This is going to be a bit of a ramble.

I'm not even sure where to even start.

Browsing r/egg_irl has me confused. Am I trans? What does it mean for someone currently living as their birth-assigned-gender to be trans? Would I be happier as a woman? Or non-binary? I don't feel major bodily disphoria. I don't dislike my body. I am curious what it would be like to have a female body.

When I was a teenager I read Commitment Hour, by James Alan Gardner. It's about a village where young people switch back and forth every year (go to sleep as one, wake up as another), until they turn twenty and have to choose one or the other. I loved it. I fantasied about what it would be like to quickly switch back and forth. I liked the idea of finding out what it's like to have a female body without having to permanently commit to it. That fantasy has tempered a bit since then, but I wouldn't say it's completely gone.

I've been growing my hair out, but I've also grown my beard out. Both started as laziness. I didn't feel like bothering to get my hair cut or mess with shaving my face. I hate shaving. Now it's something of a security blanket. I feel exposed without them. Another reason I grew my beard out was because there were a couple of times when I was a teenager that a stranger thought I was a girl and it made me uncomfortable. I grow hardly any chest hair and I like it that way; but I have a lot of leg hair, and I like that too.

I've never been the macho type or had much use for machoness.

I don't know If I would like being female, or if I just like the idea of it. There have been other things that I liked the idea of but not the thing itself. How can I respond to others seeing it as a phase if I'm not even sure myself if it's a phase.

I don't like the social stigma around it. I come from a conservative family. I don't know how they would react. I live in a small predominately Mormon community where everybody knows everybody and gossip runs rampant. I don't know if being female is what I really want, but I at least want the space to experiment and find out.

I don't know what I want and I hate not knowing. Even deciding whether or not I should even type this out, let alone post it, has been a major mental battle.

I've been on Tildes a while, but I created a new account because my main account could be connected to my real identity and I'm so not ready for that. Even putting this out there anonymously has me terrified.

I have an undergrad degree in polisci. I was planning on going to law school, but got rejected everywhere I applied. I am really reconsidering going to law school. Last couple years, I realized that I have a genuine interest in coding, and I could pursue it as a career. I learned C++ with online tutorials, and I think I am proficient at it, or at least have the potential to be much better.

Anyway, money is tight, so I would really appreciate any input you have about a career change. Thank you!

(If this belongs on another sub, please let me know)

EDIT: I am in the U.S. I can move states if necessary.

I am considering to start an educative podcast in a couple months (just considering, nothing certain). I want to monetise it with a freemium model where the most elementary thing---the audio---is free or very cheap (e.g. $1 on Patreon), but handouts (non-essential but very useful) are slightly more expensive. It will probably be weekly to begin with, and I mgiht add some extra material if it will be viable financially. I can't really afford pro or prosumer gear at this point, so I'd like to avoid that if possible.

My question is, what are your tips for a totally beginner podcaster like me? Either my case directly, or a more general newbie with little funds tobdedicate to this in the beginning.

I've been interested in meditation for some time now - tempted by the insight into the human condition that it purports to offer - but I haven't yet experienced any kind of 'breakthrough' moment that has brought any clarity, let alone insight.

I have read Sam Harris's Waking Up, and have done some of the course in his app. The most I've been able to achieve is to observe (and subsequently limit, control) getting angry. This has proven pretty useful but doesn't feel profound.

Anyway, I'm now about half way through D. E. Harding's On Having No Head, and I am struggling with it.

I keep telling myself to stick with it because what he's saying might become clear, but I'm finding the reasoning behind it to be wilfully obtuse at times. I fear I'm exposing myself as some kind of idiot in even asking about it, but can someone help me see his point?

He talks about looking at what you're pointing at. Makes sense. I can see those things, therefore they're there.
And then to point at your face. You can't see that. Ok. Makes sense. I can't see that, therefore it's not there?
I can vaguely see a blur of my nose, but that isn't anything worth worrying about?

But I can demonstrate that it's there. I can photograph it. I can look at it in a mirror. I can touch it and feel it (and it can feel).

I feel like I'm the fool staring at a metaphor and screaming about it not being real but I can't see the bit I'm missing!

Does anyone have any insight they can share?

I am going to be graduating with a BA in Economics in May, and I am overwhelmed, like most people, with all the stuff that I am now responsible for. I was mostly wondering what advice you wish you heard when you were 22.

I have watched the first season, and started the second season. I have been told a few times, it gets better once they get more into the AI aspect behind "the machine". So far the episodes are pretty formulaic, so I am wondering if there is a specific episode or season where these little plot bits about this machine everyone is trying to find come to fruition and the series pivots to more of a sci-fi sub-plot.

Also, how come nobody calls him out for talking to himself all the time?
I do like the dog, good addition to the second season.

EDIT: I am now on season 2 episode 10, and yeah its starting to get a lot better. It seems to be a slow transition but they are getting my attention with all this hacker history talk.

Hi! I've recently graduated as a BA of Italian philology. But I am interested in pursuing my further studies and academical career in linguistics, studying language contact and linguistic strata in particular. I was wondering if anybody took a similar path and am interested in advice from such folks and also any other humanists here. I'm studying some online material and will try to partecipate in some local university's linguistics BA as a visiting student (I guess it's called a freemover in English) if I can find an affordable option. Also I have found out recommended reading material from local universities I'm interested in and some papers about my field. Do you know of any useful resources for making the transition smoother? What has been you experience if you've taken a similar path to your studies? Thanks in advance!

So, a little background, my profession is technical writing. I want to write a novel but I'm struggling a little with getting the creative side of my brain going. Technical writing seems to further inhibit my creativity with all its rules.

I'm looking into local writers' workshops but they're all full at the moment. In the meantime, I was wondering if anyone here has any advice for exercises or things I could do to stimulate my creativity and free my mind from all the rules of technical writing. Thoughts?

I have an amazon server that I use to host my email and my simple website. I'm considering setting a vpn up on it, but I'm not sure if it's worth it. Would my data be as secure as with 3rd party vpns? Would Amazon see my traffic? It seems like if I go this route, anything that I do could be traced back to me, because the see the ip of my server and than ask amazon who owns it.

Hi I am 23 year old and I want leave my country. I hold work visa for Canada. I am convinced that I should leave my country due to political changes happening in my country. What was it like for you? And especially how was it like when you emigrated to a country when you was adult?

My friend was rambling about making his own Stackoverflow/quora clone, but with some random specific features.

Note that this project would probably compete directly with Quora, but have multiple subcomminties like Stackoverflow/Reddit. We think taking programming FAQs from SO is too uphill of a battle to focus on.

What are some great ideas?

Not sure if this the right place to post this but here goes... I'm writing a story and I'm trying to figure out the best medium to tell it. I'm strongly leaning toward visual novels. I like anime and I want the story to have a similar look and feel. Maybe someday it will even become an anime. Who knows?

That said, does anyone here have any thoughts on the pros/cons of taking the visual novel approach as opposed to a traditional novel or light novel?

I hope this is the appropriate Tilde for this. If no one has any input it will still have helped me to type this out.

TL;DR In over my head with marriage, foster care, family, and work.

My wife and I became foster parents about 1.5 years ago with the intention to not adopt, but to care for children 3 and under while bio parents worked to regain custody or other permanent placements were arranged. Our first placement was two girls (7 mo and 2.5 yrs) despite wanting to do just one kid at a time (especially to start). We had them for 6 weeks and mom got them back. We had another placement (8 mo boy) for about another 6 weeks. There was a considerable lull and we were getting frustrated about not getting any new placements when the girls from our first placement were placed into custody again. So we were able to take them in again (now about 1.2 and 3.5 yrs). FF to now and we've had them for about 6 months.

We never really intended to have more than one child and for quite this long and we're struggling. My wife has always had a little less ability to weather stressful situations like this and these last 2-3 weeks I'm carrying a lot of weight. In the meantime, bio mom has gotten pregnant and there's not another hearing regarding custody for another 9 months. We fully expect that she will not be able to take them back at that time (or really realistically ever). What should probably happen would be that the county could place the kids into permanent custody (basically getting them adopted). However, from what we've heard from other foster families, temporary custody could drag on for years.

So, our main dilemma is this. We are not equipped (as a couple) to care for these kids for years. With the likely prospect of no change in custody in the near future, it feels like the best thing for these kids would be to get them into the care of someone looking to do this long-term, perhaps to eventually adopt. That being said, we absolutely love them and it feels like some kind of betrayal to force them to make yet another transition. On the other hand, with our limitations, it seems like that is inevitable anyway. Do we try to make that happen sooner?

Some other data points:
Our fostering license expires in October (about a month after the hearing is scheduled) and we don't intend to continue fostering (at least for a while, and definitely not with our current agency).
We don't have many family members close by to give us a hand with the kids, making us feel isolated and making it hard to get breaks from the kids. Our agency has not been very helpful with lining up respite care, but we're trying to be more aggressive about that now.
I've got things pretty well lined up to retire in about 5 years. My company is also just now kicking off a major project of a similar time frame and I'm in a good position to really make a mark before moving on. It will probably require some serious time commitments and effort to do it the way I want to.

Thanks for listening.

I've recently started taking some IT and programming classes at a local college because I've always been interested in IT as a career but I've never had any sort of professional experience in the field. Are there any skills that I need to definitely know, or any sort of certifications that I can get in order to get my foot in the door and start applying for IT focused jobs?

I have writing, prose and in verses, that I want to start submitting to magazines. I can't decide if I should use a pseudonym or not. My reasons for using one:

• I have problems with my name: it is ideologically loaded, people can tell my dad was a nationalist, which is an ideology I reject and oppose

• I feel like it would somehow good for me to distance myself a bit from my work, don't know why really

• I guess I am intimidated by potential failure a bit, so maybe "getting my feet wet" with a pseudonym could help me get over it.

But I also want to own my work, and feel like using a pseudonym with complete secrecy is a bit... cowardly, if I am totally honest. I consider using a pseudonym which I will publicly own later, but then, is there a point to it?

What do you think about it?

Thanks to all of you who gave me guidance in the thread about password managers. It got me thinking I should expand the question to overall best practices regarding security, just in case I have any other important blind spots.

What are the essential do's and don'ts of digital security for the average person?

Hello!

I’m a musician that’s looking into recording video of myself as I’m playing at my home and then uploading it to YouTube. I was wondering if there were any users out there that do something similar and what type of setup you have/would suggest if there are. I play acoustic, no electronic pickup.

I appreciate any suggestions and hope everyone has a great day!

Does anyone have any experience working as a contractor in the IT field? I have 4 years of experience in the IT industry, all of it as a full time direct hire. I may have an opportunity to work for a very large company on a 2 year contract at fairly reasonable salary increase. The most important part to me is that I will be getting some experience off of the service desk as well, which I can use to continue my career going forward.

My main concern is that I am unfamiliar with contract work. I do know that I get health benefits / 401k / sick days, but I assume there must be a drawback to being a contractor, right? I feel like being a contractor is inherently more unstable than being an actual hire. The position I am being considered for is a 2 year contract, but I worry that the position could simply disappear a few months in and I'd be out of a job. Is this a fair feeling, and is there any way I can gauge how true this might be for my position? Is there something I could discreetly ask in my interview that might help me understand if this is a stable position?

If anyone has any experience as a contractor, I'd love to hear it.

Hi guys,

I'm really stumped and looking for a nudge in the right direction for how to utilise the ghoneycutt/pam module in puppet. Relatively new to this but got what I'd like to think as most the basics down.

I've configured a few things using modules such as NTP, SSSD and NSSWITCH but I'm just stuck on how I can use this module and pull info from Hiera into it.

So, lets start with

.yaml file:

        ### nsswitch.conf authentication configuration

        nsswitch::passwd:     'files sss'

        nsswitch::shadow:     'files sss'

And then looking at the nsswitch.pp file:

        ### nsswitch.config setup

        class profile::linux::base::nsswitch {

        # Get heira values

          class { 'nsswitch':

            passwd    => [lookup('nsswitch::passwd')],

            shadow    => [lookup('nsswitch::shadow')],

Simple enough to call the values I want and works how I want, now I'm trying to do the same type of thing for PAM using the ghoneycutt/pam module and there doesn't seem to be much info on how to use it, or it's just not sinking in for me.

Some of my PAM Heira values:

        pam::pam_auth_lines:
          - '# Managed by Hiera key pam::pam_auth_lines'
          - 'auth        required      pam_env.so'
          - 'auth        sufficient    pam_fprintd.so'
          - 'auth        sufficient    pam_unix.so nullok try_first_pass'
          - 'auth        requisite     pam_succeed_if.so uid >= 500 quiet'
          - 'auth        sufficient    pam_sss.so use_first_pass'
          - 'auth        required      pam_deny.so'
        pam::pam_account_lines:
          - '# Managed by Hiera key pam::pam_account_lines'
          - 'account     required      pam_unix.so'
          - 'account     sufficient    pam_localuser.so'
          - 'account     sufficient    pam_succeed_if.so uid < 500 quiet'
          - 'account     [default=bad success=ok user_unknown=ignore] pam_sss.so'
          - 'account     required      pam_permit.so'
        pam::pam_password_lines:
          - '# Managed by Hiera key pam::pam_password_lines'
          - 'password    requisite     pam_cracklib.so try_first_pass retry=3 type='
          - 'password    sufficient    pam_unix.so sha512 shadow nullok try_first_pass use_authtok'
          - 'password    sufficient    pam_sss.so use_authtok'
          - 'password    required      pam_deny.so'

Some things I've tried:

1:

        class profile::linux::base::pam {
          # resources
          class { 'pam':
            password-auth-ac  => [
              lookup('pam::pam_auth_lines')],
              lookup('pam::pam_account_lines')],
              lookup('pam::pam_password_lines')],
              lookup('pam::pam_session_lines')],
           }

2:

	
	      passwd  => [
	
	      lookup('pam::pam_auth_lines'),
	
	      lookup('pam::pam_account_lines'),
	
	      lookup('pam::pam_password_lines'),
	
	      lookup('pam::pam_session_lines'),
	
	      ],
	
	  }

        include ::pam

	class profile::linux::base::pam {
	
	  # resources
	
	    include ::pam

	         lookup('pam::pam_auth_lines')
	
	}

I've tried a few other ways and can't get it to work as I want it to. Can anyone help?

Thanks

I've been programmer for past 4 years and signs of sedentary life, not being active and overconsuming certain stuff is showing... what do you do to stay healthy?
I plan on signup for a swimming pool, I started IF but I fail too many times.. Also i'm trying to cut sugar as much as possible but today was a really bad day in this regard...

my goal is not to get thiner. (i don't consider myself fat where it would be determinal to my health).
my problem is that I feel like my muscles are always tired (can't explain, like I could be strecthing them all day long and they would feel tired), my right side of body starts hurting everyday after 14:00 (+/- few hours, depends on what I am doing). I have regular lower back pains... :(

edit2:
wasn't on computer for the whole day after posting. thanks for all the responses.
My plan for the following weeks is:
-Waking at regular hours (6:30)
-Going to beed at regular hours (22:00 - 22:30)
-My morning routine will be:
some water, wimhof breathing, stretching, shower, coffee -> work.
I'll signup for a swimming pool and try to get my active hours in by going to swimming pool 3-5 times per week.
Regarding food:
Intermitting fasting between 12-20, no sugar, only tea,coffee,water.
Will be cooking my own meal every day / meal prep for the whole week.
all above should be simple to implement and not too hard to give up. On days when I will not feel energetic I'll take some modafinil in the morning.
Also I'll be abstaining from alchocol and any drug... also I'll try to smoke weed on weekends only in small quantites.
all the above shouldn't be hard to do because I allready do some of the things above...
I try to do wimhof breathing when I can, I cook 2-3 times per week. so the biggest ones will be:
giving up daily weed, signing up for swimming pool, going to sleep and waking up at regular hours.

I'm downsizing my digital life. I deleted my account on reddit, on another phpbb forum and i don't have instagram/facebook apps anymore.

This subject got me thinking about my music.

I grab/buy albums in mp3 and i have so many that it's impossible to listen to everything. I don't pay for any service like spotify because i don't like. I prefer to download and/or buy in places like bandcamp where i can download the album.

I started reading about other codecs like flac and opus. The availability of albums in flac are way less than mp3 and it's a lossless format. If i focus on it i will be forced to downsize my music library.

The problem is disk space in my smartphone. I'm not an audiophile so i'm not able to hear the difference between flac and 320kpbs mp3. This is where opus enters. This codec gives half the size with better quality than mp3. Soundcloud uses it. A 96kbps opus is the same quality as 320kbps mp3.

Now that Android can play opus i don't see a reason to keep using mp3. The downside is converting flac files every time i want to put on my phone.

I could just convert flac to opus and just live with opus everywhere, freeing a lot of space. But i think keeping flac files is better for archiving because it's lossless. If opus for some reason disappears, i'll have a lossy format and would have convert to another one losing more quality.

How do you deal with music?

I've recently accepted a new developer role for a small tech company where everyone works remotely. I've had experience of working from home as a freelancer in the past and slightly more recently working for a distributed company, although there I was working in a small shared office with one other colleague.

I wondered if anyone has any tips or advice on how best to remain productive as well as avoid distractions and try to keep a work/life balance?

I do intend to eventually find a co-working space but immediately I plan to work from home for at least the first few months.

Thanks!

I built a basic panel out of some boards left over from another project. I'd like to use this as a desktop surface just laid on top of some filing cabinets. I'm wondering what the best way to finish this would be? I don't think I want to paint and I'm ok with some light staining but I don't have any experience with sealing or whatever I would want to do to help preserve the surface. It would have typical office items on it (keyboard, mouse, monitor, paper, pens, etc.).

Hey! Lately I've decided that after years of wanting to do stuff on the internet, I'm gonna try my best to start streaming video games. I'm rather excited to start trying to form a lil community and I wanted to know if anyone here has tips/experience they would like to share. Any and all advice is welcomed and appreciated! I did a little test stream of Bioshock (using OBS) for some friends, but I'm currently using a wireless adapter so it didn't go very well for very long. I'm definitely picking up an ethernet cable before I try again. But in the meantime, I thought I'd ask for some wisdom.

My face is slightly asymmetrical, and one side of my lip points up, so it looks like I am smirking at people. At least, this is my theory as to why people feel uncomfortable around me without getting to know me first. But maybe it's something else entirely, or a combination. How can I make myself more approachable / likable? My work is in a field where I need to communicate with others often.

The idea of faking smiles and acting overly friendly pains me, but if it's the only way I'll do it.

I don't know what is the correct word in English, but I'll be one of those guys who will teach a "class" consisting on answering questions and guiding them through the exercises.

The content is very basic algorithms in C, so things like functions, pointers, and structs are off the scope. Here is the repo I made with the solutions for last semester. I'm starting in the second semester, so I have everything fresh in my memory.

I welcome anything you can give but I'm not necessarily seeking technical advice since the teachers have that covered. What I'd really like to know is what you consider to be some good examples, attitudes, and approaches for this particular position. Thanks.

Sometimes when I am thinking, these bad thoughts come into my mind, specifically images. I would rather elaborate not elaborate what the images are but they are all connected by a single object.

I have tried meditation, and while I feel at peace for a few hours after meditating, the thoughts haven't really left long-term or gone down in frequency. Maybe I am meditating wrong. I am blindsided every time the thoughts appear.

Anyone have any experience with this?

So I have all my passwords, TOTP backup codes, and account recovery codes in my password manager (Bitwarden.) In turn, Bitwarden is secured with a master password and TOTP 2FA. I have a recovery code for the 2FA in the event that I can't get to andOTP anymore (2FA app.) The thing is, where do I put that code? I can't put it in a note app or anything, because if I'm locked out of Bitwarden, I don't have my passwords. Do you see my problem? I was thinking about physically writing it down, but that makes me nervous because I might lose it. Are there any good solutions to this problem?

Just a few minutes ago I moved this topic from ~creative to ~music, but almost immediately began second guessing my decision. I'm not exactly sure where that belongs, because it's music, but it is creative/the OP's original song. What do you think? Is ~creative more for crafts, IE woodworking and the likes, or anything creative done by the OP? Similarly, I can think of more examples for this, such as if someone wants to show off their Raspberry Pi project, do they put it in ~comp or ~creative? Where does it belong?

I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard a manager complain, “The HR department included ‘must have college degree’ in the job req even though I don’t care” or “They asked for 5 years of experience in a technology that’s only been around for 3” or “I have no idea why they rejected this candidate without even contacting me.”

Still, in many cases you don’t have a choice. If you want to hire someone, you need to deal with HR, at least to a small degree – especially if you work in a big company.

So I’m writing a feature story for technology managers, collecting real-world advice from people who learned their lessons the hard way. Here’s the questions I’d like you to answer:

• Tell me about a frustration you had with the HR department (in regard to hiring). That is, tell me a personal story of HR-gone-wrong. Because we all love schadenfreude, and that gives me an emotional example with which to begin.
• Let’s say you have a new opening in your department. In what ways do you involve HR? (That could be anything from, “give them general guidelines and let them choose the best candidates for me to interview” to “I do the search myself, and use HR only for on-boarding.”) What makes you choose that path? How much choice do you have in the matter?
• What weaknesses have you discovered in your HR department’s ability to serve the needs of a tech-focused department?
• What have you done to cope with those weaknesses? Which of those efforts worked, and which failed?
• What do you wish you knew “n” years ago about dealing with your company’s HR department?
• So that I can give the reader some context: Let me know how to refer to you in the article (at least, “Esther, a software architect at a Midwest insurance company”), and give me some idea of your company size (because the processes appropriate for a 70-person company aren’t the same for one with 7,000 employees).

You don’t have to answer all those questions! I asked these to get the conversation going. Tell me as much or as little as you like.

Please don’t assume that I think HR always sucks. However, there isn’t as much to learn from “why HR is your friend.” The idea here is to help techie managers cope when HR doesn’t offer what you hoped for.

I'm stuck in a rut.

What do you do to get out? How do you rediscover something that inspires you? Or something that you can be passionate about?

I've got a handful of "projects" on the go at all times - writing some music, getting better at the sport I play, learn a new language for work, do some "proper" research. But they all sort of sit there looking tedious on my whiteboard. I'm just not passionate about any of them really (except maybe the sport, but I'm approaching 40 so it's not like I'm on the verge of setting the world on fire with it!).

What do you do to rediscover your inspiration? What has worked for you?

Hi there,

I'm considering purchasing a used Galaxy S7 and moving to LineageOS and would like to hear about similiar experiences. I currently own a iPhone 5S (only my second smartphone). I plan to continue using Ting as my provider.

I am attracted to LineageOS because it's open source and allows greater control than the standard Android-build I'd get from an ISP. I'm not afraid of installing ROMs or tinkering - I know I'll be doing a lot more of that by moving to an open-source OS.

I was looking at Galaxy S7 because it's well-known and has wide support/information available on forums, etc and of course because it's relatively cheap to get a used one ($200-ish).

I'm in the US and use Ting as my provider.

So some questions I have are:

• Should I expect to use the standard Google Play store? I'm still a little unclear on this after looking at the LineageOS website and wiki. The best I could find for an answer is this article talking about installing default google apps. I think my question is so basic it's not addressed on their site lol.
• Can I drag and drop MP3s from my computer to the phone? In other words, can I get my music on there without having to install something dreadful like iTunes or use Spotify/Amazon Music?
• The LineageOS project looks healthy to my untrained eye...any rumors that it'll vanish overnight?
• I found these instructions for a Galaxy S7 Anything else I should know or look out for?
• Any general thoughts/advice about moving from the Apple to the Google ecosystem? I'm entrenched in Google everywhere BUT my iPhone where I mostly use Google apps.
• What else should I look out for? See any gaps in my understanding?

I'll preface this by saying that I'm a high school student, so obviously I can't be facing any real stress, but it seems real enough to me, anyway. My strategy is usually just to bury it in entertainment, but I see a lot of the people around me turning to using substances like nicotine, weed, or alcohol.

I don't think any of these are really good options, so I'd like to hear what you guys do.

I'm currently researching the cheapest off site backup system and it looks like leaving a hdd at a friends house is the best option. The only thing I am stuck on is how to access it remotely. I need a system on a chip that I can plug in to the hdd and Ethernet and that provides ssh access. My first thought was a raspberry pi with a sata to usb cable but since I will only be doing weekly backups it makes no sense to keep the drive spinning 24/7. I need some way to turn off the drive and then back on over the internet. From what I understand there are linux programs that can do it but only directly over sata because the command doesn't work on usb sata controllers.

What I need is a cheap linux SoC that has sata and ethernet. Does anyone have any ideas?

If you have built from source, then you know the relief when nothing interesting comes out of ./configure && make && make install. In fact, the less interesting the output of these commands, the better.

But occasionally, the source build process is so horrifying that you end up having to modify the configure script or makefile yourself.

So far I have only been able to do this when I was lucky enough to find some poor, destitute stranger who had pretty much the same problem as me ( most recent I can think of is GNUTLS, where I had to adjust the version requirements for nettle ) and that is a problem -- there must be some way to learn this myself.

Is this just something that comes with time and experience, or does anyone have a reliable guide or resource for modifying makefiles and configure scripts? I would appreciate advice / discussion: I am tired of "getting lucky" with these!

Hey, I dunno if this is an appropriate place for this, and feel free to take it down if it's too direct/off-topic or what have you. I can't post this on reddit because my mom browses reddit and it would be painfully obvious.

So, as some of you may know, Backpage was a website like craigslist that got shut down completely due to complaints/reports of trafficking. In that shutdown, many people lost their jobs, my mother being one of them. My mom received a severance pay, and had to find work. Within that same timeframe, she also broke things off with a man whom she had been dating prior for reasons I still don't know. After having to sell her house, she tried to make it on her own, but then inevitably had to come and live with me and my Dad (Whom she had divorced about 10 years prior)). At some point a year or so ago, she had a nasty fall and hit her head, concussing her. Lately, she seems to be coming unhinged.

Her behavior started with her continually retroactively accusing my father of cheating on her ~15 years ago on several occasions based off of information she swears happened but cannot corroborate. She has, in recent memory, been known to make false claims and, when presented with proof refuting her claims, to discard said proof and continue to push her claims instead. She has tried to get me to "remember" incidents over 10 years ago where she ran across "women who were his type". On top of that, she has accused my father of going into businesses she has applied for and telling them not to hire her. My dad wants nothing more than for her to get back up on her feet and get going. I have no idea why she would believe this.

We had another incident where my little sister went downstairs to get something to eat, and used the microwave to prepare it. My mother interjected and told Ali that she shouldn't be using the microwave because she's afraid of the radiation it gives off. My little sister politely told her that that was bullshit and that she isn't worried. My mother then grew angry, told her something along the lines of "Fine, I'm not going to care if you die then", took her phone, and sent her upstairs (We all shave our rooms upstairs and she has her space downstairs, where the guest room is). This isn't the first time she's posited a completely ridiculous and baseless claim/conspiracy/concern, however I hadn't tried to refute it before.

I texted my Aunt and debriefed her, and she said that she was aware of my mother's mental health declining, and she wanted to help, but I guess she said something my mom didn't like, because my mom has since blocked her on her phone, severing the only means of communication between them (She's 2 states away). My mom seems to keep doing this to people; saying and believing untrue/ridiculous things and becoming increasingly angry and hateful when she is refuted or called out on it. She has severed ties with her Aunt, the sister of my deceased grandmother, who tried to tell her she was wrong after accusing my grandmother of various things she didn't do. She doesn't have any family left that she hasn't pissed off.

The only person left in my house who she isn't angry at is me, but I am supremely bad at handling these things and would much rather retreat into my room and not come out until it's all over. My girlfriend living with me is trying to provide support as well. This morning, my mother asked me to drop her off at a homeless shelter. She has a bed, food, clothes, a shower and restroom, and WiFi here, but she feels so much that my father is the root of all of her problems that she wants to leave at any cost.

I don't know what to do now that my mother is slowly and surely losing her goddamn mind and is driving out everyone who loves her when they don't reaffirm her insane delusions and accusations. It hurts to see my father struggling to do something, because he can't just kick out the mother of his children; he still loves the woman he married. We can't tell her she needs to seek help, because that is interpreted as an insult and calling her crazy. I've tried, again and again, to tell her that we are all here to help her and we want the best for her but she seems to discard every good thing I say and pick out the worst, even if I didn't intend any kind of negativity. She's getting to the point where she's beginning to lose her temper with me and I'm afraid that that will be the final nail in the coffin. My father tried calling some place (I believe they specialized in mentally unwell people) and asking for advice, but when he asked them to call my mother and they agreed, my mother got angry at them and accused them of "collecting evidence" for my father. It's out of their hands if she isn't harming herself or others.

I don't really know what I expect from posting this. Maybe commiseration, maybe sympathy, or advice, but I'm going fucking insane and do not have any prior experience to help me cope with/fix this and I would really appreciate if anybody does and they're willing to share

After a let of questioning, I am reasonably sure that I am a transgender girl. But what do I actually do? I'm 18, but I'm still in high-school living with my parents who won't be supportive of me if I come out. I have no consistent income and don't have a therapist. I guess there's no magical answer and I just need to wait until I'm independent and then start thinking about it.

Sorry for the title, I'm not sure how else to get the point across.

So this year has been pretty bad for games in my world. My all time favourite game of World of Warcraft released the worst expansion ever with Battle for Azeroth. Yes, it was somehow possible for them to make an even worse expansion than Warlords of Draenor!

Then I found a new game to spend my free-time on - Fortnite! It's been a lot of fun, I have put tons of hours into it and have basically not played anything else than Fortnite for most of 2018. However, the past couple of months has really seen it go downhill in my opinion. It's more popular than ever, yes, but the last couple of seasons has really changed it for the worse. It's never been very balanced on account of there being endless amounts of RNG, but I could live with it. But now they've gone and added airplanes, and as of today there's this sword you can pick up that utterly destroys everything in its path.

The developers of Fortnite keep changing core aspects of the game, which is exactly the reason WoW also went to shit. They changed basic mechanics, and now it's just... Not fun. The meta has been put entirely on its head, and both games are unrecognizable from what originally got me into them. It could be a bit about nostalgia in the case of WoW, but definitely not for Fortnite as that game is only barely a year old.

So now I don't know what to do! I wish the devs could just leave their games alone, because I'm a hundred percent sure they know what makes their games good. But I suppose money (and investors) talks and that's why they constantly change them to appeal to the masses in order to hit quarterly earnings and whatnot...

This is basically like a relationship. Over time, the person changes too much, and you feel like they aren't who you fell in love with - and you need to move on. But how do you move on? Because I, for one, just want to go back to the good old days.

I started playing D&D a few months ago at adventure league, and I've had a ton of fun. The problem, however, is that more of my friends want to come with me than there is room for at my AL table. The solution is obviously to host my own game, so I got the starter pack and DM guide on amazon(D&D stuff is heavily discounted right now!). We decided not to use the premades, and I've already helped most of them build their own characters.

Anyway, this will be my first time playing as the game master, and many of my friends first times playing D&D at all. Any advice to make it a smooth and fun experience?

What are some of the must-dos, must-installs, must-uninstalls, and must-alters of setting up a new PC? I'm getting my first new PC in 5 years on Sunday and the old one is really showing its age. I would like to avoid that as much as possible in order to keep the PC running smoothly as long as possible. I'd also like to optimize its performance and have useful software tools.

Thank you for any advice,
gbbb

I was looking for preferences on 120/140mm case fans. RGB is a want, but not at the expense of quality fans.

I'm pretty new to the topic and not super familiar with the technical side. So open to reading more in depth too.

Thanks!

Mostly the title. I have experience with Python, and I was thinking of learning more about data compression. How should I proceed? And what are some good books I could read, both about specifics and abstracts of data compression, data management, data in general.

I'm sitting here, not being able to sleep and watching every single John Mayer music video ever made, finding myself a little stuck.

I've got good friends, I've got a free environment to do whatever I want to do, and I've got enough stuff around me to keep me alive. Somehow, this isn't what I hoped for.

Ever since I was a kid, I always dreamed of this moment. I'm on my own. I've got my axe, and I'm ready for battle, but, I can't swing this thing, man. I don't have enough motivation, something I've been struggling with since I was born. I'm a chronic procrastinator, even when it's about something I actually want to. I want to sit down, write music, and make people smile. I want to do all these things, but I can't find enough willpower to do it. Maybe it's just my current emotional state holding me back. I miss the connection I used to have with someone that put me at my absolute peak in life.

It's so unbelievably unfair to me that someone that seemed to help me so much and bring me up can just walk out on me like that with no explanation. She made me a better person when she was around, and a worse person when she's not. I don't understand why I still think about it every single day. I guess this is more of a rant / self help post, but I do pose one question:

How do I get rid of the constant thought of someone? She's connected to everything I do in life and I really gotta fucking stop. Is there something I'm missing when it comes to getting over someone? Do I chase her? I've tried before, but it ended worse the second time around.

Anyone have similar experiences? I'm sure there are some sad wrecks out there tonight. Come and share your story about the best person you've ever met that you'll never meet again.

I bought one of those cheap miniature drones that are flimsy but overall pretty fun to start with. Now, I have the bug to get something with a camera, more flight time, and can withstand the wind. Any suggestions on what I could get <$150 that would be a good investment.

Any maintenance tips or flying in public tips?

I might soon be part of an internet startup. We're talking with a relative about setting up a consultancy & business news service on a certain sector, and I've generated a part of the idea and accepted to take on the technical/editorial side for a while (I've almost a year til when I start my master's, and will probably work up until when I start my thesis; so almost two years). If things work out, this might be a dream job (except academia) for me, and even very lucrative. But I'm fairly n00b in this space, both business and professional work, though I have the technical skills. Thus I'm seeking general advice on

• how to organise this thing: how to make sure we communicate well on dates and plans and how to make educated guesses when setting up an agenda

• how much will it cost: we'll start with making a database and running a sector-specific blog/news site as publicity (though I'll make sure the content is quite decent, not just a showpiece), but then later we'll introduce a tangential online service and a mobile app leveraging that crowd

• working with non-techies: I'll be the only techie in this startup and I need to help people with gathering, storing, organising and utilising historical data with certain variables, ensuring they keep an accurate record and can make quality queries easily; the 3 people apart from me will be non technical

I think quite a bit of you here have been involved in this sort of scenario, so maybe you could have some advice for me. I'd appreciate anything, examples of approaches, links to tools, what not, anything you think could be useful. Thanks a lot in advance!

This is a broad question, but I don't really want to narrow it down because I feel like we see unethical issues across so many industries. I want to be able to buy clothes knowing that I'm not supporting child/slave labor just as I want to be able to buy a videogame knowing that the people who created it had time to go home to their families each night. And if the clothes were made with child labor and the game did have a horrible development crunch? Well, those aren't places I want to put my money, even if I'm interested in the product.

Price and convenience used to be the kings of my spending habits, and I was solely interested in products on my own terms. I have no doubt that I have bought many items that have supported the suffering of others. Now, I am much more concerned with a product as it exists in context, and I'm willing to pay more for companies that do things "right." The problem is that this context isn't always available. Most companies are not exactly upfront with their shady practices, after all. How do I know if, say, the bluetooth speaker, quinoa, or dinnerware that I'm looking at was responsibly produced?

What are some ways can I make more informed decisions about what I choose to buy so that I can lessen harm (be it personal, environmental, or otherwise)?

How can I find out which companies support practices that are in line with my values? If anyone has any insight into particular industries, that would be especially valuable.