UPDATE 2024/04/26: Couldn't find any spot with a Endocrinologist right away so I went to a urologist.

Urologists these days, at least here in Brazil, are well versed in TRT and knows exactly what to look for.

Turns out I have some issues that could be causing my low T. My left testicle is way smaller than my right which indicates that things are not working. I also have varicocele (enlarged veins in the scrotum), which in some cases can cause low testosterone and in a lot of cases can lower your sperm count and quality.

So he ordered blood tests to check all my hormones as well as Triglycerides and other things, ultrasound of my balls and spermogram.

It'll probably take a week or two to have all these done and I'll come back here with the results.

I am also noticing some symptoms besides libido, like poor sleep (I am waking up a lot more in the night, like 4+ times) and really low muscle gain for someone who lifts for 10 years and can push some heavy weight. There are some things in me that it could be linked to this. I feel like I am just pushing through life these days, feeling a little beaten and just going through the motions. It could explain my exacerbated cynicism and lack of interest in everything.

It could be that my body has been working against me for some time.

Original thread:

I am 37yo.

One year ago I did a checkup and asked for my testosterone levels because I was feeling my libido was lower than normal.

The results came back and my numbers were 377 ng/dL, free test was 9 ng/dL and SHBG 23,6 mmol/L.

It was low, but within the normal range.

Everything else was perfectly normal.

Now almost a year later I am feeling that things are worse. I can go a week without feeling any desire. I still have morning wood, but it is not every day like it was. I have sex with my SO, but I can easily lose my erection.

I scheduled an appointment with an endocrinologist from my health inssurance, but it has a spot only in July!

So I went to a lab and did a blood test for testosterone and it is indeed worse.

It is now 255 ng/dL, free test was 6,5 ng/dL and SHBG 19 mmol/L.

I am physically active, lift weights 4 days per week, can squat relatively big numbers, am not overweight (on mornings I have a six pack) and drink alcohol only on weekends.

Is this drop normal when you reach 40s or there is probably an issue here?

I thought HRT was for when we were in our 50s.

Anybody has gone through anything similar and can share your stories?

The kinds of change I'm referring to are hard to put into words. A few examples may be switching from one end of the political spectrum to the other, leaving one country or culture for another, religious conversions and deconversions, or leaving behind one's family. Often, these changes are caused by deeply personal events like receiving a serious medical diagnosis, conflict, the death of a loved one, midlife crisis, or merely examining one's values or beliefs. There are countless other examples of both changes and causes, many of which I've never considered.

There is shared experience between these changes: the world hasn't changed, but somehow everything is different. Everything is in a completely new light; it's as if you've moved between parallel universes. Not everyone has had or will have such a moment, but these changes seem to be the most important in catalyzing who we are. As much as we think sharing opinionated memes or arguing at Thanksgiving is going to shape or mold people around us, it is often personal experiences that actually make such change possible. And some small number of people do experience profound change: racists become antifascists, liberals become stanch conservatives, Christians become atheists. These sorts of life-altering changes are often what tell us most about who a person is.

I made this post because the discussion of these changes are among the most valuable discussions I've had with others, and people often don't get socially-acceptable opportunities to share something so personally important to them. This is potentially a heavy subject, so don't feel that you need to share or elaborate any further than what's comfortable for you.

New job. I've been wanting to learn something new for a while, so I took a project where a lot of React is done. I'm learning it from scratch while I work with React.

I have some comments about it.

1. React makes front end work a lot more like programming -- I like that!
2. Javascript has changed a lot, and for the better, since I last used it over a decade ago.
3. The React-Redux tool kit is the bomb. It should be integrated/absorbed into React. I can't see any reason not to use it, even for small applications as it is less wordy wherever you use it.
4. The updating of state values should be more automatic, especially for flag variables not tied to GUI components. It is the major source of hassles with React
5. Udemy React videos. My company makes them available free of charge to employees. I've sampled videos from a number of courses. I'm not a fan of the instructors showing you how to do things in older, less efficient ways first in a learning/demo project, the ERASING that code to do it a better way. The should include copies of the project at each stage if they do that. I finally figured out that the best way to take notes I can use later is to comment out the old code and put the new more efficient next stage stuff on top.
6. React tests really need to improve. They are often more time consuming than the code itself. The tests have forced me to change my code or do needless testing to get the tests to pass. I had one situation where no matter what I did React test said I didn't cover the code until I broke an else clause off into it's one if clause. Blech.

All in all I've been enjoying learning React. It is neat new ( to me ) thing.

I feel sad that I will likely forget it all when I go back to my specialty language.

This is the second of an ongoing series of book discussions here on Tildes. We are discussing Piranesi.
Our next book will be Ursula le Guin the Dispossessed, around the 16th or 17th of May.

I don't have a particular format in mind for this discussion, but I will post some prompts and questions as comments to get things started. You're not obligated to respond to them or vote on them though. So feel free to make your own top-level comment for whatever you wish to discuss, questions you have of others, or even just to post a review of the book you have written yourself.

For latecomers, don't worry if you didn't read the book in time for this Discussion topic. You can always join in once you finish it. Tildes Activity sort, and "Collapse old comments" feature should keep the topic going for as long as people are still replying.
And for anyone uninterested in this topic please use the Ignore Topic feature on this so it doesn't keep popping up in your Activity sort, since it's likely to keep doing that while I set this discussion up, and once people start joining in.

So this topic is something that could very easily just be bothering myself, but I figured I’d share before unsubscribing to ~misc. If this is the wrong group, I apologize, please feel free to move it to the correct location. I will also preface this by saying I only really view Tildes occasionally, and am not the most active user, so those two things might be contributing to this.

I am wondering if creating an official Politics group would be beneficial to Tildes. I’ve noticed that the majority of recent posts in ~misc is mostly regarding politics. I don’t want to necessarily just unsubscribe from ~misc, in case something non-political and interesting to myself ends up getting put there, but if that’s the solution I’m more than happy to do it.

I just figured that with the amount of activity going on there fairly regularly, either a dedicated ~politics group or a sub group (maybe ~misc.politics or ~news.politics?) would be better? That way other users similar to myself could unsubscribe to that instead of unsubscribing to the much broader ~misc group.

I personally do enjoy the way that Tildes is setup, and don’t see any bad interactions in those posts. It’s definitely more of a personal thing.

That said, I don’t want to make people think that I’m telling them how things should be run, merely throwing my two cents out there, no matter how worthless they are.

Thanks to everyone for posting, and to the mods/admin for keeping everything running smoothly. This really is a solid community!

Preamble ... this is another rambling, jumbled soliloquy that may or may not make any actual points ... or, you know, sense.

"Climate Change is causing the rise in populism".

That is a theory I have entertained for many years -- going back to before the 2016 US Presidential election. And--confirmation bias being what it is--since I believe the theory, I keep seeing anecdotal evidence all over the place connecting the two.

But, thinking about it this morning, looking at it logically ... I still think there is probably a connection, but I'm not really sure. It may well just be a coincidence of timing. And even if there is a connection, I'm just not quite sure what it is. If it is true ... why? What is the actual connection?

So ... why do countries keep electing populist "Trump-like" leaders?

That's already a hard question to answer clearly, without quickly descending into personal attacks and ad hominems and such.

Plus, of course, generalization is problematic ... we're talking about different countries, different cultures, different histories driving each vote. It's not all the same. And yet, over and over again, election after election, it sure looks the same.

I think the main reason is a tribal "fear of invaders" reaction, mostly against the rise of immigration, particularly immigration from (to paraphrase Trump) "the shit-hole countries". Maybe it's an even more basic "fear of change" reaction. But I definitely think, in the US, the rise of Trump was a direct result of the illegal immigration issue -- not exclusively, but that was a big piece of the puzzle. In particular, Trump equating Muslims with terrorists, and Mexican immigrants with criminals, etc.

Here in the EU, immigration -- particularly the 2015 refugee crisis caused by the wars in the Middle East -- was probably the top reason for Brexit, as has been most of the populist surge over here since then. One country after another here keeps electing right-wing leadership based on the "we'll keep out the dirty immigrants" campaign promises. Hungary, Italy, Sweden, Finland, the Netherlands, Poland, the list just keeps going. I live in Germany these days, and I gotta tell you, there is nothing scarier than seeing a huge surge in popularity in the German far-right.

The other top reason that seems to be driving it is some kind of sense of nationalistic self-determination. People feeling like their country--their home--is being changed by Outside Forces, and trying to lock it down, trying to find a way back to the good old days when the white people ran things and the brown people cooked and cleaned for them.

In Hungary, Orban routinely gets massive support with his constant rants about "Brussels" (meaning the EU) trying to force their gay liberal anti-Christian agenda down the throats of decent God-fearing Hungarians, and I see variations of that theme in most of the populist movements.

Right now, I want to say the populist trend is a response to (or rather, a denial of) the consequences of Colonialism and resource depletion. I think (again, over-simplified), people here in the Industrial Western World do not want to hear that the problems in the rest of the world are our fault, and that we have a responsibility to the people there, to try to help address some of the problems we've helped cause ... and instead, people are electing leaders who tell them the rest of the world is going to hell but it's not their fault and if they just lock down their borders, everything will stay "nice" in their country.

Something like that, anyway.

Okay ... so, resource depletion and a backlash against the consequences of Colonialism.

Does that seem like a fair and reasonable generalization of what is driving the rise in populism?

Because none of that is really connected to Climate Change. Sure, it depends on "which" resources we're talking about, but even in a magical hypothetical world where burning fossil fuels doesn't cause the planet to heat up ... wouldn't we still be seeing just about the same results from the Colonialism-and-resource-depletion issues?

But then again, at a global level, everything is pretty much connected to everything else. I feel like, coming at it from that angle, I could make a fairly good argument that Climate Change and resource depletion are pretty closely related, regardless of which resources you're talking about.

Oh yeah ... one more wrinkle. I'm primarily talking about populism in the US, Canada, UK, EU. I actually know a lot less about the situations in other regions. Asia. Latin America. Bolsonaro. Millei. I know there are others, but names elude me at the moment, and I don't have an understanding of why they are getting elected. Are they part of this trend? Do they blow a hole in my logic? IDK.

tl;dr

Okay ... I guess that's my new thesis -- populism is primarily being driven by a denial of the consequences of Colonialism and resource depletion ... which may or may not be closely related to Climate Change itself; I'm still just not sure.

Or, more broadly, more Climate-Change-inclusive -- populism is about people seeing that the world is dying, and electing leaders who A) tell them it's not their fault, and B) promise to save their country, even as the rest of the world burns.

Thoughts?

Pseudo because upgrading some of the parts might have a knock-on effect for other parts. Might end up leading to an upgrade of the whole system, idk. So here's a list of parts that I've already acquired. I was originally going to use some of them to fill out the Framework laptop that I pre-ordered... but I had an expensive couple of months earlier this year and figured I could wait on it. :(

Now here's what I have in my tower currently.

I'm looking to keep the tower at the very least and reuse it for new components. Right now, I know that the mobo will absolutely need to be replaced IF I'm throwing the ryzen chip in. And with knock-on effect, probably the psu as well since these components are drawing more power. The goal is to get a solid 60 fps on Helldivers (which I can't do at the moment, even on the lowest graphical settings) since it's the most intensive game that I play. With this goal in mind, does it make sense to start using the components I have from the first list, or might it be cheaper to keep them for the framework and get older (still compatible) parts that would fit right in to the system as it stands?

I'm an intuitive learner. I learn by constantly asking questions, the answers to which i can then effortlessly remember. By messing around and seeing what happens, and then asking why. Lecturers have been enthusiastic about my approach but said I'm going to struggle because the school system in my country wasn't designed for people who learn like this. I want to kill myself.

The way I see myself learning stuff:

• Here's a fresh store-bought kombucha scoby
• Here's a scoby from the same store that I've been growing for 6 weeks
• If I sequenced the DNA from equivalent cells in each of these scobys, would I find any differences? Why?

The way we are actually expected to learn stuff:

• Listening to a lecturer talk for 12×2 hours, and/or reading the referenced literature. Anything mentioned could be on the test.

I have been trying to do it the mainstream way anyway, but I am getting such bad grades that I've had to re-take a year. Even if I found strategies to help me focus I'd still clearly have a competitive disadvantage to people to whom this approach comes naturally. This feels unfair since I know there is a way that I could learn about my field as effortlessly as other people do listening to these lectures.

How does someone like me succeed in academia instead of just scraping through?

I understand that my prefered methpd which I outlined is what you do at PhD level. I'm afraid that by force-feeding my brain all this information that it currently sees as irrelevant, I will kill my curiousity, which I don't want to do because it's the thing that's allowed me to get this far with practically no effort (I went through the archetypal Smart Kid thing in middle school).

For context, I'm in 1st year bachelor's biochemistry (repeating the year). Although I think that at least in my country, all university courses have the format I described.

Since I am also struggling with ADHD I honestly feel like giving up on Uni and going for some sort of apprentiship-style thing. I would like to have a degree though because it's sort of a requirement nowadays and I am genuinely interested in my subject area. Alternatively, what kind of professions seek my method of inquisitively deep-diving into stuff, as I described?

It seems like Tildes is not going to ever get a block user function.

But it would be really handy if I could get a filter to auto-ignore any topics started by certain users. Would this be something that Tildes would ever implement?

Found a few threads on buying cars and I'm reading though them. Looking for advice on how to sell one.

1. Should I?

I've got a GM vehicle that's just under 10 years ago, but I don't like it. It's got so many more tiny things wrong with it than my previous cars (20 year old corolla, driven into the ground; 15 year old caravan, totalled; 30 years old Buick that gave up the ghost).....I feel like I already got the "best" years out of this GM vehicle and it's all going to be downhills from here. Am I being irrational and should I just keep driving it until it's irreparable, even if the repairs feel more and more frequent and surprising? Essentially I don't have any confidence in this vehicle and I would like to get rid of it and try again with a Honda or Toyota.

2. How?

If I'm selling it, how do I lose less money doing so? Dealerships feel like snake pits to me. Craigslist/Kijiji/Facebook? Do locations matter? Can I sell a car to a dealership in a different province?

I think my son is the cutest six-month-old that has ever lived, but damn, this month has been so hard.

We all had COVID in the beginning of March, so my wife and I burned a bunch of sick days while being very ill, exhausted, and awake all night with a screaming baby. Screaming.

He got better for about 2 days and then immediately got a nasty cold which he kindly passed to us. More sick days, more screaming, less sleep than we got with COVID.

The cold turned into an ear infection after two weeks of horrible congestion, so his doctor put him on Amoxicillin. Except the Amoxicillin didn't work on the ear infection after 9 days of treatment. Oh, and he started having bloody diarrhea.

We went to the doctor immediately and they said, "Oh, yeah, that's definitely blood and that's not great. We're going to try a different antibiotic now and send his stool to get tested."

Then, my washing machine, which was full of diarrhea pajamas, broke down. After several hours of tear down, I was able to drain it and replace the drain pump.

Washing machine was working great, except the gasket/seal on the door is old and didn't go back on properly during the repair. Water on the floor (minor leak, no big) and now have to deal with replacing that.

Meanwhile, the kid still doesn't sleep at night and seems to communicate mainly through crying, whining, and grunting. The fact that he isn't babbling, squealing, or mimicking us is honestly a little stressful. He's six months old and I'm seeing him "become conscious" in a lot of really amazing ways. His laugh is absolutely incredible, he plays with toys in what seems like a pretty advanced way, he is crushing his physical and cognitive milestones way ahead of schedule, but he has a handful of social milestones he hasn't hit yet. My wife has autism in her family and I have ADHD, so any developmental delays are obviously pretty concerning to me. He is making eye contact and laughing though, so I guess that's good.

I really shouldn't complain. I'm a teacher and we just had a week off. Most people don't get that. But I'm so exhausted and work tomorrow just sounds daunting. We can't send the kiddo to daycare with bloody diarrhea and I seriously cannot take any more sick days this year. I guess one silver lining is that my mother-in-law came up from out of state when my wife told her she was losing her sanity over all of this. So, we do have a couple days of childcare covered this week.

Tl;Dr: Month from hell.

Edit: I'll add a positive. He was super funny and full of laughs today and yesterday during the day time (night time still isn't fun). He also seemed to get a little scared during the eclipse today during totality, and I think that's adorable in a way. He did a pouty whine and only stopped when I put him closer to me and let him see my face.

Anyone else want to share some war stories?

Surprised there's not really a thread yet, so I'll start it. What plans have you made for today's eclipse? I know people have traveled from all over the world to see it.

We happen to live in the path of totality so no travel needed. Actually even less travel than we thought. We were going to go to a parking garage at a nearby mall, but it turns out we have a pretty good view of the sun from our backyard! We also went to grab fast food as a treat and saw a bunch of people walking to the nearby park.

How about everyone else?

Okay, this is just for fun, what songs should go in an eclipse playlist? So far I have:

• Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler
• Here Comes the Sun - Beatles
• Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden (and a nice cover by Norah Jones)
• Soak Up the Sun - Sheryl Crow
• Blinded by the Light - Manfred Mann's Earth Band
• Steal My Sunshine - Len
• Eclipse - Pink Floyd
• Bishop's Death - Ladyhawke Soundtrack
• Sunglasses at Night - Corey Heart
• Bad Moon Rising - CCR

Previous posts:

• Comment: Becoming eligible to donate due to change in FDA guidelines that impact gay men
• Topic: I donated blood for the first time!
• Topic: I donated platelets for the first time!

Not sure if anyone here has been following my little personal saga on this front, but I have now officially donated a full gallon of blood products: two whole blood donations (1 pint each) and two platelet donations (3 pints each). All together that's eight pints, or one gallon! Not too bad for someone who just started this in January!

Having done it a couple of times now, I can confidently say that the worst part of the whole process for me is the finger prick at the beginning to check your hemoglobin levels. Because there are a lot of nerve endings on your fingertips, it hurts more and lingers longer than the needles in the arms. Those sting a little bit going in, but the pain isn't too bad and goes away very quickly.

I've been doing the platelet donations on my own, but my husband and I have been doing the blood donations together, which feels really cool to do as a gay couple since we were barred from doing it for so long. After our most recent donations we got free matching T-shirts, so now we can not only donate together but also look super cute while doing it too. 😁

This is probably the final update about this I'll post here. I don't want to come across as self-aggrandizing or anything, and I'm not posting this for any sort of kudos. I'm simply excited to share something that I've waited literal decades to do!

Also, while I was in the chair and watching my pint bag fill up, I did have a thought of "I should ask Tildes about this." In the US, they, of course, measure my donations in pints and gallons. In other countries however, is a pint still the standard measurement used for a "unit" of blood, or do they use a different easy metric unit (e.g. half a liter)?

I posted previously about looking for a house for my disabled partner and myself and after several stressful months we're closing on April 30th!

So, now what? I'm working on home insurance quotes, I have the money arranged for closing. We're in the "these issues need addressed" phase of the contract process (there are no smoke detectors in this house wtf) and the home inspection raised no dealbreakers. No radon or termites.

So what don't I know about? What new homeowner things do I need to be thinking about now? We plan to move in the latter half of May. Accessibility suggestions are also useful, we're going to have to add a small ramp inside (one step), move a cabinet in the kitchen and replace carpet in the master bedroom.

Thanks for all the advice last time, please give me more of it?

Hello once again! I wanted to show y'all some pictures, because today we've hosted our first event.

Check it out!

Today's event is a birthday party for a little girl, her family and friends are all here setting up for a meal and they've got a neat inflatable for the kids to play on. She's turning 2 and folks decided to just go all out for it.

I wanted to share too, how this event is helping out the overall plan. The little girl's grandmother was a caterer before they moved here. She doesn't want to do catering professionally anymore, because the job wore her out. She stopped doing it after they moved, because she was exhausted. The way she tells it, it's a pretty typical story of being worked to the bone for rewards that aren't fulfilling, for a larger business that was mostly just about growth/performance. Turned her off to the whole idea, because she was sick of being pushed past her limits. We got to talking with her and shared some of our own plans - to be a local space, small scale and low key, not trying to grow super fast or get bought by something bigger.

As we shared all this I noticed her grandmother's demeanor change, what was at first a negative recollection turned into a sort of hopeful interest. Turns out she would like to do catering again, she'd just like to do it without the pressures of a larger scale business. I said at one point, that our goal was to be a good place, not the biggest business or the richest people. She gave me her number, and said to reach her whenever we wanted.

I couldn't ask for a better outcome on this one, I think. They paid early too :). Anyway, I don't have just a whole lot more to say, I just wanted to show y'all some progress since I'd already written out so much. Slowly but surely, step by step, it's working out so far. Hope y'all's weekend is good, and I hope to show you more soon!

I'm currently a software developer consultant working as a lead developer in the fintech industry. My team consist of me and 6 other developers of various levels of expertice. I started apx a year ago in this position and the project was to take over an system built by an external company and develop and maintain it going forward. We grew the team over time, so initially there was only me, but after 3 months we'd added a couple of other developers. The most junior developer with only a few years of experience took on the scrum master role at 50%, which allowed the other of us to focus moren on dev stuff. I wouldn't have said the scrum master was a junior level developer based on them having worked for several years. That was my expectation...

After a few months we've continued to grow the team. All in all we are now 7 developers. The person that initially had the scrum master role has since opted to focus more on the dev side. We've accomodated them and since mid january they've focused soley on dev. However, the outcome of this hasn't met my expectations. Working 50% as a dev I understand (and expected) that they wouldn't pick up the domain/system as easily as simeone soley focused on the dev role. Given that they've now had a couple of months I don't really see any improvement however! And, to be clear, it isn't really about their level of output. I'd be content if they were able to show some increased understanding of the domain and/or had increased the quality of their work somewhat. I see none of this and a tendency to "hide" their work (postponing creating PRs so it's hard to judge their progress/need of help, not asking for support, dismissing offers for help when given, non participation in discussions/problem solving etc etc).

Speculating, but to me it seems they are not comfortable in their dev role and I seem to have failed in this instance to establish enough trust (either in me or in the team as a whole). I don't see this issue in the other team members though (even with the more junior people). Complicating things is that I am not their manager. So, it is ultimately not my responsibillity.

Any advice in addressing the issues? Ideally the outcome would be a situation where they have started to contribute to the team in some meaningful way. Should I be more patient? Should I impose help on them, e.g. comitt to pair with them on all work? What is a good and construcrive way to approach this (preferably without being a complete ass)?

I invite You to read and discuss, and if You have Your own "twisted gods", feel free to share!

In RPG and fantasy, we are often faced with a situation where the existence of gods is an empirically confirmed fact, rather than a matter of belief. Two extremes can be distinguished in the representation of these entities (note – I do not claim that all creation adopts one of these two extreme points of view). On the one hand – the trend adapted by e.g. most of the settings for D&D – gods are personification of certain values professed by people, not infrequently they are even „born” from the faith of mortals or at least derive power from it/are shaped by it – gods described as „good” are simply good in the conventional sense of the word, they sincerely care about their followers and you know what to expect from them. On the other side, we have motifs that can be considered taken from Lovecraft’s Cthulhu mythology – the gods are incomprehensible, distant beings, completely unconcerned with human worldviews and so-called „good and evil”, mostly indifferent to humanity (and if by chance their paths intersect with humanit’s ones, humanity is screwed) – at the same time, it is not uncommon for most mortals to be unaware of their existence, instead worshipping imaginary, more anthropomorphic deities tailored to their emotional needs.

In this article, I wanted to present deities standing somewhere in the middle – entities whose goals, yes, are not fully understood by mortals, but nevertheless close enough to human morality that worshippers can find some commonality (real or imaginary) with their patrons. These gods are usually directly interested in some way in the lives of their worshipers – although not necessarily in the way those worshipers would like. At the same time, I wanted each description to contain a hook, an important point where the devotees’ understanding of the deity diverges from its real nature – and whose discovery could be a significant twist.

1. Mother of Peace

The Religion of the Mother of Peace, or the Cult of Harmony, is a strictly pacifist religion. Strictly and absolutely. No violence is allowed, ever, anywhere, in any situation. If you see a psychopath murdering children with an axe, you have no right to use force to prevent him from doing so. You cannot stun him, disarm him, knock him over, or even grab his arm. At most, you can ask him to stop, try to distract him, or stand up to the blow to give the children a chance to escape. Why do people follow such religion? First, the philosophy appeals to some – in the real world, Gandhi said something like „applying the eye-for-an-eye principle will make everyone blind.” – Followers of Harmony believe that violence begets violence, while peace begets peace. If they consistently turn the other cheek and don’t resist evil, they will stop winding up the spiral of violence and constant revenge and eventually evil will disappear naturally. Second – following the path of Harmony brings concrete benefits. Holy priests, who have long been non-violent, receive healing powers from the Mother of Peace – but they only work on other followers, so the policy of „I do violence, and the pacifist priest of Harmony heals me” is impossible. To use healing, you need to sincerely renounce violence – which, on the one hand, reduces your chances of survival in an encounter with hostile beings, on the other – if you come out of it alive, all your wounds will be healed, plus you gain protection from natural diseases and other threats. Third – the priests of Harmony preach that those who live and die, observing the principle of non-violence, will be taken into the bosom of the Mother of Peace after death, who will give them happiness incomparable to earthly suffering – so it is „profitable” to trade your life in exchange for heavenly pleasures.

The religion of the Mother of Peace may be perceived differently in society. It is possible that the authorities are avtively against it – it makes the subjects unwilling to fight, which reflects on the combat power of the state. Or perhaps they support it, seeing it as a tool to pacify potential rebels? Ordinary people may regard the Children of Peace as annoying lunatics – or treat them with deep respect. Even if healing powers may not work on „infidels,” after all, the Children may be able to help them in other ways – such as using conventional medicine (while remarking „Join us and you’ll see real miracles!”).

Well, what is the catch? Yes, the Mother of Peace actually exists. But her goal is by no means to create a utopia where people can live in happiness and peace. Her goal is to weaken the population of a given world/planet/country. When a sufficient portion of the population is transformed into followers of Harmony, for whom the use of violence – even for defense – is unthinkable, and even if it were thinkable, they would became too weak to use it, the time for reaping comes. The True Children of the Mother, hordes of bloodthirsty, voracious creatures, come out to prey and consume the pacified people. The devoured people continue to make prayers to the Mother, who continues to appear from time to time, assuring her followers that this is the final test and whoever perseveres without putting up a fight against the monstrous invaders will be saved.

During the course of the game, players may encounter followers of Harmony. It would be good for the GM to present them as something more than detached hippies, to make the players start to wonder if they are right. Maybe they’ll come across a reformed bad guy – e.g., a psychopathic follower of the god of murder who massacred a village of Harmonious heretics, but their indomitable will and serenity in the face of death made him convert and join them? Or more life-like – a husband who stopped beating his wife and children and is now an exemplary head of the family? Players can act as defenders of persecuted Harmonists (although this will involve some ambiguity – „Harmonists are decent people, but without people like us, who are not afraid to get their hands dirty, thay would survive”). They can have discussions with the priests about the legitimacy of pacifism. Maybe one of the player characters will start thinking about becoming a Harmonist after his career as an adventurer ends? The more sympathetic players become to the cult of Harmony, the more shocked they will be to discover indications that the Mother of Peace may be a much darker entity than it appears. At first, they may trivialize rumors like „Harmonists are actually a fifth column preparing the world for an invasion by dark forces!” as typical denigration of the new religion by the old clerical establishment. But as time goes by, the evidence will become stronger and stronger… Until finally there will be an invasion of the True Children that the players will have to face. Or maybe they will have the chance to prevent it, and will face the dilemma „Whether to believe the critics of the Harmonists and obstruct the great ritual, which, according to the Harmonists, is supposed to help bring universal happiness, but in fact open the gates of the dark dimensions…. Given that in order to do so, we will have to massacre a crowd of unarmed civilians, including women and children?”

The Mother of Peace is portrayed by her followers as a goddess with, one can easily guess, maternal qualities. Perhaps even as a pregnant woman? This is a play on the ambiguous nature of this entity – the presumed spiritual mother-protector of the followers of Harmony, and the actual fecundator of the swarm that will consume them. Players may come across disturbing references to „the coming of the True Mother’s Children” in sermons and hymns – priests may (sincerely or not) explain that it’s such a metaphor, that it’s about the era when people truly dedicated to peace will come.

2. Enemy of Superstition, Destroyer of Magic, Defender of Normalcy

There are many arguments that are made against magic. It is source of obscurantism, superstition and charlatanism, a way to fool people. It violates the natural order of things. It is the work of demons, leading to possession or by destroying the veil of the worlds to demonic invasion. It is the theft of the power due to the gods, a manifestation of human pride. It distracts people from giving honor due to these gods. It brings madness, sucks the life out of the environment, causes the risk of explosions or other side effects. Leads to inequality, as mages can exalt themselves over ordinary people. Or something.

Depending on the setting, each of these accusations may or may not be true. But that doesn’t stop the Defender cult from preaching them. Inquisitors and witch hunters roam the world, collecting magical artifacts, books and even arresting anyone who manifests magical talents. No, they don’t burn them at the stake. All items and people associated with magic go to the Bottomless Wells located in temples – supposedly the only way to effectively annihilate them. Importantly, the hunters are ordered to take mages alive if possible and throw them into the wells – supposedly a mage eliminated in the wrong way turns into a wraith, or something like that. Inquisitors are aided in this work by the magic-blocking powers provided by the Defender.

Witch hunters can be treated by the people as terrifying villains – or as heroes. The reason for the latter attitude is not necessarily solely propaganda and „fear of otherness.” It is possible that the land has actually suffered a lot at the hands of mages – perhaps it has just liberated itself from the rule of an evil sorcerer and his disciples, or it is fighting a fierce battle against a nation that uses magic in a fierce way. It would be worthwhile for players to see some of the negative effects of magic use with their own eyes, so that at the very least they would develop doubts about whether the Defender’s followers are wrong.

What is the truth? It’s easy to guess that the Defender is not concerned with defending the innocent from witchcraft. But neither is he driven by any other selfish yet high-minded motivations along the lines of „magic takes the glory away from the gods.” The truth is that for the „Defender,” magic is just darn tasty. Bottomless Wells are portals leading directly to his insatiable maw. It’s possible that the founder of the Inquisition managed by some miracle to communicate with this entity and make a pact „I will provide you with food, you will lend me and my disciples your anti-magic powers, which you use to safely digest objects radiating magic – and we will use them to incapacitate mages.”

What will happen when the players reveal the truth about the Defender? Maybe the inquisitors will be furious that their holy crusade turned out to be nothing more than feeding an inter-dimensional monster, they will turn their backs on their god, to which he will react with rage (not because of his violated dignity or some other irrelevant value, but because of the vision of being cut off from a steady supply of grub), through one of the wells he will enter the world and the players, along with the inquisitors, will have to face him? Or maybe the inquisitors will react with a shrug of the shoulders and the statement „So what if the Defender is not a noble god, but a voracious monster. Magic is still a threat, and he is the best means to eliminate it.” Perhaps, using the method of the cobbler Skuba (Polish legend), players will toss a special object emanating „toxic”‚ magic into one of the Wells, which will poison the Defender?

3. Truthsayer

God of the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. People swear by his name. He is also worshipped as the god of justice and knowledge, so judges and scholars worship him. Lying brings his curse.

The Truthsayer doesn’t lie about himself – in fact, he wouldn’t be able to even if he wanted to (and he definitely doesn’t want to). The problem is that the people themselves have sung too much about him. As I pointed out above – he is the god of truth and ONLY truth. Justice does not matter to him, it is a totally foreign concept to him…. If he helps the investigators uncover the machinations of the villains, it is only so that the truth will come out, but he does not care whether the result will be the administration of justice. He might as well help the villains discover the heroes’ forays and subterfuges. As for acquiring knowledge – yes, he assists scholars in their research, in order to reveal the truth. However, if a scholar spins unsubstantiated speculations and hypotheses (which happen to be contrary to the truth), even in good faith – he draws the wrath of the Truthsayer. Simply put, untruths make the Truthsayer suffer. This applies to any untruth. Also fantasy. If the Truthsayer’s followers perform a ritual to increase his presence in the material world, they will bring a terrible calamity. From now on, the curse will fall on actors and poets, on anyone who utters a harmless lie like „You don’t look fat in that clothes,” „I’m not mad at you,” or „I’m on my way out,” as well as anyone who uses deception (no, the Truthsayer doesn’t care about the nobility of the cause – if you put on camouflage to sneak under the headquarters of the bad guys and rescue their innocent hostages, you are a hideous LIAR and deserve to be punished). Bah, people in ordinary conversations must be careful not to use metaphors and phraseological compounds. A Truthsayer may even go so far as to seek to eliminate words like „nice,” „tasty” or „good” – after all, they are subjective, and what is not objective truth, is a LIE.

Good player characters can help prepare a ritual to summon the avatar of the Truthsayer – after all, „God of Truth” sounds like a decidedly good dude, right? At some stage, they may realize that the world of absolute truth will be something terrible (maybe some conversation with a philosopher?) and try to torpedo the ritual. Maybe they will be able to accomplish this in advance… Or maybe the avatar will already begin to pass into our world? Then they will succeed in playing him off by pointing out the paradox – people summoned him because they believed he was the avatar of goodness, justice and knowledge – if he exploits this ignorance of theirs, he will benefit from lying, and this would be unacceptable. Or a character with an exceptionally high bluffing skill or the like might try to spew a tale so full of lies and absurdities that the avatar of Truth will go berserk just from listening – but a half-hearted success will only enrage him!

For the Truthsayer, as an antithesis, I would see a god of lies and fantasy – not the typical sinister „Prince of Lies” in the style of the Christian Satan, or some malicious trickster, but a deity whose motto is „Such is the world! A wicked world! Why is there no other world?” (B. Lesmian) or „Be guided in life by such foma (harmless lying) as will give you courage, goodness, health and happiness” (K. Vonnegut), who lies not for some selfish purposes, but because he firmly believes that lying IS GOOD. The real world is cruel and unfair, lying helps to endure it and achieve at least a little happiness – through escapist fantasies, small daily lies „From tomorrow I will take charge of myself and achieve something!” „You look nice”, „Don’t worry, you’re not a failure at all” through big lies like „Good is always rewarded and evil is punished”. In this arrangement, both the god of lies and the god of truth would be morally neutral in practice (both can assist followers in certain situations, but at the same time pose a danger – the god of truth mercilessly punishes anything that is not the absolute truth, the god of lies can entangle you in a web of delusion) – but in theory, it is the liar who is driven by more altruistic motivations and loves mortals.

4. Prince of Blades, Lord of Sharp Angles and Edges

Centuries ago, the Prince of Blades was worshipped as a deity of war, or even slaughter. Legends say that he made the claws of his worshippers – and even their teeth and nails – exceptionally sharp and dangerous to enemies. And the legend is true – albeit the Prince was never a god of war. He is the personification – or perhaps the source? – of all sharpness. He doesn’t care about crippling anyone, although that’s mostly a side effect, he just wants things to be sharp. Or rather – in passing, by his very existence, he makes them so?

Let’s say there is a place where strange phenomena occur. Babies are born with long and exceptionally sharp claws and fangs. Swords and axes made by local blacksmiths are famous for their exceptional sharpness (maybe the player characters just came here to get their hands on them?). Why go. There is a temple of the Prince underground, and its influence radiates to the surface. Cultists come to the town to unearth it – they believe in the Prince in his aspect of the god of war and believe that this will help them triumph over their enemies. When they realize their goal, they are met with a surprise. The cultists are transformed into living avatars of sharpness. Invisible blades cut them so as to eliminate all contortions (a head clipped to a cube is not a pleasant sight), their hands turn into scythes, and in their brains all thought of their own is replaced by a single imperative – cut! What’s more, the Prince’s influence is more and more visible in the neighborhood – everything becomes sharper. The most visible effect from a mechanical point of view is that all weapons (edged weapons to a slightly lesser extent, but also) deal more damage. But as the influence increases, even rubbing clothes against skin starts to be painful, then every touch hurts, until finally the very movements of air cut the skin. If players don’t close the temple, the effects can be really nasty. It is possible that earlier players encountered a strange artifact – a sponge ball. If they didn’t get rid of it, it will turn out to be a „statue” of Our Soft and Oblique Lady, the opposite of the Prince, which what him will mitigate the effects of opening the temple. The battle will take place not between good and evil, order and chaos, or other abstract constructs, but between Sharpness and Softness.

5. Mistress of Natural Instinct

A goddess of wildlife, her followers preach the need to return to a life in harmony with nature and reject the defiling influence of civilization. Oh, it would seem – another „mother Gaia” with a pseudo-ecological cult. The thing is, the Lady is not at all measured by the fact that people are poisoning rivers and cutting down forests, as her followers believe. What she doesn’t like is that they are rational. Reason, consciousness, morality, are evolutionary dead ends. They only multiply pain and suffering. Do animals – much less plants – waste time and resources on some foolishness like art? Do they risk their lives and the lives of others for abstracts like honor? Do they suffer from offended dignity, boredom or lack of meaning in life? People simply combine too much to be happy. The return to nature is not primarily about rejecting technology (although that will probably be a side effect of it), but liberating people from the unnecessary baggage of excess thoughts. Let them become like animals – free, innocent and amoral. This is the purpose of the Lady, which is not grasped (possibly except by the high priests) by her followers. Yes, during ecstatic rituals some of them fall into a trance, during which they walk on all fours, howl and growl. And the priests are able to bring this trance on their enemies… But are the followers ready to accept the truth that, according to the will of their mistress, this is how life should be, forever?

Rest of the book is avalaible here, for free: https://adeptus7.itch.io/twisted-gods

We are just back from a first ever trip to Death valley national Park to check out the wild flowers.

We saw fields carpeted in bright yellow. We also saw more sparse purple flowers. We also drove through areas of the park that were as dry and dessicated as you can imagine. This is the wettest season of the year and it is still the desert.

Some of the highlights for me were the rock formations. We had planned a second day to explore more and hike, but weather prevented it. We still saw very impressive sights. Shout-out to a helpful ranger at the information desk who helped us choose.

One of the best experiences was outside the park. We would have missed this entirely without advice from Tildes. We visited Ash Meadows wildlife refuge where we saw the pupfish. We also saw a roadrunner, a large grey snake on the road, (we were driving) and a very pale raptor, possibly an osprey.

Thank you @chromebby and @worldasis.

Thanks also @skybrian. We drove through Panamint but stayed in Tecopa.

Death valley has not changed my top three so far US national parks but it is beautiful and impressive. I would go back to explore more but not in summer.

This is what everyone always says. It's the big punchline of this console generation.

They say it as if they meant "Sony hasn't made or published any games worth playing since November 2020." That's definitely not true. Sony's released several great, critically acclaimed games on PS5: Returnal, Horizon 2, God of War Ragnarok, and just recently they had Helldivers 2. They've had a PS5 game get nominated for Game of the Year every year.

What people have really complaining about is "Sony doesn't keep their games solely on the PS5, instead they've also been bringing them to PS4 and/or PC when able." Isn't that... good?

I remember during the PS3 and PS4 generations, it sucked that you'd have to buy a whole console for that 1 exclusive you were interested in. I had a friend who got a PS4 solely to play Bloodborne. I saw a lot of people back then interested in these exclusives coming to PC. For convenience, for better graphics and frame rates, for the novelty, for game preservation, for any number of reasons.

Now it's finally happened, Sony's big IPs are pretty much all on PC. You can go buy God of War or Ratchet and Clank on Steam. That's awesome! 15-years-ago me would've never believed that could happen in a million years.

And how did people react? "Why would I buy a PS5? It has no games!" It has games, they're just not keeping the games locked up there serving a life sentence, maybe getting a remaster 20 years later if they're lucky. I also find it odd how the Series X has even less exclusives, releasing games day-and-date on PC, but nobody jokes about that.

I’m wondering what everyone’s favorite YouTube content creators are - I leave my history off and try to avoid YouTube’s recommendation engine, so it makes me hard to stumble naturally on interesting channels.

Please feel free to suggest anything - here are a sample of ones I like with a link or two to a good video from them

• ALFA music (music) https://youtu.be/cLQZyreoZcs?feature=shared
• anndj (music) https://youtu.be/D_XSSIymUZg?feature=shared
• bushradical (homestead stuff) https://youtu.be/UQv9EDpwfqQ?feature=shared
• Gabriel Varga (kickboxing) https://youtu.be/DfboF0CN7fM?feature=shared
• Go Magic (board game) https://youtu.be/hPlkEIrWaXU?feature=shared
• L1011 wide body (old games) https://youtu.be/SV6Lv-McqlY?feature=shared
• RM Transit https://youtu.be/YYVfmMTda0Y?feature=shared
• Scamboli reviews (anime reviews) https://youtu.be/n96aV2rmVGE?feature=shared
• Grappling Academy (bjj) https://youtu.be/v_WjtZVGzvE?feature=shared
• Grace Mandarin (learning Chinese) https://youtu.be/DMGO9CZE2vs?feature=shared
• make your pet (robotics) https://youtu.be/cWNikw-Jsr4?feature=shared
• Munson guitar (easy strum along) https://youtu.be/Ywb8lVYIxUI?feature=shared
• north of the border (clay stuff) https://youtu.be/INU9WD1nxMM?feature=shared
• tabi e (car camping) https://youtu.be/K4TbzyXUCtk?feature=shared

Last week I talked about a bike ride I took along the Schuylkill River in eastern Pennsylvania.

This weekend I rode as far as I could along the Delaware & Lehigh canal trail which parallels the Delaware River, also in eastern Pennsylvania. It is a pleasant, low-traffic, and scenic route for much of the journey. I found myself at peace and grateful that I had this opportunity. It was a zen experience.

Starting in Yardley-borough, I got about 31 miles before I could not go any farther. This was mostly because I started very late in the afternoon instead of in the morning, so it got dark and cold before I could get to the end. Also I was exhausted because I had not rested much. I think that, physically, I could go farther if I allocated more time to it. The trail is about 60 miles from Bristol to the easternmost of the Lehigh Valley cities. That is probably the maximum distance I could personally travel in 1 day on my bicycle. (I hear there is also a trail that follows the Lehigh River west-ish toward Bethlehem; I am not sure if it goes all the way to Allentown. I have not investigated this yet.)

Next time I will aim for about 45-50 miles by starting earlier in the day. My main physical issue is that I get tired, so I need at least one extended recovery break. Surprisingly, there was not too much strain on my back. I suppose it helped that I was not wearing a backpack and instead used a bike attachment for my supplies. I do have trouble with the aggressive forward position in terms of my wrists, though I find that if I hold myself up with my core where possible, that can take the pressure off my joints. Shoulder soreness is usually a problem while I cycle but I was careful to stretch and stay relaxed which I think helped. I did not have any knee problems. I did cut my finger open on a fence, which was not ideal as I had forgotten to bring first aid supplies, but it was minor and the moving air seemed to dry the scab faster. Thankfully it was not infected.

Some other notes about my ride:

• I saw a fox. Deer were plentiful and I almost collided with one (more than once: it seemed to be unsure which side of the trail it wanted to be on). I also saw many geese and several ducks, as well as other birds. Lastly, I saw various dogs.
• It is remarkable how people engage with you in the country. I forget these things now, though deep down they are not foreign; my soul remembers old habits. There is much more trust, or respect. Perhaps that is because I do not look like an 'outsider' (or I do, but not threateningly so). But it was nice to be acknowledged, even in passing, rather than ignored. While I did notice some unsavory political messaging, it was minimal; overall I felt safe.
• This time I brought plenty of food and water, as well as some extra clothing in case I got stuck and needed to stay warm until I found shelter. But while this area is rural, it is far from isolated, so I was not so worried. I did bring a telephone, but I did not need it.
• There were several closures on the trail in areas that were not easy to reroute. The Google Map did not inform me of the closures. I was going north, and for some reason the only signage signifying some of the closures at the previous canal/road crossings was going southbound. This meant that when I encountered a closure, I was stuck; backtracking would have been a few miles in some cases, and double that to get back to my current location (a lot of lost time/energy, and demotivating). To get around this, I simply evaded the barriers (there was no active construction) to move forward, which involved getting muddy. (There was no physical danger to my doing so. Just mud. A lot of mud.) That is not allowed, but I was not going to risk my life on the nearby 55mph roads. I think it is very weird how much effort local towns make to provide drivers with clear detour information and easy alternatives, but how little effort they make for cyclists. Like, there is only one canal trail. How hard could it be to put up a sign? If it was there, it evidently wasn't visible...
• I experienced several barriers which I did not attempt to evade; I followed the signed detours. Some bridges had been demolished, or fallen apart, and I was not going to try to fly over them. I cannot walk on air. Swimming with a bicycle is also not realistic. Fortunately, those cases happened to be areas with very slow car traffic, or almost no car traffic at all, so I was able to find safe routings along roads.
• I only had one vehicle pass me too close. I was nearly driven off the road, which would have sent me down a hill, but fortunately retained my balance. It was luck that this only happened once; the areas of the trail which happened to be impassable to my bicycle were also areas with low and slow traffic. I am annoyed that this driver was so careless, but that was the worst I had it.
• There was at least one point where the trail had to cross a road for cars and I did not realize this, so I ended up following the road instead, a little confused how I could have lost something as linear and unmoving as a canal. For some reason the canal goes inland in some areas. But I think getting lost is not uncommon because I found signage pointing me back to it.
• Several of the towns along the route were extremely cute and I regret that I was not able to spend more time in them. My favorite, New Hope, is utterly disconnected from any sort of transit (and thus I will only ever be able to get there by bike), but it was really, really pretty and ABSOLUTELY BUSTLING with pedestrians. I was pleased with how non-car-dominated it was. There was also what appeared to be a historic (replica? not sure...) train, but I do not think it offers passenger service. (The railroad tracks still physically exist, but they are either only used for freight, or not used for anything at all.) I think I will return to New Hope in the future.
• Several of the houses, not in towns exactly, along the route were also very cute. They reflected a variety of architectural styles, but most were neohistorical in some way and many were actually historical going back a century or more. The area seems to have a decent amount of respect for its roots (compared to many places in the US), although admittedly much of the cuteness of a house is taken away when it is right next to a road featuring 50mph traffic, so this was not universal by any means.

The canal itself was full of water in some areas and empty in others. I could not identify a pattern. Proximity to towns, proximity to construction, width, etc... seemed a little random which parts would be dry. So the canal is not navigable for many miles, and you would need to portage frequently if you were to try to boat up it. But it would be possible for many other miles. The Delaware itself is a monster and after looking closely at the flow rate, I could tell it would be foolhardy to attempt to paddle upstream the river.

I want to take a rest this weekend, so I don't have a date for my next long ride. TBH, I am far more interested in the D&L than the Schuylkill, but it is so much harder to get to. We will see.

I was inspired by another post to think about this question. I am far from the only person who values good tasting good quality meals but is also pressed for time. What do you do? What do you make? How do you prep?

Thanks for any insight.

I often starts playing a game, then quit because it simply doesn't feel like a PC game to me. Sometimes it is because it is a console port, but not always.

I just tried playing VAMBRACE, and got stuck when trying to open a door. There was an "open door" icon right at the door, but clicking it had no effect. Turns out I had to press the action button, which was the E on the keyboard. What's more, all the icons in the game works like this, having assigned a key you have to press. With me having a mouse which is designed especially to click on things on the screen, this makes little sense. It reminded me of the way early homemade DOS games let you use keyboard input, typically in this format:
<P>lay <M>anual <Q>uit
Obviously, VAMBRACE was designed to be played with an Xbox controller. But the end result is a control scheme which grew out of fashion thirty years ago.

I quite hate the Xbox controller. That wobbly thumbstick are just so so uncomfortable, with the forward direction forcing you to move your thumb forward and slightly left in the most awkward of movements. Despite most humans having 10 fingers, the majority of actions are performed by the right thumb which have to move between 4 different buttons. In the Xbox controllers defence, it had to have the wobbly thumbstick as a replacement from WASD + mouse first person shooter movement. But this doesn't change that I'm never going to like this silly gadget.

I can't say exactly what the difference is between PC games and console games. There are of course the controls, keyboard and mouse VS gamepad, but I also feel like there are also some differences in the basic feeling of the game. A lot of consolish games feel a bit like a tech demo with some light interaction throughout, sort of like a rollercoaster ride.

This was something I liked about NOITA. It is designed for PC from the ground up. The aiming requires a mouse cursor, and the wand tinkering would be pretty much impossible without a mouse.

This is an off-the-cuff, stream-of-consciousness post, so IDK how much sense it'll make.

This idea of quitting the Internet is not new for me, but it's also never been a serious, "consider-the-pros-v-cons" plan, either. Just a kind of knee-jerk reaction to seeing things online that remind me (more and more often, these days) that the 'Net is not what I hoped-and-wanted it to be, and it is becoming less like it, daily.

But in recent months, for me, I find myself thinking about it more, more often, and more seriously.

For a bit of context, I am a software developer (I guess), 20+ years in the field, more back-end than front-end, but quite a lot of web development, too. And I've been burned out in my field for the last several years, working occasionally, but mostly just living off of savings ... watching them dwindle, while I try to figure out what else to do with my life.

I also think there is some kind of burgeoning groundswell towards some similar ideas ... many people becoming more and more disgusted with what corporations and governments have done and are doing to it, trying to find some way to walk away from it w/o completely severing themselves from the modern world. The latest generation of AI and the new magic word, "enshittification" are certainly making more people realize that the 'Net is not headed in a good direction.

I could so easily go into a long-winded rant about "this isn't the Internet we were promised", and yada ... but whatever. It is what it is, and many people are happy with it, and many, many more are just quietly resigned to it being a necessary part of life.

For many, many years, I have explored online alternatives, the dark web, assorted distributed-network ideals like Hyperborea and IPFS. I keep seeing potentials, but nothing that ever coalesces.

Again, just stream-of-consciousness here ... anyone else ever find themselves seriously considering this, or something similarly drastic?

Send me a list of things to listen to for a day. Probably best if it's 4-8 hours, but if you want to recommend less (like an album or two) I'll listen and then use the "radio" feature to stream similar music afterwards.

Alternatively or additionally, feel free to get out of your comfort zone and join in on the listening.

Context:

I have a lot of time to listen to music while working. Recently I've been getting bored with my go-to catalog. About 5 years ago I posted out like this on a different platform and had a pretty good experience.

This doesn't need to be specific/catered to me, since that's part of the experience. But if it helps, I tend to listen to pop, electronic, alt rock, R&B, and funk. I also enjoy jazz and 40's music. Here's my last.fm if you want more specifics, though the all-time stats are skewed towards my heavy listening a decade ago.

Edit:

Feel free to post links to whatever you use to listen or no links at all. I don't mind doing some leg work to get it playing on my streaming service.

TW for obvious reasons

As the title says. Mass shooting in a mall/concert hall, at least 40 people dead, over 100 injured. (UPD a day later: the count is now up to 133+ dead, 145+ injured)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2024_Crocus_City_Hall_attack

Luckily I live on the opposite side of Moscow from where it happened, but both my girlfriend and my best friend (and a bunch of their friends as well) live near that area. Nothing happened to them, but it's still very scary and everyone's afraid that more shootings can happen soon.

Some of their friends said they heard gunshots directly under their windows. My gf had a very strong panic attack and still can't go to bed.

I'm not as scared myself because as I mentioned, I live far away from that area, but I'm still very worried for all of the people I know who live there.

That's it, I just felt like I wanted to share this with someone.

I work as a prek teacher. I go to work, clock in, and spend 8 hours actively engaged with kids teaching reading, writing, math, social skills, science, games, and more. I don't have "down time" at work; I'm always on, because I have to be. There are demands of me every moment I'm there.

But what about you corporate folks? I can't seem to figure what you actually... Do?

My dad worked such a job (VP in pharma) and I could never get a real answer from him. He would always just say "I'm busy", he traveled a lot, and as far as I could tell his "work" was just meetings.

Other business folks I interact with, it's the same. They're always playing on their phone, or (my favorite) constantly talking on the phone when picking up or dropping off their kids at school, and ignoring them. A buddy of mine is a senior exec and was able to complete baldur's gate 3 during work hours because he's just sitting around in meetings all day.

How is that work? How does that justify earning 4x+ what I make?

I'm genuinely curious because I've never gotten a straight answer and my impression is that in these jobs you don't actually do anything, but that can't be right.

Sorry if this is a dumb question.

I have stage four colo-rectal cancer. It's not curable. It's not particularly treatable. I'm getting palliative care, but I'm not yet end of life. They're not offering surgery or radiotherapy (yet, that may change). They are giving me chemotherapy (capecitabine and irinotecan) and immunotherapy (cetuximab).

Prognosis is difficult, but if everything goes well I have about 18 months.

I've had 6 cycles of treatment. I had a re-staging PET CT scan and the results were very good.

But, here's the thing: chemo & immuno therapy suck. I don't just mean "I feel a bit bad sometimes", I mean "I feel awful most of the time."

We've just about got nausea under control, but those meds cause constipation and that's causing problems with my stoma. And because the nausea meds are only used for the first week it means the second week I have problems with fast output, and that's causing other problems with my stoma. My stoma team and my oncology team are not particularly joined up. In theory I can build in laxido for the first week and loperamide for the second week but that's complicated because side effects are so variable. And that's just stoma output -- there's a bunch of other stuff around pain, fatigue, skin toxicity (I'm not allowed in the sun, even on bright but overcast days. I have to use three different creams, but not too much of any of them, and they're not compatible with each other), loss of appetite, etc.

One example of how healthcare isn't joined up and I'm getting conflicting advice (there are lots of these): My stoma team want me to wear a hernia support belt to prevent my hernia getting worse, and to help my stoma work properly. But this is a tight broad elastic belt going round my lower abdomen, right where my diaphragm is, and so it makes it harder for me to breath. My physio doesn't want me to wear the belt because it's interfering with fatigue treatment (which is "do more stuff, but do it slowly, and build in breaks, and FOCUS ON YOUR BREATHING"). My oncology team have no opinion and are leaving it to the other teams.

I know some people just want more life, and they don't care about side effects. "Do anything you can to give me more life". But that's not me. I'd much rather have 3 months of mostly feeling okay and then a month of active death over a year of mostly feeling fucking lousy and then a few months of active death.

I don't know how to talk to my family about this. I have spoken to my care team and they're giving me all the options - (1) continue chemo and immuno therapy on 2 week cycles until I die or until it stops working, and try to buidl in better support meds. (2) continue chemo & immuno on 2 week cycles, but build in breaks (3) stop chemo & immuno and focus on pain relief.

Some tricky decisions to be made.

Hi everyone, I haven't seen a post like this before, but figured I would give it a shot (since it doesn't look like the rules/Code of Contact prohibit it)

My fiancée is a huge fan of Taylor Swift, and although I'm mostly indifferent, seeing this concert is a big deal to her, but with the way US ticket sales are through Ticketmaster scalpers are off the charts, charging like $2000/ticket which is ridiculous

I was wondering if any other users here in the US (or North America) might have suggestions on where I could go, or what I could do to find tickets for us that might be more affordable. Most of the shows I go to now use DICE, which prevents scalping but clearly that's not the case with this show

I understand that her music may not be everyone here's forte (it's really not mine) but this would mean the world to her (fiancée) so I'm eager to find a way to make it happen

Thank you!

I was just reminded of that again when going back and looking at some of my old posts on reddit which is openly selling online data. Prompted me to use Redact which erases and overwrites comments before deleting them. But that got me wondering if the same is true of Tildes? And how would we know?

This sci-fi book starts out as a first contact novel. Aliens show up and say "Your planet is dying--we're here to rescue you! Come join our galactic federation!"

Here's the twist: the protagonist emphatically refuses. The world is sick, but humanity is healing it. Successfully. They have been for decades. And they refuse to leave Earth and go explore the stars until the job is done.

Thus begins this story's major conflict. The aliens have visited a few other planets with signs of advanced civilization, and in every case they've arrived too late--the other civilizations have extincted themselves by the time they arrive. The aliens are emphatic that technological societies cannot thrive on a planet's surface; in every other case, either the planet or the civilization dies. The humans are unfazed. Repairing an ecosystem is possible, they say. We've proven it. Are proving it. Yes, there's a hurricane bearing down on us, but the storms get a little less intense every year.

This is a story about meeting people utterly unlike you and finding common ground with them. It's about imagining a better future and working doggedly toward it.

Eco-focused stories usually have a back-to-the-land, pastoral vibe; they want to get in touch with nature by reducing our use of technology as much as possible. That's not this book at all. Our heroes use neural interfaces and networked decision-making algorithms to manage the restoration of the ecology. They write algorithms that weight the vote in favor of community-defined ethical preferences. Technology isn't the enemy--corporations are, which is why the corps were exiled decades ago. Networks and algorithms can be powerfully good when they're used to benefit the many instead of the few.

This book has so much heart and so much beautiful imagery. It is gloriously weird in lots of ways I'm not going to spoil. It's a hopeful book that's giving me ideas I'm starting work on now. You can find it here or in your local library.

A little over a week ago, I got an official diagnosis of hypothyroidism from my GP. Fair warning, this post is going to be a little bit of a rambly discussion of my thoughts and feelings surrounding my diagnosis and other circumstances surrounding it.

I'm a US American, but I moved to Germany to do my master's degree in 2018 and have lived here ever since. I've struggled with depression and social anxiety since before I moved to Germany, but my symptoms got notably worse in 2020 (perhaps unsurprisingly). In late summer of 2020 my psychotherapist finally suggested I go on an SSRI, but she wanted me to get a blood test to rule out any physical causes. I went to my then-doctor and got such a blood test. Everything was within the normal range except for my TSH.

For those unfamiliar, TSH is the hormone your pituitary gland sends to tell your thyroid to get a move on. It doesn't directly measure your thyroid function, but it's a pretty good indicator something's up, so doctors use it to screen for thyroid issues. High TSH is a sign of hypothyroidism, and low TSH is a sign of hyperthyroidism. Your average person with a healthy thyroid will probably have TSH between 1.0 and 2.0, but some variation exists. The normal range that doctors use here has 4.2 as its upper limit. In 2020, my TSH value was 4.8. My doctor then said that people with hypothyroidism have higher numbers than that, so I was fine. She wrote my a prescription for a low dose of an SSRI, which did help me to an extent.

I've been fat for a long time, to different degrees. After I first moved to Germany in Fall of 2018, I quickly lost a lot of weight. There were likely a lot of factors -- I wasn't living at home where snacks were constantly stocked, I was buying food on a student's budget, I was eating out and ordering takeout less because of my social anxiety and shitty German skills, and I was walking a lot more. When I came back to the US for family vacation in 2019, I constantly got compliments about having lost weight, which felt weird. I was still overweight according to the BMI, but more of a classic midsize chubby at that time. But it wasn't to last, and I did start gaining the weight back. For a while it, I attributed this to my getting more takeout and walking less. But a year or two ago it felt like it stopped being directly attached to my activity or food consumption. I went on medication that suppressed my appetite as a side-effect, but I continued to gain weight. Since I was already fat and had been gaining weight for a while, I didn't mention anything to my doctors because I was already getting lectures about how I needed to lose weight and exercise more. I don't know for sure what I weigh right now because I've avoided weighing myself for months, because I'm scared I weigh over 100kg and I can't handle seeing that triple digit on a scale.

I've tried and failed to become more active and start an exercise routine several times. I joined a sports course at university with some of my friends, but I quit after a couple sessions because I was hyperventilating before warm-up was over. I've tried to do some basic strength training, but I'd be sore for days after even incredibly beginner-level stuff. More recently, my wife and I tried to take regular walks through the nearby park during last spring and summer. But I'd tire out after an embarrassingly short distance, not even enough to get to where we see the ducks (the highlight of the park for me). As the weather got worse in winter I basically stopped leaving the apartment. It's a struggle to put my shoes on without an extra long shoehorn so I don't have to bend over, and anything that requires me to tie my shoelaces is basically off the table.

I've been struggling with work for the past several months. I can't seem to focus on it, even if I take my ADHD medication. I look at the computer screen and I just can't mentally handle the work. Every day of work is exhausting, even though I work a pretty cushy job as a data scientist and I work from home. I do way less than 40 hours of actual work a week but I'm still too physically and mentally exhausted all the time to do anything but the most trivial household chores. I haven't cooked dinner for myself in months (thank God for my wife).

I switched to a new GP at the beginning of 2024 bc I was having trouble getting timely appointments at my last one. We agree to do one big blood test covering everything, since I have a myriad of small complaints and it's been years since I've had one. That test comes back mostly normal, except my cholesterol is a little high and my TSH is a smidge above 5. My new GP then says we should do a follow-up blood test to look at other thyroid measurements (this would be directly measuring the hormones my thyroid produces) to see if I have hypothyroidism. I mention offhandedly the interaction I had with my old GP in 2020 and she says that's not how you're supposed to do that; high TSH means further testing even if it's not that high. A few weeks and another blood test later and I've now got a new diagnosis and a prescription for artificial thyroid hormone.

It turns out that pretty much everything I've been struggling with for years now? May be because of my underactive thyroid. Your thyroid is apparently pretty damn important and it not working right (in either direction) can result in a truly dizzying amount of things going wrong. Depression, brain fog, fatigue, and weight gain are all pretty classic symptoms, but apparently it can also cause problems with your lungs or even contribute to carpal tunnel syndrome. Everyone with a properly-functioning thyroid, take a moment to thank that lil butterfly-shaped guy in your neck.

I'm so glad to have something that's basically a "feel better" pill now. But I'm left with a sense of deep frustration that I've had so many problems that even I dismissed to myself because I assumed they were just cause I was a stupid out-of-shape Fatty. It turns out it's actually not normal for someone in their mid-20s at my age to struggle to put on their own shoes without assistance, even when they're obese. Being unable to take a short walk without needing to sit down because I'm exhausted and out of breath isn't just because I'm fat and out of shape. I've had no shortage of symptoms heavily impacting my life, but most of them I hadn't even bothered to mention to my doctor because I assumed they were just Me Being Fat and that all I'd get was (yet another) lecture.

This is, of course, coupled with a lot of anger at my old doctor for not even running any follow-up tests. I've only been on levothyroxine for about a week and I already feel like I have a little more energy. I could have been spared years of suffering if that doctor had only done what she was supposed to. Fuck that.

But at the same time, I feel such relief. This all wasn't just me being a bad and lazy person. There was actually something wrong. And, even better, hypothyroidism is pretty easy to treat. I just wish I hadn't gone through over three years of unnecessary suffering when I could have gotten this treatment then.

The link to join is
tildes.modded.fun
It is whitelisted, so just drop your username either in the comments or in my DMs and I'll add you as soon as I see it.

I saw that @teaearlgraycold is possibly deciding to reopen the vanilla Minecraft server at some point. So, I decided that I'd start up a modded server instead of a vanilla one. Let's see how it goes. It's still in its early stages, like it doesn't have an icon as of now (still working on figuring out why not).

The spawn is at x:0 y:74 z:0 and is on the southern mooshroom island (there's two big islands, so ofc I couldn't resist that seed). The main land isn't too far away, but I'd recommend going east or west if you want a quick trip. We have a horse+boat compatibility datapack, as well. There are trees on the island and I set up a little starting area to the north, on the shore of the southern island. Just replant, breed, etc if you need anything. Also, there's a (very slow) egg farm in the cobble/water near the animals.

I figured we could have two main areas, one on the northern island and southern island (and put a Create train/monorail & bridge between them?). One for living, but also maybe we can create a shopping & gaming district to avoid the rapid progression for players via farming everything and then just taking. Hopefully that staves off boredom and losing interest. Let me know what you think. Right now, Idk what currency it would be other than diamonds or winning prizes.

The main mods we have are:

• Create (and its side mods),
• Rechiseled,
• Adorn,
• ChoiceTheorem's Overhauled Villages (CTOV),
• Bobby,
• MouseTweaks,
• Traveler's Backpack,
• Clickthrough (toggle with F9),
• McPaint (custom drawings for paintings),
• No Chat Reports.
  There are some more that go with these, like smaller ones and required libraries.
  This is a Fabric 1.20.1 server. I recommend downloading the zip for all the proper files, as there's a resource pack for McPaint to work, the list of mods and datapacks, and the config files if you need/want them.

You can download the zip of mod configs/mods/required resourcepack/datapacks here:
https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/pz76nmyxgk7lamagg1opq/TildesModdedMinecraft.zip?rlkey=wepd36lr7g022vy4bh5juz2pq&dl=0

Some things to note:

• Hold "W" to ponder items/blocks in Create to learn how they work.

• Throw an egg on a painting to turn it into an easel to draw on. After drawing, save your work first, then export while holding a regular painting in your hand. Then place your drawing anywhere!

• We have recipe fix datapacks as well as custom head drops from mobs and players.

• Ask questions and report bugs to this thread/in my DMs.

• Don't break any spawners.

• FireTick is off.

• Phantoms don't spawn.

• keepInventory is off.

• PVP is on.

• The seed is -3315377300917012846.

Given the fact that Yuzu (a Nintendo Switch emulator) and Citra (a Nintendo 3DS emulator) were recently taken down by Nintendo's legal team, is there a reason why Dolphin (an emulator for Gamecube and Nintendo Wii) is still going strong? Did Dolphin take any extra steps to protect themselves from lawsuits, or it's just a case of Nintendo taking their time?

I took a 25 mile or so bike ride yesterday. I intentionally brought NO technology at all... no phone, no music, no whatever gadgets. No maps either but I knew where I was going (mostly). Was only planning on a short ride but the weather was just perfect and hey, I had my water and I was on a fully-separated trail.

My thoughts:

1. I do not have the lungs I used to have. Or the back. Heavens.
2. It was nice to get out of the busy parts of town. I like the quiet places. Reminds me of being a kid. Saw some nice flowers. Appreciating the temperature for the 2 weeks it's bearable.
3. It was VERY nice to not have the distraction of my phone at any point during the trip. Also, when I got slightly lost at one point, I was forced to speak to another human to ask for directions. Ah yes, what a concept. Going to do this more often, go places and leave the phone at home, haven't looked at it all day today either... makes a big difference and grounds me a lot better in whatever I'm doing.
4. I always forget how far you can go on a bike and not realize you went that far. It's so fast. I usually walk places, so that's my speed. On my bike, which I mainly use to buy groceries, I don't usually go more than five miles at a time these days, and I'm in the city so I'm usually stopping at red lights and stuff.
5. The part of the trail nearest the city was ridiculously overcrowded and the path definitely needed to be widened. Cycling/pedestrian traffic should probably be separated for that section. Just sooo much weaving back and forth right now, hah. I think this might be partially alleviated with the southern extension that's happening soon (I don't know when exactly but there's visible construction progress), as it could maybe slightly spread out the people, but that will also bring in more foot traffic. Well, it will still be nice.
6. Not so keen on the loooong stretch of trail that is literally 1 foot from vehicles on an arterial road. I have been here plenty of times before, I just don't like how fast the traffic goes and the fact that there are no physical barriers between the "trail" (sidewalk, in that section) and the cars. No driver on there was respecting the speed limit and I think a lane of traffic needs to be taken away to turn into a green buffer zone... ideally with a wall.
7. Only one obvious mile-long (idk) gap for the distance I traveled. It's a surprisingly well-connected trail. I have no idea how they ought to connect the two current segments, but the infrastructure would be a little expensive no matter what (it would probably require a bridge?), so I understand why it hasn't happened yet. At least it was short.
8. Parts of the trail I was riding on were blocked off in areas where construction contractors should have made basic effort to install a temporary surface instead of leaving a massive ditch in the ground for literally no reason (and it's been there for months, apparently!). A literal plank of wood would have sufficed. Lazy! Oh well.
9. A few areas of the boardwalk near the canal were rotted and some thoughtful people had stuck wood poles in the holes and marked them with bright flags for visibility. Helpful. Ought to be repaired though.

For eastern PA people, this was the Schuylkill River Trail between Christian St in Philadelphia and up to Shawmont or so (just past the Manayunk Canal, but not all the way to Conshohocken), plus some cycling in the city to get to the trail. I thought about going further but decided not to because I did not have a snack.

The trail does go more or less to Reading and AFAIK is quite continuous most of the way there, but I haven't taken it that far in a single go. Next time I'll bring a granola bar or two.

Next week I will see how far I can go on the Del & Lehigh canal trail before my heart gives out. Pretty dangerous to get out there as the city has made meh effort to connect the Delaware River Trail downtown to the start of the Canal Trail by Bristol. The suburbs in Bucks Cty past Glen Foerd... even less effort. The East Coast Greenway route has you going on some insanely dangerous roads. State Rd sucks. Might take the train out to Bristol or Yardley instead. Not my favorite activity with a bike. SEPTA regional rail not designed with bikes in mind.

Been checking out the infrastructure plans for the Del trail, but they are kind of lackluster. Great, and important, but really insufficient. And mostly years out from being anywhere near complete. Unlike the Schuylkill, the Delaware is too industrial to be considered "cute" and therefore has had far less attention downstream of the canal towpath. Extension to Lehigh Ave (map) is planned but has no specific timeframe. Community-approved but land acquisition required. Guessing done by 2025-27? Lehigh to Pulaski, Bridesburg to Tacony, Tacony to Holmesburg, no idea... and dear lord the gap between Holmesburg and Bristol is nuts. Guessing 2035 for some of those, 2050 all the way to Bristol.

Just unacceptable that both the SRDC and the DWRC have to fight for scraps for ONE single trail (respectively) while govt has no prob spending bazillions on roads for cars. Just nuts. Literally one trail is all I need to escape sometimes. So BRB, going to write to my Councilmember.

Greetings Tildeans!

I am wrapping up my Ph.D. and am pursuing a teaching-focused career in higher education. I am currently in talks for a 4-year institution teaching faculty position that would revolve around teaching a subject I am passionate about and could provide a lot of intellectual stimulation. Unless something wild happens the offer is there and we are just negotiating the parameters. I also have a position that is in 2nd-phase interviews for a community college tenure track position that would be teaching general biology, anatomy, and physiology. I feel optimistic that they are going to offer me a position, but nothing is concrete yet.

I'm at this impasse because both have really good reasons for doing them and would provide experiences unique from the other. I am trying to balance the pros and cons between these two positions and consider what might be good for my career in the long run, and so I was hoping I could get some advice. Even if you're not in academia I think it would be helpful to get some outside prospective. I'm gonna list my thoughts on it below.

4-year University

Pros:

-Teach upper level and domain specific courses with opportunity to design courses I am passionate about.
-Integrated into scientific community if I want to to do more research/keep abreast of scientific advancements.
-Great community of teaching faculty with lots of support.
-Could be good curriculum vitae experience if I want to stay teaching at a 4-year institution, and could open up teaching psychology courses.
-Option to develop a community outreach project I am passionate about, not sure if there is support for me but there is infrastructure there.
-Partner's family is in the area, and it is a big metropolitan area with lots to do.
-Can get tuition at 25% cost for my partner and I incase we want to get some other degrees.

Cons:

-Pay is not great (does have option of picking up extra summer online classes to earn more).
-My partner and I don't want to live here long term, primarily because of climate, and cost of living is increasing. We are already ready to move, but this is a good opportunity.
-Is contract based, so not as much job security. Having said that, many of the teaching faculty have been there a long time and it seems like the student body for this department is generally growing.

Community College

Pros:

-Pay is pretty good, and there is a baked in growth of salary as long as you stay there long term. Pay could be as much as $15K more starting out than the 4-year institution.
-Small class sizes, so better teacher:student ratio means more involved education.
-Cost of living in the area is pretty cheap (so far).
-Beautiful area and would put us closer to a part of the country we would like to live in long term.
-I do like biology and physiology, just not as much as neuroscience.
-From my understanding there is lot of support and easy options to get into administration if so desired. All the faculty I briefly met had been there at least 7 years.

Cons:

-Only lower levels courses, with little room to develop new ones.
-Not sure how this would impact my ability to switch to a 4-year institution if I end up craving that intellectual stimulation.
-The area is in a part of California that does have issues with forest fires (not the town proper), and the county swings hard in the opposite direction of my politics.
-Small town so there isn't as much to do.

Overall, the community college looks best on paper. We're not planning on having kids so family support isn't as big of a deal. My main concern is if I could switch back to a 4-year institution if I feel like I'm missing something. So if anyone has any thoughts please let me know, in particular if there are other things I'm not considering that you think are worth examining.

Edit: Just to add some additional information. As part of making myself a good candidate for higher education, I have worked as a teaching assistant for several courses during grad school and I have taught online physiology as an adjunct professor at a community college, so I have some experience in both environments.

Thanks ahead of time!

I drew a LOT in my childhood and youth, but later forgot about it. My skills and my patience is pretty much gone. I look at my old drawing and wonder, did I really make that? Damn. But I'm slowly trying to get back in the game.

I know how to get the outlines in place first, but I'm unsure how to go about the shades of grey. Some instruction online suggest that you concentrate at one area at the time. Others seems more like you're supposed to start out with the brightest shadows and slowly move towards softer leads.

Does any of you have some kind of structure here?

Hey there,

I wanted to know which sets of passports grant together visa-free access to every country in the world, but I could not easily find that info online. So I figured that I could try to write a small program to determine these sets of passports myself, and then it occurred to me that it would probably be a fun programming challenge to organize, so here we go.

Here's the challenge.

1. Scrape the data you need for instance from The Henley Passport Index.
2. Design a clever algorithm to efficiently find out which are the smallest sets of passports that will grant you visa-free access to every country in the world.
3. Optional. Allow the user to specify which passports they already hold and find out which sets of passports would complement their passports well.
4. Optional. Rank the sets of passports by how easy it is to acquire citizenship in those countries.

The choice of the programming language is yours, bonus points if you write it in assembly 😂

Feel free to collaborate and share your solutions (the algorithms and the actual results) in the comments, and feel free to share your own twists to the challenge that could make it even more fun & interesting.

The person with the most clever, efficient and elegant algorithm wins!

Happy coding folks!

Hi logophiles! I am a total word nerd. Over the last six years--mostly accidently--I ended up creating a bunch of vocabulary learning materials and spent way too much time thinking deeply about how we learn new vocab and how to teach it. My story: basically, via word of mouth, people with kids taking the SSAT and the SAT kept asking me for my materials which I continually iterated on as I got feedback. It wasn't my day job, lol, it wasn't even a side hustle.... just an obsession :) As I shared my "system", I kept dreaming of even better ways to make vocab learning effective, easy, and fun.

Some interesting things about learning vocab. The "keyword method" is extremely effective. (The keyword method is associating a target word with a similar-sounding word (the "keyword") and then creating a vivid mental image connecting the keyword with the target word.) [Ávila & Sadoski, 1996; Shapiro & Waters, 2005]. Further, connecting the new word and its meaning to your own personal experience is much effective than rote memorization. ("...engaging in deeper semantic processing and relating information to personal experiences can activate distinct neural circuits compared to those involved in rote memorization." [Andreasen, O'Leary, Cizadlo, Arndt, Rezai, Watkins, Ponto, & Hichwa, 1995]).

There are a lot of other cool things I discovered on my (research-obsessive) path to make learning vocab radically easier. A core driver for me has always been thinking about the epistemology of word-learning. What does it mean to "know" a word? "Knowing" a definition is different from truly knowing a word, where you can deploy it effortlessly when the context is right. That led to endless rabbit holes of learning about polysemy, colocations, and a whole lot more.

The first day I saw Dalle my jaw dropped. This was it! This was the missing piece for learning vocab 2x, 3x, 4x(?) more efficiently than has ever been possible. The image generation AI tools can make a custom image that packs in your own favorite keyword mnemonic and your own personal story into a cool image. Whoa! Because what has been my total obsession could finally be created in the real world, I teamed up with two good friends with the technical chops to build what had been percolating in my brain for six years. We've built a beta version over the last four months and it is ready to test!

I love Tildes, and I don't want to self-promote, so I am not going to drop the app name / website, but I am here with an ask. We want feedback! We want to make this the dream app for anyone who is serious about growing their (English) vocab. We want you in our beta test group.

The commitment I'm asking of our beta testers is a bit onerous. I want to hop on a zoom call with you while you use the app for an hour or so and have you tell me what you love and hate. I want to ask you a bunch of questions about what you want to see in your dream learning app. Then I want to give you the app for a month a two; hopefully you'll use it and learn a bunch of words; then I want to hop on a 20 minute call with you and get your hot take on the whole thing.

It is such an intense passion project for me; I want to make the app just rock-your-world-awesome. That's why I want to do live user interviews. (Which is a little out of the ordinary for sure.) And I can't do that without talking to real people who care about growing their vocab who are willing to hang out with me for an hour or two. :)

As a thanks for your help, when we go to the paid version, you'll get three months free, and a massive lifetime "friends and family" discount. But more than that, you'll really impact what we build next, and how we can make it better. While it's maybe a little idealistic, or might even sound silly to some, I feel like better vocab = better communication = better relationships. So I am all-in, fervently devoted, and hopeful that you'll come along for the ride and help me make it epic.

Who is it for? Studying for standardized tests? Oh yeah. This will help a lot. Want to raise the ceiling on what you can read. Let's go! Want to improve your English skills? This is for you. Love words. Yep! I'd love to meet you! Basically, if you love words, and/or have something coming up that requires that you know more words, I really hope you'll be part of our test!

More interesting stuff about vocabulary:
--Average high school graduate has a vocab size of 16,000 words
--Average college grad, 20,000 words
--Average PhD. 28,000 words

Tildes is a very smart and well read group, so I' bet the average vocab size around here is 25,000 to 35,000. Want to know your (approximate) vocab size. One of the best (easy and fast) tests is here:
https://preply.com/en/learn/english/test-your-vocab
(I have nothing to do with that site or company, and do not endorse them. It's just that their vocab size estimator is really well done.)

Want to be a beta tester, or just talk more about vocab, shoot me a message!
pandacat@onmail.com

This is the first of an ongoing series of book discussions here on Tildes. We are discussing Cloud Atlas.
Our next book will be Piranesi, sometime in the third week of April.

I don't have a particular format in mind for this discussion, but I will post some prompts and questions as comments to get things started. You're not obligated to respond to them or vote on them though. So feel free to make your own top-level comment for whatever you wish to discuss, questions you have of others, or even just to post a review of the book you have written yourself.

For latecomers, don't worry if you didn't read the book in time for this Discussion topic. You can always join in once you finish it. Tildes Activity sort, and "Collapse old comments" feature should keep the topic going for as long as people are still replying.
And for anyone uninterested in this topic please use the Ignore Topic feature on this so it doesn't keep popping up in your Activity sort, since it's likely to keep doing that while I set this discussion up, and once people start joining in.

I've tried before to get input on this, but online it doesn't go anywhere and IRL people don't seem to understand. Thought about putting it in the /~finance area, but I don't know that it's really a finance issue, plus things there seem to be wider-scale financial in focus. And there's no /~advice page, so here it is:

I feel like I should be making more money lol. Now immediately, that sounds greedy or either capitalistic/anticapitalistic, depending—I know it does, but hear me out. I have a great job that pays ok but not great, and tons of free time; in my mind, and if I'm being honest in my field, chasing a 5% raise is low ROI and low likelihood of even happening. There is little room for vertical movement, but enough security that it seems crazy to make any changes. Post-college, I have had a pretty varied career background, I am very good at editing, research, training, tech, etc. but I am not an "idea person" and I don't have a lot of marketability or self-promotion ability, it seems like (also no coding abilities, which is always a suggestion; I've tried, believe me, but my brain won't do it). I'd rather edit your book than write one of my own, not because I'm afraid of rejection or can't commit to doing something/run out of steam, but because the steam just isn't there.

I don't feel the need to change careers, but I am also feeling super unfulfilled. I've worked on doing things to try and fill that gap, hobbies/other pursuits/etc, but I am haunted by the fact that I am using such a small part of my bandwidth, when it seems like I could be outputting at 2x or 3x and earning similarly. I've applied for contract work, freelance, all that stuff, but it is spotty pay at best—what I want, short of a medieval patron/wealthy benefactor, is a second job I could do on top of this one. Which leads me to side-hustle-type rabbit holes on starting an Etsy shop/a YouTube channel/a Patreon page. But when it comes down to it, I don't actually feel any passion about doing any of those things, and I can't get a narrow enough niche figured out to even come up with a potential audience. I've avoided specializing because I wanted to do all kinds of things, and now I've done that, and I feel like maybe it was a mistake. I just want to have the resources available to do what I want. Bills are paid, life is good, but I feel like I am spinning my wheels: even writing this out is like a roller coaster of feeling shame that I'm not satisfied or that I'm ungrateful, then being frustrated I can't make it happen the way I want, on my own.

Because see, I didn't say I deserve more money; I want the opportunity to earn more money. There are a ton of things I would be perfectly happy doing for a living, or for a second job. And more money might not even help—if I was a trust fund baby I be in a similar situation. But what the fuck should I be doing then? I guess what I really want is for someone to say "Hey, I need this job done, I'll give you $XXk a year to do it" like it's 1980, and then I know I am serving a purpose? And I wouldn't feel guilty about time left over, because the job is Done. But part of me is afraid that, even if that somehow magically materialized, I would feel the exact same way I do now.

so what do tilderinos?