Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.
Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.
Questions first, the long backstory in the details section that follows if you care to read it. Thank you in advance for your consideration.
I've framed this in terms of parents for convenience, but of course I am interested in anyone's experience with the aging.
What did you learn later that you wish you knew about having aging parents when they started needing more care?
What resources were the most help to you navigating the transitions?
That resources do you think were the most help to your parents in navigating the transitions?
If you weren't local, what kind of things did you do to help stay connected? What worked, and what didn't ?
I'm really struggling with depression, disappointment, and worry about my parents. What advice do you have for me?
My parents are both in their 70s. My mom retired about 10 years ago, but my dad only retired last year. Shortly after his retirement, he received a dementia diagnosis.
My sister and I live about 3 hours apart, but 1,200 miles away from my parents, who still lived in the town we grew up in. I have been quietly campaigning to get them to move closer for years. My mom always said, "When your dad retires, we'll think about it." But my dad has ADHD, and most things don't happen unless my mom spearheads them. The bottom line was that she didn't really want to leave, so they didn't.
The dementia diagnosis proved to be the required catalyst. They have been packing for the past few months, and the movers moved them in to their apartment in the city where my sister lives. They're holding an estate sale to get rid of the rest of their stuff, and they have already found a realtor to list the house.
They moved into a two bedroom apartment in an independent living facility that has options up to full memory care. Right now they are both functioning well enough not to need any daily care, though my dad is no longer driving.
This new place is going to be good for them at least in terms of meeting their physical needs. It's a very nice facility with lots of social spaces. There's a (kind of blah) meal service, exercise equipment, a movie theater, and guest apartments we can stay in when we visit. It has a shuttle that they can book to take them anywhere within 20 miles, so the fact that my dad can't drive it's not as limiting. They're within easy walking distance of a grocery store and a Target.
I went to visit them this week to help with some unpacking. It really made me sad. They moved from a seven bedroom house that they've lived in for 20 years in a town that they lived in for 45 years. The new apartment is 1200 square feet in a town where they don't know anyone but my sister. I'm glad that they made the move because they need the support, but seeing how diminished their circumstances are, and in some ways, how diminished they are has been really depressing to me.
Things are even harder because the relationship dynamic between them is not good. It's become apparent to me that they mostly function as a couple by not being together. My dad would be at work all day, and my mom was doing her own things: volunteering, book club, etc. Now that my dad is retired, there is a lot of friction between them. It's compounded by some anger outbursts from him that are probably related to the dementia but also certainly related to the unresolved conflict between them. He sees her as the person who's taking away his independence. She feels hurt that she's treated like the bad guy in every situation. She is also bitter because their plan was that he would retire and they would travel and see things they had always wanted to see. The truth is more like: she was enjoying her retirement and independence without having him underfoot, and now she has to face the consequences of having put it off for so long. They have tried couples counseling, but my mom has been saying she doesn't want to keep doing it. I had a super weird moment at Target when we were buying things for their apartment the way you would for a child going off to college, and I almost had to break to an argument between them about towels.
I guess I have idealized their relationship in a way that ignored the reality, and now that those blinders are lifted, it's really shaken me.
To top it all off, my dad has had cancer (GIST) for the past 16 years. It's been pretty stable and manageable, but he is scheduled to have surgery in a few weeks to remove a tumor that recently started growing. This will be the first surgery in the new city, though they have an excellent cancer hospital so he should be in good hands. I will be there for the surgery and the recovery, so that is a good time to be able to suggest things to them or help them with things.
This is a monthly thread for those who need it. Vent, share your experiences, ask for advice, talk about how you are doing. Let's make this a compassionate space for all who may need one.
I frame this in the affirmative because we would not be here if we did not agree. I have only been engaging actively with Lobsters and Tildes recently but find it more enjoyable than Lemmy, Piefed, Mastodon, etc.. Why is that? I believe the fediverse is a cringe circle-jerk of Linux and echo-chamber liberal-not-leftists. Lobsters has the same tech-leaning of the fediverse but it is much more interesting and technical. What then makes Tildes more interesting? Quality or lack of fediverse cringe?
Curious what you all think?
Since getting into Reddit since 2014 or so, that is been my main source of forum activity. Since Reddit proved to not be a good site, I have tried to find alternatives.
What are you reading currently? Fiction or non-fiction or poetry, any genre, any language! Tell us what you're reading, and talk about it a bit.
October 1st has already hit in some parts of the world, so Timasomo has officially begun!
Posting in this topic is your official entry into Timasomo.
Let everyone know what your actual plans are. What are you going to make?
Anyone who was not already on the notification list will be added with a comment in this topic.
Once the date turns over to October 1st wherever you are in the world, feel free to start creating!
Timasomo is "Tildes' Make Something Month": a creative community challenge that takes place in the month of October. It is a chance to create something/anything!
There are no restrictions on what you can choose to make.
The best way to get a feel for Timasomo is to check out our previous Showcase topics, where creators share their creations with the community at the end of the event:
Yes! Timasomo is open to anyone on Tildes! Please make sure you are subscribed to ~creative.timasomo.
The greater Tildes community is also encouraged to participate in discussion threads even if you are not actively working towards a creative goal. This is meant to be an inclusive community event -- all are welcome!
If you are interested in participating but do not have a Tildes login, please e-mail the invite request address here for an invite to the community.
If you do not want to create something but still want to check out the showcase, let me know in a comment here and I will add your name to a separate notification list that I will ping for the showcase topic only.
Make sure you are subscribed to ~creative.timasomo and/or are included in my notification list (simply comment on this topic to be added).
On October 1st, there will be a Roll Call thread. By posting your plans to participate in that thread, you have formally signed up for Timasomo!
Yes. Timasomo was originally inspired by NaNoWriMo, the National Novel Writing Month, which takes place in November.
Initially, I wanted people participating in NaNoWriMo to be able to share their work with Timasomo as well. In the entire time it has run, however, no participant has publicly submitted any work from NaNoWriMo to Timasomo. Instead, Timasomo has gained its own identity independent of NaNoWriMo (which, after recent events, is probably for the best).
Many participants from previous years have shared that October would be a better month for them personally, so we moved the event to October.
Also, the event was so fantastically popular that it regularly upstaged American Thanksgiving, thus we only felt it fair that Canadian Thanksgiving be targeted as well.
Timasomo is self-driven and its goals are self-selected.
On October 1st, participants will commit to a creative project (or projects) that they plan to complete within the month of October.
There is no restriction on the methods/products of creativity: writing, painting, code, food, photos, crafts, songs -- if it's creative expression for you, it works for Timasomo!
Though most will be participating individually, collaborations are welcome too!
Timasomo begins October 1st and ends October 31st.
All creative output towards your goal(s) should be confined to this time.
This week prior to the start of October is for planning. There will be a few days at the beginning of November given to "finishing touches" before we have our final thread, which will be a showcase of all the completed works.
Tildes is a privacy-respecting site, and you are not obligated to share your creation here if you do not want to. We'd still love to hear about it though, if you're willing to share process and details!
Either.
I personally use "Timasomo" because I think it looks cleaner and because too much time on the internet has made my brain incapable of reading "TiMaSoMo" as anything other than sarcasm, but go with whichever you prefer.
The best option, however, is “𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑨𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑶” for reasons that are self-evident.
I just got the newer version of Firefox (v157.0) and I'm amazed at how snappy it is. It feels like Firefox does when you have 0 extensions, except that I have uBO and a few others.
It used to feel so sluggish, pages took 500ms or even 1 second to display anything after typing the address, but no more; they render almost instantly.
A very nice surprise indeed!
If you left Firefox because it was too slow, now's the time to ditch Chrom{e,ium} and reign Google's chokehold on standards and utter contempt for privacy in!
This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?
Hey all,
I've been using adblockers since the very early days they were available as Firefox Plugins, but the recent report on LG Smart TVs listening in, gathering device info, and sending it home has motivated me to do something at the level of my router.
I've got a Smart TV that's never been connected to the internet, but I want to cover all my bases. Same with my car, potentially, and the washing machine. I want to stop this crap at the source.
I've tried looking at the Pi-hole documentation but I'm confused already. I'm on MacOS and pretty comfortable using Terminal, and a Netgear Nitehawk AX2400 router.
Is it as simple as purchasing a Raspberry Pi device and then I'm good to go, or are there other things I need to buy before I jump in?
I'm sorry if this sounds stupid. I'm jealous of everyone on Tildes saying how their Pi-hole mostly protects them, and I'm so angry at this endless stream of data mining and sending it back to corporations I haven't consented to.
The goal of the monthly Digital Detox topic is:
to evaluate and potentially address toxic or controlling aspects of tech in ways are meaningful for you
This is a shift away from the previous emphasis on a "Screenless Day" which was aimed at being a specific task/event.
People can certainly still take Screenless Days as part of their Digital Detox, but I wanted to open this up a bit more to allow more opportunities for discussion and change rather than just temporarily cutting screens.
Please make this topic what you want it to be. There's no right or wrong way to post in it.
All people posting in this topic will be automatically added to the Digital Detox notification list. If you do NOT want to be added to the list, please let me know in your comment.
Monthly Discussion Starter: What "digital detox" steps have you tried in the past? Did they work? Why or why not?
It was a dark and stormy night...
Rain hammered the car roof with the ferocity of hail. The windshield wipers did little to help as sheets of water cascaded down the glass between every beat. The road itself was dark with no lights besides your headlights, the beams casting eerie shadows on the gnarled trees as you drove past.
Or they would, if the car was moving.
Because of course the car broke down, leaving you stranded on a remote country road far from the nearest town. You sat in the driver's seat looking at the MapQuest printout, determining it to be useless given the lack of signage on remote country roads.
You did, however, receive a surprisingly detailed novelty map of local landmarks from when you stopped at a diner an hour ago. Squinting out the window, the headlights just illuminated a large rock with a pointed tip near the base of a tree. A good match for the "Wytch Hat Stone" on the map.
According to the novelty map, there were three mansions nearby: the Edison Mansion, the Derceto Manor, and the DeFoe Manor. Perhaps one of them would have a phone you could use. Or at least be a quieter place to spend the night, the incessant hammering of the raindrops was really loud. The flashes of lightning every time you mumbled the names of any mansion would help illuminate your way.
And surely the "Beware And Avoid" heading on the map was just a marketing gimmick, right?
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I shall be your hostess this delightfully dreary evening.
Now as your hostess, I must be upfront with you: I have no personal experience with any of these titles. I originally nominated Maniac Mansion since I have wanted to play it for some time, but then realized there are many old games set in spooky mansions. And I also had the thought: what better time to explore some creepy mansions than October, the month most associated with all things spooky and creepy?
So for this month's adventure, I have selected three potential mansions for us to tour: the classic LucasArts game Maniac Mansion, the classic survival horror game Alone in the Dark, and the freeware adventure game 5 Days A Stranger. All three provide glimpses into different periods and niches of gaming history.
Maniac Mansion (1987) helped redefine the adventure game genre, and established LucasArts as a powerhouse in gaming. It removed many frustrations of the genre such as guessing and typing text commands in favor of one of the first point-and-click interfaces, or super-linear puzzles with specific solutions. It placed more emphasis on cinematic storytelling, and added humor to a generally serious genre.
Alone in the Dark (1992) meanwhile is one of the games that defined the survival horror genre alongside Sweet Home. It was the first 3D survival horror game, with many of its mechanics such as limited inventory and a focus on survival over combat appearing to this day. Even the first Resident Evil game was influenced by it, nixing the original plan of first-person gameplay for similar fixed camera angles.
5 Days a Stranger (2003) is comparatively lesser known and influential than the other two. However, it's also CGA's first foray into the early indie dev scene! This is a freeware game about a cat burglar who becomes trapped in a house with four others, and is the first part of a series called the Chzo Mythos. Its developer is likely to be familiar: Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, famous for the Zero Punctuation review series for The Escapist.
Also: it's free. Of all the games we've played to date, this may be the most accessible because it's always been free, so no legal barriers.
Moving on.
You have your choice of up to three beautiful mansions to explore. I have hopefully given you enough information to decide which to visit first. They can't be worse than spending the night in a tiny, cramped, broken car. Feel free to chant the names of whichever mansion you most prefer as you begin the mad dash through the rain. The dramatic lightning flashes are so convenient, aren't they?
I hope you all have a terrific time.
Versions: Original (1987) (notes: NES versions had some changes/censorship to fit Nintendo's criteria)
Platforms: Commodore 64, Apple II, MS-DOS, Amiga, Atari ST, NES, Famicom, Classic Mac OS
Genre(s): Adventure
Stores:
Steam - On sale until October 8
GOG - On sale until October 7
Versions: Original (1992), Remake (2024)
Platforms: MS-DOS, RISC OS, 3DO, Mac OS, PC-98, FM Towns, iOS
Genre(s): Survival Horror
Stores:
Steam - Original Trilogy - On sale until October 8
GOG - Original Trilogy - BIG sale until October 7!!! (And also just cheaper than Steam in general)
Steam - Remake - On sale until October 8
GOG - Remake - On sale until October 7
Versions: Original (2003)
Platforms: Windows
Genre(s): Adventure
Links: Mobygames
Downloads:
Official site
Adventure Games Studios site
Internet Archive
DOS Games Archive - This one has a "play online" button! No download required!
The main purpose of this topic is to get people up and running with the games. As such, it's recommended that you:
Another purpose of this topic is to revisit the games and their time periods:
Finally, this topic is the beginning discussion for people starting to play it:
It is recommended that you reply to your own posts if you are making consecutive updates so that they are in the same thread.
IMPORTANT: Any links to the game should be legal distributions of the game only. Please do NOT link to any unauthorized copies.
IMPORTANT: Put any spoilers in a dropdown block. Copy/paste the block below if needed.
<details>
<summary>Spoilers</summary>
Spoiler text goes here.
</details>
Colossal Game Adventure (CGA) is Tildes' retro video game club.
Each month we will play a different retro game/games, discuss our thoughts, and bask in the glorious digital experiences of yesteryear!
Colossal Game Adventure is a reference to Colossal Cave Adventure. It's one of the most influential games of all time, one of the first text-based interactive games, and one of the first games to be shared online.
What do we want to do with this group? Play influential games; interact with each other through text; and share the love for retro games online!
It also abbreviates to CGA (because we love chunky pixel art), and its name communicates the Colossal amount of fun and excitement that we have with retro video Games in our shared Adventure of playing them together.
No. Participation is open to all.
There is a Notification List that will get pinged each time a new topic goes up. If you would like to join that list, please PM u/kfwyre.
Each month will have a focus game or games that will guide our discussions. Beyond that, there are no restrictions. The philosophy of CGA is to play in a way that works for you!
This means:
If you have already played a game and want a different experience:
There is no wrong way to participate in CGA, and every different way someone participates will make for more interesting discussions.
Each month the Insert Cartidge topic will be posted on the 1st, while the Remove Cartridge topic will be posted on the 20th.
Nomination and voting topics will happen in March and September (every 6 months).
Schedules are also posted then.
All CGA topics are available using the colossal game adventure tag.
Inserting and removing cartridges are our retro metaphor for starting and stopping a given game or games.
The Insert Cartridge topic happens at the beginning of the month and is primarily about getting the game up and running.
The Remove Cartridge topic happens toward the end of the month and is primarily about people reflecting on the game now that they've played it.
There are no hard restrictions on what has to go in either topic, and each can be used to discuss the game, post updates, ask questions, etc.
Enter if you dare...
(Credit to @Boojum for the splash screen!)
Most everyone will spend a significant portion of their life working in some way shape or form. Our jobs can cause us to learn new skills or see the world in a different light after gaining new experiences.
I was thinking about my own career and how it has caused changes in my own life, and it got me thinking how other Tilders might view their work and their life through that lens.
Have you noticed your career has changed you, and if there are any changes you can think of, do any of them surprise you?
Do you look at things differently after working a particular job?
How has your job impacted you?
I've been working on a playlist for a while of rock / pop songs with sax solos. The rules are:
Here's what I've got so far: https://link.deezer.com/s/323YPvabsQgEuS8BOTCXj
I don’t think I’m very creative when it comes to making semi artistic/practical real world things. The summum of my creative abilities is devising CAD models for 3D printing practical simple parts I need to improve/fix things. Not nothing, but not super artsy either.
I currently live in an apartment I don’t like and can’t move out of (life is complicated).
A big part of my dislike of this appartment is that it’s under the roof so it has slanted ceilings and these gigantic wooden pillars right in the middle of most rooms. This make the space cramped and very hard to use.
I’d like to find a way to pimp these columns up so they don’t annoy me as much. But… how would I get ideas?
All I could think of is making it into some kind of tribal totem, but I have no vision for what it’d look like nor how would I do it in practice. And preferably with upcycled or thrifted materials because I’m not investing in this place I’m renting. Also has to be fully removable for the same reason. A few holes are ok but I can’t glue things that will peel the paint or leave marks.
My general question is this: people who find cool ways of hijacking things or decorating, where do you find inspiration? How do you get ideas? Is there some sort of method for someone like me who doesn’t get it “naturally”?
edit: Thank you everyone for chiming in, I've read all the comments and will try and get inspiration from the Internet + practice. I don't have anything meaningful to add to each comment, so I'm simply adding this edit :)
Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.
Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.
Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week!
Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle are most worth my attention?”
Rules:
If posting a sale, it is strongly encouraged that you share why you think the available game/games are worthwhile.
All previous Save Point topics
If you don’t want to see threads in this series, add save point to your personal tag filters.
This is the place for casual discussion about our pets. Photos are welcome, show us your pet(s) and tell us about them!
By "the one", I mean the one you should marry.
So I've heard that (at least some of) you have, trounced every park's leaderboard, cleared all goals (including the cash ones), and racked up 3 gold medals from the occasional competition stages.
If that's true, then congratulations! You're basically legend-level; Tony Hawk himself would be impressed.
But what if I told you there's more to do after a full Career Mode clean sweep? Shocker, I know. Here are two hints:
Sounds simple, right? But it's also... an absolutely herculean task. I won't blame you if you reach for the cheat codes hidden there to skip the grind. And for anyone on the N64 or GBC versions of Pro Skater 2: tough luck, as no such things are available there to my knowledge.
Now the real question: where are you going to rest after all that? Blow your remaining hard-earned cash on some old, shady place you found on your dinky desktop out of pure desperation? Don't worry, u/CannibalisticApple will walk you through those sketchy mansions and manors on the next CGA month.
Until then, drop your feats and thoughts about your journey to becoming one of skateboarding's champions.
Later, gators!
| Month | Game | Host |
|---|---|---|
| October 2026 | Spooky Mansion Adventures Alone in the Dark 5 Days a Stranger Maniac Mansion |
u/CannibalisticApple |
| November 2026 | Mother 3 | u/kfwyre |
| December 2026 | Sonic the 3D Hedgehog Sonic Adventure Sonic Adventure 2 |
u/J-Chiptunator |
| January 2027 | Resident Evil (REmake) | u/sotix |
| February 2027 | Another World | u/CannibalisticApple |
| March 2027 | The Grue That Binds Border Zone Twisted! Zork |
u/balooga |
| April 2027 | Crystalis | u/zod000 |
| May 2027 | The Genesis of Treasure Gunstar Heroes McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure Dynamite Headdy Alien Soldier Light Crusader |
u/J-Chiptunator |
I've had plenty of fun conversations with friends about this topic and figure all you Tilders would have some interesting ideas/thoughts.
Don't let budgetary/IP constraints ruin your dreams here!
What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)
Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.
You can make a chart if you use last.fm:
http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/
Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.