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    1. Would anyone be interested on a reading/reviewing exchange recurring thread?

      For anyone who is writing fiction, it can be difficult to find suitable readers who are willing to provide extensive notes on their work, especially when writing anything over 300 words. Generally...

      For anyone who is writing fiction, it can be difficult to find suitable readers who are willing to provide extensive notes on their work, especially when writing anything over 300 words. Generally speaking, the longer the story, the harder it is to get notes on it.

      One of the most successful subreddits for fiction criticism is /r/DestructiveReaders/. That sub has a series of rules and recommendations for its functioning, but, to summarize, you are only allowed to request feedback on a story if you have previously provided quality feedback to a story of equal or larger length than yours.

      Each critique you make gives one "credit" that you use to receive a critique on something of your own.

      It's a great idea and, by and large, it works.

      The issues of /r/DestructiveReaders/ are, essentially, the issues of Reddit as a whole, as a consequence of the existence of downvotes. Members can take the notion of "quality critique" to an extreme, going way above what the rules actually require. They may require something overly lengthy, or something that appeases a subjective criteria. Some may even downvote the "competition" so their own posts stand out.

      That can lead to some unfair, frustrating experiences the mods can do little to prevent.


      In this post, I am proposing that we create a series of recurring posts that function in many ways similarly to /r/DestructiveReaders/, but in a way that is more flexible and adapted to the needs and peculiarities of the Tildes community.

      The posts could be either monthly or created when the previous got too long.

      I would maintain the "credit" system, but I would use a notion of "effort" which takes everything into account, including the length of the review, but other criteria we can come up with as a group. We could possibly have a scheme in which the authors themselves would say how useful that review was. Sometimes, three paragraphs can be useful, and I would like us to have a way to ascertain this.

      I wouldn't have any powers to remove anything, so the whole thing would be in the honor system. Essentially, I would be merely suggesting behavior, and, if someone decides to simply not follow the rules, I won't even try to admonish or shame anyone.

      I would track credits and submissions on the body of the post itself. At least in the beginning, I could serve as the sole organizer, but anyone else who wishes to contribute will be welcome.

      And, oh: we could be open for non-fiction as well. That could mean biography, history, or even technical writing. But I'm not sure how to incorporate everything into that idea.

      What does everyone think?

      37 votes
    2. Vote for "Movie of the Week" in November - Academy Award Winners

      Edit: Voting closed My initial post didn't get a lot of answers, but I am taking a gamble that maybe it will gain some traction if I just start it. Every Monday I will post a topic for the movie...

      Edit: Voting closed

      My initial post didn't get a lot of answers, but I am taking a gamble that maybe it will gain some traction if I just start it.

      Every Monday I will post a topic for the movie of the week based on the voting results. We need 5 titles for each Monday - including October 30 this time around.

      Going for a voting system in the hope that people will have a little more motivation to participate than if it was just pure random. To keep it manageable I propose we vote for the next month in advance - also to keep the number of voting posts to a minimum.

      It will not be free for all, but will allow votes within a very broad category.

      For November it will be Academy Award Winners (in any category). Can be sound, costumes, best supporting actress, foreign language, best picture or any of them - excluding shorts and documentaries for now (we could do that as a theme later).

      Rules

      • Must be a winner of at least one Academy Award (Oscar) in any category
      • Feature film only (no shorts or documentaries)
      • Only one nomination per user
      • Please only nominate if you intent to participate

      Use this list as inspiration.

      Five most voted nominations will be done in random order on a Monday starting from the 30th of October.

      If this goes well, I will post a new voting post in the end of November.

      16 votes
    3. Solution for indirect lighting from top of bookcase

      Hey all. I have a room that's currently lit (during the night) by two light fixtures attached to the same wall and on the same switch. Each fixture has two LED lights with a 2700K or 2800K color...

      Hey all. I have a room that's currently lit (during the night) by two light fixtures attached to the same wall and on the same switch. Each fixture has two LED lights with a 2700K or 2800K color temperature (don't remember exactly), 230lm brightness, 3.9W power consumption, for presumably a theoretical total of 920lm and 15.6W. These bulbs are angled some 45 degrees forward aimed at the (white) ceiling in order to reflect diffuse light for the rest of the room.

      I'm going to add two tall bookcases to that wall which are going to cover where the lights currently are, so I need to figure out another solution for lighting. I don't want to damage the ceiling. Currently, my idea is to extend the wiring from the walls up behind the bookcases and place lights at the top of the bookcases, similarly angled forward so they reflect off the ceiling closer to the middle of the room.

      But I'm not finding appropriate fixtures, devices or anything else that I can place on a horizontal surface in order to angle a directed diffuse light forward. The closest I have right now would be something like these outdoor waterproof floodlights.

      They have a number of problems, though, chief of all the temperature being 3000K (that's the lowest available; you can get them a lot colder). For some reason, no one seems to be making 2700K/2800K versions of these. I'm afraid if I buy these, the light in this room will be noticeably different from the rest of the house. They are also very bright at 1000lm each (these are the darkest available; they make them even brighter) for a total 2000lm, more than twice the current brightness. I'm afraid if I sit in a room lit by these, it will affect the quality of my sleep.

      Does anyone have any ideas that might yield something closer to what I currently have, but which can be placed atop the bookcases and directed forward and up, as desired? It's also important that replacements don't require waiting for a 6 week cargo ship voyage from somewhere in China, that the power consumption isn't significantly higher, and that there won't be some huge monstrous device on the bookcase visible from the ground.

      9 votes
    4. For those who have tried YubiKey for personal use, is it worth it?

      I saw people talking about YubiKey here a few weeks ago so I got curious. Unfortunately, I’m not seeing a lot of helpful reviews for it. I’m personally getting tired of having to take my phone...

      I saw people talking about YubiKey here a few weeks ago so I got curious. Unfortunately, I’m not seeing a lot of helpful reviews for it.

      I’m personally getting tired of having to take my phone anytime I need 2FA for Okta but I don’t have a lot of super important accounts to secure so I’m going back and forth in deciding whether the 100+ euro investment (to get two so that there’s a duplicate) would be worth it.

      How do you use your YubiKey in your personal life and do you think it’s worth your use case ?

      35 votes
    5. Ahsoka doesn't really work

      I just finished this show, having waited for it all to come out before getting into it -- other Disney+ Star Wars series taught me the lesson that they are much better binged than watched week to...

      I just finished this show, having waited for it all to come out before getting into it -- other Disney+ Star Wars series taught me the lesson that they are much better binged than watched week to week and I was not wrong.

      Spoilers below

      The endless references to a children's animated show that I have less than zero interest in viewing really drags it down, which is why my main take away as per the title is that it doesn't really work. Most of the premise of the show is finding Thrawn and Ezra -- two characters you have no way of knowing about unless you watched that cartoon. Yet these two characters are constantly referenced and for some reason important, but you're never really sure why.

      It kind of works with Thrawn because there's a mysterious villain type of thing going on. But Ezra? Why do we miss him? Who is he? What did he do? Almost none of my questions are ever answered, even after we find him! Aside from simply being told by other characters that he is important, I am never told how or why. Nothing they say or do makes me care about him. They don't show me anything that makes me want to get emotionally invested in him. And no, I am not watching hundreds of hours of cartoons to understand the context. That is simply too much.

      This show is in a very strange place between obviously trying to cater to a large audience (it is a Disney property after all, so $$$), but it simultaneously can only be fully understood by extremely hardcore Star Wars fans. I consider myself a fan. I have watched all live action movies and shows, even the laughably bad stuff like the Boba Fett and Kenobi shows. That they intentionally mix together animated and live action storylines though -- especially with any context lacking -- is a major misstep.

      I like the Star Wars universe a lot. And while a lot of it is entertaining, it feels very bad to feel left out. It would be different if it was a small cameo or name drop once in a while. But the main storyline gets impacted by this, and it just kind of leaves a sour taste after finishing it.

      I was decently entertained and it had some very good moments, particularly the Baylan and Shin duo was intriguing -- which is ironic as I understand that they are among the only original characters in this show. Regurgitating old canon is not the way.

      7/10. Entertaining but unsatisfying.

      37 votes
    6. How do you get through a moment?

      I hear people saying to suicidal people that its easier to get through life if you just try to get through the next moment, but tbh for me its at a point where depending on my mood i can't get...

      I hear people saying to suicidal people that its easier to get through life if you just try to get through the next moment, but tbh for me its at a point where depending on my mood i can't get through one moment, and i have used drugs much more frequently and made 3 attempts in the past week as a result (though they were all when cptsd and psychosis was bad so i wasn't thinking at all rationally, and i didn't completely expect them to work).
      For me "getting through the moment" is just continuing to exist, or just trying to distract myself/take drugs.

      So does anyone know of any ways to keep going without drugs if things are really severe?

      12 votes
    7. Follow-up question: For those who made a significant change, how did it affect your relationships, whether romantic, social, familial?

      A few of you mentioned in comments to my previous question that changing your mind could or did affect relationships. To those who did go through such a significant perspective shift, please share...

      A few of you mentioned in comments to my previous question that changing your mind could or did affect relationships. To those who did go through such a significant perspective shift, please share your story!

      20 votes
    8. What else is going on?

      With all the noise being generated by everything that's happening in Israel & Palestine, I'm starting to feel like governments and large corporations are going to take advantage of this to push...

      With all the noise being generated by everything that's happening in Israel & Palestine, I'm starting to feel like governments and large corporations are going to take advantage of this to push something under the radar that would normally be objected to.

      For the sake of staying informed - is there anything going on that seems like it's not being given adequate attention? What's going on in Gaza is horrible and I have no capacity to affect change in that situation, all I can do is focus on things that I have some degree of influence over.

      43 votes
    9. Timasomo 2023: Week 3 Updates

      Upcoming Dates: Week 4 (Final) Update Thread -- Sunday, October 29 Timasomo Showcase Thread -- Sunday, November 5 November 1-4 are for putting finishing touches on the project to ready it for the...

      Upcoming Dates:

      Week 4 (Final) Update Thread -- Sunday, October 29
      Timasomo Showcase Thread -- Sunday, November 5

      November 1-4 are for putting finishing touches on the project to ready it for the showcase. We are quickly closing in on the end!


      Update us on your progress so far!

      • What did/didn't you get done this week?

      • Anything go according to plan?

      • Anything go off the rails?

      • Any successes or struggles to share?

      • Do you need feedback or help on anything?

      This is your topic to share anything and everything you want about what you’ve made so far.

      20 votes
    10. Beam of light in the sky

      I wrote this story yesterday. I translated to English with the help of Google Translate and added my own revisions and fixes. Beam of light in the sky Last night I saw a beam of purple light in...

      I wrote this story yesterday. I translated to English with the help of Google Translate and added my own revisions and fixes.

      Beam of light in the sky

      Last night I saw a beam of purple light in the sky. It was a giant, vibrant thing, like something done with a brush. There was no one with me at the time, but if it had been, they might not have even seen them. It was like that space between two blinks of the eye. Like film photography. Nothing in this world flies like that, and it wasn't like it flew either, it was more like a stone thrown from afar, falling in the distance in a perfect parabola. It fell without a sound, and the earth trembled beneath my feet. When dawn came I went to the beach where I saw the beam of light fall. The tide was coming in but had not yet erased the large circle of burnt sand. I turned on the television waiting for the news, and also looked on the internet. Anything.

      The days passed, and, as the memory mixed with other things that were happening, it became more and more distant.

      Perhaps there are many inexplicable facts out there about which sensible people think it best to remain silent. My grandfather painted crosses on the doors of his house to ward off werewolves. In the past, some people had statues in their living rooms to ward off hauntings.

      We pretend we live in this world here, but the beyond is always out there pressing on the walls of reason. The word is a lamp — it clarifies what is in reach while it reveals and accentuates the darkness that cannot be reached.

      Only rarely does what we see on the vigil have the truth of a dream or nightmare. The remaining events are like shallow pencil lines, or they do not penetrate the brain.

      I still remember the beam of light in the sky. Even if it haunted me, I could never forget it. It was a little secret that made me special. Taking the subway, buying bread, or walking around the neighborhood, I was more than a man. I was a man with a mystery.

      ***

      There was a tall, thin guy in the middle of the carriage. He had a backpack over his shoulder, arms splayed at the waist. Only us both on the train. During the thirty-minute journey, He maintained balance without using his hands. When I looked at his feet, I noticed that they were floating half an inch off the ground. I felt watched and looked up. He smiled at me. His eyes were milky white, without divisions. A white ball looking towards me.

      ***

      Team meeting at work. Someone commented about the party the previous weekend. Of course, I wasn't invited, and if I was invited, I wouldn't go. There's something very artificial about the way normal people move. Hundreds of muscles to say "Good morning", pull up a chair, display agreeableness, and perform belonging. All the time performing what they already are, lying so that others believe what they already know to be true. It's not enough to be good, you also need to dramatize your own goodness. And they are, in fact, good.

      Because they're good, they invite me to the party next week (I'm not going), because they're good, they ask my opinion on all important topics (I don't care), and, because they're good, they'll never say there's no place in that group for a nasty, ugly, stupid guy like me.

      I remain in the transition space.

      But none of that matters. I am special, and I have an unbreakable, inherent, ontological value. Something that none of them had ever dared to know or conceive.

      ***

      The more books I buy, the less books I read. I cook some rice without anything, open a can of beans someone talks to me on television (fortunately I don't need to respond). I don't own a mirror. The goal is not pleasure, but rather to distract myself from any deep, real, or revelatory thoughts. I don't want to find out anything about myself -- I already know I'm a piece of shit, and that's enough for me. Sometimes I masturbate and I always regret it. I sleep quickly, so terrifying thoughts can't reach me. I always have nightmares, and then completely forget about them. If I don't remember, did it happen? Past me deserved it, present wants nothing more than for him to go fuck himself.

      ***

      I have a recurring nightmare. Like a sheet of paper, my body folds. And folds. And folds. Infinite times. Until I exist in the space of a millimeter, which, in turn, folds as well. Now I am an atom and continue to shrink. I am a quark, a Higgs boson, a proton, a neutron, an electron, a neutrino, and finally, a massless particle. Nothing. However, my incorporeal consciousness, against the laws of physics, still exists, and slowly slips into a black abyss, reflecting, in recursive despair, on the sadness of its own end.

      ***

      I had to change the gallon of water in the office. That's not my job, but someone asked me once and I thought it would be better to keep doing it than talk to a human being. I don't drink water. If I can hydrate at the same time as I kill myself, why make two trips? There's a minibar full of Coca-Cola under my desk.

      ***

      The secretary drank three liters of water without breathing. When she noticed me, she looked back, moved her face robotically toward me, and smiled at me with white eyes.

      ***

      I didn't expect my psychologist to believe that I saw the beam of light in the sky. If the poet creates worlds, science destroys them. The delusional paranoid, the prophet of the non-existent, the depressive, and his pain, all need to be medicated, tamed, and boxed. The cure for insanity also kills terrifying, exciting, and poignant delusions, bleeding into reality with its pulsating, quixotic beauty.

      But what if I was right? What if what I saw also passed through my corneas? How many patients are just healthy people reacting appropriately to the inscrutable? And if logic says they exist, why not me?

      ***

      When I left the house a man ran up to me, held my arm tightly, and whispered in my ear with a breath of vodka: "Don't drink the water".

      He had a glassy stare, focused on a point in the distance, or maybe some hallucination that was very present to him. He spent a second like that, to emphasize the point, looking in my direction but clearly not seeing me. And he drove away between the cars, his soot skin melting into the asphalt.

      ***

      I tried to buy a soda, but the vending machines, kiosks, and snack bars were selling water. Exclusively. The subway station was crowded and silent — these adjectives never go together in this city. No one elbowed, cursed, or complained to get on the train. The groups followed as a block, with constant speed, as if governed by the same principle and identical motivation. There was beauty in their movements, which resembled more the constant flow of homogeneous fluid than the inherently human chaotic traffic.

      ***

      I didn't change the gallon of water that day. I opened my Coca-Cola and watched. Nobody called me to the team meeting. When I approached, they closed the shutters. I stuck my ear to the door. Total silence. I knocked on the door. After a long wait, someone opened it enough to poke their face out. -

      "Yes?"
      "I still work here."

      I defiantly took a sip of my Coke.

      "Ah... yes... you don't drink water, do you?"
      "No."
      "Oh."

      He seemed to be relaying a distant signal. Cleared his throat.

      "Maybe you should do that."

      ***

      I texted my psychologist. He told me that in these situations it is important to drink lots of water.

      ***

      The transition was slow and orderly. The city was taken over by a horde of calm people, and even in the subway, there was an unearthly silence. Apparently, they kept going to their jobs every day, repeating a simplified and useless version of their host's everyday movements like lobotomized automatons incapable of strong emotion. I can't say who was the theater for. Perhaps there was, in their consciousness, a remnant of what they once were, which they needed to attend to in some way to maintain them in that state.

      On TV, on all channels, non-stop advertisements. "Water is life", "Drink water, join us!", "In this heat, nothing better than a can of water!". Every now and then someone would run outside, looking around like in a horror movie. It's been a while since I've seen anyone.

      ***

      The calm of the Others is unnerving. When I go out on the street they don't chase me, approach me, or show any hostility. They're just there, and because they're there, they make me want to kill them.

      The sea wave is not hurt by my punches.

      There are always a dozen of them planted at the entrance to my building. They never react. But sometimes they talk.
      "You look thirsty"
      "Today is a beautiful day to drink water."
      "Did you know that the human body is sixty percent water?"

      A six-year-old boy turns to me. He wears pants and suspenders, like a child of the 1940s.

      "Why don't you love us?"

      Even though he's just a puppet, it's hard to ignore the kid's endearing appearance.

      They want to convince through emotions, and maybe one day they will.

      "Ask that to the boy who lived inside you."

      "We are Peter, and Peter is us. Don't you understand? Before he was fragile, now he is eternal..."

      I didn't wait for the end. They were making too much sense. I smashed his head with a paving stone.

      A fat, hairy man without a shirt continued without wasting any time, in the same ethereal monotone. He didn't bother to disguise his milky, inhuman eyes.

      "You are one, and you wish to always be one. For you, it is not possible to be without subtracting, and the existence of the Other in you is the dissolution of everything you value most. If there is a face in God, it looks at you. There is nothing that we are not, and everything in the cosmos pulses with us."

      ***

      It's just a matter of time, and they have more than me.

      Sitting at the kitchen table with my last three cans of Coca-Cola, there was no alternative. The glass of water in front of me.

      I drank the water.

      I remembered when I cried in a movie theater, and the sensation of not being touched.

      My fears, memories, traumas, weaknesses, and talents.

      The edges of desire and a love that is lacking.

      A scream without an answer, a cry without comfort.

      A crazy, immense, unruly passion.

      My identity, my gender, my name. The edges of my body.

      Dissolving gently...

      Sweetly welcomed into everything.

      How sad to be no longer, because I long for my pain.

      I am meaningful. I am meaning.

      No more hunger without food, no desire without fulfillment.

      My pain consoles others as the pain of others consoles me.

      There is nothing in me, I am nothing, everything in me registers and erases.

      Lost in translation, I die.

      Pretext of conscience.

      Massless particle.

      Nothing.

      I am no longer one.

      There is nothing that we are not, and everything in the cosmos pulses with us.

      11 votes
    11. Anyone have recommendations for a CD player I can charge via USB and play via BT (or USB) in my car?

      A recent post here made me realize how much I really wish I just could pop in a CD while driving (you can skip those, and I can make mix CDs, so no need for cassettes haha). I commute a decent...

      A recent post here made me realize how much I really wish I just could pop in a CD while driving (you can skip those, and I can make mix CDs, so no need for cassettes haha). I commute a decent amount and I'm using a Pixel with GrapheneOS. Adding a streaming service would just be one more piece of Google I'd have to add to my "work" profile. I'm listening to some great podcasts, but I'd rather go full nostalgia without ripping all my CDs.

      That being said, I'd like any recommendations. USB would be nice for the constant power option, but blutooth is doable as well. TIA!

      9 votes
    12. What's the big deal about running a half marathon?

      I have a problem. My wife is currently training for a half-marathon and getting really into it. She's getting anxiety about being able to finish her training runs, she's telling me how much this...

      I have a problem. My wife is currently training for a half-marathon and getting really into it. She's getting anxiety about being able to finish her training runs, she's telling me how much this is going to mean to her, and comparing the race with her giving birth to our children.

      My problem is that I just don't "get it".

      As a good partner, I'm really trying to support her. I have never said anything negative about her running, I've always watched the kids when she needs to train, and I'll absolutely be there during the run to cheer her on. But deep down it just doesn't feel like a 'big deal' to me.

      I'm glad that she's healthy and exercising regularly, and that she's getting some mental relief from being a stay-at-home-Mom. But just running a long way is just that. I liken it to saying everyday after dinner, I'm going to go stack some rocks in the front yard. And then one day saying "Wow, I'm going to stack them 10 feet high!". And really expecting her to get excited for me because of that.

      Running feels like a personal accomplishment, and because of that, I'm sure she's excited personally, but I'm just not that impressed. I've always hid that part, and just said things like "way to go babe!" or "I knew you could do it", but she could tell this morning that I wasn't truly excited about it.

      To compound things, her sister and brother-in-law are avid runners, and they've both done marathons. She is just in awe of them, and they all hype this up to each other. On his last run (a 30 mile trail run) he was faltering, but made it through. Everyone is just so impressed with his accomplishment. I mean its cool that he's good at his hobby, but also that kind of shit cannot be good for your body, and he had like a 3 day recovery period where his wife is watching the kids almost exclusively.

      Why is he doing that to himself, and even more importantly, why is everyone around us so excited that he did? I feel like they're getting excited that someone went to the gym and worked out, but just in an extreme manner.

      What is wrong with me? Please help me understand why I'm not excited that my wife is running a long distance.

      21 votes
    13. Anyone else have horrible user experiences with Piped?

      With the Youtube adblock debacle going on, and my account on Firefox+Ublock getting the dreaded popup, I was trying out the Piped alternative frontends for Youtube. If you're unaware, this is...

      With the Youtube adblock debacle going on, and my account on Firefox+Ublock getting the dreaded popup, I was trying out the Piped alternative frontends for Youtube. If you're unaware, this is basically lets you browse Youtube without using the actual Youtube site or your Google account, and there's no ads. Whenever this adblock issue comes up, everyone starts pushing other frontends like Piped as the solution. There's also a dedicated bot that automatically replies with the Piped link when anyone posts a Youtube link on Lemmy. People seem to think very highly of this site! The simping for it can be very strong.

      I tried using the main instance, https://piped.video, but it was laggy! Completely, unusably slow. I've also had it crash whenever I try to watch certain videos. I heard there were other instances that would have less users and less pressure on the servers, so I tried out the other public instances. One of them worked great for a couple days, now it just stopped loading videos all of a sudden. All the other instances I've tried either don't load videos, or the domain is down.

      Are they cracking down on Piped now, or are all these instances just not good and you need to self-host to get anything out of Piped? Are there any other alternative frontends that you've liked?

      20 votes
    14. Is it wise to relapse into an episode before you get treatment?

      I've been writing and rewriting this to make it more formal, but I've decided to screw it because the original was raw and can probably describe my needs better than my rewrites could ever. So...

      I've been writing and rewriting this to make it more formal, but I've decided to screw it because the original was raw and can probably describe my needs better than my rewrites could ever. So apologies if it doesn't fit the tone of Tildes

      As of right now, I am currently not seeing anyone for my mental health. However, I'm in the process of getting help. I already have a consultation form for one and all I have to is figure out if I'm saying too much because one part ended up being like 16 paragraphs long and I don't think mental health professionals like that...

      Anyways, I've been having trouble getting myself to clean. There's a gap between my bed and the wall that I put in case I ever got bedbugs (never got bedbugs in my life) and what ended up happening is various items of clothing would fall into that gap without me knowing. Which led to a whole bunch of carpet beetles suddenly flying in my room a month and a half ago.

      Here's my concern: I did have a period where I found fleas in my room, and after seeing them a few times I went on a cleaning spree. Eventually my dad had to stop me because I was deep cleaning the house every single day, and when I wasn't doing that I was researching about pest control. When I wasn't able to clean I ended up researching too deeply on pest control, which led me to find out about scabies. Which led me to a delusion that I had scabies, then went straight back to my cleaning frenzy again, this time with this newfound fear that I'm infesting my family with scabies if I don't babywipe or vacuum everything.

      Then one day, I started getting psychosomatic hallucinations that matched the symptoms of scabies. At night, I wouldn't be able to sleep because I would feel hundreds of bugs crawling inside my skin every time it got dark, forcing me to sleep with 3 lamps around me to mitigate the sensation. Every time I got out of a hot shower I could feel it too, but not as strongly as at night. And then when I sought out a dermatologist, because there was no way I didn't have scabies if I was going through all these symptoms, it just suddenly... stopped? Which was my biggest indicator that it wasn't scabies, because it would have never stopped if it was scabies.

      It was a... bizarre experience for sure, but an impactful one. Especially now that it's been about a year since it all went down, and I've been having trouble sleeping because my room gets so stuffy. I keep my window open at all times, even when I'm too cold to sleep, just because the air is so musky and makes me feel like I'm on the edge of throwing up. I don't feel hunger in my room, and all I can think of is how there's carpet beetles in those gaps and how I will have to clean them when I get better. Because I don't want to repeat what happened last year. I don't want to clean and have these stupid carpet beetles or whatever else I find in that gap briefly take over my life like those fleas and imaginary scabies did. For the past few years I've been swinging between moments of depressive symptoms, grandiosity, and paranoia one after another and a few months ago is the first time in five years since I stopped having these back-to-back moments and I just... can't have another one again. Not until I get help.

      But it has come to my attention that help might take a long time. If I need therapy, that might take months, if not years, and there's a good chance if I need medication I won't find the perfect one right away. So either I have to wait until months or years of my room rotting more and more or I clean it now. To clean knowing full well that I might relapse into another stupid paranoid episode because it was a trigger before and can be a trigger now.

      I don't know. I don't know what to do. I want to clean but I don't want to trigger what I went through in the past again. I don't want to trigger anything. Any causes to my episodes I keep it in my head and make it a rule to avoid at all cost, but how do I avoid cleaning when it's impacting my physical health not to clean? I know I should get help, get treatment, but I shouldn't do anything funny while I wait for the perfect solution right? When I have the right treatment and coping mechanisms I can tackle my triggers, so best not to clean? If that's a trigger? I hate this. I just want guidance

      22 votes
    15. Mass Effect: How do you feel about where it started vs where it went?

      Let me start by saying I really enjoyed playing the Mass Effect games. They are awesome. I found the plot, though, incoherent. Especially in ME3. I don't mind small conveniences like "good thing...

      Let me start by saying I really enjoyed playing the Mass Effect games. They are awesome.

      I found the plot, though, incoherent. Especially in ME3. I don't mind small conveniences like "good thing this random teleporter beam designed to suck up corpses has easy entrée to the reaper's command center," because it's a game.

      But how on earth did Cerberus amass seemingly billions of elite special operations forces with nobody noticing? What do you mean the secret weapon against the reapers has been improved each cycle by people who didn't know what it was supposed to do? How could that possibly result in a functional device?

      It's clear, I think, that this wasn't necessarily the direction the first game was going. Cerberus was the subject of a side quest, but nothing more. The authors of the lore seemed to be taking great pains to ensure everything was logical, based on the in-universe rules they had established.

      ...and then ME2 kicks off and the series is almost as much about Cerberus, from this point on, as it is about the reapers.

      What did you think about how the plot unrolled?

      (You may also wish to read this series of essays. It's about 18 billion words long, though - fair warning. https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=27792)

      33 votes
    16. Should I switch to Apple Music or stick with Spotify?

      Spotify recently increased their price, making it the same price as Apple's service. I've had Spotify since 2016 (started with the free version), and got premium in 2018 when they had the college...

      Spotify recently increased their price, making it the same price as Apple's service. I've had Spotify since 2016 (started with the free version), and got premium in 2018 when they had the college student deal where you would get that and Hulu for only five bucks a month. I've been an off and on Premium subscriber since 2019. Only re-subscribing to it when Spotify would send me offers to sign up for three months for the price of one. This is actually the first year that I've consistently had Spotify all year since I was in college.

      But now that they're the same price I was wondering if I should switch over. I don't want to get into the whole quality thing and lossless (I don't even know what that is) but I haven't been happy with Spotify's algorithm for a while. Streaming services have always been how I discovered new music, going back to me using Pandora while I was in high school. But now Spotify keeps suggesting the same songs whenever it's on smart shuffle. For example, if I play a song from the late 60s or early 70s, I know the next song Spotify plays is going to be Ain't No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell. Whenever I play an indie pop song, like a Lana Del Rey song or something, I know that the next song is going to be Borderline by Tame Impala.

      I'm kind of sick of it at this point, and I feel like it's limiting the scope of what I'm listening to. I'm not sure what Apple Music's algorithm is like, I've heard mixed things with some saying it's better than Spotify and others saying it's worse.

      I'm also happy taking recommendations on other things to do or try with Spotify to correct this.

      27 votes
    17. Sports fans of Tildes: Anyone following Major League Soccer?

      I became a fan of Premier League Soccer after an epic battle with YOShInOn, my smart RSS reader. (I tried to convince it I liked American football and not the other kind of football but in the...

      I became a fan of Premier League Soccer after an epic battle with YOShInOn, my smart RSS reader. (I tried to convince it I liked American football and not the other kind of football but in the process of trying to understand why it couldn't learn the difference I changed my mind.)

      There's a free Premier League game on NBC OTA TV around 12:30 PM EST and once I got hooked a Peacock subscription seemed like a good idea so I can catch games (somewhat) early on Saturday and Sunday. The university I work at has men's and women's soccer games that I go to (it was fun to go to one where youth players showed up and I felt like we were part of a huge soccer universe) and sooner or later I am going to check out the games of the college on the other hill.

      I know there's Major League Soccer here in the US and I understand it's gotten better than it used to be, and I understand you can get an add-on subscription to Apple TV which has all the games. Is there anyone out there who follows MLS?

      I try to post a few articles a week about the Premier League and European Soccer and I think it would be great if somebody did the same for MLS, as something interesting has to happen every gameday.

      14 votes
    18. Timasomo 2023: Week 2 Updates

      Update us on your progress so far! What did/didn't you get done this week? Anything go according to plan? Anything go off the rails? Any successes or struggles to share? Do you need feedback or...

      Update us on your progress so far!

      • What did/didn't you get done this week?

      • Anything go according to plan?

      • Anything go off the rails?

      • Any successes or struggles to share?

      • Do you need feedback or help on anything?

      This is your topic to share anything and everything you want about what you’ve made so far.

      17 votes
    19. I guess this whole time I was a small minority - enjoying working in person

      I’m a software engineer. Any time this topic comes up it’s clear I’m the odd one out. Recruiters will tell me “don’t worry, we’re fully remote!” but that’s not what I want to hear. Co-workers that...

      I’m a software engineer. Any time this topic comes up it’s clear I’m the odd one out. Recruiters will tell me “don’t worry, we’re fully remote!” but that’s not what I want to hear. Co-workers that are mandated to return to office go on a quiet rebellion to stay at home (and to be clear, I love that they are displaying the power that laborers have even without a union). But for me the quality of the work is lower when remote. Video calls suck and are emotionally draining. Collaboration is core to doing work for me. Sure I can close tickets just fine from home. But what if I’m there to wrap my head around the entire system and all of the people involved in it?

      A few things I’m aware of that influence my opinion here:

      • I don’t have kids
      • I am comfortable asserting my free time. I take plenty of time off and typically work six hour days, never with any push back from anyone. I can usually get much more done in six hours than is asked of me
      • Programming is my dream job

      Thankfully I am still able to find fully in-person opportunities around me. So this is really just a matter of understanding the rest of the labor market. I don’t need to or want to change anyone’s mind here.

      46 votes
    20. Do you think dreams have meaning?

      Asking because I have been having such vivid dreams lately and sometimes they touch me so much to the point that half a day, sometimes even the entire day, will be negatively affected - although...

      Asking because I have been having such vivid dreams lately and sometimes they touch me so much to the point that half a day, sometimes even the entire day, will be negatively affected - although that might also be my poor mental health (decided against posting this in ~health.mental as I wasn't sure it had that much to do with it).

      I definitely have more bad dreams when I'm in a bad place or going through things, like if I feel lonely I will dream about relationships. If I've been really into something, like a game or watching a lot of the same genre of tv or film, I will dream about things towards that genre. If I'm having interpersonal issues, I will dream about those and even have conflicts and fights in my dreams very much related to that person - I have so many nightmares about my father for example.

      I'm not into astrology, tarot cards, witchy stuff, etc., beyond it being just for fun. And I feel like dreams are more along those lines although I don't know. I just know they can really affect me.

      What's your take?

      24 votes
    21. What hat would go well with this jacket?

      What is a good hat that would go with this jacket? It's a great jacket, but there's no hood. So, while the rest of my upper body stays dry, my hair gets wet. For that reason, I'm looking for...

      What is a good hat that would go with this jacket? It's a great jacket, but there's no hood. So, while the rest of my upper body stays dry, my hair gets wet. For that reason, I'm looking for something water resistant. My budget is under 100 USD.

      11 votes
    22. Do you all ever wonder about this "five star" or "best" mindset?

      (Still trying to figure out what to post on this site; sorry if this is a bit abstract.) I'm not sure what to call this culture, but it's the culture that dictates everything must be 4-5 stars or...

      (Still trying to figure out what to post on this site; sorry if this is a bit abstract.)

      I'm not sure what to call this culture, but it's the culture that dictates everything must be 4-5 stars or its nothing. There is a "best" dropship identical item on Amazon. There is a "best" hole in the wall restaurant. There is a "best" takeout place near you. There is a "best" way to do things.

      It's not about "laying flat." Laying flat, as far as I understand it, is purely about not caring about the "best" professional life. What I think about is about how algorithms of "best" dictate what we watch, do, and consume, yet they are tied to false perceptions of what "best" can bring us and sometimes plainly false reviews. For example, you can have the "best" meal, but your actual best meal is the ramen place you went to when it was raining and the original restaurant you tried to go to was packed. It's completely unplanned and not thoroughly algorithm'd (though not calculation-free); it is the organic best that found us. Something about the sense of discovery can really just blow you away and surprise you.

      I remember reading an article years ago about the joy and randomness of someone curating a collection of CDs, the way you could thumb through and look at the covers, and the whole "discovery" of it.

      45 votes
    23. Recommended tablet/2in1 for ~$1200?

      My company has given me a budget of around ~$1200 to purchase a device. Its technically for "education" so my excuse is that I'll be doing online certifications with it, but the reality is that...

      My company has given me a budget of around ~$1200 to purchase a device. Its technically for "education" so my excuse is that I'll be doing online certifications with it, but the reality is that its going to be primarily a toy to play with, watch movies, play some light games, etc.

      Does anyone have any recommendations? I know the ipad pro is the big dog in town but I've never been much of an apple fan and don't have any skin in their ecosystem, I'm mostly an android guy but I'm not married to the idea of an android tablet.

      Here were some of the ones I've looked at so far:

      Surface pro 9

      Dell XPS 13 2in1

      Lenovo Yoga 9i

      Samsung Galaxy Tab S9+

      They all seem like decent options honestly, but I was wondering if anyone had first hand experience with them and could give some thoughts.

      13 votes
    24. Gardeners of the northern hemisphere, how did it go this year?

      The growing season here in southeastern Australia is just kicking off, so I'd love to hear (and see!) your successes and failures, what you will repeat and what you want to change, what your...

      The growing season here in southeastern Australia is just kicking off, so I'd love to hear (and see!) your successes and failures, what you will repeat and what you want to change, what your future plans are, etc.

      43 votes
    25. I finished Phantom Liberty and have thoughts

      I remembered that thread asking about the update to Cyberpunk 2077, and figured after finishing the expansion I'd offer what I've got. I played the game once on release prior to playing now. The...

      I remembered that thread asking about the update to Cyberpunk 2077, and figured after finishing the expansion I'd offer what I've got. I played the game once on release prior to playing now.

      The tl;dr - its a hell of a lot better, can totally recommend it, expansion was cool and fun

      The long:

      First, regarding the update. It's excellent. The game does feel significantly better to play, because a whole lot less is bugging the hell out. You do occasionally come across some silliness, like four of the same car all at an intersection, or the same child populating a cafeteria. But these moments are far, far less frequent, I think I can count on one hand after 50 hours, the number of times stuff like that happened.

      Wanted system is functional now. It just works the way you'd expect, and it is pretty easy to escape. More lawless parts of town are appropriately easier to get away with shit in. Driving feels better but still feels weird to me, like everything is slippery/wheels never have good traction.

      The skills/perks/inventory stuff is a thousand times better. It has a few weird things here and there but is easier to follow and use. It's nice not having to really mess around with clothes and just look however I want. Combat is a lot more fun now that stuff behaves appropriately. That's really the theme of it, they did fix what needed fixing, and what we're left with much more closely aligns with folks' original expectations.

      Quests wrap up and sometimes into one another in ways which are genuinely very impressive, and I encountered all of one that had an issue with it. I pretty much constantly went from quest to quest and found there was enough variety that I didn't really care about wandering much. I still did, and that is all much improved too. Npcs behave a lot better and look nicer, and jobs consistently finish up the way they're supposed to.

      I specialized in blades, pistols, and shotguns, and played on Normal, mostly on my steam deck. I mostly raised Reflexes, Technical Ability, and Cool. I got to turn into a Dragonball ninja assassin, occasionally dualing Japanese cyborg women with katanas in the street. I'd get into shit because melee is genuinely pretty fun to mess with.

      The visuals are awesome even on the handheld, the preset for the deck is higher than I expected. Performance was consistently good, on the deck as well as my PC. PC can go maximum and is using a 144hz display, it looks really really good with everything pushed.

      The expansion:

      It fits squarely within the best of what the game offers. The storyline is complex and goes into the rest of the world in an impressive way, it's like it's always been there. The characters are exceptionally well done, as is the voice acting. The whole thing felt like a great season of a good show, it kinda proceeds like that too.

      Dogtown is a really cool area. The detail is wild and sense of place really some of the strongest in the game. I felt uneasy at night in the rain, that's always cool for a game to evoke. It feels both like it's own independent spot and like a part of the city, they really nailed it with how it looks and what's available there.

      Conclusion:

      The complete package I'd say is totally worth it. Compared to release it is a completely different game. Feels like a much more realized vision, that consistently hits some pretty high notes. Panam is still the coolest, but Songbird was a really well done character too. With the game not being a flaming wreck, it's way easier to get into the storytelling, and it is pretty great for this medium. Especially those major characters, they're interestingly complicated and don't always behave how you'd expect. The overall experience is kinda like being a protagonist in a tv show, quests have their own arcs and climaxes and characters appear distinctly changed by the events as they unfold. That was always there, but now I'm comfortable saying you'll actually have that experience playing it.

      23 votes
    26. Physical keyboard for android phone?

      I have a quandary. Even with a decent android keyboard (Typewise offline keyboard), I still find myself hampered by gettingnanstringnofnwordsnwhereni miss the space bar. Sometimes I miss n "A"...

      I have a quandary. Even with a decent android keyboard (Typewise offline keyboard), I still find myself hampered by gettingnanstringnofnwordsnwhereni miss the space bar. Sometimes I miss n "A" key. I am very out put by my likelihood of getting "out" when I meant "put" and vice versa.

      I am becoming a part time worker / primary parent while my wife goes back to a full time job, which means I do a lot of waiting in places where I'm typing extended sections of text (like this one) in places where its not really practical or appropriate to pull out a laptop.

      What I really want is a physical keyboard for my phone. It seems like there are a lot of folding and non-folding options that are meant to work on a table with the phone as a screen. But if I could do that, I could pull out my laptop.

      If I had a wish that could get me anything, I'd like a split thumb keyboard where the two halves sandwich (and grip) the phone the way the joycons go on a Nintendo switch.

      The best thing I have found so far is this keyboard puck. I have bought a similar device for HTPC, and it is surprisingly easy to use. This still has the downside of requiring the use of with hands and not having a way to hold the phone. Maybe I could 3D print some kind of mount, but something with a built-in mount would be much better.

      I'm wondering how others have solved this problem? I'm open to almost anything that makes me a faster /more accurate typist on the go.

      20 votes
    27. How do you divide a room completely and maintain high visibility?

      So here's my situation and what I'm trying to prepare for. My mom is currently sick (we think it's an infection), and last night she fell and threw up, scared me half to death. She says she's...

      So here's my situation and what I'm trying to prepare for. My mom is currently sick (we think it's an infection), and last night she fell and threw up, scared me half to death. She says she's fine(ish) now, and we're waiting on test results. It got me thinking how she said I'll inherit her Siamese cat breeding business and it got me thinking a lot about it.

      I'm wanting to divide what is currently a purely aesthetic room so the queens can have more room for their kittens who then won't get to hide under/in the couch (yes, inside the couch, because they tore holes in the fabric underneath it, apparently) whenever I try to show them to customers.

      I want to divide my dining room from the entry way, where the front door leads into the living room, so the cats don't escape out the front door. Imagine a hallway (12 to 14 feet long) from the front door to the living room (and it's a double wide doorless doorway connecting it to the living room), but one wall of the hallway doesn't exist, and instead opens fully into the dining area. I haven't measured yet, but I'm estimating it's around 12 to 14 feet across, and 9 or 10 feet tall.

      I'd like to use something budget friendly (ofc), like plexiglass, acrylic, resin, whatever. Something fully see through (or as see through as possible) so the customers can see them immediately. Proper glass will need a whole installation process and will add to the cost. Also, I'll want to add a door to this new "window wall" so the customers and I can walk in and out, and preferably have it be a sliding door, since I think this is the option that will be the least likely to pinch a kitten.

      My dad suggested a garage screen door, with magnetic closing, made of fiber glass mesh, but I can already tell the cats will eventually tear it up and make it look ratty, and also slip out from under it most likely.

      We can't use normal room dividers because our cats can sometimes jump from the floor to the top of the fridge, and room dividers are too flimsy. Also I'm not sure how to fasten a door to them (maybe I could just open them, but idk).

      I've also half-way crossed any meshes, cages, or fencing off my option list because it looks ratty imo. Btw when I say "ratty" I mean it will make me look like some backyard breeder or someone who doesn't care about her cats. I don't want my kittens to look like inmates lol. But cages/metal bars are a last resort, because I need something, as right now my mom has them set up in what I personally consider to be cages that are far too small to keep the mother cat in 24/7 for 2 to 4 weeks. The mother cat can just about lay down once you have to put the litterbox in. (It's the vertical one with the 3 tier platforms, with wheels and a bottom tray that you can find on amazon)

      I've looked all over amazon, just window (lol) shopping/browsing for ideas on what I could use, and omg. Either inflation is horrible, or I'm severely out of touch with what a "budget" option for this project would be.

      I've even gone so far as to consult ChatGPT, who was not really that helpful.

      A list of things I've thought about already are:
      -Garage screen doors (cats will eventually scratch through and slip under)
      -Sliding barn doors (for the end of the entry way that leads into the living room, instead of dividing the dining room, but this would give the kittens and queens access to the front door when people go in and out)

      • Those DIY metal grid panels people use to build storage furniture (ratty looking, and kind of expensive, but is my last resort as it seems to be the cheapest option I think)
      • Ordering a proper glass window wall (this would have to be properly installed into the house, which would cost too much)
      • Normal room dividers (too flimsy, too short, no door option)
      • Chain link fence segments (definitely ratty looking)
      • Decorative metal/PVC room divider modular panels that hang from the ceiling (I can't seem to find a version that has ample visibility without giant holes the kittens could slip through)
      • Just building a bigger cage (more expensive than just building a wall out of the panels, and again, it's ratty looking)
      • Using clear acrylic modular panels with holes in the corners, chained/tied together to hang from the ceiling (it's an option, but I'm not sure if it's the best in terms of aesthetics & cost, and idk how to attach a door that way)
      • 3D printed prefab wall panels (not see through, and idk if/how I'd fit a door on it)
      • Prefab floor to ceiling windows (expensive, heavy, needs proper installation I think)
      • A clear, plastic tent piece, large enough for a patio (that would also look bad, since it's shiny and most likely will get scratched up)

      I may be forgetting some options that I considered already, but I'm a complete novice at construction and home improvement, so I figured you guys probably know something I don't. I need a true barrier, that is preferably as clear as possible.

      Even if you think your idea isn't all that good, suggest it anyway because I might be able to springboard off of it. This includes ideas relating to stuff I've thought of already.

      17 votes
    28. Formula 1 Qatar SPRINT RACE 2023 - Results

      Since it's a weekend with a Sprint Race, thought I'd do a separate post for the Sprint. The big news is that... [SPOILER] Max Verstappen is the 2023 World Drivers Champion! With 407 points, there...

      Since it's a weekend with a Sprint Race, thought I'd do a separate post for the Sprint.

      The big news is that... [SPOILER]

      Max Verstappen is the 2023 World Drivers Champion!

      With 407 points, there aren't enough points left for anyone else, mainly Sergio Perez, to knock him off P1. This is Max's 3rd WDC in a row.

      Redbull Honda wraps up the season with both the World Constructors Championship (in Japan) and now the WDC. I say "wraps up," yet there are 6 Grands Prix and 2 Sprint Races to go.

      And on to the Sprint Race Results:

      Results -- SPOILER
      POS NO DRIVER CAR LAPS TIME/RETIRED PTS
      1 81 Oscar Piastri MCLAREN MERCEDES 19 35:01.297 8
      2 1 Max Verstappen RED BULL RACING HONDA RBPT 19 +1.871s 7
      3 4 Lando Norris MCLAREN MERCEDES 19 +8.497s 6
      4 63 George Russell MERCEDES 19 +11.036s 5
      5 44 Lewis Hamilton MERCEDES 19 +17.314s 4
      6 55 Carlos Sainz FERRARI 19 +18.806s 3
      7 16 Charles Leclerc FERRARI 19 +19.860s 2
      8 23 Alexander Albon WILLIAMS MERCEDES 19 +19.864s 1
      9 14 Fernando Alonso ASTON MARTIN ARAMCO MERCEDES 19 +21.180s 0
      10 10 Pierre Gasly ALPINE RENAULT 19 +21.742s 0
      11 77 Valtteri Bottas ALFA ROMEO FERRARI 19 +22.208s 0
      12 22 Yuki Tsunoda ALPHATAURI HONDA RBPT 19 +22.863s 0
      13 18 Lance Stroll ASTON MARTIN ARAMCO MERCEDES 19 +24.523s 0
      14 20 Kevin Magnussen HAAS FERRARI 19 +24.970s 0
      15 24 Zhou Guanyu ALFA ROMEO FERRARI 19 +26.868s 0
      NC 27 Nico Hulkenberg HAAS FERRARI 11 DNF 0
      NC 31 Esteban Ocon ALPINE RENAULT 10 DNF 0
      NC 11 Sergio Perez RED BULL RACING HONDA RBPT 10 DNF 0
      NC 2 Logan Sargeant WILLIAMS MERCEDES 2 DNF 0
      NC 40 Liam Lawson ALPHATAURI HONDA RBPT 0 DNF 0

      Source: F1.com

      On to the actual Grand Prix, tomorrow!

      7 votes
    29. Timasomo 2023: Week 1 Updates

      Update us on your progress so far! What did/didn't you get done this week? Anything go according to plan? Anything go off the rails? Any successes or struggles to share? Do you need feedback or...

      Update us on your progress so far!

      • What did/didn't you get done this week?

      • Anything go according to plan?

      • Anything go off the rails?

      • Any successes or struggles to share?

      • Do you need feedback or help on anything?

      This is your topic to share anything and everything you want about what you’ve made so far.

      30 votes
    30. I've been looking into self-hosting, what's the best cost-efficient option?

      I host a couple of very small websites for personal stuff and a Foundry server for my weekly RPG. Not exactly resource-intensive. And I've been paying for webhosting for a while for it, and it...

      I host a couple of very small websites for personal stuff and a Foundry server for my weekly RPG. Not exactly resource-intensive. And I've been paying for webhosting for a while for it, and it just feels unnecessary.

      I always figured when I finally decided to do it, I'd just grab a Raspberry Pi and go to town. But they're... weirdly expensive. The Zero 2 W is sold out everywhere, they have insane resale prices, and you still need to essentially buy the 'kit' first time to have most of the stuff to set one up. So is it worth it?

      I've been toying between that or just grabbing an old server off craigslist or Facebook Marketplace for $25-$30 and just going to town from there. What do you guys recommend?

      31 votes
    31. Why is Popeyes so good?

      I love fried chicken sandwiches. I have loads of fast food options as well as one off restaurants around me that offer fried chicken sandwiches, some that it is their claim to fame. It doesn’t...

      I love fried chicken sandwiches. I have loads of fast food options as well as one off restaurants around me that offer fried chicken sandwiches, some that it is their claim to fame. It doesn’t seem to matter where I go in search of the best fried chicken sandwiches, or how much money I spend, Popeyes is always the best.

      Two topics to start discussion:

      1. What is your favourite fried chicken place where you live? Bonus points if you live around Vancouver, BC, Canada and can introduce me to a new favourite chicken place.

      2. What does Popeyes do to get such consistency across all locations, and why the heck is it so good?

      30 votes
    32. Getting frustrated studying for a certification

      I signed up for a class from Udemy. Udemy makes tech classes you take at your own pace. The lessons are many short videos with lectures and some practical exercises. I signed up for a class that...

      I signed up for a class from Udemy. Udemy makes tech classes you take at your own pace. The lessons are many short videos with lectures and some practical exercises.

      I signed up for a class that will prepare me to take a certification class for a skill that will help my resume. Complete worth it.

      I am about 2/3 done.

      The thing is I've getting frustrated and mentally run down.

      The course is voluminous. The going is slow.

      I know the thing to do is to forget about finishing, forget about the results, and just focus on enjoying each lesson in the hear and now.

      I enjoy taking notes, I am good at it, and I find reviewing notes to be soothing/meditative.

      I still get frustrated and demoralized.

      Worse, I always thought if I got a lot of time to learn something I would sit down at it 8 hours a day and blow it away. I get wiped out at about 3-4 hours. I'm kicking myself for this which isn't helping.

      Any advice, commiseration, or success stories?

      21 votes
    33. Meaningful family games or activities for gatherings?

      Our extended family lives in the same city and we're always getting together (brother/sisters-in-laws, their kids). So basically our generation and our kids. Probably 13-15 of us. We meet maybe...

      Our extended family lives in the same city and we're always getting together (brother/sisters-in-laws, their kids). So basically our generation and our kids. Probably 13-15 of us.

      We meet maybe once or twice a month, but whenever we meet, kids just go do kids things, dads go over here, moms go over there. One of the dads invariably falls asleep, one or two of the kids kind of mull about not quite fitting in here or there.

      I was wondering if any of you had any ideas for something that can be done together that might help build memories or at least structure some time so that there's meaningful interaction and we can get to know each other better instead of defaulting to whatever is least effort.

      The only constraint is that is has to be that it's an in-home, indoor activity suitable for teens/pre-teens.

      25 votes
    34. Raspberry pi zero w for running pihole (or home web server) - anything good/necessary accessories?

      Hey, I thought folks on tildes might have some personal experience here. For context - I'm not stuck on the raspberry pi zero, and I'm open to alternatives. I'm looking at it because it's...

      Hey, I thought folks on tildes might have some personal experience here. For context - I'm not stuck on the raspberry pi zero, and I'm open to alternatives. I'm looking at it because it's inexpensive ($15), which is my limiting factor right now.

      I am curious to play around with pihole to block ads network wide. I'd also love to be able to run a web server to host my website. After some precursory research, I learned that raspberry pi zero w is a good option.

      My question is - are there any other things that are good (or necessary) to purchase to go along with it? Asking because I am going to have to buy it online (one of the authorized sellers), and since I'm going to pay for shipping, I only want to make one purchase. So, if there's other things I need to get, I'd love to know.

      Alternatively, if you have personal experience with an alternative device, I'm all ears. (P.S. I realize I could just run pihole on my laptop, but I don't want to do that, as I'd need to keep it running 24/7...) I did see some alternative devices (orange pi, for example). But they were all much more expensive ($40 + rather than $15 for raspberry pi zero w)

      16 votes
    35. Advice on a first time visit to Oahu, Hawaii

      Hi ~travel! My partner and I are going to Oahu for a ten day holiday at end of October. Neither of us have been there before. We are looking for advice on what to see, eat, do. We have a rental...

      Hi ~travel!

      My partner and I are going to Oahu for a ten day holiday at end of October. Neither of us have been there before. We are looking for advice on what to see, eat, do. We have a rental car.
      We'd love to see some less popular nooks of Oahu without angering the locals.

      So far we have to do:

      • Pearl harbor museum, USS Arizona.
      • Surf somewhere we can both enjoy. I am experienced but in intermediate paddling shape. Partner is a novice. Trying for a couple hours' AM paddle out for a few days. Beach, point, or rock reef breaks.
      • Drink a Mai Tai. Where is the best bar on the island? Posh or dive? We like dive bars but aren't afraid to splash out for a fantastic experience.
      • Attend a luau. Who's got the best roast swine? Removed this on the advice of commenters, also very expensive after looking into it. Will go eat at a few food trucks instead!
      • Day hikes. Where are the good trails?
      • Non-surf watersports. Can't afford marlin fishing with our budget but snorkeling, diving, or sailing are realistic options.

      Anything else? Some of the best travel suggestions have come from strangers in hostels or bars - probably also Tildes. Thanks for reading everyone!

      edit: for brevity

      16 votes
    36. Looking for help in purchasing an eReader

      I want to start reading more, and I'd also like to start avoiding screens before I sleep, so I'd like to get an e-ink device that I can use for reading. I've never owned or looked into ereaders...

      I want to start reading more, and I'd also like to start avoiding screens before I sleep, so I'd like to get an e-ink device that I can use for reading.

      I've never owned or looked into ereaders before so I'm not entirely sure what the general capabilities are in this space, but heres a list of things that I consider important:

      • Absolutely essential:
        • I need to be able to put my own files (epubs, pdfs, etc) on the device to read without being forced to go through some marketplace installed on the device (if anything I'd prefer there to not be a marketplace on the device at all, or a removable one, as I would never use it). Files don't need to be added remotely, as long as I can connect it to my (Linux) computer with a USB and mount the storage or pop out the SD/microSD to do that then that's sufficient.
        • I need to actually own the device, none of the techno-feudalist bullshit like what plagues the smartphone landscape. I want to be able to remove non-essential components (e.g. marketplace) and it'd be nice if I could also tinker and install third party software freely. If possible I'd prefer a device that's mostly or completely open and FOSS by design, but I'm aware that might be asking too much. As an alternative I would also be willing to hack the device to get it in an open, FOSS state if the process isn't too complicated and it's well documented, it'd be preferable if it was that way by design but as long as I can get there one way or another I'll be content.
      • Would very much like to have:
        • In addition to regular books, it'd be nice if I could also read manga. These tend to be zip/rar files containing a series of images, so I'd assume support for reading things formatted in that way is probably less widespread if it exists at all on dedicated ereader devices.
        • Some kind of lighting so the device is usable in the dark. I don't know how this would compare to the blue light from screens (if anyone knows, please share) but I'll certainly want to use it for more than just before I sleep.
        • Some kind of system to add notes as I read might be nice, I was never good at studying and note taking in school so I don't know how much mileage I'd get out of it but in theory it'd definitely be a boon to organize information as I read or add notes to myself to look into things later or whatever.
      • Would be nice to have, can live without:
        • The ability to load music onto the device and plug in headphones to listen to music while I read. Bluetooth for audio devices isn't really something I care about, but might be desireable in case I get bluetooth headphones in the future (unlikely). Unimportant if it has built in speakers or not, as long as I can plug in headphones.
      24 votes
    37. Timasomo 2023: Roll Call

      October 1st has already hit in some parts of the world, so Timasomo has officially begun! Posting in this thread is your official entry into Timasomo. Let everyone know what your actual plans are:...

      October 1st has already hit in some parts of the world, so Timasomo has officially begun!

      Posting in this thread is your official entry into Timasomo. Let everyone know what your actual plans are: what are you going to make?

      Once the date turns over to October 1st wherever you are in the world, feel free to start creating!


      FAQs

      What is Timasomo really though?

      Timasomo (Tildes’ Make Something Month) is a chance to create something/anything!

      There are no restrictions on what you can choose to make.

      The best way to get a feel for Timasomo is to check out the previous showcase threads:

      These showcases are the culminating event of Timasomo -- a public gallery of participants' creations. Each item in the showcases was a project that community members chose to complete for the event.

      In the weeks leading up to the showcase, discussion threads will be posted where people can share their progress.

      Can I participate?

      Yes! Timasomo is open to anyone on Tildes! Please make sure you are subscribed to ~creative.timasomo.

      The greater Tildes community is also encouraged to participate in discussion threads even if you are not actively working towards a creative goal. This is meant to be an inclusive community event -- all are welcome!

      If you are interested in participating but do not have a Tildes login, please e-mail the invite request address here for an invite to the community.

      How do I sign up?

      Make sure you are subscribed to ~creative.timasomo.

      On October 1st, there will be a Roll Call thread. By posting your plans to participate in that thread, you have formally signed up for Timasomo!

      Didn't it used to be in November?

      Yes. Timasomo was originally inspired by NaNoWriMo, the National Novel Writing Month, which takes place in November.

      Initially, I wanted people participating in NaNoWriMo to be able to share their work with Timasomo as well. In the entire time it has run, however, no participant has publicly submitted any work from NaNoWriMo to Timasomo. Instead, Timasomo has gained its own identity independent of NaNoWriMo.

      Many participants from previous years have shared that October would be a better month for them personally, so we moved the event to October.

      Also, the event was so fantastically popular that it regularly upstaged American Thanksgiving, thus we only felt it fair that Canadian Thanksgiving be targeted as well.

      What are the rules?

      Timasomo is self-driven and its goals are self-selected.

      On October 1st, participants will commit to a creative project (or projects) that they plan to complete within the month of October.

      There is no restriction on the methods/products of creativity: writing, painting, code, food, photos, crafts, songs -- if it's creative expression for you, it works for Timasomo!

      Though most will be participating individually, collaborations are welcome too!

      What is the schedule?

      Timasomo begins October 1st and ends October 31st.

      All creative output towards your goal(s) should be confined to this time.

      This week prior to the start of October is for planning. There will be a few days at the beginning of November given to "finishing touches" before we have our final thread, which will be a showcase of all the completed works.

      Below are the dates that I will be posting weekly threads:

      Sunday, October 1, 2023: Roll Call Thread
      Sunday, October 8, 2023: Update Thread #1
      Sunday, October 15, 2023: Update Thread #2
      Sunday, October 22, 2023: Update Thread #3
      Sunday, October 29, 2023: Final Update Thread
      Sunday, November 5, 2023: Timasomo Showcase Thread

      Do I have to share my creation(s) publicly?

      Tildes is a privacy-respecting site, and you are not obligated to share your creation here if you do not want to. We'd still love to hear about it though, if you're willing to share process and details!

      Is it Timasomo or TiMaSoMo?

      Either.

      I personally use "Timasomo" because I think it looks cleaner and because too much time on the internet has made my brain incapable of reading "TiMaSoMo" as anything other than sarcasm, but go with whichever you prefer.

      The best option, however, is “𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑨𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑶” for reasons that are self-evident.

      47 votes
    38. People who turn off their electronics hours before bed... What do you do at night?

      There's a good thread going around on Tildes right now about sleep hygiene tips. One of those is making sure you stop using your electronics before bed, to help with circadian rhythms and whatnot....

      There's a good thread going around on Tildes right now about sleep hygiene tips. One of those is making sure you stop using your electronics before bed, to help with circadian rhythms and whatnot.

      Determined to make a fool of myself in spite of the above thread, last night I stayed up until 4am in bed reading various junk sites on my phone. As a consequence, I slept in until noon 😭. I don't want to do this anymore! I want a regular sleep schedule... 11-7 or 12-8 would be my dream.

      I've tried blocking the problematic sites in the past, and it largely works for me for several months... Until I hit a bad mood patch and get antsy and bored, craving the dopamine hits, wanting to turn my brain off and just scroll mindlessly. (It's very much a self-soothe behavior...)

      I think it would be easier to solve this problem if I had an arsenal of things to do that are nice and engaging, but don't involve using a phone or computer. Yet, I'm at a bit of a loss... Seemingly everything involves a computer or screen one way or another these days. I'd love an e-ink device that let's me listen to Spotify or something, but alas, I think I might need to look into low-tech solutions.

      What do you do at night that doesn't involve screen time?

      64 votes
    39. Trip suggestions for a week in New York?

      I’m going for a week in October with the whole family, so wife and kids aged 11 and 15. So far we are planning on seeing some shows off Broadway, doing most of the typical tourist things like...

      I’m going for a week in October with the whole family, so wife and kids aged 11 and 15. So far we are planning on seeing some shows off Broadway, doing most of the typical tourist things like Central Park, Governor’s island, Times Square, the museums. We’re going to be staying in Hell’s Kitchen at a hotel. Anything off the beaten path that’s worth checking out?

      Edit: OMG the floods, what have I got myself into?

      https://www.nytimes.com/live/2023/09/29/nyregion/nyc-rain-flash-flooding

      13 votes
    40. Recent DAKboard issue

      I have been running a DAKBoard on a Raspberry Pi 4 for almost 4 years now without any problems until recently following this guide IIRC. About 2 weeks ago, DAKBoard started logging itself out and...

      I have been running a DAKBoard on a Raspberry Pi 4 for almost 4 years now without any problems until recently following this guide IIRC.

      About 2 weeks ago, DAKBoard started logging itself out and only shows a black screen with the time on it and the DAK logo in the lower right corner. If I go into the settings it will bring up the DAK page that shows I am not logged in. When I log in again it seems to work randomly for about 24-36 hours.

      I'm running it in a kiosk mode browser on Raspberry Pi OS. I am using the free tier of DAKBoard.

      Before I wipe the SD card and start over from scratch I was wondering if there were any suggestions? To be completely honest, it has been "set and forget" for the past number of years so I would like to make sure I'm not overlooking something pretty basic/easy.

      On a side note: Has anyone had any experiense using the DAKBoard OS on a Pi? I don't remember it being an option when I set it up originally.

      Thank you for any assistance and if you have any spare hardware laying around I'd highly recommend setting one up, my family finds it incredibly useful for the calendar function and a conversation piece when they notice different photos rotating in and out.

      3 votes
    41. Weird video playback issue

      Specifications: Computer: Framework 13" DIY Edition. 32GB RAM 11th Gen i7-1185G7 Windows 11 Pro Browser: Brave Browser Current Version Displays: Samsung LC27JG50QQNZA Series Curved 27in HP VH240a...

      Specifications:

      Computer: Framework 13" DIY Edition.

      • 32GB RAM
      • 11th Gen i7-1185G7
      • Windows 11 Pro

      Browser: Brave Browser

      • Current Version

      Displays:

      Dock:


      Issue:

      Regardless of the website that I am on (I.e. Youtube, Twitch, Rumble, Netflix, etc.) my video stream will at random and only on my Samsung display will start to slide repeatedly to the left. The best way that I can describe it is to imagine taping a picture to a treadmill and setting to a highspeed setting. The image will move along with the treadmill. That's what the video feed does at random for some reason.
      • If I move it to the HP display it stops.
        • sometimes when I move it back it continues and sometimes it doesn't.
      • If I try and capture it via the built in screen recorder in windows it doesn't show up in the recording.

      Have any of you had this experience or know what is causing this?


      P.S. Thank you in advance for whoever corrects my tags and title which seams to happen evetime I post. I'm still trying to learn the correct way to post here on Tildes.


      ***EDIT***

      All sorts of stuff is going on now...
      • My monitor also blinks now and then video starts to slide
      • I've only gotten it to reproduce on Brave Browser.
      • I put Firefox and Brave side by side when it started happening. When I clicked on the Firefox browser it stopped. Then when I clicked on to Brave browser it started again... Like WHAT!?
      • With the browsers side by side the video on the brave browser started to slide again but now slid across both browsers...
      • Every time I try to record it stops... It's mocking me at this point.
      13 votes
    42. What are some things you do "the old fashioned way," which might come with unexpected benefits over the modern, "improved" way of doing things?

      My examples have to do with tech/media, but it could be anything - old fashioned or "outdated" ways of cooking, communicating, hobbies, or mending things rather than replacing them, etc. Owning...

      My examples have to do with tech/media, but it could be anything - old fashioned or "outdated" ways of cooking, communicating, hobbies, or mending things rather than replacing them, etc.


      Owning DVDs

      Earlier this year my husband and I had an irresistible urge to watch the masterpiece film that is Shrek. I hoped that one of the most popular animated movies of all time would be available at no charge to me, but of course it was not on Hulu, HBO, Netflix, or included with Prime. So that's great, I'm paying something around $50 a month for all these libraries of media, and somehow find myself paying extra whenever I want to watch something specific. Fair enough though, that's part of the deal I guess.

      We decide to rent the movie on Amazon for $5. A couple years ago, I'm pretty sure renting movies like this was more around $2-3 and they've been slowly bumping it up. Okay. Everything gets more expensive. We try to start streaming the movie, and Amazon gives us this pop-up that says they've detected the hardware we're streaming it on (it's apparently a bit outdated,) so it's going to choose a specific version of the movie for us, one that didn't use some new technology related to streaming quality. That's fine in itself, but it just got me thinking about how much control these streaming companies have over all of this. My TV is at least 15 years old, works perfectly fine, and I don't see myself replacing it anytime soon. My imagination went the dramatic route, picturing a future where Amazon and its ilk will only stream to newer computers/TVs, either for a legitimate technological reason, or because they've struck a conniving secret deal with the TV manufacturers. Again, dramatic I know, but my point is just the general idea that these companies make all the decisions with streaming; we own and decide nothing.

      Ultimately, I realized I could have easily found a DVD of Shrek for $1-2 at practically any used bookstore, and I would have not only saved money, I would have avoided giving my money to Daddy Bezos, and gained ownership of a fairly permanent copy of the movie. And what could be better than the ability to watch Shrek on repeat for the rest of my life?

      So basically my husband and I have started a DVD collection. We have date nights at used bookstores and pick up all kinds of unexpected treasures. Childhood favorites we had forgotten about, classics we haven't seen in years, DVDs with extensive special features, some with really nicely designed packaging. For some reason, browsing the DVD shelves is like the fun version of scrolling aimlessly through endless streaming catalogs and not being able to decide what to watch. It reminds me of one of the greatest joys of growing up as a child in the 90s - getting to go to Blockbuster (or in my neighborhood, "Mr. Movies") and frolicking around with your friends/siblings, physically checking out the cases, and debating over which ones are the best (Mom is on a budget, after all.)

      I have been pleasantly surprised by how novel and enjoyable it has been.


      Owning Music

      My second thing started when I realized I really want to spend more time away from my phone. I've also been jogging recently and have been annoyed/confused about what to do with this massive phone that I want with me for music (I try to buy small phones but they barely exist anymore.) Probably inspired by my recent "discovery" of the joys of DVDs, I decided to spend $25 on a tiny, simple mp3 player that clips onto my clothes. A music player that isn't also a social media machine which is connected to the entire world and every human being I've ever known, at any given moment. Just music.

      Then I realized that I haven't owned any music (or paid any artist directly for their music,) in at least a decade. I genuinely didn't even know where to buy music at first. The last time I bought music, I was 17 years old and hadn't yet freed myself from the Apple/itunes ecosystem ("freed" myself from it, right into the Google/Pixel ecosystem, of course.) Someone suggested Bandcamp, as when you buy music on there it comes with the option to download mp3s. I've had fun discovering some new artists on the platform. And although I really like supporting artists directly, to make my collection a bit more frugal I've started picking up a couple cheap CDs when we go shopping for DVDs. I just export the music as mp3s with some free software. I'm not an audiophile, and the quality seems just fine to me. Next, I think I'll visit my parents and get some mp3s from their boomer CD collection.

      All of this also prompted my husband to dig out an old hard drive of his, which we found had a massive goldmine of all the music he listened to in college (and he had/has fantastic taste in music!) Some of my favorites, plus all kinds of random bands and genres that I wouldn't necessarily think to seek out on Spotify, but they're in my lovely collection now, so why not listen? :)

      (A bonus to exploring the old media was finding some ridiculous photos and memes he had saved from college. Bless him and his radical vulnerability, I couldn't believe he was willing to browse the hard drive with me while having no idea what was on it. Thankfully for him, it was mostly just good music, along with photos of sharks with large human teeth photoshopped onto them. He is so pure.)


      The DVD/MP3 thing seems like a no brainer now that I've tried it, and I'm sure it will seem silly to some of you, but it simply didn't occur to me for years. Maybe something about my age - being 31 years old, the transition to streaming media happened just about exactly when I graduated from highschool and became an adult. I had no personal DVD collections to bring to my first apartment, and I certainly wasn't going to buy any - Netflix was all the rage, around $8/month, and practically no one actually paid for their own account. And having only purchased one or two physical CDs in my life, I did have a large mp3 collection from iTunes and Limewire as a teenager, but that died pretty quickly once we moved from iPods to phones for music, which happened around the same time. I think I transferred MP3s to my first one or two phones and lost them after that.

      Anyway, in a world increasingly impacted by enshittification, with companies relentlessly pushing towards the breaking point of what we will tolerate when it comes to how we spend our time and money, I'm sure there are other "hidden in plain sight" realizations I'm missing out on.

      106 votes
    43. Tourist destinations that are more than just a nice view?

      My vacation destinations are already set for the next year, but last night I saw a video about Hoffbrauhaus in Bavaria. It ended up captivating me because it sounds like something really mundane...

      My vacation destinations are already set for the next year, but last night I saw a video about Hoffbrauhaus in Bavaria. It ended up captivating me because it sounds like something really mundane until you look further into it. Learning about the history, the cultural importance, and the general experience of going there really made me want to go.

      I live in the Southwestern United States, so travel to me is usually stuff that's in the US or Mexico. One of the trips we're thinking of doing will lead us to Canada for a while. But this part of the world is still relatively "new" and the cultural stuff is just a bit too familliar, and so most of it ends up just looking at pretty views. And I'm getting really tired of nice views.

      With that in mind, I'm looking for places to go to add to my bucket list of places that have a lot of cultural value (while hopefully still being accessible to a clueless American) or perhaps has more sensual elements like interesting regional cuisine or visiting a famous historical bathhouse. I know there's tons of places that fit that description, but surely some of you have some favorites you'd like to recommend.

      48 votes
    44. On creating time for Timasomo

      Apologies if posting before October is truly upon us is frowned upon, it's been a while and I don't recall the etiquette! This post is going to be a bit of a brain-dump about how I've gone about...

      Apologies if posting before October is truly upon us is frowned upon, it's been a while and I don't recall the etiquette! This post is going to be a bit of a brain-dump about how I've gone about allocating my time towards Timasomo 2023. It might come across as a bit self-indulgent, which is not intentional. I think talking about processes is valuable, and hopefully others who are figuring out what they want to do for this year and how to find the time for it may find some inspiration as well.

      In my comment on the announcement thread, I mentioned that I don't have a huge amount of time in October that I'll be able to dedicate to the project I'm planning to work on. I decided that I do actually want to get it done, and it'll be a good exercise in working to a deadline and not being too much of a perfectionist.

      So I needed to figure out how to allocate my limited time towards the creative process in such a way that I should (hopefully) be done by 31st October. During my masters degree, we were gently guided towards breaking down each of the component tasks of writing the dissertation and creating a gant chart for the project, allocating the time we thought we'd need towards the project. I decided to do something similar for this project as well. It's a useful skill to be able to take a large project and break it down into individual tasks, and being able to estimate how long each chunk will take is helpful as well.

      My project is to arrange, record, and film video of me playing a metal version of Reel Around the Sun, the opening tune from Riverdance. It's been an idea rattling around my brain for ages, and I think it should be doable in the time. I'm intimately familiar with the tune already, which helps massively. So that means that there are 4 overall stages of the project:

      • Arranging
      • Recording
      • Filming
      • Release

      Arguably the Release stage is implied, but I felt it was good to have some time set aside for the actual process of putting the tune out into the world, and posting here for the showcase once it's done. I broke down each of those main stages into smaller portions, typically per instrument:

      • Arranging
        • Guitars
        • Drums
        • Bass
        • Keys/other

      And so on for each of the first 3 stages, with a few extra bits thrown in for better coverage (mixing and mastering under Recording, for example).

      The next stage was to put the month of October onto a gant chart and to start putting things onto it. I split each day into two parts to better capture days where I can put time in during the afternoon but not the evening, and vice versa, and started blocking out the slots that I absolutely cannot fit anything into. Due to my work being fully remote I have left most daytime slots for workdays unblocked, since I can sometimes fit non-work related stuff into the day or my lunch break. I anticipate this being considerably easier for certain stages over others.

      Here's the more or less finished chart. Grey is dead time, and the palest colours are to indicate where I will need to make time during work or other activities to get the task done. You'll note that there are some where I haven't got a more solid colour, meaning that I am going to have to steal time from work to get those bits done. Where those exist, I have tried to be more generous with myself, giving at least two opportunities for completion. Where I have the less pale colour is time that I can definitely put into the project, so I have gone to my calendar and actually blocked out the time so I don't book anything else in.

      Braindump complete! I now have a rough schedule in my calendar and in my mind that I can run with for my Timasomo project. Of course none of it is rigid, it's a guide, not a requirement. Many aspects will naturally take more or less time than I have estimated, but having the structure there has helped me to realise that I can actually make this work. Bring on October!

      15 votes
    45. Upgrading my gaming PC or starting afresh

      Hello everyone, my CPU died and I'm at a crossroads and hoping for some advice. I bought my rig 4 years ago second-hand. It was originally built in 2017 using high-end parts. It was not something...

      Hello everyone, my CPU died and I'm at a crossroads and hoping for some advice. I bought my rig 4 years ago second-hand. It was originally built in 2017 using high-end parts. It was not something I was looking for TBH, but at the time GPUs were hard to get and it was a crazy deal. Here is what's left of the rig:

      • Motherboard - ASUS x99 Deluxe II, fits Intel i7 LGA2011-v3 CPU socket
      • PSU - EVGA Supernova 850 T2
      • RAM - 32GB, 4 sticks of G.Skill Trident Z 3200 DDR4
      • GPU - EVGA 1080 Ti Founder's Edition 11 GB
      • Case - In Win 904 plus - large and spacious case
      • Storage - Couple of Samsung SSDs
      • CPU Cooler - Have ditched the Corsair AIO, picked up a lowest tier fan for $10 to keep it booting while I figure out what to do

      Options I'm floating.

      1. Get a compatible CPU, but that socket is harder to come by for my MOBO and likely to be second hand + get a new CPU cooler, and upgrade GPU.
      2. Replace MOBO, GPU, and get a new CPU and CPU cooler. The PSU is 6 years old but it's decent quality and 850 watts should be enough?

      Price range/goals:

      • Happy to spend a bit on something that is mid to slightly upper range, but not high end. Thinking $$ will go into the GPU and CPU (maybe $600-800 USD ea?), something reasonably good that's just before the latest gen to get a discounted price. If replacing MOBO, something simple and medium range would be ideal.
      • Play some current AAA games like Baulder's Gate 3 and Elden Ring decently, at medium-high settings (not ultra), and don't need super high FPS.
      • Ideally supports 4k resolution for desktop use but for gaming I'd be mostly sticking to 1440p/1080p.
      • I don't want to overclock (those days are over)
      • Likely to sell in 2ish years, don't need heaps of futureproofing
      • If replacing MOBO, open to going to the AMD ecosystem for price/performance ratio. I've only ever used Intel so know less about AMD systems.
      • Don't need raytracing, DDR5
      • For CPU cooler I don't mind AIO but if anyone has any non-water cooled recommendations I'm all ears

      I'm at a bit of a loss at what to do, and there are not many PC-building threads here on Tildes, so I thought I'd ask for some advice. Anyone have opinions on option 1 or 2 above, or is there a third option I'm not thinking of? And does anyone have part recommendations? Thanks in advance.

      27 votes
    46. Trans identity and the gender binary

      Hi! I would like to take a moment to expand my understanding of an aspect of queer culture that I have some trouble with. I'd like to preface this by saying that, while I consider myself to be...

      Hi! I would like to take a moment to expand my understanding of an aspect of queer culture that I have some trouble with. I'd like to preface this by saying that, while I consider myself to be queer in the broader sense, I also pass as a cishet male. That being said, I'm going to express myself honestly in the hopes that someone will be able to give me an honest to what might read as bigoted. Putting everything else in a detail box:

      Questions on the 'validity' of trans identity Basically - I understand gender to be social construct based on expected roles for biological males and females undertake in a traditional society. While there is some validity to the stereotypes on a biological level, I figure that most people should be able to understand that they exist in many places on the spectrum of masculine to feminine traits. People who are queer generally do not fit into these stereotypes and experience ostracization from those who cannot escape the mental paradigm of the gender binary.

      Is trans identity more than a product of societal gender roles? I don't understand where the root of the dysphoria could be other than not fitting into the stereotypes of your assigned gender. How could someone come to understand that their body feels "wrong" to them without learning that from something outside of their internal experience (i.e. perceiving gender roles and feeling like oneself is more aligned to the opposite pole than the one they're assigned to?) What is the benefit in choosing to identify as transgender (which reinforces gender roles through buying into them) versus choosing to eschew the gender binary entirely and identifying with / presenting as genderfluid or non-binary?

      39 votes