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    1. Using work OSX machine while travelling

      I will shortly be travelling for work. I do not have the capacity to bring anything other than my work machine. In addition to working every day I would like to: legally stream movies in the...

      I will shortly be travelling for work. I do not have the capacity to bring anything other than my work machine. In addition to working every day I would like to: legally stream movies in the evening, work on writing, email friends etc. At home of course I use a separate laptop for this but in this case I won't have that option. Any thoughts on how best to achieve a separation of concerns while travelling? How do people on Tildes manage this case?

      p.s I know in a best case scenario it's not ideal, hence my behaviour at home, I just need a working method for this particular case.

      12 votes
    2. Help: Dual sim mobile phone replacement

      I bought a Pixel 6 Pro unlocked a couple of years ago as my long term phone. It's what I like to do, buy a phone for 5+ years of use and get a cheap sim card. It's fine. If I could choose again I...

      I bought a Pixel 6 Pro unlocked a couple of years ago as my long term phone. It's what I like to do, buy a phone for 5+ years of use and get a cheap sim card. It's fine. If I could choose again I would have got the Samsung flagship instead.
      I've since moved country and I'm in need of a dual sim phone (because I don't want 2 phones) for my home country and new one. But guess what, Pixel 6 pro is a single sim phone.
      So that puts me in an uncomfortable position where I don't want to get a new phone yet (I'm 3 years out what I wanted to run this phone to) but I'd hate to get a second, crap phone just for a new number.

      If I need to replace the Pixem, I would like to get another flagship (or close to) if possible. I like the bells and whistles. I simply wanted to avoid rebuying so early and see if there were options I had not yet considered.

      It was suggested to try and recycle the Pixel, I'd get maybe €200 for it if I'm lucky, and it would help taking the cost out of a replacement flagship, but would still be expensive.

      Any other suggestions for how I could navigate this?

      Edit: thanks to @thecakeisalime for the esim suggestion. I've contacted my home network and got transfered to an esim in genuinely 15 minutes. That's opened the sim slot for the new number. Pretty much perfect solution!

      9 votes
    3. Decent Android mobile phones with good audio (and has a 3.5mm jack) recently released?

      Hi all, Been looking for a new mobile lately to replace my V20 (still havent found one but my criteria has changed). Looking for (im trying to avoid buying an mp player - not as if there are many...

      Hi all,
      Been looking for a new mobile lately to replace my V20 (still havent found one but my criteria has changed). Looking for (im trying to avoid buying an mp player - not as if there are many options left)

      3.5mm headphone jack
      good/great audio (has good internal dac -- not looking for great speaker output)
      good battery life
      5G
      dual sim
      has to be something that lasts (had V20 for 7 years)
      Not going to be used for gaming. Mainly scrolling, forums etc
      Any suggestions ?
      Or am i stuck with something in Sony range (i know bit overpriced but oh well..)
      or getting an older V60 (not keen as the battery life wont be good now imho).
      thanks
      N

      28 votes
    4. How do you try to be generous?

      One of the qualities I appreciate the most in people is generosity, however I’ve come to realise that I am not particularly generous and I don’t think many people in my family are either. I try my...

      One of the qualities I appreciate the most in people is generosity, however I’ve come to realise that I am not particularly generous and I don’t think many people in my family are either.

      I try my best to help people as much as I can at work, but I can’t say I’ve done much more than that.

      I’d love to hear what you do to be generous.

      27 votes
    5. What Is A Secure Note-Taking App?

      I've been using Google's Keep Notes for all my note-taking, but I would like to shift away from that and use an app that is more secure. I've heard of Notion and Evernote but I'm not sure about...

      I've been using Google's Keep Notes for all my note-taking, but I would like to shift away from that and use an app that is more secure. I've heard of Notion and Evernote but I'm not sure about their level of security/encryption. Any suggestions?

      20 votes
    6. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      9 votes
    7. Movie of the Week #16 - The Aviator

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      First Martin Scorsese this time around with the animated The Aviator from 2004.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Are you familiar with other of Martin Scorsese's movies and how do you like this compared to his other movies? Feel free to add any thoughts, opinions, reflections, analysis or whatever comments related to this film.


      The rest of the schedule for February is:

      • 19th: Batman Begins
      • 26th: Gangs of New York
      12 votes
    8. The body keeps the score, even when the memory has been completely erased

      I'm not here to talk about the New York Times bestseller, so apologies to anyone who's come looking for an informed discussion on that. Apologies if I'm posting this in the incorrect place, please...

      I'm not here to talk about the New York Times bestseller, so apologies to anyone who's come looking for an informed discussion on that. Apologies if I'm posting this in the incorrect place, please move or delete the post if it's inappropriate. I had something of a breakthrough in therapy recently and I don't have anyone to share this with (for reasons that may become obvious) so I'm turning to Tildes to vomit these thoughts out into the world somewhere.

      Like a lot of us growing older, I've been spending a some time trying to better understand myself and come to peace with the person I am. One of the aspects people around me (and myself) find perplexing is how I'm able to be personable and friendly, even popular in some circles, but given the choice I will stay away from people as much as possible (except for a very select few I can count on one hand). I often joke that if it weren't for my wife and kids I'd probably be feral and live in the woods, bite anyone who tries to get too close. That lady that lived alone in a cave for over a year? Life goals. I thought I was just a mega introvert, but something my therapist and I discussed made me realise that that side of my personality may be (at least partly?) a manifestation of past trauma. So here is my villain origin story.

      I've shared before on Tildes that I was very sick with cancer for a good chunk of my infancy. Whenever someone finds out I had cancer (it's left fairly visible marks, so the topic inevitably comes up) I always say it's ok, I don't remember it at all, so really it's my parents who lived through the trauma, not me, ha ha. I no longer believe that is entirely true. The body does keep the score after all. My therapist pointed out that I must have spent many moments alone dealing with the consequences, unable to fully share or understand what I was going through. Moments where I was physically manipulated whichever way, by people and instruments, dealing the nausea, the pain and the fatigue. I was too young to fully articulate my distress, ask for help (beyond crying) or seek solutions to the problems I faced. So for some moments at least I had only myself to rely on. Did the part of me that would normally seek out others die a little then?

      My parents used to remark that as a child I never cried out, just tears streaming silently down my face. They speak of how I used to play contentedly alone for hours. How I rarely asked for help when I really needed it. Don't get me wrong, I'm able to form relationships with people, and I'm perfectly capable of functioning in society. I do seek out others for company, connection, validation, love, etc, and vice versa. But I can't shake the feeling that there's something broken in those connections. It feels like something is amiss, even if I've mostly come to terms with being this way. I'm left thinking - did the trauma (at least partly) make me who I am? Where does the trauma end and where do I begin? How many of us are potentially totally different people today because the body remembers when we have completely and utterly forgotten? And if that's the case, is that...ok?

      48 votes
    9. Northern hemisphere gardeners - share your 2024 plans!

      Please share your garden plans, ideas, and wildly overambitious green fantasies here! Weird and treacherous climate change weather is distorting my garden sense. Normally, it's not a good idea to...

      Please share your garden plans, ideas, and wildly overambitious green fantasies here!

      Weird and treacherous climate change weather is distorting my garden sense. Normally, it's not a good idea to plant anything tender until late May here, but I'm betting we won't get frost past May 1 this year, or nothing that can't be handled with strategic use of row covers and cloches.

      My fingers are itching to get the hot peppers started. I'm restraining myself from starting the tomatoes too early (again!), and the snapdragons and other slow annual flowers are starting to germinate. I could probably sow kale now.

      We'll see which of last year's bulbs survived the critters until the spring. Reinforcement of the deer fencing is happening as soon as the ground is thawed deeply enough to set proper posts, and dry enough to work with wood frames and cattle panel.

      I'm going to get a few logs set up for shiitakes, oysters, maitake, and maybe see if last year's happenstance wood chip pile morels can be encouraged. Fingers-crossed that December's wild garlic (ramps) test planting took hold - if that works, I'll get more slips and expand the patch in more of the shady areas that aren't suitable for much else.

      Depending on how my hands and spouse's shoulders are holding up, there's a lot of digging in this year's permaculture expansion. A couple of Hugelkultur beds, some (mostly?) American chestnut trees, more berries and apples, planting the overwintered pawpaws, and another try at elderberries. I've got vague plans for building a grape arbor this year, but that's going to depend on availability of spouse's hands during the busy winery season.

      Looking forward to hearing from you!

      21 votes
    10. Are any of you AI gurus?

      As per subject really. I'm creating a project with the CEO at work and it's going to need some serious AI. I'm happy to speak about it here and take advice and tips for direction and resources....

      As per subject really.

      I'm creating a project with the CEO at work and it's going to need some serious AI. I'm happy to speak about it here and take advice and tips for direction and resources. I'm going to definitely be hiring real human resource to get this going though.

      The project is a masters library of video. Anyone that has seen me post before might know I run a server of roughly 10k of videos, all company IP, of TV shows from over the years. What I'd like to do is point AI at the video library and have it build out a serious database of information, or at least a sidecar JSON of information next to every video. Some things I really don't need AI for and can easy generate, such as video length, type, audio channels, codec, bitrate, etc. All of that can be gleamed with the usual suspect tools such as mediainfo or ffprobe. What I'd like AI to do is scan for faces and identify names of celebs (if possible), sections of video at 5 seconds in length containing railway, trees, cars, etc logged to build out a database of video that we have. It would also need to log time codes of where these clips are and for how long.

      I know it sounds like a crazy project, but it will be fun and possibly the start of a new product which I would open source. Don't tell my boss that but if we're using open source models and free shit to create these awesome beast, I'd want to give back to the community.

      So, ideas on where I would find people interested and talented with this sort of thing? Any thoughts on what else you'd think I should target to capture from a massive video library? I will be grabbing the clock card info too so OCR is a must.

      Soooo much to think about. Project plan coming up.

      21 votes
    11. New Music Fridays: Kacey Musgraves, Little Simz, Usher and more

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your...

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your eye and interest, or share your thoughts about any new music that you've had the chance to listen to this week.

      Discussion Points
      Is there anything you've been looking forward to listening to?
      Any releases that have surprised you?
      Have you listened to any new music recently? What are your thoughts?
      What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past? How does their latest work compare?

      Links:
      Pitchfork - Out This Week
      AllMusic - All New Releases
      Stereogum - New Music

      ~~ Feedback on the format welcome
      9 votes
    12. New Music Fridays: The Last Dinner Party, Kirin J Calinan, Burial and more

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your...

      This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your eye and interest, or share your thoughts about any new music that you've had the chance to listen to this week.

      Discussion Points

      Is there anything you've been looking forward to listening to?
      Any releases that have surprised you?
      Have you listened to any new music recently? What are your thoughts?
      What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past? How does their latest work compare?

      ~~ Feedback on the format welcome

      5 votes
    13. Any tips for games for two or more players?

      Hey, I would love some recommendations for games that works well for just two players but would also work with more. I’d like to get less screen time and think tabletop games would be great for...

      Hey, I would love some recommendations for games that works well for just two players but would also work with more.
      I’d like to get less screen time and think tabletop games would be great for that purpose.
      Do you have any recommendations for games you’ve really enjoyed, thank you!

      16 votes
    14. How do you date?

      Recently had a conversation with a good friend about dating, and it had me curious about how everyone on Tildes approaches dating. Tell me a bit about how you date! Here's a few prompts/thoughts...

      Recently had a conversation with a good friend about dating, and it had me curious about how everyone on Tildes approaches dating. Tell me a bit about how you date! Here's a few prompts/thoughts I'm curious about:

      • How long does it take for you to know if you're attracted to someone (sexually, romantically, emotionally, shared interests, etc)?
      • What do you like to do when you date and does it change depending on how many dates you've been on or how well you know the person?
      • Once you start dating someone, how long does it take you to understand whether you want to date the person long term or whether it's not going to work out?
      • Do you only date people you meet in real life or do you use dating apps? How do you approach going from stranger to dating them?
      • What's most important in deciding whether you want to date someone? Do they need to have an interest in activities you enjoy, shared values, emotional intelligence, a certain kind of humor, or something else?
      • Is there something you don't understand about dating and want to share your frustration?
      33 votes
    15. Steam Next Fest: what have you been playing?

      For those out of the loop, Steam Next Fest is a week long event (Feb. 5 - Feb. 12) celebrating upcoming games through demos and developer livestreams. Which demos have you been playing, and which...

      For those out of the loop, Steam Next Fest is a week long event (Feb. 5 - Feb. 12) celebrating upcoming games through demos and developer livestreams.

      Which demos have you been playing, and which releases are you looking forward to?

      30 votes
    16. What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga)

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was...

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

      If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

      7 votes
    17. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      5 votes
    18. Help: iPhone SE (2020) home button not working; “Unable to Activate Touch ID”

      Really hoping there’s an easy fix for this, because it’s making using my phone a pain. Relevant info: I never actually set up a fingerprint, and have only used passwords. phone memory is almost...

      Really hoping there’s an easy fix for this, because it’s making using my phone a pain. Relevant info:

      • I never actually set up a fingerprint, and have only used passwords.
      • phone memory is almost full (I have too many photos I still haven’t offloaded, I don’t use iCloud)
      • I did drop the phone earlier today, but there was no visible external damage
      • case does not cover the home button
      • I’ve tried force restart, it didn’t work
      7 votes
    19. Butcher block countertops - stain and finishing

      Howdy all, TL;DR - Installed new cabinets, picked up new butcher block countertops to match existing. Stained it - using the Minwax stain and planned on using Watco Butcher Block finish to finish...

      Howdy all,

      TL;DR - Installed new cabinets, picked up new butcher block countertops to match existing. Stained it - using the Minwax stain and planned on using Watco Butcher Block finish to finish it. I am concerned about food safety and health. Note I am not using these as actual cutting boards. Just countertops. Would using the Watco finish be safe/sufficient for sealing the stain?

      So to give a little context, my wife and I moved into our home close to 5 years ago. The person who flipped our house put in standard big box birch butcher block countertops. We like them! They stained them a nice dark color and we have not thought much about them. From what they mentioned, they "finished" the counters with the Watco Butcher Block finish. Occasionally the areas near the sink get grey and dry from water and could use a clean/restoration. Of which I have been using Howard butcher block conditioner and I think it does a great job of giving the wood some life.

      Now I finally got around to installing some more cabinets, and I picked up another countertop. Obviously wanting it to match, I just used the same Minwax stain that the flipper used. I had planned on sanding all of the old countertops re-applying the stain and then coating in some urethane-like topcoat in hopes of helping stop the discoloration and make the counter more durable.

      This lead me down a rabbit hole of a bunch of people online basically yelling about putting anything other than butcher block finish or mineral oil on butcher block countertops and how its not food safe/toxic. So naturally this kind of freaked me out. Is the stain on the current counters harmful? Do I need to sand everything and then reapply with just a food safe option? Can I just sand and add a poly topcoat? Or am I fine to just have the stain on it and use the Watco butcher block finish? AM I POISONING MYSELF?!

      I would like to add we do not use these countertops as actual cutting boards. We always use a "real" cutting board.

      Really I am just looking for some advice or a sanity check to make sure I'm not harming ourselves. Hoping this could also help someone else learn without having to do it the hard way.

      Thanks all so much for any info anyone is willing to provide.

      10 votes
    20. Syncthing on a VPS questions

      I've been using syncthing for a while now and more recently I've started to use a VPS but I find it to be a mild pain in the ass to setup and I'm wondering if there's a better way or just how are...

      I've been using syncthing for a while now and more recently I've started to use a VPS but I find it to be a mild pain in the ass to setup and I'm wondering if there's a better way or just how are you administering?

      I've been just editing the config.xml file and restarting it. It feels clunky editing it in nano especially when I have to delete a folder or remove a device.

      I'm starting up on a new VPS and doing this initial setup again is mildly frustrating.

      Another question, a friend is also going to be backing up some files onto this server (both of us treating it as untrusted), would it be better practice to set up 2 users each running their own syncthing@user service or just have it all under one?

      9 votes
    21. Movie of the Week #15 - Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      First superhero movie this time around with the animated Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse from 2018.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Are you familiar with Spiderman, from other movies or the comic - and how does it compare? Have you seen the sequel Across the Spider-Verse? All comments are welcome.


      The rest of the schedule for February is:

      • 12th: The Aviator
      • 19th: Batman Begins
      • 26th: Gangs of New York
      19 votes
    22. Tildes Video Thread

      Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you. It...

      Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you.

      It could be one quirky video that you feel deserves some eyeballs on it, or perhaps you've got a curated list of videos that you'd love to talk us through...

      Share some of the best video content you've watched this past week/fortnight with us!

      8 votes
    23. Side projects that were actually good?

      Weezer are great but Matt Sharp's side project The Rentals were also great. The first album - Return of the Rentals shows pretty heavy Weezer influence in places, but female vocalists, violins,...

      Weezer are great but Matt Sharp's side project The Rentals were also great.

      The first album - Return of the Rentals shows pretty heavy Weezer influence in places, but female vocalists, violins, keyboards, bring a chaotic fun. I dunno, I was alive at the time and maybe it hasn't aged well?

      Anyway: what side projects do you think we actually good?

      34 votes
    24. What programming/technical projects have you been working on?

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's...

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

      18 votes
    25. Moral purism, personal responsibility, and dysfunctional standards

      This is a post about the topics mentioned in the title, and how they are related in my life. I suspect it might provide a point of consideration and discussion for other members, as I provide an...

      This is a post about the topics mentioned in the title, and how they are related in my life. I suspect it might provide a point of consideration and discussion for other members, as I provide an argument that could be applied to other people and situations.

      For good or bad, I put much value on morality, and see the world through a moralizing lens. This is not necessarily a case of reducing everything to "evil choices", it's more complicated than that, but it's been bothering me for a long while. It's partially because I often find myself judging myself too harshly, especially after failing to live up to my moral ideals.

      For example, I don't like overconsumption and the surrounding hyperconsumerist ideology, so I hadn't bought any sort of "geeky" merchandise for some years. It's because, even though I thoroughly enjoy fictional works, there's this hyperconsumerist ideology and culture surrounding geekdom. So I thought, and to some extent still think, that buying any kind of merchandise was being tricked by the system.

      I bought a simple merchandise item -a mug- the other day, which prompted me to question why I bought it. It feels shameful to write even now, but it's because I thought I should treat myself to something. It was cute, after all. When I thought about this issue, I realized certain things.

      For starters, I put too much emphasis on personal responsibility when it comes to moral issues. One reason is I tend to blame myself. I often question myself first before questioning others or the wider picture. Another reason is that there are many, many moral tales that emphasize the role of personal responsibility. Too many stories have the hero look down on the villain and declare: "There's always a choice." And then the hero explicitly or implicitly says the villain just wasn't strong enough.

      I think this is to a great degree due to how personal responsibility is mythologized in the contemporary culture. Abrahamic religions often put much emphasis on choosing the morally good choice. After all, the whole afterlife dichotomy is built upon this idea. Furthermore, with the "Enlightenment", the idea that individuals are rational and free to choose has become very prominent. So, both pre-modern and modern beliefs about morality puts much emphasis on personal responsibility.

      This has different effects on different people, and I recognize that my experience is not necessarily generalizable, but I do think that it provides a kind of insight on some issues. At least for some people. Basically, I've come to realize that ethical issues have more of an emotional impact on me than most people. I also have a dysfunctional pattern of trying to live up to unreasonable standards. When these two and the emphasis on personal responsibility were combined, it created a very difficult pattern for me. It made me more vulnerable to moral purism.

      I've recently realized why this moral purist tendency is straining for me, and there's a very simple why: it's because it's a thought that belongs to a fictional, idealized world. It doesn't consider the complexities and realities of the world I live in, it demands that I should live in that fictional, ideal world. In other words, it fails me, because it doesn't recognize that I'm a human with real needs and wants.

      I don't mean this in the cliche "Oh, humans are imperfect," way, because that way of thinking still puts the moral purist way on a pedastal. It just tells you that you are weak and imperfect, and tells you to compromise. I think this is not a good way of looking at it, because it still reinforces the idealized thinking. It just tells you to make concessions, which is unacceptable to a perfectionist.

      Instead, I say that it's a shitty psychology. This way of thinking doesn't consider how a human mind works, what it needs to be healthy and happy, and the overall workings of the world. Healthy thinking comes from being able to cope with realities of the world—in a way, it's being in tune with the reality you live in, and that necessitates recognizing your own emotional needs and wants. Moral purism encourages you to neglect your own emotional needs in pursuit of some fictional, impossible person you want to be. It's a fantasy.

      In this context, it's healthy to come to terms with your own limits as a single person. The wider picture should be considered. For example, in my situation, buying merchandise now and then doesn't make me a bad person, nor does it make this act morally bad. I live under capitalism, and no matter what I do, as long as I continue to live in a society, I will always contribute to its workings (and healthy people don't go "off the grid"). From my point of view, it's bad that doing things I love contributes to an inequalizing system, but in no reasonable way should I be expected to give up what little or moderate joys I get by participating in this system. Of course, there should be a limit regarding consumption, but the bar is certainly not as high as I thought.

      This is my personal experience with moral purism. I think the culture of overemphasis on personal responsibility feeds into it. What are your thoughts about it? Have you had similar experiences? The don't have to be about consumerism, as moral purism is seen many, unrelated issues.

      Note: This goes without saying, but this post doesn't suggest that having a better world in mind and striving for it is bad. It just criticizes an unhealthy way of approaching the mentioned topics.

      16 votes
    26. Eye glasses, especially myopia - what's real what's myth?

      Kid's vision just keeps getting worse: it's -3.0 now in one eye. The rate at which I have to get the kid's vision tested and new glasses (plural because kid) is alarming. My husband and I both...

      Kid's vision just keeps getting worse: it's -3.0 now in one eye. The rate at which I have to get the kid's vision tested and new glasses (plural because kid) is alarming.

      My husband and I both have 20/20, as did both our parents before they got old people eye stuff....so I'm really new to the world of prescription glasses.

      What's real and what are just old wives tales? Go outside more, get sun, limit screen time, don't read in the dark, these are kind of obvious but are they scientifically backed? I take super terrible care of my eyes and eyeballs are nearly touching the screens all day and I still have 20/20.....

      Eye drops that fix your eyes? Omega 3 do anything or just in general a good nutrient for everyone?

      Myopia control lenses (Miyosmart) -- legit or marketing hype? They seem to be a bunch of money and the brochures / site reads a bit like marketing nonsense...... How does a piece of lens fix eyeballs?

      Did you get Lasik? Is it still the thing to do for correction, and has it gotten better? Could my kid reach a point where even Lasik can't help?

      When did you get glasses and did the uh, progression (?) slow down or get better with age?

      Edit: what about blue light lenses?

      24 votes
    27. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like polyamory, caramelization and parking. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like polyamory, caramelization and parking. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was studious.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      23 votes
    28. What to do with shishito peppers besides blistering or charring?

      I bought a bag of shishito peppers to replicate a blistered appetizer from a restaurant. Do they also work well in curries, stews, stir frys or chilis? Every recipe online I've found (minus a...

      I bought a bag of shishito peppers to replicate a blistered appetizer from a restaurant. Do they also work well in curries, stews, stir frys or chilis? Every recipe online I've found (minus a shrimp sinigang) is pretty much the same cooking method, just different seasoning. 😅

      16 votes
    29. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      6 votes
    30. How to avoid making other people angry on the internet

      I have, at times, experienced that opinions I share online fails to win people over, to the extent that the essence of the thread transforms from that of an exchange of ideas into that of a...

      I have, at times, experienced that opinions I share online fails to win people over, to the extent that the essence of the thread transforms from that of an exchange of ideas into that of a shitstorm.

      Curiously, this is seldom caused by me having controversial views. I’m not especially hateful, and I don’t hold any conservative core ideas, such as advocating for an even less equal society or attacking or belittling various minority groups. If it were just that, then there would be no mystery; my views horrible, and for that reason, they provoke a strong reaction. But despite this not being the case, my views, which are truly very civilised and boring indeed, are sometimes intepreted in interesting ways.

      I think the issue is me not expressing myself as well as I could. Assuming this to be the case, what follow is my own notes on how to better get your (mine) ideas across without misunderstandings.

      Beware of the shortcoming of contemporary writing

      Most of todays readers do not read. Rather, they impatiently give the text a quick glimpse, their brain already craving the next bit of novelty. I've noticed this in myself when I impatiently select random random test when trying to get my brain to read a text online. What's more, those who write has begin taking into account that their audience does not read. This has spawned a peculiar writing style which, for the first time in history(?), is designed not to actually be read, but merely glimpsed through.

      It mostly consist of short paragraphs.

      Often just a single sentence.

      Sometimes two sentences. Maybe three. Four sentences are considered the max.

      To help readers easier skim through it.

      Read more: How can you write web content that people can skim?

      If actually read, it has a staccato-like feel.

      Almost like free verse poetry.

      There are other characteristica too.

      • Scattering links throughout.
      • Inserting “Read more about“ references to other articles.
      • Inserting list such as this one.
      • Adding heaps of headlines.

      I guess pretty much everyone have seen this particular style, and, to some degree, adapted it themselves. So there is a tendency to naturally try to boil everything down to a single, ultra-short paragraph. However, human language is not computer code; trying to destill a deeper set of ideas down to a Xwitter-length sentence will inevitably cause its fragile essence to be lost in translation. There is a reason why books are the length of, well, books, and not just the SparkNotes summary thereoff.

      To build upon this idea, note that most dog-whistles comes in the form of a single, short sentence, as the shortness, unlike computer code, make it vague, opening it up for multiple interpretations. Indeed, some dog whistles doesn’t contain any words at all, but consists of a single emoji, such as “milk” or “the OK sign”.

      If you write about more elusive fluffy ideas, ideas where your angle runs the risk of being read the wrong way, your writing has to go all the way, fully exposing your point with absolute clarity. You have to show it from every angle to make your vision travel through the written words and into the mind of the reader.

      Sleep on it

      If you aren’t sure you got everything right, no rush. You can always wait a bit, and go over it later.

      Don’t accidently target other users

      Lets say that someone posts the notorious recipe “Chicken and ham extravaganta”, and say that they don’t think society should go vegan because a balanced diet is better than a green one. You just happen to have a bunch of replies to that. For one thing, flesh food is not traditionally balanced, but centered around the meat, with everything else being mere decoration. Also, there are lots of protein sources other than meat. But most importantly, the vegan movement is not about what is the most healthy diet, but about it being morally wrong to kill a sentient creature just to eat its meat.

      But this is a general argument about veganism. If you write it as a reply to someone recomendinging a “Chicken and ham extravaganta”, you’re essentially calling them a bad person.

      So don’t reply. If you want to push your point, at least wait a bit and then create a new post, so you don’t target a specific user.

      Don’t drink and post

      Nope. Just don’t.

      Avoid provocateur headlines

      I might have given this post the headline “How to speak honestly without being banned for misogyny, racism, transphobia, and fascism”, or maybe “I was banned and censored on tilde.net. Here’s my conclusions.” Headlines which are undeniably more juicy, more clickbaity, if you will. You can almost smell the raising adrenaline. Controversy! Read all about it!

      To me, this is hard to resist, because I really love the aethetic of blatant, vulgar marketing. But it also tends to backfire more often than not.

      Also, even if the actual content of my post is okay, people who have experienced racism or transphobia might not be super thrilled about me playing around with racism and transphobia in my headline. Saying something “jokingly” is still saying it.

      As an aside, me being temporary banned and having my posts deleted was what inspired me to write this post. I don’t have anything much to say about this itself, other than I would have liked it if removed post had a line about the reason for removal, and I would also note that, if you get banned, the red text bleed into be backgrund in a way which is aestetically displeasing.

      Diversity reading

      You might try mentally test reading your post from the perspective of groups which play a role in the content of your post. After all, if you talk about someone, you should be able to say it to their face. Also, it is entirely possible that your post will be read by those you talk about.

      Take the rules for being a good listener, then invert them

      Listening is a skill which most people haven’t learned. So when you speak your mind, it is worth taking precautions for the likely scenario that your readers will not follow the rules for the optimal listener. So let’s try inverting the rules:

      When listening to others, always give their view the most generous intepretation —> If your words can be interpreted as ignorant, biggoted, or fashy, they will be, always.

      Truly listen to others and try to understand them before giving your answer —> Assume that people will skim through your post.

      I want to point out that (in bold and uppercase just for the heck of it) I DON’T SAY THIS TO WHINE ABOUT BAD PEOPLE READING MY POSTS UNFAIRLY. Nope, absolute nope. My point is the exact opposite; I have a deeply held belief that any writer or author who is “misunderstood” could have avoided it by writing better. The writer should be expected to know his audience and know how to write in circles around any potential misintepretation.

      Got that? Ok. Let’s look at what we can do to address those two issues.

      If your words can be interpreted as ignorant, biggoted, or fashy, they will be, always.

      When writing a post, I sometimes get the notion that something I write might be taken the wrong way. But then I forget about it, because I’m busy building a clever metaphor finding just the right word. And without fail, my post get misinterpreted in exactly that way I thought it would. So always listen to that little voice. In my experience, it is seldom wrong.

      This is not just to avoid you getting trashed online. Another more important aspect which is typically overlooked, is that if your post can, somehow, be misinterpreted in horrible ways, it may also be read as such by people who truly hold those views, people who then sees you as an ally. You really don’t want that.

      Sometimes it is a simple matter of changing your phrasing. Other times, directly stating what you do or do not believe is in order.

      Assume that people will skim through your post.

      While you can’t predict exactly how our post is going to be skimmed through, It is likely that they will have read your headline. So use that as leverage to push your most important points, or the general vibe of your post. Your first paragraph is likely to be read too. If your post is longer, you can also add subheaders with key info. You can also use the inverted pyramid structure, leading with the information any reader must know, followed by things which will grant them greater understanding, and ending with the interesting nice to know stuff.

      This is what I got so far! If you got any advice of your own, please share!

      34 votes
    31. Hurt my lower back by bending over, any tips for healing and comfort?

      Ah, being 30. I haven't been 30 for even a full month yet, but I'm already feeling it. I bent over to pet one of my smaller kittens, except I kept doing it for longer than usual. Normally I'd pick...

      Ah, being 30. I haven't been 30 for even a full month yet, but I'm already feeling it. I bent over to pet one of my smaller kittens, except I kept doing it for longer than usual. Normally I'd pick it up and pet it, but not this time.

      Now my lower back is aching and it hurts to move, especially trying to turn over in bed (I'm a side sleeper). It will eventually stop hurting until I need to change my posture or position again. It's better today than it was yesterday so it is healing. There have been no sharp pains, numbness in the legs or anything, etc. Just a strong ache. It's a bit difficult to walk, but it's manageable.

      As for whether it's a slipped disk, pulled muscle, etc, I truly don't know. This has happened before in similar situations, so I'm expecting it'll happen again, probably more often as I get older.

      Does anyone know some tips to speed up the healing process, and what I can do to improve my comfort while healing? I already know to take it easy, put ice on it, and take Advil, so I'm looking for other tips besides those.

      25 votes
    32. Notifications are ads

      This is a thought I've been having a lot lately. It seems like 90% of notifications I get these days both on my phone and computer are ads begging me to either: upgrade a service I already have...

      This is a thought I've been having a lot lately. It seems like 90% of notifications I get these days both on my phone and computer are ads begging me to either: upgrade a service I already have ("you're running out of space on [insert cloud service here] at 75% usage will you please UPGRADE?") or re-engage with an app that hasn't sucked enough of my attention ("we MISS you! PLEASE engage!"), with the remaining tiny minority being useful actionable information. I've noticed too that social media notifications NEVER give you enough detail about something that's going on to not have to open the app directly. It's kind of exhausting to the point where I've disabled most notifications on my devices altogether. I don't really know the point of this post other than to commiserate and to simply open it up for discussion. Thoughts?

      EDIT: WOW this blew up! Thanks everyone for your contributions!

      101 votes
    33. MangaLove, a series sharing thread: February 2024

      Choose one series that you love that you think deserves more love Tell us what it is, and why. Previous posts in the series Additional Details Why MangaLove? Finding new series is hard! The medium...

      Choose one series
      that you love
      that you think deserves more love

      Tell us what it is, and why.


      Previous posts in the series


      Additional Details

      Why MangaLove?

      Finding new series is hard! The medium continues to become more mainstream and accessible, but that hasn't changed the fact that there's a lot of stuff to consume and few ways to find something you may like.

      MangaLove offers an opportunity to sift through series loved by others, including those who might have divergent tastes from you. Think of this as an opportunity to venture outside of your comfort zone, with a series that you know someone else adores, from a small pool of thoughtful hand-selected options.

      Is this just for Manga? Can I share Anime, or Manhwa, or...

      Feel free to share any Anime, Manga, Manhwa, or Manhua that you love!

      What do I post?

      Any series that you love and that you feel deserves more appreciation. There are no restrictions on genre, year, or anything else, and nothing is “too popular” or “too niche”. If you think it needs more love — for whatever reason — then it’s welcome in MangaLove.

      Please make sure to include:

      • The series name
      • The author
      • A short description of the premise
      • What you love about the series. It could be the story, the art, but it could also be your associations with it -- maybe the series reminds you of someone you love, or the period in your life when you first consume it.

      Also, commenting on others' recommendations is encouraged! If you love something that someone else shared, let them know!

      Do I have to watch/read to what everyone else posts?

      Nope. You don't have to consume anything you don't want to. This is about creating a menu of options that people can explore as they wish.

      Can I post more than one series in a month?

      Nope. Limit one! This helps us be more selective about what we choose, as well as preventing the threads from getting flooded with too many contributions to keep track of.

      16 votes
    34. Can anyone recommend a printer/scanner combo that works with Linux with no additional drivers?

      I'm looking for a black & white laser printer with a scanner for home office use. The only fancy thing about it is that I'm running Linux and I don't want to install any driver packages from the...

      I'm looking for a black & white laser printer with a scanner for home office use. The only fancy thing about it is that I'm running Linux and I don't want to install any driver packages from the manufacturer. I want to plug it into any laptop running any Linux distro and start printing and scanning with no fuss.

      Brother printers are very popular, but if I search for any Brother printer and "linux", all I can find is stuff about the drivers and how to fix the various issues that come with those.

      If I understand correctly, modern printers should just work via something called IPP/AirPrint and they should also work over USB. Is that correct?

      What about the scanner? Does that also just work over IPP?

      29 votes
    35. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      9 votes
    36. What has being LGBT taught you?

      What are some of the lessons you've learned about life, love, gender, personhood, etc. because of your LGBT identity? What wisdom can you share with others here -- whether they share an identity...

      What are some of the lessons you've learned about life, love, gender, personhood, etc. because of your LGBT identity?

      What wisdom can you share with others here -- whether they share an identity with you or not?

      Also, "LGBT" here is being used as an umbrella term as it is in our community name of ~lgbt. It applies to any and all minority sexualities and gender identities. You do not have to be listed in the initialism to answer!

      30 votes
    37. AlbumLove (January 2024): 2000-2004

      Time Period: 2000-2004 Choose one album that you love that you think deserves more love Tell us what it is, and why. Previous posts in series Additional Details Why AlbumLove? In this day and age,...

      Time Period: 2000-2004


      Choose one album
      that you love
      that you think deserves more love

      Tell us what it is, and why.


      Previous posts in series


      Additional Details

      Why AlbumLove?

      In this day and age, algorithmic recommendations for music are easy to come by, and it's trivial to seek out new music that interests you by searching online. AlbumLove offers an opportunity to sift through music loved by others, including those who might have divergent tastes from you. Think of this as an opportunity to listen outside of your comfort zone, with music that you know someone else adores, from a small pool of thoughtful hand-selected options.

      What do I post?

      Any album that you love and that you feel deserves more appreciation. There are no restrictions on genre, year, or anything else, and nothing is “too popular” or “too niche”. If you think it needs more love — for whatever reason — then it’s welcome in AlbumLove.

      Name the artist and the album, and then, most importantly, share what you love about the album. It could be the music itself, but it could also be your associations with it -- maybe the album reminds you of someone you love, or you saw the band live and got a new appreciation for the studio songs.

      Also, commenting on others' recommendations is encouraged! If you love something that someone else shared, let them know!

      Do I have to listen to what everyone else posts?

      Nope. You don't have to listen to anything if you don't want to. This is about creating a menu of options that people can explore as they wish.

      Can I post more than one album in a month?

      Nope. Limit one! This helps us be more selective about what we choose, as well as preventing the threads from getting flooded with too many contributions to keep track of.

      Why albums and not songs/artists?

      I like albums. :)

      Seriously though, I feel like it's a very different thing to like an album as a whole versus a few songs or just an artist's general vibe. I like the idea of quantizing music for appreciation in the same way we might do with books or movies.

      What about EPs?

      Fair game!

      12 votes
    38. Learning and studying things without taking notes

      I'm curious if there's anybody here who's like this. Either doing it without writing things down, or doing it minimally. I don't know why but I find it very difficult to do, and it stops me from...

      I'm curious if there's anybody here who's like this. Either doing it without writing things down, or doing it minimally. I don't know why but I find it very difficult to do, and it stops me from actually learning/studying. I feel like it slows me down, significantly. It also feels like a chore. I feel like part of this may be because I'm in information security? Like, there's a lot of reading and researching going on, then immediate practicing and applying. Even when I have to take tests. I just read and listen or whatever else and that's it. Maybe in other fields, taking notes is a big thing, or maybe it's just me. I also have other interests, but yet still, I simply can't bring myself to write things down. I just prefer to absorb everything, in whatever pace I like, sometimes it's slow, sometimes it's fast. If I ever decide that I'm going to take notes while learning/studying, I'd stare at my notebook/software for a very long time. I'd sit with one chapter/slide for quite awhile. At the same time, I truly admire people who take notes and write stuff. I do wish I was like them sometimes. Is anybody out here the same? Even though I really want to hear from people who are similar, everyone else can join the discussion too. What do you do? How do you do it? What is your preference? Do you think there's a "better" way to do things? Could taking notes be "superior" to the opposite?

      27 votes
    39. AlbumLove (February 2024): 2005-2009

      Time Period: 2005-2009 Choose one album that you love that you think deserves more love Tell us what it is, and why. Previous posts in series Additional Details Why AlbumLove? In this day and age,...

      Time Period: 2005-2009


      Choose one album
      that you love
      that you think deserves more love

      Tell us what it is, and why.


      Previous posts in series


      Additional Details

      Why AlbumLove?

      In this day and age, algorithmic recommendations for music are easy to come by, and it's trivial to seek out new music that interests you by searching online. AlbumLove offers an opportunity to sift through music loved by others, including those who might have divergent tastes from you. Think of this as an opportunity to listen outside of your comfort zone, with music that you know someone else adores, from a small pool of thoughtful hand-selected options.

      What do I post?

      Any album that you love and that you feel deserves more appreciation. There are no restrictions on genre, year, or anything else, and nothing is “too popular” or “too niche”. If you think it needs more love — for whatever reason — then it’s welcome in AlbumLove.

      Name the artist and the album, and then, most importantly, share what you love about the album. It could be the music itself, but it could also be your associations with it -- maybe the album reminds you of someone you love, or you saw the band live and got a new appreciation for the studio songs.

      Also, commenting on others' recommendations is encouraged! If you love something that someone else shared, let them know!

      Do I have to listen to what everyone else posts?

      Nope. You don't have to listen to anything if you don't want to. This is about creating a menu of options that people can explore as they wish.

      Can I post more than one album in a month?

      Nope. Limit one! This helps us be more selective about what we choose, as well as preventing the threads from getting flooded with too many contributions to keep track of.

      Why albums and not songs/artists?

      I like albums. :)

      Seriously though, I feel like it's a very different thing to like an album as a whole versus a few songs or just an artist's general vibe. I like the idea of quantizing music for appreciation in the same way we might do with books or movies.

      What about EPs?

      Fair game!

      9 votes
    40. What creative projects have you been working on?

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on. Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just...

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

      Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

      If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

      20 votes
    41. Fridge recommendations?

      So our freezer is dying. Our fridge is over 20 years old and has served us well, but it's time to move on. Given the reputation of modern appliances, the proliferation of smart appliances, and the...

      So our freezer is dying. Our fridge is over 20 years old and has served us well, but it's time to move on. Given the reputation of modern appliances, the proliferation of smart appliances, and the current class-action lawsuit against LG and Kenmore over faulty compressors leading to fridges dying after just five years, I figured I'd ask for some recommendations on good brands.

      For specifics, we don't need or want any fancy features beyond an ice maker. We'd prefer it to not have any smart features, just a good old simple fridge/freezer that can be expected to function fine for years (again, we've had the current one for 20 years). My mom says she'd prefer a fridge with a bottom freezer compartment, but I don't think that's a deal-breaker (our current one is a side-by-side) so long as it's a good model.

      14 votes