Random Intermittent Reward (known as Variable Ratio Reinforcement Schedule in the field of Applied Behavior Analysis) is a powerful concept from psychology. It states that the increase in motivation (through dopamine) from the anticipation of a reward is stronger when the reward is not guaranteed. You can see this effect in action with gambling, social media, mobile games (especially loot boxes), and dog training. If you're noticing themes of manipulation or addiction, that's not accidental. In the most typical and visible places that random intermittent rewards are implemented, it reinforces behaviors that are not well aligned with people's values.

It seems like a waste for something this effective to only be used against us, when it could be a huge asset for our personal growth.

I want to know if you have tried using this concept to motivate yourself to do things that are important to you. How did it go? What kind of behaviors were you trying to motivate? What kind of rewards worked or didn't?

Disclaimer: I've been using this concept for a while now to great effect, so I'm building a phone app to make it easier, more effective, and fun to use. You can go to https://tantaluspath.com to see more information and sign up to get notified when the app is available.

This is the first of an ongoing series of book discussions here on Tildes. We are discussing Cloud Atlas.
Our next book will be Piranesi, sometime in the third week of April.

I don't have a particular format in mind for this discussion, but I will post some prompts and questions as comments to get things started. You're not obligated to respond to them or vote on them though. So feel free to make your own top-level comment for whatever you wish to discuss, questions you have of others, or even just to post a review of the book you have written yourself.

For latecomers, don't worry if you didn't read the book in time for this Discussion topic. You can always join in once you finish it. Tildes Activity sort, and "Collapse old comments" feature should keep the topic going for as long as people are still replying.
And for anyone uninterested in this topic please use the Ignore Topic feature on this so it doesn't keep popping up in your Activity sort, since it's likely to keep doing that while I set this discussion up, and once people start joining in.

Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like glassdoor, monopolies and steam.families. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was curious.

But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

I was just reminded of that again when going back and looking at some of my old posts on reddit which is openly selling online data. Prompted me to use Redact which erases and overwrites comments before deleting them. But that got me wondering if the same is true of Tildes? And how would we know?

Assume cleaning is done on a regular basis. My apartment has a subtle "scent" from, what I assume to be, the vinyl flooring wax. I'd like that to not be the smell visitors first experience.

I'm considering an air purifier/diffuser, but don't know if they're effective.

This is a thread to discuss 2024 releases that have recently arrived on our doorstep, or been announced for the future. Feel free to share albums, singles, EPs or reissues that have caught your eye and interest, or share your thoughts about any new music that you've had the chance to listen to this week.

Discussion Points
Is there anything you've been looking forward to listening to?
Any releases that have surprised you?
Have you listened to any new music recently? What are your thoughts?
What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past? How does their latest work compare?

Links:
Pitchfork - Out This Week
AllMusic - All New Releases
Stereogum - New Music

~~ Feedback on the format welcome

For my job I need to copy a person's name out of a field and split it into first and last names. I have a AHK script that can do this but my version only works with simple, one-word, non-hyphenated names. I tried prompting Gemini as below.

There is a line of text consisting of one or more words, a comma, then one or more words. write an autohotkey 1.1 script to select everything before the comma, store it to a variable called firstname, then select everything after the comma and store it to a variable called lastname. thanks

(the firstname and lastname variables should be swapped as the last name would come before the comma, that was my error)

Here's the AutoHotkey 1.1 script to achieve what you described:

; This script splits a text line into first and last name based on a comma

#NoEnv  ; Recommended for performance and compatibility.
SendMode Input  ; Simulates keystrokes for reliable input.

; Function to split the text
Func SplitText(_text, firstName, lastName) {
  StringSplit, parts, _text, `,`
  if (parts[1]) {
    firstName := parts[1] ; Assign first name
    lastName := SubStr(_text, 1 + StrLen(parts[1])+1) ; Extract last name after comma (including space)
  } else {
    firstName := _text ; Handle cases without a comma
    lastName := ""
  }
}

; Hotkey to trigger the script (replace F2 with your desired key)
F2::
  Send, ^c ; Copy the selected text to clipboard
  clipText := ClipboardAll  ; Read the clipboard content
  SplitText(clipText, firstName, lastName) ; Call the function to split the text
  MsgBox, First Name: %firstName%`nLast Name: %lastName%

  ; Optional: Clear clipboard to avoid unintended pasting (comment out if not desired)
  ; Clipboard := 
Return

Explanation:

#NoEnv and SendMode Input: These lines are included for performance and reliable input simulation.
Func SplitText(_text, firstName, lastName): This function takes the text (_text) as input and assigns the split parts to variables firstName and lastName.
StringSplit, parts, _text, ,:** Splits the text based on the comma (,`) delimiter.
if (parts[1]):** Checks if there's a second part (i.e., text after the comma).
If true, the first part is assigned to firstName and the text after the comma (including the space) is extracted using SubStr and assigned to lastName.
else:** If there's no comma, the entire text is assigned to firstName and lastName is set to an empty string.
F2::: This line defines a hotkey. When F2 is pressed, the following actions occur:
Send, ^c:** Copies the selected text to the clipboard.
clipText := ClipboardAll:** Reads the copied text from the clipboard and stores it in the variable clipText.
SplitText(clipText, firstName, lastName):** Calls the function to split the copied text into first and last names.
MsgBox:** Displays a message box showing the extracted first name and last name.
Optional: Clear Clipboard: The commented line Clipboard := clears the clipboard content after processing. Uncomment this line if you want to avoid accidentally pasting the copied text elsewhere.

Edit: To answer questions, and provide info I probably should have from the beginning: I'm a medical transcriptionist using AHK with my job's software (Emdat Inscribe) and a word expander (Instant Text). Inscribe seems to be browser-based but functions as a standalone app. I already have dozens of AHK 1.1 macros; my .ahk file has over 2000 lines, although I'm sure it's terribly written code. This is also why I'm disinclined to switch to AHK 2.0 since I have no desire to rewrite everything unless absolutely necessary. The first part of this macro is a bunch of keypresses to jump to the relevant patient info field, then this part would be used to store the names appropriately. I already have hotkeys to use the variables as needed and most macros are limited with #ifwinactive to Inscribe.

What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

Hi, I keep reading about this thing called a "NAS" and I don't have in my social network a bunch of reasonable geeks to figure out if this is something for me or if it is overkill and I can get by with less -- trying to be frugal and all.

The Situation

At the moment, I have a Raspberry Pi 3 (that a colleague gifted me) which runs Jellyfin, mostly for music. I'd use it for watching series and movies, but given how slow it is at transferring files and the fact that it has a 1GB (maybe 2GB) RAM... I was afraid to break it. On top of that, its storage is a years-old external hard drive.

I use Jellyfin mostly to have music on my iPhone. I can access it when I'm out and about on Tailscale. I hope to find a solution for my photos as well.

I'd also occasionally use the pi to experiment with some self-hosted open-source apps.

I constantly find myself wanting to upgrade because I want to also backup my important photos (with face recognition if possible) and documents "offline" (i.e. in my local network) to something more stable than an aging hard drive. They're all in the cloud, but a second backup option could be great.

What I understand from reading about NAS's is that I basically have one, it's just not... reliable?

The Question

I understand there is definitely a buy-in cost for buying an actual NAS, I'd like to know how much... so that I can make an informed decision on if and when I would buy it. What is an entry-level NAS and how much will it cost? What could it NOT do that an RPi could, and vice-versa? Am I missing an in-between or even an alternative solution for my use case? Is it overkill and should I just upgrade the pi? What are my options?

Thanks in advance for reading my post!

Third movie of Best Picture nominees that didn't win is High Noon from 1952 directed by Fred Zinnemann and starring Gary Cooper and Grace Kelly. Gary Cooper won for best actor, Dimitri Tiomkin won for the score and for the title song "The Ballad of High Noon ("Do Not Forsake Me, O My Darlin'")"

IMDb
Letterboxd
Wikipedia

Besides any thoughts on this movie, have you seen the other nominees that year and do you think this deserved the win instead?

The other nominees:

• The Greatest Show on Earth (winner)
• Ivanhoe
• Moulin Rouge
• The Quiet Man

The rest of the schedule is:

• 25th: Saving Private Ryan

I really like listening to video game music covers, some of my favorite artists are Freya Catherine, Jillian Aversa, Erutan, Malukah, Karliene. Does anyone else enjoy this kind of music, and do you have any recs for similar artists (especially if they are still actively posting music) (and bonus points if they have a bandcamp page)?

Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

I have a project where I interview people on my twitch live, as if it were a talk show. I mainly focus on people in the gaming world, so if you would like to be interviewed about your hobby for 30-40 minutes let me know!

I interviewed speedrunners, gaming musicians, challenge runners, and tournament hosters before, but I'm open to anyone that is interested and in the gaming sphere. I don't have many viewers or influence it's simply because I love to do it. If you would like to collaborate on something like this, let me know! Thanks!

Given the fact that Yuzu (a Nintendo Switch emulator) and Citra (a Nintendo 3DS emulator) were recently taken down by Nintendo's legal team, is there a reason why Dolphin (an emulator for Gamecube and Nintendo Wii) is still going strong? Did Dolphin take any extra steps to protect themselves from lawsuits, or it's just a case of Nintendo taking their time?

I'm old enough that I watched the Simpsons, South Park and more recently Bojack Horseman change the perception of animation in the US. I'm only a casual anime fan, who started watching because my husband studies japanese. However, I think Aggretsuko for example could appeal to fans of the Office. What else is out there in the anime world that is not stereotypical and might appeal to a wider audience?

Steam Sale time again! Post any amazing games or hidden gems you think others would like. I'll start: Mr Shifty is an amazing 2d top-down that's crazy fun (especially for its price!). I'm about to get a SteamDeck, so am hunting these style of games in particular.

Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

I've always been interested in entrepreneurship, and I think I want to get serious about doing something. I checked out the Millionaire Fastlane forums, and it's just completely saturated with the whole "grindset" BS. I tried reading a couple of threads, and my eyes almost rolled out of my head. 🙄

I've also hung around on the entrepreneur subreddit, and it just seems like a bunch of people without much experience trading unproven advice and people trying to sell courses.

Does anyone know of a better community? I'd like to find some friendly, welcoming adults with actual experience to talk with. Are entrepreneurship and hustle culture always a package deal?

I have no idea how to word this, as every similar post that I've seen has had an obvious cause, in some way shape or form. I, on the other hand, feel pretty shitty even writing this up know that others have actual problems that I am taking that visibility from.

When I wake up, I get to go to work a job that mentally stimulates me, teaches me new things (both in terms of a legacy system and in terms of new technology), and lets me work from home 3/5 days a week. On top of that, I have a very solid housing situation where I don't need to worry about rent being raised. I have a (reliable) car that only needs routine maintanence, and has very good MPG. I have a dog that I love, and would easily die for without a second thought. I have family living nearby, that, while we don't agree religiously or politically most times, can all get along and enjoy holidays or get togethers.

And yet, feel like I lied about my life just now.

When I wake up, the first thought isn't that my dog is waking me up to go out, it is the feeling of the weight that merely existing seems to put on me. As I just stated earlier, my job is not the cause of stress, neither is housing, nor food, nor family. I have no reason to feel the way that I do.

I've recently (in the last 6 months) started journaling, and the main theme that I have found is that I am constantly thankful for having everything that I do. And yet, tomorrow, when I open my eyes, either due to the alarm, or due to my dog waking me up to go outside, I will have a weight laying over my chest that I can only attribute to the fact that I still exist.

I try to ignore the news (while staying informed enough to vote properly on candidates), I don't use social media except for Tildes and to share the once a week or two photo on Instagram, and I am both active physically, and creatively. None of this seems to remove the weight. I feel like I am either wasting my existence when I am consuming media, wasting my time attempting to create when others have voices or messages with stronger meaning, or wasting other's time when I hang around them.

I have no right to complain about my life. Hell, two years ago I would have killed for what I have now. And, yet, I feel like I am wasting what I have been given. I am legitimately happiest sitting out in my backyard with my dog, either sipping a beer or just watching the stars. The issue is, that when I do, a weight slowly lays itself over me, one that I do not know the cause of, or reason for. A weight that I cannot shake, and can only attribute to simply existing.

I would like so very much, even temporarily, to remove it.

I’m looking for advice about what sort of portable room cooling devices to look at and what pitfalls to avoid. Some context:

Over the past few years I’ve noticed that I do pretty badly in the heat, especially at night. I live in Zürich, the concept of air conditioning has not yet arrived in this place. The prevailing wisdom for how to survive summer is to just make sure your house doesn’t get too warm in the first place, but my apartment is pretty badly insulated and during the worst weeks it doesn’t cool down that much at night either, so it’s been pretty bad the last few years. I’ve mostly just avoided being in my room whenever possible, but I do have to sleep somehow.

The obvious solution to me is to buy some sort of air conditioning device, a topic I know basically nothing about. My flatmate has one for his room, of the “dangle a tube out of the window” kind, which seems to do an okay job, but it is extremely loud and quite bulky - neither of those are dealbreakers per se, but I’d happily pay a bit more money if that gets me something quieter. In addition, our windows are not sliding windows but ones that open like a door, so any device that requires me to poke something out of the window would probably need a solution for this as well. Any sort of permanent modification to the house such as putting a hole through the wall or the window glass are not allowed.

So my questions are: What types of coolers should I look into, what types are best avoided? Any specific brand or model recommendations would also be appreciated. I looked at one electronics vendor’s website and found a huge range in prices from below 100 to over 1000; I don’t have a specific budget in mind per se, but unless it makes a big difference (e.g. in noise levels) I would rather stay below 500 dollars.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

I've tried before to get input on this, but online it doesn't go anywhere and IRL people don't seem to understand. Thought about putting it in the /~finance area, but I don't know that it's really a finance issue, plus things there seem to be wider-scale financial in focus. And there's no /~advice page, so here it is:

I feel like I should be making more money lol. Now immediately, that sounds greedy or either capitalistic/anticapitalistic, depending—I know it does, but hear me out. I have a great job that pays ok but not great, and tons of free time; in my mind, and if I'm being honest in my field, chasing a 5% raise is low ROI and low likelihood of even happening. There is little room for vertical movement, but enough security that it seems crazy to make any changes. Post-college, I have had a pretty varied career background, I am very good at editing, research, training, tech, etc. but I am not an "idea person" and I don't have a lot of marketability or self-promotion ability, it seems like (also no coding abilities, which is always a suggestion; I've tried, believe me, but my brain won't do it). I'd rather edit your book than write one of my own, not because I'm afraid of rejection or can't commit to doing something/run out of steam, but because the steam just isn't there.

I don't feel the need to change careers, but I am also feeling super unfulfilled. I've worked on doing things to try and fill that gap, hobbies/other pursuits/etc, but I am haunted by the fact that I am using such a small part of my bandwidth, when it seems like I could be outputting at 2x or 3x and earning similarly. I've applied for contract work, freelance, all that stuff, but it is spotty pay at best—what I want, short of a medieval patron/wealthy benefactor, is a second job I could do on top of this one. Which leads me to side-hustle-type rabbit holes on starting an Etsy shop/a YouTube channel/a Patreon page. But when it comes down to it, I don't actually feel any passion about doing any of those things, and I can't get a narrow enough niche figured out to even come up with a potential audience. I've avoided specializing because I wanted to do all kinds of things, and now I've done that, and I feel like maybe it was a mistake. I just want to have the resources available to do what I want. Bills are paid, life is good, but I feel like I am spinning my wheels: even writing this out is like a roller coaster of feeling shame that I'm not satisfied or that I'm ungrateful, then being frustrated I can't make it happen the way I want, on my own.

Because see, I didn't say I deserve more money; I want the opportunity to earn more money. There are a ton of things I would be perfectly happy doing for a living, or for a second job. And more money might not even help—if I was a trust fund baby I be in a similar situation. But what the fuck should I be doing then? I guess what I really want is for someone to say "Hey, I need this job done, I'll give you $XXk a year to do it" like it's 1980, and then I know I am serving a purpose? And I wouldn't feel guilty about time left over, because the job is Done. But part of me is afraid that, even if that somehow magically materialized, I would feel the exact same way I do now.

so what do tilderinos?

I'm 46 years of age. My childhood and youth and post-youth life wasn't traumatic or anything. I had an okay life. I guess I might even have had a good life. But for some reason, reminiscing about it just doesn't feel pleasant. Some folks find talking about their past highly enjoyable. So why don't I like it? Is this normal?

I realized that some games I play fall into specific categories that could be their own sub-genre, but are either too specific, haven't been around long enough, or there's a "good enough" combination of genres that could be used to describe them that makes it impossible to find more in that genre.

I'm interested if anyone else has any of these weird little sub-genres that they enjoy and wanted to share.

Feel free to add any games that you think fit into sub-genres other people describe

I have a relative whose 8 year old has shown a keen interest in coding. He even takes books out of the library about coding even though he's never done it and I dont think he understands most of what he's reading. Seems like a little Bill Gates just dying to get started.

I used to teach LOGO to kids back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth and I looked at some recent versions. Its good, and the logic is all there, but the end results are fairly mundane for a kid who's already experienced amazing video games. Then I stumbled across Scratch, a much more visual programming tool and it seems to fit what we need. Scratch allows kids to make animations, simple games, even do motion detection, music all with sprites that they can manipulate using drag and drop coding blocks. Lots of online video tutorials that he can follow himself too. https://scratch.mit.edu/

Before I dive headlong into Scratch, just wondering if there are other even better tools for teaching coding to kids? Or what your experience might be with them?

Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like boeing, urban planning and insurance.auto. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was mycket förvirrad.

But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

Greetings Tildeans!

I am wrapping up my Ph.D. and am pursuing a teaching-focused career in higher education. I am currently in talks for a 4-year institution teaching faculty position that would revolve around teaching a subject I am passionate about and could provide a lot of intellectual stimulation. Unless something wild happens the offer is there and we are just negotiating the parameters. I also have a position that is in 2nd-phase interviews for a community college tenure track position that would be teaching general biology, anatomy, and physiology. I feel optimistic that they are going to offer me a position, but nothing is concrete yet.

I'm at this impasse because both have really good reasons for doing them and would provide experiences unique from the other. I am trying to balance the pros and cons between these two positions and consider what might be good for my career in the long run, and so I was hoping I could get some advice. Even if you're not in academia I think it would be helpful to get some outside prospective. I'm gonna list my thoughts on it below.

4-year University

Pros:

-Teach upper level and domain specific courses with opportunity to design courses I am passionate about.
-Integrated into scientific community if I want to to do more research/keep abreast of scientific advancements.
-Great community of teaching faculty with lots of support.
-Could be good curriculum vitae experience if I want to stay teaching at a 4-year institution, and could open up teaching psychology courses.
-Option to develop a community outreach project I am passionate about, not sure if there is support for me but there is infrastructure there.
-Partner's family is in the area, and it is a big metropolitan area with lots to do.
-Can get tuition at 25% cost for my partner and I incase we want to get some other degrees.

Cons:

-Pay is not great (does have option of picking up extra summer online classes to earn more).
-My partner and I don't want to live here long term, primarily because of climate, and cost of living is increasing. We are already ready to move, but this is a good opportunity.
-Is contract based, so not as much job security. Having said that, many of the teaching faculty have been there a long time and it seems like the student body for this department is generally growing.

Community College

Pros:

-Pay is pretty good, and there is a baked in growth of salary as long as you stay there long term. Pay could be as much as $15K more starting out than the 4-year institution.
-Small class sizes, so better teacher:student ratio means more involved education.
-Cost of living in the area is pretty cheap (so far).
-Beautiful area and would put us closer to a part of the country we would like to live in long term.
-I do like biology and physiology, just not as much as neuroscience.
-From my understanding there is lot of support and easy options to get into administration if so desired. All the faculty I briefly met had been there at least 7 years.

Cons:

-Only lower levels courses, with little room to develop new ones.
-Not sure how this would impact my ability to switch to a 4-year institution if I end up craving that intellectual stimulation.
-The area is in a part of California that does have issues with forest fires (not the town proper), and the county swings hard in the opposite direction of my politics.
-Small town so there isn't as much to do.

Overall, the community college looks best on paper. We're not planning on having kids so family support isn't as big of a deal. My main concern is if I could switch back to a 4-year institution if I feel like I'm missing something. So if anyone has any thoughts please let me know, in particular if there are other things I'm not considering that you think are worth examining.

Edit: Just to add some additional information. As part of making myself a good candidate for higher education, I have worked as a teaching assistant for several courses during grad school and I have taught online physiology as an adjunct professor at a community college, so I have some experience in both environments.

Thanks ahead of time!

Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

Im part of the EPMO of a healthcare system. We just got licenses and an intro to co-pilot for teams, word, excel , PowerPoint.

I swear this AI will tell you all the questions asked during a meeting. If you join a meeting late you can ask it to recap the meeting thus far. Did you get a sales presentation from a vendor you need to recap and present to stakeholders. Ask co pilot to create a pdf from the documentation the vendor provided.

AI is making my job so much easier but at the same time I kinda feel like I’m training my replacement.

Are you using AI at your job, how are you using it and how do you feel about it use in the workplace and if it will one day replace you?

It's nearly 6am here and I can't sleep because our sitter has decided last minute that she can only look after my pup from 9am - 7pm this coming weekend after confirming an overnight months ago, which has left us scrambling to find suitable care. I appreciate that because my dog has some stranger danger issues we're working through, his care isn't straightforward but apart from that he's young and healthy (no need for medications at specific times, etc.).

We've had multiple paid meetups with her since December last year to make sure he's comfortable around her. We've been explicit from the beginning that we will be back from this event late at night therefore we would be happy to pay an overnight fee and there is the option of staying in the guest bedroom if she's not comfortable travelling home that late at night. I said this multiple times. I understand that part of it is because she's been unwell for a while and another part is needing to get back to her own dogs but this is an absolute nightmare. We've been planning this for months. She's suggested getting someone else to cover the bit from 7pm onwards but because of his fearfulness of strangers I'm terrified of this happening without our supervision.

We have a backup sitter but she's recently gotten a puppy of her own so I have no idea if she'll be able to pitch in and help at such short notice. We need to be at the venue at 9am so my pup will need to be crated until the main sitter arrives - we already can't be there for one handover, the thought of another one having to happen is just more co-ordination to go wrong and more stress and worry for me. The easiest thing to do at this point would be to cancel the whole sit and miss my friend's wedding (at the very least my partner can still attend). There's just no good outcomes anymore: it's either cancel and stay home or we get sitter cover, we both go to the wedding, I'm miserable and worried the entire time.

It's not just this one off thing though. Actually finding a suitable sitter in the first place was a complete headache and it's been a constant uphill battle with trainers too. We had a trainer who was fantastic for several months but then got sick with covid before Christmas and since then contact with her has just completely petered out. Another trainer offered a six week package so I paid for the initial £115 assessment only to be told that she suddenly had to move to Manchester and couldn't commit to six weeks anymore, but she could offer two sessions in the fortnight that she had to get ready to leave (spoilers: she couldn't, turns out moving cities is a lot). A third trainer talked a big game over messages but it was utterly impossible to organise a session with him at all. As soon as I suggested an actual, tangible date instead of asking for his availability for a third time it was radio silence. Our weekly puppy classes are the only reliable constant in our lives.

It's genuinely put me in a bit of a crisis. Am I the problem? Have we just had fantastically shitty luck? Is this just the industry standard? Like, is this normal and does it just suck for everyone? My mood's absolutely spiralled from reflecting on all this, I love my boy to pieces but if this is the typical experience I just don't think I have it in me to own another dog after this. I want to believe that I'm just tired and cranky and it'll get easier once he's 2 or 3 years old, but right now everything around dog ownership is a miserable, miserable slog.

Other dog owners: please, please share your experiences.

To start: I was taught in the 90s when I first entered the "internet" that "everything online is public. The End."
I still adhere to that. I am perhaps a bit overly cautious and whatnot, as I will forego convenience to have the feeling of privacy (though in some cases I believe it's just a smokescreen).

That being said, the main premise to my question is this: I have three cards with which I pay for things. I have a debit card which I use for most purchases, a credit card I use for large purchases I can't immediately cover with my bank account, and a credit card for two specific payments. Every December my company gifts all employees a $100 Visa gift card. I tend to splurge on things I'd rather not have show up in my bank account or credit card, because I feel my purchase habits are tracked (similar as to when I put in a local brewery into Waze... and yeah, I use Waze.)

And now to my actual question: is there a credit company, or a method of credit/debit card I can utilize that will not track/share/etc my personal or purchase info? I had never thought of this idea, aside from the gift cards which usually come with some form of caveat (you lose money on fees for a prepaid card, or you can lose your balance if not spent in a certain time frame, etc) until just now I guess. I found privacy.com which looks kind of legit, but ... I'm always skeptical to start.

All that being said, if you could offer any advice or thoughts on the matter, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks!

(Edit: the original reason I ask this is because I was thinking that I use Discord a lot and would like to throw a few bucks their way and customize my profile or something "fun" like that, but I do not want them to have my info.)

I finally swapped my pre-historic phone for something a little more current and would like to play some games on it. I'm not a big fan of touch controls for games, so I got one of those adapters that allows me to play games with my Xbox controller while the phone is attached to it. Right now I would be interested in MMORPGs as well as things that resemble MMORPGs. Other than that, I appreciate pixel art in general. I am well aware of emulators and will be looking into those, but I have played emulated games for years so it might be interesting to try something else for now. The phone can probably handle most games unless we're talking about something very intensive.

Preferably games that were either made for mobile or adapted well. I don't care for tiny text or tiny UIs.

Zaniness, wackiness, and fast pace are appreciated.

Thanks!

I started listening to podcasts in June of 2017 after having heard about them being great for years but never getting around to listening to them. I preferred music at the time and would put on a playlist or an album if I had a long drive, walk, etc. Once I started listening to podcasts I was hooked. The amount of time I spent listening to music plummetted and since I started I've spent 4% of my time listening to podcasts, I've used the same app since I started which makes keeping track of that easy.

I mainly listen to mine whenever I have some tedious or when I don't need too hard about what I'm doing. Walking the dog, driving, all of the housework, and some video games when I have time to play one and just want to zone out a bit and do something. Its made me enjoy cleaning more which my wife has appreciated a lot.

I was curious when other people listen to podcasts, how you fit them into your schedule, and if you're keen on sharing what your favorites are. I have way too many podcasts bookmarked in my app to listen to but its fun to add more to the ever growing list.

Heading to Japan with my wife for the first time in May. We're having trouble deciding whether to stay in Osaka or Kyoto. We'll stay in Tokyo for about 5 days and then Osaka or Kyoto.

Not interested much in nightlife or partying. But we do enjoy a good cocktail bar and good food. Also planning a day trip to Nara. Any other recommendations about day trips along with any other tips would be appreciated. The amount of places to explore in Japan seem to be endless and I am quite sure we will be planning multiple trips in the future.

But I want this one to be special because it is also our first wedding anniversary. Thanks guys.

The book Emotional Agility ascribes the following characteristics to values:

• They are freely chosen
• They are not goals - they are ongoing, rather that fixed
• They guide you, rather than constrain you

And suggests reflecting on the following questions to identify what your values are, if you don't know:

• Deep down, what matters to me?
• What relationships do I want to build?
• What do I want my life to be about?
• What kinds of situations make me feel the most alive?
• If you woke up and all your material concerns were taken care of, what would you do?

So - what are your values? Did you know them prior to this post, and if so, when did you figure it out?

What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

Recently I have been trying to learn a new language, because I need to more so than I want to, and it's been really tough. While this isn't a shocking revelation, I had a bit of a deep dive to try and think about how and why I don't like learning a language. I do enjoy learning about a great deal of other things in my spare time, why not this?

So I pose the following questions to you:

• What kind of thing do you enjoy learning about?
• Do you find a specific format or type of learning helps you when it's tough?
• Do you always use the same format of learning?
• What do you not enjoy learning? Why? Try and explain what it is that makes it difficult compared to above.

Be interested to hear how different people feel.