Welcome all to our weekly (ish) gardening group discussion!

Feel free to discuss anything related to gardening, beginner or advanced, challenge or success.

‘Seed’ questions?

1. How long have you been gardening?
2. What’s the best pearl you have learnt?
3. What are you worried about happening this year?
4. When in the season do you enjoy gardening most?

last session

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

Some of you may remember me from another thread, where I hemmed and hawed and fretted my way through trying to navigate my struggling relationship. I thought I'd reached the final chapter, I moved out and established a place for my child and myself. I cut as many ties as I could with my now ex, but of course several threads still remain.

Yesterday (April Fools of course) I found out that they had been cheating on me since last May, at least. Potentially longer. Of course, I'm devastated. I knew they had found someone else already recently, but I thought it was in the last month or two. This new piece of the puzzle has solved so many unanswered questions I've had, while also creating many new ones.

I feel used, financially/emotionally abused, gaslit, and more. I'm still working on processing everything. I'm trying to remain calm for the sake of the kids (especially mine) but it's really, really hard. I know it isn't a reflection on me - I tried everything I could to fix things. It is hard however not feel that utter sense of betrayal in my gut and soul like a knife.

What resources, reading, supports, guides are there for this? I'm just trying to get through today and then I have a three day weekend to work on processing this all.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

My wife and I just had a baby and are now soaking it all in on maternity and paternity leave. Currently, my wife still has a few weeks of recovery before she is mobile so we have a lot of "tv time" on our hands and are struggling to find things to watch. I was hoping Tilderinos might be able to make some suggestions to fill our sleepless days and nights! It doesn't have to be current and we have a range of borrowed streaming logins so the world is your oyster!

I've added some recent favorites from each of us to give you an idea of our preferences, but don't feel like you need to follow those if you are really excited to share something!

Me:
Shogun
Hilda
Good Omens
The Great Pottery Throwdown
What We do in the Shadows
Bad Sisters
Yellowjackets
Sex Education
Alone

Her:
Gilmore Girls
Outlander
Sullivan's Crossing
A Discovery of Witches
My Life with the Walter Boys
Emily In Paris
Valeria
XOXO Kitty

Both:
Great British Bakeoff
Severance
Clarkson's Farm
Designing the Hebrides
The Office
White Lotus
The Last of Us
Winx Saga (weirdly :) )
The Good Place
Younger
Brooklyn 99
Bridgerton

I've got a group of people at work with whom I started a games lunch club. Sometimes we also try to make games happen in the evening after work, or on a weekend. I noticed that some of the guys often use these terms:
"I have to ask the boss."
"I got permission! I can go to the after-work game."
Mind you, I think these are also the guys who have kids. For transparency, I do not have kids, but I do have a partner and dogs.
So, what do others think of this line of thinking? These are the 3 options that I always think about:

Option 1: These guys will use their spouse as a convenient excuse to say they don't feel like going to the event. "It's not me. I wanted to. But she calls the shots." I find this pretty silly. Just be honest. Why lie and, worse, pull your spouse into your lie?

Option 2: Shouldn't relationships be more equal? There should not be a "boss". You should not need "permission". Just be accountable and responsible. Prioritize your family over a game, and just say it. "Sorry, can't make it. Family commitments." This is totally ok. If you want to go, but know you have a previous commitment, and you have to ask your spouse if you can bail out of the previous commitment to play a game, I think you should probably make that decision yourself. She's not your mom, she's your partner in life! You should probably skip the game.

Option 3: They are saying it in jest. They may think saying it like that is funny and it implies they prioritize their family (a good thing).

In general, these types of phrases remind me of "happy wife, happy life" or "yes, dear" which I associate with something a senior citizen from a different generation may say. I thought my generation (millennial) was over that and had more egalitarian relationships where the couple is a team.

What do others think? It's hard to rely tone in text-only, so I will just say I'm writing this not out of frustration or anger, but just because I found it interesting and sometimes I like thinking of these things and seeing how others perceive them.

I used to really value the art of essay writing. There seemed to be such a richness in the different ways people would construct arguments, structure those arguments, then deliver those arguments stylistically, not just from the perspective of being persuaded as a reader but also from the perspective of seeing how a given writer thinks, relates to the living tradition of language, and understands the world conceptually. But it's basically lost most of its meaning to me in this age of LLMs. The reality is, LLMs are capable of writing texts that, if you gave them to a seasoned reader 5 years ago, they'd say it was well written and indicative of a truly thoughtful mind. Even if there currently exist certain tells with LLMs, those styles certainly existed in different ways in real human writing beforehand. Now, those perfectly reasonable set of styles are verboten and we have to dedicate half our deep focus to figuring out whether, or to what extent, an essay or article was written by AI. It's difficult to enjoy, let alone care, about essay writing and the writers behind them now.

I can still find value in books, though, because they were written in the past and I don't mind never reading any non-scientific book published after 2022 if it comes down to it.

You're the glue, the leader, the center of gravity, the one making it happen.

Without you, it would probably fall apart, cease to function, or stop.

What is it?
What do you do?
Do people appreciate your role, or is it invisible?

Here is the schedule for the upcoming year

Last week in August - Cats Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut,

Last week in September - Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang

Last week in October - The Poisoners Handbook: Murder and the Birth of Forensic Medicine by Deborah Blum,

Last week in November - We are Legion (We are Bob) by Dennis Taylor,

December break for the holidays.

Last week in January - Fire on the Mountain by Terry Bissen,

Last week in February - The Truth by Terry Pratchett

Last week in March - The Metamorphosis by Kafka,

Last week in April - The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane by Lisa See,

Last week in May - Pnin by Nabokov,

Last week in June - How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying by Wexler,

Last week in July - A Psalm for the Wild Built by Becky Chambers,

Last week in August - Light From Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki

Last week in September - Dr. No by Ian Fleming

This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

I've been working on an ocean life repository website for work, and I found myself randomly rambling about sharks because they've always been such a fascinating example to me of how evolution can keep a very recognizable blueprint while splitting into a ridiculous range of lifestyles.

A whale shark, a thresher shark, an angelshark, a tiger shark, a goblin shark, and a reef shark all still read instantly as "shark", and yet they're doing such different things that it almost feels wrong. Filter-feeding giants, ambush predators, open-water hunters, deep-sea weirdos, tail-whip specialists. All while still sticking to this unmistakable shark... ness?

I've been trying to pin down what I even mean by that "blueprint". Not just body shape exactly, but some deeper structural identity that survives a lot of diversification. Other groups feel a bit like this too. Felines, canines, birds… they can branch into very different niches, sizes, and behaviors while still feeling strongly constrained by a common template. A tiger, a lynx, and a house cat are all very clearly "cat". Wolves, foxes, and chihuahuas are very clearly "dog". Canaries, hawks, parrots, and hummingbirds are all still "bird".

It fascinates me how common this is in evolution: nature finding one robust structure and then radiating outward in very different directions without losing the core design. Not the most morphologically extreme variation possible, maybe, but variation under a very conserved plan.

Sharks just feel like one of the wildest examples of that.

So: what's everyone's favourite shark, and why?

Mine is probably either the lemon shark or the thresher shark because of how smart they are. Lemon sharks are fascinating for their social behavior and learning, then threshers are incredible both for that absurd tail and for feeling like such a weirdly specialized, clever branch of the shark blueprint.