible that I’m just noticing it more now.

      Yeah, I know: I should see a therapist (am doing), practice meditation (kinda did, want to retry that), yada yada yada.

      Again, maybe I’m just whining. After all, I don’t live in a poor third world country. I don’t have any chronic disease (that I know of). I didn’t have a miserable childhood. I consider myself privileged, if you ask me. Maybe I am the result of contemporary society: if I were a peasant in the Middle Ages, I wouldn’t even have the time to dwell on such things. Granted, I would be unhappy in other (probably worse) ways.

      Maybe it’s just that being a loser is easier.

      Wish you happiness.

      22 votes
    32. Adoption isn't happily ever after

      This will probably make some people uncomfortable and even angry, but it needs to be said. Adoption isn't happily ever after. The media loves to portray it that way, especially for foster kids....

      This will probably make some people uncomfortable and even angry, but it needs to be said.

      Adoption isn't happily ever after.

      The media loves to portray it that way, especially for foster kids. Everyone loves the fairly tale story about the poor abused kids that get rescued by the selfless hero foster parents who then adopt them and everything is all good after that. I mean, the kids now have loving parents and a stable home. That's all they need right?

      People love a happy ending. But fairy tales aren’t real and life isn’t that simple. Adoption is messy, and I don't mean the legal process, I mean the actual adoption itself. Adoptive parents aren't selfless heroes, they are regular flawed people just like everyone else, they just happened to choose to adopt.

      These kids have been through bad things that are beyond the imagination of most people who don't have experience with the kids themselves. I hear it all the time. People say "They just need a good loving home". Loving and stable homes are great, but they don't make those bad things go away. Even if the adoptive parents were perfect (which they definitely aren't) these kids will be dealing with their trauma for the rest of their lives.

      And for these kids trauma isn't simple like so many people assume it is. It isn't just bad dreams and sadness. It's rage. It’s frequent meltdowns over the smallest things. Sometimes it’s hurting pets, or even other kids. Sometimes it's trying to burn the house down. Other times it’s stealing from kids at school. Sometimes it’s grade schoolers finding ways to look at porn. Sometimes it’s trying to molest other kids. This doesn’t describe all kids from foster care. It’s not meant to scare you. It’s meant to show you that there’s more than what you see on the outside.

      For these kids meltdowns have a completely different meaning than for most other kids. A meltdown isn't crying and getting angry for 10 or 15 minutes. It can be hours. Hours of true screaming. Hours of punching doors and walls. Or punching us. Or hurting themselves. Total non-compliance. It's a total inability for them to calm down at all. Sometimes we have to physically restrain them for safety reasons. Usually, they have to physically exhaust themselves before they finally begin to come down.

      And it's not their fault.

      And we parents aren't perfect either. Sometimes we scream back at them. Sometimes we escalate the meltdown even more. Sometimes we restrain when it's not necessary. Sometimes we just layer on consequence after consequence, not because it's helping, but because we are mad and caught in a power struggle.

      We take them to doctor appointments. We adjust meds. We get to counseling every week. We literally pull them out of public school because they can't function there. We are usually exhausted. We are often hopeless. We fear they will never have a normal childhood. We fear that they won't have a good life as adults.

      We can never replace their birth parents. They will always miss them, no matter how bad the abuse was. They will mourn what could have been. They will mourn what should have been.

      They point that hurt and anger at their adoptive parents. They say they hate us. They say they will kill us.

      We aren't a fairy tale family. We aren't some success story about the power of love.

      We were the safest option in a bad situation.

      We will always love them as our kids. We will always strive to be there for them, to support them, to give them what they need to have whatever healing is possible.

      For them though this will never be as good as having birth parents that were safe and loving in the first place. This will never compare with what should have been.

      34 votes
    33. On divorce

      I've spoken about my personal journey over the past six months in comments a few times, but I felt the need to make a post about it, mostly as catharsis for myself, but if it helps other people...

      I've spoken about my personal journey over the past six months in comments a few times, but I felt the need to make a post about it, mostly as catharsis for myself, but if it helps other people out, that would be cool too. Also, I may be doxxing myself a bit here, which is a little unavoidable if I want to tell this story accurately. I'd appreciate not being stalked.

      I'd like to detail my journey of what is, so far, the most difficult time in my life, what I've been doing to cope, how I'm doing now, and what the future may hold for me. This may be a little long and detailed, but I'll try to hit the high points.
      Lets start at the beginning here.
      I'm a 34 year old part time military officer in the US. I met my ex wife years ago, in high school originally. We were casual acquaintances back then. We had a couple of classes together, and I would tease her a little bit (I was immature when I was young, and totally unable to communicate well with girls). We went to prom together, but mostly lost touch after high school.

      After college, I came back to my home town, started developing my career in IT, hanging out with friends and coworkers. One of the people I worked with happened to be dating a girl who was good friends with my ex wife, and we started all hanging out, and reconnecting. My ex confessed that she always had a crush on me, and started actively perusing me. It started out as a casual relationship that I didn't see going anywhere, but it lasted. Eventually, I fell deeply in love with her, and we moved in together a short while later.

      I was so devoted to this woman. We were so alike in so many ways. We shared the same interests, the same type of humor, we developed our own language and style of communication. I had never really seriously considered wanting kids, and over time and a bunch of thought, I decided that I didn't really agree with the institution of marriage. In my mind, when two people love each other, that should be enough, and either party should be free to walk away at any time without any legal burdens or extra hoops to jump through, because I wouldn't want someone to be obligated to stay with me for even one minute.

      Both things were really important to her however, and we almost broke up over it. Eventually, after spending time with kids, and some deep introspection on my own part, I came around on kids, and coming around on kids almost necessitates coming around on marriage. You don't need to be married to have kids, of course, but it certainly provides a more stable environment and smooths out a lot of practical, logistical concerns. I asked her to marry me shortly after that, after five years together, in 2016.

      What followed were the happiest couple of years of my life. My wife had worked her way up in an accounting firm, she was managing a department, on track to become a partner in a few years. She had so much determination, ambition, and grit. It made me glassy eyed to think about how proud I was of her, all the personal growth and progress she'd made since I knew that girl in high school. I was developing a successful career in network engineering as well, and frequently flying out for short stints and conferences and design meetings. We were still best friends, and always wondered about people in unhappy marriages. Why couldn't they just be like us? Why were we so good at this?

      We took trips together, we watched shows together on the couch, I couldn't get enough of her.

      Her job had always been stressful, but some time around 2018, the stress had come to a head. She was frequently working until 10pm on week nights during her busy season, then she'd come home, down a few glasses of wine, go to bed after me, and wake up far too late, continuing the cycle of stress. This continued on for a few months. I tried to be there for her, prepare meals, support her however I could, but to little avail. She was angry, stressed out, upset all the time. She'd cry from the stress frequently, and was totally unable to cope.

      One day, she came to me with a proposal. She would quit her job and start her own business. I always knew that she wanted to do that eventually, but I had hoped it would be after she had amassed significant savings to do it. Her business idea was to start a tabletop gaming cafe. We had gotten pretty deep into board games and TTRPGs, and she thought that with her business sense and accounting knowledge, she'd be a perfect fit to do this job. I agreed with her, but a significant part of me thought that it was a massive risk, and financially, we were on the cusp of being truly independent. This would set us back a few years in the best possible scenario. She was my wife though, and I saw what this job was doing to her, so I agreed.
      She would work six more months while planning, save her money, and then quit to start this venture.

      As everyone told us it would, it did not exactly go according to plan. Securing a location and funding was far more difficult than she anticipated. She was stuck waiting for 8 months for a location that didn't pan out. She wasn't used to having to push people and follow up and annoy people to get them to do what they'd say they did, all of that was new for her. No one would extend a small business loan to an unproven entrepreneur with a fairly novel business plan. All in all, between the location, and the build out, and delays with licensing and permits, she mostly waited around for two years. In this time, I could see she was spiraling. She'd wake up at noon and do puzzles or binge watch tv all day. At night, she would go out drinking with her friends. I would join sometimes, but I couldn't, and didn't want to most of the time because I was just exhausted from work.

      Around this time, I discussed with my ex wife, and took a new position in the military, and got word that I would be deploying in 2020. I'm a leader of about 150 people, and preparing for this kind of thing is extremely involved, so I was working a lot. Meanwhile, my ex wife was going out constantly, 3-4 times a week, and coming home absolutely wasted. Sometimes she ubered, but other times she drove. In late 2019, I told her that I was concerned about how much she was drinking, that I thought it was unsafe. This was a bit of a wakeup call for her, as she had struggles with alcoholism in the past. She told me she was going to stop drinking and start going back to AA. I told her that if she thought that was what she needed to do, I would support her. She started her sobriety journey, and things started improving. She still was in limbo with her business, but construction was at least starting, she could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

      In spring of 2020, I left for my deployment in the middle east, hopeful and optimistic. Her business was coming along nicely, I was taking this fairly prestigious position, and I was excited. We were sad to be apart, and it was heartbreaking to say good bye, but I'd see her again in ten short months.

      The deployment was stressful, but rewarding. I accomplished a lot of things I'm very proud of while I was out there, and about halfway through, my wife finally opened her business! This is where things started taking a turn. She was unable to secure funding still, so she basically dumped all of her debts on my lap. She never directly asked me for the money, but she worded it in such a way that I couldn't really refused. "Hey... so the contractors are asking for their 60k... I don't have any way to pay them... so... I need to figure something out". Of course, she was my wife, I had the money, why would I say no? I had always been very good at saving, and had a decent amount in investments. All in all, I spent about $160k directly funding her business. It was an emotional, somewhat sickening feeling parting with that much money. My life savings more or less. This wasn't part of the plan, and I was upset at her for putting me in this position.
      I told myself that it was ok. This was an investment in us. She'd make that back eventually, and what's hers is mine and what's mine is hers. Besides, this was my wife, and above all else, I wanted her to be happy. I stuffed those feelings of pain and resentment down, and continued with the deployment.

      During the whole time I was gone, I would get messages from her about how hard it was being alone, how difficult taking care of the dog and business was, how lonely she felt, how much she missed me and she couldn't bare it anymore. I felt truly awful, but there was very little I could do 10,000 miles away. I texted with her often (the signal wasn't so good for live video or audio calls). We would sext a bit, exchange nudes to try to tide each other over, but I could tell she was struggling in that area as well.
      About five months in, that kind of thing abruptly stopped. At the time, I thought she was learning coping strategies and adjusting to life with me gone. How little did I know.
      This winter, I came home finally. Stepping off that plane into the terminal, a few hundred yards away from my wife was the most excited I've ever been in my life. I was giddy, there was a huge smile on my face as I walked down the concourse in my uniform, and the first glimpse I got of her standing there, my god, it was like being in the desert and stumbling upon a pristine oasis. She had requested that my parents not be there, so against my better judgement, I told them that they were not to come, but I didn't think about that at all. She was standing there in a ratty sweatshirt and jeans, but she was still the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I went up and hugged her tightly, kissed her, and told her how much I loved her. Having her in my arms after so long was just such an amazing feeling.
      We went back to her car, and things quickly became much more... 'clinical', I'd say. Instead of feeling like we hadn't seen each other for ten months, it was like we were just hanging out on the couch after a long weekend, talking about practical things very quickly. It didn't really strike me as odd at the time, only now looking back on it.

      We went home, had sex, I got a burger, we were content. The next week or so, that same 'clinical' feeling persisted. She took one day off of work, then went back, saying that because the business was so new she couldn't take much time off. Fine. I stopped by the shop often, but every time I was there, I got a cold feeling from her and her employees, like I wasn't truly welcome. She would come home late each night and we'd watch something or have sex, but I didn't really see her much. I really wanted to go do a trip together, spend some quality time together, but it didn't pan out. I spent my time fixing up the house which she'd let fall into disrepair or playing video games to relax.

      One night, a week later (February 9th), I'm up late waiting for her to get home. 12:30 rolls around, no word from her. 1:00, nothing. Finally I message her, ask her when she's going to be home. She said she got caught up at work, and would be staying over her friends house for the night. A bit odd as her friend lives maybe 1/2 mile down the road, but whatever, she told me she'd been staying with this friend a lot while I was gone to stave off loneliness, so maybe she just misses that. I go to bed alone disappointed.

      The next day, she comes home at 10, I'm on the computer. She sits down on the couch, and doesn't say anything. I can tell she's upset, so I ask her what's wrong. No answer. I turn the computer off and walk over, and ask her again.

      She blurts it out. "I want a divorce".

      This didn't even register for me. I didn't even hear her at first. After a few seconds, I just immediately assumed she was joking. It was a frequent joke of ours "You don't like this movie? We're getting a divorce!" it was one of many things we did to mess around.
      I smiled a little, then it vanished. "Wait... you're serious?"

      My head fell into my hands. "I don't understand... why?"

      The reasons she gave me made no sense. I wasn't affectionate enough. I wasn't outgoing or social enough. She didn't like the nicknames I gave her. Stuff that had never come up before, and besides, I'd just been gone for close to a year, why are these suddenly issues now?

      I thought, easy, I can fix all of that stuff no problem. We'll go to couples counseling. No, I'm tired of counseling (We never did any form of counseling together).

      Okay, lets take that trip, lets work on the marriage. No, I'm tired of fighting.

      None of it made any sense. She had to run some errands, I asked if I could come, I just needed to spend time with her and get to the bottom of this. She went to work. I stopped by, tried to get some clarity. She reiterated the same points, said that we don't communicate well. Referenced a fight we had at a party 3 years ago where we didn't talk for a day. I barely even remember what the argument was about. I hugged her, whispered to her that I can't lose her. She responded "Wellllll.....". That night, she told me she was staying at her mom's.

      I talked to a friend of mine who is a divorce attorney a couple of days later. He told me that he hates to bring this up, but 99% of the time in situations like this, the wife is cheating. I hadn't done any snooping until then, but she had an old phone at the house. I opened it up. There it was in black and white. She'd been having an affair with one of the regular customers at her store for six months. "I love you baby" "I can't wait for us to be together" "You make me so happy".

      I wanted to vomit. I wanted to break things. I wanted to murder this guy. I wanted my wife back. I felt so much rage, confusion, sadness, worthlessness. I couldn't bring myself to be mad at her though. When I read it, I was on the phone on my friend, and exclaimed "That fucking BITCH!", but I didn't really mean it. Not my beautiful wife. It was the guy's fault. He corrupted her. He was insistent and wore her defenses down. He turned my wife against me.

      I contacted a divorce attorney that day. The marriage was over, I knew that now. What followed were the worst two months of my life. So much self loathing and depression. Anxiety. Panic attacks. How could I have not seen this? Where did I go wrong? Why did I go on that deployment? Why didn't I call and text my wife more? What did this guy have that I didn't? My friends and family helped, but some advice was better than others. "Just don't think about her" is not good advice, FYI.

      I enrolled in therapy for the first time in my life. It helped a little, not a lot though. I kept up with my gym routine, which did help. I spent a lot of time walking my dog.

      Eventually, I called my ex, and I told her "I want to do this quickly and with as little emotion as possible. I have a lot of things I'm feeling right now but I'm not going to bring them up because I want this to go smoothly." I never told her that I knew about the affair. My lawyer said it could only hurt things. Eventually we came to a settlement. I'd keep the house, my dog, my investments, etc. She'd keep her business, including the bulk of the capital I'd spent on it. The lawyer said this was a good deal. I still felt like I was getting fucked. I gave her that money less than a month before she started cheating on me. It was a complete slap in the face.

      I spent a lot of time curled up in a ball crying. Prior to this, I hadn't cried in fifteen years. Little things would trigger me. A text from her about finances. Someone telling me about her shop. A smell that reminded me of her.

      Two months after our separation, I started dating again. I met a wonderful woman, she sold exotic plants for a living. Empathetic, kind, beautiful, smart. It didn't work out. She needed someone in a more stable place. Looking back it was too soon.

      I kept up with therapy and the gym, they both helped a little. I've gone on a couple more dates since then, nothing has really stuck. I'm still struggling with feelings of self confidence/attractiveness.

      All in all, I DO feel better than I did, but I still don't feel great. I've been trying to expand my hobbies, I'm playing kickball now, I've picked up surfing. I'm trying to force myself to be a little more outgoing and social. I'd like to make new friends also, but not a ton of luck there yet. I do still cry sometimes. The other day, I was driving home from a bar, taking a route I used to take with my ex when we came from the movies. I remembered how happy I was with her by my side back then and started crying on the way home. I really hope that happens less. It's really unpleasant.

      I have lately been feeling like I'm in a little bit of a rut. It's been six months and each week flies by with me doing much of the same thing. Video games at night, work during the day, gym in the afternoon, maybe a date here or there. I wouldn't mind maybe moving to a new city, but the thought of that and all the work that's involved, and having no friends is frankly terrifying to me. I do know that I don't want to live life like groundhog day. I want to experience more new experiences.

      As far as I know, my ex wife has gone public with her relationship with the guy she left me for. By all outside accounts she seems happy, but who knows, I don't really keep tabs on her much and only communicate with her regarding a payment she owes me from the marriage. I've come to redirect most of the anger I had towards the guy at her instead. I am extremely bitter towards her and what she did, and I probably always will be. I don't see forgiveness in my future any time soon. I wrote her a letter after the divorce was finalized detailing that I knew everything she'd been doing, and assuring her that what she did was irredeemable, and no matter how she justified it in her head, it was not ok. I don't know if she ever even read it. She's still never apologized for what she did, and I doubt she ever will.

      As for me, I'd like to get to a place where I'm happy by myself. That'll be a long road I think, as even before I met my ex, I wasn't happy alone. I'd like to go amass new experiences; see the world, live in new places, do things I've never done before. I feel like I'm getting old, and I haven't done the things I want to do yet.

      I'd also like to find someone to fall in love with again. I love having a partner around and I'd be sad if I couldn't find someone to connect with like that again. I've been doing online dating, but man, it's really rough out there. I far prefer meeting people the way I met my ex, but you can't force that.

      I hope that I continue to get better. It feels like a kind of plateau right now. If I compare how I feel now to the happiest moments of my life with my ex as a 10, and the month right after the separation as a 1, I would say I'm at around a 5. Not horrible, but not very good either. I hope that number steadily increases, with or without another person.

      One "gift" that this whole experience has given me is self awareness of my emotional state. I feel a lot more in tune with the way I feel. I know when I'm having a bad day, and I usually know if I'm feeling bad just because I'm tired, or because I haven't had caffeine, or because something triggered me.

      I also feel a lot more deeply now. I cry during emotional scenes in TV shows, I have highs and lows, whereas before I remember even telling my ex that emotionally, I felt a little numb. That could be a good thing depending on how you look at it.

      Anyway, I know it was a little long, and if you read it, thank you. If you've got any questions or comments, feel free to leave them, and if this is inappropriate for this board, please feel free to let me know and I'll remove it.

      45 votes
    34. The one thing I wish someone had told me about physical activity

      "You haven't found your sport, yet." That's it. That's the thing I wish someone… anyone, my friends, my parents, some stranger on the internet… had told me a long time ago. I was not a very...

      "You haven't found your sport, yet."

      That's it. That's the thing I wish someone… anyone, my friends, my parents, some stranger on the internet… had told me a long time ago.

      I was not a very physically active kid. I wasn't fat, but did have above average BMI, didn't enjoy PE, didn't get picked in the football teams, the works. I grew up with this notion that I was just One Of Those People who Don't Like Sports. A complete lie.

      My dad was into Rugby, so he put me to Rugby practice as an 8 year old. I was very good at it, mostly because of sheer force (I was really strong and bulky for my age), but I did not enjoy it. The other kids were gross and annoying, it wasn't fun. So a couple years later, I stopped, and my father told me: "Pick another sport."

      It's a significant question, one you don't have the true answer to when you're a kid. I picked Fencing, though. I kinda liked it? As much as one can like a physical activity when you're "One Of Those People who Don't Like Sports", right? It was different, original. It wasn't particularly fun, but could I really expect to ever have fun doing physical exercise? After all, I hated going to the gym, and I didn't enjoy running, so surely, I'm just not that into sports.

      So that was it. I thought I had found it, the one I happened to pick at the age of 12, after not much soul searching at all. I did it for a few years, picked it back up at 22 for a few more. I tolerated it. Loved my club and coach in one of the cities, something which fooled me into believing I was a fencer. I'm 30 now, and until the age of 27, I had zero doubts about that. I had the gear and years of experience. I would move somewhere new, look for a new fencing club, get demotivated because it's a 40 minute bike ride to get there, and just… not go.

      In retrospect, it's obvious that I didn't particularly like fencing, any more than most people like ironing their clothes. Of all the things I'd tell Past Self, I would start with just how motivated I would be only a year later. I would tell them about the subscriptions to 4 different ice rinks across the country, the train subscription with the 1 hour commute to get there, how I'd go 4 days a week and feel sad when it's only 3, and how I'd always be taking my gear with me whenever I go to another country as trying out a new rink would be the most exciting part of an international trip.

      I'd tell past self:

      "You haven't found your sport, yet. It's just that you don't like the ones you tried. You're still thinking about motivation, but this is about necessity. When you find it, you will fall in love. It will become a core part of your life and identity. It will bring you joy and be your partner, like the piano to the pianist. You found a sport you can tolerate… one day, you'll find one that is truly You.

      Keep looking."

      36 votes
    35. Not trying to make waves but why are articles posted to news that relate to lgbt moved?

      As a new member I am really hesitant to post this but I recently posted an article to ~news that was related to lgbt issues and it was moved to ~lgbt. I fully support a sub section devoted to lgbt...

      As a new member I am really hesitant to post this but I recently posted an article to ~news that was related to lgbt issues and it was moved to ~lgbt. I fully support a sub section devoted to lgbt but news should be news regardless.

      Just because it has an lgbt angle does not mean it should be moved. I'm not even lgbt myself but I find it sort of hurtful that a news article was pushed off ~news. So I ask this, and once again not trying to make waves. But why?

      Edit: I would love to be a member of this community as I am personally seeking a less asshole filled reddit alternative. But pushing a news article to another ~ just because it relates a bit more to them shouldn't be a thing. If you are tolerant it relates to us all. And yes I know I posted it in ~news because I was trying to participate and I'm a news junky.

      Sorry.

      Edit 2: This was a sad sorry way to come in to this community. I apologize.

      19 votes
    36. How do you think songs like national anthems, war songs, religious songs, etc. should be dealt with in Tildes?

      The main reason I ask this is that, given these types of songs exist mainly to rile up a people in support or opposition to something, which leaves very little serious discussion to be had, other...

      The main reason I ask this is that, given these types of songs exist mainly to rile up a people in support or opposition to something, which leaves very little serious discussion to be had, other than the top comment offering some context. So what do you think? Given these songs are mostly more about nations, peoples, faiths, I'd probably post them in ~humanities inst of just ~music, but I want other opinions. I also generally make exceptions to sad music of this type, mainly because it's more meaningful.

      4 votes
    37. What charities/orgs are measurably effective in bringing people out of poverty and violence in US?

      The recent rise in hate crimes against Asian Americans has been an emotional topic for me. The thing that makes me sad is, it seems the most I can do to de-escalate a violent situation I see on...

      The recent rise in hate crimes against Asian Americans has been an emotional topic for me. The thing that makes me sad is, it seems the most I can do to de-escalate a violent situation I see on the news without putting myself in clear danger is to basically distract the aggressor from afar and comfort the victim afterwards.

      What makes the matter more complicated is, if you look at the demographics of those who tend to commit these violent crimes against Asian people, they're often other minorities. It's so easy to fall into a trap of undermining the progress we've made in racial/social equality the moment we acknowledge that Asians are being targeted. For similar reasons, I view that our political system is entirely ill-equipped to handle this matter in a sustainable matter.

      But I'd still like to turn this into something positive. Because I live comfortably as an engineer in the Bay Area, I was thinking I can donate to charities and organizations that are effective at bringing an end to this violence every time I see news about an Asian American getting targeted on social media. I plan on doing my own research as well, but I hope you can also give some suggestions.

      19 votes
    38. Your fellow citizen, the oppressor

      Hey everyone! Last time I translated an article, it generated all sorts of interesting discussion. so I thought I'd do it again and I think I found an interesting one that gives plenty of good...

      Hey everyone! Last time I translated an article, it generated all sorts of interesting discussion. so I thought I'd do it again and I think I found an interesting one that gives plenty of good ground for discussion.

      Your fellow citizen, the oppressor

      A new ideology is spreading in Germany. It divides society artificially in hostile camps. This madness must be stopped.

      An essay by Jochen Bittner

      Published 2021-03-10, 16:54, edited 2021-03-11, 10:27, DIE ZEIT № 11/2021, 2021-03-11.

      They are two seemingly completely divorced events, but they are part of one and the same questionable ideological trend, which is currently spreading at universities, editorials and party headquarters.

      In the summer of 2018, a black student at the college of Massachusetts accuses a janitor of racist intimidation. The janitor had asked her, what she was doing there. “Everything I did, was being black.” Said the student. That was enough to question not just her existence at the college, but her entire existence. Outrage broke out at the elite women’s university (yearly fee 78,000 USD). The university president apologized profusely, accused the janitor of racism and suspended him. Only now, a few days ago, the New York Times continued the story: After an investigation by a law firm ended, their report concluded that the space the student was occupying had been reserved and closed off for an event. That is what the janitor was referring to. Signs of racist behaviour were not found.

      The second event was a shitstorm centred around the pop radio station Bayern 3 [Bavaria 3] in the last week of February. A moderator known for his polemics had talked himself into a rage including insults about a South Korean boy group; in the end he equated said boy group with a virus, for which we would hopefully soon find a vaccine. In a couple of hours, a global quake of protests arose under the hashtag #BR3Racist, and it did not take long for Bayern 3 to publicly apologize with the words “If a statement is deemed inflammatory and racist by many people, then that statement is.”

      300 years of enlightenment, and only the feelings of many angry people are enough to count as truth? So, we burned the witches in medieval times rightly?

      Fact is, that what comes out in such events is the result of a powerful academic movement that has found entry in all humanities, social sciences including law. It is a kind of thinking, where categories like skin colour, gender and other bodily characteristics do not play a vanishing, but a very important role, with more weight placed into it every day. Not what someone says, but if they are an “old white man” or a “privileged cis-woman” – cis means shortened: not transsexual1 – says, is significant. And less the intent of the speaker is relevant than the impression of said words. That leads to a form of “Social Justice” where not individual circumstances are important, but alone the perspective of the real or fictive victim. If that sounds dangerous, then because it is.

      The origin of this cultural step back is the combination of two models of explaining the world: the “Critical Theory” and “Intersectionality”. Both cannot be avoided in todays university seminars. Who wants to understand the swelling culture fight climate, which is also spreading in Germany, must learn to understand.

      Looked at each in isolation, both models of Intersectionality and Critical Theory are useful. The term Intersectionality comes from the American law professor Kimberlé Crenshaw. She found an important flaw in anti-discriminatory law in 1989. The car manufacturer General Motors had, in the 1970s, let go a wave of black women because they were part of the employees, who had only been hired recently. The women sued, without success. According to the court, the women were not discriminated as women, because there were still women in the offices of the company, who had not been let go. They had also not been discriminated as black people, because the company employed them in its factories. What the judges were not keeping in mind: black women only recently began to be hired in offices by GM – which was the reason why they were let go first.

      The plaintiffs had been exposed to a special form of injustice, their characteristic as women and as black people. Crenshaw compared this to an intersection on which the women were standing and had subsequently been caught in two streams of discriminations at once.

      Are injustices nothing else but products of structures?

      The answer of classical liberalism to this question would be: Here there were two instances, where the universal right to equality of the individual were violated. It was racist that GM did not hire black women for so long. And it was sexist, that the women were only employed in offices. Every reasonable person must recognize this and want to remove these circumstances.

      A different answer comes from Critical Theory, or better, the 21st century reprint of it. According to it, society is full of power structures, which are permanently connected to group characteristics like skin colour, gender and sexual orientation. Depending on which characteristics people fulfil, they belong into a “privileged” group or a “oppressed” group. Men oppress women. White people oppress black people. Heterosexuals oppress homosexuals. Cis people oppress trans people. Fully abled people oppress disabled people. If there are injustices between two such groups, they are nothing but the product of these structures. Herbert Marcuse, a member of the Frankfurt school, claimed in the 1960s that because of these power inequalities people that supported these structures (according to Marcuse; the political right) should not be able to talk with the same tolerance as oppressed groups.

      In the times of the student revolts postmodernism of the French philosopher Michel Foucault became more popular. Many of his followers understood it that way that there was no objective reality, but that the perception of truth depended on the particular position of power in society. Colonialism and relationship of the genders were examples how power influenced knowledge. Systems are still oppressive, even if the individuals are not aware of oppressive behaviour.

      Again liberalism, optimistic to clarify would answer: Correct, as colonialism was based on the thought of superiority of white people against “inferior races”, and the discrimination of women results from the patriarchal misfire that different bodies should result in different social values. But haven’t the western, free societies on the last seven decades not detected theses chauvinisms and have made leaps forward? Racism remains a dangerous problem, but it is socially and juristically despised, women are by law made equal and are partially even supported by quotas. Gay people become heads of state and public officials, and the right to asylum grants oppressed people from the global south protection. Of course, there is more to be done, the liberal society is never finished, but the direction is right.
      Sadly no, says Critical Theory in its newest reprint. Liberalism is not the solution, but part of the problem. It does not recognize the problems in the system, because it itself is an intellectual product of white men, therefore, a power structure. In her in the USA very successful book Critical Race Theory (2012) the lawyer couple Richard Delgado and Jean Stefancic write, that liberalism does not offer the correct frame to solve problems of racism: “Different from traditional civil rights conversation, that (…) focus on step-by-step advancements, Critical Race Theory questions the fundaments of the liberal order itself, including the equality theory, the judicial arguments, the enlightened rationalism and the neutral principal of constitutional law.” You have to read that sentence aloud to yourself sometimes.

      An in America also recognized author is Robin DiAngelo, who landed a New York Times bestseller with White Fragility – Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism in 2018. The book states that “Individualism” is an “Ideology” and white people had to, to reflect on omnipresent racism, always look at themselves as part of their race. DiAngelo also offers “Antiracism” trainings. In one of them for the employees of Coca-Cola, she demands to appear “less white” which also meant: “Be less oppressive, arrogant and ignorant.” Sounds racist? It is of course, except if one thinks such generalizations are legitimate to remove “White supremacy”.

      Political Poison

      Exactly here the political poison lies dormant, a concoction of Critical Theory and Intersectionality. It lets society appear as layers of opposing hostile groups – and every injustice is a consequence of those structures. That is the hot core of so-called identity politics. That is why it suddenly is a problem, if a white Dutch woman translates the book of the black US poet Amanda Gorman, even though when Gorman herself thinks that the translator is a good choice. That is why the peak officials of the SPD2 are “extremely ashamed”, when Wolfgang Thierse (a not that young white man) warns, that identity debates could lead to new trench warfare which destroys the public spirit.

      Skin colour, age, gender, are the basis of the presumption of guilt – from too little sensibility to racism. The clou, with which this kind of thinking is made waterproof is the mentioned idea of white fragility. It says: If white people fight the accusation of being racist, they are simply denying the reality of racism – and thus keeping it alive.

      These already dividing teachings are often directly applied from the USA to Germany, despite the historic, economic and institutional differences. They are taught in seminars, spread in books and shared in editorials. The Critical Race Theory, writes lawyer Cengiz Barskanmaz on the online platform Verfassungsblog [Constitutional blog], can be used to “propagate a racially aware perspective for the German law”. “The interest of law students in Critical Race Theory is definitely high, with rising tendencies.”

      Black people can be missing the right racial awareness, mind you. The German-British sociologist Natasha A. Kelly said in a recent discussion round about a black man from Kiel, who called his restaurant “To the Mohr’s head”3 simply hadn’t been through his “political awareness process” yet. The name of the restaurant remains racist, independent of the viewpoint of the man who named it, because: “It is not an individual thing, that you or me can influence, it’s something in the structures.”

      The structures. They are everywhere, and they are more powerful than the individual and their arguments. It is a to political theory heightened deeply pessimistic, even in parts paranoid, world view. Of course, racism exists, and it makes murderers out of people. After the NSU terrorism, the murders of Hanau and the success of the AfD4 at the voting booth it is only understandable that the fear of the (luckily growing louder) migrant community in Germany is increasing. But who thinks that crime and extremism arise from the “structures” of this country, even from and especially from their immediate surroundings, accuses and alienates their main ally in the fight against racism. Such a rough interpretation of the truth is wrong in the same ways as the right-wing populist projection, Islamist terror comes from the middle of the Muslim community.

      Pauli Murray, a civil rights activist at the side of Martin Luther King, once wrote: “When my brothers draw a circle around me to exclude me, I’ll draw a larger one, to include them. When they talk about the privileges of a weakening group, I’ll talk about the rights of all people.” From this inclusive philosophy this new, dangerous teaching of hostility does not only step back – it draws ever-shrinking circles with thicker and thicker brushes and divides society into more and more groups, which are supposed to oppose each other with more and more hostility. It is time to realize this madness – and stop it.


      Footnotes:

      1 The term transsexual was used here verbatim. I think the term is outdated, but as I am not a professional translator, I was unsure if I should "update" it, as I think a translation should always be as close to the source as possible.

      2 The SPD is the major center-left party in Germany. They have formed the government together with the center right party, the CDU/CSU for decades now, but are fairly unpopular right now.

      3 The word Mohr is a German discriminatory term to refer to black people. I would not put it on the same "pedestal" as the n-word as it is missing the historical weight, but nevertheless it should not be used any more. It still remains in use under the population in some historic remnants like a classic dessert called Mohr im Hemd (Mohr in a shirt) which is a chocolate sponge cake in chocolate sauce served with vanilla ice cream.

      4 The populist rightwing party of Germany. Have gotten enough votes due to the refugee crisis to enter some local state governments and the German federal, but no other party cooperates with them as they are very obviously racist, islamophobic and have in some cases, ties to actual neo nazis.


      Original article: https://www.zeit.de/2021/11/identitaetspolitik-rassismus-soziale-gerechtigkeit-intersektionalitaet/komplettansicht (paywalled, and in German, if we have German people here who'd like to verify my translation, I can give you a copy).

      That marks the end! I hope you liked it and I hope we can have a good discussion about it. I've spend some time translating this so I'll take a break, go shopping and come back to this a bit later to form my own opinion in a separate comment. Be kind to each other!

      28 votes
    39. Does anyone have, or has had, an addiction to music?

      It might sound silly to most, but I have had one for years now. I started to really listen to music on my own volition in the early 2010s when I was in my early 10s, and I was really big into EDM...

      It might sound silly to most, but I have had one for years now.

      I started to really listen to music on my own volition in the early 2010s when I was in my early 10s, and I was really big into EDM at the time (big room house, brostep, electro house, progressive house, etc).

      At some point in 2014 I wanted to expand my tastes so I ended up on rateyourmusic.com which is the kinda place you always end up on at some point if you go down this path the way I see it, and at first I just checked the overall charts and shrugged since it wasn't my kind of music at all (The Beatles, The Beach Boys, Miles Davis, Pink Floyd, The Rolling Stones, Radiohead, etc), but at some point it started bothering me; "why is all that crappy old music so highly regarded?" and I started giving the stuff a try. Didn't like it at all, but I somehow starting feeling compelled to try and understand/appreciate it.

      Eventually, I fell down a sort of rabbit hole when I started reading discussions on how some music is "objectively better" than others and I completely believed it. Pushed around by the extremely harsh disdain towards the EDM I loved and godly praise of the type of thing I just mentioned, I just kinda felt like I was supposed to move on and basically listened to a lot of stuff like that.

      Another while later I eventually realized that the whole "objectively good/bad" thing is one ugly sack of false shit, but I've been really burned out since then, and now I don't even really feel the music I used to like. Problem is, at this point the act of crawling through the charts looking for new music, constantly listening to new stuff, thinking about genres, etc, is so deeply ingrained in my behavior that I can't seem to stop. I have music on at nearly all times, and I force myself to listen to everything in full despite not feeling it at all.

      Something that's also gotten me is the whole repeated listening thing, I've always really loved the idea of being able to enjoy something you initially didn't care for or were lukewarm towards by simply repeatedly listening to it. That also caused me to disregard my own impressions and force myself to repeatedly listen to almost everything. I'm mostly out of that phase now, but I sometimes still find myself digging through random stuff I've given low ratings and listening to it again purely to see if I suddenly like it, but it has literally never even worked once. I also think this has been a contributor to me being burned out on music.

      At this point I kinda feel like I'll never truly enjoy music again like I used to and it's really sad. Sometimes it does return a little, but if have to explain it with a rating, I can't say I've ever really felt anything above a 7/10 again, most of the time it's between a 3/10 and 6/10. I totally realize I just need to take a break, but I simply can't seem to stop (through a lot of effort I have actually managed to take a full break last month, but I immediately relapsed when I resumed this month, and even without that it doesn't seem like it helped all that much). What a lot of people have with things like gaming and food, I basically have with music.

      Does anyone else have anything like this?

      10 votes