I don't usually write things like this, but I'm having difficulty and think I need to get it out. I had to put down my dog Willow on Monday (two days ago, as of writing), and I am not okay.

This is not the first pet I've lost. Several childhood pets, but those weren't really mine, they were my parents', and so I didn't have the same level of responsibility over the animal as I did with Willow.

Even of my pets, this is not the first loss. In 2022, I adopted a retired working dog Yukon and an elderly cat Gomez. We lost Yukon in May 2024 (aspiration pneumonia due to megaesophagus) and Gomez in May 2025 (renal failure). The renal failure was a prolonged decline, and so while we tried to manage the disease we had some time to come to terms with things. The pneumonia was very fast decline and more of a shock. I loved them both, but this now feels much worse. I guess because I only really knew them 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 years respectively. I feel guilty about that, like it shouldn't matter and I should have grieved for them the same, but I don't.

This was the first pet that was mine, in the sense that my wife and I have had full responsibility for her the entire 10 years we've had her. She was the best behaved dog I've ever had. Always by my side at home. Especially when I worked from home during/after Covid lockdowns I took her with me wherever I could. Loyal. I just killed her.

Well, I didn't do it, we took her to a vet and they did typical euthanasia. It doesn't feel like the difference matters.

Willow also had renal failure, which we learned about at stage 3 (already severe) in January. The past few months have brought back a lot of pain about Gomez since it was the same disease. Realistically, the fact she made it all the way to May still walking on her own is remarkable. Meals have been challenging for the past month or so. Since late last week she refused to eat, and her condition deteriorated quickly over the weekend. We knew this was coming, but childishly it somehow felt like she'd just keep going forever because she'd been doing so well. Of course that's not how it works, but I guess it's easier to imagine that things are normal.

I think we gave her the best final day we could. We took her to the same pet stores, park, restaurants we used to take her to when she was in her prime. I got her some drive-thru chicken nuggets, her favorite, and she actually ate all of them! She must have been hungry. I want to believe I could have kept feeding her fast food for a few more days or weeks or months, but I know it's simply not true. She moved slow, but still walked on her own at the park and pet store. By the time we arrived at the vet she seemed satisfied, tired, and ready for a nap.

I don't know.

As I say, I've done this before and I roughly know the "usual" advice about grief and how it seems to work for me. My wife and I support each other. We still have other pets, and it helps a little to hold them. Enduring a death the same month three years in a row is taking its toll. All our other pets seem healthy and relatively young, and I'm not superstitious, but some deep emotional part of me can't help but fear May 2027. I think I'm just tired.

Our cat Pinto, still a 9-month old kitten, we've had since she was newborn and abandoned by her mother. We think she was abandoned because she couldn't latch properly to nurse, so we fed her on bottle day and night. Given how much it hurt about Yukon and Gomez after just a couple years, already old when we adopted them, and how much it hurts now about Willow after 11 years, who was a young adult when we adopted her, I am terrified of losing Pinto. I know it'll happen. I don't know what I'll do.

The quality of the pain doesn't really feel new, but the quantity is so much worse than I expected. Feeling guilty about that is new. The fear is new. Not really sure how to process it. You're not supposed to have favorites but I guess you do anyway.

I don't really know what I'm trying to get out of posting this. Pity? Not really. I guess I just need to get it out of my head. I'll probably look back at this thread in a few days to see what people have said but I think I just need to get this out and step away from it for a while and process.

https://i.imgur.com/U1Nq7X8.jpeg

This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

I work across the street from a high school football field and track. During practices and games, they play music at volumes that rattle the windows. Recently, I was in charge of running sound for an event on that same field, but I could barely get my music to play loud enough to be heard. For context, this is a sound system locked in a case so there's no possibility of adjusting levels. There's an RCA aux port with a haggard 3.5mm adapter cable and iPhone adapter. My devices are a chromebook and galaxy tablet. I eventually downloaded the sketchest sound booster app for the tablet which helped somewhat, but nowhere near as loud as what those kids get at their sports.

Does anyone have any idea what's going on here? Why don't my devices output enough? Is there a better remedy?

I'm not some big psychonaut or anything. I haven't even had a proper trip outside of smoking some laced weed a decade or so ago. I microdosed shrooms (golden teacher) for a few years, but I topped out at 100mg twice a week. I've done about 2g of shrooms (different varieties), but at that level its more like a really great buzz off of alcohol with a little euphoria on top. Nothing crazy.

Anyway, I have a cartridge of NN DMT. I'm going to start light with only one hit, which should last only five minutes or so. I have a connect for ayahuasca, but it all seems to intense and drawn out and... just more than I want to do for a first go. I also don't really want to be that deep into something around a bunch of randos who also coughed up a couple hundred bucks to trip in some lady's living room.

I've been reading up on it for a while and have absolutely no anxiety about it. Even though its light, I'm still going to have a friend sit for me just to play it safe.

Ultimately, I don't have any grand expectations or anything. What I get out of it, positive or negative, will be good. I've read about higher doses actually improving the task-switching in the brain, which would be nice for my ADHD. I don't take any drugs for ADHD, depression, or anything, so I'm in a great spot on that front too.

Tell me your experiences (good or bad!)

Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like plex.pass, graffiti and novels. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was bemused.

But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

I would like to learn more about environmental technology to protect Earth. Right now I am using Google Search, which is mostly bad results and not very educational, or nature documentaries, or too complicated for me. Can you please provide me with list of good YouTube channels to watch videos and websites to read about?

I am interested in greenhouse gas emission, electric car, solar panel and battery. I like animal but I do not want to read about their habitat. To learn about animal, I will watch documentary.

I’ve been taking a stack of meds for a couple years now and they work great for me. It’s Prozac, Wellbutrin, and Vyvanse.

But I’ve been feeling numb recently. I told my psych, and we’re going to trial letting go of the Prozac. What should I expect? I’d like to have food taste good again, but I also don’t want the depression to come back.

My psychiatrist says that I should reach out to her if I feel intense multiday sadness, but are there other signs I should be looking out for?

I guess I’m just trying hear more about other people’s experiences with quitting/tapering off antidepressants.

Week 3 has begun!

Post your current bingo cards.
Continue updating us on your games!

If you did not participate in Week 1 but want to start this week, that's fine!
Reminder: playing bingo is OPTIONAL.

Quick links:

• Backlog Bingo Site
• Week 2 Discussion
• Week 1 Discussion

Week 2 Recap

11 participants played 9 bingo cards and moved 28 games out of their backlogs!

Team Mellow

• u/BailerAppleby
• u/Bullmaestro
• u/CannibalisticApple
• u/dannydotcafe
• u/Durinthal
• u/JCPhoenix
• u/Wes

Team Motivated

• u/1338
• u/kfwyre
• u/ShroudedScribe
• u/SingedFrostLantern

All but one are listed above.

u/Wes

Is he still Mellow? Or did he join the Motivateds?

He played three different games, which seems very motivated...

...but mellow is also a state of mind, a pace, a vibe that he rolls with.

So the question lingers: with whom will he stand?

Answer: u/Wes remains on Team Mellow

Game list:

• 911 Operator
• Agent Intercept
• Astrea: Six-Sided Oracles
• Bendy and the Ink Machine
• Berserk Boy
• Cards and Towers
• Curious Expedition
• Doki Doki Literature Club
• Dorfromantik
• Heeey! Park-Boy
• Hue
• The Hundred Line - Last Defense Academy
• Knights of Pen and Paper
• Library of Ruina
• Lucid
• Machinika: Museum
• Node Farm
• Ocean's Heart
• Pokemon Trading Card Game 2
• Programming Factory
• Pyre
• Say No! More
• Subserial Network
• Tametsi
• THOR.N
• Transistor
• Understand
• Wolfenstein: The Old Blood

The survey has been closed and the results are in!

Thank you to all the 318 people that responded! Check out this special results page to see how the Tildes community chose!

• ZIP download of the data

Thank you all again for participating!

Background:

While playing games for the Backlog Burner, I was surprised to learn that the Humble App (which is a "free" perk of having a Humble Choice subscription) has a few games that are actually exclusive to it.

Part of the reason I chose to play games from the Humble App is that I don't expect it'll be around much longer. It isn't getting updates or new games added to it. Also, Humble Games, the publishing arm of Humble which released many of the games available through the app, was abruptly dissolved in 2024.

With this in mind, I went through the entire current library for the Humble App and tried to identify games that I could not find available for purchase/download elsewhere.

Below is a list of games that I consider to be "endangered" because they might become unplayable/lost media if (i.e. when) the Humble App does shut down or stop working.

If you've got the Humble App, it might be worth playing some of these sooner rather than later.

If you've got game preservation sensibilities, it might make sense to download and archive these for posterity.

Game List:

Here are the games that are, as best as I can tell, Humble App exclusives and in danger of being lost permanently.

For each title below, I tried to find a decent link that gave information about the game. Many of these simply don't have a lot of online presence.

Some of them have Steam pages linked, but in those cases, they're just placeholders and you cannot actually buy the game.

• A2Be - A Science Fiction Narrative - Steam page

• after HOURS - info link

• Crescent Bay - info link

• Divinoids - Steam page

• Elephant in the Room - trailer

• fistful of nothing - homepage

• Heeey! Park-Boy - Steam page

• Jawns - playable on the web but no download available

• Keyboard Sports - Steam page (note: I found an itch.io page with it available for download, but it is clearly unofficial)

• Lyric Sonata - gameplay video

• Operator - trailer

• Quiet City - trailer

• Rogue Mansion - Steam page

• Roman Sands - gameplay video

• Space Routine - Steam page

• Spoolside - trailer

• The Groundz - gameplay video

• THOR.N - gameplay video

• Woten - Steam page

• Yojimbrawl - gameplay video

• Zodiac XX - trailer

Feel free to check my work and let me know if I missed any, or if some of these games are actually officially obtainable outside Humble and I didn't find them.

Also let me know if I whiffed any of the links or if you find better ones for any of the games.

Maybe beating a certain dungeon or winning a particular game, or something deeply emotionnal for you.

What is yours?

I have two and they are both in WoW because I played for 10 years.

1. Amber Shaper Un'sok. I decided to join a hardcore guild before MoP because I had ambition and wanted to know what it felt like to raid with capable people. It was an awesome 4 years journey that I will never forget.

When you raid in WoW, it's very rare that the kill relies mostly on 1-2 people, it's always a group effort. That boss was different because there was a mechanic that allowed one random person every ~1min to get transformed and you had specific duties to do and dealt A LOT more damage.

We kept wiping and wiping because people kept fucking up when they got transformed and I kept thinking "if only it could get back to me, I know what to do, just transform me!" Lo and behold, we got an attempt where I got transformed first and last (before the phase switch).

We killed that boss on that attempt. It felt so good to "carry" the group!

2. Last one is with my brother, doing a duo run of MC back in WotLK. It was super easy to do as a raid, but doing it with 1-2 people was definitely still hard.

See, I almost never played with my brother, ever. But WoW was the first game we played together for real. It was an awesome time.

Anyways, we had decided to start a guild together, just to have the guild bank lol so one day we decided to run MC to try to get some old stuff that maybe we could sell. We had an absolute blast that night, wiping, having fun, just playing together.

...it was 15 years ago and I still haven't had a moment with my brother like that. He ended up quitting WoW a couple months after and I just kept playing. We grew apart and that was that. I still think about that MC run with him from time to time.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

I recently realized that many of my favorite gadgets are basically "new" versions of old technology.

• I use Sony Xperia 1VII, with a headphone jack, side mounted fingerprint, no screen cutout, stock Android. It's running the latest Snapdragon chip, however, and the camera hardware is better than the current iPhone (doesn't mean the software is better)
• My favorite smartwatch is Pebble Time. My rePebble Time 2 is on the way. I'm currently using a Garmin, but I'm not exactly happy with it.
• My keyboard is a Niz EC84. The default keycap looks like my keyboard in middle school and it is just perfect right out of the box (except I should've got the 45g one). As a Topre clone, it bounces with rubber domes. I don't like mechanical as the tactile point is not right at the very top of the curve. It also supports hardware mouse key and Bluetooth which is useful when you're working with multiple machines. (Sadly no QMK in this layout)
• When I was buying my PC I couldn't find a single good modern case (i.e. with USB C ports in the front panel) that doesn't have any glass like old school PC. Luckily, Fractal North was just released back then and I immediately preordered.
• I suppose the ThinkPad line may fit into this aesthetically, but it's not exactly the same as it was in IBM era. I heard that the Chinese are making new board for the old ThinkPad chassis though.

I feel like this is an underserved market - why can't they just give me the same phone/computer I have but with the latest technological advancements. Sure, it'd be niche and many people will complain at the price, but at least there is a choice.

Does anyone have other favorite new old school tech they wanted to recommend?

Canadian Grand Prix
Circuit Gilles-Villeneuve
May 22-24, 2026

Next race:
Monaco Grand Prix
Circuit de Monaco
June 5-7, 2026

Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

Miami Grand Prix
Miami International Autodrome
May 1-3, 2026

Next race:
Canadian Grand Prix
Circuit Gilles-Villeneuve
March 22-24, 2026