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    1. Embarking on this new hobby and a little overwhelmed

      I'm embarking on a new phase in my life and am frankly pretty darned excited about it. My only child is off in college now and I find myself with extra time I didn't used to have. As such, some...

      I'm embarking on a new phase in my life and am frankly pretty darned excited about it. My only child is off in college now and I find myself with extra time I didn't used to have. As such, some younger friends of mine have been reaching out and asking me to join them for "shenanigans" in the form of online video games. Mind you, I haven't played games since the mid 90s, so while this sounds exciting, it also is quite intimidating.

      So far I have gotten my hands on a ROG Ally X. It's a nifty looking handheld that I have been assured would allow me to play a lot of the games my buddies play, but my eyes aren't what they used to be and the screen, however nice, isn't quite big enough for my needs.

      Time to get a dock!

      I was able to find a one for this thing, which is very cool, but now I'm thinking I'm going to drive my wife crazy shouting at the device to talk to my buddies. I assume I need a decent headset, but which one? These things seem to run the range in prices. Do I need it to be wireless?

      Also, I'm guessing it would be good to have some sort of controller so I'm not on top of the screen, again, what fits the middle of the road? Cordless? Do I want a trackpad? Is that even a thing?

      I am overloaded with options.

      Basically, I'm a dad who has discovered he has a lot more time on his hands than he expected and good (and patient) friends who want to spend time with him, but I'm way out of my depth trying to plot a modest path forward (without spending silly money).

      Anyway, thanks for making an old guy coming to the hobby feel welcome!

      24 votes
    2. What creative projects have you been working on?

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on. Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just...

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

      Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

      If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

      8 votes
    3. Question and tip thread for those looking to get into a new hobby

      Sometimes getting into a new hobby can leave you feel like you don't even know where to start. What equipment do you need? What is a good starter project? Are there any safety concerns? What are...

      Sometimes getting into a new hobby can leave you feel like you don't even know where to start. What equipment do you need? What is a good starter project? Are there any safety concerns? What are some of the tricky hurdles to getting started or good tips for getting better?

      This thread is a place to ask questions about a hobby you're interested in and others to give insight. There are no "stupid questions"!

      33 votes
    4. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      7 votes
    5. TV Tuesdays Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      10 votes
    6. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      8 votes
    7. Classic movies

      I feel bored with new movies. I don’t know if it is me or if I feel burnet out on what Hollywood is putting out, either way i don’t feel there is anything new or refreshing. I’ve watched some old...

      I feel bored with new movies. I don’t know if it is me or if I feel burnet out on what Hollywood is putting out, either way i don’t feel there is anything new or refreshing.

      I’ve watched some old movies, such as '12 Angry Men' (1957) which i found incredibly interesting. The entire movie is shot in one room basically and is about a youth charged for a murder and the twelve men in question have to decide if he should be put to a death sentence or not.

      The point about mentioning this movie is that it is something very different than what is put out from Hollywood now. The same goes for 'Oceans Eleven' (1960) with the Rat Pack, which is a very different movie than the reboot from 2001.

      I find older movies has more interesting plots and stories, not that it needs to be from the sixties. It can be from any decade, but I’d like to hear what you think should be on a movie bucketlist!

      Thank you for your time, and I’m excited to watch your recommendations!

      18 votes
    8. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      5 votes
    9. What does emotionally mature comedy look like to you?

      I've given this some thought and I'm still not sure if I'm expressing it the right way. I generally don't like "dumb" entertainment. Having said that, I don't think I'm particularly highbrow or...

      I've given this some thought and I'm still not sure if I'm expressing it the right way.

      I generally don't like "dumb" entertainment. Having said that, I don't think I'm particularly highbrow or pretentious. A quote I refer to often was made in regard to videogames and it aligns very neatly with my philosophy: “If every movie were a porn movie, most people wouldn’t see movies. The majority of games are basically porn—the onus is on [designers] to make more things that are worth a reasonable person’s time.” That's equally applicable to other forms of media as well. You can even argue that various popular mainstream movies/franchises are essentially porn of another type (gun porn, trauma porn, etc.). All of that is to say that I try to look for a level of emotional maturity or sophistication that's beyond cheap gratification.

      In practice, that usually means that my plan-to-watch list has a lot of stuff on the more serious side of the spectrum. However, I enjoy comedy just as much as anyone else. Generally, I like clever, witty comedy and I find that I get that mostly from standup comics, sketch shows, and the rare sitcom - not so much movies. But am I limited by my sense of humor? Does emotionally mature comedy necessarily mean "intellectual"/smart comedy? What comedic films would you present as emotionally mature?

      24 votes
    10. Looking for a low-profile desktop gaming PC

      Main constraint: The space it needs to fit in is 7¾ in (19.7 cm) high. Width and length aren't a concern. Primary use: Gaming. Doesn't need to be top of the line or cutting edge. Most of what I...

      Main constraint: The space it needs to fit in is 7¾ in (19.7 cm) high. Width and length aren't a concern.

      Primary use: Gaming. Doesn't need to be top of the line or cutting edge. Most of what I play isn't very demanding, though I would like the option to play newer stuff if I find something that interests me.

      Budget: Ideally less than $1500, but I do realize that I might have to pay out a bit more because I want something both pre-built and compact. $2000 is the hard limit.

      Important: I am NOT interested in building my own PC. (Yes, I have done it before, including one that was in a compact case that was HELL to get right.)

      Me being uninformed: This might be a silly question, but can I lay desktop towers down on their side? Any traditional tower isn't going to fit, but some of them are thin enough that, if put in landscape instead of portrait, they would. I've read conflicting things about this online, particularly regarding liquid cooling and airflow.

      If anyone has any recommendations, I'd appreciate it!

      19 votes
    11. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like us senate, viktor orban and knowledge management. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like us senate, viktor orban and knowledge management. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was mystified.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      11 votes
    12. How can I organize and store my cables?

      I have two giant drawers right now that are complete rats’ nests. Cables of every kind and type, all mixed together. You can’t tell where one cable ends and another begins. It is at the point...

      I have two giant drawers right now that are complete rats’ nests. Cables of every kind and type, all mixed together. You can’t tell where one cable ends and another begins.

      It is at the point where I recently needed a cable that I know that I have, but it was easier and less stressful to just order a new one than try to find it in the mess.

      Ideally, I’d have cables that are neatly organized, not tangled together, easily identifiable, and space efficient, but I honestly have no idea how to make this happen.

      Anyone have any tips?

      20 votes
    13. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      4 votes
    14. Share the contents of an old file you've got lying around

      Share some digital clutter from one of your hard drives -- something from a LONG time ago. For example: a to-do list, poetry, a script you wrote, a PowerPoint presentation, etc. Give us the date...

      Share some digital clutter from one of your hard drives -- something from a LONG time ago. For example: a to-do list, poetry, a script you wrote, a PowerPoint presentation, etc.

      Give us the date the file was created/modified.

      And, if you so choose, give us context on the file (but if you'd rather let it speak for itself, feel free!).

      41 votes
    15. I've always found the common approach that websites take to changing the email associated with an account iffy but I am not sure if I am wrong

      I have changed my email more than once, just as part of customizing my online identity and all that. and that obviously required me to login into any accounts I had and updating the email...

      I have changed my email more than once, just as part of customizing my online identity and all that.

      and that obviously required me to login into any accounts I had and updating the email associated with them.

      the most common workflow I have found is
      login -> navigate to settings page -> edit the email field to the new email -> go to the inbox for the new email -> click confirm on confirmation email

      then you can go to that website and do the forgot password, provide your email and change the password and get complete control.

      I have always found that workflow weird cause it's the most prevalent one I have come across and seems so susceptible to tampering.

      if someone leaves their laptop unattended for 3-4 minutes in public while visiting a bathroom (which happened often in the library of my university), there was nothing preventing me from going to their Facebook or whatever account they had open on their computer, changing the email to my own email and then clicking confirm on my inbox once I am back at my desk.

      and most people don't have 2FA so that would effectively give me control of their account.
      Hell, my university once had a potential data breach and they were 99.999% sure the data was not actually accessed by a malicious actor but still sent a mass email saying that they were advising everyone to change their passwords. a classmate of mine in the software systems program's attitude was basically "oh well, who cares?" and I just facepalmed internally.

      there are maybe 3 websites I have come across that instead first send a confirmation email to your current inbox and after you confirm on that, then you get a confirmation email on the new email inbox. which isn't perfect but I feel like it's a bit more sensical and the best you can do without involving 2FA.

      even then, that's also susceptible to the situation I described above if the user is always logged into their email.

      I find it odd that websites don't prompt for a password as part of the email update process (or better yet 2FA with an app as even prompting for a password isn't a guarantee if the user has the password manager as an extension in their browser and they recently unlocked it before leaving their session unattended) to ensure that email changes are always done by the account owner.

      16 votes
    16. Why is Cloudflare trusted with encryption?

      I am a big fan of Cloudflare Tunnels, it's let me muck about with quite a few low risk apps and it's been fun. one thing that's always bothered me though is the SSL setup. According to their...

      I am a big fan of Cloudflare Tunnels, it's let me muck about with quite a few low risk apps and it's been fun.

      one thing that's always bothered me though is the SSL setup.

      According to their website, only enterprise users are allowed to manage their own TLS private keys.

      I can kinda understand the logic behind free accounts not having that perk.

      But if you are someone who really doesn't like cloudflare reading your traffic or you are a business, it seems odd to me that it's not being demanded of cloudflare that they make it more available for paid users to not expose their TLS private keys to cloudflare.

      Why are so many folks OK with cloudflare essentially being able to read all their traffic?

      or am I overestimating how many people are using the Pro and Business account? is the majority of their users just Free or Enterprise?

      24 votes
    17. What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga)

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was...

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

      If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

      13 votes
    18. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like lego.island, 2025 iran israel war and the onion. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like lego.island, 2025 iran israel war and the onion. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was puzzled.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      9 votes
    19. Question about REST APIS and encryption

      So I am finally starting the process of designing a personal website that can help manage and organize my finances for me. So obviously, the security of such data is paramount and for the heck of...

      So I am finally starting the process of designing a personal website that can help manage and organize my finances for me.

      So obviously, the security of such data is paramount and for the heck of it, I want to design a webapp where it doesn't operate by the rules of "trust me bro" even though I will be the one designing it and most likely will be the only one ever to use it. Just want that experience of proper encryption setup.

      Also, even if I am the one operating it, I'd like to set it up so that even if the database is compromised, none of my information is.

      skip to bottom if you want to just see my 2 question

      Did some reading online, between reading when StandardNotes does encryption as well as how it does it and some basic reading into encryption

      and the importance of not having a local unencrypted database like Joplin does

      So all that got me curious how Google encrypts the user data it has and would up reading

      and the basic take-aways seem to be:

      • utilize encryption on a field before storing it in a database so that even if the machine gets compromised, the data won't be
      • if you want to go even further, take the approach of StandardNotes, where it seems even the web server itself never touched unencrypted data it seems? Looks like all the encrypting and decrypting happens locally and only encrypted data is sent to the server
      1. But that got me curious. It can't be argued that Google is not secure. they have the best minds working there to ensure just that. and yet its also well known that their respect for user privacy is non-existent. Which means that they've made sure to protect the data [email, google searches, google docs, google maps history] from hackers but they can themselves decrypt at least some user data for the purpose of data collection and selling ads.
        But if Google can decrypt the data and that implies they store the keys on a server from what I can tell from my reading, how it is protected if someone malicious gains access to the database? If that person got access to the database and the keys that Google uses to decrypt the data, wouldn't that compromise the data?

      2. if I decide to design my webapp so that all the encrypting and decrypting happens locally, that means that if I were to decide to create a REST API for my application, that would also have to be taking in data in encrypted format, no? Cause if that takes it in plaintext, that means that my webserver would have to be responsible for encryption, which it needs the keys to do that with and if it can encrypt with keys it has access to, then it can decrypt too, no? or are websites that deal with encrypted databases and have REST APIs that can take in plain text information generally coded to be using asymmetric encryption? meaning its different keys being used for encryption and decryption? Or is API Token the key in an encrypted format? or have I misunderstood the whole thing?

      16 votes
    20. What programming/technical projects have you been working on?

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's...

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

      16 votes
    21. Advice on 6 year old's trantrums?

      tl;dr - Is it normal for 6 year olds to randomly start throwing massive tantrums. My son up to this point has been very mild mannered and not prone to getting upset. But the last few weeks have...

      tl;dr - Is it normal for 6 year olds to randomly start throwing massive tantrums. My son up to this point has been very mild mannered and not prone to getting upset. But the last few weeks have been insane.

      My son (6) has been going through something that is just really challenging the heck out of me. It started a few weeks ago when we were getting ready to leave for trip to visit family a few states away. He complained that his stomach hurt and began sobbing and begging to take a bath. So we accommodated and let him take 3 baths in a single day because we figured he just wasn't feeling well. We scheduled a doctor's appointment and the doctor just suggested a bland diet for a day and see how it plays out. After that he didn't really seem to have any issues, so we went ahead with our trip.

      The hours-long drive didn't seem to faze him at all and we arrived safe and sound, despite a heavy rainstorm on the way. Over the course of the trip, every time we tried to drive somewhere to meet up with family, he'd claim he was sick and if we pushed on it, he'd throw a tantrum. Which is very unlike him, to be clear. And anytime we weren't talking about a car ride, he was acting pretty normal. We thought maybe it was anxiety from the drive there? The rainstorm was very intense at times, and I can see how that could be incredibly scary for a kid.

      We spent the rest of the trip hyping him up for the drive home. My wife and I both have anxiety disorders, so we tried to help him understand that we knew how he felt and offered some advice (in a 6yo friendly way, to the best of our abilities). We also maintained a relatively bland diet for him in case he actually was feeling sick. But anyway we were absolutely dreading the ride home.

      Just getting him and his sister in the car proved to be the absolute worst day of my parenting life. He threw the tantrum of tantrums, which set his sister off and she kept trying to escape from the car. Meanwhile it was 90F+ outside and our car's AC doesn't really kick in until you start driving. I was hot, upset, angry, scared, frustrated and just not operating at peak parental power. There was a lot of yelling, a lot of trying to hold them into their seats so I could buckle them, and all of it obviously just made the situation worse. I really fucked it up and I'm still trying to work through it all.

      Long story short, we ended up separating him and his sister, with him driving home with us and his sister driving home with my parents. Once his sister was out of the car, he calmed down and we were able to leave. The plan was to just drive off and get some gas, let them both calm down, then pick her back up.

      I had to go on a work trip shortly after that trip, so I was away for most last week. In that time my wife didn't try to take the kids anywhere, for fear of having a repeat incident, but solo and outnumbered by the kids. When I got back I started trying to hype my son up for the car ride to his and his sister's 6th birthday party the next day. He tried to negotiate saying maybe we could just walk instead of drive. I explained, "no it's a short car ride, but we couldn't walk there".

      When the time came to take him to the party, he threw a tantrum, but I redirected using my car's remote start fob (he really liked that) and I talked him down a bit. The ride to the party was fine, as was the return trip. Then yesterday we did a trip to Gamestop so he could pick out a birthday present for himself and again the trip both ways was fine (with zero tantrum!). Although he has yet to get in the car with his sister since we got back from our trip a few weeks back and he has specifically called out not wanting to be in the car with her.

      BUT the last two nights he's started throwing the exact same type of tantrums at bedtime, claiming he can only sleep in our bed and he's sick and his legs hurt and all these other things. When told no, he screams bloody murder, starts kicking and hitting, and it's really difficult for me to handle that. The tantrums of course set his sister off and then we have two 6yo twins feeding off each other's sadness and anger like two colliding hurricanes.

      Is this just normal 6 year old stuff? I know they're still learning to regulate emotions and so maybe that's it? His sister went through something like this a few months ago, but it was exclusively about bedtime. She'd throw massive tantrums at bedtime while he'd just quietly go to bed. So that kind of reinforces that this is just a growth spurt of some sort? But I'm getting concerned it's something else, but I don't know what?

      29 votes
    22. What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga)

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was...

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

      If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

      12 votes
    23. Formula 1 Austrian Grand Prix 2025 - Race Weekend Discussion

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Austrian Grand Prix
      Red Bull Ring
      June 27-29, 2025


      Grand Prix Qualifying:
      Saturday, June 28, 2025 - 14:00 UTC / 10:00a US EDT

      Grand Prix:
      Sunday, June 29, 2025 - 13:00 UTC / 9:00a US EDT

      See your local times here


      Grand Prix Qualifying Results -- SPOILER
      POS. NO. DRIVER TEAM Q1 Q2 Q3 LAPS
      1 4 #Lando Norris #McLaren 1:04.672 1:04.410 1:03.971 18
      2 16 #Charles Leclerc #Ferrari 1:05.197 1:04.734 1:04.492 21
      3 81 #Oscar Piastri #McLaren 1:04.966 1:04.556 1:04.554 19
      4 44 #Lewis Hamilton #Ferrari 1:05.115 1:04.896 1:04.582 21
      5 63 #George Russell #Mercedes 1:05.189 1:04.860 1:04.763 18
      6 30 #Liam Lawson #Racing Bulls 1:05.017 1:05.041 1:04.926 17
      7 1 #Max Verstappen #Red Bull Racing 1:05.106 1:04.836 1:04.929 18
      8 5 #Gabriel Bortoleto #Kick Sauber 1:05.123 1:04.846 1:05.132 21
      9 12 #Kimi Antonelli #Mercedes 1:05.178 1:05.052 1:05.276 17
      10 10 #Pierre Gasly #Alpine 1:05.054 1:04.846 1:05.649 21
      11 14 #Fernando Alonso #Aston Martin 1:05.197 1:05.128 14
      12 23 #Alexander Albon #Williams 1:05.143 1:05.205 18
      13 6 #Isack Hadjar #Racing Bulls 1:05.063 1:05.226 12
      14 43 #Franco Colapinto #Alpine 1:05.278 1:05.288 15
      15 87 #Oliver Bearman #Haas 1:05.218 1:05.312 15
      16 18 #Lance Stroll #Aston Martin 1:05.329 9
      17 31 #Esteban Ocon #Haas 1:05.364 9
      18 22 #Yuki Tsunoda #Red Bull Racing 1:05.369 6
      19 55 #Carlos Sainz #Williams 1:05.582 12
      20 27 #Nico Hulkenberg #Kick Sauber 1:05.606 9

      Source: F1.com

      Grand Prix Results -- SPOILER
      POS. NO. DRIVER TEAM LAPS TIME / RETIRED PTS.
      1 4 #Lando Norris #McLaren 70 1:23:47.693 25
      2 81 #Oscar Piastri #McLaren 70 +2.695s 18
      3 16 #Charles Leclerc #Ferrari 70 +19.820s 15
      4 44 #Lewis Hamilton #Ferrari 70 +29.020s 12
      5 63 #George Russell #Mercedes 70 +62.396s 10
      6 30 #Liam Lawson #Racing Bulls 70 +67.754s 8
      7 14 #Fernando Alonso #Aston Martin 69 +1 lap 6
      8 5 #Gabriel Bortoleto #Kick Sauber 69 +1 lap 4
      9 27 #Nico Hulkenberg #Kick Sauber 69 +1 lap 2
      10 31 #Esteban Ocon #Haas 69 +1 lap 1
      11 87 #Oliver Bearman #Haas 69 +1 lap 0
      12 6 #Isack Hadjar #Racing Bulls 69 +1 lap 0
      13 10 #Pierre Gasly #Alpine 69 +1 lap 0
      14 18 #Lance Stroll #Aston Martin 69 +1 lap 0
      15 43 #Franco Colapinto #Alpine 69 +1 lap 0
      16 22 #Yuki Tsunoda #Red Bull Racing 68 +2 laps 0
      NC 23 #Alexander Albon #Williams 15 DNF 0
      NC 1 #Max Verstappen #Red Bull Racing 0 DNF 0
      NC 12 #Kimi Antonelli #Mercedes 0 DNF 0
      NC 55 #Carlos Sainz #Williams 0 DNS 0

      Fastest Lap: Oscar Piatri // 1:07.924 on lap 59
      DOTD: Gabriel Bortoleto

      Source: F1.com


      Next race:

      British Grand Prix
      Silverstone Circuit
      Sunday, July 6, 2025

      6 votes
    24. I need helping figure out why the Hard Disk Drive BBS priorities keeps changing

      I have this Motherboard with 3 hard drives. I want the order to be P2 Windows P5 and I have set that order many times, but for reasons I can't figure out, every once in a while, the order changes...

      I have this Motherboard with 3 hard drives. I want the order to be

      • P2
      • Windows
      • P5

      and I have set that order many times, but for reasons I can't figure out, every once in a while, the order changes like you can see in this screenshot or other times, P5 somehow becomes the first option.

      I can't figure out how to fix this?

      11 votes
    25. How can I find some Brazilian mailing lists I was a part of in mid-1990s?

      This is probably a very long shot. I was part of quite a few maling lists / email groups back in the 1990s in Brazil. Lists for things like writing, The X-Files, Star Trek, or skepticism. I made a...

      This is probably a very long shot. I was part of quite a few maling lists / email groups back in the 1990s in Brazil. Lists for things like writing, The X-Files, Star Trek, or skepticism. I made a few friends. I know some of them were probably hosted on large foreign companies like Yahoo. I don't remember the actual names of the lists, and the internet provider where I had my email no longer exists. So I don't expect to find them easily, but I imagine that there must be some kind of archive where they may or may not exist. I'm okay with sifting through for a very long time if I have to. That may be facilitated by the fact that the Brazilian internet was fairly small back then. And I do remember possible usernames I might have used at the time, which I can use in a search.

      Is what I want possible at all? Is there some kind of centralized archive that is easy for me to use?

      Thanks!

      16 votes
    26. DnD 5e approach to describing executive function

      I was recently thinking of a new way to describe to my spouse (and to myself) how my mind works when it comes to performing tasks. This is a regularly occuring conversation, as her needs and mine...

      I was recently thinking of a new way to describe to my spouse (and to myself) how my mind works when it comes to performing tasks. This is a regularly occuring conversation, as her needs and mine often run counter to each other and leave us both frustrated. I have trouble understanding even my own reactions to things, let alone hers, so I try to explain them in new terms occasionally to see if it makes things click.

      Anyway, I came up with one that I found apt and kinda fun, if maybe a bit sad in places: a DnD 5e character sheet. For the purposes of this exercise, the sheet is for a sorcerer, not a wizard (learning new tasks happens slowly, almost at random) and the Frustration mechanic is effectively identical to Exhaustion in the PHB.

      Here it is. I'm curious if any of you have thoughts on this or find it feeling familiar.

      Spell list:

      Cantrips:

      Relax
      Read
      Eat
      Get ready for bed ¹

      1st level:

      Choose to go to bed ²
      Get ready to leave
      Choose a meal
      Prepare a meal
      Work on dishes
      Take out trash
      Do laundry
      Other chores
      Do a favor (unasked)*

      2nd level:

      Do a favor (asked)*
      Stifle frustration ³

      3rd level:

      Do a big favor (asked)*
      Dismiss frustration ⁴

      Feat - People Pleaser: When casting "Do a favor (unasked)", roll a d20. On a 15 or higher, cast as a cantrip instead. When casting "Do a favor (asked)", roll a d20. On a 5 or lower, add 1 level of frustration. When casting "Do a big favor (asked)", roll a d20. On a 10 or lower, add 1 level of frustration.

      Feat - Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures: Regenerate 1 spell slot of any level. Add 1 level of frustration.

      Feat - Self Soothe: whenever casting a cantrip, roll a d20. On a 19 or 20, remove 1 level of frustration.

      Curse - Temper: whenever casting a spell of 1st level or higher, roll a d20 with advantage. On a 2 or lower, add a level of frustration.

      Curse - Social Anxiety: when interacting with another character, roll a d20. On a 5 or lower, burn 1 spell slot or add 1 level of frustration.

      ¹ Must be cast on the turn following casting "Choose to go to bed." Otherwise, this becomes a 1st level spell.

      ² After casting this spell, any spell other than a cantrip must be cast one level higher than usual (e.g., 1st level spells can only be cast using 2nd level spell slots).

      ³ Temporarily remove 1 level of frustration. It returns after d20X10 minutes.

      ⁴ Permanently remove 1 level of frustration.

      23 votes
    27. What creative projects have you been working on?

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on. Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just...

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

      Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

      If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

      9 votes
    28. If you were referred to with an Epithet, what would it be?

      The Great, The Lionheart, Our Lady of the Grackles, Olaf the Holy, Athena Glaukopis (grey-eyed), Emperor Youngzheng (meaning The Just/Justified), Amenhotep the Magnificent, Solomon the Wise,...

      The Great, The Lionheart, Our Lady of the Grackles, Olaf the Holy, Athena Glaukopis (grey-eyed), Emperor Youngzheng (meaning The Just/Justified), Amenhotep the Magnificent, Solomon the Wise, Much-Enduring Odysseus, The King of Pop, The Sultan of Swat, the Iron Lady, and perhaps for someone, Couch Potato are all epithets. For folks unfamiliar with the term, an epithet is a descriptive word or phrase that accompanies or replaces the name of a person. (Before surnames this was often used too just not passed down, with some of the occupational ones "the Smith" turning into surnames "Smith"

      Sometimes it's used to distinguish Charles the Fat from Charles the Bald, or just to tell people you think they're Great (or Terrible), but it wouldn't be the same as just calling Charles bald today, it's how you actually refer to him. Homer used it a lot, and so did Shakespeare. And it has continued through the present with Oz the Great and Powerful, The Man of Steel, and King James.

      So, my fellow Tildis, if you were to have one, what would be your epithet? Feel free to choose one that you want or share what you think others would call you. Or ask for others to give you an appellation directly if you so desire!

      25 votes
    29. Post graduation job search

      Well, I have a lot of stuff going on. In May, I graduated with my Bachelor's degree in Computer Science. That was good, and I was glad to do so. After that I took a short well deserved break. It...

      Well, I have a lot of stuff going on.

      In May, I graduated with my Bachelor's degree in Computer Science. That was good, and I was glad to do so. After that I took a short well deserved break. It feels so good not to have to go to class and listen to a lecture from a lecturer who doesn't want to be there.

      Now that I have my degree, I need to find a job that uses that degree. (or any thing remotely related) That may sound simple enough, but it is tough.

      I don't know what I want to do with my degree. That's hard for me to say, but it's true. Like I have always been looked at as someone who was "smart" and "had it together" or "had a straight path". Very much not. Anyway, I don't know what all that degree qualifies me for. I know it opens me up to the development field. I did a lot of programming through college and between, but it's not something I really enjoy. I am not particularly bad at it. It just not something I really want to be doing 100% of the time all the time. Then there is the IT field. I am not so sure where I really would like to go in IT though. Support is not really an ideal place for me. I am terrified of the idea of having to talk on a phone. I can do in person support better. Then there is infrastructure. I am kinda interested in infrastructure, but it is huge. I don't even know what to look for in that area. I am just a kid with a CS degree, I don't have this figured out.

      I live in the middle of nowhere. or at least it feels like it (rural central Arkansas) You have to really look at the next city over for anything. Even then most things I see are out of the capital. There is nothing bad about any of this. I got my degree in the next city over, drove there every day. The capital is only 40 - 50 minutes away.

      It feels like everyone wants to see experience. Either directly or indirectly. This is hard for me. I don't have any professional experience at all. I have some personal projects I have worked on. I do have those listed in my resume. I don't feel that helps that much. I spent my time getting that degree, not working.

      Family is troublesome. In many many ways. They are always like "you need to get a job", "have you found anything yet", "are you filling out a job application". Like please leave me alone about this. I am doing what I am doing. You don't have to know every single thing about me. I am me, not you. Troublesome and frustrating. Another thing is they are stuck in the past. Two of them are going deaf. One of them is nuts, and does not know how to respect privacy at all. Its a lot. It leaves me with an annoying bootstrapping problem I have to solve. I still live with my parents, with my grandparents next house over. I have to get a place that is away from family. To do that I need to get a job. To really look hard, and even want to do so and not just do some and get frustrated, I need to get away from family. There are solutions. Just go elsewhere and look for stuff. Not easy when they always want to know where you are all the damn time. Always wanting you to keep them updated and know where you are. I have a few tricks, location services is very inaccurate when wifi is turned off. I also can just say "I am going somewhere", and when they ask more I just say "I am 23 blooming years old". Not the kind of trouble I want to go through all time. Family is frustrating. Even more so, when you are an introvert and just want to be alone for a while. When you get into actually doing something, they come to you to ask about something. "do you know where this [item] is?", "I need you to do this [task]". It's like they can sense when you are actually focus or are just vibing or actually happy. They go on and complain that you snap at them. When they were the ones that were interrupting a rare moment of focus, or appear out of nowhere. Annoying to say the least. Never the one to actually win. By default, "I am older and know more then you", "I gave birth to you". Saying I am in trouble when I do nothing wrong. Like when I got in trouble for going to my grandparents house early in the morning during the summer. Lost all trust that summer. Or when I shared some cinnamon rolls that I bought with my grandparents. Got into trouble for not bringing my parents any. It was just a kind gesture and I am made to feel like I don't care about anybody over it. Troublesome and difficult.

      If you just read all that, thanks. I promise I am decently put together in real life. That is rawer then I would usually like to put out.

      So far I still don't have a good title for this post so I guess I'll just add some more.
      I have not found anything yet. I have not applied to many places yet. I did apply to a regional ISP and got an interview, but was rejected for lack of work history to show I can deal with phone support, and for potential lack of clarity. I applied to a local audio cable manufacturer, but was caught by ats or lack of checking. Actually applied to their website for that one. I have asked some of the local Facebook groups "who was hiring locally in CS / IT fields". I got a few responses from it. A pyramid scheme. Someone who would look at their employer. They didn't have anything open, but at least they have my information now. Someone who is likely looking more so for a general laborer then an IT person. I still kinda want to hear them out, but they still haven't said anything else to me. I have brushed up my LinkedIn. I have also signed up for more accounts then I would have liked. I have talked with a local employment agency, but I don't think they will find anything like what I am looking for.

      Well, its a process, and I am just at the beginning. If you do have any advice for my job search I would be glad to read it.

      TLDR: Dotz graduated and is looking for a job, then rants about family.

      30 votes
    30. Any experience with GLG consulting?

      I had heard about GLG a while ago and I was just approached by someone from GLG for a project. Does anyone have experience working with them specifically? I have never done any paid consulting...

      I had heard about GLG a while ago and I was just approached by someone from GLG for a project. Does anyone have experience working with them specifically? I have never done any paid consulting gigs and I want to make sure I understand what I'm getting into.

      Thanks!

      10 votes
    31. I need advice, which laptop would you buy now?

      I would like to upgrade my aged 8 years old laptop and I'm completely undecided about which laptop to buy right now. I considered Apple Intel laptops terrible, bad thermals, overpriced,...

      I would like to upgrade my aged 8 years old laptop and I'm completely undecided about which laptop to buy right now.

      I considered Apple Intel laptops terrible, bad thermals, overpriced, unreliable, touch bar (uggg), I hated every second working on it, when the company I work for upgraded me with a M1, it was such a huge improvement from any laptop I have ever tried, absolutely no noise, incredibly performant and the longest battery life of any laptop by a lot.

      I still don't like the Apple ecosystem, and I would prefer to use Linux as my main OS, but I can't find anything that comes even closer for the price of a Mac Air, If I go with Framework I'll get a less performant machine with a way worse battery, I honestly don't think the premium on repairability is worth for me when I don't have any issues repairing more challenging laptops, at the end repairability will be how easy is to get new parts.

      ThinkPads have good reputation and repairability, but for what I see, the quality has gone down the drain in their latest models, and if I go with their premium models I get similar performance to Apple with worse battery, Dell has similar issues.

      Gaming laptops are not an option, I don't do any PC gaming and the size and aesthetics are a dealbreaker for me.

      The main issue seems to be that until ARM processors become better competitors to Apple, the battery life will be always the bottleneck, and I don't know how good the new Snapdragon X Elite compares right now.

      Besides web development, photography edition and video editing (4k), I don't do many demanding tasks, I'm more than fine with the performance of a M1 as the baseline.

      As an alternative, I'm thinking about getting a powerful desktop for the demanding tasks and a less powerful laptop with a good battery and screen, but ideally I would prefer a single machine.

      43 votes
    32. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      4 votes
    33. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      4 votes
    34. Follow up on the username thread: What Tildes users do you recognize when browsing and, without being rude or inflammatory, what is your impression of them?

      It only now just occurred to me after reading the username thread that people actually recognize each other on Tildes by username. I certainly recognize a few of the "big" usernames but otherwise...

      It only now just occurred to me after reading the username thread that people actually recognize each other on Tildes by username. I certainly recognize a few of the "big" usernames but otherwise I kind of have username blindness. I was absolutely shocked to see someone tag me and more shocked to see that someone remembered even a single thing I had ever posted.

      I'll start:

      @cfabbro is pretty on top of things around here. Super knowledgeable about various topics and a stickler for the rules in a really positive way that demonstrates their love for the community and their desire to keep it special. One of the most important Tilderinos (or Tildos, which is my personal favorite that someone suggested a while back). Thanks for all that you do, and if you're the one who has to go though and fix my god-awful tags then a double thanks and a sincere apology.

      @boxer_dogs_dance, like cfabbro has a very wide range of interests and is quick to share interesting tidbits of information that a lot of people may not know. I think I have disagreed cordially with boxerdogs a few times maybe? But I have a good impression of them overall.

      @deimos is a bit like God, which I think works on multiple levels. The highest power, behind-the-scenes, hard to prove his existence. I have a conspiracy theory that he uses alt accounts to participate anonymously, which I think would be a really smart thing to do. Joking aside, I think Tildes' resiliency and ability to maintain its small town vibe while being quite large is due mostly to his political/philosophical genius. The guiding principles for this site and moderation style have made this a pretty awesome place to be. Case in point: The few times I saw people complain about Tildes' moderation on other websites, I was able to immediately see why that person wasn't a good fit here. They were people who didn't even understand that they were being antisocial or were playing coy when they knew exactly what they were doing. Keeping Tildes more or less free of that stuff is one of the greatest internet achievements I've ever seen.

      61 votes
    35. TV Tuesdays Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      9 votes
    36. User-friendly and privacy-friendly LLM experience?

      I've been thinking perhaps I'll need to get one of the desktop LLM UI. I've been out of touch with the state of the art of end user LLM as I've been exclusively using it via API, but tech-y people...

      I've been thinking perhaps I'll need to get one of the desktop LLM UI. I've been out of touch with the state of the art of end user LLM as I've been exclusively using it via API, but tech-y people (who are not developers) mostly talk about the end-user products that I lack the knowledge of.

      Ethical problems aside, the problem with non-API usage is, even if you pay, I can't find one that have better privacy policy than API. And the problem with API version is that it is not as good as the completed apps unless you want to reinvent the wheel. The apps also may include ads in the future, while API technically cannot as it would affect some downstream usecases.

      Provider Data Retention (API) Data Retention (Consumer) UI-only features
      ChatGPT Plus 30 days, no training Training opt-out, 30 days for temp. chat, unknown retention otherwise Voice, Canvas, Image generation in chat, screensharing, Mobile app
      Google AI Pro 0 72 hours if you disable history, or up to 3 years and trained upon otherwise Android assistant, Canvas, AI in Google Drive/Docs, RAG (NotebookLM), Podcast generation, Browser use (Mariner), Coding (Gemini CLI), Screensharing
      Gemini in Google Workspace See above 0-18 months, but no human review/training See above
      Claude Pro 30 days Up to 2 years (no training without opt-in) Coding, Artifact, Desktop app, RAG, MCP

      As a dual use technology, the table doesn't include the extra retention period if they detect an abuse. Additionally, if you click on thumbs up/down it may also be recorded for the provider's employee to review.

      I don't think OpenWebUI, self hosted models, etc. would suffice if they are not built to the same quality as the first party products. I know I'm probably asking for something that doesn't exists here, but at least I hope it will bring to people's attention that even if you're paying for the product you might not get the same privacy protection as API users.

      15 votes
    37. Satisfiers vs maximizers

      Id never heard the terms satisfier or maximizer til I was having a discussion with my then girlfriend about the difference in the way we select things. The difference became apparent when she...

      Id never heard the terms satisfier or maximizer til I was having a discussion with my then girlfriend about the difference in the way we select things. The difference became apparent when she wanted to buy a new lawnmower. We walked into a big box store, she looked at a row of 10 mowers and said "I want that one" pointing at the second one. Being a maximizer I thought she meant that was her first choice out of the 10 options here but obviously we had two more stores and many more options to check out.

      Nope.

      She meant she had looked them over in 2 minutes and THAT mower was her final choice.

      I honestly was quite surprised. "You don't wanna shop around? Compare features? Compare prices?" No, that's not what satisfiers do. Satisfiers just find the first thing that satisfies their needs and go with it.

      Which is why my wife can select anything and everything very quickly and I end up making a spreadsheet to do a thorough cost benefit analysis on anything important. I even had one when I was dating for every woman I went out for coffee. And fortunately, she didn't - she just started reverse alphabetically and since my username was near the end of the alphabet I won the luck of the draw.

      And here we are happily celebrating our 15th anniversary next week. Who says you gotta be the same to be compatible lol?

      Are you a satisfier or a maximizer?

      43 votes
    38. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      4 votes
    39. Passkey vs smart use of passwords

      I went down the path of thinking about switching to Passkeys but it seems like more hassle than it is worth, so I hoped this community could tell me if I am crazy. I use Bitwarden to generate and...

      I went down the path of thinking about switching to Passkeys but it seems like more hassle than it is worth, so I hoped this community could tell me if I am crazy.

      I use Bitwarden to generate and save passwords for anything important and always use an authentication app when the option is present. I never use the same password. Sadly, most Canadian banks are awful and only allow SMS 2FA if anything at all. That said, of the two banks I primarily use, one does allow an authentication app and the other uses its own app to send authentication codes.

      I always read that Passkeys are better for people who are lazy/bad with their passwords. For someone like me, is the security practically the same or is there still some benefit to switching everything I can to Passkeys?

      31 votes
    40. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      5 votes
    41. Experience on Mastodon

      When Musk bought Twitter and "unleashed free speech" on the platform, it made me curious about other social media platforms, specifically one where data and privacy are much more respected. That...

      When Musk bought Twitter and "unleashed free speech" on the platform, it made me curious about other social media platforms, specifically one where data and privacy are much more respected.

      That inevitably lead me to mastodon. I opened an account and all that, but I must be doing it wrong, or maybe mastodon just isn't what I want it to be.

      I don't really know who or what to follow on there that would create an experience that draws me in.

      In fairness, it could just be that I am not following interesting accounts but I follow 7 accounts

      • grapheneOS which is just updates about their O.S.
      • Daniel Micay who hasn't posted in a loooong time
      • James Gunn rarely posts
      • nixCraft is just memes

      and the rest are just news outlets like Ars Technica, Electronic Frontier Foundation and Propublica, which ain't bad but like, they post links to long-form articles, which isn't really what you are really looking for if you are just doing a light skim of your feed for a quick 5 minutes.

      Are interesting folks not on mastodon? or I am just not following the right accounts? Im interested in tech stuff and social issues and some politics (but not much cause that can get doom scrolly fast)

      25 votes
    42. Tildes Book Club discussion - May 2025 - A People's Future of the United States

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      This is the fourteenth of an ongoing series of book discussions here on Tildes. We are discussing A People's Future of the United States. Our next book will be A House with Good Bones by Kingfisher at the end of June

      This was our first collection of short stories. Please feel free to discuss any story you read regardless of whether you finished the collection.

      I don't have a particular format in mind for this discussion, but I will post some prompts and questions as comments to get things started. You're not obligated to respond to them or vote on them though. So feel free to make your own top-level comment for whatever you wish to discuss, questions you have of others, or even just to post a review of the book you have written yourself.

      For latecomers, don't worry if you didn't read the book in time for this Discussion topic. You can always join in once you finish it. Tildes Activity sort, and "Collapse old comments" feature should keep the topic going for as long as people are still replying.
      And for anyone uninterested in this topic please use the Ignore Topic feature on this so it doesn't keep popping up in your Activity sort, since it's likely to keep doing that while I set this discussion up, and once people start joining in.

      8 votes