As soon as Deimos graciously adds the nominated book titles, we will be voting on the next set of books to read for the book club. Voting will close end of day Thursday May 2 Pacific time.

If you plan to read with us, please upvote as many as five titles. We will select at least four, possibly more if there are books with solid support. Each voting thread requires Deimos to work, and I am going to have less availability for a few months so we want to select books to read for the next few months.

I look forward to reading and discussing with you all.

Fair warning, I'm a dummy trying to talk about stuff I don't fully understand, but I wanted to see others' thoughts on this.

In the 1960s, America's GDP (per capita) was $3,000.
Also, in 1960, the federal poverty limit was $3,000 for a family of four.

In 2023, the GDP (per capita) was $82,034.
The federal poverty limit for a family of four in 2023 was $30,000.

This can't be good for the American people. Unless I'm drawing comparisons between two completely unrelated things?

People who are barely in poverty today would have to earn ~2.7x the amount they earn to stay consistent with those who were barely in poverty in the 1960s if GDP and FPL were still equal to each other. So what about the families caught in the middle? Too high earnings to get help and too low to thrive? They just suffer, I guess.

Out of curiosity, I calculated what the thresholds would be if the percentages of GDP to FPL were swapped between 2023 and 1960.

1960s numbers adjusted if FPL matched 2023's percentage:
GDP=$3,000
FPL=$1,111

1960s numbers adjusted if GDP matched the percentage comparison of 2023:
GDP=$8,100
FPL=$3,000

Please let me know if it actually matters that the GDP per capita is 2.7x the federal poverty limit for a family of four. Also, let me know your thoughts.

With life, work and other hobbies, I confess I'm not the gamer I used to be- lack of time being the main culprit. But RPGs- specifically Fantasy Fantasy- are the type I've always loved. Since then, hack-n-slash (I'll keep calling them this name!), action-adventure... I've enjoyed them too.

Given those genres, I'm sure you can think of big-name titles that are excellent. Cool. That's not what this is about. I should also add, I'm going back two generations with this, to the PS3.

You may have heard of a game called Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning. It's never been called a bad game, but phrased as "it's definitely a dungeon crawler". It's certainly NOT a big name game. And yet... I've been putting in TONS of hours to it recently. For a game that isn't one of the Big Names (I actually do have Final Fantasy and many other Big Name games), I'm finding it to be massively fun. I'm wondering if because it's a relatively uncomplicated game- and I admit I also chose Casual mode.

Meanwhile, I also got Monster Hunter: Rise on Steam- it was on a MASSIVE discount. This is DEFINITELY a Big Name game... and Holy Shit. Barely an hour into the game, and it just throws so much at you at once. Granted, playing it on PC rather than Switch is probably also a factor. I wouldn't describe it as complicated... more like, it gives you hundreds of options right from the start, and it feels very overwhelming. And that seems to be the case with games that have been around for a while and are well-known: they give you tons of options early-game. For some people, that's probably awesome- I suppose those with lots of time could easily spend hours working on it. But for someone who has limited time? It almost feels like too much.

Or in other words: those of us with not so much time, having fewer options to worry about is a better things. And that seems to be something only found in "not great" titles. I get that gamers want tons of options- been there, done that- but I find myself wanting fewer things thrown at me now.

In the past few months I have been reading a lot about historical food culture. It's kind of amazing how much things have changed here in the US. Over the last century or so we have basically eliminated communal eating and massively changed the economics of prepared meals. At one point we had automats and cafeterias which skipped out on most of the "front of house" service and focused on serving large volumes of people to keep prices low. There were also diners, which are much different from what we consider to be a diner today; they were very small places that only prepared simple things that needed very little labor to prepare; things like hash browns, sandwiches, or pancakes, so the food was still very cheap. But because they were small, they were able to serve smaller markets that other restaurants were not able to capitalize on. Compare that to today, where diners are just restaurants that have 50s style decor.

But the thing I think is much more unusual is how rare we see food used in service of a message. It's something that has a long history across the globe. Most notably, religions operate food kitchens that help to bring poor people into their folds. Some religions actually have a built-in food culture that includes feeding your neighbors. It's really effective too; there's a small chain of restaurants where I live that has inexpensive food which has some bhuddist texts at the dining tables, and honestly it had me considering joining a religion for the first time. If I spoke Chinese they might have got me! Eating food requires a baseline of trust, so if you can get someone to eat at your restaurant you will bypass a lot of the caution that people approach the world with.

With that being said, why isn't food-based activism a lot more popular? I'm sure that it would work for much more than religion. A restaurant that acts as a messaging platform doesn't necessarily need to be funded by food sales, so they can undercut the competition on price and reach an even greater audience. Given the ways I have seen religions use food to further their means, I think that it could even go farther than changing people's minds about topics and actually motivate people to take action and join communities who are actually making real change. Food is both relatively inexpensive and it's something that everyone needs to survive, so it seems to me that food-based activism is the single largest missed opportunity for community organization.

Last in the line of prominent female leading roles is Fargo from 1996 directed by the Coen brothers and starring Frances McDormand.

IMDb
Letterboxd
Wikipedia

Besides any thoughts on this movie, what did you think of Frances McDormand's performance in this?

The schedule for May is:

• 6th: Pan's Labyrinth
• 13th: The Zone of Interest
• 20th: Luxury Car
• 27th: The Tree of Life

Hey y'all! In about a month I need to drive from San Antonio, Texas to State College, Pennsylvania. The current plan is to take I35 to I30 and I40, which will take me through Dallas, Little Rock, Nashville, Louisville, Cincinnati, Columbus, and just outside Pittsburgh.

It's a long drive, so I'm looking for a few places to stop along the way and stretch my legs. I know it's a large area and this is a very vague question, but does anyone know any particularly interesting places to stop?

Sorry about the headline. (not really) I know it doesn't make all that much sense. The thing is, I bought a Dubreq Stylophone Beatbox (review here) and it's really quite fun to play around with. At its core, it lets you record and play your own rhythms in a loop. It sort of feels like an unholy mix between a musical instrument and an editor.

The problem is that I can't save as an editable format (midi or ... whatever) or import new instruments, so while its great fun and quite powerful (I composed this) I still feel the need for something more flexible. Also, I accidently borrowed it away, so while I still "own" it, I don't actually have it as such.

So, are there any other thingie which (gonna repeat the headline here) are fun and intuitive, yet still grants me some more power compared to what is offered by the Stylophone Beatbox? I don't mind if it is a program of a physical thing.

EDIT: Thanks all! I had expected one, maybe two suggestions, so, wow! This is pretty much a new world to me, and I'm floored that there's so much music stuff available. I'm slowly beginning to get some sort of overview of it all.

Edit nominations are now closed

If you think you might be interested to read with us, please name between one and five books you find intriguing and think others might enjoy. We will later have a voting thread so that each nomination gets an equal shot to win votes with no early nomination advantage.

Please feel free to nominate both fiction and nonfiction and consider nominating a diverse selection of books and authors. Books should be 600 pages or shorter. The first books in series are fair game for nominations if they tell a complete story.

If anyone is curious about the timing, we still have two books to read from the original nominations, but I will be traveling a lot this summer and may not be in a position to manage a nomination and voting thread then, so I want to get this sorted earlier.

Because of a tight schedule for me, I will be posting discussion questions May 16 or 17. Please feel free to join us.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

My son recently made a pen in his high school shop class and absolutely loved the process. With summer approaching, I've been toying with the idea of setting him up with his own pen-turning station rather than the typical summer job route.
Here’s where I could use your expertise:

Lathe Choices: I'm looking at a couple of options from Harbor Freight—there’s a $300 model and a $550 variable speed one. How crucial is variable speed for a beginner? Would the basic model suffice for starting out, or is the upgrade worth it in the long run?

Chisels: I don’t want to cut corners on quality, especially for cutting tools. Any recommendations for brands or specific tools that are good for beginners but can also handle more advanced projects as he improves?

Essentials List: Besides the lathe, what are some must-have tools for pen turning? I already have the basics covered with a table saw, miter saw, dust collection system, and drill press.

Learning Resources: Any favorite videos, books, or other resources that could help both of us learn more about pen turning would be greatly appreciated.

I want to encourage him to sell them, but I'm also completely fine if they end up as Christmas gifts for the family. I’m excited to encourage my son’s new interest and would really appreciate your input on how to create a great setup for him. Thanks in advance for your help and suggestions!

Voting closed

The Cannes Film Festival is in May and I thought we should find four movies related to Cannes to watch in May. Maybe a bit of a risk since it isn't exactly full of well known mainstream movies, but I promise there is more to choose from than French arthouse movies. The criteria is simple, the movie must have been presented at the Cannes Film Festival at some point.

On the official website you can browse through all movies that has been in competition over the years. To narrow it down there is a list of all the Palme d’Or winners or more broadly every movie that have won any award at Cannes. This list all movies that have been in competition per year in alphabetical order

Rules

• Have been in the official program on the Cannes Film Festival in any year
• Not one we have done before
• Only one nomination per user
• Please only nominate if you intent to participate
• Upvote the post(s) with a nomination you would like to be picked for discussion next month
• Please state the title of the movie clearly on the first line, and add any additional general comments in the next paragraph to keep voting simple

In case of ties in the number of votes, random.org will decide. Voting closes Sunday.

The wife and I are trying to plan a little road trip this summer and we can't even pick a direction so far, let alone a destination. We're realizing part of the difficulty is that we value spontaneity over planning our vacation.

Some of our best times on vacation have been totally serendipitous - like pulling into Pocatello, Idaho and finding out it has a Museum of Clean, which sounds very quirky. And it was. But also quite entertaining as the founder toured us through some of the many ways that people have engineered things to keep their homes clean over the past century or so. Thats not something we'd ever plan ahead to see but it was a fun and entertaining afternoon.

Or pulling into Rawlins, Wyoming and finding out it has the Wyoming Frontier Prison, which is preserved as a museum with lots of interesting stories of its former prisoners. We toured the cell blocks, cafeteria, showers, and then got to into the 'death house' where the hangings took place. And its the first and last time you'll ever get to sit in a gas chamber!

Looking back though, we've missed some great things too. Like getting to San Francisco and realizing that tours of Alcatraz have been been booked up for weeks. Or finding out that we were a few days early to see all the bikes in Sturgis. Or that if you dont have a destination in Iowa, all youre going to see is miles and miles and miles of corn. And then more corn. Oh well, better luck next time? Or better planning?

Which are you, a detail planner or a fly by the seat of your pants vacationer?

Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

Albums typically release on Fridays. This is a thread to discuss week of April 26, 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your eye and interest, or share your thoughts about any new music that you've had the chance to listen to this week. I suppose let's try to keep the focus mostly on stuff that was released or announced this week, since we already have a "What have you been listening to?" thread.

Discussion Points
Is there anything you've been looking forward to listening to?
Any releases that have surprised you?
Have you listened to any new music recently? What are your thoughts?
What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past? How does their latest work compare?

Links:
Pitchfork - Out This Week
AllMusic - All New Releases
Stereogum - New Music
Shreddit Release Tracker
New Metal and Hardcore Releases - Lambgoat
Heavy Metal Album Release Calendar - Heavy Music HQ
Upcoming albums - Encyclopaedia Metallum: The Metal Archives

What I love about these series is the overarching plot that isn't too obvious, lots of character growth, and a great mix of comedy and seriousness between episodes.

A show I tried that was advertised as similar was Star vs. the Forces of Evil that was a little too in your face with a lol random personality that I don't really click with.

No restrictions on time period, and feel free to suggest anime if it fits the bill, I just posted in TV as I these aren't anime and I don't have much experience in the area.

Long story short, I grew up believing that a great deal of worth of someone's life was effecting change, especially politically. That's why I valued activism. It took courage, especially considering I don't live in a developed country.

The older I got and more problems I faced, I started to realize how unsatisfactory, even hollow this was. Modes of activism I engaged in didn't seem to fulfill me emotionally anymore, they were mostly impersonal, and they didn't seem to change anything. I have a lot of views that are extremely unorthodox for the place I live in, and I don't see any political movement that internalizes those values. I am extremely alienated from the "nation" I am supposedly part of, and from the political movements within it.

Another angle is that I recently realized how misguided I was. I was mostly doing mental labor, believing in the axiom that ideas can change things. But after some time and readings, I started thinking activities that aim for collective action and concrete changes (e.g. syndicates) were much more important. These are not available to me.

I feel like I have wasted a lot of my time. I pursued ideals more than my own emotional needs, believing they would make me happy and fulfilled, and they didn't. I pursued a way of engaging in politics that felt good but didn't effect change.

Don't get me wrong, while this is exasperating, it's also extremely liberating, joyful even. I enjoy the moments of quiet destruction that bring about the new. I no longer feel ashamed to admit I want comfort and stability in my life, and I don't want to take unnecessary risks. I have enough problems as is.

With this being said, I haven't given up on effecting change. I think it's much more convoluted and different than what I imagined when I was younger, and it's not generally about "going out there and showing up" or writing political texts and such. There are also levels to creating change, as it's not a binary thing.

At this point, I want to primarily live for myself, participate in some kind of change without risking myself to the point of overwhelming anxiety, and make more personal and real connections with people in general, including during effecting change.

What I've written here is a bit rough, but it's still an ongoing and raw process for me, and this post is more of a conversation topic, rather than a properly structured argument. I am interested in hearing your opinions. Has anyone had similar experiences, or things this post reminded you of?

I recently got in to drone photography. I got a DJI Air 3 and have been having a blast flying it around and taking photos. I have been messing around with Adobe Lightroom touching up the photos I take. I even got my Part 107 cert on a whim because I thought it would be cool to have; whether or not I actually use the thing commercially is kinda beside the point for me.

Does anyone have any suggestions on where to find and share drone photos? I'm kinda hoping to see what others are doing in the space to get inspiration and maybe some critical eyes for my own work. I reopened a long dormant Instagram account and started posting here and there only to find that most of my feed is ads...

Hi, everyone. I'm on the hunt for opinions. I live in a colder climate in North America with no access to natural gas. Most heat their homes with propane or oil. Mine uses a very old 30+ year old oil boiler. I've started to see more pellet boilers, but I'm a bit uncertain about them at the moment. I don't like burning fossil fuels to heat my home, but electric isn't really an option out here and it's hard to argue with the "tried and true" cast iron boiler with the BTU per gallon oil offers. On the other hand, my local government is practically throwing money and/or attractive financing at people to switch.

I'm curious if anyone out there has made the switch to some kind of pellet-fed heating system from a fossil fuel system. If so, I'd love to hear what you think of them, be it good or bad.

I've spoken with some authors who are working on non-fiction books. I've noticed that some of them know their books intimately and can correct me if I mis-relay a section back to them that I've read. They can do this without checking the actual book and I've then verified that I was incorrect.

Others have told me that by the time they were finished a seemingly infinite number of edits, they can't bear to read their own book again and just sent it to an editor at that point and released it.

I was surprised by the latter but it does remind me of my own experience writing very long papers in college. Is this common in your own experience?

UPDATE 2024/04/26: Couldn't find any spot with a Endocrinologist right away so I went to a urologist.

Urologists these days, at least here in Brazil, are well versed in TRT and knows exactly what to look for.

Turns out I have some issues that could be causing my low T. My left testicle is way smaller than my right which indicates that things are not working. I also have varicocele (enlarged veins in the scrotum), which in some cases can cause low testosterone and in a lot of cases can lower your sperm count and quality.

So he ordered blood tests to check all my hormones as well as Triglycerides and other things, ultrasound of my balls and spermogram.

It'll probably take a week or two to have all these done and I'll come back here with the results.

I am also noticing some symptoms besides libido, like poor sleep (I am waking up a lot more in the night, like 4+ times) and really low muscle gain for someone who lifts for 10 years and can push some heavy weight. There are some things in me that it could be linked to this. I feel like I am just pushing through life these days, feeling a little beaten and just going through the motions. It could explain my exacerbated cynicism and lack of interest in everything.

It could be that my body has been working against me for some time.

Original thread:

I am 37yo.

One year ago I did a checkup and asked for my testosterone levels because I was feeling my libido was lower than normal.

The results came back and my numbers were 377 ng/dL, free test was 9 ng/dL and SHBG 23,6 mmol/L.

It was low, but within the normal range.

Everything else was perfectly normal.

Now almost a year later I am feeling that things are worse. I can go a week without feeling any desire. I still have morning wood, but it is not every day like it was. I have sex with my SO, but I can easily lose my erection.

I scheduled an appointment with an endocrinologist from my health inssurance, but it has a spot only in July!

So I went to a lab and did a blood test for testosterone and it is indeed worse.

It is now 255 ng/dL, free test was 6,5 ng/dL and SHBG 19 mmol/L.

I am physically active, lift weights 4 days per week, can squat relatively big numbers, am not overweight (on mornings I have a six pack) and drink alcohol only on weekends.

Is this drop normal when you reach 40s or there is probably an issue here?

I thought HRT was for when we were in our 50s.

Anybody has gone through anything similar and can share your stories?

This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

So, over the pandemic, I decided to follow a dream and write a novel. I followed all of the best practices I could find, had it beta read by folks so that the finished product would be as polished as possible, posted it on Amazon's kdp site in ebook and paperback/hardcover, and then set out to get the word out, but nothing seems to be attracting any attention to it.

To be fair, I know I'm not going to be the next Stephen king, but at the same time I feel like I should be able to find an audience somewhere. I've tried Facebook ads, i run a blog I post to semi regularly, as well as mirror posts on FB and insta, I've tried a couple of short videos on tiktok, but since its launch a couple years back, I've managed to amass just under 20 bucks Canadian in royalties.

Now, money wasn't a motivator when I began this new trek, but it would be nice to feel like the world I created has reached a few people and given them at least a small amount of entertainment.

If you're an author that's had success with some form of marketing, please share, and if you're someone who reads new stuff on the regular, where do you go to find new stories?

I'm taking some time to set up a mastodon account, and am currently confused about how following other federated accounts is supposed to work.

Let's use https://lemmy.world/c/comicstrips as an example. I go to that link and I see posts from other federated sites, as well as posts made directly on lemmy.world (I presume). I can also view all posts from that community in r.nf as well (https://r.nf/c/comicstrips@lemmy.world). I see all the same posts from the lemmy link.

What I don't understand is why, when I follow @comicstrips@lemmy.world on mastodon I only ever am shown replies and boosts from the account. I don't see the original image post, which I was expecting.

What am I missing? For what it's worth I'm using Phanpy to interact with mastodon, but am experiencing the same behavior on mastodon.social as well.

I'm working on a new boss fight for a 5-person level 8 party of fairly new people. I wanted to give them something completely different, so I figured a fight on a small 20x20 circular rooftop with a stealthy djinn might be fun. I'd love to hear thoughts on how to make this a good time. My main idea is to force the party to figure out creative ways to find the djinn, since they don't have any way to see invisible creatures in their normal set of abilities. Things like throwing sand in the air, or holding ropes between each other to detect the silent wind motion as he moves around. Stuff that is more flavorful than a normal straight fight.

I'll also be throwing players off the roof, forcing them to make agility saves to grab hold of ropes that are on the edge of the building, then strength checks to pull themselves back up. Have some moderate injuries occur if they roll badly. What suggestions would you have for me to make this a fun fight?

Izel, Guardian Djinn

Large Elemental (Air), Lawful Neutral

---

• Armor Class 17 (natural armor)
• Hit Points 152 (16d10 + 64)
• Speed 30 ft., fly 60 ft.

---

STR	DEX	CON	INT	WIS	CHA
18 (+4)	22 (+6)	18 (+4)	16 (+3)	20 (+5)	18 (+4)

---

• Saving Throws Dex +10, Con +8, Wis +9, Cha +8
• Skills Insight +9, Perception +9, Stealth +10
• Damage Resistances lightning, thunder; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks
• Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion
• Senses truesight 60 ft., passive Perception 19
• Languages Auran, Common
• Challenge 12 (8,400 XP)

---

Elemental Demise. If the djinni dies, its body disintegrates into a warm breeze, leaving behind only equipment the djinni was wearing or carrying.

Innate Spellcasting. The djinni's innate spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 16, +8 to hit with spell attacks). It can innately cast the following spells, requiring no material components:



At will:

Mage Armor: You touch a willing creature who isn’t wearing armor, and a protective magical force surrounds it until the spell ends. The target’s base AC becomes 13 + its Dexterity modifier. The spell ends if the target dons armor or if you dismiss the spell as an action.

Greater Invisibility: (Concentration) You or a creature you touch becomes invisible until the spell ends. Anything the target is wearing or carrying is invisible as long as it is on the target’s person. The target can attack or cast spells without becoming visible.

3/day each:
> Wind Wall: Requires concentration. You create a wall of strong wind on the ground at a point you can see within range. The wall is up to 50 feet long, 15 feet high, and 1 foot thick, or a ringed wall up to 20 feet in diameter, 15 feet high, and 1 foot thick. It lasts for the duration, blocking arrows, smaller creatures, gases, and fog.
> Lightning Bolt: You release a bolt of lightning that arcs toward a target you can see within range. A line of electricity 100 feet long and 5 feet wide blasts out from you in a direction you choose. Each creature in the line must make a Dexterity saving throw, taking 8d6 lightning damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Actions

Multiattack. The djinni makes two scimitar attacks.

Wind Blade. Melee Weapon Attack: +10 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 15 (2d8 + 6) slashing damage plus 5 (1d10) lightning damage.

Windforce Blade (Enhanced Multiattack). If Izel hits a target with both attacks during his Multiattack, the target is pushed 10 feet away from him.

Whirlwind (1/Day). As an action, Izel transforms into a whirlwind for one turn, moving in a straight line up to 60 feet. Any creature in the path of the whirlwind must make a DC 16 Dexterity saving throw. On a failed save, the creature takes 18 (3d12) bludgeoning damage and is thrown 15 feet in a random direction and knocked prone. On a successful save, the creature takes half damage and is not thrown or knocked prone.

Legendary Actions

Izel can take legendary actions, choosing from the options below.

Wind Push. After every enemy's turn, Izel rolls a D20; on a 13 or higher, he uses the wind to move that enemy if they are within 60 feet of him. The target must succeed on a DC 16 Strength saving throw or be pushed 15 feet away from Izel and knocked prone.

Wind Buffet. Izel creates a small burst of intense wind around himself. Each creature within 10 feet of Izel must succeed on a DC 16 Dexterity saving throw or take 17 (3d10) bludgeoning damage and be pushed 10 feet away from him. Using Wind Buffet breaks Izel’s concentration and ends his turn.

Lair Actions

• At the start of each turn, roll a D20. On a 10 or higher, all creatures on the battlefield are pushed 5 feet in a random direction determined by a d8 roll. This unpredictable movement simulates the chaotic nature of the winds that Izel commands.

The foundation for organic friendships they say is repeated, unplanned interactions (which I think I largely agree with). But this isn't always feasible, depending on the environment you're in. Do you think a truly rich and organic friendship can be "forced"? What, if anything, is lost?

Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like net neutrality, agreements.noncompete and tiktok. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was a nosey parker.

But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

I have managed to install and configure something called NextDNS on both of my devices and most browsers, even though the documentation seems to be made with more tech-savvy people in mind. So far so good. I turned on all the available blocklists, but a lot of strange looking (to me) traffic is still getting through. I'm assuming some of it is benign, but how do I evaluate which addresses I should block or not? I'll list some examples below.

init.ess.apple.com
init-p01md.apple.com
bag.itunes.apple.com
gsp-ssl.ls.apple.com
gspe35-ssl.ls.apple.com
pki-goog.l.google.com
For these, the service offers the following information: 'Provides advertising or advertising-related services such as data collection, behavioral analysis or retargeting.' Sounds like something I wouldn't want to enable. When it comes to the iTunes one, I don't use iTunes and don't even have it installed (don't ask how I managed to get rid of it - it took several days worth of trial and error..). One of these, pki-goog.l.google.com is listed as 'dangerously prevalent (tracks 21.23% of web traffic)'.

Then again, the same general description is sometimes given to addresses that seem legit, such as:
time.apple.com
weather-data.apple.com

Some are indecipherable to me and don't come with any sort of description:
fp2e7a.wpc.phicdn.net
init.ess.g.aaplimg.com
get-bx.g.aaplimg.com
ocsp2.g.aaplimg.com
ocsp.pki.goog

Some descriptions are kind of vague:
a2047.dscapi9.akamai.net
apis.apple.map.fastly.net
'Content delivery network that delivers resources for different site utilities and usually for many different customers.'

Some seem to be doing tasks that are definitely wanted:
ocsp.digicert.com
'Digicert Trust Seal - Includes tag managers, privacy notices, and technologies that are critical to the functionality of a website.'

Then there's an Amazon Web Service, go-updater-1830831421.us-west-2.elb.amazonaws.com, listed as very prevalent (tracks 5.5% of web traffic) that has been contacting my phone even though I haven't done any shopping or product related searches. What is this and should I block it?

And so on and so on. Is there any logic to these that I can follow? I tried google searching some to no avail.

What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

This is a question I eventually ask about every social media site I use(d). I like Tildes, and the discussions here are much more constructive than any other place I've seen, however I've seen it to be true even here. When one doesn't curate their feed, and use the default home page, the negative topics seems to dominate. I'm talking about the topics that talk about problems and what's wrong with something, often with titles implying the awfulness or emergency of such a problem. I think I don't need to elaborate on how this is much more prevalent and extreme on other sites. But nevertheless, it's a recurring pattern even here.

I know the argument that goes that humans are problem-fixing machines, and that there are psychological incentives to focus on problems. However, this seems overly reductive and lacking in explanatory power to me. Outside of internet, this is not a phenomenon I've experienced with people, unless they were mentally going through something very rough. Otherwise, people generally seem to talk about neutral or positive issues. And even while talking about negative issues, the tone often isn't grim, and doesn't leave a depressive aftertaste.

Even on the internet, in smaller spaces and more closed spaces, like chatting servers, this doesn't seem to hold true. Sure, there are politically-oriented, and therefore problem-oriented spaces even there, but most spaces don't seem to be that way. Back when I used Facebook too, while the posts were vain, most of my friends and acquaintances were just interested in sharing and commenting on social lives.

So I think this is a problem that is more endemic to "open" social media sites, with easily accessible and open-to-public spaces, rather than applying to the whole humanity or even every internet space. Its one of my biggest head scratchers about social media sites. So far I couldn't find a satisfactory explanation in the literature either. Doesn't mean there isn't, but I haven't stumbled upon such.

So, I'm interested in your opinions: Why do negative topics dominate on open social media sites, even here, unless curated against? Why is this such a strong recurring pattern for sites structured like this, while it's not in other online and physical spaces and interections I mentioned?

There have been a number of threads recently that have touched on this topic recently, and I thought the conversation deserved its own place.

My default worldview for the past decade+ has been something best characterized as naturalistic or materialist (the totality of reality can be explained by material and its interactions.) I've had a few things challenge this view recently, namely the "Hard Problem of Consciousness." I'll post my own comment about what moved me from hard materialist to agnostic on materialism, but I encourage you to post your own reasoning in your comment!

Not really usre where to put this, so mods feel free to move it if you think that putting it under life.style is inappropriate.

My original thought was more related to online cashless payments in general- if you don't know, there's actually a way to donate directly to Tildes to help pay for server costs if you like this site enough. However, I've discovered that I don't like to often do any monetary transactions online- there's just something that's a pain in the butt about entering 19 digits online (16 for card number, then three more for the SVC).

But in the spirit of wanting an actual discussion... buying things online has been an option since I was a teenager, so we're talking about 20 years ago. You'll usually hear people and companies say "You can go shopping right from the comfort of your own home, there's so much to choose from, and if you choose the right option you can have it in just a day or two... just enter your credit card info and you're all set!". But for me personally, it's the last two that I take issue with.

You have the overall credit card issue- right now, I live in a country where cash is still king, even if it IS trying to catch up to other nations with cashless payments. For credit cards, besides entering the number being annoying, and then your address (billing and shipping, usually but not always the same place), it can be far too easy to spend way too much on credit card. Remember, many countries actively push the consumerist mindset, which is a MAJOR trap. And just to mention it- I do NOT trust any sites or devices to remember my card info. I'm VERY paranoid of being hacked- specifically talking about storing any info in something like Google Wallet/Pay/whatever it's called.

But then you have the other issue, and why even though you might get more selection online, I would still rather visit an actual storefront, even if it's an hour or so away. To put it simply- when the transaction is completed, I want to have the item in my possession. Buying online, you always run into the shipping (and handling) issue- Amazon is one of the fastest, and they still take at least two days. In the US, the issue has been made worse because of the post office situation. or in other words: you paid the money, now how long will it take to have the actual physical item? It's probably just a product of how I grew up, but I hate having to wait longer than a day after I've already given you my money.

So, people of Tildes, what about you- do you find online shopping to be extremely convenient, or do you have your own issues with buying things online?

Added the qualifier to the title as web3 understandably earns a lot of eyerolls haha. At the same time, a lot of web3 focused places seem to have a specific mindset about what "should" be done so I wanted to ask here.

I worked in the space at startup (ironically making web2 services to assist in web3 so I’m still an extreme novice). But my time there was a constant push / pull between convention and money and innovation and the unknown. The company I was at would try to appeal to big companies in hopes of finding a product market fit, who looked to us for guidance on what to do in this new space where they hoped to make money. Trend after trend would pass and it would be entertained whether we’d jump on it because product market fit.

The most desirable companies were household names with non-web3 userbases because they meant unprecedented reach. But to make web3 approachable to them, you’d have to define a UX that didn’t exist and would be pulled in a tug of war between two forces. The first mindset optimises for the purest idea of giving the user power— UXs that were obvious about the concepts of transactions and transferrable assets. The other wanted to replicate web2 UXs in web3, to the degree that a user gives temporary control of their wallet to a developer so the developer performs transactions as them.

Then, there is the data and pseudonymity piece. Companies have been taught that data is valuable, and one of the values of a blockchain is an identity that exists outside of any one company. But if all of your assets are on a blockchain— either under your public key or perhaps under a few that might transfer assets only between each other— then your identity can be known (not so private) and also cannot be monopolized and sold (because your data is public).

In the background, as this all happens, is the decentralization argument. At the end of the day, my company used EVM nodes operated by another company (which themselves might be wrappers around something offered by AWS). What is meaningful decentralization alongside specialization of labor? What is decentralization in a world that has billionaires and enormous companies who has the means to buy resources and set up tons of nodes?

Being out of the space now, I do think a decentralized database with immutable scripts, user-managed transferrable assets, and transferrable identity has enormous value. But recently I’ve been wondering how much of that can be accomplished in the private sector. In my time there it felt like the startup needs (enterprise customers, increased ARR) constantly compromised the will for innovation efforts.

I have a couple of old Reddit accounts I’d like to delete as fully as possible. However one of them dates back to my teenage years and it’s some of the only writings I have from that time. Any recommendations on good simple ways to scrape all the comments off of it and save them? Then what’s the best way to completely erase a Reddit footprint these days?

Looking for as simple a solution as possible, I’m not tech illiterate by any means but it’s also not a real strong suit for me.

Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like united nations, embezzlement and roguelites. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was mystified.

But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

Another strong female lead with Sigourney Weaver in Aliens from 1986.

IMDb
Letterboxd
Wikipedia

Besides any thoughts on this movie, what did you think of Sigourney Weaver s performance in this? How do you rank compared to the rest of movies in the Alien-franchise?

The rest of the schedule for April is:

• 29th: Fargo

Hey all! I'm trans masc, and this means my body isn't exactly at the top of the bell curve for men's fashion. I'm looking to dress more masculinely, especially as I recently had top surgery. I'm having trouble finding stuff that fits and I find constantly trying on clothes that don't fit pretty disheartening. I was hoping I could get some advice here!

I'd like to increase the number of jeans I own, but unfortunately I've got proportions that are hard to accommodate. I'm 5'4" and ~100kg, so this already necessitates looking outside the normal sizes, but I also have trouble where jeans that should fit around my waist won't fit over my hips/butt. This means that either I struggle to get jeans on, or I get jeans that are falling down to my ass even with a belt. Women's jeans are presumably engineered to avoid this problem since this is a normal proportion for women, but I would prefer to wear men's jeans for the thicker material, better pockets, and more masculine look. The only jeans I have currently that even approximately fit are some Levi's I bought when visiting my parents back in the States, but I live in Germany and those are expensive to get here, so I'm hoping for advice more generally on how to find suitable men's jeans or even specific recommendations for brands that are more accessible here in Europe.

Another problem I've had is in finding suitable coats and jackets due to my narrow shoulders. There are tons of men's jackets and coats that I'd love to add to my repertoire, but shoulders are nigh-impossible to even get tailored and there are rarely multiple options on that front, especially as someone with a gut. But there are cis men with narrow shoulders too so I wonder if there's existing advice out there on how to shop for coats as a fat guy with narrow shoulders.

Hiya folks!

My partner (M36) and I (F30) have been in a relationship for 2 years (living together for 1) and have started talking about marriage lately. Neither of us has popped the question yet (we both want to be proposed to), but we're starting to do "Marriage Mondays" and work through The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver. (I was also thinking of reading The ADHD Effect on Marriage by Melissa Orlov since my partner has ADHD.)

We're both big into communication, studying relationship books, and making sure we iron things out before we take the next step. Before we moved in, we talked about divvying up household chores and made a spreadsheet detailing who does what. We also made sure that the spreadsheet was not a holy text, and if one of us was feeling bad (whether because of sickness, mental health, or work stress), the other would temporarily pick up the slack (or at least cut the other person some slack!) It's been great so far and I really do feel like we're in an equitable partnership. (As much as it can be, at least!)

But of course, marriage is a whole other story. We both live in a different country from where we're from and if we ever have kids, we won't be able to rely on either one of our families for much. I know the major topics of finance, kids, and careers, but is there anything else (besides the wedding) you all may have done or questions you asked to "prepare" for marriage?

So we make about $100,000 combined, I make just shy of 70K and she makes about 30K.

Both states have programs for first time homebuyers, but our incomes together prohibit us from qualifying, whereas separately we both qualify.

Would it be considered fraud if I were to apply for one as myself, get the house in my name, but we both pay on it? I can't find anything on either page about it, but obviously we are not legally married.

Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

As the classical argument goes, as the metaphysical aspects of the universe were stripped away by materialism, it was disenchanted. That it became more soulless, barren, and less enjoyable. While this argument has merit, I don't think it's necessarily true.

For example, I'm a hardline materialist, meaning I don't think any metaphysical phenomenon exists, there is no afterlife, and that it's extremely unlikely a "God" exists. However, I also create dramatic and playful narratives around existence. I think of the natural laws of the universe as cold, unfeeling, grand Lovecraftian gods. I also think of the human existence, struggle, and search for warmth and meaning as an existentialist endeavor, a rebellion against this cruel and hostile cosmos. It can be likened to the narrative in Dark Souls or Berserk. A suffocatingly dark cosmos that also has warmth scattered around.

This is my way of "enchanting" these jumbled together random bits that we call a universe, and the lives lived within it. So, other hardline materialists, how do you "enchant" your life and view of the world?

I don't think it will be an issue, but just in case, please, no non-materialist answers. This topic's intention is not to debate anyone about materialism or metaphysics, but to have a conversation among a particular group of people.

Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you.

It could be one quirky video that you feel deserves some eyeballs on it, or perhaps you've got a curated list of videos that you'd love to talk us through...

Share some of the best video content you've watched this past week/fortnight with us!