I've been friends with someone for 18 months that seems to be taking the friendship in an inappropriate direction. Well, it started inappropriate as well.

At my last job we all sat in cubicles. One day, having just led my ornithologist brother on a small bird tour of the area, I described the trip to a co-worker. Someone I'd never noticed before popped up from behind a cube wall and started asking questions. She introduced herself and for the next few days continued to strike up conversations with me.

After a certain amount of this I wondered if this was a romantic interest from her. I was already counting the days until I would quit the job so saw little reason not to ask her out for a drink. When I proposed the idea she gave me a devious smile and we quietly headed out. Afterwards, in the settling of the tab, I Venmo'd her for a beer and noticed her Venmo account had a different last name than she has at work and asked about that. She's Chinese and I wasn't sure if sometimes Chinese people might have an anglicized last name in addition to their first name. "Oh, sometimes I use one, sometimes the other" was all I got. Nothing physical occurred or was initiated.

A week later after texting and going to a company workout class together she tells me that she is married. I'm absolutely shocked and feel like I've been used as part of someone's adulterous fantasy. The style of our conversations seemed identical to the getting-to-know-you type of stuff you cover on first dates. But I wasn't sure. Maybe I misread the situation. I tell her I'm not comfortable with the situation and we stop talking for a week. But I'd already joined the group workout class on her recommendation and would see her there anyway. I decided that I didn't really know what her intentions were and would give her the benefit of the doubt. She seemed to be interested in us having a friendship.

But I really wanted to know... what did happen? One of my favorite podcasts is Heavyweight. In it, Jonathan Goldstein plays the role of a social detective. People come to him with relationship issues from their past and he, without the restraint most people feel, badgers people for answers with his journalistic skills. I suspect I am mildly autistic, so for me many mundane social interactions carry mystery. To have Goldstein take relatable life experiences and crack them open for all to see is powerful. It's like we can finally get some goddamn answers to people's closest kept secrets.

So as time went on I got integrated into her group of friends, met her husband, her dog. Her husband seems like a great guy. But my friend would give indications of unhappiness in her marriage, often in groups when he was not around, occasionally over text message to me. I never engaged.

She had some hard-to-get permits for a backpacking trip. It would be a trip of four. Her husband was not interested so she invited three friends including myself. I went on the trip, made a new friend who just moved to my city, and had a great time. Immediately afterwards we started planning a new trip.

At some point my female friend did initiate a conversation on what she was thinking when we went out for a drink and what happened during the days after before she told me she was married. It boiled down to her wanting my friendship but not wanting to change my behavior. In my interpretation she wanted the attention of being dated. I honestly wasn't sure how much I believed this explanation - and even on its face it didn't sound super great.

So we just got back from another backpacking trip - myself, my female friend, and a male friend of hers who is married. During the trip I ended up discussing my sexuality with the two of them. I consider myself to be on the spectrum of asexuality. I described, as best I could, what makes me attracted to people (an emotional connection, their personality and intelligence, etc.) and the short list of people I had found myself strongly attracted to. I didn't list my female friend - I had lost most of my interest with that initial feeling of being used a year and a half ago. And a couple weeks isn't quite enough time for me to really get things revved up. Visibly I could see she was very confused but I didn't acknowledge her reaction. "Wasn't there one more ... the married one?" I dodged the question.

On the drive back her male friend brought up the topic of my sexuality again. I answered his questions. My female friend seemed to again want to know if I was attracted to her. "Do you ever find your friends attractive?" "Are you attracted to older women?" (she's older than me)

On my side of things, this friendship has been predicated on the idea that as long as I didn't engage with anything I consider to be unethical there couldn't be any harm done. But now I'm not so sure. And what's worse - I'm finding myself attracted to her again because of her interest.

I've been thinking about having a conversation about how she's making me uncomfortable. I think it's past the point where there's any chance nothing's going on. I really do not get the impression she's trying to leave her husband. I just feel played with.

Edit: Okay, the friend in question is away for a few weeks but I'll have a conversation with them when they get back to figure this out.

I've thought about this off and on for like a year.

It, as far as I know, seems well documented that populations are struggling with dating and marriages, especially in the younger generations. A lot of people attribute it to things like finances, working hours, cost of living, etc, but also the abysmal online dating circus. People don't seem to go out with the intention of meeting people as much, and so most turn to apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. But with these apps basically monopolized by the Match group, and none of the parent companies have an actual incentive to get people off the app, it seems like a ripe opportunity for governments everywhere to try and fill in the gap.

As they don't have the investor profit motive, but they do have a very strong motive for people to get together, have relationships, marriages, eventually babies. And this is just a baseless claim on my part, but I imagine it could be stimulating to local economies as more people go on dates. I know at least my ass doesn't go anywhere really when I'm single.

Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week!

Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle are most worth my attention?”

Rules:

• No grey market sales
• No affiliate links

If posting a sale, it is strongly encouraged that you share why you think the available game/games are worthwhile.

All previous Save Point topics

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We’re almost halfway through the 2020s (hard to believe it, I know!).

I’m interested in knowing which music newcomers we should be tuning into, instead of listening to all the same old stuff we always do from the last decade.

So, what have been your favorite debut albums of the 2020s so far? What makes them great?

This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

I am currently preparing for a new job and cleaning up my dotfile repository. During the process, I had the idea that it would be nice to create a list of amazing tools, aliases, functions, and recommendations together.

I will start.

First, here is a list of nice tools to apt-get install or brew install that I can wholeheartedly recommend:

• nvim is just an amazing text editor.
• fzf is a very good fuzzy finder util. For example, you can quickly find files with it.
• eza is a good ls replacement (and the successor of exa).
• bat is a great replacement for cat with nice integrations and many options.
• stow is great for managing your dotfiles. Thanks to @TangibleLight for telling me about it some while ago. I really love it.
• tmux is a terminal multiplexer, i.e. you can have many sessions in one single terminal window. It's easy to use and super helpful. (When on a mac, I prefer iTerm tabs, though.)
• nvm is practically a must if you are working with Node.
• glow is an excellent markdown reader.
• tldr is a nice man replacement. (You must run tldr -u after installing it to update available texts.)
• z, an amazing tool for switching directories quickly.

Also, I can recommend Oh My ZSH! which I have been using for years.

Here is a small list of aliases I enjoy (I have 100+ aliases and I tried to pick some others may enjoy as well):

# Serve current dir
alias serve="npx serve ."

# What's my IP?
alias ip="curl --silent --compressed --max-time 5 --url 'https://ipinfo.io/ip' && echo ''"

# This should be the default
alias mkdir="mkdir -p"

# Nice git helpers
alias amend="git add . && git commit --amend --no-edit"
alias nuke="git clean -df && git reset --hard"

# Make which more powerful
which='(alias; declare -f) | /usr/bin/which --tty-only --read-alias --read-functions --show-tilde --show-dot'

# This saves so many keystrokes, honestly
alias -- +x="chmod +x"

# Turns your path into a nice list and prints it
alias path='echo -e ${PATH//:/\\n}'

# Map over arguments and run a command
# Usage: map <command>
# Example: ls | map cat
alias map="xargs -n1"

And, finally, here are some fun functions:

# Get cheat sheets for almost anything!
# https://github.com/chubin/cheat.sh
cheat() {
    WITH_PLUS=$(echo $@ | sed 's/ /+/g')
    CAT_TOOL=$(command -v batcat || command -v bat || command -v cat)
    curl "cheat.sh/$WITH_PLUS" | $CAT_TOOL
}

# Send everything to /dev/null
nullify() {
  "$@" >/dev/null 2>&1
}

# Create a new dir and enter it
mk() {
  mkdir -p "$@" && cd "$_"
}

# Create a data URL from a file
# Source: https://github.com/mathiasbynens/dotfiles/blob/master/.functions
data-url() {
	local mimeType=$(file -b --mime-type "$1");
	if [[ $mimeType == text/* ]]; then
		mimeType="${mimeType};charset=utf-8";
	fi
	echo "data:${mimeType};base64,$(openssl base64 -in "$1" | tr -d '\n')";
}

As per the title, is anyone into hacking about with Firestick devices and getting some world free IPTV?

Essentially it's just Kodi with plugins and Add-ons, and they're generally just python scripts anyway.

I've just fallen down this rabbit hole after a friend said he'd gotten a Firestick off a bloke down the pub for £75 for the year. He said its Sky Glass and loads of box sets and what not.

A quick inspection and it's not Sky Glass, it's a custom skin for an IPTV player. The box sets are a mix of Real Debrid links and what looks to be the Eupherium plug in which uses torrents. Straight away I threw a VPN on his stick with the killswitch enabled.

Anyway, I decided to see what I could with basics on my own Firestick for free. I used Kodi, Eupherium, The Crew's Daddy Live, The Loop, and a sports plug in. I managed to set up Electronic Program Guide (EPG) for most of it. I used Surfshark from the get go as this is all dodgy, but it's purely for experimental purposes.

It's great doing this for free but there are some downsides:

Channels are hit and miss whether they are even near HD quality. Streams are often low fps and you need to rely on interpolation on the TV to smooth the stream out.

Kodi often crashes during use or startup requiring a cache clearance.

Steams change often. They can be great one day, the next that IPTV is dead and you need to pick another which may or may not work.

I realise there is a whole underground network for private streams and people are making serious bank selling these for PPV access alone.

What are people's thoughts on all of this? I work in the TV industry and it's bad for businesses, but at the same time, there are far too many fat cats around making this industry drown.

Just though it might be nice to have a space for general EV discussion here on Tildes. The only other space I know of to talk on the subject is r/electricvehicles, which has gotten big enough to get polarized and echo-chambery… prepare to get bombarded if you say anything positive about EV models from Japanese manufacturers or suggest that a used Chevy Bolt isn’t a great fit for everybody, for example.

Anyway, what is everybody driving and how do you like it? Has it given you any trouble? Any upcoming models you’re excited about or interested in? If you don’t drive one now, is there a model you’re eying?

Right now I’m driving a 2023 Nissan Ariya Platinum+, which I chose because it’s what I could get a reasonable lease deal on without too much trouble. It’s been great for the most part but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t total overkill for my needs… something more like a modernized electric Golf would better fit me, but those don’t exist in the US, so here I am.

The upcoming model I’m most interested in is by far the Rivian R3. It’s sized about the same as a Golf, the retro styling is cool, and its got several high-utility features that make it almost seem like a reincarnation of the Toyota Matrix (fold flat seats including front passenger, back hatch window that can open to accommodate long objects, etc) without the Matrix’s weaknesses. The Pacific Northwest inspired interior of the higher end R3X model looks gorgeous too and is a welcome departure from the sterile grayscale interiors that EVs have become known for.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.