I've been thinking on this for a while, and was inspired to ask about it while reading through the blackpill thread. I don't intend to actually look for a relationship for a while; it's been six months since the breakup, and my ex and I didn't agree to no-contact until two days ago, so I still have a long healing process to get through. But I have a lot of... dread? around not having a life partner forever, with the key factor being not having a close friend like my ex was pre-relationship. If I could emotionally and financially handle all life matters on my own that would be beautiful, but even just thinking about getting to the place I want to be financially while still maintaining a certain lifestyle is anxiety-inducing on its own. So again, even as I do not actively prepare to download any app and put myself out there, I'd like to take some notes as someone who has never used an app and whose previous relationships were by chance (classmates while in school, ex was from MMO).

For starters: I'm a cis woman, early 30s, and identify as lesbian, demisexual, demiromantic. I don't know where I am on the scale of conventional attractiveness. I'm extremely short and skinny. I've never really gone through the initial "dating" process (I knew my exes before getting in a relationship with them so we kind of jumped into being exclusive/"official").

The demi- bits mean a lot to me. I feel it makes sense to just seek spaces for activities that I enjoy and go on from there, but I feel like it's a difficult numbers game because statistically most people will be straight, right? And I don't think I exude any non-straight energy either, if that's even a thing. So this brings me to why I feel I inevitably will need to use dating apps - I fear the environment, I have never applied makeup on myself and couldn't tell you the difference between mascara and eyeliner without Googling, and the blackpill thread is filled with commentary on how these apps really cultivate a landscape with a focus on appearance. But simply being not-straight makes me feel I have to use an app for the basic filter of gender preference.

I don't see myself going to a gay bar (prefer not to drink). I can see some queer-friendly dating-focused events in my area that sound okay but I fear my issues with social performance will keep me away (I can perform for one person but the few events I see right now are speed-dating or casual mixers). Also some of them are hosted at wineries/pubs and I get that alcohol is normal, but I really don't like the vibe of bars themselves (too loud).

I also don't know if there are... things to "know" when trying to date as a lesbian? Like when folks talk about being masc/femme, those things don't really mean anything to me - I have male-dominated hobbies and don't wear feminine clothing, but to say that any bit of me says "masculine" in any way just doesn't seem right. I also honest to god do not know what expectations are regarding trans women. I can't write them off as I've never dated or been romantically interested in a trans woman, but I do fear that the... equipment, for lack of better phrase... might matter to me, and I don't want to offend too late? Is it transphobic to say I'd prefer to date cis women?

Apologies as I realize that this is definitely becoming more of a ramble on "how date, I've never dated strangers" and less on advice for use of dating apps specifically. But at the end of the day, yes, I feel that I will need to use dating apps but fear the experiences that I read about from using them.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

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Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

Ive been playing around with learning a lisp language for a while, and I recently decided to go for it and learn fennel (as I already am comfortable with lua) just to see if I like lisps as a class. Normally, I try to do the first 5-10 days of a previous advent of code to pick up a lang.

Setting up my advent of code environment got me wondering: what projects do other people use to learn new languages/tooling? Id love to hear how other people approach learning a new skill.

What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

This can be contentious, so feel free to self-categorize as "fresh twist on" as well if you wish 😅

(edit) moved my pick to the comment section ...

Hi,

I’m hoping to tap into the collective knowledge base. I have officially ‘run out’ of notes on my task/notes app Tick Tick. I had no idea this was a thing.

I prefer to avoid paying subscription fees so I’m looking for a pay once alternative that fits my needs.

Tick tick is primarily a task / to do list app but I use it more extensively for the notes feature. I value having different spaces for notes and being able to quickly see my notes tags when looking at lists of notes. I also use the countdown feature to know which events are coming up first and how many days away they are.

I use the notes to organise bookings I have for upcoming events. I use the tags system to quickly see if deposits have been paid and what category of booking the event is. I also value being able to import a template first to keep notes structured in the same way.

Another thing that works for me is that tick tick is available on Mac, iOS and Android. All platforms that I use.

If they had a pay once option I’d pay it but I work hard not to rely on too many subscriptions, perhaps naively in this economy.

If anyone has any suggestions for similar apps then I’d love to know your recommendations.

Thank you so much

Seriously!

My husband brought me a tiny little bubble wand he got as a party favor and it somehow has managed to provide me with hours of entertainment. It's kind of perfect for me because it gets me to stop thinking about all the shit I'm worried about and instead get out of my head. Here's some fun things to do if you're looking for a fun time.

Games you can play with bubbles

Bubble catcher

Catch bubbles with the wand. Try to get it directly in the loop for maximum fun.

Bubble bouncing

If you've made small enough bubbles, you can use a bubble you've caught to bounce other bubbles with! I notice that

Bubble multiplication

Catching a bubble on your wand re-establishes the surface area needed to blow bubbles with! Turn one bubble into 20!

Your homework

Go buy some bubbles and report back so I don't feel like a crazy person.

I went harvest, hotfoot, evil eye, butler, larcenist, and culling so far and I’m gonna go back for the clue one and maybe take the axe for t8

I did kandarin and kourend regions and planning on doing mory for 3rd

Did the mage water/air build but kinda messed it up so I need like 2-3 more pacts to echo boss to fix it

Regret butler kinda, but idk I go back to work tomorrow so it’ll be nice to log back in to a big xp drop. Evil eye has also been meh but I know itll be great once I actually start bossing

How about yall?

Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week!

Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle are most worth my attention?”

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Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

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Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like viktor orban, sam altman and autism. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was taking note.

But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

I've had a ring camera for several years. Historically I've been mostly satisfied with it, but lately they are adding some features that are pretty annoying.

The worst is that they've been adding neighborhood alerts and other proximity alerts, with categories for traffic and weather and lost pets and things like that. Today I got a "community alert" which was actually an advertisement for a local animal shelter. I don't have anything against animal shelters, but my motion detector camera alter is not the correct venue for this message. It's clear that amazon is trying to muscle in on Nextdoor. I don't use Nextdoor. I find it to be like facebook, full of cranks and advertisements and nosey annoying people.
So now I had to wade through a few pages of menus to find where to turn of this new annoyance. Obviously, if I could I would opt out of all new features.

The other annoying thing is that they turned on some AI evaluation of what the camera sees. So I was getting messages like "there's someone with a garden hose on your lawn" or "a person is carrying a cardboard box". There were a few things wrong with this

• I didn't sign up to have this and it slows down the alerts so they are up to 30 seconds after the motion is detected
• The AI sometimes made errors, especially at certain times of day where it misidentified different things in the yard (for example, some place marked by shadow was interpreted as a sidewalk when there isn't a sidewalk there). This happens of course because the AI doesn't know anything about my property, it evaluates everything from scratch each time it looks at an image.
• The ring app started bugging me with upselling messages to pay extra for the AI messages

So yeah. I just wanted to vent about the enshittification of this thing. I'm also aware of the privacy issues of ring cameras and how they're going to use the "pet finder" functionality to keep track of everyone. But this rant isn't really about that more important stuff, just the frustration of how these tech companies won't just leave anything alone because they have different goals than us.

So with the Paramount acquisition, all the new HP content, and the general state of both TV and Movie ownership are people returning to the high seas?

I was an eager participant of the first and second wave of piracy in the early and late 00s, and considering the re-consolidation of the entertainment industry and the seemingly nefarious acquisitions of late, I am considering hoisting the black flag once again. I guess this post has two objectives: 1. how are other people navigating our changing media landscape, and 2. for those who have stayed immersed in piracy or have returned to it how have things changed in the last decade or so. Obviously Megavideo and Putlocker are no more, so are there directions to point folks who are just getting back to it. This can be streaming, torrenting, anything really.

Caveat: Let's not even give the horrible human that is JK airtime. I mentioned HP because folks might want to indulge without supporting but if we can keep the discussion to piracy that would be awesome!

i'm a huge lover of music. i listen to music, i collect music (digital and vinyl) for 25 years now. i organize and go to festivals. i play music as a dj (mostly cumbia, afro and house). i looove pop, but as a genere. just everything that is authentic and makes me feel and groooves.
my heart beats to the beat of this amazing hip hop beats. jazz-funk-house and everythig around and in between. and mexican music, be it traditional. modern traditional or pinche rancheras que escuchaban los abuelos. but fuck generes, if it grooves and makes me happy or a special kind of sad, i love it.
but as i get older, it just seems to be getting harder and harder to find and connect to music.
i think part of it is that i just know soo much already. but in comparison to what exisit... thats just bullshit, is it me taking less time and love for music or is it that i get less sensitive to music as i grow older?

i dont know where i'm going with this. but i think i want to connect to other people who i can share music i love with. but its so hard to find people who share my kind of taste.

whatever this post nothing structured, but if you like some of the following please reach out.

Natalia Lafurcarde

Fat Freddy's Drop

Lineli Concept

or Griz, or Gramatik, or St.Germain or ASM or soooo much more i can not even grasp what i like., its just too much and diverse.

i just miss discovering music.. maybe its my process.. i dont use any streaming sites, exept for youtube sometimes for its accesibility to share. i pirate and buy and go to concerts. but it seems everybody arround just shares spotify playlists... and i'm just not getting into that, fuck algorithms deciding my taste. fuck big music.

what do i do? can i find back to the joy of finding a new album i like and loose myself for days and weeks in it? is this a possibility? do i need to find a new way to enjoy and discover music?
is it me? or is it getting harder?

just as a disclaimer, i like what happens here on tildes music wise, but it mostly feels quite far from my tastes. no bad feelings, i like you anyways ;-)

edit: the covers topic going hot atm is just the best in a long time.

I haven't been on the market for a couple of years, but I might be soon-ish.
I used to browse websites such as remoteok, or look on LinkedIn but it seems that those are mostly full of ghost offers...
Does it all happen through personal network nowadays?

So, according to my memory, I asked this question on Tildes "not that long ago."

Then I checked.

Chat, it was a LONG time ago. Excuse me while I crumble into dust.

Anyway, given that the Linux landscape looks very different than it did not that long ago in 2018, I figure we're due for another topic like this:

• Which Linux distro do you use, and, most importantly, why do you prefer it?